ICarly No more
by experimentalgirl17
Summary: Icarly is no more. Sam and Carly are seniors in High school and no longer friends since Sam came out and anounced she is gay publicly. Sam has a new lover who Carly hates. Carly has new friends and is very popular
1. Chapter 1

ICarly – This story takes place when the crew is in high school and Carly, Sam, and Freddie are now seventeen and things are changing for the friends that could make them grow apart or closer together. Carly is very popular and has a new group of friends that do not accept Sam. Sam came out of the closet over the summer and is dating a girl Carly hates. Freddie made the baseball team the previous year and surprised everyone, including his friends, with his skill and talent and is dating one of the prettiest and wealthiest girls in school. The ICarly web show ended the previous year when the three found separate lives. Can the friendship they established years ago survive? Will there be more that friendship among them? Read and find out.

Rated "M" for language and mature sexual content.

Story written with three POV's…not to confusing I hope.

I of course do not own ICarly or the characters etc…but the new character Amber St Clair is all me!

ICarly No More?

Chapter 1 - Breakfast

Sam walked through her bathroom door and stepped into her bedroom. She smiled at how clean the room was. Her girlfriend was a neat freak and always kept the room clean and in order as she did for the rest of the housel. It took a while to get used to, but once she did Sam liked it clean. The seventeen year old made her way to the mirror and dropped her towel. She looked at herself. She frowned a little. She never was one to be comfortable with her own looks. People told her she was pretty, but she never saw that. What she was was a girl that stood five five with long curly dirty blonde hair, she saw perky small breasts with light brown nipples and natural light tan skin (which really bronzed nicely in the summer time). Her smile widened at her tan lines, she found those to be sexy and so did her lover. Her face was pretty or so she was always told but she thought her nose was too small. Sam looked at her stomach and smiled_, well there are three things I like about myself. I have a nice flat stomach with nice abs (hell two hundred sit ups every morning I they had better be tight and defined) and yeah my eyes are awesome blue_. The blonde turned her body sideways but kept her eyes focused on the mirror, _Damn I have a killer ass_! She smiled as she pulled up her panties. After she hooked her bra she turned to her bed and tossed her wet towel to the lump in her bed.

"Get up, lazy! First day of school and all so hurry up! We have about two hours before we leave and I'm hungry so you need to fix us breakfast too." Sam said to the lump.

A groan came from the lump and then the blankets were thrown back to reveal a girl with jet black hair and a very pretty pale heart shaped face that had light freckles across her nose. Her eyes a brilliant shade of emerald green that sparkled even in their sleepy state. When the girl sat up her dark hair fell down her shoulders and one could make out the crimson streaks mixed in her black hair.

"Argh! I hate mornings. Why are you so cheerful this morning? You are the one who normally is sleeping late." The girl said in a soft musical voice as she tossed the blanket and sheets off her; revealing her naked body. Her skin on her body the same alabaster as her face, her breasts were very small but well shaped, and tipped by rose colored nipples. Her pubic area was completely bare of any hair. She stretched her small thin frame with her arms lifted above her head and let out a little squeak when she yawned. The girl looked up seductively at Sam.

"Since you seem to have all this energy this morning, why not come back to bed and use it on me? We can be late for the first day!"

Sam looked at her and the girl's seductive smile turned into a frown. She knew that look and she got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She turned when she reached to door and stuck out her tongue behind the other girl's back. "Grumpy." She called and shut and then locked the door as Sam threw one of her sneakers.

"Just hurry the fuck up, Amber!" Sam yelled at the door.

Amber turned on the water and got in the shower. As she washed her body she wandered why her lover Sam got up early. It was very unlike Sam to get up before her and very unlike the blonde to be ready before her and then to actually want to go to school. _Wow, that was very strange_. Amber thought of her girlfriend as she washed her face.

To her, and a whole hell of a lot of other people, Sam was very pretty and ever so sexy. She came out of the closet this past spring when she told a select few at school she was gay, and of course they in turn told others etc etc (which is what Sam wanted). That caused a lot of problems for the girl. She got ridiculed at school something awful. She of course was not the only lesbian or even bi sexual girl at school who was out, Amber was one herself (bi-sexual but preferred girls over boys a great deal) and that was not a secret ever since two years ago when she was fourteen. When Sam came out, Amber was one of the first to jump in the line to date her. She was not the first girl Sam dated or was intimate with but she was the last so far. Sam was not a virgin with girls or even boys when they started dating, but her past "relationships" never lasted long. From what Amber found out, Sam was not the easiest person to be involved with. The girl had some anger issues and the things she did sexually her past lovers found strange but…well they suited Amber perfectly. What caused Sam the most problems through were her friends. The girl constantly got into trouble at school and committed some pranks that were borderline criminal but regardless of that she was very popular...until she came out. Her popularity was in large part do to the web show her and her friend Carly had at one time. Which brought up another reason Sam had it rough when she came out, Carly Shay!

Carly Shay was...well Carly Shay. She was tall, the most beautiful girl in school, graceful, popular (being a cheerleader this year helped her popularity) hung around the cool crowd, a saint, and well… straight. Carly had been Sam's best friend for ages and the two were inseparable at one time, but when Sam told Carly she was gay, Carly did not take it well and the two had not spoken all summer. Carly's friends were the worst when it came to making fun of Sam. And that hurt Sam the most when Carly did nothing to defend her (very unsaintly like for Carly Shay). Amber thought about her lover and the sadness she must feel having someone as close to her as Carly had been reject her. Sam loved Carly even if she kept denying it. Amber knew it and it bothered her sometimes since she was totally in love with Sam. She did not know if Sam's love extended beyond friendship or not, but she knew a love was there. That was a terrible blow to the blonde girl. Amber was washing her shoulder length hair when she stopped and her eyes flew open wide. She screamed as the shampoo stung her when it dripped in her eyes, but also in a revelation.

"That, bitch! That bitch!" She screamed. "That is why she is excited to go to school today! She will see Carly today!" She exclaimed aloud. Amber finished her shower faster than normal. Yeah she was a little jealous…a lot jealous, but she had two things in her favor. One being Carly was straight and the second being if Carly was gay there was no way in the world she would let Sam do the things Amber let the blonde do to her. To say Sam was a freak sexually was an understatement and call what Amber let and even enjoyed Sam what she did to her freakish was also an understatement. The two girls had a very unique relationship that most people would consider perverse. Amber was a willing slave to Sam sexually and non-sexually and she enjoyed it a great deal. Plus Amber had a huge crush on Sam even before the girl came out. She would watch that stupid web show just to see the blonde.

Amber started making up the bed and paused to inhale the sheets. It still smelled of both of them and the sex they had last night. It smelled wonderful to Amber. She picked up Sam's pillow and inhaled the other girl's scent. _God, I love you Samantha Puckett_. After she finished the bed, she dried her hair, put on her makeup and got dressed. She looked at herself in the mirror. _Damn, I'm cute_! She thought.

Amber stood only five three and was very petite. She also liked to dress Goth. She was not into all that doom and gloom like most Goth's are, she was too happy go lucky and carefree for that. She just liked the clothes and makeup. Today she wore a black and gray paid skirt whose length would push the school dress code; black thigh highs; blood red, ankle high, leather boots; and a very sexy black overbust corset that buckled in the front with red leather straps (that matched her boots) and black buckles. Amber looked at herself in the mirror and smiled, _damn I am cute. Wish I had bigger boobs through,_ she thought again and giggled. One thing the girl did not lack was confidence in herself. She was not conceded or stuck up by any means; she just knew how others ogled her when she walked the halls of the school. Even the popular boys (and some girls) always watched her when she walked by. And it was not because they thought she was a freak, which most did, but because freak or not they thought she was fucking hot. Her choice of clothes would draw attention, but it was not unusual for her to dress this way. True she pushed the limits at times with the school dress code but she knew how far to go. She touched up her black eyeliner and put on her black lipstick and then decided to wear her hair up today. Sam liked it since it complemented her long neck and heart shaped face. Amber smiled once more at herself in the mirror, _Compete with this Carly Shay. I don't care how hot you look in your cheerleading uniform; I give her what she wants! _Amber thought and then walked into the kitchen to help Sam with the breakfast…well cook it actually. Sam was a terrible cook.

Sam was standing by the coffee maker waiting for it to finish brewing and thinking of the first day of school as a senior. She was excited and scared about school for the first time in her life. She would see Carly and that excited her and scared her. Sam had not spoken to Carly since spring break the previous school year when she told the other girl she was gay….

"_Carls…I need to tell you something. Something important to me." Sam told Carly when they were packing to go on their trip to Cancun for the break. Sam sat on the bed when Carly smiled at her._

"_Wow, must be important. You have been rushing me all morning to hurry and now you take a break." The tall beautiful and perfect girl said._

_Sam looked at her feet, "Carls…I…this is hard for me to tell you…" She paused as Carly grabbed her hand in held it tight when she noticed the look on Sam's face. Carly never saw her best friend look so scared. That scared Carly._

"_Oh, God, Sam…are you OK…you are beginning to worry me now. Please tell me you are going! Please tell me you are OK! Is it your mom? Did you get into some trouble? Is…is it Nick? I know he broke up with you and all…" The brunette stopped when she heard Sam give a harsh forced laugh._

"_Nick! I know he told everyone he dumped me, but I am the one who dumped him! And no I am not in trouble or it is not my mom…its…fuck…I guess the only way to tell you is to tell you. Carly…I'm…I'm gay." Sam blurted out and felt the other girl let go of her hand. Carly jumped to her feet and looked down at her friend._

"_Your…your gay? You mean as in lesbian? You…you can't be! I don't believe you…your joking! Good one, Puckett, but we need to finish packing." Carly laughed, a little too fake, and turned to her luggage and placed a folded shirt in her case._

_Sam stood up and took a few steps toward her friend, "Carly…I'm not joking. I'm gay." She said softly._

_Carly did not turn around and continued to pack. "Oh please, Sam, stop fooling around. I mean you dated Nick for three months and Steve before that so see you cannot be gay. Just hurry or we are going to miss the plane. I am soooo excited about this week. Hey maybe we should get Freddie to pack his equipment and do an ICarly web cast from Cancun. How cool would that be?" Carly kept speaking without turning or stopping her packing. _

_Sam looked at her for a moment. It was not the response she expected from her long term friend. She really did not know what to expect but to be totally ignored was not it. She was hoping for support and secretly hoping for the other girl to jump into her arms and kiss her. She knew that was a fantasy, but she loved Carly deeply. She always had. Both in friendship and romantically. But to be ignored was not what she planned on. Sam felt anger build inside of her along with sadness._

"_Carly Shay, fucking look at me!" Carly turned and she had tears in her eyes. Sam continued, "Yeah I know I dated Steve and Nick and for your information I fucked both of them! But they…they did not satisfy me sexually or non-sexually. I knew for years I was gay, but refused to believe it. I…I met a girl at that coffee shop in Elliott Bay the weekend you and Spencer visited your grandfather and when she kissed me it was…wow! I never felt the way I did with boys as I did when she kissed me! And then…we…we had sex and it was incredible. Carls, I…yeah I'm gay. I need you of all people to know that…to…to understand it and to…to accept it. Fucking look at me! Say something!" Sam screamed with tears in her eyes now when Carly turned around without a word and started packing again._

_Carly turned back around after a short pause and had tears running down her cheeks. "Why, Sam? Why do this to me…to us? I…I can't…We were fucking going on vacation together! Why…I…and you had sex! With two boys and a girl! I'm your best friend and you never told me that! Why…oh Sam…I can't do this! You can't be gay! I can't be just…I can't be your friend right now." With that Carly ran out of the room in tears._

_Sam stood there for a moment dumbfounded and heartbroken. She knew Carly was not going to jump into her arms and declare her undying love for her, regardless of the fantasy she had to that effect. But for her best friend in the world to reject her like that was all she could take. Sam quickly threw her clothes in her suitcase and left the room, also with tears leaking down her cheeks._

_Sam found herself an hour later at a small coffee shop in the bay area thinking of what happened. She was pissed and sad. She ordered a coffee with cream from the waitress without looking up and sat there. The afternoon was still a blur in her mind. She told her best friend she was gay and her best friend in the world said she could not deal with it right now! Some friend! Her thoughts were brought back to the present by a very pleasant musical voice._

"_Hey, your Samantha Puckett…we go to the same school." Sam looked up and the first thing she noticed were sparkling green eyes that seemed to pierce her soul. "Yeah, so?" She answered rudely. _

"_Well…here's your coffee and I'm Amber…Amber St. Clair. You alright? You seem a little sad." The girl said and Sam looked her over as she took the coffee. She immediately thought the girl was cute…very cute even with the unflattering blue uniform slacks and polo shirt. Her hair was pulled up in a pony tail on her head and Sam could make out the occasional red streaks mixed with the black hair. She was very petite and looked like a china doll with her cute heart shaped face and black makeup around her eyes and black lipstick. Sam remembered seeing her in school and had heard the name before. She really did not know her well even if they were in the same grade. They did not hang in the same social clicks and she had heard the girl was very smart and took advance classes so Sam never had a class with her. Her name was always on the honor roles at school. She also heard rumor that Amber St. Clair liked girls and was a freak. Sam was in no mood to talk and was startled a little when the small girl sat down at her table. She eyed the girl in a mean way, but that did not seem to phase the freak as it did anyone else who knew Sam Puckett. Most people would have left right then, but not this strange girl._

"_Yeah, I'm ok…so…shouldn't you get to work or something?" Sam snapped._

_Amber looked at her watch, "Nope, break time. So, Samantha Puckett, what brings you here and you sure you are ok? You look like you have been crying and I am a good listener if you need to talk. My mother always said that emptying your heart to a stranger can make you feel better. And even if we go to the same school we are really strangers you know?"_

_Sam was getting angrier, "Well tell you mother she should start minding her own business! I do not want to talk to anyone especially a freak like you."_

_Amber smiled as if the words did not bother her, "I would love to tell my mother that, Samantha, but she died four year ago in a car accident along with my dad, so that would be impossible." The girl said matter of factly with no anger or sadness in her voice, but when Sam looked up she briefly saw the sparkle go out in the girl's eyes and then it came back. Sam felt a little remorse over her words. _

"_You know, Amber…I'm sorry about your mom and dad, really I am, but we all got problems so fuck off and leave me alone."_

"_Yeah me too…being sorry about my parents, not the fucking off thing…they were pretty cool for parents. I live with my older brother now, but he isn't home much since he works on oil rigs. He is in Alaska right now and this summer he's going to Australia for a year or two…pretty cool huh? I sometimes wish he would stay home 'cause it gets lonely at times but he sends me money for the bills and stuff and with my job here I get by very nice. I may quite my job through for the summer. Girls gotta have some fun don't you think?" Amber went on still ignoring Sam's go jump off a cliff and die look._

_Sam was glaring at the strange girl when she looked at her watch again and jumped up, "Well breaks over. Nice talking to you Samantha Puckett…and remember what I told you. If you need to talk just find me in school. I would like that…for you to find me in school."_

_Sam watched the girl walk away with her pony tail bouncing happily. She had two thoughts running in her mind…what a fucking freak and damn that girls got a cute ass._

_Two and a half weeks later Sam and Amber were dating and a month after that they were living together in Sam's mother house._

Sam was brought back to the present when the coffee pot stopped dripping. She poured herself a cup of coffee and mixed in some cream and sat at the table while she waited for Amber to get dressed and cook them some breakfast. Sam was not opposed to cooking but did not for two reasons. One being she was a terrible cook and Amber was an awesome one and the second being it was Amber's job. She cooked the food when they ate together and kept the house clean. Sam's thoughts drifted to her sexy girlfriend.

They had been dating ever since last term of school last year and the relationship was a good one for both of them, even if some people would say it was unhealthy. Sam was a dominant lover and Amber was a submissive one so they clicked very well sexually. Sam also like the fact Amber was submissive in other ways, like she enjoyed cleaning the house for them and enjoyed waiting on Sam like a servant at home and sometimes at school. Sam at first thought it was strange, but later she started to enjoy it and got a thrill out of the other girl doing things for her. If Sam wanted her finger nails painted or her toe nails, Amber would do it. If Sam wanted a drink all she had to do was tell Amber to get it and the girl was more than pleased to do so. Sam needed clothes washed, Amber would wash them. Amber never complained…about that. Not that the girl was a door mat. If she got mad, which was rarely, she would argue her point and even won on occasions. There arguments did not last long, but sometimes they could be brutal. Amber was not a nag or a whiney girl (unless she was trying to be on purpose to either seduce Sam or get under her skin) but when she was mad about something she let Sam know. Sam on the other hand had a mean temper. There were occasion when she struck out physically at Amber and slapped the girl who would then lock herself in the bedroom for an hour or so and cry before she came out. It did not happen much especially after Amber learned to read her girlfriend's moods, but it did happen. Sam felt terrible afterwards when her temper cooled down but Amber would tell her it was ok and to forget about it. Amber always spoke her own mind and had her on views on life which often disagreed with her own. No Amber was not a door mat but loved being submissive to Sam. Sam at one time compared her girlfriend to June Cleaver…well except her looks…in the way she waited on her and did things for her. Their relationship at home was like a 1950's happy couple household. Sam enjoyed it. She never had anyone take care of her like that…well Carly did to an extent.

The two girls had basically moved in with one another since June. Amber's brother went to work in Australia for a couple of years and he sent her money for the bills and rent. Sam's own mother left in May when she met some man, got married in Vegas, and moved to California. Sam was a little sad; she loved her mother even if the woman was not the best person in the world. But her mother called occasionally and the man she married seemed well off financially since she kept sending her money for rent, bills, and even a good bit of spending cash. As long as social services never found out the two girls were safe and no one was going to tell on them. Amber's bother had a girlfriend locally that would pose as Sam's aunt and guardian when she got into trouble at school, and besides the minor dress code violations Amber _never_ got into trouble. Then there was the sex.

Sex with Amber was incredible. There was no other way to explain it. She was just as submissive sexually as she was non-sexually. Her willingness to try new things always kept Sam excited and aroused. During there time together they experimented in a variety of sexual activities that ranged from love making, role playing games, bondage, punishment, pain, and even more kinkier things. They discovered what they liked and what they disliked (which was not much) and agreed on limits and to respect each others dislikes. Sam found out Amber had very few things she was not willing to do sexually and she found out she herself was very dominant and enjoyed inflicted some pain on the other girl on occasions. They had a very fulfilled sex life and non sex life. Sam cared for Amber and even admitted she loved the girl to an extent, but something always got in the way of her falling completely in love with her and that thing was her feelings for Carly. Sam still loved her one time best friend even now with they way Carly treated her. She tried to hide it from Amber, but she knew the other girl could read her feelings and moods. Amber never brought the subject up, which suited Sam fine. She really did care for Amber and hated to hurt her feelings. The blonde just buried her feeling deep down for Carly along with all the heartaches she suffered.

Sam's thoughts were interrupted by a kiss on the back of her head.

"What's up, lover? Glad to see the coffee's ready." Amber said cheerfully as she walked to the cabinets and pulled out a fry pan. Sam looked up and could not help but smile. Amber was one of the most cheerful carefree people she had ever met. Not much bothered the Goth girl. She noticed the girl's clothes.

"You are actually going to wear that today?" Sam asked.

Amber twirled around twice in a graceful pirouette with two eggs in her hand. Sam always did appreciate the girl's past ballet and gymnastic experience. Amber's mother was a very old fashion southern lady from Georgia and before she died she had Amber taking ballet, gymnastics, and etiquette classes and it showed with the girl's perfect mannerisms and grace.

"Show off." Sam teased.

"Ummm, I remember you liked it when I _showed off_ my flexibility last night. I think you enjoyed it very much. Now what about my clothes, you don't like the outfit?" Amber answered with a teasing smile.

Sam sighed, "Yeah you look hot, but to school? Going a little overboard today, don't ya think? And if you get another dress code violation you will get detention and maybe even a suspension. They carry over from last year, trust me on that one, I know."

Amber smiled and stuck out her tongue, "Wow you of all people worried about me getting detention. How many did you get last year?" She turned around and cracked the eggs in a mixing bowl, "And I would dearly hope you are going to change clothes before we go to school. Gesh, I sure wish you would let me pick out your clothes." Amber started scrambling the eggs with a whisk.

"What is wrong about the clothes I have on?" Sam said as she looked at her khaki cargo shorts, which came past her knees, and her plain blue tee shirt."

Amber turned back around and smiled seductively, "Oh, nothing, dear, but I would think you would have wanted to look your best on your first day of school and when you see Carly again." The Goth turned back to the counter with an evil grin. _Oh how I fucking hate Carly Shay_, she thought as she poured the eggs in the hot pan and began to scramble them. She closed her eyes tight and waited for the explosion of anger from her girl friend that she knew was going to happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The First Day of the New School Year

Amber waited with her eyes closed and her jaw clinched tight while she prepared the scrambled eggs in the frying pan. She waited for the yelling to start. Her girlfriend Samantha Puckett would be yelling at her soon due to her comment she just made about Sam seeing Carly on their first day of school. There was a lot of history between the two and a friendship that turned very sour last spring. So Amber waited and she did not have to wait long.

"What the fuck does that mean!" Sam yelled from her sitting position at the table. "Why should I care what that stuck up bitch thanks of me or how I look?"

Amber opened her eyes and saw the eggs were ready, just the way Sam liked them – a little runny, so she poured the eggs onto the two plates and grabbed the two pieces of toast from the toaster and started to spread butter on them. She purposely ignored Sam and started singing softly a tune from one of her favorite songs – "Bathwater" by No Doubt.

_I like to wash in your old bathwater, Love to think you couldn't love another. I can't help it you're my kind woman. Haunted and adored by attractive women. Bountiful selection at your discretion, I know I'm diving into my own destruction. So why do I choose girls that are naughty? I don't fit in so why do you want me? And I know I can't tame you…but I just keep trying. 'Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater, Love to think you couldn't love another. I can't help it you're my kind of woman._

"Well, Amber, answer me and don't play your fucking games this morning! I'm in no mood!"

Amber turned around holding a piece of toast in one hand and a knife with butter on it in the other. Her normally pale face was red with anger but she had a calm sound in her voice even if her eyes flashed with anger.

"Yeah, you made it clear this morning you were not in the mood and, Samantha; I have no idea what you mean by 'games'. The only game I wanted to play was in bed this morning and you declined that, so I have no idea what you are talking about. All I said was…" She stopped when Sam stood up and quickly walked over to her. Sam grabbed the girl's left arm, making her drop the knife, and gripped it hard. She squeezed and saw the anger in Amber's eyes turn to fright as the girls face twisted in pain.

"Owww…Sam…Samantha…your hurting me…let me go…owww…stop! I…I'm sorry…I only meant that y…you have not seen her or…owww…or talked to her all summer and…owww…stop…please…stop twisting…it hurts…I…I'm sorry." Amber pleaded as the pain in her arm got worse when the other girl twisted it more and more when she tried to apologize. It always surprised her how strong Sam was for her size as the girl gripped her arm tighter and twisted. Her eyes got watery due to the pain as she looked up at her girlfriend. Sam gave one more hard twist and let go.

"I'm not hungry anymore…I'm going outside to smoke so clean this shit up! We are leaving in about ten minutes. I need to stop by an ATM to get money for school shit and lunch. And how many times have I told you not to call me Samantha? How fucking many? I go by Sam!" Sam screamed at her girlfriend as she stormed from the kitchen.

Amber stood there with a scared look on her face but her eyes still blazed with anger. She glanced at her arm and saw Sam's fingerprints imprinted red on her arm. _Maybe they want bruise,_ she thought and bent down and picked up the knife. She cleaned the kitchen, being no longer hungry herself. _Yeah I pushed Sam…Samantha too hard this morning. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes,_ she thought while putting the dishes in the dish washer. She also called Sam by her full name ever since they officially met. Sam corrected her often when they first started dating, but it did not so any good and finally the blonde gave up and accepted it. Truth was she liked it when her girlfriend called her by her full name. Now the only time she corrected it was when she was mad. Amber knew Sam would get mad when she made the Carly comment and she did do it on purpose. But she should have known not to mention Carly to Sam. The girl still was hurt by the ending of that friendship. Amber understood hurt Sam felt about losing someone who she thought was to her for so long and who would accept her for who she was, which Carly obviously was not. That hurt Sam and it was one of the reasons why Amber hated Carly. The other being she was jealous of Carly and Sam's feelings for her. But that did not stop her from wanting her to get a feel for how her girlfriend still had feelings about Carly…and now she knew_. Fuck you Carly Shay…I will not let you take her away from me!_ She thought as she picked up her purse and went to meet Sam outside singing the song again.

Sam was smoking and thinking of Amber's comment about Carly. She did have a nervous feeling in her stomach when she thought of seeing Carly at school. _Chances are I will not even see her today_, Sam thought and her stomach did a flip at the thought of _not_ seeing her. _I mean hell we are not going to be in the same classes. She takes those advance ones like Amber does. So Amber would see her before me…oh that would be fucking great…her and Amber in the same class. So maybe I won't see her today…'course she will be at assembly in her uniform cheering with her new friends in front of the school, but I could skip out on assembly. But…I want to see her if it is just to see if she still hates me for being gay. But could I take that? Could I take more rejection from her? And then there is Amber. God…I do care about her so much and yeah I love her. She is the perfect girlfriend and all I ever do is hurt her. I can see it in her eyes whenever Carly's name comes up. But…I want to see Carly…I need to know if I still feel the same way or if it is gone. I need to see if she still hates me. I need closure!_ Sam confused thoughts ran through her mind when she heard the front door shut. She looked up and saw Amber walking to her and the car. The girl was still rubbing her arm. Guilt ran through Sam's body. Guilt about the physical and emotional pain she sometimes caused her girlfriend. She tossed the cigarette to the ground and smiled at Amber.

"Hey, babe, ready to go?" She asked and Amber just nodded and walked to the passenger side of the car. The car was actually Amber's…well her bother's…and both girls loved the 1973 red Volkswagen Karmann Ghia Convertible. So cool and everyone thought both girls looked hot when they cruised in it. The car was old but in wonderful shape, her bother restored it completely and it looked new. Amber's bother gave it to her to take care of while he was gone, along with threats of death if anything happened to it. Amber tried to walk around the car, but Sam stepped in front of her.

"Amber…I'm sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. I just…I just did not like what you said about the Carly thing. I could care less if I see her today. I really…"

"You know, Samantha," Amber interrupted, "lying does not suit you at all. Its fine lets just go." The Goth girl sidestepped Sam and felt herself being pulled back by her arm, this time her girlfriend's grip was gentle. Sam turned her around and leaned in for a kiss only for Amber to turn her head.

"Yuck, you smell like cigarettes." She said and pulled herself lose and got into the car. She glanced at Sam when the other girl got in and slammed the driver side door shut hard. Amber saw the look in the blonde's eyes. She knew that look and knew not to press the issue, _but damn it! She is not getting off that easy this time_, Amber thought as Sam started the car and pulled out of the parking space. They drove in silence for about ten minutes when Amber stopped playing with the CD player. She knew it annoyed Sam when she kept changing CD's so she was doing it on purpose.

"You should quit, you know. It's bad for you and tastes awful when I kiss you." Amber broke the silence, but still would not look at her girlfriend. She kept her eyes on the road in front of her.

"What…oh yeah…the smoking thing, so does that mean you actually care about my health which means you care about me." Sam smirked.

"God…you are so impossible sometimes, you know that? Of course I care about you." Amber turned her head to face Sam. "When will you get it through your thick skull I love you, Samantha! I love you more than…more than I can express sometimes! You just don't talk about certain things to me and it bothers me! You close up and shut me out and that hurts. You have no idea how much do you? You have no idea how I feel when you shut down emotionally on me! It hurts Samantha, it hurts a great deal. And when you lie to me about wanting to see that bitch…I…ohhhh…just fuck it!"

Sam whipped the car into a parking lot and slammed on the breaks. She put the car in neutral and pulled the emergency brake up hard. She turned to Amber and her eyes were blazing with such fury that the other girl pressed herself against the passenger side door in fear.

"'Fuck it', well you must be mad to use such language. For a girl that hates to curse you have been doing it a lot today!" Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her anger calmed and she reached for Amber's hand. The other girl flinched at first and then allowed Sam to take her hand in hers.

"Amber, I know you love me and you express it very well…or you did last night…," Amber ignored her attempt at humor, "and yeah I was pissed about the Carly thing and you know I…I…what do you want from me, Amber? What is it I am supposed to do to show you I do love you? Tell me that! We basically live together; we have set up house together! Do you think I do that for just anyone? C..Carly hurt me Amber…don't look at me like that…I meant she hurt me as a friend. I thought she would accept me for who I am and she didn't. That fucking hurt! And you know that and you knew that before we started dating. I wish you would stop acting like this is the first you ever heard about my past with Carly!" Sam exclaimed. While she yelled it was not anger, but more pleading. Amber was shocked with the tone of her girlfriend's voice. Sam Puckett never pleaded.

"I know you love me, Samantha, but sometimes I am afraid I will lose you. There I said it! I am scared Samantha, scared that one day you will not love me the way I love you." Amber started to cry, "Samantha…can't you see that? You say you know how much I love you, but do you really? I don't…I don't want to lose you Samantha Puckett and the thought that I will scares me. I…I'm afraid that _person_ will come back in your life and you won't…need me anymore. Even if she comes back in your life as a friend you won't need me to…to be there for you and…" Amber started crying more and put her hands to her face. She felt her body being pulled forward and when she dropped her hands her lips were crushed by Sam's.

After a long passionate kiss, Sam broke from her girlfriend and smiled. Amber snuggled her head into Sam's neck and let out a small moan. "I'll make a deal with you. If we see her today I will not talk to her…first. If she tries to talk to me then I will see where we stand." Sam whispered on her ear.

Amber pulled back and bit her lower lip. "Promise?"

"Yeah, silly, I promise. Now I need to run to the ATM. You umm…may want to check your makeup. It ran and you look like a raccoon." Sam laughed.

"Ohhhh…it's your fault you know. If you were a better girlfriend I would not have to have these crying fits. And tomorrow I am picking your clothes for school and you are wearing makeup." Amber said with a mischievous smile on her lips. Sam very rarely wore makeup and it suited her. Amber thought she really did not need any; she just had a naturally pretty face and good complexion.

"God, talk about being impossible." Sam said with a smile and got out of the car.

"I love you, Samantha Puckett, a great deal and I do love to wash in your old bathwater." Amber whispered as she watched her girlfriend walk to the ATM. She pulled down the vanity mirror and sighed. The Goth then pulled her purse from the floor of the car and pulled out her makeup and some tissue. When Sam got back in the car Amber was looking as good as she did when they left the house. Amber looked at Sam.

"So…am I presentable now?" She asked and Sam chuckled.

"You are such a girl…but yeah you look great...as usual." Sam always teased Amber about being such a girlie girl. Sam teased her, but she liked it. She liked that Amber was articulate when it came to her makeup and the way she dressed. The only time Sam ever so her wear pants was when she was working at that coffee shop. Amber said she detested wearing pants. Sam like the girls mannerisms, she was very lady like even when she did the little things like sitting down. Not that Amber was a girl obsessed with her looks; she was not in the least. She just had class and style and Sam liked that about her.

Amber smiled, "Well, Samantha Puckett, it would do you good to be more girlie you know." Sam laughed aloud. The two girls made small talk about the up coming school year as they rode to school.

Amber and Sam were standing (well Sam kneeling and Amber standing) by Sam's locker, Amber's was down the hall a little, and Sam was shoving her back pack in the locker with little success. She was vaguely listening to Amber who was rattling on and on about her class schedule. Sam thought it strange for someone who was teased and at time cruelly tormented all through high school and called a freak since her freshman year, Amber loved school. She was smart, very smart, and would have been the class valedictorian but of course with school politics involved and considering the popular kids and even a good bit if the faculty thought she was a freak, a couple of teachers last year gave her a "A-'s" last year so her grade point average would drop and Misty Shepard would most likely be the valedictorian. They did not think it would look good for a Goth girl to give the speech on graduation day. Not that Amber cared since her SAT scores would get her into any school in the country with an academic scholarship. Funny thing was Sam and Amber never talked about college. She knew Amber wanted to go to college but always avoided the subject when it was brought up. Sam knew the reason why, there was no way Sam could go to any of the schools that Amber would be accepted to. Not that Sam was dumb, she wasn't in the least. She just did not care. Her grades did improve a lot the end of last school year, but that was because Amber pushed her and made her study. She hated school but it did feel good to see the teacher's surprised look when she pulled a "B" or an "A" on a test. But she did not see college in her future.

At times she wanted to go so she would not end up like most of her family, barely getting by in life, but she new that was a pipe dream. Even if she had good grades there was no way she could afford it. Sam also knew Amber saw this and it made the Goth girl sad so the subject was avoided. She gave her back pack another shove and tuned Amber back in.

"…and after lunch I have a free period and then that new class. You know, the creative writing one I have been dying to get into. It's college level and the first year they are offering it. It will be great. What about you? What classes do you have? And I swear if you signed up for all fluff classes I am going to kill you. I want you to take at least two advance classes." Amber said and then giggled when Sam's back pack came spilling out of her locker and some of it's contents scattered on the floor. Sam cursed loudly and looked up in time to see Amber wrinkle her nose, which she almost always did when Sam swore. Sam thought it was cute.

"I swear, Samantha, I have no idea why you carry that thing. It's tacky." Amber said with another giggle.

Sam looked up and grinned, "Maybe I have secret things in here I like to carry around. Like some fun sex toys to use on you when I ravish you during your free period. Of course I would have to skip Shop class…don't look at me like that, yeah I'm taking shop but I did sign up for advance English and Geometry. I am going to need your help with those…why I ever let you talk me into those classes…what's wrong, hun?" Sam asked when she saw the embarrassed smile, due to the sex comment, vanish from Amber's face as she looked up the hall.

"Damn, here comes the Queen of Diamonds and her flush gang." Amber said. Sam did not have to look around to see who it was. She knew Amber's nick name for Tiffany Ambrose and the other three cheerleaders she hung out with. These four were the most popular and prettiest (in their minds) girls in school. And worse, one of the flush gang would be Carly Shay. Sam stood up, holding her back pack in one hand and a book in the other. She turned to see the group walking…strutting actually…down the hall and right to them! All four in their skimpy cheerleading uniforms.

Tiffany Ambrose was their leader. She was tall, tan, and beautiful. Her red hair fell straight down past her shoulders. Her body looked perfect under her skimpy cheerleading uniform. Amber thought Tiffany had the best legs in the school. They were long and tan. Not only did Tiffany have the looks and popularity but her father was a very wealthy man. She was a first class bitch! Walking to the leader's right was Maria Famosa.

Maria was very pretty in an exotic way. Her Latino decent showed in her black hair that she wore up in a stylish bun and her brown eyes and natural tan skin. Amber liked to fantasize the girl was the daughter of a Mexican drug lord and one day the whole family would be killed in a drug war. Mean thought, sure it was; but Maria was the cruelest of the group and the one who tormented Amber and her friends the worse. Two years ago Maria pulled a very cruel prank on one of Amber's best Goth friends which humiliated the poor girl in front of half the school. It took her friend two weeks in the IC ward of the hospital and over a year in mental hospital to recover from her suicide attempt. When she was released from the hospital their family moved and Amber never heard from her friend again. Maria never apologized to anyone and was heard making humorous comments about the act. Amber also hated the girl because after the incident Amber was the only one in the school to confront the other girl and got her butt kicked very badly by Maria. To the Goth girl the Mexican drug lord thing was an entertaining fantasy, Maria was Cuban and her family had been almost like royalty there until her great grand parents fled the country when Castro took over.

On Tiffany's left was Keisha Montrose. Of course like the others, Keisha was very pretty and the shortest of the group with the most developed body in the school. Her breasts were large (and for the lucky few who saw and felt them very firm) and her butt was round and tight and her waist thin and fit. When she wore her cheerleading uniform you could see her abs were well defined and rock hard. Keisha prided herself on her body and worked out constantly. She had smooth almost glistening dark brown skin to show her African American heritage and well toned leg and arm muscles. Like Maria, she wore her black hair up in a bun and showed off her long sensual neck. Of the four, Amber thought Keisha was the nicest of the group when she was away from the others. Amber and the beautiful black girl also had a past, something Amber knew that could destroy the girl's world…if anyone believed her. But it was something the Goth would not use. She had too much class. Behind the group and by far the prettiest of the four was Cary Shay.

Tall, lovely, graceful, charming and perfect, Carly walked with them but she did not strut like the rest of the group. Her long thick lovely black hair bounced when she walked. She seemed to glide like a ballroom dancer as she followed her friends. Another thing that set Carly apart from her stuck up friends was the look on her face. Where the others all had a superior look when they glanced at the other students, Carly's look was actually friendly and her smile sincere. Amber thought she seemed out of place with the others. _God, I hate that girl! Why does she have to be so fucking perfect!_ Amber thought and looked back at Carly. There were a number of reasons why she hated Carly, how she hurt Sam when she ended their friendship when Sam told her she was gay, the way she never defended Sam when her stuck up friends teased Sam about her sexual preference, and of course she was extremely jealous of Carly. That was why she hated Carly the most…well the second reason why. The first was the way she hurt Sam. Amber had never been jealous of anyone in her life. Even when she was dating other girls and the occasional boy thrown in, she never got jealous of their friends or even past lovers. But the jealousy she felt for Carly consumed her sometimes and she hated that feeling. She hated being jealous of another girl and she hated Carly for making her feel that way.

Amber also knew from events of last school year when she and Sam started dating, Carly hated her as well. Something that went back to their freshman year, both girls just did not click even back then. Some people have told Amber it was the first time anyone ever heard Carly curse; the day in the cafeteria when the two got into an argument, one that Amber started when she confronted the beautiful brunette on the way she treated Sam, and Carly called her a "Fucking freak whore". The two did not get along at all. Still she may hate the girl, but she had to admit in bitterness, Carly Shay was the most beautiful girl she has ever seen. _And I hate that bitch for that as well,_ Amber thought as the group got closer. She glanced at Sam, who looked back at her, and smiled. Sam just shrugged her shoulders and turned to focus on her locker again. Amber saw the look in Sam's eyes when she saw Carly and the pain she saw made her once more think about how she hated that girl. _The ironic thing is…if Carly would have stayed Sam's friend we would never have a relationship_, she thought briefly. She smiled down at Sam once more and then bent down to help her girlfriend pick up the contents of her back pack.

Amber went to pick up a piece of paper that had spilled out of Sam's pack, it looked like her class schedule, when a small foot wearing blemish free white tennis shoes stepped on the paper. Amber glanced up and saw Maria evilly grinning down at her.

"What's up, dykey?" She asked coldly

"You are standing on my paper. Would you please remove your foot?" Amber answered calmly.

Amber saw Sam stand up out of the corner of her eye and hoped her girlfriend could keep her terrible and well known temper under control. A fight on the first day of school would get her suspended. Amber stood up and the mean cheerleader used the moment to slide the paper with her foot and she picked it up and read over it.

"Ummm…this can't be your class schedule, freak, not enough nerdy classes on it. Let's see…ummm oh look shop class…must be yours Sam. Only trashy girls and dykes take shop. And you fit the bill twice. A trashy dyke." The other cheerleaders laughed, except Amber noticed Carly. She just stood there with a strange look on her face and her eyes on Sam.

"Give me the paper, bitch, or I am going to kick your Cuban ass!" Sam retorted and stepped forward. Amber smiled faintly as she noticed not only Maria but Tiffany and Keisha take half a step back while Carly just stood there. The Goth was somewhat pleased they were afraid of Sam, but she still grabbed Sam's arm and pulled her back. She hated fights.

"Their not worth it, Sam, their not worth getting suspended for," Amber looked at Maria, who was still smiling, "give me the paper Maria and leave us alone."

Tiffany spoke as Maria fanned her face with the schedule, "Ohhh…defending your girlfriend…how sweet. Best be careful, freak, Maria kicked your ass before and she can do it again. You should let Sam do your fighting for you. Hell she dresses like a boy and acts like one and I bet she fights like one too. Umm…tell me, Amber Freak, does she fuck like one as well? Does she have a big fat dick in those shorts? Or does she use a fake on you? No…I bet it is real, I bet she had one surgically attached this summer. Tell me Sam, does that mean you have to use the boy's bathroom now? Can you stand while you piss? I wonder if it is big enough to fill your skanky hole, Amber, or is your cunt still to big to be filled? " The girls laughed again and once again Carly remained silent.

"Tiffany, I am going to kick your fucking ass…let go Amber!" Sam exclaimed and it took both hands and what little strength Amber had to restrain Sam. A small crowd began to gather, which meant a teacher was soon to follow.

Amber, standing in front of Sam and trying to push her back, turned her head to the cheerleaders. "Please, Tiffany, just go…give me her schedule and leave us alone." Amber said with a hint of pleading in her voice.

"Awww…is the baby going to cry now. You know, Amber, I would like to see your cry again. The last time was when Maria was on top of you slamming your head on the cafeteria floor. I always wandered if that got you excited. You got to admit Maria is not like the normal dyke skanks you've fucked. Having a hot girl on you must have been a turn on, huh? Tell you what, lesbo, you get on your knees and say please and you get the schedule back." Again the laughter and this time Cary Shay did smile.

"Amber, don't you dare!" Sam screamed and almost broke loose and would have if another set of hands had not grabbed her and pushed her back into the lockers with a bang.

"What the hell! Sam Puckett, clam down!" It was Jason Miller. He was a senior and star football payer for the school and also Maria Fomosa's boyfriend. Besides that last fact he was a pretty decent guy. Tall, handsome, and very popular; Jason and Amber knew each other since they were like three. Jason's older brother was Amber's older brother's best friend. They even joined the Marines together, but he was killed in Iraq. Patrick (Amber's brother) took his friends death very hard. That was one of the reason's he left the military and worked on the oil rigs. Amber and Jason went way back and played together when they were little and annoyed their older brothers to no end. Jason was actually the first boy Amber had kissed in a passionate way when they were both eleven. They both took it very casual and it only happened that one time and it was never mentioned again. They drifted apart in the high school crowd, but Jason still had a soft spot for Amber remembering their past friendship and was about the only popular kid that never ridiculed her and even defended her at times to his friends. Yeah, he was a pretty decent guy.

Sam struggled to no end and called Jason quite a few names that made Amber winkle her nose in displeasure, but he was way to strong for her. He looked over his shoulder at the other girl's. It was Maria who spoke first.

"Oh, Jason honey, I am so glad you showed up. That dyke bitch there was going to hurt me. All I was going to do was give her back this paper she dropped and she got violent." His girlfriend sounded like she was going to cry.

"You lying, whore, I am going to…ouch that hurt, dude." Sam said as Jason pushed her harder against the locker to restrain her. He turned when he felt a soft touch on his elbow.

"Jason, let her go ok…your hurting her." Amber said softly and with concern in her voice. Jason smiled at her and turned to Sam.

"Ok, Puckett, I'm going to let you go, but you promise not to do anything ok?"

"Ok, Ok…just chill, man." Sam said as Jason let her go. He then grabbed the paper from Maria's hand and gave it back to Amber. Jason turned to Maria.

"Ok, Maria, you go to…and next time I may not be there when Puckett decides to kick your ass, so I would be careful who you call a dyke and who you and your friends decide to pick on." Maria gave him a hard look and turned to her friends in a huff. The Queen and her court were about to leave when Keisha turned to Amber.

"Oh, by the way, dyke freak, you owe us...we'll collect it soon." The black girl said.

Amber smiled, she was afraid of what almost happened but she kept her cool. "Sure, Keisha, fifth period I have Advance World History, stop by. I think _you_ would find it very interesting today. We are going to be studying the Greek Island of Lesbos and the Greek poet Sappho." Keish'a eyes grew wide and then she turned and all four cheerleaders walked away.

No one else understood Amber's pun but her and Keisha. Last school year, Amber got roped into being on the decorating committee for the Homecoming Dance by a friend of hers who had a crush on some boy. Keisha of course was on the committee along with all the other cheerleaders. Amber and Keisha were the only two working on the archway decoration one night away from the others. Keisha ignored the Goth girl even when Amber tried to make friendly conversation, but she kept glancing at Amber in a way the Goth found curious. They were done and saw it was late and no one else was in the gym. To Amber's shock, the beautiful black cheerleader grabbed her by the hand and dragged her into the girl's locker room without a word except "Follow me". Once in the locker room Keisha kissed her and Amber responded and after a short period Keisha ended up naked on her back, her toned legs spread wide, and laying on a tumble matt with Amber half dressed and her head between the smooth black well toned thighs. Amber licked and sucked the girl's pussy and clit and even rimmed her ass while Keisha held the Goth's head tight by her hair and screamed over and over and called Amber names like whore and bitch and slut. Keisha came with what Amber knew was a powerful orgasm and then when her pleasure slated she jumped up, got dressed quickly, and told Amber if she ever breathed a word about what happened to anyone she would kill the "freak". Amber had no intention of telling anyone, she did not kiss and tell. Keisha called Amber a dyke and ran from the locker room. Amber was disappointed the black girl did not even have the courtesy to return the favor and allow her to cum. Amber never told anyone what had happened. She did not think Keisha was gay or bi, but just experimenting and then got ashamed she enjoyed it.

Amber turned to Jason, "Thanks, Jason…that was about to get out of hand."

Jason looked over Amber with a smile and then at Sam. "You, know dude, I could have taken care of it. I didn't need your help!" Sam said harshly and kicked her locker.

"Yeah I know, Puckett. You could have kicked all three of their butts one on one, but I was worried about Amber not you. While you were beating Tiffany, Maria would have been beating Amber. She has something against you, Amber, ever since last year with the Kim thing. Well, I gotta go…she is going to be pissed and I am going to need all my manly charm to get her to forgive me." Jason turned to leave.

"Hey, Jason, why do you like her?" Amber asked, "She is such a mean bitch."

Jason smiled, "She's not that bad Amber…really. She just hates you for some reason. She never got over last year when you and her got into that fight and she holds a grudge."

"I don't see why she can't get over it; I mean she was kicking my ass before it was broken up. She clearly won."

Jason laughed, "Yeah, but some kids still call her pasta girl and remember when they sent her photo all over the school with her head draped with noodles. She won't forget that and feels she still owes you. Just be careful with her ok, Amber. Sam and I won't always be there. Don't give her an excuse or taunt her." Jason nodded his head to Sam and walked after his girlfriend.

"He's pretty cool and you should listen to him, Amber. We won't have many classes together this year and if you see that bitch walking down the hall step to the other side and avoid her. And don't let that mouth of your get out of hand. Sometimes it can get you into trouble." Sam said as she finally got her pack in her locker.

Amber smiled at her girlfriend, "Yes, dear, I promise." She teased with a flirtatious smile. "Umm…did you get any closure with Carly…I mean she just damn stood there! I cannot believe she did not say anything!" Amber said, her anger rising.

Sam's eyes blazed with anger as she looked at Amber, "Not now, Amber…but yeah I think I had some questions answered today. She made it clear in her silence how she felt." Sam's eyes softened into sadness and she looked at her feet, "I guess…guess I did not mean anything to her after all." She whispered. She looked up and smiled when Amber placed her hand in hers and squeezed softly.

"Come…we don't want to be late to homeroom." Sam said and the two were about to walk to class when she heard Amber cry out, "Damn!"

"What's wrong?" Sam asked with a little concern in her voice and turned to Amber, who had stopped in the middle of the hallway. She was looking at her hand.

Amber looked up and smiled with a blush, "I…I broke a nail." She said in an almost whisper.

Sam laughed, "God, you are such a priss. Come on, babe." The girls walked to class with smiles on their faces.

_**The song Amber was humming is named Bathwater by No Doubt. If you do not know the song, look it up and listen to it. Good song about the way Amber feels about Sam and their relationship**_**. **_**The phrase 'Love to wash in your old bathwater' is meant to mean accepting a lovers faults. It is one of my favs. Of course Amber changed 'Man' to 'Woman' to suit her needs**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Lunch Time and Free Period

Amber and Sam were walking to lunch on the sidewalk to "Dingo's". Being seniors they were allowed off campus for lunch and were on there way to one of the two diners the seniors from school all went, along with some of the underclass students who would sneak off campus, and some of the students at the local community college. "Dingo's" was one and across the street was "The Whistler". Both were identical and copied after the old fashion drive inns of the 50's and 60's. Students could hang out in their cars and eat, go inside, or eat at the tables outdoors. There was no competition from the eateries since they were owned by the same person. The only difference was the name and the crowd's that hung out there. "Dingo's" was a popular place for the freaks; the Goths, pot heads, skaters, and the nerds and "The Whistler" was for the jocks and popular kids. The diners were also hangouts on the weekends for the kids as well and after local high school sporting events the two places were packed with students.

Amber was once again talking about her classes and she knew Sam was only half listening to her, but it did not bother the Goth in the least. She knew Sam would listen to her if it was important. A black sports car slowed next to them and a couple of boys called out from the car some obscene comments about what they would like to do sexually to Amber and made rude comments about the way she was dressed and asking how much she charged for a blowjob. She ignored them, but Sam let out a string of curses as they drove away. The Goth was getting comments like that all morning due to her dress and she started to think maybe her choice of clothes did go a little overboard. She had to borrow a cute short light leather jacket from a friend to cover her bare shoulders which luckily was black and matched her outfit.

"What are you going to do during your free period?" Sam asked as they walked and she reached out and took Amber's hand in hers.

"Umm…I thought I would check out the photo lab. I heard they have some new digital cameras for the photography club to use his year. Oh…I was also going to develop that film of our _camping trip_ this summer." Sam chuckled at the way Amber said "camping trip", she said it as if she was comparing it to a root canal. It was fun and both had a good time, but Sam discovered Amber was not a very outdoors type person. She did not complain…much…but Sam could tell she would have rather been somewhere else. Sam had a blast and watching Amber struggle in the outdoors was very humorous.

"I thought we used the digital camera? I mean…I would be careful not to let anyone see some of the pictures we took." Sam said with a grin.

"Ohhh…Not those, Samantha. God, I cannot believe I let you take those pictures of me and the way you made me pose. And the one of me tied to that tree, God I must have been delirious due to all that fresh outdoor air and that _grand _nature you kept reminding me of on the awful trip...but yes those were with the digital camera. I was talking about the other ones…of the sights and stuff. I got some real good black and white shots."

Sam was still in the mood to tease her girlfriend, "I bet they are nice, but I much prefer the other ones. And if I remember correctly you enjoyed being tied to the tree and the things I did to you while you were tied up. I still remember you begging me to do all those perverted things to you." Sam grinned when Amber blushed.

"You are terrible…and for your information being tied to that tree was just oh so _wonderful_! The bark scratching my back, the bugs biting me everywhere including very personal places…yeah a _wonderful_ experience."

Sam laughed, "You know Miss. Prissy, We umm…could skip lunch and you have that free period this afternoon. I know some things we could do." She ended with a seductive grin.

"Oh no, Samantha, I'm hungry…if you remember we skipped breakfast…totally your fault by the way…plus you have class after lunch."

"Yeah I know, but I'm horny." Sam replied.

"Too bad. I gave you a chance this morning so you are going to have to wait until tonight when we get home…Ouch!" Amber yelped as Sam pinched her butt affectionately.

"Tease! Dressed like that and you expect me to keep my hands off you." Sam said with a grin and kissed Amber's cheek. Amber smiled and looked at Sam with love sparking in her green eyes.

They broke apart when someone wedged between them and both girls felt an arm drape over their shoulder. They jumped in surprise and saw Freddie Benson smiling at them.

"What's up, girls? Did the two ladies have a good summer?" He asked has Sam tossed his arm off her shoulder.

Amber did not know Freddie well, and of course not as well as Sam did. He was a longtime friend of Carly and Sam. Sam always teased him and played pranks on Freddie and claimed she did not like him much, but Amber knew she did not mean it. She had affection for the boy even if she refused to show it. Freddie changed a lot over the summer. He looked as if he had a growth spurt and seemed to have been working out. His arms appeared to be muscular. Amber thought he was cute and nice. Besides the physical change, Freddie had changed in other ways as well. Last spring he decided to try out for the baseball team and not only did he make the team, but he was the starting shortstop and star player. Freddie was good…well great actually. He already had scouts from colleges looking at him and was planning on going to USC on a scholarship. That gave the boy confidence her never had before. He was popular and girls soon started flirting with him and wanting to date him. The problem was the girl her choose. His girlfriend was none other than the Queen of Diamonds, Tiffany Ambrose. Besides that Amber liked him a lot. He showed a lot of loyalty and class when he remained Sam's friend when she told him she was gay. He joked that he already knew, but then became serious and told her it did not bother him in the least. He was even a little mad about Carly's reaction, but still remained her friend and they hung out in the same click.

"Yeah it was fine, thank you for asking, Freddie." Amber replied without removing his arm.

Sam on the other hand was not as friendly, "Yeah great…I going to tell you Benson, you had better keep your girlfriend in check this year or I am going to kick her ass."

Freddie stopped and the girl's followed suit. "Sam, cool down. You know I can not let you do that…what did she do to get you all upset anyway…besides the normal things."

Amber looked at Sam and answered, "Oh nothing…we just had a clash with her this morning. You know Sam, Freddie, she'll cool down later. So how was your summer?"

The three walked to the diners as Freddie explained her had baseball camp and they made small talk about their summer break. By the time they reached "Dingo's" and "The Whistler" Sam had cooled down and she was teasing Freddie and he was teasing her back. They parted ways as Freddie made his way across the street to his peers. When he got halfway across the street Sam called out.

"Hey, Benson!" She yelled and Freddie turned. "It _really_ is good to see you!" She said with a smile.

"You too, Puckett!" He replied with a grin and a wink.

"I like him." Amber said as the two girls made their way through the "Dingo" parking lot and were waving and greeting people they knew or who called to them.

"Yeah, me too…but he's still a dork." Sam said with a laugh.

They were sitting outside at a table by themselves and were greeting friends who came by to say hello and ask about their summer and make small talk. Most of the people were Amber's friends since Sam's former friends hung out across the street, but Sam liked Amber's friends. They were a lot more accepting than the other clicks and while a lot were nerds and more into the Goth lifestyle than Amber was, the were really ok and accepted her as if they knew her as they knew Amber. Most of the skater kids she knew since she hung out with them in the past and she even smoked up with them on occasion when Amber was not around. Amber was not a prude by any means and did not hen peck, but she frowned on the drug use and drinking of alcohol. Sam did not like to drink, but she did enjoy smoking pot on occasion.

"How can you eat all that and not gain any weight?" Amber asked as Sam as she took a bite out of a very greasy cheeseburger and washed it down with a chocolate shake. "And watch your foot…Ohhhh, Goddd….Samantha, Stop!" Amber's eyes popped open in delight and surprise. Sam had removed her shoe from her right foot and used it to pry Amber's legs apart and was slowly inching her foot up her girlfriend's thigh. When she got it between her legs she pressed her toe expertly against the girl's clit through her sexy white cotton panties. Amber was lost in the pleasure for about three seconds when she realized where they were and when she screamed out in ecstasy. She was blushing as every one glanced out their table when she screamed the blonde girl's name.

"Ohhh…you are so evil and perverted." Amber scolded her girlfriend but had a large smile on her face.

Sam chuckled and slipped her foot back in her shoe. "Told you I was horny, and like you ever complain about me being perverted…I can name quite a few things you beg me to do to you when we fuck…let's see one: you love it when I tie you up, two: you really love it when I spank you with the riding crop, three: when I gag you your pussy gets soooo wet, four: When I use the strap on you, you get around to begging me to fuck you're a…"

"Ok…ok…stop it! And _'when we fuck'_, is that what it is, how about when we make love or at least when we have sex…you don't have to be so crude. And one day you are going to get big and overweight from eating all that junk food! Right now you don't gain weight eating like a pig, but one day, my dear Samantha, it will catch up with you." Amber said using her fork to point at Sam's food. Sam chuckled because Amber was blushing so much her whole body was flushed pink.

"You wouldn't leave me would you, if I got as big as a cow?" Sam pouted mockingly at her girlfriend, "And look who is talking? You are eating rabbit food right now, but I have seen you eat and eat and you never gain weight either. What do you weigh now? One hundred pounds soaking wet?" Sam said and took another bite of her burger with relish. Both girls laughed.

"God…I try to teach you table manners and by the way…I weigh one hundred and _two_ pounds! I like to be healthy and eat right and..." Amber stopped when she saw Sam looking past her. Amber turned and dropped her plastic fork in the ground. Standing behind her was Carly Shay.

"She could always eat like that and never gain an ounce. I always envied her for that." The girl said with a smile.

_Oh yeah…even her fucking voice is perfect!_ _God I hate that girl!_ Amber thought as she turned back to read the look on her girlfriend's face. It was blank and void of emotion.

"Umm…Sam, could I talk to you?" Carly asked but was looking at Amber. Amber patted the chair next to her and smiled, which did not fool anyone, they could tell it was fake.

"Sure, Carly, have a seat and talk." Carly looked at the Goth and her beautiful dark eyes glared with anger.

"I was hoping to talk to her alone…if you do not mind, Amber." She smiled and it was so perfect Amber hated it. The Goth looked at her girlfriend and silently begged Sam to say no.

"Sure, Carly." Amber's heart sank, "Amber hun, would you get me some more fries." Sam dug into her pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill and handed it to her girlfriend.

"Sure, Samantha honey." Amber smiled pleasantly. She was determined to make an exit with as much class as possible. She delicately wiped patted her mouth with a napkin, stood with the grace of a professional ballerina, gently smoothed out her skirt, and turned to walk away. She took one step and fell to the ground when she tripped over her own feet. She fell on her knees and caught herself with her hands to prevent falling on her face. She heard laughs and chuckles from the other tables, who had been viewing the scene. Boys ogling Carly who looked so beautiful and lovely with the slight breeze gracefully blowing her long black hair and girls possessively clutching their boyfriends' arms. Amber quickly jumped to her feet, brushed herself off and walked red faced to the diner. She cursed herself for always feeling so inferior when she saw Carly. She was the only person that made her wished she looked better. Amber was always confident with her looks, she knew she was cute and people in and out of her click thought she was a hottie, true she wished she had bigger boobs, but over all she liked the way she looked. But around Carly that confidence always vanished. _I fucking hate that bitch_, she thought for the hundredth time that day.

Sam watched her girlfriend walk away with her small sexy butt seductively swishing and looked up at her one time best friend. Carly was clinching her lips together trying not to smile at Amber's exit.

"What did you need, Shay." Sam asked and kicked the chair across from her away from the table. "Have a seat."

"Shay? Well we don't have to be so formal…anyway…I just wanted to hi and…tell you I am sorry about this morning. They were mean to you." Carly said without sitting down.

Sam's eyes flashed in anger. "Don't tell _me_ you are sorry. You should apologize to Amber. It was her that they were picking on the most, as usual. Besides, you really showed me what you think when you just stood there doing nothing!"

"Sam…I…yeah I know. I…it's hard Sam…I mean…well you like her huh? Amber I mean. I heard you and her were shacking up now. Oh yeah, I heard you mom got married. That was cool."

"Yeah, she is happy…my mom. And yes I do like Amber…a lot. And we live together for the most part. She goes home on occasion to get her mail and check on the apartment and stuff. So is that the only reason you came over, to ask about my living arrangements?"

Carly sat down and looked at Sam, "Sam…I…I just wanted to say hello and tell you I was sorry. And also tell Amber to be careful. Maria has it in for her and so does Keisha. They have been talking about doing something to her like a cruel prank or even worse. And…well Sam I never have liked Amber since freshman year, you know that, but I don't want to see her get hurt."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of her, plus you really don't know Amber that well if you think a prank is going to affect her. She is a lot stronger than she looks. She can take care of herself. Hell she had been used to being teased for the past four years. Is that all, Carly?" Sam was actually thrilled Carly came to talk to her. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating, but she was not going to let the girl off easy. She wanted to grab Carly's hands and pull her across the table and hug her and beg for her friend back, but she was too strong for that.

Carly stood and smiled. "Yeah…well…yeah I guess…umm tell Amber I'm sorry about this morning 'k…and…well…I did want to ask one other thing. Do you miss it…doing ICarly I mean? Do you miss the fun we had…on the show, I mean." Right then by the look on Carly's face, Sam knew she was not talking about the show. She was talking about them. Carly was asking if she missed her not that dumb show. Sam's heart felt as if it skipped a beat in happiness. But she was a stubborn girl and after the hurt Carly caused her, Sam was not going to give in.

"Bye, Carly, thanks for stopping by and you owe me nothing. I still think you should tell Amber your sorry yourself."

Carly looked a little sad as she turned and walked away. When she got a little further away she heard Sam call to her. She turned and saw the other girl smile for the first time. "Yeah, Carly…I miss it...I miss it every day!" And Carly knew just as Sam did, they were not talking about the show. Carly smiled her perfect smile and walked away, her step a little lighter than before.

As Carly walked back to her friends she was thinking of the past and Sam in particular. She missed her friend a great deal. She loved Sam at one time…hell she still loves her. Sam was everything to her in the past. The two girls shared so much and were the best of friends. Then that terrible day Sam told her she was gay. Carly admitted she did not handle it well, but Sam never knew why and Carly could never tell her why at first. Then Sam started dating that Amber bitch and Carly would never be able to tell Sam why she reacted the way she did. Carly was shocked when Sam told her and she was mad. She was mad Sam kept it from her not about her being gay. They told one another everything! For Sam to keep something that important from her for even one day was a betrayal to Carly. The there was the other thing. The thing Carly kept from Sam and wanted to tell her but couldn't that day and now it was too late. She thought of that day often and it hurt. She remembered the pain in Sam's face when she told her she could not be her friend. She couldn't count how many times she picked up her phone while in Mexico to call Sam and explain, but she never dialed the number. And then when she came back from vacation to school Sam was hanging with a different crowd and so was Carly. Then Sam started dating Amber and Carly was pissed that of all the girls Sam could date she had to pick Amber St. Clair! _God I hate that bitch_, Carly thought.

Carly and Amber did not get along since freshman year. There was something about them that just did not click. It was one of those things there was no explanation for. Sure she thought Amber was cute…well more than cute, even with her freaky fashion sense and her semi-Goth look Amber was very attractive. A lot of people thought so and even the boys in her click of popular kids would talk about the freak. They would of course make rude and vulgar comments of what they would like to do to the girl sexually and perverted things they were sure Amber enjoyed to do sexually. They all agreed she was a hottie if a nerdy freak with her small petite frame and little sexy ass and the clothes she wears and her smooth alabaster skin and those eyes…_those damn green eyes that would sparkle more brilliantly than the prettiest emerald ever unearthed._ _God I hate her!_ Carly thought again.

She never really hated Amber until the day when she found out Amber was dating Sam. Sure she disliked the girl very much, but never hated her. It was the same day the freak confronted her in the lunchroom about the way she treated Sam after the other girl told her she was gay. Carly lost it and told her to fuck off_. Well, who the hell was she to confront her about her best friend. It was none of the little bitches business! _Carly would have been mad at any girl Sam dated, but of all girls it had to be Amber. And now they were living together and that ate at Carly. She knew it was her fault, she drove Sam away and it was all due to being afraid and a poor choice of words. When she told Sam she could not be her friend, she meant to say…"Sam, I don't want to be _just_ your friend!" And that was where the being afraid came in. She was afraid of what people would say if they knew that she, Carly Shay, one of the most popular girls in school may be gay! They, her and Sam, had just made it into the popular group the previous school year. Sam really did not care but she went where her best friend did and she put up with a lot for Carly. Carly on the other hand really wanted to join the "it" crowd. Sam was shocked a little, but tagged along to support her friend. They had both made it and Carly was happy to be with the popular group and seeing Cary happy made Sam happy.

To her bitterness she envied Amber and her free spirit and the way nothing seemed to affect her. Carly loved Sam more than a friend…at least she was sure she did. She would never know now because Sam was with someone else. Carly dated a few boys but no one serious and she was still a virgin. _Hell even Freddie is getting laid, _she thought. _Maybe I should just get it over with! Troy is real cute and has been asking me out. Maybe I should go out with him and have sex and that be it! _But she knew she would not do that. She wanted to be with the right person even if that person was a girl. But not just any girl. Carly had been naked around the most beautiful girls in the school and saw it all but none of them stirred her the way Sam did. She would masturbate over and over again thinking of Samantha Puckett having sex with her. Recently she thought it was too late with Sam, but Sam's parting words gave her hope that something was still there. _All I have to do now is get that bitch Amber St. Clair out of the way_, Carly thought as she saw her friends wave for her to come over.

"Where you been, Carls?" Freddie asked with knowing eyes.

"Just got held up, Frederick." She said with a dazzling smile but Freddie knew. Not that she had thoughts about Sam in a sexual way, but Carly cried in his arms too many times about Sam and the ended friendship not to know she still cared about Sam and wanted the girl back in her life.

Amber waited until Carly left and walked back to the table where Sam was sitting. "Miss what?" She asked handing her girlfriend her fries.

"Oh…nothing really…she just asked if I missed the show and I said yes…stop giving me that look. That was what she asked and I do. It was dorky but fun and people liked it. You even said you watched it."

Amber smiled, "Sure I did…but I watched it because I was crushing on you something awful back then and I would see it just to see you…acting dorky and ever so cute."

Sam chuckled, "So you _were_ crushing on me back then? Does that mean you aren't crushing on me anymore." She teased. Amber walked over to her, sat in her lap, and kissed her long and passionately for a long time. Both girls moaning in pleasure and ignoring the comments and whistles from the other people as their tongues intertwined in each others mouths. Amber finally broke the kiss. "No, my dear Samantha Puckett, I am not longer crushing on you…I love you with all my heart." She whispered in her lovers ear and got up and sat back down in her chair. Sam was smiling, "I love you too…tease." Amber giggled. "So you are not mad that I spoke to Carly?"

Amber smiled a little, "Well I am not thrilled about it…but we did have a deal. You promised you would not talk to her first and I said I would not get mad if she approached you. And that is what happened."

The walk back to school was pleasant for Amber and Sam. Both girls were happy but for different reasons. Amber was happy that Sam told her what Carly wanted and did not keep it a secret and Sam because Carly admitted to her, in a round about way, that she missed her. When they got back to school they were both on their way to class for Sam and the photography room for Amber. Sam mentioned to her girlfriend about Carly's warning and Amber promised she would avoid the girls and be careful. Truth was she was not worried. They have been tormenting her for four years now and there was nothing new they could do to her.

Amber was in the dark room developing the film and was very pleased with her work so far. Photography was a hobby of hers and she even signed up for the club and to take pictures for the year book. She was just done with the first role and flipped the light on in the room when she felt someone behind her. She could not hear the door open since she was listening to her ipod. Amber tried to turn around when she felt herself pressed against the wall and her earplugs ripped from her ears. A wave of fear washed over her as she felt a hand slide up her skirt.

"Don't move and spread your fucking legs." The voice said and Amber cried out, but not in fear but in relief. She knew her girlfriend's voice.

"S…Samantha…you scared me. You should be in class and…" She was interrupted by her body pressed harder and painfully against the wall. She whimpered in both pain and pleasure and the hand pulled her panties down her legs. The other hand grabbed her arms and pulled them over her head and pinned them to the wall. Amber struggled and whimpered but Sam was to strong.

"I told you to be quite. I also told you I was horny and I am going to get what is mine." Sam whispered in the girl's ear and nipped it with her teeth. Amber let out a squeal and little moan. She loved when Sam was rough with her and treated her like this.

"Sam…Samantha…please not here…what if someone walks in and…ohhhh God…that feels good." Amber let out the moan of pleasure when Sam's fingers found her clit. Sam pressed her body to her girlfriend harder against the wall.

"Ummm…you are so wet…and I thought you were not horny. How do you expect me to stop when you dress like a whore? Spread your legs wider slut…wider! Now I am going to let go of your arms, but do not move them or I will have to spank you." Sam commanded and Amber did as she was told.

Amber moaned again as she felt Sam's finger slid in her wet pussy. She had been sexually aroused on and off all day and developing the pictures of their trip kept reminding her of the kinky things they did on that trip and made her wet. She then felt Sam unbuckle her corset and then her strapless bra. Amber let out another moan of pleasure as the blonde's hand fingered her nipples, which were erect with pleasure.

"Ohhh…God…Samantha…ohhhhh don't stop…please…Owwww, fuck that hurts…owwww…please." Amber whimpered as her moans of pleasure turned into pain as Sam pinched her nipple hard with her nails. The pain made Amber more aroused.

Sam fingered Ambers pussy and clit (pinching the girl's enlarged clit at times) and pinched and fondled her girlfriend's erect nipples. Amber was moaning and whimpering in both pleasure and pain and grinding her self on Sam's hand. She felt her orgasm building.

"Ohhh…God…yes..please Samantha…please more…Harder…pinch them harder…I'm going to cum…ohhh please…" Her pleasure aroused Sam as she then turned Amber around and bite into the other girl's rose colored nipple had and thrust three fingers deep into her pussy. Amber wrapped her arms around Sam and held her tight as her orgasm hit her. She screamed out a long high pitched moan and Sam felt the girl's body tighten against her. She knew Amber was coming and she kept on driving her fingers deep into the girl and biting her nipple hard and with her free hand she pulled Amber's hair back. After a long orgasm, Amber's pleasure slated and she collapsed against her girlfriend, whimpering and crying and whispering how much she loved Sam. Sam always liked it when Amber had a very intense orgasm that made her cry. It made her feel she had power over the other girl. She pulled Ambers head back and kissed the tears of joy off her girlfriends cheeks and stepped back. She pulled down her pants and panties in one motion.

"Now, slut…come over her and get on your knees." Amber smiled and got on her knees and proceeded to please her girlfriend. After a short period of licking Sam's pussy and clit and rimming her ass Sam came with a loud moan and as her body shook in pleasure she pulled Amber closer into her by her hair. Amber kept licking Sam's thighs and pussy and relishing in the taste of her girlfriend. Even after she came, Amber could not get enough. Finally Sam had to pull the girl up by her hair to make her stop. They kissed deep and passionate for a long time and then held one another tight. They were broke apart by the sound of a bell ringing.

"Oh Shit! We are going to be late for our next class. Ohhh, Samantha, I cannot believe you did that! My panties are going to be so wet and sticky and…ohhhh…I don't believe you!" Amber exclaimed and Sam laughed pulling her panties and pants up as she watched her girlfriend scrambled to pick up her clothes and get dressed. Sam was dressed in no time while Amber was struggling with the buckles of her corset. She was having a hard time since her hands and legs were still shaking from pleasure. She looked at Sam with a worried look. She hated to be late for class and this was the new creative writing class she was really looking forward to.

"Well, help me please!" She pleaded and Sam walked to the table and opened Amber's purse and pulled out her compact. She tossed it to her girlfriend causing Amber to drop her bra to catch it.

"Ummm…you may wan to look at yourself before you get to class. I have to go, don't want to be late you know." Sam said, grabbed her books off the table, and walked out the door.

Amber looked at herself in the small mirror, "Samantha Puckett!" Sam heard her scream and laughed.

Amber looked at herself again. Her hair was all disheveled and her makeup ran down her face and her lips her red and a little swollen when Sam bit them in their pleasure. Amber got dressed, pulled out a brush and brushed her hair, she would have to leave it down since she did not have time to pull it back up, and wiped her face as best she could. She applied a little makeup to freshen up and made her way to class in a hurry. Her nipples hurt as she walked quickly to class. They were tender from the pleasurable torture Sam gave them. She giggled as she got to the door. She was fifteen minutes late, but sometimes it was worth it.

She walked in the calls and the first thing she noticed was the teacher. She was sitting on the front edge of her desk and talking to the class. Amber's first reaction was surprise. The teacher was absolutely beautiful. She was African American and had dark black skin that glistened as if oiled. Her hair was black and seemed to shine. She wore it straight, long, and parted in the middle and came just past her shoulders. She turned to Amber and smiled showing perfect white teeth and a fine lovely face with a perfectly shaped nose and high cheek bones.

"And you are?" She asked kindly in a perfect voice.

"Umm…Amber…Amber St. Clair. Sorry I'm late…but umm…well…" Amber stuttered and the teacher just smiled wider.

"Oh, no problem, Ms. St. Clair. First day can be excused. Please just do not make a habit of it and you are excused. No let us see…St Clair…" She glanced at her attendance list, "yes here we are. You will be sitting behind Ms. Shay. We are sitting in alphabetical order…childish I know…but helps me get to know you. Later in the year we can switch around. No where was I…oh yes…what we are going to accomplish this year…" Her voice was tuned out as Amber looked and saw the empty desk behind Carly. Carly looked at her and smiled. It was not a friendly smile but a mocking smile. _God I hate the Alphabet_! Amber thought and wondered why Carly was smirking at her. She looked down and was about to walk to her desk when she saw her knees. She had a run her thigh highs at both her knees and the black stockings were covered in brown dirt from her fall at lunch and gray dust from being on her knees in the photo lab. _Oh, just great! I look like shit and Carly Shay is mocking me! GOD I HATE HER!_


	4. Chapter 4

We have Amber and Carly's POV of the class. I am not thrilled with this chapter, but here it is anyway.

Chapter 3 – In Class with Carly

Amber was so embarrassed with the way she looked. Her stockings had runs in them, her hair looked terrible, and her makeup was not applied to her standards. While Amber did pride herself on trying to look her best it was always for herself and no one else. Amber liked dressing up having perfect make up and well manicured nails and perfect style and she did not do it to impress anyone (well maybe Sam since they have been dating) but for her own satisfaction. She always liked to play dress up since she was like three and her mother would often scold for getting into her makeup and making a mess. As Sam would put it, Amber was a girlie girl and she prided herself on that. So normally she really would not have let it bother her to have others thinking she looked terrible and disheveled, but she had a class with Carly Shay of all people and the beautiful perfect brunette sat in her desk and looking at her with a mocking smile as if to say, _"How can you of all people ever get a girl like Sam Puckett to like you? You are an ugly nerd freak!_" At least that is what Amber thought the smile said.

She walked quickly to her desk and fell to the ground for the second time that day as she tripped over something. The Goth girl scrambled to pick up her books and papers and purse as she heard students laughing at her. Amber glanced up and noticed Carly trying her best not too laugh but her stomach was twitching. Someone handed her, her purse and she turned her head and saw Misty Shepard smiling at her. She mouthed "thank you" and took her purse. Amber stood and hurried to her desk, which was behind Carly and in the very back of the room.

"Mr. Nichols, I know you did not trip Ms. St. Clair on purpose, am I correct?" The teacher said.

"Ummm…no…it was an accident. I was just stretching my legs and the nerd…I mean…Amber…tripped. She's always been clumsy, you know." Troy Nichols said with a cocky smirk and the class, with the exception of Misty, laughed.

Amber always liked Misty even if they did not hang out in the same social click. Misty was mixed Asian and Caucasian and short and dumpy and wore nerdy glasses and while others called her ugly or fat, Amber thought she was just so cute. And Amber loved the girl's real name, Mystery, but everyone called her Misty. The girl was also brilliant. In school her and Amber were really on equal footing, but Amber saw Misty's SAT scores by accident one day and the girl scored a 2350 (almost perfect).

Amber sat down at her desk mortified and blushing deeply. She silently cursed Troy and wondered what he was doing in the class. _He was not the smartest boy in school and as one of the star football players so he gets special treatment. Must be because Carly's in the class…he has the hots for her_. Amber pulled her reading glasses from her purse. She liked the stylish black half frame glasses and thought she looked extremely cute when wearing them. She put them on and pulled them off quickly and examined them. On the right lenses was a large crack through the lenses. They must have cracked when she fell. _Oh just fucking great…what a wonderful afternoon this is turning out to be._ Amber felt tears well up in her eyes as she fought the urge to cry.

She put her damaged glasses back on and shuffled her books and papers back in order as he teacher continued to talk. Ms. Pendleton, the teacher, explained the course of the class and what to expect and what she expected. She gave a little back ground on herself explaining that she was a professor at a university but felt she could be of more use teaching high school students in the public school system. Amber liked that, she thought it was noble for Ms. Pendleton to give up a higher paying job to try and reach younger kids. Ms. Pendleton turned to pick up a book on her desk and Amber could not help notice the teacher's sexy legs and butt as her skirt slipped up and tightened around her butt. She was snapped out of her day dream when the teacher asked them to write a very brief short story about something that happened to them over the summer. She wanted it brief and entertaining and something true. She explained it could be funny or sad and it would not be graded.

Amber opened her purse again and searched for her pen. Some students were already writing or other staring off into space thinking and a few of the boys staring at their beautiful teacher as she sat down behind her desk. Amber rummaged in her purse and could not find her pen. She glanced up and saw it on the floor under Troy's desk. _Oh, just great! I cannot believe this day! _The class she was looking forward to the most was turning into the worst one she ever had. She wanted to run and cry. Amber took a deep breath and tapped Carly on the shoulder.

"Carly…Carly?" She whispered. Carly turned her head and when she did Amber got a whiff of the girl's hair. _Yeah even your damn hair smells perfect_, she thought.

Carly smiled her perfect smile, "What?" She whispered back a little harshly.

"Umm…can…can I borrow a pen. I can't find mine." Amber asked embarrassed.

Carly turned back around and opened her purse and pulled out a black ink pen and handed it over her shoulder to Amber. Amber whispered her thanks and thought about what to write. She thought for a moment and smiled. Amber put her pen to the paper and began to write a humorous story abut her and Sam's camping trip.

She wrote the truth of how out of place she was and the funny things that happened such as how she made the mistake of wearing a cute little brown earthy color skirt and green shirt with adorable stylish brown boots (no hiking boots) with one inch heels (all against Sam's warning). She wrote how Sam warned what to pack and wear and how she ignored her and packed just the cutest casual clothes her had and not those tacky cargo shorts and ugly hiking boots Sam told her to buy. Yeah, Amber brought the clothes but did not pack them and was going to give them to Good Will when she got home. She learned of her mistake after collapsing on the first day of their hike to the camp site and throwing off her pack and pulling off her boots, one of which had a broken heel, and seeing the blisters forming on her feet. She wrote how Sam doctored her sore feet but laughed the whole time and how Sam turned them around and they drove eighty miles to the nearest town and brought Amber clothes and boots more suited to the hiking and camping. Amber asked how far they were to the camp site before they turned around and Sam laughed and told her they had a five mile hike from the car to the campsite and they had walked not quite a mile before they had to go back. To Amber it felt like twenty miles. Amber wrote of other humorous antics on the trip and of course left out the more personal details. The bell rang and Ms. Pendleton told them to leave the papers on her desk as they departed the classroom. Amber quickly wrote the title of her paper at the top of the page, "Miss. Priss goes Camping", and handed Carly her pen back and gathered her belongings and started walking to the front of the class.

She had to stop when Troy stood up quickly in front of her and turned. He was a lot taller than Amber and had to bend down to whisper in her ear.

"I heard from Wynn you like sucking dick as much as you do eating pussy. Care to meet me behind the gym for a quick blowjob? I got twenty bucks for a blowjob and an extra ten if you swallow." The boy sneered.

Amber looked up at him. Troy was tall, well built, and very good looking. But he was stupid and a complete asshole and bully. He got by life on his looks and talent on the football field. His best friend in school was Wynn Phillips who happened to be a boy Amber did have sex with twice last year. Wynn was cute and Amber was crushing on him at the time and even though he was a jock he asked her out and they had sex and he called two weeks later and they had sex again. She found out he only used her to get laid after he found out she liked him. He told all his friends what a freak Amber was sexually and the things she did with him. Most of the things he told everyone they did were not true, not that Amber did not want to do those things she did, but Wynn was too scared to do them. Amber really was not bothered by the rumors (some true and some not true) since she had been dealing with those things for years. And of course she did not care much when he stopped calling since the boy was not very good and was timid in the bedroom. Amber hated timid lovers and that caused her to lose her crush. Well…ok it did hurt a little to find out she was just being used, but she got over it.

After then people really started thinking she was a whore and she thought it a waste of her time to defend herself. They would think that regardless. Amber was not as promiscuous as the rumors claimed. She loved sex, that was true, and she loved kinky sex. But overall she had only been with three girls, who included Sam and that time with Keisha, and three boys which included Wynn. And she had only been in love once and that was with Samantha Puckett.

The first boy she had sex with was sixteen year old named Mitch Mathews when she just turned fifteen and the summer after her freshman year in high school. Mitch was the classic bad boy and sexy as hell or so Amber thought. She dated him for almost the entire summer and had sex with on their second date, it you could call riding in is car and going back to his brother's apartment and getting fucked a date. They had sex a lot during the summer and that lead to Amber's second sexual experience with a boy. It was with an older friend (he was nineteen) of Mitch's and it was with both boys at the same time. Mitch talked her into it and Amber did enjoy it a lot and it only happened that one time. _Damn, maybe I am a whore,_ Amber grinned as she thought of that time. She did enjoy the experience a great deal and had no regrets. Mitch was now in prison for B and B and assault with a deadly weapon. The next boy was Wynn Phillips and that happened last year at the beginning of the school year. It was a crush she had and did not end well and Amber now considered Wynn a waste of her time and she suspected he was a virgin and used her to lose his cherry. The there were the girls.

The first and the person she lost her virginity to when she was thirteen was Dawn Mullins. Dawn was her counselor at a stupid summer camp her brother insisted she go to. It was a special camp to help her cope with her parents' death; her brother felt she was having a hard time dealing with it. Dawn was seventeen and very pretty and a lesbian. Amber spilled her guts to the nice counselor and the counselor ended up using her position and Amber's grief to seduce her. Not that Amber complained. It was wonderful and Dawn taught Amber a great deal over the remaining two weeks of the camp. She taught Amber the thrill and excitement of mixing pain with pleasure. Amber learned through Dawn she was a submissive girl and would need dominant lovers to fulfill her sexually. Then of course that brief tryst with Keisha and then Samantha Puckett. Sam was the first person she loved and the intensity of her love for Sam scared her at times. She was almost obsessed with the girl and her love and that worried her. She wanted a future with Sam, but she also wanted to go to college and that would be hard since in honesty Sam could not go to one of the schools Amber would go to and she felt Sam would not move with her and they would drift apart. Then there was Carly Shay. Amber felt all Carly would have to do is make amends with Sam and Sam would break up with her. They had too much of a past and that terrified the Goth girl. She loved Sam to much to begrudge her girlfriend a chance to be friends with Carly again, but also hated the idea.

Amber stared at Troy and normally she would have had at least ten insulting comments, but her mind was a blank due to the terrible afternoon she started having since she entered this classroom. All she could mutter was, "Troy, please move." Troy smiled down at her and brought his hand up and ran it through her hair. Amber stepped back to avoid the unwanted caress and felt her boot heel step on something and then she was pushed forward into Troy.

"Damn, that hurt. Watch where you are going, freak. God, you are so pathetic." Amber turned and saw Carly glaring down at her and then felt a hand brush her hair. She jerked around and saw Troy leering down at her.

"Come on Carly, don't temp her. As pretty as you are, the little dyke here would rather go down on you instead of me. So what do you say, slut, care to suck me off today?" Troy actually grabbed Amber's arm.

Amber wanted to cry, she actually felt tears once again welling up in her eyes when Carly nudged her and Troy out of the way, "Just move, Troy! God you are such a pig sometimes and I was actually thinking about going out with you this weekend!" Carly walked out of the room and when she got to the door she turned and gave Amber a look of pity that the Goth girl could not understand. Troy let go of Amber and ran after Carly, "Come on Carly…I was only teasing!" When he got to the door he too turned and looked at Amber, "I'll still get you, dyke!" and he ran down the hall after Carly.

Amber stood there breathing hard and trying to hold in her emotions in check as she walked to the door. She always prided herself to role with what ever was thrown her way, to not let the words of others hurt her, and to never hide who she is. But this time it bothered her and it all had to do because Carly Shay was in the same class as her. She knew if it was anyone but Carly who called her a freak or insulted her or saw her with her torn stockings or saw her fall down, she would have laughed it off with no second thought. Amber hated how she felt so inferior to Carly and she was for the first time since she has been dating Sam, she hated they had a past. She got jealous of that past on occasion...a lot of occasions…but she never begrudged Sam her past friendship with Carly…until five minutes ago. "Clair! Ms. St. Clair" Amber snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her name being called and turned to see Ms. Pendleton sitting on her desk with her legs crossed which made her skirt rise up and expose a good portion of her thigh. Amber could not help but stare at the beautiful leg.

"Your paper, Ms. St. Clair, you forgot to turn it in."

"Oh…sorry…I…I got…sorry." Amber replied and walked to the desk and handed her paper to her teacher. Ms. Pendleton took it gently and looked at the girl.

"Amber, are you alright? You seem upset. I…I could not help but over hear some of the things that were said by Ms. Shay and Mr. Nichols. I know it is not my place, but sometimes talking can help. If you like we could chat since I have a free period and I could write you an excuse for you next class."

Amber shook her head, "No, M'am…I'm fine…I…I'm used to it…but thank you anyway." Amber answered and quickly walked from the class. When she got to the door she turned her head and saw Ms. Pendleton watching her. The teacher gave her a smile which made Amber blush as she left the room. She walked down the hall to her next class, gym which she considered a complete waste of her time, and all she wanted to do was find Sam and have her girlfriend hold her whole she cried.

Carly sat in the new class waiting for the bell to ring. She was looking forward to the new Creative Writing course and thought it could help her when she went to college. She was determined to be a journalist in the print media and then advance to television. She was not going to be one of those fluff journalists who got jobs by their looks, but a hard nosed reporter. She would vision herself going to war torn countries and writing stories on the horror of the war. She got a craving for reporting since they did ICarly, not that the web show was reporting it was just fun, but having people listen to what she said gave her the bug. Carly was smart, she knew that, she was probably the third smartest girl in the school, Misty Shepard being first, and that bitch Amber St. Clair second. She had great SAT scores and a lot of extra curricular activities that were not limited to cheerleading. She was the editor of the school paper as well.

Her attention was directed to the front of the class and away from her thoughts and pretending to listen to Troy Nichols bragging and asking her out. The teacher, who introduced herself as Ms. Pendleton was very pretty and young. She looked about twenty five or twenty six. She started to explain the class and expectations when Carly tuned her out.

Carly sat there and her thoughts drifted to Sam and she smiled. She was going to make Sam her friend again and maybe even more. Today was a good start and she mentally kicked herself for being so stubborn over the summer. With the past her and Sam had, all she had to do was tell Sam he truth and they could be together again, but this time in a closer way. She cared too much about Sam to let her go and she was getting tired of trying to fit in and be popular. It was fun and she was having a great time, but it was not worth losing Sam over. She cared way too much for the other girl to let anything stand in her way. And right now that thing in her way was Amber St. Clair. Carly had been racking her brain ever since lunch on how to get Amber out of the way. The girl was just to damn cute and sexy to think Sam would toss her way like yesterdays trash and she was smart. That was a problem; the girl was too intelligent to be manipulated. Also a problem was Amber's free style attitude, something Carly envied in the girl. From the rumors she heard and some she even believed Amber was a freak in more ways than one. She heard stories that the girl liked strange things sexually It was obvious Sam liked the girl and hell she may even love her. Jealousy ran through Carly as she thought of Amber being in Sam's embrace and both girls telling each other how much they loved one another. _I hate her and she is not going to keep Sam away from me!_ Carly thought and her attention was brought back when the classroom door creaked open. It was Amber.

Carly looked over the girl and thought how different she looked right now than at lunch. Her hair was down and appeared to have been hastily brushed, her makeup looked as if it had been applied haphazardly, and her stockings where torn at the knees and dirty. Carly giggled at the last part. The girl looked a little worse for wear. Carly wondered what had happened to her since lunch and then looked at the girl's face as she listened to the teacher telling her where to sit. _She looks like…like she just had sex! That is what Spencer's fiancée looks like right after they do it! Ohhh…I bet her and Sam…Stop, stop it Carly! Don't think like that! God I hate her!_ Carly thought as Amber made her way to her desk, right behind her! Carly tried to get the thought out of her head but all she could picture was Amber's cute face between Sam's sexy legs and Sam screaming in orgasm. Carly's mind then flashed with the two girls hugging and kissing after a blissful experience when she saw Amber fall to the ground and her books and papers and purse spill across the floor. She held her laughter but it was hard to control and her stomach jerked as she chuckled with her mouth closed tight.

As she thought about what to write she heard Amber whisper her name and ask for a pen. Carly, being Carly, gave her one and then focused back to her paper. She thought of what to write as she heard Amber scribbling away behind her. She thought what she did over the summer and it seemed boring. She went to parties and the cheer camp, but none of those things could compare to the fun she had with Sam over the summers and the times they did ICarly. Carly sighed and decided to write about the previous summer, she knew it was not the instructions, but she would make a note about it on the paper. She wrote of how she, Sam, Freddie, Mrs. Benson, and Spencer went to Japan to the web show awards. She had to leave a lot our but she included some of the more humorous antics. She would smile to herself when she thought of the crazy things they did and then sadness would hit her when she thought of Sam. _How damn stupid could I have been to let her go! How much of an idiot was I to allow her to leave like that! I am such a coward! And how I must have hurt her! That is the worst, knowing the pain I caused her! No wonder she jumped into the waiting arms of that evil harpy behind me! She was hurt and needed comfort and that bitch was just waiting there like a spider! Well no more! I am getting you back Sam Puckett and nothing is going to stop me. Especially that whore Amber St. Clair! Now I wish I never would have warned Sam about Maria and Keisha. I should have let those bitches get rid of that whore for me! Oh Sam…God I am so sorry and I am going to make it up to you a hundred times over. I promise you and nothing is ever going to come between us! You have been so dear and precious to me and always there for me when I needed you and I treated you like shit! Never again! _ Carly said in her mind as she waited for the bell to ring. Her paper complete she read over it again and again and felt tears well up in her eyes as she thought of Sam and their past friendship. She also felt hate for Amber build inside her as well and thought of some way she could break the two up. It would be hard since Amber was attractive with her hot little tight body and cute little ass, but Carly had something Amber did not have…Carly had a past with Sam that went back years.

The bell rang and Carly saw Amber quickly get up and make her way to the front of the class only to be stopped by Troy. Carly stood and was making her way to the front of the class when Amber stepped on her foot. It hurt as the heel of the Goth's boot dug into her toe. She cursed the other girl and told Troy he was a pig and stormed from the class room. When she got outside, Carly reached in her purse and pulled her cell phone out and went down her contact list. She saw Sam's name and number and pressed "talk". The phone went straight to voice mail and Carly was glad to see that the girl did not change her cell number.

"Hey, Sam…this it Carly…I…I just wanted to say hi and…well…damn, I don't know what to say…funny huh? Anyway I just wanted to say hi and umm…call me sometime…if you want I mean. I…I would really like that, for you to call me. Call my cell or home. Same home number; I hope you still have it. Well…bye Sam. I…Imissyou!" She hung the phone up quickly. The call made her nervous and excited at the same time.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for no post for a while – been spring break and all and wow did I have a blast! Just went to Naples Florida – classy place and very expensive (I am so broke now) but we had a great time and did a few crazy things that only me, the other people involved and my journal will ever know about!

I like the dialogue between Amber and her friend…I find it cute.

Chapter 4 – Gym Class and the Phone Call

Sam felt her cell phone vibrate in her back pocket while she half asleep in her English class and silently scolded Amber for talking her into taking advances classes. She thought about answering her phone, but by the time she pulled it from her cargo pocket it had stopped vibrating. She glanced at the missed call and did not recognize the number but saw she had a voice mail. She put the phone back in her pocket and went back to her day dreaming as the teacher droned on and on.

Sam's thoughts first drifted to Amber and the sex they had in the photo lab. She felt herself getting aroused as she thought of it and started thinking of what she would do to her girlfriend when they got home from school. Sam smiled to herself as she thought of Amber. Sam did not deny to herself she loved Amber in her way. It was hard not to love the other girl. Amber was very pretty, sweet, had class that Sam only found in one other person before, smart, she could be stubborn at times and emotional; but not a drama queen. Amber was very prissy and girlie (which Sam loved) and very caring. The blonde never met a girl as caring and giving as Amber St. Clair. And then there was the sex.

They sex was incredible and even mind blowing at times. Sam knew she would be hard pressed to find another girlfriend that would allow her to fulfill her strange and sometimes perverse sexual desires with and enjoy it as much as the other girl did. She knew Amber loved that Sam was a dominant lover and did the things she did to her. She liked being tied up and teased to the point of orgasm and then denied the physical release. Sam knew Amber enjoyed the pain she inflicted on her at times, but with limits, and the blonde knew her girlfriend trusted her not to seriously hurt her. She knew that the more forceful and dominant she got, Amber got more aroused. She loved to hear the Goth girl beg and whimper and also knew it turned Amber on a great deal as well. Then there was the times their lovemaking was "normal" and it was no less exciting or fulfilling as the domination/submission sex. There were times when Amber would lay in Sam's arms after a powerful orgasm from making love and cry in joy. Sam loved that as she would kiss and comfort her girlfriend. Sam enjoyed protecting Amber as well.

She loved to protect and take care of Amber and would never let anyone hurt her. She liked the fact Amber looked at her for protection as well. Yeah, she knew Amber could take care of herself, unless it actually came to a physical fight, but the Goth girl looked for Sam to protect her anyway. Sam liked that feeling of being needed by someone else and Amber gave her that. To people who saw their relationship it was Sam who was the one in control and the "butch" girl and Amber as the girlie girl. Most people did not know Amber like Sam did and did not see the part of the girl that Sam did. They did not see Amber's inner strength the way her girlfriend did. They did not see how Amber also protected Sam in other ways. They did not see how Amber pushed Sam to be her best and took care of her. They could not see how Amber could calm Sam down most of the times when her anger got the best of her. They could not see Amber taking care of Sam on an emotional level only one other person ever had. All they saw a "butch" girlfriend and her "lipstick lesbian" trophy (that is what most called the couple).

Not that Sam was a typical "butch lesbian". To others, Sam was a beautiful girl with smoky blue eyes and long curly blonde hair. The time Amber talked her into attending a semi-formal social occasion over the summer and she wore a beautiful ivory cocktail dress, she was flocked by boys begging for her phone number and telling her she was the most beautiful girl at the party, although Sam thought Amber was. Sam just did not care about how she looked to others for the most part. Amber on the other had always tried to look her best, something Sam thought was adorable even when she got frustrated the other girl spent so much time in the bathroom getting ready. Of course her fashion sense and what she thought of as looking "her best" was not the norm for the ever changing style world for teenagers. She liked the Goth look to an extent and the clothes and dark eye make up that the more fashion frenzy girls thought of as freakish. But Sam liked it, it suited her girlfriend. One thing that set Amber apart from a lot of their peers was that she did not spend so much time "dolling" herself up for others but for herself. She actually enjoyed spending the time to look as pretty as she did for herself and not others. Of course Sam always thought the girl was just as beautiful wearing her worn out pink cotton pajamas (which the Goth girl would die if others saw her in) around the house and no makeup and her hair piled haphazardly on top of her head and chewing her pen as she did her homework. Sam chuckled as she thought of the poor girl after they had sex this afternoon and how freaked she would be going to class looking so disheveled. Her girlfriend would never leave the house without at least a sundress and makeup on even if it was just to drive to the local convenience store for a gallon of milk_. Going to class the way must have been a tragedy for Amber,_ Sam chuckled, _and of course I am going to have to deal with that this afternoon. I doubt she is going to talk to me all the way home and through dinner_. _Yeah, I have the perfect girlfriend but how come I don't love her the way I should? Why do I feel a little empty at times?_ She asked herself, but she knew the answer…because of the way I feel about Carly Shay!

Her thoughts went from Amber to Carly. _Funny how they are so alike in a lot of ways and they don't see it, she thought,_ _maybe that is why they never liked one another?_ Sam saw the two girls in a way they could never see themselves and there were so many similarities it scared Sam. It scared her because she thought occasionally that was the reason she was attracted to Amber. When they first started dating, she never intended to for their relationship to progress as serious as it did. She first saw in the other girl a beautiful person she actually liked and could even help her emotionally when she came out as gay. Then things just progressed over the summer and Amber fell in love with her and in her way she fell in love with Amber. Things were going great and she even met Amber's family which consisted of only her brother. Sam liked Patrick a great deal and he seemed to like her as well. Amber told her afterward that he did like her a lot and looked at her as another little sister. Sam liked that feeling, but teased Amber and told her if she was straight she would have been all over Patrick since he was so hot. Amber laughed and told Sam all her friends who were girls thought so as well. Then when he moved and Sam's mom moved and they moved in together. She loved Amber a great deal and did not want to hurt the girl, but there was always the thought of Carly Shay in the back of her mind and some unresolved issues.

Then this morning when she saw Carly she felt she got a little closure when her one time best friend ignored her, but then the girl had to show up at lunch and make that small comment about missing her, _yeah I read right through that one,_ and the issues came back with even more complications. _Oh…Amber I am so sorry? I…I do love you, but it's Carly? Of course wanting to be friends again, if that is what she wants, does not mean anything but being friends. But would you be able to handle me having my best friend back? Can you_ _still want to be with me knowing she is my best friend? I don't want to hurt you…but I want her back in my life! _Sam thought. This morning Amber told her she did not understand how much the Goth girl loved her, but she does. She knew Amber loved her to the point she felt she could not live without her. At times her girlfriend was obsessed with that love, and while it did not bother Sam to have Amber obsess over her, she actually like it and Amber was not one of those crazy obsessive people that would stalk someone or question every move Sam made. Sam and Amber did things without one another and even had separate friends they spent time with, but it did scare her what the other girl may do if Carly and Sam became friends again. _Ohhh fuck! How did my simple life get so complicated_! Sam's thoughts were snapped back to where she was when the bell rang ending the class. She got into the hall way and pulled her cell phone out and listened to the message. Her face light up in a huge grin and she saved the message and the new number in her phone.

Amber sat on the bleachers in gym class dressed in what she considered a horrible choice of clothes, her gym uniform. Gold shorts and a red tee shirt with the word "Spartans" blazed across her chest, the school colors and name of the school's sports teams. She hated not only the uniform but the class as well. Amber was not a very athletic person when it came to the sports played in the class; volleyball, basketball, softball, etc. She wished they would at least once have a ballet class so she could prove to the coach and others she was not a total klutz. She would not even have dressed out if the coach would not have warned her he would fail her if she refused to dress out as she did the previous years. So she sat there alone and filed her nails and wished her skin was not so pale and she could pick up a tan without burning her body a ugly shade of red and squirming on occasion as her panties, still wet from earlier stuck to her, she cursed Sam with a smile for the hundredth time since they had sex that afternoon. She glanced up as the coach was explaining the class outline and tried to flirt with some of the other girls. Another reason she hated the class was two of her classmates were Tiffany and Maria. They would look at her, whisper, and giggle. She knew they were talking about her.

"What 'sup, freakizoid?" She heard a voice say as a body slid into her and bumped her. She glanced up and smiled.

"Heya, jockess, have a good summer? And by the way, they have this new invention called voice mail. It goes along with your cell phone and people call you and leave a message and you can call them back. I thought you Japanese were good with technology. I called you about a thousand times over the summer you know? I even had lunch with your mom several times over the summer and heard nothing from you."

The Asian girl put her arm around amber and hugged her close, which caused them to receive rude comments about their sexuality from some of the other girl's. The two girl's ignored them and broke the hug.

"Awww…come on, Ams, I called you back a couple of times and you know damn well I'm Korean and calling me Japanese is an insult. I had a busy summer and all. My dad took me to visit my grandparents in Hawaii for a couple of weeks, as you well know from mom. Man, what a nightmare that was. The are so traditional and I swear they were going to have me married off by the time I left to what they would call a suitable Korean boy." The girl giggled.

Amber looked at her friend, her and Hu-Ran Isuel had been friends since kindergarten and she knew Ran was Korean, but had teased her about her nationality ever since they were in grade school. It was an ongoing joke between the two that originally started when they first met and Amber thought for a year her friend was anything but Korean. Amber considered Ran absolutely beautiful and loved the girl's Asian features. She was tall, very athletically toned in an extremely feminine way, she had long silky black hair, and lovely light brown skin and the most perfect teeth she ever saw, of course her father was an orthodontist and that did not hurt. She was also Amber's best and oldest friend. Ran's mom and dad had been very close to Amber's and when the Goth girl's parents died they basically adopted her and her brother. They thought a lot of Patrick and treated him like a son they never had and Amber had spent many a nights at the Isuel home crying in Mrs. Isuel's arms after the accident.

"Yeah must have been a nightmare going to Hawaii. You could have went with Samantha and I on a wonderful camping trip and instead of beautiful beaches with white sands you could have gotten…ohhh…lets see; a sprained ankle, blisters on your feet the size of golf balls, and bug bites in places you would not think a bug would dare go. So yeah, Ran, I think Hawaii would have been terrible. Trust me, Ran, after a single day in the woods I would have married three Korean boys just to get the hell out of there. "

Ran giggled, "Yeah I heard. I have history with Sam second period and she told me. God I laughed my ass off when she told me how you fell down that hill and tumbled down in a summersault. I would have loved to see that."

Amber pouted, "It hurt! And I really don't think you and my girlfriend should be laughing at me like that." Amber feigned whining. "I thought she was going to kill me tracking through those damn woods and making me help put up the tent. The damn thing collapsed on us the first night since I did not tie the knots right. God…I hate the outdoors. I should have broken up with her right then. All she did was tease me."

Ran laughed, "Yeah right, you break up with her…please. Girl, I am still shocked how you landed a hottie like Sam Puckett to begin with and not to even mention you are soooo in love!"

Amber blushed, "Shut up, silly Chinese girl!" She said with a wide smile.

Ran laughed again and both girls over heard Coach Myers make an obvious flirtation comment to Tiffany, who just giggled.

"God he is such a perv! I hope he got over his Asian girl fetish this year and leaves me alone. And I hate that bitch as well! Sam said you had a run in with her and her crew this morning."

Amber looked at Tiffany and Maria who were whispering together, "Yeah, just words nothing much. Ummm…Carly was with them and then the whore showed up at Dingo's at lunch and talked to Samantha. Ewwww…I hate her!"

Ran hugged her friend again, "Sorry, babe, wish I would have been there for you. I had other things to do at lunch." Ran knew Amber's feelings toward Carly Shay and her best friend's inferiority complex toward the other girl. It was easy to have one with Carly. Ran thought Amber was just adorable and sweet and very pretty, but she could not deny Carly was the prettiest girl in school. "And watch yourself with those girl's, Ams, Maria still has it out for you and she can be a mean bitch. I would hate to call in some of my cousin's Korean gangster friends to take them out if they hurt my girl. We Asians can be bad ass if need be, you know."

Amber laughed, "The only Korean gangsters you know are the ones on TV and your cousin is a grad student at Yale, if I remember correctly. So maybe you could send the Yale Glee Club in to help me out."

Ran laughed, "Well…be careful, Ams, don't let that mouth run off to much. You have such a pretty face and I would hate to see it smashed in. I'm serious, k! You know I got your back if you need it."

Amber smiled, "Thanks, Ran… know you do…but maybe you should be careful too. I mean if Maria finds out you have been doing Jason all summer…oh don't look at me like that, I know. God, he tells me almost everything, you know. Too much sometimes. He says he can't tell his friends things since he had this reputation and all. Anyway, if she finds out you have been fooling around with him she is going to kill you. By the way, he really likes you. You should tell him to break up with her and date you. Jason is actually a pretty good guy."

Ran smiled, "Yeah I know he is…he is good at a lot of things, let me tell you." Ran winked and Amber blushed, "But I don't want anything serious. And don't worry about me, Miss. Goth Girl, Maria doesn't scare me. Plus I'm holding out for your brother. I just know he is madly in love with me and wants me so bad. He is just being honorable and when I turn eighteen next month he will come and sweep me off my feet and carry me straight to the bedroom and fuck my brains out after I do all kind of dirty perverted things to his gorgeous body and then we get married…God he is so hot. Plus mom and dad would think they died and went to heaven if Patrick married me. So ummm…how's he doing?"

Amber frowned, "Don't be crude about my brother…God, Ran, you are so bad. He is fine and still engaged by the way. Plus he doesn't like Vietnamese girls." She smiled as she pushed Ran' shoulder playfully.

Ran laughed, "Well if he would give me a chance…you know us Asian girl's…we love you long time." Ran stood up as Coach Myers called her name to be a captain and Tiffany the other one. He announced they were going to choose sides for a volleyball tournament they will play during the first school term in the class. Amber thought it figured Ran would be one of the captains since she was captain and star player of the school's girl's volleyball team, which won the State Championship the last three years.

Ran turned and looked at her friend, "Amber, seriously, watch your back. And I'll pick you for my team, k."

Amber smiled, she loved her friend.

Ran did pick Amber as promised and she made her way to the side of the net to join her team. She walked by her friend and gently pushed her. "Thanks for picking me…last!"

Ran smiled, "Ams, I love ya girl, but I also want to win…and you…well…suck. Just get in line Miss. Prissy Britches and don't break a nail."

"God you Chinese are so competitive." Amber said with a smile and made her way back to her spot and heard Ran laughing behind her. She stood there hoping the ball would not be hit to her and actually double checked her nails that Ran's comment got her worried she would break another one today. Of course she knew the other side would pick out the weak link, which would be her, and use it. _God I hate Gym class!_ She thought and waited.

Sam walked the hall to her next class and checked a clock in the hallway. She had three more minutes and she would be late for her Geometry Class. She promised Amber she would not skip as many classes this year as she did the last year, but she desperately wanted to call Carly back. She slipped out a side door that she knew would not set off the fire alarm, she took care of that last year and knew it had not been fixed yet, and made her way to a secluded corner behind the school. She pulled out a cigarette and lighter from her sock and lit it. She flipped open her phone and selected Carly's number and then held the phone to her ear. She was excited and hoped Carly would pick up and then hoped she wouldn't. It rang a three times.

"Hello?" Sam's heart jumped when she heard Carly's voice on the other end but she did not say a word. "Hello…ummm Sam? Sam is this you?"

Sam took a deep inhale of her cigarette and almost hung up until she heard Carly's voice again and the word spoken. "Sam…please…don't hang up. I'm…I'm so happy you called." The voice sounded emotional and like she was crying.

"Carly…are you…are you crying? Are you ok? Is something wrong?" Sam instantly went into protection mode for a girl she cared so much for, for such a long time.

"Silly, girl, I'm crying because you called me back. I'm…I'm happy!" Sam heard a male voice on the other end of the phone and immediately recognized it as a voice she grew up with.

"Is Spencer with you? Where the hell are you, school?"

"Yeah, it's Spencer and no I am at home. I was not feeling good after…after a class and went home. Sam, I…I need to talk to you. I want to talk to you…I…oh God…" More crying and Sam wanted to reach through the phone and hold Carly Shay so tight. She felt her own throat tighten and her eyes begin to water. She chuckled when she heard Spencer in the background.

"Hey, is that Sam…let me talk to her…SAM! SAM! We miss you, girl. Tell her Carly…Tell her the news."

"Spencer, shut up! God…hold on Sam, her wants to say hi." Sam heard Carly mutter something and then the male voice.

"Sam…God girl I am so glad you called. Carly has been crying all summer over your fight…Yes you have, sis, don't deny it…and I miss you too. Things are so normal around here without you. Ok, Ok…here's Carly back…and guess what…I'm getting married! Can you believe that! Well let me give the phone back to Carly before she stabs me with a knife." Another pause and then a sniffle. Sam is crying hard by the time the phone is given back to Carly.

"Don't listen to him; he is just excited he is getting married. You remember Amanda…they got engaged in July. They are getting married in June. Cool huh? Sam…Sam…you there?"

Sam took a deep breath and calmed herself down, "Yeah *sniff* I'm here *sniff*. So umm *sniff* did you tell *sniff* Spencer why we umm…fought? *sniff*"

"Yeah and he could care less. Said he knew all the time and I was stupid to let such a friend go over something like that, but he really didn't…hey you ok?"

"Just allergies."

"Bullshit, you never had allergies a day in you life. He said you _are_ coming to the wedding and you can bring…no _she_ of all people cannot come! Sorry, maybe a date…or you could just go stag like me and I'll be your date." Carly let out nervous chuckle.

"Carly…what…why…damn it Carly Shay…what is this about? Why did you decide to call me? What game are you playing?" Sam asked getting angry. There was a pause and she heard a deep breath from the other end.

"No game, Sam, I miss you and seeing you today made me realize how much. I want to talk. I know we have a lot to discuss. I…I do miss you Sam Puckett and I was hoping we could talk…soon."

Sam lit another cigarette. "Ok, Carls…Ok. I cannot meet you after school today. I need… need to…fuck this is hard…I need to tell Amber something. I'll make an excuse and meet you at your place tomorrow after school. Amber has that photo club thing tomorrow after school."

"I would like that…and Sam…I do miss you and I am so sorry…for everything."

"Save it, Carly…like you said we have a lot to talk about, but I am not going to make any promises. See you later." Sam hung the phone up. Sam wiped her tears of joy from her face, took another draw from her cigarette, and threw it to the ground. She walked back into the door and began thinking of something to tell Amber. _Fuck! This is going to be hard. Amber…oh baby what am I doing to you?"_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Waiting for your girlfriend.

Amber waited outside by the car for her girlfriend. She did not break another nail in gym class and actually hit the ball once, even if it was in the wrong direction. Tiffany laughed at her and called her a dyke klutz and the next play Ran spiked the ball straight at the beautiful cheerleader and she just barely missed out on a broken nose. Amber smiled as she thought of the incident, _Damn, I love that girl!_ She decided the class was not a total waste of a time due to that reason alone. She was also pleased that she had an extra pair of thigh highs in her locker. Her books were sitting on the hood of the car. She was taking extra books home to study after she did what little homework they got assigned on the first day. She was thinking of what to cook for dinner when she heard her name being called and looked to her right and saw Misty Shepard walking quickly toward her direction.

"Amber…guess what? Guess what I just found out?" The plain girl asked excitedly when she stood next to the Goth girl.

"Ummm…let me see…you just found out that you scored even higher on the SAT's than you originally thought?"

Misty smiled with a slight blush, "No…you are so funny…my mom called and told me a letter came and I told her to open it and…and…it was an early acceptance letter to Harvard! I got in! I am sooo excited."

Amber smiled at the dumpy girl, "That's great Mystery. You will do great there…hell any school you go to." Amber was always nice to Misty and liked her and pitied her at the same time. Besides herself, Misty was tormented the most by the popular girls. What made Amber pity Misty was that the other girl lacked the will to stand up for herself and the bullying really bothered her at times emotionally and the girl really had no friends. Being friendless made her latch on to anyone who was kind to her and sophomore year that person was Amber so Misty assumed they were the best of friends. Amber liked the girl, but today she was in no mood to play the role of "best friend". She never said anything to the Goth girl when Sam was around through. Misty was afraid of Sam even through her girlfriend never did anything to her. Sam had a reputation, well deserved for the most part, as being a bad ass.

"So…ummm…have you heard anything yet? What schools have you applied for? I know you could get into any school you wanted. I mean, we both now you are sooo smart and you even have other factors in your favor like drama club, the photo club, and stuff. Those extra things look great on a college resume. All I had was the chess club and the debate team and I got into Harvard."

Amber cringed; college was a sore subject for her at this time due to her relationship with Sam. Amber completed and mailed her college applications and was just waiting for reply letters and she got a few to some of the schools that were not her first choice and of course she got accepted with scholarships; which she either hid or threw away before Sam saw them. But after the day she had, she was in no mood to discuss college with anyone, especially Misty. And the way the girl raddled on and talked fast was getting on her nerves.

"Well…I am holding out for Berkeley." She answered rather sharply. It was the truth that was her first choice.

"Berkeley…cool…you would fit in there, and it is a great school and…"

"What do you mean 'you would fit in there'?" Amber snapped, "Because I am a freak and due to my beliefs and...." She paused when she saw Misty take a step back and her eyes grow wide, "Misty, I'm sorry. I had a bad day and now is just not a good time for me. I did not mean to snap at you."

Misty smiled a little, "Its ok, Amber. I did not mean anything by it. I mean, you know how I respect you and all. So…ummm…you going to Homecoming? They are selling tickets you know."

Amber laughed, "Homecoming? Misty when have you ever known me to attend a school dance? No I don't think so. You?"

Misty frowned, "Oh, I would love to…but no date and all so I don't think so." She sounded sad.

Amber looked at the girl and smiled. She had an idea…two actually. "You want to go; I could get you a date. I happen to know Daniel Torres likes you. I could casually mention it to him that you are interested and he would ask you." Her second idea she would spring on Sam later.

Misty blushed again, "Does he really…I mean…ummm…maybe…if he would ask me. I mean he is kind of cute. But please don't tell him I said so, ok."

Amber laughed, "Misty he likes you. He told me last year in Drama he thought you were cute. I'll talk to him…don't worry I wont tell him you think he is cute, but God, girl, you should let him know you are interested. Flaunt what you got to him and flirt with him some."

Misty turned bright red and Amber doubted the girl knew how to flirt. But neither did Daniel_. That would be a boring date, those two. I doubt they would say two words to one another the whole night_, Amber thought. Daniel kind of creeped her out in Drama last year when he kept staring at her with a serial rapist look in his eyes. She finally had enough and confronted him and she thought he was going to pee his pants. After that he stopped looking at her, at least as far as she could tell, and he even squeaked out a "hello, Amber" every now and then. He was crushing on her something terrible. He was a nerd but not too bad looking. One day Amber asked him out right if there was any other girl in the school he liked besides her and he told her Misty Sheppard and then took off down the hall. She would drop some hints that he should ask Misty to the dance.

Amber saw Misty's blushing smile turn into a frown and her eyes grew wide again, "Amber…I have to go…talk to you later." And the girl turned and walked quickly away. Confused, Amber turned around and saw the reason for Misty's sudden flight. Walking across the parking lot in her direction were Tiffany, Maria, and Keisha. "Fuck" Amber muttered and sat on the back of her car and waited. She knew they coming for her and she briefly wondered where the fourth of the group was; Carly was not with them. Amber looked around and hoped Sam would be coming soon but her girlfriend was no where to be seen. There were no teachers around either. Just some students making their way to their cars and none of them would help Amber. Amber cursed herself for not bringing her extra car keys. If she did she could have driven to the front of the school to pick Sam up. She just hated to drive.

"Don't smart off…Don't smart off…" She muttered to herself over and over. Amber stood up to the girls on a number of occasions and did not back down, but truth was, they did scare her and when Maria beat her up last year it did hurt a great deal.

They got closer, "Well…look it's the dyke. We've been looking for you, queer. Where's your butch girlfriend, freak? She is not around to help you now is she? And neither is that Asian bitch!" Maria spoke first.

"Just leave me alone, Maria, ok. I'm just waiting to go home and not bothering you." The girls were now standing next to her and positioned themselves so Maria was directly in front of her, Tiffany on her right, and Keisha on her left. Maria took a step closer.

"It was not very nice to tell that Ran bitch to hit Tiffany with the ball in gym class. It could have broken her nose!" Maria snapped.

"A shame it didn't, huh?" Amber mumbled and then felt her hair being grabbed and yanked back hard when Maria pulled her to her feet.

"What did you say, cunt? I didn't hear you!" Maria whispered in Amber's ear and pulled harder causing the Goth girl to cry out and her eyes water in pain.

"N…nothing…I…I didn't tell her to do…ouch please Maria let go…please…I didn't tell her to do anything. You…oh damn please your hurting me." Amber pleaded as Maria pulled harder. She tried to flay her arms and push the girl off her but they were held tight by the other two girls.

"Ohhh…is the lesbo whore going to cry? Maybe you should get on your knees and beg her to stop." Tiffany said and twisted Amber's arm to force her to her knees. Amber fell to her knees painfully even while she tried to resist. "You must be used to this position…being on your knees in front of a girl. Or would you prefer a boy? I never could tell with you. You are fucking Sam but last year you fucked Wynn and who knows who else. Wynn said you even asked to be paid for letting him fuck you, but he said you were not worth even his pocket change. And then later you came back begging for more and promised him if he gave you twenty bucks he could fuck your skanky ass. Are you a whore, Amber? Do you get paid to fuck men? Does Sam pay you? God you must be one fucked up pathetic slut to not even know if you like girls or boys or is all just for cash?" Tiffany said harshly.

Amber had tears running down her face now due to the pain and humiliation as others saw and ignored what was happening. None of her friends were around to help her and she felt so alone. "Stop…your hurting me…I...please stop." She begged against her will. She hated begging to these girls.

"Not until you apologize to us for this morning and in gym and when you tell us what you prefer…dick or pussy." This from Keisha as the black girl let go of her arm and dropped to her knees next to the Goth girl.

Amber looked at Keisha, "I…I…maybe they should ask you, Keisha. Tell them who you prefer, girls or boys? Why don't you tell them all about last year…awwwww!" Amber was interrupted by her arm being twisted again and her hair yanked back once more. She then let out a loud yelp of pain and a whimper as Keisha's hand came across her cheek. He face burned in pain.

"You fucking, cunt! I am going to kick your ass…" Keisha started and then stopped as Maria let go of Amber's hair and her arm was released by Tiffany.

"What the hell are you girls doing! Let her go this instant and stay where you are!" Amber heard a female voice scream in anger. Amber looked up and saw Ms. Pendleton running fast across the parking lot. Amber had a brief flashing thought that the teacher sure could run fast in those heels. Other students quickly made their way to their cars or other places they were headed before they slowed to view the fight but the three cheerleaders did not move besides to let Amber go. Tiffany even had a smirk on her face as they waited for the new teacher to reach them.

Ms. Pendleton arrived and dropped to her knees and helped Amber to her feet. Amber was crying hard and the teacher ran her long fingers through the girl's hair and whispered soothing words in her ear as she hugged the girl. After a moment Amber pulled back reluctantly, she was experiencing a comforting feeling she had not felt in years…since her mother held her when she got hurt, and the teacher turned to the other three girls.

"Explain yourselves? You three wear the uniforms of cheerleaders and should be role models for the school not bullying other students. I want an answer and then we are going to march up to the principles office and call you parents! I also think getting kicked off the squad would be in order as well! So who is first?"

The three girls did not say a word and did not back down. They were not afraid of getting in trouble or losing their spots on the cheer squad. Ms. Pendleton was new to the school and she had no idea the power these girls had. Both Tiffany's and Maria's parents had donated most of the money for the new football field. After a long silence, Ms. Pendleton knew she was not going to get an answer from the three girls so she turned to Amber.

"Ms. St. Claire, what happened here? Why were these girls beating you?" She asked calmly in a voice Amber found very soothing. Amber looked at the teacher and then the three girls. Each one gave her a warning with their eyes.

"N…nothing, I…I slipped, you saw how clumsy I am in class, and they were helping me up. That…that was all." Amber said quietly, "I…I bumped my face on the car and…and it hurt."

Ms. Pendleton looked at Amber with doubt in her eyes and then turned to the three girls. "I think you three should get to your practice now." The girls did not move, "That means to move now ladies! And you had better hope I do not ever catch the three of you helping Ms. St. Claire again! Is that understood?"

The three nodded and Maria looked at Amber, "We still have things to discuss, _Ms. St. Claire_. We will talk more later…you still owe us…for umm…helping you."

Anger flashed in Ms. Pendleton's eyes, "Leave now girls!" The three turned with smiles on their faces and left. Amber turned and started to walk to the front of the car to get her books and purse.

"Ms. St. Claire…Amber…let's talk for a moment. If you have time. Come on, there's a bench right over there." Amber turned and saw Ms. Pendleton pointing at the bench about twenty feet way. Amber shrugged her shoulders and muttered "Yes M'am". When she walked by the teacher, Ms. Pendleton put her arm around her and held her tight but gently and the two walked to the bench. Amber felt the wonderful comforting feeling once again. They sat down and the teacher waited a moment before talking.

"Did you lock your keys in your car? By the way it is a lovely car. In great shape." She asked and Amber jerked in surprise. She expected the teacher to start in on what she witnessed.

Amber looked up and noticed Ms. Pendleton still had her arm around her. "No, M'am…I…I was waiting for my friend. She has the keys. The car is my brother's and he lets me use it. Samantha…my friend normally drives. I don't like driving."

The teacher smiled, "Well your brother must love you a great deal. If it was my car I don't know if I would let my sister use it."

Amber smiled as well, "Yeah…he's in Australia…works on the oil rigs…and he told me it needs to be driven. Of course he would kill me if I crashed it. But…yeah we are pretty close especially after my dad and mom…Anyway, he get along great even through he is way over protective of me."

"You mean you and him got closer after your parents were killed? Sorry…I looked up your file after class today and it was in there. I did not mean to pry in your personal life, but I wanted to see your past grades and well…your other information."

Amber pulled away, she was a little angry, "May I ask why? Other teachers don't do that…at least as far as I know…and…well, excuse me for saying so, Ms. Pendleton…it is none of your business…my personal life."

The teacher chuckled and Amber looked closer at her. She noticed it earlier in class but it truly did not hit her until now, Ms. Pendleton was extremely beautiful. Almost too beautiful to be human. She was…well...perfect…there was not other word for it. She looked like she just jumped off the cover of Vogue magazine. "Amber, I was not trying to pry in your personal life. My intention was to look at your grades but of course your personal information from the guidance counselor is also in the same file so I did see it. I do admit I could have skipped that part but I was intrigued by you."

"How so…_intrigued_ by me how?"

"You story…it was the best I read not only from the class, but also the best I have read in years. It was better than a great many fourth year college students. It was well written, perfect use of grammar, and if I may tell you…it made me laugh. I liked the fact you could laugh at yourself. So then I started wondering how you did in your other classes and I was very pleased to see your other grades. Then I started wondering why someone with your intelligence had never skipped a grade so I went to the personal portion of your file and found out."

Amber, very flattered but still a little angry, asked a question she never wanted to know, "And what does in say about my sanity? What does our ever so miracle worker guidance counselor say about me? Wait…let me guess…Amber is a troubled young girl and confused about her sexuality. Poor Amber suffered a tragic event in her life when her parents died and while she refused to admit or seek professional help, her emotional state has suffered a terrible blow, and she desperately needs to seek professional help to overcome her problems. She feels abandoned by the only family she had left, her brother, when he took a job in another country. Amber uses sarcasm to mask her pain and is physically attracted to both boys and girls who are the classic bad boy or bad girl type. Amber enters into destructive relationships out of fear of closeness and fear of feeling love she may once again lose like she lost the love of her parents and brother. When Amber does get into a relationship, she constantly seeks approval of the person she is involved with and willing submits herself to things that are not in the ordinary. She often seeks out abusive relationships to fulfill a need and desire to be punished for some un-known reason, blah, blah Then it goes on to explain why all of my friends are the outcasts and the freaks and why she is a freak herself…blah blah blah…So how did I do?" Amber looked at her feet and bit her lower lip. "Damn…second pair I ruined today!" She exclaimed when she saw the runs in her thigh highs caused by being on her knees on the asphalt.

Ms. Pendleton laughed, "Well…for the most part you did kind of nail your personal evaluation. One thing you missed that the…"

Amber's head snapped up and her bright green eyes blazed in anger, "Well let me tell you what they got wrong! One, my bother loves me and I love him…a great deal and he did not abandon me! He struggled a great deal about taking that job and I am the one who suggested and push he go. The money is great and he is getting married soon and can use the cash! Two, I _do_ know how to love and do not fear losing it! I happen to be madly in love with a wonderful person right now and we have a great relationship and she…that's right…_she_ is a wonderful person and not a 'classic bad girl'! And three…"

"Ms. St Clair! If you would stop your ranting I will tell you this…First, after meeting Mr. Krieboski, I think the school counselor is an idiot…something I will deny I told you if repeated. Second, I disagree with his evaluation just by meeting you for this brief time. Third, you missed one part of the evaluation I do agree with. It says you are a brilliant young girl of considerable intelligence and here I quote Mr. Krieboski 'Amber is the smartest girl I have ever had the pleasure to evaluate. Her intelligence does not extend to just books as a great deal of the top academic students, but 'street smarts' and social skills. Amber is not only a brilliant student but a charming young lady who will be very successful in any career path she chooses.' Of course he does mention once again you need to get professional help in dealing with the death of your parents. Again I disagree with that. I started my teaching in the city of Chicago school systems and I have seen troubled teenagers and you my dear are not one of them. One thing it does not mention _you_ brought up was your desire to seek out abusive relationships and your desire to be punished. Why would you say something like that?"

Amber blushed in embarrassment and stood up, "Oh…no reason. I was just ranting. Anyway, I appreciate your help with…umm…when I fell. And thank you for the compliment about my story."

"Ms. St. Claire, please sit down." Ms. Pendleton waited for Amber to sit back down, which the girl did in a huff. "I did not seek you out this afternoon, but admit that I was going to speak to you after class tomorrow. As I said your writing was very good and I would like to see it only improve. Amber…what I am saying is I am taking a special interest in you and your writing and I would like to tutor you. I have dug up some of your old papers from you other teachers and they were also impressive. From the colleges you applied to…yes in your file…I assume you would like to have a career in writing?"

"Yes, M'am…I do want that. But I have not decided on what school I want to go to. I got a few earlier acceptance letters from some, but I may just go to UW or Seattle University."

"Both are good schools but not top schools you could go to; don't you want to go away to school. I saw you applied for the University of California at Berkeley. That would be an excellent school for you."

"Ms. Pendleton…I…I think a local school…I mean I don't have much money. Dad and mom had some life insurance and we got a settlement from the insurance company due to the accident and it may be enough for two years, but…well…cost is a problem." Which was a lie since Amber's parents had a fund set up for her college and then with an academic scholarship she could afford to go.

"First, when we are alone you may call me Natasha…I am only twenty nine and Ms. Pendleton makes me sound like I am eighty. Second, you forget, I have seen your grades and SAT scores and any school would give you a scholarship. I know you know that so don't play dumb with me. I myself am very intelligent so don't play that role. What's the real reason?"

Amber looked at her feet again. "Just want to stay close to home." Amber muttered and bit her lower lip. A habit she had when nervous.

"Well…we will talk about it later. I would like to meet with you sometime this week after school and we will set up a tutoring schedule." The teacher stood.

"Yes, Ma'am…I mean Natasha. I would like that."

Natasha looked down at the girl, who was still biting her lower lip and looking at her small shuffling feet. "Amber, does your girlfriend…Samantha…also use the nick name Sam?" Amber nodded her head.

"Why?"

"Just that…well another student wrote a very good paper as well and it was about her and a girl named Sam. Her best friend. I take it you know Carly Shay? I was just curious that is all. Well…see you in class tomorrow. And Amber, be careful when you umm…fall…I hate to see you get hurt." Amber watched the lovely teacher walk away.

She was excited about the comments Ms. Pendleton…Natasha…gave her and embarrassed she blew up and said a lot of things about her personal life. _Amber St. Claire, you are an idiot sometimes and Samantha and Ran are right…your mouth is going to get you in so much trouble one day!_ She scolded herself. Then she thought of Carly and her paper and wandered what her rival wrote about. _Why did she ignore and diss Samantha all summer and now all of a sudden she wants to be friends again. Something not right about that. If she hurts Samantha again I am going to kill her! God I hate that girl!_

The altercation with the other three girls did not bother her that much, true they went a little further today in their torments than they had in the past, but she was used to them bullying her so she just decided to ignore it and not tell Sam. _Samantha does not need to get in trouble because of me_, she thought. She also knew why she was going to choose a local school. For Sam. Regardless of what she said, the ridicules opinion of the school counselor was right about one thing, Amber did not think she could handle losing another person she loved like she lost her parents. She called her brother almost night just to make sure he was still alive and uninjured. She would wake up around two in the morning and call him. He would call her silly and tell her to stop calling all the time and once or twice a month was enough, but she still did it. She could not lose him either and worried about him.

"Amber! Damn girl I have been calling you. Are you ok?" Amber looked up and saw Sam walking to her. The Goth broke into a huge smile, stood, and ran into her girlfriend and hugged her tight. When Sam hugged her back Amber kissed the other girl passionately. After a long moment Amber pushed her away and smiled.

"God, girl…let me breath. What was that for? I thought you would be pissed for this afternoon."

Amber looked in Sam's eyes, "Oh I am mad…I cannot believe you did that! Not that it was not…umm wonderful…but in school! You are a terrible terrible girl." Amber then snuggled close into her girlfriend's neck and muttered "I love you." She broke apart and walked to the car. She picked up her books from the hood of the car and waited for Sam to open her door. Sam rolled her eyes but walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for her girlfriend.

"Thank you, my dear." Amber said and before she got into the car she looked at Sam. "Samantha…I want to go to the Homecoming Dance and I want you to be my date." Amber bit her lower lip and waited for a reply.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning - This chapter contains strong sexual scenes of a Dom/Sub nature. When you read it do not be shocked at the treatment Amber gets from Sam. It is consensual!**

**Sorry for the time before the posts…I have had some work due for school. I hated I have not been able to work on this story…I am really liking it and where it is going and have some surprises in store for our main characters!**

Chapter 7 – Homework, Dinner, and Pleasure!

"You want to go fucking where?" Sam asked in a shocked voice.

Amber got in the car, "I want to go to the Homecoming Dance and I want you to be my date." She repeated, but in a softer voice this time. She was biting her lower lip again and waited for Sam to get in the car. The blonde got in the drivers side, started the car and turned to her girlfriend.

"You are fucking kidding, right? I mean there is no way you are fucking serious. _You_ of all people, the girl who always comes up with devious plots and thoughts to sabotage stuff like Homecomings and Proms and hell…any social function the school has! The only time you _ever_ go to school events is to see Ran play volleyball!"

"I am serious Samantha…and there is not need for the F word…we are seniors and this would be our last chance to go and…I want to go! Please take me…I'll have sex with you afterwards…that's what girls do on nights like this, right, have sex with the person who takes them?" Amber said and her green eyes sparkled mischievously.

Sam laughed, "Yeah on prom night but normally it is girls who lose their virginity and we both missed out on that with one another a while back. God, Amber…are you serious?"

"Please, Samantha, I really want to go. I will get a new dress and will look so pretty for you. And you will get a new dress also! Plus…well…my mom would like that. She would have liked me to go to a school dance and dress up and all. And you owe me for the incident in the photo lab…_and for telling Ran about our camping trip_. God I cannot believe you told her! So…umm…can we go?"

Sam sighed and started the car, "Well…let me think about it, ok? And if we do go, you have to remember your promise.

"My promise?"

"Yeah, I get to have sex with you that night. Plus you have to let me plan that part. Deal?"

Amber blushed and grabbed Sam's hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it. "Umm…so what did you have in mind? Please not some cheap hotel with vibrating beds."

Sam laughed again, "Don't worry, my dear, I am going to make sure you enjoy it…all of it. So do we need to stop by your place to get the mail or anything?"

Amber smiled and actually batted her eye lashes and flashed those green eyes; Sam laughed at the attempt of seduction. "Do you think that is going to work after all this time?"

"What? I have no idea what you are talking about." Amber feigned innocence.

"You trying to entice me with your charm...and by the way, it still works on me." Sam said with a pretty smile.

"So that means we are going? I'll make it worth your while." Amber asked gleefully.

"I'll think about it, ok…we'll talk more about it later. It is still a month and half away. So do we need to go by your place?"

Amber pouted, "Yeah…and we need to go to the store. I was thinking maybe steaks tonight…I am so sick of being a vegetarian this month. And those little potatoes you like." Amber paused as Sam grinned at the thought of steaks, "Samantha…umm…do you wish I was a virgin or would have waited to lose my virginity to you?" Amber's head jerked forward and then back as Sam almost hit the car in front of her that stopped at a traffic light.

Sam turned to Amber and laughed hard, "Amber…why in the hell would you bring that up? God girl, did you smoke some weed while waiting for me?"

"No…you know I don't do those things. I was just curious about it after you brought it up. So are you disappointed I was not a virgin when we started dating?"

Sam pulled forward as the light turned green and shook her head in disbelief, "Amber…you…man, you are nuts this afternoon…no I am not now and I was not then disappointed you were not a virgin. We both had a past with other people and there is nothing we can do to change that. Would you want to? I mean do you regret having sex with the other people. Plus when we did lose it, we had no idea we would be dating. Hell I really did not even know you then. Why do you regret I was not a virgin?"

Amber was silent for a moment, "Well…no I could care less of you were a virgin or not. I would not have cared if you were a porn star and had sex with thousands of men and women. What matters to me is that I am the one who _now_ sleeps in your bed and gets the wonderful pleasure you know how to give. But…yeah I wish you would have been my first. I mean at the time I did not regret the others…and for _your_ information it was not a lot…but yeah I wish I was."

Sam laughed again as they pulled into a parking space next to the butcher they preferred, "Amber…stop being foolish, ok…I mean that was a silly question. I have been with other people…_and for your information it was not on the porn star level_…and I am with you now. So enough of that stupid question, ok." Sam said in a stern voice. She was feeling guilty about talking to Carly. She never cheated in a relationship before, of course besides Amber the only two she had were with boys and they did not last long. The only girl she had sex with was a weekend fling so that did not count as a relationship. But she thought if Carly wanted to have sex with her, would she? _Damn it Sam Puckett…you have to tell her. Be honest with her. Amber of all people deserves that. She was there for you in a difficult time_. Sam thought and for the first time in her life she was a coward. She was a coward because she was not going to tell Amber about her phone conversation with Carly or their planned meeting. First it did not mean much, she was still mad at Carly for what she did and really was not sure they could be friends again and second Carly was not gay and the sex issue would never come up. _I'll tell her afterwards…that way I can see what happened,_ Sam heard Amber mutter something that brought her out of her thoughts.

"What…sorry I did not hear you, babe."

Amber looked at her and smiled and her eyes gleamed. She opened the car door, got out, and leaned her head back in, "I said I hope I burn you damn steak tonight." Amber smiled tightly and shut the door.

Sam smiled, "Damn, I wonder if dating boys is this difficult!" She said aloud and got out of the car and followed Amber into the small shop.

After they picked out two good looking rib-eye steaks the couple drove to a local market and picked up some vegetables. They were no longer playfully bickering but talking about their day at school and Sam mentioned about her choice taking the advance classes and Amber promised to help her and urged her not to drop them. Amber told her about the writing class, leaving out that Carly was in the class and the encounter with Troy. She then told Sam about the teacher and what she said and how she found her after school, again leaving out the encounter with the three cheerleaders. Sam told Amber she was proud of her and wanted to read the paper she wrote. Amber did tell her about gym class and Sam laughed when she heard about Amber playing volleyball and teased her and then made a mental note to thank Ran for her well directed spike. She liked Ran.

By the time the got to Amber's apartment they had finished talking about school and were making small talk or being silent, but not out of awkwardness but comfort. Comfort with one another and their relationship. Amber went into the building to get the mail while Sam stayed in the car. She got some bills, and two college letters. One from Vanderbilt in Alabama and another from USC. She threw both in the trash without opening them. The only reason she applied to Vanderbilt was it was her mother's Alma mater. She also got two fashion magazines in the mail, Vogue and Goth Beauty – a Gothic fashion magazine.

The rest of the ride home, Amber was flipping the pages of the magazines and pointing out various outfits the models were wearing to Sam with excitement. Sam pretended to pay attention and even made comments on occasion, but truthfully fashion was not her thing and only acted interested for Amber's benefit since fashion was one of her Goth girlfriend's things.

Later that evening Amber helped Sam with her homework, after a good deal of fussing and cursing from the blonde girl, and Sam actually felt better about the math since Amber explained it better than the teacher did. Amber laughed and told Sam Mr. Keenan was a brilliant mathematician but a terrible teacher. They ate and around eight o'clock Sam was watching TV while Amber was finishing her homework and the blonde girl looked up at the table and saw Amber dressed in her worn out pink pajama bottoms, that the girl wore low on her waist, and a white sleeveless tee-shirt. Her long black hair was piled haphazardly on top of her head and the two red streaks hung down past each cheek. The girl was chewing her pen and wearing her cute glasses while reading. Sam just stared at Amber for a while in awe and lust.

Sam thought Amber was a very beautiful girl and while she did tease her girlfriend about her fashion choice on occasion, she actually loved the way the Goth girl dressed on a daily basis. But when seeing her girlfriend in her faded pink pajama bottoms and no makeup and just showered (Amber always tried too take two showers a day, one in the morning and one when they got home from school in the early evening) and wearing her glasses she thought the girl was at her loveliest. Amber had a natural beauty and when she was not wearing make up the few light freckles would show across her nose. The one and only time Sam teased Amber about her pajama bottoms, the girl always wore those and no others around the house, and she was informed by Amber's sad voice that they belonged to her mom. Sam never teased the girl again about those pajamas. She not only appreciated Amber's physical beauty, but her inner beauty and strength as well. The blonde was awe of that.

Sam thought Amber was one of a kind. The girl was delightful to have around, when they were not fighting (which they have been doing more of the past few weeks) and Sam thought the girl had a certain charisma. That was the word for it. Amber could light up a room like no one else, _with the exception of Carly,_ Sam thought. She was extremely charming and seemed to be in a cheerful mood for the most part. Sam knew the girl had a tough time with her parent's death (from comments she made Sam knew Amber and her mom had been very close) and the terrible way a lot of the other kids in school treated her, but Amber seemed to take it all in stride. As Sam sat there staring at her girlfriend she thought of when Amber approached her for the second time in two weeks; the first being the day at the coffee shop.

_Sam was sitting alone in the cafeteria at school debating if she should just skip the rest of the school day. She had already been in one fight that morning and knew another one would be coming soon. People found out she was gay, something she planned. Sam told not only Carly but Freddie and a few select others and knew they would spread the word, with the exception of Carly Shay. Sam planned it that way so she was not surprised. She was surprised Carly had not said one word to her after the spring break or even called; surprised and hurt. So she sat there playing with her food and giving people mean looks when they stared at her. She looked at her plate and noticed a shape sit down across from her and looked up. Sitting at her table and smiling at her was that strange girl from the coffee shop. Amber something…yeah Amber St. Claire._

_Amber looked different than she did at work. Her long black hair was down and the two red streaks framed her cheeks. She was dressed in a black dress that came down just above her knees and the top portion of the dress was cut to look like a sleeveless corset with two thin straps over the shoulders. The bust line of the top of the dress went straight across her chest about two inches below her throat. The material of the bottom of the dress was a shimmering black material and the corset portion was entwined with a good deal of lace. Sam noticed her skin was a pale white, something she did not see the first time they had officially met at the coffee shop. It was not a sickly pasty white, but a very healthy alabaster glow. Around her eyes the girl wore black eyeliner and black mascara on her lashes and a crimson eye shadow. Her full lips were colored the same crimson color of her eye shadow. Sam stared at her for a moment and the girl was biting her lower lip and seemed nervous. The first thought, besides how strange she thought this person was, Sam had was how pretty and small the girl was and how perfect and in order she appeared. Her clothes seemed tailored to her form, not a single strand of hair out of place, and her makeup seemed to have been applied with a great attention to detail. _And her eyes…God I have never seen eyes that shade of green before…must be contacts_. _No one could have eyes that brilliant shade of green._ She made Sam feel awkward about how she was dressed; in a pair of wrinkled cargo shorts and blue tee shirt. Sam did not like the feeling._

"_What?" Sam asked harshly._

_Amber smiled shyly, "J…just wanted to umm…say hi…and to see how you are doing. So…umm hi and how are you doing?"_

_Sam could not help but smile at the girl's voice which sounded very musical. Her smile seemed to put Amber at ease a little. But regardless of her smile, Sam was in a very bad and dangerous mood. People learned at school when Sam Puckett was in a dangerous mood, you did not fuck with her._

"_What do you mean, 'How I am doing'? I am doing fine, not that it is any of your business…yeah I remember what you mother told you about problems and shit, but I swear she should have stopped butting into other peoples business before she died and told you not to mettle in things that are none of your business." Sam said harshly. She did notice the girl briefly had a hurt expression on her face, but at this moment she did not care if she hurt this strange girl's feeling or not. _

"_Well…I…umm…I heard about you and your…umm…well the rumors and all are all over the school and if you wanted to talk or something…and well I did tell you that I would like it if you sought me out and…well you never did so I thought I would come to you and…" Amber started but was cut short by Sam's mean glare._

"_Yeah you heard I was a lesbo and wanted to see if it was true. Huh? Well it is and if you think I am going to let a little freak like you tease me, and then you had better think again. I could easily kick your ass."_

_Amber did not flinch as expected but bit her lower lip again and cleared her throat. "First…I do not care for the term 'lesbo' and find it offensive and as far as kicking my ass as you so delightfully put it, yeah you could very easily I am sure. I never been in a fight before, except the time Maria kicked my butt a few weeks ago…you were there… and really don't like them."_

_Sam remembered the incident and actually forgot it was this strange pretty girl sitting in front of her who Maria was beating up that day. Sam was actually the person who pulled the cheerleader off the girl and took her to the nurse. Amber apparently did not remember it was Sam who helped since she did not bring it up in her weird conversation, which was understandable since the girl was in a daze after having her head slammed repeatedly on the hard cafeteria floor._

"_Anyway I…well…damn it I am not good at this. Well I have never done this before." Amber muttered the last part almost to her self and took a deep breath, "Ok…here it goes…Samantha, would you like to go out with me? On a date I mean. Would you like to go out on a date with me?" _

_A surprised look flashed across Sam's face but she remained silent. She glanced to the right in the direction of the popular table and saw Carly staring at her with a strange look on her face the blonde could not interpret. Sam did not know it, but Carly had been staring at her ever since Amber sat down. The blonde looked back into those incredible green eyes of the girl in front of her and smiled, "Are you always this forward? Twice you sat down with me uninvited and decided to talk to me regardless if I wanted you to or not. Now you ask me out? What kind of person are you?"_

_Amber bit her lip and stood up and Sam thought the girl was going to cry. "Samantha…well…ok so the first time I ever ask a girl out I get rejected…wow remind me to never do that again. I am sorry to brother you and if you prefer I will never talk to you again. It…well…I like you and thought it would be fun to get to know you better." She turned away and took two steps before Sam spoke. _

"_I didn't say no! Sit down and tell me what you had in mind."_

_Amber turned and her face was beaming with happiness as she sat back down. "Well…I really did not plan that far ahead. I mean normally I am not this forward…to answer your previous question…actually just the opposite. I prefer for my date to make the plans… so tell me what you have planned for our date or would you prefer to surprise me."_

_Sam laughed, "I did not say yes either, but if we did go on a date maybe just dinner and some coffee afterwards. We could talk and get to know one another."_

"_Sure…so how is tonight. It's Friday night and I have no plans."_

_Sam laughed once more, this strange girl intrigued her, "Sure why not. Do you have a car or do we meet or what?" The girls made plans for the date before lunch ended._

_Sam had a great time that night and discovered she liked Amber a great deal even if she was quirky. The strange girl intrigued her. They started with a simple dinner at a chain restaurant and then ended up talking there for hours (Amber did most of the talking, but Sam did not mind) and then went for a walk in the park and then coffee and then a long ride. Sam never did get bored and enjoyed Amber's company. It felt good to talk to someone about her new discovery regarding her sexual orientation. By the time they got back too Amber's apartment it was a little after two in the morning. On their date Sam did discover two things, Amber did not wear contacts and the Goth girl was not at all assertive or forward especially when it came to sex. The girl was kinky and submissive and Sam loved it. It was the best sex she had in her limited experience. Amber did things to her and allowed Sam to do things to her she never thought people actually did. When Sam questioned Amber about her knowledge the Goth told her she reads a lot and does what she thinks would feel good. They had been dating ever since._

Amber looked up and saw Sam staring at her. She removed her glasses, her extra pair that were identical to the broken ones, and placed them on the table.

"What? You have been looking at me for a long time." She asked.

Sam smiled, "Oh…I was just thinking about stuff…you look…you are very beautiful, Amber."

Amber blushed and stood up and walked over to her girlfriend and straddled her legs and kissed her. Their tongues probed each others mouths and Amber felt Sam's hand slide up the front of her shirt and gently caress her right nipple. Amber moaned and broke the kiss and leaned her head back and removed Sam's hand from her breast.

"I…I'm not beautiful…cute yes…but not beautiful. You on the other hand, Samantha Puckett, are the loveliest person I have ever seen. But thank you for saying so. That was very sweet." Amber tried to stand but felt herself being pulled back down and Sam nuzzled her neck, causing the girl to moan in pleasure.

"Ohhh…please Samantha…I need to finish…ohhhh damn that's good…I need to finish my homework." Amber pleaded as Sam continued to kiss her neck. Then the Goth let out a squeal of intense pleasure as Sam nibble her ear and caressed her nipple again. Sam knew the right spot to arouse her girlfriend to where she would forget her homework. After a long time of having her nipples caressed and ear nibbled and gently bit Amber finally found the strength to push her girlfriend away. She grabbed Sam's long curly blonde hair and leaned in and kissed her again. After a long passionate kiss Amber leaned in and kissed her girlfriend's neck once more. Sam moaned as Amber found her ear.

"Samantha…take me to the room and fuck me…I mean really fuck me!" She whispered. Sam knew how to turn her girlfriend on, which was not hard since Amber was a very sexual person.

Sam pulled her girlfriend from her and smiled evilly. She knew what Amber meant when she used the term "fuck me". She knew what her girlfriend wanted and how she wanted it. Sam kissed Amber again and pulled her hair loose so it flowed over the girl's shoulders. She then lifted Amber's tee shirt and started sucking the pink nipples. Amber did not have large breasts but they were perfect size for her small frame. They were slightly upturned and tipped with long rose colored nipples. Sam love the small breasts. She started to suck the girls' left nipple and bit it gently causing her girlfriend to let out a long high pitched moan of pleasure. Amber was very vocal during sex and when she reached her peak of pleasure her moans turned to high pitched squeals. Sam released the nipple from her mouth and then pulled Amber's hair back hard, causing the Goth to whimper slightly in wanted pain.

"So, my little whore wants to be fucked huh?" Sam growled.

"Ohhh…God…yes…please Samantha…fuck me!" She begged as she started to grind her pussy into Sam's pelvis.

Sam pushed Amber off her and the Goth fell to the floor with a thud and a yelp. "Stand and take your cloths off…slowly." Sam ordered the girl.

Amber stood and slowly remover her pajamas and tee shirt. She did not have on any underwear since she preferred to sleep naked. She looked at her girlfriend and smiled shyly.

"Good…and yes you are beautiful…now go to the bedroom and kneel by the side of the bed and wait for me…and do not move. I will be along shortly." Sam ordered.

Amber walked to the bedroom and knelt on her knees and waited. She knew this game and Sam would make her wait at times almost an hour or five minutes depending on the girl's mood. She hated the wait and the anticipation but it increased her arousal the longer she waited. Amber had been thinking all afternoon of this moment after Sam ravished her in the photo lab. The blonde gave her the desire to be dominated. She waited in fear and anticipation. She feared the pain that she knew would come as much as she desired it. When Sam used her and humiliated her, all with Ambers consent, the Goth girl's arousal increased to an unbearable point where she would beg and plead Sam to allow her the physical release of an orgasm. She could already feel her pussy getting very wet her clit began to throb and her hardened nipples ached with excitement. She waited obediently for her dominant lover to enter the room. Amber, to her surprise, did not have to wait long as she heard Sam enter the room and then shivered in excitement as her blonde lover walked by and ran her finger nail down her spin seductively.

Amber heard Sam behind her opening the closet and hen the sound of a zipper being used and the sound of Sam rummaging through a bag of some sort. Amber did not have to turn around to know what the girl was doing. She was sorting through a vinyl gym bag that contained an odd, and some would say perverse, assortment of sex toys the two girls collected over the period they had been dating. Most they had purchased over the internet and some they got in an adult store (using fake I.D's). No, Amber did not have to turn around to know what Sam was doing, but she was curious about which toys the blonde was searching for and hoping it was some and pleading in her mind it was not others. She could sneak a peak, but she knew better than to look in case her girlfriend saw her. She was commanded not to move and that meant looking around and if caught it would mean punishment. Amber kneeled by the bed and her breathing started getting heavier and heavier in fear and sexual desire. Her small body craved to be touched and caressed and deep down she craved the pain which while she knew would hurt and be terrible to bear, it would increase her arousal. She whimpered in her fear and anticipation.

Amber once again heard Sam move and again felt her back caressed and she shivered. This time the caress ran down her naked spine and she could tell it was not her girlfriend's hand, but something else. She thought she knew what it was and it was confirmed when she felt a painful sting on her butt. She knew Sam had the riding crop in her hand. Amber yelped in the pain.

"Up on the bed, my pretty little slut, on all fours" She heard Sam order and once again let out a yelp as the riding crop struck her small but well rounded butt. Amber got off her knees and crawled on the bed. When she did so she looked over her shoulder and saw Sam was now naked and holding the riding crop in her right hand. Amber wished she had time to just stare and admire Sam's body. In Amber's mind Sam was perfect with her breasts, while larger than the Goth girl's, that were small, firm, round tipped with wonder light brown nipples. Her pubic area that was shaved except for a small triangle patch over her pussy, the way her long blonde curly hair fell across her shoulders and fell to almost cover her breasts. Amber could make out the almost faded tan lines around her girlfriends breasts and pubic area. She found those very sexy. Yes, Amber wished she could just stare and admire her girlfriend, but she knew where Sam wanted her and she got on her hands and knees on the bed and turned her head to see Sam walk around the bed and she also noticed an assortment of the sex toys on the floor. While Amber could not make out most of them at her quick glance, the ones she did see clearly made her shiver in either excitement or fear. The Goth suddenly felt her head being snapped back as Sam grabbed her hair and pulled hard. Amber let out a high pitch whimper. Sam leaned down and her lips touched Amber's left ear lobe.

"So you little cunt, you want to get fucked. Are you horny, my little pet? Is your pussy wet with excitement?...Well is it?" Sam pulled her hair harder.

"Y…y…yes…ohhhh….I…I am horny, please Samantha…please fuck me!" Amber begged and pleaded as she squirmed on the bed. The verbal abuse and the physical abuse were increasing her arousal. Sam would never call her names like whore, slut, or cunt unless it was during this type of sexual play the two girls enjoyed, but when it came to sex Amber loved to be verbally and at times physically abused.

"Stop squirming, bitch!" Sam said and smacked Amber's small alabaster butt with the riding crop. Amber's whimper turned into a shout of pain as her girlfriend smacked her hard. Sam then grabbed the other girl's hands and tied them behind her back with a silk cord. Amber struggled but Sam was much stronger and soon she found her hands tied behind her back, her face buried in a pillow on the bed, and her butt in the air. She begged Sam to untie her, but was only rewarded by two more strikes on her butt with the riding crop. Amber cried out in pain but stopped her struggling. Amber felt the pressure on the bed ease and then heard Sam open a draw on the night stand by the bed and soon her girlfriend was back on the bed with her. The Goth's head jerked up in shock as she felt something cold and wet ooze down her butt crack and into her ass.

"Ohhhh…please…not there…please not yet Samantha…I…I…not yet…Awwww!" Amber's begging turned into a shout of pain as Sam lubed her asshole and then placed a finger inside the girl's small tight hole. Amber felt Sam remover her finger and then felt more pressure on her small hole. Sam was inserting anal beads into her girl friend's ass. It did not take long for her to get accustomed to the sensation and soon Amber was moaning in pleasure as the beads slipped in one at a time. After all five of the beads on he string were inserted in her, the Goth felt her pussy being spread and let out a high squeal of pleasure as Sam inserted a finger in her pussy.

"Like that don't you, whore? You like having things in your ass while I finger your pussy don't you?" Sam taunted as she both pulled the beads out of her girl friend's ass and inserted them in again while she finger the other girl's pussy.

"Ohhhh…God that feels good…please more…please fuck me Samantha…make me cum…I…I…please rub my clit! Please…I need it….Noooooo…please more!" Amber begged and moaned and then screamed in frustration when Sam withdrew her finger form her pussy.

"Oh…no my pretty little toy, you do not get to cum yet. You are going to make me cum first…maybe second as well…and if you behave I will let you cum as well. But you had better be good or you don't get to." Amber knew Sam's threat was not an empty one. One night Sam did a number of exciting, arousing, and perverted things to Amber and then would not give her the physical release she begged and cried for. Sam left her tied up unable to even please herself while she herself drifted to sleep well satisfied.

Amber whimpered out a yes and moaned in pleasure as the beads were removed slowly one by one from her ass. The sensation was incredible and very enjoyable. Her pussy was almost dripping in excitement and her clit throbbed in desire. She wanted to have an orgasm badly, but knew she had to please her girlfriend first. That thought also increased her arousal. Amber love to please Sam more than she wanted to be pleased herself. The Goth's girl head jerked up once again in shock as she felt something larger press against her ass when the beads had been removed. Then she felt the object being forced inside of her and the pain as her tight hole expanded to fit the object. Amber knew it was an anal plug and while it felt good after her body got adjusted to it, it hurt when first inserted plus she felt humiliated with it stuck in her.

"Nooo…please…not that…I…I…Awwww…damn it hurts…please!" She begged and knew her pleas when on deaf ears as Sam continued to push the object in her. She let out a loud grunt as the large rounded middle part was inserted and a whimper as the plug was fully inside of her. The pain started to ease and was replaced by an uncomforting feeling and a strange pleasurable sensation was beginning as Sam moved to the head of the bed and positioned herself with her legs spread in front of Amber's face.

Sam grabbed her girlfriend's hair again and pulled the girl's face to her wet pussy. Amber inhaled deeply as her nose came close to her girlfriend's pubis area. The scent only aroused her more as she leaned down to taste her lover's pussy. Riding crop still in hand, Sam forced Amber's head to her pussy, "Make me cum, slut!" She commanded and Amber gladly pressed her tongue inside her girlfriend's wet womanhood.

Amber loved the taste if her blonde girlfriend, but did wish she had her hands free so she could also finger the other girl, but she knew Sam was not going to allow that. Sam liked to be in control during sex with her, even when their sex was love making, Sam took the dominant role. Amber did not complain, she preferred it that way and hated being the dominant one. Amber greedily licked Sam's wetness and then yelped as the riding crop struck her butt cheeks hard.

"My, clit, lick my clit!" Sam ordered and Amber brought her tongue and flicked it on her girlfriend's swollen clit and was rewarded by a loud moan of pleasure from the blonde. Sam's moans of pleasure spurred her on and she flicked the clit harder and faster. Sam moaned, thrust her hips to meet Amber's face, and continued to smack the Goth's naked butt with the crop. Amber moaned and whimpered in pleasing her girlfriend and in pain from the crop.

"Ohhhh….damn…fuuuuck…that it, Amber…right there….shiiit it feels good…awwww…lick my ass now…god damn…my asshole, whore…lick it now!" Sam screamed and Amber felt another strike on her butt, this time harder, and she yelled in pain as her head was pulled back. Sam brought her legs up higher to expose her ass and pushed Amber to force her to lick her asshole. Amber had no problem rimming her girlfriend's small hole; she enjoyed it. She glimpsed the tight brown hole and drover her tongue deep inside relishing the musky taste and smell. Sam let out a loud moan of pleasure and the blonde started fingering her own clit as her ass was rimmed.

Sam pushing Amber's head harder into her body, "Deeper…fuuuuck…deeper, cunt…lick my ass deeper!" She screamed out and Amber placed her small tongue as far as she could in the tight hole and the felt Sam grab her hair tight and her body tense. Amber knew her girlfriend was about to cum.

"Awwwww! Fuuuuck….I'm cumming….shiiiiit! There….there…yeesssss!" Sam bucked her hips and let out a wailing scream when her orgasm hit. She grabbed Amber's head by her hair and pulled the girl in even more. Sam's orgasm lasted for about fifteen seconds and when done her legs were shaking. She pulled her girlfriend up to her and kissed her passionately tasting herself on the Goth's small full lips. While kissing Amber, Sam untied the girl's hands, "Umm…that was great!" She whispered while nibbling Amber's ear.

"Ohhh…that feels good…ummm…baby…can…can you take the…the thing out of me now…and…may I cum now." Amber asked in her pouting voice and then yelped as Sam's bare hand struck her already tender butt, but Sam did remove the anal plug and Amber let out a groan as it left her body.

"Oh no, my dear…I am not done with you yet." Sam pushed Amber on her back on the bed and straddled her, kissing the girl's pink nipples. Amber whimpered in frustration as she made attempts to rub her crotch against her girlfriend seeking some form of pleasure for her swollen clit. Sam just avoided her and laughed as she got off the bed.

"Please, Samantha….please make me cum…I…I…need it…I need you!" Amber pleaded

Sam ignored her girlfriend's pleas and picked something off the floor. She turned around and got back in the bed and held the object up for Amber to see. Amber's eyes grew wide when she saw the sex toy. It was a dildo gag. A gag that strapped on her head and the rubber gag portion was inserted in her mouth and would be pumped up like a balloon until her jaws expanded so she could not talk. On the other end was a black fake penis six and a half inches long. Sam would force the gag in her mouth and then insert the dildo in her own pussy. Of the toys they had, Amber the dildo gag was one of her least favorites. It hurt her mouth and tasted awful.

"No…please Samantha…not that one…I…I…don't like it." She begged. Sam just grinned.

"Now be a good whore and open your mouth."

"Please…please don't pump it up too much…it…it hurts." Amber pleaded as Sam grabbed her head and attached the device to her. Once the gag was in her mouth Sam pumped the gag and it expanded in the Goth's mouth. Amber whimpered as she felt her jaw expand and her pleas soon became muffled as the gag prevented her words from being understood. Her jaw started to ache some, but Sam did not tighten the device too much and Amber was somewhat relieved. Sam looked down at her girlfriend, smiled, and ran her hand through the long thick black hair. She thought Amber looked very sexy in her distress. The Goth's eyes were watering and saliva was running from the girl's mouth as she struggled to get adjusted to the gag in her mouth.

"Ohhh…I am going to ride you until I cum again, my pet." Sam said as she turned and positioned her pussy over Amber's face and lowered her body on the dildo. Sam let out a moan of pleasure as the fake penis entered her tight pussy. One of the benefits Amber did like about the gag was it view she got as the dildo spread the other girl's pussy. She liked to see it thrusting in and out of the blonde. Sam's moans grew louder and her thrusts harder as she fucked the dildo. Amber let out muffled whimpers and groans when Sam's finger thrust in her dripped pussy. She soon felt her own orgasm build but the she muffled a disappointed whimper when Sam removed the finger. Sam was tormenting the girl more by denying her the pleasure of an orgasm.

"Ohhh…fuck…yes…yes…ohhhh…damn…awwww…God this feels so good." Sam moaned as she rode the dildo harder and harder. Her moans of pleasure increased with her thrusts. Amber felt Sam slide two and then three fingers in her pussy and moaned and gagged in pleasure. It felt wonderful and the sight of the dildo thrusting in and out of her girlfriend increased her arousal. She felt Sam's juices drip on her face and chin and inhaled the scent of the blonde's pussy and the sweet musky smell of the girl's ass. She almost came again, but once again Sam felt her body tense and the girl denied her the physical release she craved.

"Ohhh…my ass…finger my ass, whore! I want to…fuuuuck…I want to cum with your finger in my ass…awwwww…yes there, cunt, there…don't stop!" Sam screamed as Amber pressed her well manicured finger deep in her girlfriend's tight brown whole. After a few more minutes Sam screamed out her second orgasm and collapsed on the Goth girl. Her head fell between Amber's legs and Sam licked the girl's inner thighs and pussy to suck in her juices. Amber muffled squeals of pleasure, but once again Sam denied her the release she was begging for.

After a few more moments, Sam once again straddled her girlfriend and removed the gag from her mouth and kissed her, both girls licking and sucking their own juices from the others face and lips. Sam again kissed and bit Amber's rose colored nipples.

"Please…oh….I can't stand it…I need it Samantha…please…don't…ohhhhh God that's good…please let me cum! I will….I'll do anything you want…please!" Amber was begging and by now her begs included tears as she craved an orgasm desperately. Sam smiled down at the Goth.

"Anything huh?" Sam smirked and Amber just begged and promised she would do anything Sam wanted if the other girl would make her cum. Amber felt she would die if Sam would not give her that wonderful release she desired. Sam got off the bed once more and made her way to the sex toys again. Amber bit her bottom lip in fear and thought maybe she made a mistake in promising anything. She saw the blonde strap on a dildo and turn. Sam was wearing a strap on device and from her crotch protruded a large purple dildo nine inches in length. Amber squealed in delight. Normally that large one made her a little apprehensive since she was small and her pussy was very tight and it hurt for a few minutes before her body adjusted to the size, but now she just needed it in her. She needed to cum.

"Oh, God…please…fuck me with it Samantha…I want to feel you in me, my love!" Amber begged and Sam got on the bed and lay next to her girlfriend. She pulled Amber's hair and forced the girl on top of her.

"Fuck it like a good whore you are." Sam demanded and Amber spread her legs and slowly lowered herself on the fake cock. She let out a loud moan of pleasure mixed with a little pain as her body fell on the dildo. Sam grabbed Amber and pulled her tight to her body. She sucked the Goth's nipples as she thrust her hips up to meet Amber's downward thrusts. Amber's clit was rubbing against her girlfriend's pelvis and the feeling was exquisite.

"Ohhh…God this feels wonderful…Please Samantha…harder…do it harder…I want you to make me cum…awwwww….Gooood…don't stop…Awwwww God….Awwww it hurts…but please…more!" Amber begged and moaned and the let out a high pitched squeal when Sam grabbed her ass, spread her apart, and thrust first one and then two fingers in her girlfriend's small asshole. Sam then bit into Amber's nipple hard and the Goth once again squealed in pain and pleasure.

"Owwww…Please…Make it hurt…please make them hurt…I…I'm….cuuuuuummmimg…please…don't stop…hurt me…please hurt me…awwwwww!" Sam thrust one more finger deep in the girl's ass and bit her nipple even harder as Amber begged to be hurt when her orgasm shook her body. The pain caused her orgasm to be more intense. Amber's body shook in pleasure and after an extremely long orgasm the girl collapsed on top of her blonde girlfriend. Amber had tears of joy running down her cheeks. She then felt her body being tossed off her girlfriend.

"I'm not done yet. On your hands and knees, cunt." Sam ordered and Amber, still shaking from her pleasurable release, did as she was told. Once on her hands and knees she looked over her shoulder and saw Sam position herself behind her. Amber liked this position and knew Sam would spank her to increase her pleasure. The Goth's eyes grew wide when she felt Sam press the dildo against her. It was not her pussy the blonde was going to fuck, but her ass. Amber dropped her head to the bed and grabbed the sheets in her small hands as she braced herself.

"Samantha…please…go…go slow at first…it hurts at first…and…AWWWWW…GOD IT HURTS." She screamed when Sam thrust in her hard. The dildo sinking deep inside her ass in one thrust and Amber felt the burning pain when Sam thrust inside of her. The blonde did not move and in a short period of time the pain was replaced by the odd pleasant sensation and Sam slowly pulled out and then pushed in as Amber moaned. After a few more slow thrusts, Sam started pushing harder and harder in a matter of minutes the blonde was thrusting hard and with her left hand she pulled Amber's head back by her hair.

"Ohhhh….please…Samantha…please…God…it hurts…but don't stop! Make it hurt more…Awwww…please…I…I…love you…Awwww!" Amber, with tears running down her cheeks, begged Sam to fuck her harder and Sam did. She pulled Amber's hair back harder and thrust in the girl's small whole harder and harder as Amber clinched the sheets in her hands in pain and pleasure. Soon Sam reached her other hand around and started to finger her girlfriend's clit. Amber screamed loudly in the intense pleasure and came once again. Her second orgasm was not as long as the first but it was just as intense. After her pleasure slated she collapsed with a grunt as Sam pulled out of her. Tears still streaking down her face, Sam move her body up to Amber's head and grabbed her head.

"Samantha…please…not after it's been…in there…please don't make me." She pleaded and her head snapped up as Sam pulled her hair painfully.

"Shut up and suck it, slut!" The dildo was forced in her mouth. Amber gagged and whimpered as her spit poured out of her mouth and down her chin while Sam fucked her face. After a while of Sam forcing her to suck the dildo she gasped for breath as it was pulled from her mouth. She coughed and choked while Sam released the device from her body and tossed it to the floor. Sam then gently pulled the Goth to her and laid her down next to her. She kissed Amber's eyes, cheeks, and face as she held her tight. Amber let out a gentle moan and placed her head on her girlfriend's stomach while Sam ran her fingers softly through her black hair. Amber sighed in a euphoric state.

"Ummm…I love you, Samantha." She said as her fingers caressed the blonde's stomach.

Sam smiled, "I love you to Amber. I…I know I don't tell you enough, but I do." Amber smiled and started to get up.

"Where are you going? I am not done with you yet?" Sam said as Amber got off the bed. Amber smiled.

"I have to pee…and I hope to God you are not done with me yet. I want to be your sex toy tonight." The Goth leaned down and kissed Sam's forehead and ran to pee. Her body ached, but it was well worth it and she knew the aches were nothing compared to what she would be feeling in the morning.

Amber got back into bed and Sam kissed her. The two girls's enjoyed each other's body's seven more times that night in a variety of positions and acts. The last the two girls made passionate love that seemed to last for hours.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – 2nd day of School.

Amber woke up and looked at the clock. She had thirty more minutes before the alarm would go off to signal it was time to get ready for school. She sighed and decided to get up anyway since she had to pee badly. When the girl started to move she let out a groan. Her body ached. Her leg muscles were sore from the various positions Sam forced her into last night, she was flexible due to years of ballet, but the way her girlfriend bended her last night would have made a contortionist sore the next day. Her crotch was sore all the way to her pelvis. Sam used the strap on dildo a number of times and had penetrated her hard until at one time she was begging she could not take the pleasure anymore and for the blonde girl to stop, of course her pleas went unanswered. Her anus was also sore from the times Sam penetrated that part of her body as well. Then her butt cheeks and nipples were tender from the spankings, biting, and pinching they endured. Amber smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her sleeping girlfriend. The pain she now felt had been well worth the pleasures Sam gave her last night. It was an incredible night.

Amber got up, limped and winced as she walked to the clock, and turned off the alarm. She would let Sam sleep some more and wake the girl up herself. Amber went into the bathroom and peed and then took a hot shower. The hot water felt so good on her sore muscles. After her shower she went to her closet and picked put her school clothes. Today she decided to go more conservative in dress. She choose a simple peasant style black dress that ended just below her knees and the top portion above the waist was plain white with short sleeves. She liked the dress because it was tight and made her small figure seem shapely and even made her look like she had curves. She then set aside a pretty light blue sundress for Sam to wear to school. She brought it for her girlfriend over the summer and the girl still had not worn it yet. Amber thought it would look lovely with Sam's eyes. She set aside a pair of black thigh highs and black panties and bra then made her way back to the bedroom to put on her makeup and dry her hair, which she decided to leave down today.

When done grooming herself, Amber decided to make her and Sam breakfast. She sat down on the bed to put on her thigh highs and winced from the satisfying pain in her crotch and well spanked buttocks. She heard Sam mumble about not wanting to get up and turned her head.

"Shhh…you can sleep for a few more, baby. I woke up earlier than expected." Amber whispered and stood up to get her bra off the dressing table. She let out a yelp of surprise as her girlfriend pulled her back to the bed and Amber struggled as Sam tried to force her to lie down again.

"Samantha, I just did my makeup and hair…and need to get…Ohhhh….God….not there…that feels good…Please Saaamant….ohhhhh stop…I…you did not get enough last niiiight….ohhhhh damn…more baby…No stop…We don't have tim…ohhhh…not there…you know it drive me crazy…ohhhh!" Amber tried to protest as Sam kissed her neck and nipples as her fingers explored Amber's now wet pussy and rubbed her clit. Amber stopped her squirming as Sam pressed her lips to hers and pressed her clit hard. Sam, still rubbing her girlfriend's clit slowly, grinned.

"Ummm…yeah I got enough last night, but that was last night." She rubbed Amber harder and the Goth let out a squeal and finally surrender herself to Sam. The two girls positioned themselves where Sam was on top with her head buried between Amber's thighs and her butt and crotch in the Goth's face. They licked and sucked and fingered each other to another blissful orgasm. When done Sam moved around and kissed Amber and jumped off the bed.

"Ummm…I love waking up like that…guess I should shower now." She grinned down at her panting girlfriend. Amber sighed and got off the bed, her legs shaking, and put her panties back on. She fixed her hair and makeup and got dressed. They did not have time for a big breakfast, which they did not eat normally, so Amber sliced some fruit and made the coffee. Amber sat drinking coffee and eating some sliced strawberries when Sam came into the kitchen wearing a pair of faded cargo jeans and a black concert tee shirt she had for at least two years. Amber frowned and got up to get Sam something to eat and a cup of coffee.

"I liked the dress." The fashion conscience girl said as she poured the coffee.

Sam laughed, "Yeah I thought you would…so you should wear it."

Amber smiled despite the fact she was disappointed Sam did not wear the dress. She sat down at the table across from her girlfriend with a cup of coffee. "Samantha, promise me you will at least were a dress when you take me to homecoming, for our senior pictures, and your first day of college and I will stop trying to get you to wear one everyday. Deal?

Sam looked up and smiled with a mouth full of fruit and swallowed, "First I never said I was going to homecoming, I said I would think about it. Second I do not know if I am going to go or even get into a college, and third I will promise to wear a dress for our pictures if you promise to curb your passive aggression. Deal?"

Amber took a sip of her coffee, "Wow, so you think I am passive aggressive, huh? Well glad to know what you really think of me." She said more harshly than intended. "And for your information, Samantha, you are going to get into a college!" Amber took a deep breath and saw that Sam was not rising to her own building anger and she smiled. She did not want an argument this morning. They already had five in the past week and a half and that was not good, so she gave her charming smile, "So I have one flaw…being passive aggressive…and…well…yeah I've been told that before. I'll work on it…k?"

Sam laughed, "Amber, I was not insulting you. Sometimes it is cute but other times it can be annoying. And glad to see you admit you have one flaw….now should we talk about the others?" Sam ducked as a napkin soared at her head and laughed when Amber jumped up in a huff to get ready for school. Sam was putting her own books in her back pack when Amber said she was ready.

"Amber?" Sam asked the Goth girl while riding to school. Amber had her head against the window and her eyes were closed. She was trying to get a few more moments sleep before they got to school. She was tied from the previous night.

"Hmmm…yes."

"Have you heard from any of the schools you applied to yet? Some people have and I was wondering if you did."

Amber opened her eyes and bit her lower lip. She dreaded this conversation, "Well…yeah ones I did not really want to go to. I'm still waiting to hear from the others. What about you? Did you mail your application we filled out?"

"Yeah, I did…the University of Washington and a couple of the other local ones. I think I can get into the community college with no problem, if I decide to go, but UW is a stretch I think."

Amber sighed, "Well I have not heard from UW either so maybe they are not mailing acceptance letters yet."

"I did no know you applied to Washington…what about Berkeley? I know how much you wanted to go there."

Amber looked out the window and after a long sigh, "Well…no nothing, but I am not expecting it anyway. It was a pipe dream. I am really looking forward to UW." Her head snapped forward and back when Sam slammed on the brakes. They were in the middle of the street and other drivers started honking their horns.

"Samantha, are you crazy? You are going to get us killed!" Amber yelled.

Sam just put the car in neutral and pulled up the brake. She turned to Amber, "What the fuck are you talking about 'Berkeley is a pipe dream' that is bullshit! You can get into there very easily and 'looking forward to UW' more BS. Amber UW is a good school….for me it would be a great school. But for you….please you deserve more than that. You deserve your dreams and one of those was Berkeley….oh don't deny it. I know it is. You used to talk about it when we first started dating and Ran told me you have been wanting to go since you were like twelve! Don't give me that look! I have no clue why you even applied to UW….whoa! Wait a minute! Me right? You applied there because if us? Well…Amber answer me!"

Amber looked around and heard people yelling and horns honking and cars going around. One man even came to the car to see if they were having car trouble and Sam told him to "Fuck off". Amber did not answer for a long time and Sam did not pressure her, but the Goth knew her girlfriend was not going anywhere until she did. She turned to Sam with watery eyes.

"Don't flatter yourself!" She snapped, "I applied there because of the school. It is a good school, we…I mean _I_…already live close by, and the cost of going to a state school versus and out of state school is a lot less. So it was an easy choice and then there…OHHHH FUUUUCK!" Amber exclaimed and Sam's eyes grew wide. Amber rarely used swear words and the F bomb was something she hardly ever said, unless sex was involved. "Ok…damn it Samantha…yes I am going to UW because I can be with you! Is that so bad? To want to be with the person I love! I see no problem with that and if I have to sacrifice some minor thing in my life then I will!" Amber finished her speech and sat with her arms folded across her chest and biting her lower lip once again.

Sam sighed and started the car and continued to drive to school without a word. After she had driven about half a mile she once again slammed on the breaks, but this time she pulled over first, and turned to her silent girlfriend. "Amber…damn it...listen to me…God…Amber, if you think that you staying here for me is what you want….shit….I…I cannot make you choose what school you want, but if you love me think of this…If you go to UW for me and give up your dream of going to Berkeley for me…well think how that will make me feel. Do you think I can live with it…even if we are together after that time? Let's think of this…five years after you graduate from college and if we are still together and if we still love one another…you will resent me for your choice. Every time we would argue it I would have to hear you say 'I gave up Berkeley for you…blah blah'. Plus you are too good for UW. Hell you are too good and smart for Berkeley! You deserve so much more than a state school. You are going to Berkeley and if we are meant to be together then we will be!" Sam finished and started the car once more.

Amber, who had started crying again, looked at Sam and smiled. "So…when the hell did you get so preachy? That's my job remember?"

Sam laughed, "Yeah I did go on a bit huh, but I meant it! You deserve it, Amber."

Amber smiled, "Just hurry…all these pit stops are going to make is late."

That morning at school went by slowly for Amber. She kept reliving the conversation in the car over and over in her head analyzing everything Sam said. The phrases of "IF" kept running in her mind, IF we are still together, IF we still love one another kept flashing in her brain. _Did that mean Samantha does not see a future with me? Does that mean she sees me as just a high school fling and when we part our separate ways and go to college she is going to dump me and start seeing someone else? I mean…at college there will be more girls available for her to date. Maybe that is why she is dating me…because truthfully there are very few gay or bi sexual girls in the school. Maybe I am just convenient for her so she is dating me. _ Thoughts like these consumed Amber all morning and she could not focus on her classes. After her last class before lunch her cell phone vibrated and she saw it was a text from Sam. **Amber, I am going to be late at lunch. Go w/o me. S**

Amber replied – **K luv u much. A **

She waited a few moments for another reply and when none came she walked to lunch holding her cell phone and checking it for a reply text every thirty seconds. She was wondering what Sam was doing as she walked to the Dingo when a hand fell across her shoulder. All morning she did well avoiding the Queen and her court and even turned her back several times when she saw them in the hall, but now she got careless. Amber sighed and turned and let out a sigh if relief.

"Oh, Hey Di…thought you were someone else and you startled me." Amber said as she faced Dianna Murphy. Dianna, or Di as she preferred to be called, was a hard core Goth girl and while not truly Amber's friend they were nice to one another. Di's hair was dyed black, Amber knew her when they were younger and knew the girl's natural color was a light brown, and she wore heavy make up Goth style. She had four piercings in her face alone and heard rumors her nipples were pierced as well. At school she was not allowed to have her facial jewelry in. Amber thought she may have been pretty if she toned down her makeup. She was taller than Amber, almost every one of her peers were taller than her, and had a very voluptuous body Amber was a little jealous of. She had large breasts and a very shapely butt and the girl loved to flaunt her cleavage. She was the only girl in school who got more dress code violations than Amber. Amber thought her very crude and did not like talking to her alone, plus the girl flirted with her in a very obvious and crude way. Amber hated that as well.

"What's up, Amber…Sorry to make you jump. So where is Sam? Please tell me the two of you broke up and I can finally take you out and fuck you."

Amber sighed and wrinkled her nose, "Sorry, Di…she just had things to do…plus Justin would be a little mad you were screwing around on him." Justin was Dianna's boyfriend of the past three years. He was crude and into hard core punk.

Dianna laughed, "Hell, girl, Justin would love it. You know, he could join in if you let him. He told me a while back he would love to fuck you." Dianna ran her hand over Amber buttocks in a seductive manner.

Amber felt her temper rise. A little flirtation she was ok with, but the obvious come on was making her mad. She pushed Dianna's hand away, "Sorry Di…Sam would kill all three of us…ummm…well good seeing you and all." Amber started to walk when she heard Dianna laugh.

"Chill out, Amber, I actually had a reason for looking you up besides trying to get into that sexy dress you have on. There is a rave this weekend…Saturday." Dianna handed Amber a colorful invitation, "I thought you would like to come. You used to love them and I have not seen you at one in a while. Bring Sam…maybe she could keep Justin busy while you and I had some alone time." Dianna reached up and caressed the other girl's cheek before she had time to back away. Amber blushed and looked at the invitation. She did love the raves and had not been to one since she took Sam in July. Sam did not enjoy it much. Then she saw the band's name that was playing in bold dark green, _Lady Blitz and the Aliens._

"Cool…I love them!" Amber said excitedly. They were a local group that played mostly Techno music and Amber did enjoy them.

"Yeah, knew you did. So you should go and look me up when there…we could party...alone or with others, your choice." Dianna grinned evilly and walked away. She like flirting with Amber because it embarrassed the girl plus Dianna thought Amber was a little sexy thing. She never had sex with a girl before, but she would love to see what it was like with Amber St. Claire.

Amber put the invitation in her purse and would ask Sam to go later that night. When she got to the Dingo she saw Ran wave at her and sitting next to the tall beautiful Asian was Jason Miller. Amber was still sad about Sam's words but now her curiosity was peaked. She sat down next to Ran.

"What's up, freak. Why so glum?" Ran asked.

"Oh…nothing…just…nothing." Amber said and looked at Jason. The boy took the hint and excused himself to get a drink and asked the two girls if they wanted anything. Ran said no and Amber muttered she was not hungry. When Jason left Amber looked at her best friend.

"So, what's the deal? You two dating now?"

Ran smiled, "Nope…just hanging out…and sex of course…he broke up with the bitch last night."

Amber looked a little shocked, "Why?"

"Well…he heard what that bitch and her friends did to you yesterday…by the way Sam found out and she is pissed…and he told her they were over. He likes you Amber…as a friend…and told her he does not like people picking on his friends." Ran said with a sad smile, "Now why so glum and where is Sam?"

"Well…I don't know just life I guess…and…she said she had something to do and I guess I was not important enough to tell what it was. So are you and Jason going to be dating now. You know he is a good guy. We go way back and he is sweet."

Ran laughed, "Slow down, girl…First stop being a drama queen! Sam loves you so chill. Second…we are just friends with benefits…right now. I don't know, he wants to but I would feel like a rebound chick."

Amber smiled, "Oh, come on…you and him have been have been sleeping together for months…I don't think that would qualify for a rebound."

Ran grinned, "Well we don't do much sleeping…but I know. I just am not in the mood for a relationship right now. Unless your brother comes home."

Amber rolled her eyes, "God, Ran, you have been crushing on him since we were what…ten? Give it up!" She smiled at her friend.

"Who has she been crushing on? Do I need to get physical and kick some butt?" The girls heard Jason say from behind them. He was smiling and flexing his arms.

Ran laughed, "Just Patrick…Ams brother. And by the way, Ams, I was eight when I first fell in love with him. See we have history and he will come around one day."

Jason sat down and frowned mockingly at Ran, "Well if it is Patrick then I will have to let him have you…I am too young to die."

Ran laughed and Amber looked at her friends, "Oh please. My brother is a teddy bear and would not hurt anyone." She said with a little anger in her voice.

Jason looked at the Goth girl and shrugged his shoulders, "Come on, Amber, Patrick and my brother were Recon Marines in both Afghanistan and Iraq…do you know what that means? He may be a teddy bear to you…the man dotes on his precious little sister, but your brother could kill me in a hundred different ways…with just his bare hands."

Amber was getting mad. Yeah she knew Patrick was tough but she did not like anyone saying stuff like that about him. This was not the best day for her. She opened her mouth as was about to argue with Jason when she saw Ran stand up and wave, "Over hear, Sam." Amber looked up and saw her girlfriend and gave a half smile. Sam walked over with a smile on her face, surprised Amber by kissing the top of her head, and sat down next to Jason. Sam was not one for open displays of affection. Amber smiled wide at her girlfriend. The blonde then pulled something out of her back pocket and handed them to Amber.

"Here, Amber…I got these for you…well us." Sam was actually blushing. Amber looked what was handed to her and squealed in delight causing the people around them to stare at her. When they saw it was Amber most just turned back to what they were doing. They were used to the strange girl acting weird.

"Sam! Oh I cannot believe it! So…so we are going?" The Goth asked excitedly.

"Well yeah, I mean that was why I was late. I had to get the tickets and the damn line was so long. I'm hungry." Sam replied. Amber jumped to her feet and kissed a surprised Sam on the lips.

"I love you so much! I'm hungry to…so what do you want?"

"Just a cheeseburger and fries."

"K…ohhhh and this weekend we get to go shopping for new dresses…this is going to be fun!" Amber said and walked to get their lunch. Ran looked at Sam and smiled.

"Good job Puckett…that was sweet."

Sam looked shocked, "What? And how come we need to go shopping this weekend? Homecoming is over a month away?"

Ran busted out laughing, "Oh you are in for a real treat now. You have never been shopping with her for anything like this have you? God, I remember when her and her mom and I went shopping for a new dress for her thirteenth birthday. I swear we went to every dress shop in a two hundred mile radius of the city and ended up back in the first one we went to and…now I swear this is true…she picked out the first dress we looked at. Hell it took us three weekends for her to decide on that first dress….God her mom and dad died two weeks later. I forgot how close to her birthday it was when they died. Anyway…you are in for a real treat, Sam. I may tag along just to watch you deal with it. Of course I will take my own car so I will not be stuck in a dress shop for five hours."

Sam rolled her eyes and then got a serious look on her face, "Ran…what were they like, Amber's mom and dad I mean? Every time I mention them she changes the subject."

Ran stopped laughing, "Well…they were cool…for parents I mean. No I take that back, they were cool for anybody. Her mom…God what a beautiful woman. So classy and ladylike. Ams' a lot like her in the way she looks and acts. I used to love being around her. Sometimes when I look at Amber I swear I am staring at her mom. And her dad…wow! Patrick looks just like him. Tall and handsome. Funny how Amber took after their mom and Patrick their dad. And so nice. He was very cool. They both were. But her mom…God what class. She would walk into a room and I swear people would stop and stare at her. Not just her looks, she just had something they picked up on and could tell she was a lady. I used to get jealous of Amber sometimes wishing my mom was like hers. Sam, don't tell her I told you 'cause she does not know I know this…but you know she lived with us for a while after they died…anyway…she was broken up pretty bad. She would try to hide it, but I knew. I would hear her in my mom and dad's room late at night crying. One time I snuck out of bed and spied on them and she was just sitting on the bed with my mom holding her crying herself to sleep. I found out later, by sneaking around, she would wake up with nightmares and my dad would carry her in the room and then go into the kitchen while mom would let Ams cry herself to sleep in her arms. She never said a word, she just cried while mom held her. Ams and her mom were very close…and funny how after I saw that…I…well I got closer with my mom. She never said a word about Amber and I found that…well…I respected her so much for that and seemed to love her more for it." Ran quickly wiped her eyes quickly, "Oh well…they were good people."

"Yeah," Jason added to spare Ran any embarrassment, "Her mom was very pretty. I used to love going over to Amber's house just to see her. I never thought about it until you mentioned it, Ran, but Amber does look just like her mother. I had a terrible crush on her, but it was her dad I liked the most…I mean I was a little afraid of her mom since I always thought she knew the thoughts I had about her….come on I was a twelve and thirteen year old boy, give me a break. But her dad was cool. I remember when he was going to take Patrick and my brother fishing and camping and I wanted to go so bad, but both of them said I could not go and I was sad. I was eleven. I remember sitting at the window staring at them…God it was about four in the morning…and they were putting their stuff in the truck. Amber's dad looked up and saw me and I got a little scared and jumped in back in my bed. About five minutes later my door opened and the lights came on and Mr. St Claire was standing there with my mom. I thought I was in trouble, but he looked at me and told me I had better hurry up and get ready since we were leaving in twenty minutes. That was one of the best camping trips I have ever been on. Mr. St. Claire was way cool."

Sam never knew some of these things and she felt a little resentful. Amber was very open about everything to her except her parents. Sam never knew her dad and while she loved her mom, she was never close to her. The three were sitting in their own thoughts when Amber came back with tray of food. She handed Sam her food and drink and sat down to eat her chicken fingers.

"Wow…did I miss something? Who died?" Sam, Ran, and Jason all burst out laughing at Amber's choice of words. It was laughter to make them feel better and not true humor. Sam picked up her hamburger and gave it an odd look.

"Amber! I told you a cheese burger, not a gilled chicken sandwich!" Sam screamed and the laughter continued.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Still Friends?

Sam and Amber walked back to school after lunch alone. Ran and Jason left early to make out a little before their next class. Amber wished Ran would see how much Jason liked her and date him, but her best friend was the queen of the loners. She hated being dependant on a person. If it was not for herself, Amber doubted Ran would have any close friends. It took a long time for Amber to make it into the Asian girl's circle of one. Amber also chatted aimlessly about the homecoming and the style dress she wanted to get and how much fun a shopping was going to be. Sam just rolled her eyes and only half listened. She was glad to make Amber happy, but her thoughts were on Carly.

Sam was going to go see Carly at her house this afternoon while Amber was meeting with her photo club. The thought excited her and scared her. She briefly wondered why Carly was not on the gym floor with the other cheerleaders this morning during assembly when Amber interrupted her thoughts as they got back to school.

"Samantha…pick me up around…oh six. I'll meet you in front. I love you." Amber gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and turned to walk away when she was pulled back gently by her arm.

"Amber, you be careful…I know what happened yesterday afternoon and I wish you would have told me. I am going to take care of it, but be careful. I know you have gym with Tiffany and Maria."

Amber's eyes grew wide, "Please, Samantha, I'm sorry I did not tell you. No big deal really. Don't do anything, ok! Promise me! I don't want to see you get suspended or expelled! Or worse…I don't want to see you get hurt! Promise me…please…and Ran will be in gym with me."

Sam sighed in disgust at herself. Before meeting Amber, she would have beat up any person that hurt someone she cared about, but Amber always clamed her down. "Ok…but Amber I am telling you, if they do one more thing so much as step on your toes I am going to beat the hell out of all three of them. And do not worry about me, I can handle myself." Amber bit her lower lip and nodded. She knew Sam could take the three easily, the girl did not have a reputation for being tough just by talk, she proved it many times. What scared her most was just the thought of fights. Amber hated fights and she also did not want Sam to get into trouble. Amber picked up on the fact that Sam said those three and not those four. The blonde excluded Carly. _Well, Carly may hate me and I hate her, but she really never took part in the physical torment…but still…_Amber thought it better not to finish the thought. She did not want to ruin a great afternoon.

"Ok…I promise I will avoid them. I will not even have evil thoughts about them." Amber smiled and kissed Sam quickly on the lips and went to class.

Sam watched Amber walk to class and had lustful thoughts as she watched her girlfriend walk away. _That dress really shows her ass,_ the blonde thought and then headed to her own class. In the class Sam once again thought of Carly. She was a little scared Carly and her would not be able to be friends again. She gave up on the romantic part a while ago, even if she did think about it often. She just really wanted her friend back, but there were a lot of factors involved now. The first was of course Sam was gay. _That was a large hurdle…but Carly did make the first attempt at reconciliation and Spencer said that she had been crying a lot over not talking to me. Maybe she is cool with it now…but still she owes me an explanation on why the change of heart and why she was not cool when I first told her._ Then there is Amber. _It was no secret around the school Carly and Amber did not get along and it goes way back before I started dating her or Carly knew I was gay. I never really had a chance to ask Carly why and if I even brought up Carly's name to Amber she would get quite in her passive aggressive way and so I just dropped it, but I am going to find out. Amber is a part of my life…at least for now, and the two need to get along if Carly and I become friends again. _Sam thought_. God, when did dating and friends get so complicated! Then my feelings for Carly. I need to control them or get over them. I do love her, I always have loved her even before I knew I was gay. And one thing Carly Shay is not and that is gay! She means so much to me, even if I am pissed at her, and I will take her friendship if I cannot have more, but again what about Amber? I do love Amber and she is so nice and caring and sweet…and the sex is incredible, but if she asks me chose between Carly and her…what do I do then? I hate to hurt her and well…she needs me. I see how much she needs me and…whoa…hold up girl! You do not even know what is going to happen tonight. One step at a time,_ Sam took a deep breath and tried to control her rambling thoughts.

The day passed slowly for Sam and finally three o'clock and the bell rang. She quickly went to her locker and packed her back pack and ran to the car. She told Carly she would be at her place at three thirty, plenty of time. I wonder why she did not go to cheerleading practice, Sam thought as she drove to the familiar apartment building. Her stomach was doing flips and she looked at her cell phone to see the time. _Damn, I am early…I did not want to be early_. She then noticed she had a text. She flipped her phone open and read the message from Amber – S **don't 4get 6 pm luv u A and I owe u 2nite 4 the hcoming dance…be ready 4 some hot sex I have special plan 2nite u will luv**

Sam grinned at the message and wondered what the girl had in mind. Amber could be a freak when it came to sex, but Sam loved it because she could as well. The Goth was always willing to at least try new things. Sam glanced at the time once more and decided it was ok to go upstairs. She waited at the very familiar door for ten minutes before knocking. _God, I have been here thousands of times. Why am I so nervous?_ Sam thought as she took deep breath and knocked three times. She briefly thought of running back to the car when the sound of the door unlocking made her jump. The door was thrown wide open and for a second Sam thought she had the wrong apartment because standing in front of her was a man she did not recognize at first until he screamed in a goofy voice.

"Sam! Oh, man, I am soooo glad to see you! You look great…hot actually if you do not mind me saying so. You grew up some. If I was not engaged I would so be asking you out!" Spencer yelled excitedly and scooped Sam up in his arms and hugged her tight. Sam hugged him back and felt her chest tighten and her eyes water. _Don't, Puckett…don't you dare cry!_ She scolded herself. Spencer put her down and pushed her back gently. "God, I am so happy to see you! I…we…missed you, Sam. Guess what, I am making dinner for you and Carly…spaghetti tacos! Then I have a date with my fiancée. God…it's good to see you, girl! Damn…I cannot get over how pretty you got…well I mean you were always cute…but you are so gorgeous …sorry Sam…I did not mean any pervy thing by it."

Sam stood there and let Spencer make his fuss, she enjoyed it, and it gave her time to calm herself.

"It's ok Spence. It was not pervy…just remember to keep your hands to yourself…you know I like woman not men." Sam giggled nervously and tried to gage Spencer reaction. The man just let out an honest laugh and Sam relaxed. "And it is great to see you to Spencer…really great. I missed you and your tacos." Sam hugged Spencer again and silently cursed herself for the emotion she was showing.

Spencer pushed Sam away again and Sam looked the man over. He mentioned how she had changed, but she noticed he has as well. His hair, which used to be uncombed all the time, was neat and stylish and he was dressed in a pair of well pressed pants and dress shirt. Sam thought he looked nice and even attractive. She grinned at him, "So…umm do I get to come in?" Spencer laughed and pulled Sam into the apartment.

"You know you don't have to ask. Carly is upstairs and will be down in a moment…don't tell her I told you, but she is so nervous…she acts like this a first date or something." Spencer laughed and made his way to the kitchen. He looked over his shoulder and saw Sam still standing by the door. "God, Sam, sit down…this is as much your place as ours…you know that."

Sam smiled at the comment and as she made her way to the couch she heard the voice of her one time best friend. "Spencer! Speeeencer! Tell me when Sam gets here! Are you listening to me! I…" Carly stopped her shouting when she looked down from the top of the stairs and saw Sam looking back at her. Both girls froze and Sam felt her chest tighten again as she quickly looked the girl over. Carly was dressed in a short jean skirt and red shirt. Her long black hair fell over her shoulders and her stunning black eyes suddenly filled with liquid. _She is so beautiful_, Sam thought.

"Hey, Carly…ummm…" Was all Sam could get out of her mouth before the tall brunette ran down the stairs, jumping over the last two steps, and leaped into Sam hugging her tight. Sam took a second before she hugged the girl back and she then noticed Carly's body was shaking and the other girl was crying. Sam finally lost it and hugged the other girl back harder and felt her own tears sliding down her cheeks. She placed her head on Carl's shoulder and smelled the brunette's hair, which smelled of jasmine, and inhaled. _God I love this girl_, she thought as the two girls cried. Their tears were a mixture of sadness of being apart for so long and happiness they were together again. Sam finally broke apart and glanced at Spencer, who rubbed his eyes and quickly turned around, and then back into Carly's wonderful eyes. Both girls then busted out laughing and hugged one more time quickly. Sam heard her friend mutter "I love you, Sam," and they broke apart again and stared at one another again. Sam's heart jumped a little with those words, but she knew it was meant to be, "I love you as my friend," so she quickly calmed down.

"So…umm…I guess we should…umm…talk. We really do need to talk about…well…things." Carly said nervously and shifted her feet on the floor.

Sam's smile faded and she wiped her eyes, _Damn right we need to talk! Just because we had a moment does not mean I forgive you_, she thought but instead said, "Umm…yeah I think so."

"Let's go to my room while Spencer starts dinner…you are staying right?"

"Yeah…I guess…depends on what time. I have to pick Amber up at six at school…so if we eat early."

Carly frowned at the mention of Amber's name, "Yeah…that should be ok. Come on." She grabbed Sam's hand and pulled her upstairs to her room.

Sam allowed the girl to pull her with her and when they got upstairs they passed the door that lead to their one time studio were they would do ICarly. The door was closed and Sam felt sad when she passed the room. Carly read her look and sadly told her it was now a game room and led the blonde to her bedroom. The room looked almost the same as it did last year, with the exception of a new poster of the latest boy toy from Hollywood in that new vampire movie, and she sat on the old bing bag chair she had sat in thousands of times in the past. It seemed so normal and seemed like it was just yesterday when she last sat in that chair. Carly sat on her bed and crossed her legs. Sam could not help but admire her long legs or have a dirty thought when the brunette innocently flashed her red panties before she adjusted herself. Carly cleared her throat.

"Ummm…so…ummm…I don't know where to start…funny huh? I am always the talker…ummm…well thanks for coming over first…and…Damn I missed you, Sam!"

Sam smiled, "Yeah, I missed you to, Carls, But…we do need to talk. I'll go first." She paused until Carly nodded her head for her to continue, "Ok…let's agree all the cards on the table. We may say some stuff that will hurt…but we need to say them and no interrupting each other. We both have things to say and they need to be said, deal? Good…ok…well…I want to know how come you suddenly got over your homophobia and want to be friends again. You freaked out when I told you. You of all people Carly! You were my best friend…more than my best friend! You were…well everything to me! You hurt me, Carly Shay! You hurt me bad!" Sam's voice got louder and cracked with emotion.

Carly looked at her friend with tears in her eyes, "I…I…I know, Sam…I…well first of all I am not a homophobe…."

"Could have fooled me!"

"Anyway…no I am not. It was just a shock first of all…I mean it was a big change for me…for both of us. I had visions of us double dating, finding boys together, discussing things like kissing or losing or virginity…which you also never told me…and going to prom together…stuff like that. And…I…I was shocked. I…damn it, Sam…I don't know how to explain it!"

"Well you need to!" Sam snapped.

Carly started to cry again and Sam felt sad for her and wanted to get up and hug her, but it was not going to be that easy. Carly owed her…owed her an explanation and owed her for the pain she caused her. Carly looked up after a long pause, "Yeah…I know I need to. I am trying to find the right words, I promise." _The right words are I want you to kiss me, Sam! I want you to kiss me all over, but I am so scared of these feelings! I am not as brave as you!_ But of course she did not say her thoughts out loud, instead "Ok…maybe if I take it from the beginning…You remember when we became juniors and agreed we would stop ICarly? We agreed we needed to grow up and get involved in other things. Well I wanted to be popular…and so did you, don't deny it. So we ended it and I tried out for cheerleading and got it and both of us started hanging around the cool kids. Sam…I liked it! I mean I really did. The parties, people looking at us in a different way, and being included in things…it was something I wanted…we both did."

"What does that have to do with me being gay and the way you reacted?"

"I am getting there…remember your rule, no interrupting. Anyway...things were going great until that day when Amber dumped her spaghetti on Maria for those jokes about her friend. You pulled Maria off Amber, told her you were going to kick her ass if she did not stop, and took her to the nurse…remember? Well things changed then. Tiffany and Maria talked about not including you in things anymore and…"

"Well what the fuck was I supposed to do? Let that Cuban bitch kill her. You saw it, Carly, Maria was banging her head on the floor. No one else was going to stop it and Maria was not going to stop! Amber could have been seriously hurt! What else was I to do?"

Carly sighed, "Yeah…it was terrible and I am not saying you did wrong. It was the right thing to do…I know that. Anyway…they did not want you in the group and then when you told me you were gay I…I knew if…if…" Carly started to cry again.

"Oh I see…being popular and friends with those bitches, that meant more than me, is that it! All those years…all those things we did…damn it Carly! I was your best friend! We…I…I loved you Carly…and you fucking hurt me! Hurt me bad! And you were popular! You did not need the cheerleading uniform or those other people! Hell, people at school loved you! You were…are…the most popular and beautiful girl in school!" Sam was screaming and Carly was crying.

"I…I know Sam…it was not because you were gay…and no because I was afraid I would not be popular. Of course you meant…do mean more to me than anyone else! You are more than my friend! You are part of my family! I just got confused because you told me and then I went to Mexico…and you did not even come with us! I tried to call you…every minute I picked up my phone to call…and I couldn't do it! Then I thought you would call me and you did not…I thought…Damn you Sam! You could have called me just as fast! It had nothing to do with those bitches! I hated them…hell I hate them now! They are so mean and cruel…but when you left me I had no one! Freddie is now a hotshot and doing Tiffany and you…you…you started dating that Amber bitch! I saw the day she asked you out! I hated she talked to you! I hated you went out with her! And then you got serious with her and…and moved in with her! I knew that meant you and her were…were having sex! Oh…I heard all about her and the weird things she does! I know she is a freak! Why didn't you call me! Why did I have to be the one to make the attempt to apologize! Oh I would have…I was prepared to beg you, Sam Puckett! I was going to beg you on my hands and knees for forgiveness. I hurt to, I cried every night for weeks! But I knew…I knew when you started dating Amber it was over for me! She hates me and I know she would not allow us to be friends!" Sam was standing up and staring at Carly with shock and fear on her face. She had never seen Carly like this. The girl was beyond emotional. She was like a crazy person rambling on about things that made no sense and pouring all her built up frustration at once. The brunette was standing next to her bed screaming and crying and spitting. Sam took a deep breath and grabbed her friends flailing arms and hugged her. Carly broke down and wrapped her arms around her friend and sobbed.

Sam just held Carly for twenty minutes while the brunette cried her pain out. Sam knew they were not done yet, but she needed the girl to calm down. During her ranting, Sam did piece a few things together but it was still unfinished. _Carly was the one who told me she could not be friends and then there is the Amber thing. I knew she disliked her, but I did not realize how much until now_, Sam thought and Carly finally pulled away wiping her face and nose on her sleeve of her shirt.

"*sniff*…Sorry…I…I got a little emotional and umm…crazy huh?…I…so umm…what now." Carly said as she sat on the bed. Sam sat next to her and grabbed her hand. She felt Carly stiffen and she quickly removed her hand.

"You see…that is why…damn Carly…that is what I mean. All I did was touch you and you jumped. You acted like I was trying to get into your pants or something. That is going to always be between us." Sam said calmly and thought just how much she would love to get into Carly's pants when she heard Carly laugh.

"You idiot, I pulled my hand away because I hurt it yesterday and when you grabbed it, it hurt. God…all the hugging I have been giving you and you think a little hand holding is going to make me run in fear that the lesbo wants my body? It is going to take more than that, Sam Puckett" _Please want me, want my body…please,_ Carly thought

Sam laughed as well and some of the tension in the room evaporated. "So…we still have to talk, Carls. I mean we still have some things that need to be discussed. Like why you said you could not be my friend and your deal with Amber. I am dating her and she is a part of my life." _But if you tell me you love me and want to be my girlfriend, I will dump her for you!_ She thought but knew that was not going to happen.

Carly sighed, "Well…about what I said…it was a poor choice of words. I did not mean it, Sam, I really did not. After I said it and you left…I…I ran after you but you were gone. I went looking for you in your normal hang outs but could not find you. I…I really did not mean it, Sam…I promise you! Please forgive me for that. If you cannot be my friend or forgive me for the other terrible things I did…please forgive me for that one thing…please." Sam looked into those black eyes that were pleading with her and saw the honesty and sincerity in them and she forgave Carly for those words.

"Ok, Carls…I do forgive you…as long as you don't cry again," both girls laughed, "I really mean it. I guess it was a shock for you and I did just blurt it out and all. I never wanted to lose your friendship, Carls…it means too much to me. You mean too much to me"

Carly smiled wickedly, "So…does that mean you are going to dump Amber?"

Sam laughed, "Slow down girl…Carly, Amber is my girlfriend and I care about her a lot. I never could figure out why you and her hate each other. She just tells me the two of you don't click and that's all. But there is something else. So what is it?"

Carly sighed and looked at her feet, "Ok…first tell me…do you…do you love her, Sam? I can see you care about her, but do you really love her?"

"Yeah…I do…well…sometimes…I mean she gets on my nerves sometimes with her little quirks, but yeah I do…most of the time I do. She was there for me Carly when I needed her. She helped me through a tough time when you and I…well when you and I ended our friendship. Yeah…I care about her. She is…she is difficult to explain. I…love her for the most part."

Carly smiled, "Sam, if you cannot say you love her all the time, then you are not truly in love…keep that in mind. Well…it seems so childish now, but hell we _were_ children. We were freshman and fourteen and her and I had a run in over something stupid one day. I remember she said something about ICarly being stupid when we were in class one day. You remember how they used to make us sit in alphabetical order? She was behind me, you were sick that day…I remember that. Anyway she asked where you were…yeah now I remember, she wanted to know where you were and I told her it was none of her business and to leave me alone. I did not want other people seeing me talking to a freak…remember how she was more into the Goth thing back then before she toned it down? So, I called her a freak and she said something about me being a web show dork and then I made a comment about her freaky clothes and telling her I could not believe her mother would let her go out dressed like that. I remember her telling me her mom and dad were dead and for some reason I said something like "well any mother would drop dead if her daughter dressed like a freaky whore." I know, I know…very mean and so unlike me…but she just made me mad. I cannot explain it, Sam, something about her just pissed me off. So then she just stood up and ran from the class. Remember how some of the other kids teased her that year…Tiffany and Maria and Keisha the most…and I guess I said some stuff too…not as bad as them. I did not mean the things I said. I always thought she was real pretty and would look better without all that crap on her face, and the next years she did. Remember she toned down the makeup and I thought she was beautiful…I still do…but I guess over the years we just grew to dislike one another. Freddie and I even featured an ICarly episode our sophomore year…you were away that week with your mom…about freaks at school and I did single her out…her and her friends." Carly chuckled, "God she was pissed…not about her own self, she could have cared less, but about her friends being splashed over the web and called freaks. She even confronted me the next day at school. She was so mad and I thought she was going to hit me, but Tiffany, Maria, and Keisha were there and made her back down. That's really it, Sam, it was just a mutual dislike that grew into hate I guess. Oh, don't give me that look. She was not all that innocent either. Remember when she wrote that short story the beginning of our junior year and it was published in the school paper because it got some special award for the city school system? It was a story of a dorky girl and her web cam show and how the host modeled me perfectly and the tech guy was Freddie. Funny she left you out huh? Guess she liked you even then…anyway I was teased terrible for that one, remember? She is not innocent in this and there were other things to."

Sam nodded and agreed it all started childish and escaladed to something more. She did remember the story and both her and Freddie thought it was hilarious, Carly did too until other kids teased her about it. She looked at Carly and took her hand again, this time without the other girl flitching away, 'Carls…she is my girlfriend and a part of my life. I am not asking you to like her and I am not going to ask her to like you, but accept her while we are together. She is a good person…hell to good for me. She is kind and caring and has a good sense of humor. It is like if you were dating a guy I did not like, I would try to accept him for you."

Carly smiled, "Damn, Puckett…when did you get so all knowing and wise? But Sam…she is not a good person. She is…she is a whore! I heard the stories about all the boys she had sex with and the girls. She even tried to get Wynn to pay her for sex. She is not good for you. You deserve better."

"Carls…don't call her a whore, ok. She is not a whore and those rumors are not true. Look who spread them."

Carly sighed, "Well there is always some truth behind rumors…sorry, I just don't want you to get hurt. I do care and love you Sam Puckett…regardless of what my actions the past summer may have said. From now on I am here for you for anything. And as far as Amber goes…I will try. But I swear she is going to make you try and choose between you or me. What then?"

Sam smiled, "Then I would have to get another date for prom. Maybe you could go with me?" _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes_, Sam thought. She wanted to kiss Carly so bad right now, but she knew she would not. She got her friend back and right now that was the most important thing in her life.

Carly laughed, "Why, Sam Puckett are you flirting with me?" She got off the bed, "Come on dinner might be ready." _Kiss me Sam, please kiss me…then what? Would I freak out? No Carly Shay…take it slow. You just got your best friend back so chill out._

"Cool…I'm starving and I have not had Spencer's famous spaghetti tacos in ages. Are you blushing Carly?"

"Come on, Sam…and no I am not." Both girls laughed and left the room all giggles.

The tacos were ready and Spencer left them to go out for dinner with his fiancée. As the girls ate they made small talk and caught up on things. Sam found out Carly quit the cheerleading squad, "I just grew to dislike them. They were mean. I…well…I don't like Amber…ok, ok…I'll think about trying, but what…anyway, I don't like her, but when they tried to beat her up yesterday…I wanted no part of that. I may not like her, but I do not want to see her get hurt." Carly explained to Sam. After they ate they just sat at the table and talked and laughed. To Sam and Carly it was one of the best times they had in years. Then Carly shocked her pretty blonde friend.

"Sam, what is…what is it like to have sex?" She asked blushing.

Sam spit her drink over the table and started coughing, "Damn…sorry…well…Carls…come on, you mean you never did it?"

"No I have not!" Carly answered in a huff. "I am sorry I asked."

Sam laughed, "Chill, girl…I was just asking. I mean I guess I am surprised. I thought for sure you and Mike had. I mean you dated him all summer from what heard."

Carly calmed down and smiled, "No…I let him do things…like feel me up and he tried to get me to give him a blow job, but I was not ready. So…tell me…what is it like? Does it hurt like they say the first time? Does it really feel that good when you…you know…cum?"

It was Sam's turn to blush, "Well…yeah the first time it did…with Nick…he was my first, but with Steve it did not hurt and we did it three or four times…Carly it is different. I mean I cannot explain how good it feels with a boy since I did not like it…much…and did not cum and when I met Lindsey that time…it was…God it was great and I did cum…a bunch of times and it feels better than people say. And then with Amber…don't crinkle your nose…it was even better and the more we did it the better it got. Why so curious, do you have someone in mind?" _Please say me, please say me, please say me._

"No…I…have not me the right person yet," _Except you, Sam,_ "and I was just curious. I guess I am a prude or frigid or something." Carly pouted and Sam laughed.

"Carly, I do not think you are a prude or frigid. When the right person comes along you will know. To tell let you in on a secret…I did not want to with Nick or Steve. I did it to prove I was not gay. Man, I was wrong huh?" Both girls laughed and Sam continued, "I…I regretted it Carls…with them I mean. Don't do it just to do it. And from my what I can tell, the more you care about someone the better it feels."

Carly smiled, "I am happy Sam…happier I have been in a long time. I have not just had a conversation with a friend where I felt my every word was being analyzed in a long time. Thank you Sam, thank you for…for forgiving me and for being my best friend." Carly's eyes started to tear up again.

"Hell I just came over here for the food…I did not know we were going to be friends again." Sam laughed and Carly joined in. "But seriously Carls…thank you too." Sam was about to help Carly clean off the table when she felt her phone vibrate in her cargo pocket.

"Oh Shit…what time is it?" She screamed as she dug her phone out.

"Six oh five…why? Oh yeah…_Amber_."

Sam read the text – **Hey babe…where ru?**

"Carls, I have to go…I did promise and hell it is her car…call you later, k?"

Carly put down a dirty plate and hugged her friend tight and Sam replied the same way, "You had better call me…Sam…Love you." Sam let go and ran out the door wishing Carly's love was more than friends.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – Lies, Doubts, Acquisitions, and the Break

Sam drove as fast as she dared to pick Amber up. She thought if she should tell Amber where she was or not and decided against it. She would tell the girl later when she and Carly worked out a few other issues. Overall she was very please she went to see Carly; it went better than she thought. She felt, and knew Carly did as well; the two could be best friends again. Sam secretly wished she could tell Carly she loved her more than a friend, but now was not the time. She knew their friendship was going to be delicate at first and she had to be careful. One wrong word or misunderstood action would ruin everything. Then there was Amber. "Oh, man, this is going to be tough. I love her…I know I do…but Carly was right, if I truly loved her I would not have any doubts. That makes sense. And what about what she said about those rumors. It made sense too. Is there any truth behind those rumors? Oh, I know Amber is not a whore and a lot of those things spread around at school are not true…but how much do I know about her sexual past. I mean…we agreed not to talk about our sexual past, hell mine is very little, but the girl sure does know a lot. Damn she even taught me some things…a lot of things." Sam talked to herself aloud all the way to the school trying to convince herself of her love for Amber and she was doing the right thing. Sam hated feeling guilty, a feeling she never had before.

When she arrived at the front of the school she saw her girlfriend sitting on the curb with her books open, her hair pulled up, and wearing her glasses. She was writing in her notebook. _Damn, she sure is a hottie,_ Sam thought and sighed when she saw Amber look up and wave excitedly at her. _She is going to be pissed I am late and I am not in the mood to argue, the day was just too good to let an argument ruin it. _Sam drove to the curb and Amber got in the car all smiles.

"Sorry I am late." Sam said without looking at her girlfriend.

Amber leaned over and kissed her on her cheek, "Its fine…I expected it. I have been dating you for a while and I know you well enough to know you would be late. It gave me time to finish some of my homework. What are we doing for dinner? I am starving."

Sam sighed in relief and turned to the other girl, "I kinda ate already…sorry I was hungry."

"Oh…it's cool…I…well lets just stop by The Den and I can get a sandwich or something…maybe soup…they have good soup." Amber said as she put her seat belt on. The Den was a local sandwich shop on the way to Sam's house. "So what did you eat?" Amber asked while Sam pulled out of the parking lot.

"Uhh…oh…umm…just some tacos, sorry I didn't wait but I was hungry."

Amber giggled, "Its fine…I missed you this afternoon. How was your day?"

"Fine, nothing exciting to talk about," Sam lied, "How about you? Any trouble in Gym Class?"

Amber giggled again, "No…I did not dress out, told Coach I was having cramps and he excused me so I just sat there doing homework."

Sam laughed, "That was good, but what happens when you do get your period? He may be dumb but I think he knows you don't get more than one a month."

"I'll worry about that later." Amber answered and went on about her day and asking Sam questions about hers. Sam was getting a little annoyed with the questions. She controlled her temper since she knew the real reason for being annoyed was guilt about lying to Amber. _Damn, I used to be able to lie and not think twice about it, but when it comes to her and Carly I never could do so with a clean conscience,_ she thought when she pulled the car into the sandwich shop parking lot. It did not have a drive through so Amber was going to go inside to get her food. Sam parked the car and turned off the ignition and waited for Amber to get out. The other girl opened the vanity mirror and frowned when she looked at herself. She then opened her purse and got out her compact and lipstick.

"You did not tell me I looked to terrible." She said as she let down her hair and shook it out. Sam glanced at her and her annoyance started to grow. Sam watched Amber reapply her make up and then brush her hair. _Why couldn't she just get out of the car like a normal person and go get her food instead of primping herself like she is going to do a photo shoot!_

"Damn, Amber…First you do not look terrible and second just get out of the car and get your dinner! Fuck…it's just a sandwich shop! You are not meeting the Queen of England in there! You don't have to be such a priss about it. Unless you think you are going to meet a future date or something!" Sam snapped.

Amber snapped her clutch purse shut and got out of the car. Before she closed the door she looked at Sam and stuck out her tongue, "Ok, ok, Miss. Impatient!" She said cheerfully and walked into the shop. Amber stood in line waiting for her order. She was not going to let Sam ruin the fun she had planned for tonight. She was thinking all afternoon of what she was going to do and she was extremely sexually aroused. Amber could sense something was bothering Sam and she would ask her later. The Goth girl knew her girlfriend and knew when not to pry about what may be brothering her until the time was right and right now was not a good time. Sam was in a dangerous mood.

While waiting for Amber, Sam pulled her cell phone out and found Carly's name and sent a quick text – **Carls, had a great time and C U soon! SP**

She closed the phone and was surprised it chimed alerting her to a new text. She did not expect Carly to respond so quickly or even to respond at all. She read the message – **Sam, me too & thank U…4 everything! U R the best! Call me when u can. CS**

She smiled and saved the message. Amber soon appeared and Sam apologized for snapping at her and the other girl cheerfully said it was ok and they drove home.

The girls got home and Amber went into the kitchen to eat her soup and sandwich while Sam turned on the television. Amber was disappointed her girlfriend did not want to talk to her while she ate, but she knew later Sam would be in a better mood. Amber smiled wickedly at the thought of what she was going to do, _yeah that will put her in a great mood_. Amber ate and went to take a shower and change.

Sam sat in front of the television not really watching it. She did not know why she was so irritable and felt bad about snapping at Amber when all the girl did was try to make herself look better. But her primping and girly acting started to wear on her nerves. She used to find it cute, but now it was just annoying_. I do need to apologize to her more…it was stupid of me to snap at her. And what was the deal with my last comment about her looking for a date? Where did that come from?_ She thought and then heard clicking on the hardwood floors behind her. She turned her head to see Amber walking into the living room wearing…_WOW! I have no idea what the silly girl is up to, but damn she looks hot!_ Sam thought as Amber walked in front of the chair Sam was sitting in. Sam just stared at her girlfriend.

Amber was dressed in a simple white button down dress shirt, tied in the middle to show her bare stomach; a blue and black plaid skirt that was so short the garters she was wearing were showing out of the hem; attached to the garters were white stockings; on her feet were black heels; her hair was in two pony tails that fell to the sides of her head and the two locks of her red streaks fell across each cheek; and her makeup was in perfect order as usual. She stood in front of Sam biting her right index finger and swaying back and forth like a child innocently explaining why she did something wrong. Her left hand was behind her back.

"Ms. Puckett…I…I have been a bad girl and was told to some see you to get punished." Amber said innocently.

It took Sam a full ten seconds to get over her shock before she knew what her girlfriend was up to. It took her so long Amber even frowned when she thought she made a mistake. But she smiled when Sam finally played along.

"Well, Amber St. Claire, I see you are in my office for a third time this year. I am afraid this time I will have to punish you with a spanking."

Amber, who quickly got back into character, shifted her feet in mock fear, "Please Ms. Puckett…I…I will behave, please don't spank me."

"No, my dear, you had two other chances. Now be a good girl, for once, and remove your panties."

Amber blushed, "I…I am not wearing any. I…I took them off before I came here…see." She muttered in a childlike voice and brought her left hand from behind her back and showed Sam her white cotton French cut panties.

Sam frowned, "See you have been a bad girl. Hand me your panties and come here and lay on my lap so you may get your punishment. I am afraid it is going to be strict and harsh."

Amber slowly made her way to Sam, handed the girl her panties, and lay down on her stomach so her butt was on Sam's lap. Sam placed the panties next to her and lifted the short skirt and took a sharp intake of breath as she admired her girlfriend's small well shaped tight butt. She ran her hands gently over the alabaster buttocks and heard Amber let out a small moan. The blonde then bent down and lightly kissed Amber's butt and ran her tongue seductively over the smooth skin. She suddenly brought her right hand down hard on the small buttocks. Amber let out a yell of pain and moaned in pleasure. Sam grinned as she felt the familiar feeling of arousal between her legs. She brought her hand down again hard and once more Amber yelped in pain. Sam took time to admire the red hand prints on her girlfriend's pale butt. She then gently rubbed Amber's butt seductively.

Amber turned her head, her buttocks burned with pain and her arousal increased as her eyes began to water. "Ms. Puck…Ms. Puckett…how many do…do I have to get?" She asked timidly.

"Fifteen more…you were bad. I was only going to give you ten but when I found out you took off your panties I had to add five more."

Amber felt a wave of fear rush over her, she did not expect that many. It was true the pain did excite her and increased her sexual stimulation but that did not mean it did not hurt and she had a very low tolerance to pain in general. But what excited her most was Sam's dominance over her, but still she did not know if she could take that many. "P…please, Ms. Puckett…I…I don't know if I can take that many."

"Well you should have thought of that before you misbehaved. Now it is going to get worse and you are going to scream and we do not want to bother my secretary so open your mouth."

Amber had no idea what Sam meant but opened her mouth in obedience. Her empty mouth was soon filled with her panties and she struggled to keep Sam from shoving them in more, but to no avail. Sam was much stronger than her. Sam held her tight while she pushed the panties into her victim's mouth and when they were in she once again caressed that beautiful butt. Amber cursed herself for not thinking of what could happen with her panties. She hated to be gagged and she also made the mistake of pulling panties from the dirty laundry hamper. They were the ones she had on yesterday and she could taste herself on them.

Sam brought her hand down hard fifteen more times on the naked butt of her girlfriend. She spanked Amber slowly and with purpose and had to hold the squirming crying girl down with all her strength. She was getting extremely turned on by the other girl's muffled whimpers and cries. When she gave the last stoke she looked at the cherry red butt and smiled. Her hand stung from giving the spanking. Sam then spread the girl's butt and inserted a finger in Amber's pussy. Amber let out a muffled moan as the finger went inside her. Her pussy was extremely wet.

"Why, Amber dear, I do believe you got turned on by your punishment. Does that mean you want more? Do I need to spank you again?" Amber squirmed and let out muffled whimpers and pleas for Sam not to spank her again. She could not take anymore. Sam laughed.

"Well…maybe not, but I see you are a very naughty girl. I think it is time to teach you how naughty girls can please others. Stand up!" Sam screamed as she removed the panties from Amber's mouth. Amber got to her feet in front of her blonde girlfriend and rubbed her sore butt. She had tears in her eyes and her mascara was running down her cheeks as she watched Sam quickly remove her pants, panties, tee shirt and bra. Sam slide down in the chair and spread her legs. Amber was extremely aroused.

"Come here, naughty girl and kiss me. I am going to tell you what to do and you will do it or you get spanked again."

Amber hesitated for a moment, not in fear or lack of desire, no she hesitated to admire the vision of beauty in front of her. Sam lay on the chair and her long curly blonde hair spread over the front of her chest to barely cover her breasts. Amber admired the small well shaped breasts tipped with light brown nipples. She admired the girl's well but feminine defined flat stomach. She admired the small patch of hair over the girl's pubic area. She admired the light tan skin of her girlfriend. Once again Amber was reminded of the beauty of a Greek goddess and thought there was no way even Da Vinci or D'angelo could capture anything as lovely as the naked girl in front of her. Her admiration was brought to an end when Sam once again told her to come to her.

Amber made her way to Sam and dropped to her knees and kissed the other girl. They kissed for a long time and as their tongues entwined in each other's mouths, Amber began to fondle Sam's light brown nipples. Sam gave a sharp intake of breath while Amber kissed her neck and continued to pleasurably torment her nipples.

"Ohhh…God Amber…more…kiss my breasts…suck them…ohhh yes." Amber started sucking the girl's nipples with delight. She moved from her left to the right and back again. She then felt Sam push her head down and Amber knew what she was to do. She kissed down Sam's body and when she got to the spread thighs her tongue ran up Sam's inner thighs, teasing and tasting. Sam let out a loud moan and pushed Amber's head into her pussy.

"Goood…Amber…I cannot take it…stop teasing me…eat me…eat my pussy." Amber smiled and brought her tongue to the folds of Sam's pussy and teased. After a brief moment she plunged her tongue deep inside Sam and felt the girl buck her hips to meet her and gasp in pleasure. Amber relished in the taste and pleasure she gave her beautiful girlfriend.

After twenty minutes of performing oral sex on Sam, Ambers tongue was beginning to get sore and her jaw ached. Sam had yet to cum and Amber had tried everything she knew. She played with the girl's clit, rimmed her ass with her tongue, penetrated her pussy with her fingers, used her tongue and hands in everyway she knew, and Sam had yet to cum. The blonde never took this long. From the sounds she was making, Sam seemed to be enjoying herself at first, but after a while Sam's moans of pleasure stopped as Amber continued. After s few more minutes Amber felt Sam pull her from between her thighs and let out a long sigh. Amber laid her head on Sam's stomach.

"Stop, Amber…I…I guess I am not in the mood anymore." Sam said as she reached for her tee shirt.

Amber looked up, "It's ok, Samantha…maybe…well…do you want to try other things? You can do things to me if you want. We could go into the bedroom." Her voice was timid.

Sam moved Amber's head so she could put her shirt on and muttered no. Amber frowned and tried to kiss Sam but her head was pushed away. "I'm not in the mood…sorry." She sounded a little disgusted.

"But…well…I…I'm sorry I could not please you…maybe if we tried…ouhhhh…let go! That hurts!" Amber yelled when Sam grabbed her arm tight.

"Damn it, Amber, I am not in the mood! I just don't feel like having sex tonight! Damn, girl, do you always think sex is the answer to everything…I mean it is all you ever seem…fuck! Just leave me alone!" Sam said and let go of Amber's arm with a hard twist, The Goth girl now had tears in her eyes as she rubbed her right arm and stared at her girlfriend.

"What…what does that mean! I'm Sorry you did not get off, but I did all I knew what to do! And what does 'I think sex is the answer to everything'? The answer for what, Samantha? Ever since you picked me up you have been in this weird mood and I have ignored it because I wanted to…ohhhh…I wanted to thank you for the homecoming thing! And…and you hurt my arm!"

Sam glared at Amber and the Goth girl flinched a little. She knew that look in those wonderful blue eyes and it scared her. People did not mess with Sam Puckett when she got that look in her eyes, but Amber was not just people so while she was scared she did not back down, "What…you going to hit me know? Was trying to break my arm not good enough for you?"

"Shut Up…you know damn well I would never hit you like that! I am just not in the mood…fuck…just…just forget it!" Sam grabbed her panties from the floor and put them on while still sitting on the chair.

Amber got up off the floor, "I'm going to bed…so…night." She got up and hesitated before leaving the room. She stood there looking at Sam, who had focused back on the television. Amber was waiting for Sam to say something…anything before she went to bed. After a moment the girl knew Sam was not going to say a word and she stomped into the bedroom. Sam ignored her.

About five minutes later Amber came from the room now dressed in her pink pajama bottoms and a white camisole. She was carrying a pillow and her blanket she had brought from home when she moved in with Sam. "I'm sleeping in the other room tonight…and…and…you should do your homework!"

Sam looked at her girlfriend and glared, "What is with this homework shit every night! Fuck, Amber, I will do it when I want. What are you my mother? Why do you care so fucking much if I do it or not!"

Amber glared back, her eyes were puffy, swollen, and red from crying, "I care because I want you to due good in school so you can…can go to college and I care because I love you!"

"Well maybe I don't want to go to college! I am sick of school and the bullshit! I am not like you, Amber; I am not smart like you so stop pushing me about college! I am not going! And…and how do you know you love me! What makes you so fucking positive you love me anyway? Hell, we are only seventeen and do we even…ahhhhh! Just forget it!"

Amber dropped the pillow and blanket and stood stunned for a full minute before answering, "You…you are smart! You can go…that is why I push you! And how do I know I love you…very simple, Samantha Puckett…I know I love you because when I think of you not being in my life I want to die! Just like I felt when my mom and…Aaaarrgh you can be so damn impossible sometimes!" Amber bent down and picked up her pillow and blanket and stormed off to the other bedroom, that used to be Sam's. She turned in the doorway, "And stop using that language with me…you know I hate it." Amber then turned and slammed the door.

"I'll use what any fucking damn fucking language I want to use." Sam mumbled to herself and turned back to the television. She used the remote to flip through the channels several times and finally threw the remote on the floor and looked at her school books sitting on the coffee table. Sam sighed and picked them up and started doing her homework. After about twenty minutes of struggling through her harder classes' homework she threw the books on the floor and went to bed.

On the way to her bedroom she had to walk by her old room which Amber now occupied. As she passed the door she could hear crying and she thought briefly she should go in and make sure Amber was ok and maybe even apologize. As her hand touched the door knob she heard her phone chime a special tone she assigned to that number and she knew she just got a text from Carly. Sam forgot about Amber and ran to get her cell and read the text – **Hey, I wanted to call U, but did not know if it would be ok since SHE was there. Guess what? My dad is coming back in town in three weeks! I am so excited and want U to come with us when we go to dinner. He is very fond of you and said I could not have a better friend…I agreed. Luv ya, Sam and call me…CS**

Sam quickly type in her reply – **I would luv to go…and glad you did not call. Rough around here tonight…very rough…anyway…tell you tomorrow…lets have lunch at Marco's…night and luv ya back SP**

Sam waited for the reply and it came quick – **Sorry things are rough ******** Marco's is great no one from school goes there…nite Sam and hang in there…CP**

Sam saved the messages, she just hated to delete them for some reason, and she attached the phone to the charger and went to bed. She was excited about lunch and talking to Carly about problems and things, just like it used to be. Sam did not forget about Amber in her excitement it was that she really did not seem to care at this point.

The next morning Amber woke and went through her normal routine in a daze. This was the first night since she moved in that she and Sam had not slept in the same bed when Amber stayed over. Yeah there were a few nights when she went to her apartment for the evening to just make sure it was ok, but never had they slept apart while in the same house. After she showered, put her makeup on, and got dressed she went to make breakfast being careful not to wake Sam up. She was tired and did not sleep well and stayed up until three in the morning crying and debating if she should just crawl into bed with Sam, but she did not. She felt Sam was out of line and she was not going to apologize this time.

Amber was sitting at the table sipping her hot coffee. In front of her was some sliced fruit and toast she had yet to touch, she was not feeling hungry this morning. She looked up and saw Sam walk into the kitchen. Amber smiled, "Good morning!" She greeted in a cheerful voice and pushed the fruit and toast across the table so it would be in front of Sam when she sat down.

"'Mornin." Sam muttered and sat at the table and drank her coffee and ate some of the fruit without saying anything else. Amber also remained quite. After they ate both girls gathered their books and walked to the car. On the drive to school neither girl said a word and Amber looked out the passenger window with her head to the glass. A single tear ran down her cheek as she stared at the passing scenes.

"Amber…I can't meet you for lunch; I need to finish that math homework." Sam lied. It was true she needed to finish the homework, but that was not the reason she could not make lunch.

Amber shook her head and sniffled, "Do…do…I can help." She said in a small voice still staring out the window.

"No, that's ok…Marty from class can help…you know that nerdy kid who loves math. I'll ask him."

Amber squeaked out an "ok" without choking on her emotions. _So this is how it ends, huh? We start like this and then it gets worse and then we end it. Ohhh…God please don't let her! Please God let us have something special…don't take her away from me too... please not Samantha…not her! Can't you see…I need her!_ Amber silently begged as she tried to hold back her tears.

When they got to school Sam parked and Amber jumped out of the car before the blonde had time to turn off the ignition. She muttered a love you to Sam and ran to the nearest bathroom to finally let go of her tears. Sam stood there for a moment and shrugged, "Probably needs to fix her lipstick or something. God forbid someone sees her with a hair out of place." She muttered and made her way to her locker.

Amber ate lunch in the school cafeteria that day; well she sat at lunch in the school cafeteria, instead of going out like the majority of the seniors. The only seniors left at school during lunch were the "nerds". She found an empty table and sat down. I few of the other students stared at her and the more popular lower classman (and class woman) gave her odd looks and whispered comment about her. Amber did not care; she was used to that by now. Some of the "outcast" students she knew would either wave or nod their head in her direction and received a small smile in return. A few waved for her to join them, but she just shook her head and made her way to the small empty table in the corner. She wanted to be alone. She sat down and stared at her awful looking food and promised herself she would not cry again. Amber did not eat anything and twice she had to tell boys to leave her alone and she would not go out with them. She wanted to be alone. Amber jumped when her phone chimed in that she had a text. Excitedly she reached into her small purse and pulled it out, praying it was Sam. She frowned when she saw Ran's name on the face of her phone. Amber flipped it open and read the text – **hey, you ok? Don't see u or Sam at lunch. She was quite in class and did not talk and even had the nerve to tell me to back off! Let me know if you are sick or need anything.**

Amber replied and her small delicate hand with perfectly manicured nails clicked over the phone keys expertly – **no, not sick. Sam had something to do and I wanted to eat in the café. Thanks…Ams**

It took a longer than normal for her to get a reply, Ran was not into text message and was slow when typing her messages. **K…hey guess what, Jason asked me to go to homecoming with him! Well he has asked me about a 100 times. I finally said yes, I like to see my boys sweat, maybe we could double? **

Amber relied quickly – **yeah…maybe…sorry have to run, need to finish something…ams**

Her phone chimed again and Amber sighed, she really did not want to talk or text or do anything right now. She opened her phone and read. **Ams, baby…u ok? What is going on? Call me NOW!**

Amber dialed Ran and it rang only one time before her friend picked up, "Ok, girl, tell me right now…what is going on?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me Amber. One you are not good at it in general and two you are horrible at it with me. Tell me, did…Amber I have to ask…did she hurt you and I mean physically? I ask because well…you know how she can be and what she has done."

"NO! She would never do that me," Amber lied, her arm was still sore, "and…and I resent you for saying it Ran! Samantha would never hurt me like that! I don't care what she did in the past, yeah she has a reputation for fighting and bullying and…and other things, but she grew out of stuff like that! How dare you insist she would hurt me! We just had a fight and it really is none of your business anyway!"

There was silence on the other end for about ten seconds and Amber finally heard Ran's voiced, which sounded shocked, "Well fucking excuse me for being concerned and caring about you! But since you don't want me to care or be concerned, I'll just keep my fucking mouth shut! And next time you and her have a fight, don't fucking call me to cry about it! And how dare I ask if she hurt you, I will tell you how come I dare, One- you are my best friend in the world…or used to be and I care about you a great deal! Two – I don't care what you say about her, I have been going to this school for four years and I know her and seen the same thing you have so don't tell me she is all chuckles and giggles."

Amber took a deep breath, "I am not going to be rude and just hang up, so I am going to tell you. I am done talking to you!" Amber clicked her phone shut.

Amber sat there thinking about homecoming and whether she was going or not or even if her and Sam would be dating by the end of the day. She then thought about her fight with Ran and regretted the things she said. Ran was her dearest friend and they were closer than sisters. She opened her phone and sent a text – **Ran, I am so sorry…forgive me? Luv Ams**

The reply came quickly, **ur words hurt ams…a lot…I need to think about it. **

Amber felt her emotions build up and thought she could not live without both Sam and Ran. _Who would be next, my brother! Is he going to call and tell me I am adopted and he does not love me either?_ Amber panicked as her imagination went wild when her phone chimed. She was a little afraid to look at it, but she did. **OK, freak, I thought about it…sorry it took so long but I needed time…I forgive you, but we need to talk…something's up…and none of your drama queen BS either! BTW, u owe me a nice expensive present for this…luv u too!**

Amber smiled for the first time that day, **thanks Ran…I mean that…as far as the present…I have no clue what you Vietnamese people like…maybe a pig or something. We will talk later…ams**

Amber thought of homecoming and did not know if they were going or not. She truly did not know if she was going to have a girlfriend then. It was still six weeks away. She did not even know if she was going to have a girlfriend by the end of the day. She felt her emotions get the best of her and got up and went to the bathroom, her high heels clicking on the hard floor. _God…sometimes being a prissy girlie girl is a pain_, she thought

Sam met Carly at Marco's, a small sandwich shop located not far from the school. The students avoided Marco's since it catered to the business men and women during lunch and the owner did his best to keep the kids away. Not that they really wanted to eat there. It was not a cool hang out anyway. Sam told Carly all about her fight, leaving out the more intimate details and kinkier parts, Sam knew Carly was a virgin and felt she would freak out about some parts.

"Sam, well…why did you blow up? I mean it sounded like you and her were…well…doing it…and you got mad." Carly asked turning red, "Is she that bad…with _sex_?" She added with a nervous grin trying to hide her embarrassment almost whispering the word sex.

Sam laughed, "No, Carls, it was nothing like that…she is rather good…well very good…well she is freaking awesome if you must know." Sam said making Carly blush deeper and enjoying the teasing of her friend, it had been a long time since she got to see Carly blush and tease her. "Hey you asked…but anyway, I just thought of the things you said about her and the rumors about her and all that shit and I got angry. Hell I should blame you?" Sam ended with a laugh. _Plus I was wishing it was you that was going down on me dressed the way Amber was!_

Carly frowned, she knew Sam did not blame her but she felt bad she may be the cause of their fight. She did not mean for her words to make Sam question her relationship…well not much anyway. "Sam, I'm sorry…I…I…wow…I really did not mean it that way. I only meant I did not want to see you get hurt and she has a reputation for well…you know casual relationships and one night stands and I even heard she was the toy of choice at one of those freak party's she goes to. I mean…have you and her ever discussed things like that?"

Sam smiled at her friend and thought how beautiful she looked today in her purple skinny jeans and black shirt, "Carly…she…she has not done things like that, that I am sure of! I have been to the raves and they are nothing like that…well to sometimes they can get out of control, but she would never do things like that. And no we really never discussed our sexual past, I mean she knows about the people I have been with and she told me the ones she had been with, and it really at all. But of course she could have not told me all the people. I mean…well…she knows things that…" Sam started to blush herself. She was never one to talk about her sex life to anyone including Cary, "ummm…she knows things that are wonderful and great, but not your normal things…know what I mean?" Sam saw Carly blush and nod her head. Sam really did not believe the rumors about Amber, but she was looking for something…_was it an excuse to end the relationship? Do I really want to break up with her? I care for her, and face it you are not going to have a shot with Carly. She is not gay so stop it_! She thought while Carly remained quite. _Amber is a great girlfriend, but should she be my great girlfriend?_

"Sam…Sam…snap out of it!" Carly said while snapping her fingers in front of Sam's face, "There must be something else. I never seen you so…so confused. What else happened?"

Sam explained the way Amber's constant primping and girlie way she acted was beginning to get on her nerves. She told Carly she used to find it adorable, but now it was plain annoying.

"Well, there is nothing wrong with trying to look nice…I do it. But not to the extent she does, that is true. But that is Amber…and to be honest with you…I kind of respect and admire her for that…please, just because I hate her does not mean I cannot appreciate the way she looks. She is a lovely girl…anyway…sounds to me the two of you have been spending too much time together. I mean you and her have been playing house for a while and that much time together in a relationship can get to anyone. Hell, Sam we are only seventeen! What you and Amber are doing is serious stuff. We are way too young for that."

"Yeah, maybe we just need a break. Chill out for a while. And she keeps pushing me to go to college and study and do my home work…that is pissing me off too. What if I don't want to go to college?"

Carly laughed, "Sorry…I am just picturing you doing your homework. You used to get the smart kids to do it or beat them up. Sorry…well you could go to college you know, I know you Sam better than s_he_ does and you are not stupid. Far from it! But college is your choice and if you don't want to go that is up to you."

"I know…you just don't have to live with her and listen to it. She can be…determined…a lot of the time."

Carly smiled and reached across the table and gasped Sam's hand, "Sam, you do not have to live with it either. Keep that in mind. Wow, we had better get back or we'll be late." Carly said looking at her watch and wondering if Sam felt the electricity she did when she held her hand.

Sam got up after the shiver of excitement coarse through her body when Carly held her hand…_did she caress it? No, no, no…stop being stupid. Be happy she is your friend again! Don't ruin it now_! Sam thought as she made her way to the bathroom. Carly picked up their trash and placed it in the trash can and waited for Sam. She thought about what she said to Sam and her hints about what to do and smiled. _Ohhh, Carly Shay, you are going to burn in hell for this…that was plain evil. Maybe being friends with Tiffany and her group did have some benefits…it taught me how to manipulate_.

The two girls walked back to the school very close to one another.


	11. Chapter 11

**Small Spoiler alert – Ohhhh…Sam is going to be so hated after this chapter!!**

Chapter 10 – Time for a Break.

The next three weeks were not very good for Amber or Sam. They argued more and more and Amber spent more nights sleeping in the guest bedroom. She thought she should have gone home to her place, but she was afraid. Afraid if she left Sam's place she would never be coming back. So she stayed and the fighting got worse. They fought over homework, sex, dinner, breakfast, the cleaning of the house, and everything else from little nonsense things to larger issues. Amber tried her best, she would walk around the apartment on "tip toes" but Sam always seemed to find something to argue about. Amber also noticed she would do little things to make Sam mad either for spite or just to get attention. When not arguing, Sam ignored her. Then there was the sex.

It had been a little over three weeks and they had not had sex in seventeen days (Amber kept count) and the last few times they did it was just physical release and desire for sex. Of course one week of that Amber got her period and a few days latter Sam got hers, but Amber doubted they would have had sex anyway. There was no passion in their love making. It was sex just to have sex. Amber was craving the need for sex and passion. She could have gone months without sex, she has in the past, but it was different this time. Living with a girl she loved and not being able to touch her or worse, when she tried she was rejected, and then add to the fact she was used to having sex with Sam almost every night at least four or five times, this no sex was driving her crazy. So when Sam did come to her for sex she was available just to satisfy her physical need even if her emotional need was unfulfilled. She tried to seduce or entice Sam, but would just get rejected. Amber pleased herself often, but it was not the same. The Goth girl realized that all the sex she was having with Sam in the past had turned her into some sort of nymphomaniac. She would spend a lot of time in the bathtub at night. The few times they had sex was only when Sam wanted to. Amber also noticed another change is Sam she did not like.

Her girlfriend became extremely jealous of her. Amber would just be talking to a boy or girl and Sam would get mad and accuse her cheating and threaten the other person. Amber hated this new side of Sam. The worse time Sam showed her jealousy was when Amber was eating lunch with Ran and Jason one day Sam was secretly eating lunch with Carly. Amber was sitting next to Ran and put her arm around her best friend and Ran had her arm around Amber. The Asian girl was comforting Amber about her latest fight with Sam. Sam walked up and saw the scene. She grabbed Ran's arm and threw it off Amber's shoulder.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Amber! Are you fucking Ran now behind my back!"

Sam said glaring at Ran and grabbed Amber's arm and pulled her up to her feet. Ran, who stood up, was facing the blonde girl. Ran was taller than Sam by about four inches and weighed more, but she was a little scared. She did not want to fight Sam for the obvious reason, Sam Puckett was a bad ass bitch when it came to fighting. But Ran did not back down. Under normal circumstances she would have walked away, but Amber was her best friend and she loved the girl and she was not going to let Sam bully her or Amber and no one touched Amber the way Sam did when Ran was around. Even if she was going to get her ass kicked she was not going to let Sam handle Amber like that. Amber let out a small squeal of pain and fear as Sam pulled her next to her, still gripping her arm.

"Let go of her, Sam! We were not doing anything and you know it! Hell, I am not even into girls and even if I was she would not be my type! She is my friend and if I want to put my arm around her I will! So fucking let her go…can't you see you are hurting her!" Ran yelled. Other students started to gather around expecting a fight. Jason took a stepped in between the two girls.

"Sam you and Ran chill out. And let go of Amber, I don't care what she was doing…which was nothing…you don't treat her like that!"

Sam let go of Amber as she pulled the Goth girl behind her. Amber almost fell to the ground. She looked at both Sam and Ran with fear in her eyes, neither girl was backing down. "Samantha, please…please don't. I wasn't doing anything. You know that…please…I would never…never cheat on you. You know Ran is my best friend." She had tears in her eyes and reached up to touch Sam's arm. Sam jerked her arm away and turned to face Amber. She just looked at her girlfriend for a moment and walked away.

Ran walked to her friend, but before she got there Amber ran after Sam calling her name. Jason put his arm around Ran and kissed her cheek, "Intense huh? Ran smiled at him, "Yeah…too much drama with those two lately…Those two have some serious issues to deal with. God, I thought she was going to kick my ass…scared me a little. Thanks for being there." Ran quickly kissed Jason on the lips and the two sat back down.

Later that day, Sam did hunt Ran down and apologized sincerely. Ran told her it was cool but to please never do that again and if she ever saw or heard Sam touch Amber again like she did at lunch the two would have some serious issues. Sam just mumbled out she would not and another apology and walked away. Ran always got along with Sam even before she started dating Amber. The two hung out with the skaters and while they did not know each other well until Amber started dating Sam, Ran never had a problem with the blonde girl. Ran was a jock and strong and tough, but she did not get into fights and Sam always scared her a little anyway. She knew, like most people in school, to avoid Sam when the blonde was in a dangerous mood. One time she saw a side of Sam Amber never saw, her dangerous side. She shivered when she remembered the day last year when it went around school Sam was gay and the blonde was being teased by some of the kids after school at the skate park. It was two jock boys on the football team teasing her trying to show off in front of a couple of girls. Ran remembered watching Sam break one of the boy's nose and jaw with her skate board and doubted the other one would ever have kids after Sam used her broken board on his testicles. Ran remembered the worst part of the incident was when the boy who Sam hit in the groin was on the ground, the blonde kept kicking him in the ribs until someone pulled her off. It was scary because Ran did not think Sam would have stopped until the boy was dead, she seriously thought that. When the police showed Sam took off and no one would tell them who did it and the two boys were not going to admit they got their butts kicked by a girl so they said they got jumped by two strangers. Yeah, Ran knew Sam Puckett was a bad ass, but no one was going to treat her best friend Amber that way.

That night was the night everything exploded for the two girls. The ride home was silent, dinner was silent, and after dinner the tension in the apartment was unbearable. Amber was sitting at the table doing her homework while Sam was watching television. Amber would glance up often and look at Sam. Finally the Goth girl could not take it. She took off her glasses, stood up, and walked over to the couch. She sat on the couch and stared at Sam for about five minutes. She knew the blonde was ignoring her so she finally spoke what was bothering her. Ran did worry that Sam hit Amber, but her Goth friend always told her Sam would never treat her like that.

"I cannot believe you accused Ran if trying something with me! Or me sleeping with her! You know damn well we are friends! And you know damn well I would never do that to you! You have been acting jealous…among other things…lately and it is not a pleasant side of you!" Amber said harshly. Sam just pressed the buttons on the remote to change the channel and turned up the volume.

"Talk to me, Samantha! Please. I am asking for something here. Tell me something…please, baby…I…I'm scared Samantha…I'm worried we are done and I…we…I'm scared I am going to lose you." Amber choked over the last part as emotions choked her. Sam threw the remote on the floor and glared at the Goth girl.

"Is that what you want? For us to be done!" She yelled and stood up.

"Don't…d…Don't throw this back on me! I have been trying and trying…and where are you going?" She asked as Sam walked to the bedroom. She turned her head.

"I have to pee…Damn do you have to be up my ass all the time?"

Amber did not reply and let Sam walk away. She was determined to get this worked out and she thought of the words she would use. She promised she would not let her emotions get the best of her. As she was thinking about her words she heard Sam's cell phone chime. She turned her head and saw it on the kitchen table. Normally Amanda did not snoop or pry, but something made her want to see who sent her a text. Amber walked to the phone and flipped it open. She froze. The _from_ name read Carly. Amber read the message – **Sam, lunch was great…thanks for buying…I cannot believe I left my wallet at home. Call me later and see ya tomorrow…you need to tell HER that we have been hanging out…it's the right thing to do…remember dinner with my dad next Saturday night…looking forward to it…a lot! CS**

Amber dropped the phone back on the table and her head was spinning and her heart was pounding. She turned when she heard Sam's bare feet on the hardwood floors.

"I…I know now why you have been…been acting like you have! Oh, God…it all makes sense now! How long have you been seeing her, Samantha…no wait! Let me guess…ohhh…three weeks maybe? I did not mean to read you text…well yeah I did and I am sorry. Unlike you, I don't like to lie and deceive people." Amber picked up the phone and tossed it to Sam. Sam caught it and read the text. She actually smiled.

"So what? So I am friends with her again! I have been friends with Carly way before I knew your freaky ass! What is the difference between me and Carly and you and Ran! Tell me that! Carly and I have been friends for just as long as you and Ran! Who are you to tell me who I can and can't be friends with, anyway? And yeah I lied and deceived you, but you have been lying and deceiving me since we started dating!" Sam walked last Amber and into the kitchen to get a drink from the refrigerator.

"I never said who and who you could not be friends with, Samantha! You have a lot of friends.."

"Fuck that…they all mostly your friends than mine and none of them know me like Carly does!" Sam interrupted. Both girls were in the small kitchen and standing close to one another.

"And you seemed to have a problem with my friendship with Ran today…that was stupid. You know Ran is straight and hell even if she was not, she is like my sister!"

"Just like Carly is to me…you can't have a double standard, Amber!" Sam lashed back

"I don't have a double standard! There is a big difference in my friendship with Ran and yours with Carly. First, Ran never told me she could not be my friend just because I liked girls like Carly did to you! Do you remember how that hurt? Do you, Samantha? I remember! I remember you being upset about it! And then there is…is…you…I don't…I know you are in love with her and will leave me in a moment for her!" Amber said rapidly. Sam looked stunned, _Is it that obvious?_ She asked herself.

"Please, don't be stupid! I am not in love with her like that. Yeah, I'm glad we are friends again…very glad. And I am not going to stop being her friend! Plus she is not gay!"

Amber wiped her eyes, "Well…I…I…we…you…ohhhhh! And…what do you mean I lied to you! Samantha I never lied to you or deceived you!"

Sam walked closer to Amber, backing the other girl up against the stove. He blonde lifted her hand and ran it through Amber's hair seductively. Amber tried to flinch away, but the stove held her in place. She turned her head in fear. Sam ran her fingers so they loosened the Goth's hair and it fell free. Sam then grabbed a handful and pulled back. Amber whimpered in pain, "Please…let go…ouch! You're hurting me…please let go…!" Sam then ran her mouth on Amber's neck and the Goth girl moaned in pleasure and her hands reached around and found the blondes butt and Amber pulled her close to her. Sam then kissed and bit Amber's neck, "Ohhh…please Samantha…please…ohhh I need you…God yes…make love to me…please!" Amber moaned out as Sam sucked her neck and kissed her ear.

Then Sam pulled the other girl's hair harder and brought her lips to Amber's ear, "Oh…never lied to me, huh! What about your sexual experience, huh? There is no way you now the things you do without fucking a lot of people! Hell you taught me some things! So, Amber, how many, huh? Ten, twenty, thirty? Are you a whore like those rumors about you? Are you? Where did you learn all those freaky things from, Amber?" Sam whispered harshly in her ear and then pushed her head back as she let go of the girl's hair. Amber stared at Sam in disbelief and shock. Tears were leaking down her eyes.

"How could you! You…you of all people! How could you call me that or…or…or believe those things about me! I…I cannot believe…you…" Amber took a deep breath and controlled her self. She looked at Sam, "I…I never lied about that to you. I know those things because…because when we started dating I…I…read about them so I could please you better! That is how. I read book after book on how to please you! And…and I never heard you complain! I never heard you tell me to stop when I did things with my tongue and fingers…I never heard you complain when you were spanking my ass when I was tied to the bed. Did I ever hear you complain when you fucked my ass! No, Samantha, you just love it and you know it! Is that the problem or is it that your precious perfect Carly thinks that stuff is freaky and now you do too? Well let me tell you something, Samantha Puckett, Carly Shay could never satisfy you like that! She would never let you tie her to the bed, gag her mouth, and allow you to do the things to her I did for you…and…and I did so willingly and with great pleasure! So maybe Carly could be your perfect little girlfriend and I'll be your whore on the side! How does that sound…hell I'll even let you pimp me out since you think I'm a whore anyway! You could make a hell of a lot of money on my cute little ass! At least then I would be having sex!" Amber was still pinned to the stove by Sam, but she was staring defiantly in the blondes blue eyes, "God…you have been acting bitchy for weeks now and I am finally glad to find out why! Now I ….Ouhhhhh….Shit….that really hurts….Stop!" Amber cried out as Sam grabbed her arm and put it behind her back and pulled it up.

"Don't ever call me a bitch!" Sam growled and her blue eyes went that dangerous cold color.

Amber cried in pain and fear and emotional hurt, "I…please Sam let go…awwwww it hurts…I did…I did not call you a bitch, I…said you were acting bitchy…but…ohhhh stop…but it is ok for you to call me a whore, but…but…it hurts…stop…I can't call you a bitch? Well…ohhhhh God…stop please…it hurts! You're going to break my arm…YOU BITCH!" Amber screamed out. At first she did not feel the pain. All she heard was the loud smack and then a split second of nothing and then the pain. The burning pain on the side of her cheek. She fell to the floor on her butt and looked up at Sam. Sam was staring at the palm of her hand and then to Amber and then back to her hand. She did that for a while before she said anything.

"Amber…oh God…Am…I'm sorry…I…I did not mean it...it just happened…" Sam was begging.

Amber slowly stood and rubbed her sore cheek. Sam did not hit her with enough force to actually knock her down, she fell more out of shock. Of all the times Sam was physical in their arguments, which were really not much until lately, Sam never slapped her. She never hit Amber in the face. Amber looked at Sam and announced she was going to bed. She turned and Sam tried to grab her arm gently but Amber just jerked it away and went to the spare bedroom.

"Amber…I…I didn't mean it…I swear! I'm sorry." Am yelled after her.

Amber turned when she got in the bedroom doorway with fresh tears in her eyes, "I know you didn't…or at least pray you didn't…but…but you still did it. Night, Sam." She walked into the door and slammed it shut.

Sam walked to her room slowly. She lay in the bed and thought of the terrible thing she did. Not that twisting her arm or pulling her hair in anger was not terrible but slapping her was the final straw. She did not know why she got that way. Yeah she used to get into a lot of fights but even twisting Amber's arm was uncalled for and horrible. She sighed, she knew Amber would never leave her regardless of what she did to the girl, but she could not live this way. She could not be like her father. What little she knew of her father was not good. She could remember nights when she was little when her dad still lived with them and she could remember her dad and mother fighting and the sounds of her mother crying and pleading for her old man not to hit her any more. Sam lost it when Amber called her a bitch. She remembered when her dad was around and he would introduce Sam to his friends or even strangers as "his little bitch". Regardless of where they were at she was always referred as "My little bitch." Sam was six when her dad split. Sam could not stand to be called a bitch. Sam thought of her dad and she refused to be him! Sam rolled over and a single tear leaked from her right eye. She knew it was time before things got worse. She felt an ache in her heart at the thought, but she had not choice. Sam knew it would only get worse and she knew Amber would never leave her. The girl would stay with her until Sam really hurt her physically. She did not know if she loved Amber anymore or not and she knew Amber was not a whore or a liar or anything else she called her tonight. But she did know Amber did not deserve to be hurt like that. Tonight was the final act that made Sam realize she may not love Amber. Amber deserved better.

The next morning Sam woke from only an hour sleep. This morning she did not need Amber wake her, she got up on her own. She smelled bacon cooking and knew Amber also had a sleepless night. She slipped on a tee shirt and walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Amber was standing over the stove cooking breakfast.

"Morning…coffee's ready." She said without turning her head. Sam poured her some coffee and sat down.

"Need any help?" She asked and could not help but smile when Amber chuckled, "You cook? Please…I don't feel like getting poisoned today."

"Amber…about last night…I am so sorry. I…I don't…"

"Do you want grape or apple jelly for your toast?" Amber asked ignoring Sam.

Sam sighed, "Apple." The girls ate their breakfast in silence.

Sam was driving as usual and Amber had her head pressed to the window and looking at the passing scenery. "Amber…Amber…" She heard Sam call her name and she grunted she heard.

"Amber, we need…I think we need a break. A break from us. It would be the best." Sam said.

Amber did not look at her girlfriend as tears ran down her face, "K." Was all she squeaked out.

Sam glanced at her and smiled in pity. She knew it hurt, but it was for the best. "Well…that was easy. Guess you felt the same way…especially after last night. I am truly sorry, Amber, that was out of line and never happen again. I promise."

Amber's head snapped as it turned to face Sam, "_Guess I feel the same way_? _Never happen again?_ Of course it won't happen again, you dumped me! And as far as feeling the same way, I would take _that_ every night if it meant you loved me! A break…funny how people say that, huh? Why don't you just say the words Samantha? Don't call a break up a break! I…I…know what it means…," Amber's voice changed instantly from angry to a heart wrenching pleading sound, "Ohhhh please Samantha…don't do this! Please…I…I need you, I can't…I need you so much! Please…we can work thing out! I…I…hang out with Carly…I don't care…just please don't do this to me! I love you so much Samantha! Don't you see that…can't you understand how much!...I…can't be without you! I…I can't live without you!" Amber broke down. She placed her face in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

Sam reached over and stoked the other girl's hair sadly. Her heart did go out to what Amber was feeling. "Amber, I know you love me and I care about you but I just don't know if…if I can tell you I love you. I need to work things out. I also know if we stayed together things would get worse. I hated myself last night for hitting you. I never felt guilt about any of my actions in the past, but I did twice in the past month. The first was talking to Carly without telling you. That was wrong. I should have told you and I am sorry for that. The second was hitting you last night. I…I will never forgive myself for that. And I know you would stay with me, but I can't do that to you. It would not be fair for either of us. And I didn't say we were breaking up. I said we needed a break from one another." Sam tried to comfort the girl and she felt pity for Amber as she just sat crying.

They got to school and Amber finally looked up. "I'm…going home…my apartment…I don't feel like school today." Sam nodded and gave her the keys. "I'll call you later…ok." Amber just sniffled and climbed into the driver side of the car. She rolled down the window, "Do…do you need a ride today? And…what about my stuff? I need to come and get…get…my…my stuff."

Sam leaned closer, "I'll catch a ride and tomorrow is Saturday…you can get your things then. And if…if you want…I can be gone and you can get your stuff when I am not there. That may be better."

Amber nodded and drove home. She got home and took off all her clothes in the living room and crawled into her king sized bed that used to be her mom and dad's bed and bedroom. She picked up her phone and found Ran's name and sent a text. – **Call…I need you!**

It took five minutes for Ran to respond – **Already on my way! I saw Sam this morning. Be there in about 5. Is the code still the same? **Amber knew she meant the code for the door so she could just come straight in.

**Yes…Ran…I don't want to live w/o her!**

Amber waited for the reply and she heard the door open and Ran call her name. She called out from the bedroom.

Ran walked in the room and hugged her tight. Amber laid her head on her shoulder and cried. Ran did not say a word and let the girl cry until she feel asleep. Ran was reminded of her mother and the times this same girl would cry on her mothers shoulder until she feel asleep saddened by another lose. Ran kissed Amber forehead and picked up Amber's cell phone. She searched the names and found the one she wanted and dialed. It went to voice mail: "This is Patrick…leave a message." The voice was strong and handsome sounding (well to Ran is was because she knew how handsome the man the voice belonged to was) and left a message. "Patrick this is Ran…Ran Isuel…anyway just to let you know, Amber and Sam broke up and she is pretty upset. No need to call me back…just wanted you to know. But…ummm…if you want…ummm you can call me back…just to say hi…well anyway…umm hi…I mean bye…damn…sorry…bye."

Ran cursed herself, why did she even call him? _That was stupid! I cannot believe I even called to worry him. I mean people break up all the time! Oh I am soooo stupid! And then that silly rambling… 'Call me back just to say hi' God I am so stupid!_ Ran hit her own forehead with the palm of her hand. She knew why she called him; she had a major crush on him. She had ever since she was ten, but Patrick but of course looked at her like another younger sister, if he looked at her at all. Ran looked at her friend and quietly left the room. She walked into Patrick's room and snooped around some, looked at his medals in a frame on the wall and had no clue to what they meant, but there was a lot of them and she was impressed, found nothing else interesting until she walked by his dresser and saw a set of military ID tags (dog tags). Ran stood there frozen in thought. Should she or shouldn't she. Ran grinned, she should and she picked them up and placed them in her back pocket of her jeans. _Oh man I am pathetic…I'll give them back. I promise!_ She walked back into Amber's room and saw the girl still sleeping and went into the kitchen to get a drink. There was nothing in the fridge or in the cabinets, which made sense since Amber had not lived here in months. Ran decided to go to the market at the corner and get a few things until she took Amber to the store later. She realized she was still holding Amber's phone and put it on the kitchen table.

Ran was unpacking the two bags of groceries, which consisted of green tea, milk, two boneless chicken breasts, rice, some vegetables, soy sauce, and other seasonings. She was going to make Amber stir fry for lunch. She grinned when she thought Amber was going to be pissed she did not get any coffee, but Ran did not drink coffee and thought no one else should either. As the Asian girl was putting the soy sauce in the cabinet she noticed the bottle had a leak in it and dripped over her shirt and jeans. She cursed, finished putting away the groceries, and then put her jeans and shirt in the wash. She noticed the sauce leaked through her shirt to her bra and took it off and added it to the wash.

Walking around the house topless, Ran went back to Amber's room and looked for a tee shirt. There were only a few tee shirts and three pair of panties and a pair of new blue jeans with the tags still on them. Ran giggled, "Hell, she probably brought these a year ago." She said out loud. Amber was not into wearing jeans. All of her other clothes were at Sam's. Ran looked at the tee shirts and knew there was no way they would fit her since Amber was a lot shorter and smaller in the chest than she was so she went back into Patrick's room. She found a red tee shirt with gold letters across the chest that read U.S.M.C and slipped it on and grinned at the thought of wearing Patrick's shirt. It was too large for her but comfortable. She thought she may ask Amber if she could keep it and use it to sleep in at night. She then walked back into Amber's room.

Ran got under the blankets with Amber and wrapped her arms around her sleeping friend. "Oh gross…your naked!" She said aloud and shifted the sheets so she would not be against the naked skin. She again wrapped her arms around her friend and kissed the back of Amber's head. "I love you girl…but when you wake up we are having a serious talk! You last message scared the shit out of me. You have some issues, baby girl, and we are going to deal with them today." She whispered in Amber's ear. _She has issues? Hell I clipped Patrick's dog tags just because they have his name on them and going to keep one of his tee shirts to sleep in…those are a major issues_. She grinned and drifted to sleep.

**Sam and Carly – **

As Amber slept Sam informed Carly in on all the details about what had happened. She convinced Carly to skip school with her and they went to the mall. Sitting at the food court Sam told Carly about the break up…or break…when she told Carly she slapped Amber, Carly looked shocked.

"Are you in the habit of slapping your girlfriends, Sam?" She asked sternly and with anger in her voice.

"No…I…I don't know what happened. It just happened. She called me a bitch and it happened. I did not even know what I was doing until it was over. God, Carly, I feel terrible about it. It…I was like my dad. I don't want to be like him, Carls. I can't stand myself right now."

Carly grabbed Sam's hand and held it tight, "Sam, I am not going to approve of what you did, it was terrible and wrong on so many levels. But I am sorry you think you could be like your dad…don't ever think that! You are not like him in anyway! You are a good person, Sam. A caring person, I know that. You are kind and loving and caring and…special, Sam Puckett, and don't ever let anyone tell you different! I know your good side and I am sure Amber does as well. You are not going to be like your father…never think that!" Carly was the only person besides Sam and her mother that knew about her father. Sam smiled at her friend.

The two spent the day together at the mall and to Sam it was like old times when she and Carly would go to the mall or other shops and hang out and just have fun. They laughed so hard at times Sam's side ached. It was a good day for Sam and Carly. Sam would think of Amber sadly on occasion and frown, but one look at Carly and her face would beam a huge smile. It was a great day for them both. Carly also enjoyed the good times and was reminded of how they used to be. As Carly was driving Sam home she looked at her friend and felt happy. Then she had two ideas.

"Hey, Sam…umm want to spend the night tonight? We can stay up late and sleep in tomorrow. We could rent a bunch of those terrible horror movies you like and have a movie marathon, make popcorn, drink a ton of Peppi Cola, maybe invite Freddie over for you to torment, and just hang out like we used to!" Carly asked very excitedly.

Sam laughed, "And have a pillow fight in our bra and panties after Freddie leaves?" She teased. Carly looked at her in a shocked way and then turned back to the road and had a focused look on her face. "Hey, Carls, I'm sorry…I…I was only teasing. I guess it was out of line and maybe a little too soon for those kinds of jokes. Umm…maybe spending the night would not be a good idea yet."

Carly turned to her friend with a stern look on her face, "Sam Puckett! How dare you! How dare you tell me you were just teasing…getting my hopes up and all!" She yelled in mock anger and then burst out laughing, "Sam…its cool. I was not at all offended with you terrible attempt to flirt…which was a little sad by the way. We need to work on that if we are to get you a new girl friend. But seriously, I was not offended. I knew you were checking out my hot bod all day, yup that's me…Carly Shay the hot bod, hot bod Carly Shay." Both girls giggled, "But you are spending the night, that is final." Carly said with her dazzling smile and Sam could not resist_. I wonder if she really knew I was checking her out…I need to be more careful_, Sam thought.

Carly smiled at the thought of a pillow fight with Sam in their underwear and felt a rush of excitement. _Damn, damn, damn…I wonder if I am gay or bi or just plain curious! That is why I cannot let Sam know how I feel. If it is just me being curious, 'cause face it you never thought of a girl that way until Sam told you she was gay, then it could hurt Sam. That is the last thing I want is to hurt her_, Carly sighed. _There is no one in the world that knows her like I do, including that freak bitch Amber, and knows the hurt she had suffered in her life. They don't know the terrible things she has gone through…hell it took over ten years for her to finally open up to me about them. No Sam, I am never going to hurt you again so I will keep my feelings to myself…and maybe one day the time will be right for me to tell you._ She looked at Sam again and thought how beautiful her friend was and then her second idea came back to her.

"Sam, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to homecoming with me. I don't have a date and you were going with Amber, and I assume you are not now, and thought it would be fun. What you say?"

"I don't know Carls. People would freak that a girl nominated for homecoming queen shows up with a lesbian…they would talk about you and trust me, that is not fun. Plus…I did promise Amber and even if I don't go with her…which I still may ask her at least to see if she still wants to go…it would hurt her more and I have hurt her enough already. I need to think about it…ok."

Carly smiled, _see she is a good person_, "Ok…but think about it. I don't care what people think about me…anymore…I am so over that nonsense."

Sam smiled, "Good…I did not like _that_ Carly Shay. Hey…how did you know I was taking Amber anyway? I never told you."

Carly laughed, "Ran told me…you know Amber's friend. She mentioned it to me when…well…I asked her about you the day you invited Amber…she told me."

"I did not know you talked to her. I mean…her being Amber's best friend and all."

Carly laughed, "Ran is cool…I like her. I mean I don't know her well, but we had a few classes together last year and have two together this year and we talked. Plus I ran across her at a couple of party's over the summer. Being the jock type she gets invited to the ones I went to…you know the ones the so called _popular kids_ go to…anyway…I saw her at a couple and talked to her because her and I were the only ones who _were not_ having a good time. She is nice. I mean we are not best of friends or anything, but we got along."

Sam nodded, "You did not like hanging out with the "in crowd" huh?"

Carly smiled, "Not really…they were so fake and could be mean…don't get me wrong, it had its perks and I did have some fun. I really liked the cheerleading part and I am going to miss it, but there was no way I could stay on the squad after I told Tiffany off…so I had to quit."

"Sorry…and you did look cute in the uniform…and no I am not flirting, just making a true statement."

They drove to Sam's house and got her things to spend the night, dropped into the video store and got several DVDs (more than they could watch in one night), got some stuff for dinner (mostly juke food), Carly called Freddie, and they drove to Carly's apartment. Spencer left a note telling Carly he was not going to be home. Sam was very happy to be with Carly again.

**Earlier that day **

Ran woke up with a pair of small delicate alabaster arms wrapped around her and looked at the clock and saw it was a little after eleven in the morning. She needed to get up and wake Amber as well. She untangled the other girl's arms and turned her body to face her. She ran her hand through the girl's long thick black hair and started to separate the two red locks from the rest of her hair. She made a mental note to braid them later. Amber looked good when two red braids fell across her cheeks and her long black hair spilling loose over her shoulders.

"Ams…Ams, honey…you need to wake up, baby." Ran nudged the girl gently and smiled when Amber stirred and opened her eyes. The Goth girl smiled sadly.

"Not a nightmare, huh?" She asked as she grabbed one of Ran's hands and clutched it tight.

"No, baby, not a nightmare…I'm sorry." She said as Amber moved her body closer to her and wrapped her arms around her again. Ran felt the smaller girl's body shake and knew she was crying again. She placed her own arms around Amber, not caring this time the other girl was naked, and held her tight. A few minutes passed and Amber took her head off her friend's shoulder and tilted her head to face Ran; the two girl's still hugging.

"Oh, Ran, what am I going to do? I cannot live without her. I don't want to live without her." Amber whispered to her friend.

Ran stroked Amber's hair again, "Hush…don't you talk like that. What would I do without you? I love you, Ams, and I would be sad if you weren't around. So stop being silly." Ran said in a soft kind voice, but in truth her heart froze in fear.

She was not an expert in these things, but she had a true fear the girl may hurt herself. Ran knew Amber has been through a lot in her life and she heard a few people say thing like, "So her parents died…it was five years ago, time to move on.", "She is not the only person to lose parents and they are not weird like her", etc. But Ran knew more than most people about her friend. She knew Amber and her mom were more than mother and daughter, they were so close Ran used to get jealous wishing her relationship with her own mother was that great. And her dad…well she was his little princess. She even had a great relationship with her brother, granted he was eight years older than her, but he protected his little sister. Their deaths struck her hard and then Amber changed into the Amber of today. It was not a bad change where she acted out in a rebellious manner, Patrick would have killed her for that, she just changed her fashion, makeup, from little Ms. Brunette Green Eyed Barbie to hard core Goth (something she toned down a lot their junior year) and started hanging out with the "Freaks" at school. That change caused the girl to receive a lot of torment from the more popular kids at school, more than anyone else got. Ran knew the reason was because if Amber had not changed she would have been one of the most popular girls in the school if not the most popular. She was amazingly pretty, charming, the sweetest person Ran knew, and just a lovely girl in general. On the outside, Amber never let all the ridicule and torment bother her, but Ran knew on the inside it hurt her a great deal. Then when she openly admitted she liked both boys and girls it got worse. Ran knew Amber did not become sexually attracted to girls after her mom and dad died, the Goth girl was making out with other girls since she was twelve. The Asian girl also saw another change in her friend. Amber became needy and obsessive in any relationship she got involved in. From the first girl she had sex with, that jerk of a boyfriend she dated for a while, and then Sam. She was even a little obsessed with Wynn…for a month until she found out the terrible rumors he spread about her. But Sam was different. Amber fell for her head over heals on their first date. Ran remember when Amber called her the next morning and told her Sam spent the night and she was in love.

Ran knew Amber had a crush on Sam ever since she was fourteen. She would make her watch that silly web show ICarly with her and comment how beautiful Sam was and go on and on about her... Amber would obsess over her and then they started dating and Ran did not doubt Amber loved Sam, but it was a love almost based on obsession and that scared her. Oh, Amber was not the stalking type or crazy girl type, but Ran did think her friend may do something stupid and scary and hurt herself now that Sam broke up with her.

Ran continued to stroke Amber's hair and looked in the girl's incredible brilliant green eyes. Their faces were very close to each other, "We need to get up, honey, and I…" Her sentence was interrupted as Amber's lips locked on hers. Her mouth was open while she was talking and she felt Amber's tongue slide into her mouth. Ran responded for about three seconds. During those three seconds she kissed Amber back and felt the other girl press her pelvic tighter to hers and then felt a pair of hands pull her closer as they slipped under her panties and grabbed her naked butt. Ran pulled her mouth off of Amber's.

"Amber…Ohhh…Amber." Ran moaned involuntarily as Amber started kissing her neck, "Amber, stop…you have too stop, please, baby. Ohhh, God…stop" Ran said softly as another moan beyond her control escaped her lips.

Amber continued to kiss and gently suck Ran's neck passionately mistaking Ran's moan as pleasure and permission. "Please, Ran, I need you…I need this…please…I need to feel you love me." Amber said in between kisses on the Asian's neck as the girl tried to gently push her away. Amber wrapped her legs around the other girl and continued to kiss her. She then slipped her right hand under Ran's tee shirt and found her breast and then nipple. She gently teased the nipple with her fingers and then felt herself being pushed away by the much stronger girl. She saw anger flash on Ran's face.

"What the hell, Amber? I told you to stop! Damn it…what are you thinking!" Ran said harshly and immediately regretted her words and tone as Amber pulled the sheets and blanket over her head and started to cry again. Ran knew what Amber was doing, she had a void that needed to be filled and for a moment she thought that void would be Ran.

"You…you hate me…I just wanted…needed for you to…to love me…I…you hate me too." Amber cried from under the blankets. Ran pulled the blanket and sheets from Amber's head and leaned over and kissed the crying girl on the forehead.

"Ams, I do not hate you. I could never hate you…ever. I…I am just not into girls and you know that. I love you, baby, I love you more than I would a sister if I had one."

Amber wiped the tears from her face, "But…but…why did you…I…you acted like you wanted me to at first. You kissed me back and even…I am so sorry, Ran…I…what is wrong with me?"

"Ams, sweetie, I kissed you back because I was…well…I was curious and you did not need…I mean to say is…I did not want you to feel rejected I guess. You don't need that right now. Baby, If I could I swear I would have sex with you to make you feel better, but I can't and it would be wrong. Lets say I am into women for a moment, how would you feel afterward? We would not date. You are in love with someone else and where would I be? It would ruin our friendship and that is more important to me than anything. Plus…well…lets be serious. You would so not be my type." Ran said with a large grin and Amber could not help but laugh.

"Oh and what would be your type?"

"Well…a girl who is not a klutz, more athletic, and ummm…I think a blonde. I think I would like blondes. Wow…never thought about it but I think Sam would be my type. Now that you and her are not dating; think she would go out with me?" Ran asked with a evil grin and got a pillow in the face.

"You are so mean! And I am not a klutz!" Amber said in a sad voice but could not help but laugh again. Ran had that effect on her. She liked to use humor to try and defuse a bad situation and was very successful at it. "Maybe you would not be my type either and Samantha would never be seen dating a Chinese girl anyway!"

"Yeah, honey, you _are_ a klutz. Remember when you were so into ballet? I would go to your recitals and wonder how someone so graceful on that stage could trip over her own feet when trying to run." Ran chuckled and Amber could not help but smile. "And, please…I am so your type and Sam would be all over me like you were. You round eyes cannot help but fall for us Asian girls" Ran said as she got out of bed and pulled the blankets off Amber. "No get some clothes on you perv and get up. I am hungry and I'm cooking lunch. I'll make us some hot tea."

Amber grabbed the sheets and pulled them over her naked body, "Tea? Why didn't you get coffee? Hey…what are you wearing…Oh you slut, I cannot believe it! You are wearing one of Patrick's shirts. I cannot believe you, Ran! Talk about being a perv. You were going through my brother's closet and stealing his clothes. I am surprised you are not wearing his underwear…Oh God, please tell me you are not wearing his underwear?"

Ran blushed, "_No! _ I am not wearing his underwear as you discovered a few moment ago. I spilt something on my jeans and shirt and put them in the washer. And of course your shirts are way too small…especially in the chest area," Ran gave Amber a condescending look and the other girl just stuck out her tongue at the Asian, "and I needed something to wear. If I had known you were going to try and get into my panties I would have put on an overcoat before getting into bed with you." Ran laughed as she dodged another pillow as she ran out of the room.

"Ohhhh God! I am so sorry, Ran…I'm never going to live that down huh?" Amber yelled after her

Ran stuck her head in the doorway, "Seriously, Ams, don't sweat it. I'll never mention it again. I promise. Also, you need to wash your face. Your makeup ran and you look like a raccoon." Her head disappeared and was back a second later as Amber was crawling out of the bed.

"By the way, Ams, no joking, you are an awesome kisser…Oh my God it was the best kiss I have ever had, seriously!" Ran commented with a blush and walked into the kitchen. She was not trying to humor Amber, it was the best kiss she had even if she did not feel anything by it.

Amber smiled and yelled, "Of course it was!" She walked to her drawer and looked at the only clothes she had in the house, besides what was laying in the middle of the floor in the living room, and put on a pair of white cotton panties and a old tee shirt with the words "Lords of Acid" written across the front. She was not going to wear jeans. It was nice to have her best friend with her, but she still felt like she wanted to die. Amber walked into the bathroom washed her face. She looked at herself in the mirror and started to cry again.

Amber calmed down and washed her face again and made her way to the kitchen. She saw Ran sitting on the kitchen counter in a sexy pose talking on the phone, her cell phone! Her legs were crossed seductively and she actually had her back straight and her chest jutted out like she was posing in Playboy. One hand was holding the phone and the other was twisting her long silky black hair. A habit Amber knew she did when nervous. Amber also noticed her she was blushing deeply.

"Who are you talking to and why are you blushing so much!" Amber asked loudly.

Ran turned her head to her and mouthed the words "shut up" and motioned with her hand for her to go away. Amber asked again who she was talking to, but Ran ignored her so Amber listened.

"Yeah that was her…sure you can. Oh, she just ran to the bathroom…no she had to pee I think." Amber stomped her foot and gave her a sharp look. "Of course…yeah she is fine…well sad of course, but I'll take care of her for you." Ran giggled like a thirteen year old school girl. Amber stared at her in disbelief. Ran never giggled like that. "Ohhh…thank you, you are sweet. So umm…when you coming home? Cool…oh that is great…ummm…you know I have a college scout from LSU calling me all the time. They may offer me a scholarship. Volleyball…that's ok I did not expect you to remember…umm." Ran giggled again, "Your silly…oh they are fine. They ask about you a lot. Yup…she does…we had lunch last Sunday…yup my parents and Amber and I. It was fun." Ran laughed, "Patrick you are so funny…"

"Patrick? Give me the phone, Ran, and stop flirting with him! And stop poking out your breasts like he can see them!" Amber squealed and Ran gave her a look of utter embarrassment and handed her the phone.

Amber's voice changed to that of a twelve year old, "Hey, Patrick…I did not know she called you…No she is being stupid. I swear she had the biggest crush on you...Ouch, Ran that hurt." Amber yelled at her friend when she slapped her shoulder. "I miss you too. Well…we have been having some issues lately and we needed a break from one another. I will…you too and come home soon, I miss you! No they have not sent a letter yet. Uhhuh…I got some…oh one was Vanderbilt! Yeah that was cool, mom would have loved it. I was thinking about Washington. Well yeah I know…but…but…Patrick stop, I don't want to go to Berkeley anymore. Do not…I promise. Ok, love you too."

Amber looked at Ran who was waving her hands to tell Amber she wanted to talk to him again, "Ran he has to go, he just got finished a twelve hour shift and is tired." She focused back on the phone, "Ok…I will…love you to. She's a freak so don't worry about her. She thinks you and her are going to get married one day." Amber laughed as Ran groaned and slid to the floor on her butt and placed her hands in her head. "Bye Patrick." Amber hug up the phone and looked at Ran and smiled, "Should have had sex with me and I would've put in a good word." Ran looked up and both girls burst out laughing.

Amber sat at the table drinking her hot tea and pouting it was not coffee. She watched Ran fix the stir fry. Both girls made a few jokes about Asian food or American food but now Amber was quite. She was thinking about Sam. The pain she was feeling was beyond anything she ever felt before…except once. She felt emotional pain when people at school teased her or played their cruel jokes on her or spread terrible rumors about her even if she appeared they did not bother her, but this pain was so much worse and felt like before. She never thought she would feel hurt like that night, but she was wrong. She felt it again when Sam said those four little words. Amber could hear them over and over in her mind, "We need a break!" those words haunted her just like the four words did a little over fours years ago. Amber's thought drifted to that terrible night.

She woke up to the sound of the door buzzer being repeated over and over. She looked at the clock and saw it was a little after two in the morning. She got up and put on a robe and cursed her mom and dad for forgetting there keys. She looked at Ran sleeping next to her and decided not to wake her. She was thirteen and this was the second night her mom and dad let her stay alone…well with Ran spending the night…but they were alone. Patrick was still in the Marines and in Afghanistan. Amber yawned and was about to press the button to let her parents in when she suddenly remembered her dad repeating over and over "Do not buzz anyone in until you know who it is. If you do not know them do not buzz them in." Amber yawned again and pressed the intercom button. "Who is it?" She said in a sleepy voice. The voice that answered was one she knew, it was the night doorman to the building, "Amber…this is Frank…ummm…I have two police officers down here who need to talk to you. Can you buzz them up please?" Amber hit the button and ran into her room to wake Ran. She got real scared.

"Ran, wake up! Ran get up…the police are coming up for some reason!" Amber quickly slipped on a khaki skirt and blue blouse.

Ran shot out of bed and started to get dressed as well. Slipping on a pair of jeans she turned to Amber, "What did you do?"

"Shut up! I did not do anything! I have no clue what is going on. Mom and dad aren't home yet either."

Ran was buttoning her jeans when she stopped and sat on the bed, "Oh God, Amber!...Oh God!"

"What? Hurry will ya, they'll be up any second and…" Amber froze when she saw the look on Ran's face, it scared her. The Asian girl face was pale. She looked up at her friend.

"You…y-y-you don't think something happened…to Patrick do you?" She asked in a shaky voice.

Amber froze in fear, "I…I…don't think so…don't they…I mean wouldn't they send some military guy or something?" After a pause of several seconds Amber realized she really did not know how it worked, "Ran…call your mom and dad, please. I…I'm going to call mom's cell." Amber picked up her cell phone that was on the night stand and dialed as Ran used the land phone in the room to call her parents. She got voice mail and hung up. She did not want to scare them. She turned to Ran, who was on the phone with her father.

"Yes sir,…no they are here now…Yes sir. I swear dad all we did was watch movies and eat junk food and go to bed…no we did not leave the apartment. Dad, please…she's scared…and hell we are both scared! What if it is Patrick! Please come over! Ok…yes sir. Thanks dad…love you too."

By the time Ran hung up the doorbell rang and both girls looked at each other, took a deep breath, and walked to the door hand in hand. Amber let the policemen in, after checking the peep hole and identification, and saw Frank was still with them. They introduced themselves and asked if they could go into the living room. Amber led them in the house and they asked if she wanted to sit down and she shook her head and clutched Ran's hand tighter. She looked at the tallest one who seemed to be in charge.

"Is my brother dead? Did something happen to Patrick?" She blurted out and the policemen looked at one another stunned and Frank quickly explained that Amber's bother was serving in the Marines over seas. They nodded and told her no, they were not there for Patrick. They asked one more time if she wanted to sit down and she declined again. The tall black officer, he was in charge, took a deep breath explained there was a car accident, it could not be helped due to the snow and ice on the roads, no one was to blame, and then those four words that haunted Amber, "You parents are dead."

The policeman went on the explain both her mom and dad died at the scene and went into more details on the crash, but Amber did not hear him. She let out an awful wail, let go of Ran's hand, fell to the floor, and was sitting on her butt with her face in her hands. Ran took a deep breath, walked to the phone, and called her house, "Mom, did dad leave yet? Ok…umm…you need to come too. I know he left so you need to drive yourself! Mom…NO…you need to be here! Fuck mother! Amber's mom and dad are dead so fucking get over here!"

Ran dropped the phone and tears started pouring from her eyes as the shock wore off and she dropped to the floor next to her friend and both girls held one another as they sobbed. The police were very nice and waited until Ran's father came, explained thing to him, and left. Moments later Ran's mother arrived and when she got there it was the first time Amber let go of Ran and she fell into Mrs. Isuel arms and cried harder. Mr. Isuel packed a few things for Amber and the four drove to Ran's house.

Patrick was contacted as the Isuel's made the funeral arrangements for them. Patrick got home in time for the funeral and got to stay two weeks before he had to go back. While there it was agreed Amber would stay at the Isuel's for as long as needed. Amber smiled a little when she remembered how Ran fawned over Patrick the whole two weeks and kept asking him if he was ok, did he need to talk, and she went with him everywhere saying he should not be alone. To his credit, Patrick was very kind to the much younger girl and Amber secretly thought he liked having the company and it made it easier for him. He even thought her stupid jokes were funny. She remembered the funeral and how he just stood there in his uniform and his face was as still and cold as stone. He never cried once where as Amber broke down like a baby. Of course she could not stop crying. Amber had never seen Patrick cry. He went back overseas and was discharged a few weeks later since he was the only surviving relative of a minor sibling and had to take care of her.

Amber sighed and looked at Ran and felt a sudden flood of great affection for her friend. She was always there for her. When her mom and dad died and now when Sam broke up with her. The good feeling lasted only for a moment as she once again thought of Sam. She felt the same way she did when her mom and dad died and Amber did not know if she could truly live through that pain again.

Ran put a plate in front of her piled with the stir fry, it smelled wonderful, and sat down with her own plate. They ate, Amber playing with her food until Ran threatened her if she did not eat she would force feed her so she ate a little. When done Ran cleared the table and the girls went into the living room. Ran sat next to Amber on the couch and held her hand.

"Ok, Ams, tell me what happened." She said kindly.

Amber told her friend everything, except the part where Sam hit her, and stared crying again. She told Ran of the problems they have been having since the start of school.

"…and it is all that bitch Carly Shay's fault! If it was not for her Sam would not have broken up with me!" Amber said with venom in her voice through her tears.

Ran smiled sadly, "Ams…I love you girl you know that, but I don't think she is to blame. It sounds like you and Sam _did_ need a break. You too have been living together for a while and that can get to anyone."

"No! It is Carly's fault! She…she…she took her away from me! I hate her!"

Ran sighed, "Baby, I…she is…Carly is not that bad of a person. I got to know her a little and she is actually a nice girl."

Amber looked at Ran harshly, "Oh…so you are on her side now! She is taking you away from me like she took Sam away! I hate that bitch!"

"Ams, that is nonsense. Nothing or no one can take me away from you. I mean that, Amber. I would never let anything or anyone come between us. Never!" Ran said with such fierceness Amber did not doubt her. The Asian girl sighed, "We…you and I…are going to have a talk. Remember I love you and some things I tell you may hurt your feelings, but they need to be said. I want you to listen to me…deal?"

Amber looked defiant but nodded her head. She owed Ran so much so she would listen.

**A/N – long I know, and I was not going to add the bit about Amber's parents but I needed people to understand the pain she is going through. Writing about a broken heart is hard for me since I never had one, no I am not bragging, just never felt the way Amber does before…wish I could through. Not the broken heart but being in love. It seems like a wonderful thing I have yet to experience. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N – I changed Ran's father's occupation. Originally her was an orthodontist. His new occupation is better for my story…as you will see later.**

**Chapter 12 – The Talk and Friday Night Plans**

Amber looked at her friend and mentally prepared herself for the "talk" Ran wanted to have with her. She thought it was going to be more a lecture on how there are plenty of people out there to date, she is going to college next year and there will be plenty of girls and guys for her to meet, how she knows she is hurting right now but it will get better in time, etc. Stuff she really did not want to hear. What she wanted to hear was how to get Sam back. Nothing mattered right now but that.

"Amber, I really need you to listen to me and remember regardless how mad you get at me about some things I say, I love you. Ok?" Amber nodded, "Ams honey, you got some issues you need to deal with…no listen, you promised…girl, again I love you, but, sweetie, this thing with Sam scares me. It scares me bad. You scare me bad. I know you love her, that was obvious and I think she loved you and may still be in love with you and I really think when she said a break she meant a break and not a break up. But, Ams, you are obsessed with her. You're obsessed with the Carly thing as well, and like I said she is not a bad person. Hell, Sam and Carly had been friends for about as long as we have and Sam never cared if we hung out and besides yesterday she never got jealous of our friendship. Imagine if you and I had a terrible fight and stopped being friends and a year later we decided to make up. How would you feel? If you were dating someone who did not like it, what would you do for me? I know I myself would tell that person they had to deal with it of fuck off. I would tell them Amber St. Claire is the most important person in my life and he would either have to deal with it or get lost. That is what you mean to me and Carly and Sam had the same thing."

Amber interrupted, "Yeah but we are different. I mean…first, you never told me we could not be friends when you found out I liked girls. Second, I love you, Ran, but not in a romantic or sexual way like the way Sam loves Carly. I know she does! And third, you never hated Sam like Carly hates me and would never try to break us up like Carly did Sam and me. I don't care what you said, that bitch told her to break up with me…I am sure of it!" Amber was waving her hands around while she talked.

"Amber, I am going to tell you something I never told you or anyone else. First, I knew you liked girls since we were in elementary school. I used to spy on you and Kristy Macklin way back in seventh grade making out. At first I got jealous since I thought you were practicing kissing with her and thought it should have been me you should be practicing with." Ran laughed and Amber chuckled, "But after a while when you and her kept sneaking off I realized you were not practicing but doing it because you liked it. I always thought she was the first girl you had sex with."

Amber looked up, "Nah…we fooled around and felt each other up and stuff…I did want to go down on her but she was too scared…well I was too and I was sorta glad she said no. I would not have known what to do." Amber laughed. "But that was all we did. You know who my first was…I told you."

"Yeah, but not at that time I didn't…anyway I was not bothered then. I thought you were just having fun and stuff. But when you told me you were into woman sexually, it kind of freaked me out. I could not understand how you could like both boys and girls like that. I mean I could not understand, was she gay? Was she just curious? I did not understand then. I never let you know it, but I did think…just briefly…what if she hits on me? What do I do then? Remember how I avoided you the next few days?"

Amber looked up, "Yeah, but you said it was because you got in trouble and were grounded. Why didn't you tell me? And I do like boys…sometimes…but prefer girls so I guess I am gay."

"Yeah I know now, but then…hell I had no experience in dating or anything. I never even kissed a boy until the end of our sophomore year."

Amber grinned, "Made up for it through huh? I told you when we were younger you spent too much time on the soccer field and volleyball court. Plus your mom and dad did not let you date until you were what…sixteen?" She finished with a giggle. Ran's mom and dad could be strict.

Ran laughed, "Shut up…anyway I needed time to think about what it meant for us. And after a few days I said the hell with it she is my best friend and who cares. But the point is, I had concerns just like Carly apparently did when her best friend told her she was gay. Do you see where I am going with this?"

"You…you should have told me…I…I never knew you felt that way."

"And what if I did, Ams? What if I would have told you that we could not be friends until I sorted things out? You feelings would have been hurt…just like Sam's…then we would have got into a huge fight and maybe never been friends again. See, things could have been different between us. Just like Sam and Carly. Yeah, from what you told me, Carly overreacted. She could have thought before she said anything, but she didn't."

"Yeah, but there is another difference…you do not want me in that way like Carly wants Sam. You did not break us up and never would have thought about it. You would have seen how in love I was like Sam was with me and not drove a wedge between us. I know…"

"Chill, girl, I do not see how look at it that way. Carly is not gay. What makes you think she wants Sam that way. Maybe she just wants Sam back as her friend. I think it upset her as much as it did Sam."

"Good! She deserves all the pain she can get! And how do you know she is not gay? She never dates anyone for a long time and face it…she is the prettiest girl in school and could get anyone she wanted. How do you know she is not gay?"

"Amber honey, you are looking for a reason to hate her. I have seen her mackin on guys at parties and she did not look gay then. Just try and understand Sam and Carly are friends like we are. And like I said, there is no way I would let anyone come between us and I know you feel the same."

"They are not like us! Carly hates me and never wanted me to be with Sam! It is all her fault! She is a mean cold bitch!"

"Baby, stop acting silly, Carly is really not like that. I got to know her a little and she is a nice person, truly. I know you and her have issues that go way back but have you ever thought why you dislike her…and let's leave Sam out of the picture right now."

Amber sighed, "Yeah she hated me ever since freshman year and called me a freak. And then she made fun of me and my friends on that stupid web show and then she joined Tiffany and her group and they made fun of me all last year and this year again. I mean…why me, Ran, why do they hate me so much! I just mind my own business and they won't leave me alone!" Amber started crying again. Her emotions were a train wreck and everything that hurt her came to the surface. Ran hugged her and the crying girl placed her head on her friends shoulder.

"Amber, think about the thing with Carly…you said and did things to her as well. Remember? You are the sweetest girl I know, truly, but you are so brilliant. I do not mean just smart, but you are truly a brilliant girl and you can turn that brain of yours to work on devious plots as well."

Amber grinned as she thought about some of the things she did, _well I did not start it…they did._

Ran continued, "I have no idea why they pick you out of all people to pick on the most. Maybe they are not used to anyone standing up to them like you do. I mean…you don't role over like a lot of the kids they pick on. And sometimes I think their jealous…yes and hear me out. They are jealous of your brains and looks. Don't look at me like that…yes your looks. You are a beautiful girl and almost every guy in school talks about you as being a super hottie. They are jealous of that."

"They do not...think I am a hottie." She muttered and looked up. Ran looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, silly, they do. Jason told me last week there was poll going around to the boys in their click that Tiffany started. It was to vote on the sexiest senior girl in the school. Tiffany started it herself thinking she would be number one, but she was not even in the top five and you beat her out. Oh she was pissed from what Jason said. By the way, you made the top five."

Amber chuckled, "That was a stupid poll…I cannot believe boys are so stupid. So…ummm…what number did I get?"

Ran laughed, "Number two actually. Stacy Holloway was three and Keisha was four and Sam was five." Ran frowned in mock sadness, "I was seven by the way. Tiffany was six."

Amber kissed Ran's check, "You should have been higher than me and Sam should have too."

"Yeah but Sam was not girly enough for them and maybe I was not either, they wanted feminine girls I guess."

"Umm…who was number one?"

"Well…you know I forgot…don't give me that look…you know who I am going to say…Carly was number one ok…God!"

"Figures…God I HATE HER!" She started to cry again and laid her head in Ran's lap.

Ran handed Amber a tissue and stoked the other girl's hair while she continued, "Ams, enough about Carly…you and her don't like one another, but she is Sam's friend and _if_ you and Sam will ever be together again you are going to have to accept it. And face it; Sam does not have many friends."

Amber muttered, "She had me…and you are her friend and Jason and…she ad friends."

"Yeah, I get along with her…well used to…and so does Jason, but I would not call her my friend and Jason feels the same way. I mean we don't dislike her or anything…of course I am mad at her for breaking your heart…but honestly Amber…she scares me a little and I am sorry she hurt you…but…well," Ran started braiding the red locks in Amber's hair as she thought of the best way to word her thoughts, "…I was kinda relieved when I heard she broke up with you. I was scared for you a lot of times. Sam has a horrible temper and…well she can be violent at times…I've seen it."

Amber sat up and turned her head to her friend, "No! She is sweet and wonderful and would never hurt me like that! You don't know her like I do…she is a wonderful person and very kind…"

Ran pulled her friend back to her lap and continued to braid her hair, "Ok…ok…sorry…but I need to talk about something else…seriously." Amber wiped her eyes and nodded, "Amber, you kind of scare me right now…well not kind of…you do scare the hell out of me right now. That text you sent and then the comments about not wanting to live without Sam worries me. I'm afraid you may do something stupid. When your mom and dad died, I could not and still cannot and will not even try to understand the pain you were going through. I loved your mom and dad, Ams, a great deal and I was hurt they died, but they were your parents and the pain you had was nothing I could pretend to understand. I saw what it was doing to you and my heart broke for you. At times I could not stand to watch you and I would leave to go play soccer or do something I knew you would not like because seeing you like that and knowing I could not help you was tearing me up on the inside. I would leave you to my mother because watching your pain was unbearable to me. It hurt me to see you like that. I would pray every night for two things, Ams, I would pray that you would feel better and for the pain you were feeling to go away and I also…also prayed that nothing would happen to my mom and dad so I would not have to feel the hurt you did."

Amber looked up at her friend and saw Ran's eyes were watery. Ran continued, "And I see that same pain in your eyes now. And it scares me to no end. I am worried you may try to do something…Ams, you love Sam but you are also obsessed with her and I'm scared that obsession is going to drive you to do something stupid." Amber noticed how Ran's voice cracked a little and she looked up and saw her friend was crying. Not sobbing or blubbering like she does, but tears made their way down her pretty face. Ran never cried. Amber saw her cry once in their friendship. That was when her parents died. Ran was not like her, she was tough emotionally and could take a lot. She sat up and hugged Ran tight and once again she was crying.

"Ran…I…don't cry…I would not do anything like that." Amber said and Ran thought it sounded a little too unconvincing. She squeezed her friend tighter.

"I'm afraid, Ams, I really am…I…can't lose you...I…you are my best friend and if you…just trust me…please. If things get that bad…talk to me…I…I cannot lose you, k."

Amber once again felt the affection for Ran very deeply. She knew they were best friends and loved one another, but she never knew Ran felt that deeply about her. She kissed Ran on the cheek again and hugged. "I…I…it hurts, Ran…I…it hurts bad and I miss her, but I promise nothing stupid, k."

Ran rubbed her hand up and down on her friends back in a soothing manner and she cried harder herself, "Ok."

Amber felt guilty she could not tell her friend that while she was in the bathroom washing her face she saw the old razor blade in the medicine cabinet. She could not tell Ran that she thought how easier it would be to break it open and get out the blade. How only a few cuts in her skin would end her pain and everything would be better. It would be that simple. But then the girl thought of how much it would hurt and the blood and mess and decided _no not that way…something that would not hurt or make me bleed…pills that would be the way I would do it._

Amber pulled herself away and wiped her eyes and let out a small smile, "No…I'm fine…I won't do that I promise…how could I leave you? I would not do that to you."

Ran wiped her eyes as well and smiled, "Good…'cause I need someone to help me convince your brother he loves me." Both girls laughed. Ran stood up, turned, and stretched. When she did her tee shirt rose up to uncover her panties. They were blue high cut cotton panties with lace on them and formed her well shaped butt perfectly. Amber turned her head and felt deep shame about the thought she just had about her friend after the conversation the two just finished. She stood and walked in the kitchen. She felt a little better, still heart broken but at least the awful thought of what she was seriously thinking about was gone. She owed Ran so much.

Ran walked to the washer and put her clothes in the dryer and found Amber in the kitchen cleaning up. She turned and smiled at Ran. _Even in an old tee shirt and cotton panties and with red puffy eyes and a red nose, she is still so beautiful and graceful…as long as she does not try sports_. Ran thought. _Yeah Amber, I lied, if I was gay you would soooo be my type_.

"So this is the plan. When my clothes get dry we are going to my house and hang out, watch TV and let my mom and dad fawn over you, eat diner, go to the football game, and hook up with Jason and maybe hit up a party. How's that sound?

"Well…I could stay here…I kind of want to be alone. Hang out with me for a little while longer through. I'm not in the mood for parties and I have never been to a school football game in my life so why should I go now? Plus all my makeup and clothes are at Sam's house."

"Nope! We are doing my plan…and not another word. We can skip the party and just come home after the game. You have jeans in your room…don't give me that look…God then wear what you did to school. No one saw you wearing them." Ran knew her friend well and knew the girl never wore the same outfit to a social function that she wore to school the same day and God forbid if she wore the same outfit twice in the same two week period. "And we will buy you some makeup today…k?"

Amber started to get annoyed a little, "Ran, I told you I am fine…I don't need you to baby sit me…my God what are you going to do…put me on a suicide watch or something." Amber let out a fake giggle.

"For your information, that is exactly what I am doing and if I have too I will hide every sharp item I can find and take all your shoe laces and belts and hide them. You are coming with me…plus mom and dad would love to see you and have you spend some time with us."

"I don't own any shoes with laces…they are tacky." Amber muttered and surrendered to her friend. It would be good to have the company and she adores Ran's mom and dad. They were so different than her parents. They were somewhat stricter with Ran than Amber's mom and dad were to her and somewhat traditional in their Korean heritage, but Amber thought Mr. Isuel had a great sense of humor and would have her laughing for hours. Ran's mom was not as out going as her mom had been and demeanor in her personality, but she was a loving and caring woman who Amber relied on a great deal in the past. Amber thought Mrs. Isuel was a beautiful woman where Ran got her looks from. As much as they tried to get her to call them by their first name, Amber still referred to them as Mr. and Mrs. Isuel.

"Ok…gesh…I will stay with you for a while…but if you think you are going to get me to put out for you, forget it! You had your chance!"

Ran laughed, "You would only be so lucky…So where do we go to buy this special makeup of yours anyway? I know you of would never be caught dead buying just your everyday makeup at the local pharmacy…" She stopped and looked at Amber. Both girls heard the loud clicking clanging noise that sounded like it was coming from the wash room. Amber gave Ran a curious look as Ran's eyes went wide.

"Oh shit! I forgot!" She yelled out and ran to the wash room

"Forgot what? Ran if you break my dryer so help me…" Amber ran after her and let out a cry of pain as her leg hit the corner of the door and she stumble. _Yeah, maybe Ran is right, I am a klutz; _shegot up quickly and was not hurt much. Amber got to the washroom and saw Ran bending over with her head in the dryer door and her hands sorting through her clothes and drove another inappropriate thought from her mind as she saw her friends panties ride up her butt crack. "Got it!" Ran exclaimed and jumped when she heard Amber behind her and turned with her hands behind her back.

"Got what? What is that, Ran. What are you hiding?"

"Nothing…just something I had in my pocket." She said blushing. She knew it was silly, but she did not want Amber to know she _borrowed_ her brother's military tags.

Amber stomped her foot, something she did when mad or frustrated. "Show me, Ran! If it was _just something_ you would not hide it!"

Ran looked at her feet and brought her hand from behind her back and held up the dogs tags by their small metal chain.

"Those aren't…please tell me you were not trying to steal those from Patrick's room…Please tell me…" Amber burst out laughing and walked back to the kitchen and said over her shoulder, "And you think I'm obsessed. You can keep them, those are his old ones….and keep the shirt as well." Amber was still laughing when an embarrassed Ran walked into the kitchen, wearing Patrick's dog tags around her neck.

"Amber…I…I can't help it…I have a huge crush on him!" She screamed out when Amber looked at the dog tags.

"Ran, trust me, if I could, I would make him love you…I swear! I mean he could not get a better girlfriend than you." Amber turned around and grinned evilly, "By the way, did I tell you Ashley called, you know his fiancée? Well they broke it off and he is single again."

"ARGH AMBER! Why get my hopes up!" Ran stormed off to the bathroom. And Amber giggled. She was glad her friend was around; it helped ease the pain…a little.

Later that day, the girls were on their way to Ran's house, having gone by the department store that sold Chanel products to get Amber her makeup. She made a list and gave it to Ran along with some money. She refused to walk into the large department store without any makeup. Ran rolled her eyes, called her silly, and went to get the items Amber needed. Amber was dressed in her clothes she wore that morning, a plain black pleaded skirt that came about 3 inches above her knees, a simple white low cut blouse with lace around the top, and black thigh highs with a seam running up the middle of the legs. Over her thin silk blouse she wore a short black leather jacket.

Ran and Amber walked into the kitchen door of Ran's home around five that evening. Mrs. Isuel was standing over the island in the kitchen cutting vegetables and the pleasant smell of a well cooking dinner flooded their senses. Amber remembered it was Friday and that meant she was cooking a traditional Korean meal, something she did every Friday night. Mrs. Isuel was a small petite woman, about an inch taller than Amber, and Amber thought she was very attractive and wise. The woman looked up and smiled at Amber and frowned at Ran.

"Hey, mom…what's for dinner…I'm starved." Ran greeted her mother with a charming smile and then looked at the stove, "Oh, come on…I don't eat pork. I hope you also have chicken cooking." She complained.

Mrs. Isuel put down the small knife and glared at Ran and said something in Korean. Ran replied back in the same language. Mrs. Isuel spoke perfect English, but when she scolded Ran…and even her husband…she used Korean. Amber understood a few words she picked up when she lived with the family. She understood the words, room, clean, guest, school, and her name. The rest of the words she could not understand. Amber giggled because she knew Ran was in trouble.

After a short conversation that ended in Ran saying "yes m'am" to her mother, Ran turned to Amber as Mrs. Isuel left the kitchen.

"She's mad because I did not clean my room or make my bed this morning and I have to go make up the guest room for you." Ran said in an exasperated voice and rolled her eyes.

Amber frowned, "I thought I could just sleep in your room…I mean…I normally do when I stay over." It suddenly came to Amber. She had never spent the night since she introduced Mr. and Mrs. Isuel to Sam as her girlfriend. She new they did not approve, but they supported her. Amber felt a little worried and uncomfortable. Amber wondered briefly how her mom and dad would have reacted. Patrick was cool with it, but of course in his eyes his little sister could do no wrong.

Amber never really thought about what her parents would have said; she just took it for granted they would have been ok with it. But would they have been? Would they have blown up and disowned her, would they have disapproved but supported her like Ran's mom and dad, or would they have been completely accepting of her and her choice as Sam's mother had been of her. She was snapped out of her thoughts by Ran calling her.

"Ams…Ams…Amber...you zoned out, girl. Of course you can sleep in my room. God, you know mom; she has to show proper etiquette for a house guest, _even if it is just you_, and that means offering the spare bedroom and having it ready." Ran suddenly laughed, "You did not…oh that is priceless…you thought she would not let you sleep in my room because she would have thought the evil worldly lesbian would corrupt her innocent daughter…oh how funny!" Ran grabbed her stomach she was laughing so hard.

"Shut up!" Amber replied with a smile. She did feel foolish.

Mrs. Isuel came back into the kitchen and handed Ran a blanket, sheets, and a pillow. She then walked up to Amber and pulled the girl into a tight hug.

"Welcome home, child…you have been gone to long. We missed you around here." Amber felt a rush of emotion and the warm comfortable feeling she always had in the home returned to her. She looked past Mrs. Isuel's shoulder and saw Ran rolling her eyes. Amber smiled and stuck out her tongue. Ran stormed off in mock anger muttering how her mother loves another girl more than her own child.

Mrs. Isuel pushed Amber away gently and held her at arms length and gave her a hard but friendly glance up and down. "Let me look at you. You are not wearing too much makeup…that is good; you have the same natural beauty as your mother and should show it off and not cover it up…ohhh it is wonderful to have you over again for a while." Mrs. Isuel said and hugged the girl again. She spoke with only a slight accent.

Amber smiled, "It is good to be here. Maybe I should help Ran clean her room and make up the guest room."

"Nonsense. You stay here and talk to me while I cook. And you can help; I remember you always liked to help in the kitchen."

Amber smiled, "Yes, Ma'm, I would love to." She looked at the kitchen doorway and saw Ran standing there with a frown on her face.

"That is not fair," she pointed at Amber, "she should help _me_!"

Amber stuck out her tongue again when Mrs. Isuel turned and said another phrase in Korean and Ran stomped off with a loud groan of displeasure. Amber giggled. It was good to be here again. True, she had met Mr. and Mrs. Isuel for dinner on occasion and lunch on occasion over the summer, but she had not been in this house for months. She had forgotten the joy of being around this family…any family. It made her feel good and warmed her heart and made her forget about Sam for a moment. Ran had been right; she did need to be here.

"What are we having for dinner? It smells wonderful." Amber asked as she cut up some vegetables per the instructions given to her.

"We are having a soup with chicken, rice, and vegetables; some kimchi…don't worry I remember you hate it. But my husband loves it." Mrs. Isuel walked close to Amber and leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Don't tell him, dear, but I am not fond of it myself." She giggled and Amber smiled, "And then we are having as the main dish Jajangmyon…and since my daughter does not eat pork…she says it is not healthy for her…I am fixing her some Shigumchee with chicken. God forbid she eats something unhealthy. I was raised eating pork and things she would not dare put in her body and do I look unhealthy to you." Mrs. Isuel stood back and twirled around. Amber thought she looked great.

"No, m'am…you are as pretty as ever…and dinner sounds yummy…except the kimchi…what time do we eat?" She was actually getting hungry. She ate very little today.

"Six thirty…Hu-Ran said you and her are going to the football game to see that young boy Jason play." Amber knew when Mrs. Isuel said six thirty; she meant six thirty and not a minute over. She ran a strict household. Amber giggled at the use of Ran's full name; no one including the girl's father used her full name.

"Yes, m'am…she wanted to go."

"Tell me about this Jason boy. Is he a good boy? Ran says they are just friends and not dating, but he calls her a lot…even at times when a young man should not be calling a young lady…he is polite to me and her father," Mrs. Isuel giggled again, "but I remember how polite Byung was to my father when we dated. He sure fooled him." Amber giggled herself. Byung-soon was Ran's dad. Amber liked him a great deal.

"Well…Jason is a good boy. I have known him for about five years. His brother and Patrick were best friends and were in the Marines together. Jason is a good boy, Mrs. Isuel, but I really don't think Ran likes him as much as he likes her."

Mrs. Isuel nodded, "I heard your brother called off his engagement. That was good, the girl was not right for him."

"Yeah she was a bitch." Amber heard Ran say as she walked back into the kitchen and grabbed some raw vegetables off the island counter, placed some in mouth, and sat down on a stool in front of the island.

"Hu-Ran, that is a terrible word to use and a terrible thing to say!" Mrs. Isuel scolded her daughter.

"Sorry, mother…but she is." Ran replied.

"Yes I know, but still you should not call the girl that."

Amber grinned, "Yeah, Hu-Ran, that was an awful thing to say. Ran, is just mad, Mrs. Isuel, because Patrick did not ask her to marry him." Amber ducked as a slice of green pepper flew at her head.

Mrs. Isuel glared at Ran for throwing the pepper and then smiled. "Yes, Hu-Ran has been very fond of your bother for a long time. I remember when you were…let me think…you were twelve, Amber, and Hu-Ran was having her thirteenth birthday party, which is a very special occasion in Korea, and Patrick came to drop you off. Hu-Ran had a beautiful traditional white dress on that day with right gloves, remember?" Both girls nodded and Ran was giving her mother a mean look. "And Hu-Ran saw Patrick's car coming up and stood in front of the mirror straightening her dress, fixing her hair, and even pinching her checks to give them a blush color. Well the poor girl was so excited and hoping Patrick would think she was pretty in her new dress…and I suspect since she was now thirteen she dared to hope he would see her in a different light…she came gliding across the grass so gracefully and looking so beautiful and then she tripped and fell right in a large hole filled with mud and water. Her father was having some landscape work done. Remember, Hu-Ran, how your white dress was black with mud and you had mud all over your face and in your hair." Amber busted out laughing.

"I forgot that…oh that was hilarious. And up until today I thought you were happy to see me, but it was my brother you wanted to see." Amber said laughing

"MOTHER!" Ran groaned. She then stood and grabbed Amber's hand, "Come on…I need your help in picking out an outfit for tonight." She pulled Amber out of the kitchen. When she got to the kitchen entrance she turned her head and added, "Something that makes me look sexy so Jason will want to ravish my innocent body with his worldly ways and place his manhood in certain areas of my virgin body."

Mrs. Isuel yelled something in Korean after Ran and smiled as she watched the two girls make their way to her daughters room. It is good to have Amber in the house again. They missed her. _She is such a charming and delightful girl and looks and acts just like her mother_, Mrs. Isuel thought. _But I can see the sadness in her eyes. Poor child she does not deserve anymore hurt in her life._ Ran called her earlier and explained she had broken up with her girlfriend. Her and her husband had met Samantha and generally liked the quite blonde girl and had seen how in love Amber was with her.

Ran pulled Amber through the house and the Goth girl almost forgot how huge the home was. Mr. Isuel was the owner of a successful chain of sporting good stores in Washington and Oregon and was planning on expanding to California once he found the right person to run the stores for him in that state. Amber knew he constantly asked Patrick to come to work for him for that reason, but her brother always declined stating he was not an office person. Mr. Isuel even told him her would pay for his college if he agreed to come and work with him. Amber wished her would and added her own pressure to her brother. Once they got to Ran's room, which still had an unmade bed, Ran throw herself on her bed and groaned.

"God, I forgot how much my mom dotes on you and worse, dad will be home soon so you will get the princess treatment. At least you being here will take some of the pressure off of me. Just you wait, Ams, after a week or so living here again and she will be all over you too. 'Amber, you are wearing too much make-up; Amber, that skirt is way to short; Amber, do you really think that would be a good choice of a boy…oops sorry…girl to date.' Ha…I cannot wait!"

"Hush, I love your mom and dad. And for your information I am not opposed to dating boys. True I prefer girls, but if the right one came along I would date him. I do find some boys attractive." She ignored the part about living there for weeks. Amber truly hoped her and Sam would be back together in a few days. She turned to Ran's closet and opened it. "Now let's find you something nice to wear tonight." Amber rummaged through the closet and through Ran's drawers, "Yuck…this may be harder than I thought. How many pair of jeans and sweat pants can a person own! I need to take you shopping."

Ran laughed and rolled to her stomach and placed her hands under her chin, "Ams, I could care less what Jason thinks of my clothes…it is not my jeans he is interested in but what is under them."

Amber sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. After a pause she turned to Ran, "Ran…do you think my mom and dad would have been ummm…ok with me liking girls?"

Ran sat up, "Yeah I really do. You mom and dad were pretty liberal and I think they would have been cool with it. They may have been disappointed about you not being able to have a big wedding and having their grandkids…but I think if they saw how happy you can be with another girl they would have been fine. Why do you ask?"

Amber shrugged, "I don't know, just curious. And just to let you know, I still may get married to a boy and have kids. I want kids. Like I said if the right one came along I would date him. I am not a total dyke you know. I think some boys are hot. And I don't have to be with a man to have kids. There is something called medical science you know. And some states have same sex marriage." Amber paused, "I used to think about Samantha and I getting married and having kids."

Ran put her arm around Amber and knew the girl was going to start crying again, "Sorry, Ams…you have it bad, huh? Hey, lets go down stairs and wait for dad. I'll bet you he is late and we can watch mom yell at him. I'll even interpret the curse words for you."

Amber giggled and the girls went downstairs to wait and watch television.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N – I needed more Sam and Carly interaction so here it is. I know I have been adding Amber's brother in more and more, and I do so on purpose. I am modeling him after my own older brother who was killed in Action while serving in Iraq while in the Marines. I was 14. I like to think if he lived he would have been like the Patrick in the story.**

**Chapter 13 – Friday Night Lights **

**Sam and Carly**

Sam was sitting on the couch in Carly's apartment surfing through the channels on the television and glanced at the other girl, who was standing in the kitchen talking on her cell phone and making some snacks. Carly hung the phone up and looked at her friend with her black eyes. Sam thought Carly's has the second most beautiful eyes she has ever seen. The first belonged to her ex girlfriend. The blonde thought her eyes, long thick black hair, and pale skin gave her brunette friend a haunting erotic look. Sam could not deny that Carly's reputation as the prettiest girl in their high school was well deserved.

"Freddie is going to the football game, but will be over later. He made me promise I would not let you torture him." Both girls chuckled. "And he said he heard about you and Amber and was sorry."

Sam shrugged her shoulders, "When did he stop being such a dork? He is actually kind of cute now. But that does not mean I will not torment him, I missed that." She grinned evilly and Carly laughed as she walked to the couch and sat down with a bowl of popcorn.

"Yeah he changed. Did you know he broke up with Tiffany? They broke up about a week ago." Carly said and grabbed the remote from Sam's hand. "Do you remember when you kissed him?"

"He told you…Oh I am going to kill him! He promised he would not tell anyone!"

Carly laughed, "Come on, Sam, he used to tell me everything. Remember how he thought he was so in love with me. He got over that fast when Tiffany started putting out for him. Anyway, he told me the two of you kissed and said you were an awesome kisser."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah that was my first kiss also…maybe it was Freddie that turned me gay?" Both girls laughed. "Seriously, he was nice to allow me to kiss him…of course he enjoyed it too. And do not tell him I said he was nice. So why did you bring that up anyway? It was a long time ago."

Carly shrugged, "No reason…just making conversation. Umm…so want to watch a movie."

Sam shrugged, "Sure…hey Carls…if this is not cool with you I could leave."

"Why would you say that? I don't want you to leave." Carly said in a worried voice.

Sam smiled at her friend, "Well when you first found out Spencer wasn't going to be home after you invited me over to spend the night the first thing you did see if it was ok if we invited Freddie. Then when we first get here you dial Freddie up and invite him before you took your coat off. Now you just seem uncomfortable with me alone here…like I may try something with you."

Carly sighed, "Sam…seriously I do want you here…hell I'm happy you're here, I swear! I'm not uncomfortable because you're gay…I swear that too…I am a little uncomfortable because we lost so much and I don't know what to say and then I think of the terrible thing I said to you about not being able to be your friend and I feel so guilty about it. Then there was the horrible way I acted when I thought I was so cool with the in crowd and all. I…I don't know how to act, I guess. I mean, when I mentioned you and Freddie kissing I thought in my head how stupid of me to mention Sam and a boy…she does not like boys. I feel I have to walk on eggs shells or I'll make you mad and you'll leave me again and we will not be friends anymore." Sam thought Carly really sounded upset about that.

"Hey, Carls…I forgave you for that…so enough of talking about it. I am glad to be here too…very glad. I guess I am uncomfortable as well. I don't know what to say either. It is going to be hard for us at first. But think how interesting it will be…when we hang out I can point out the hot girls and you can point out the hot guys. It will add diversity to our friendship." Both girls laughed. "I think we just need to chill out and talk like we used to and do things we used to."

Carly smiled, "Ok…I am glad you are here. I have missed you so much. Life was dull and boring without you around…and…_you are my best friend_." Carly picked up the DVD cases and spread them out like a hand of playing cards, "So…which one…you pick and then we order Pizza." Sam went to pick one and Carly pulled her hand back, "Wait…not Saw…not Saw…not Saw." She repeated as she rubbed her hands over the cases like she was wording off an evil curse. Sam laughed and picked one. It was Saw V. Carly groaned.

"Ok…but seriously…you may have to sit close to me while this one is playing." She looked at the smiling Sam and grinned at her last statement. "Sam…are we going to be ok…do you think we can be like we used to?" She then asked in a sad voice.

Sam looked at her and smiled wider, "Yeah, Carls, we are going to be fine. We may have a few glitches to work out, but we're going to be fine. As far as being like we used to…I don't think so. Too much has changed, but I will tell you this…not being like we used to does not mean we are not as close as friends. It just means we both have changed and got older and it can mean we are better than before. I love you Carly Shay, and you are my best friend and that is not going to change. Hell it never changed. Even when we weren't speaking you were still the person who knew me the best."

"Even better than Amber? I am sure you and her got close…well that was stupid, of course you did." Carly said and Sam could detect a little scorn in her tone.

"I never told Amber some of the things you know about me…that may have been one of our problems. Don't get me wrong, Carls, I loved Amber a great deal… and I still care about her now. She was…well good for me…But we grew apart I guess and I never felt I could totally open up to her like I did with you. You know…Amber's a sweet girl, Carly, she is very kind and caring and a good person to be around. She is…well…just Amber." Sam laughed, "She is hard to explain. She can be…oh…unique…I guess that is the right word. And I mean that in a good way. And…and I feel bad about what I did…not just when I slapped her, but breaking up with her." She paused and looked at her friend, "I…I feel like I used her…I mean…damn, hard to explain…I mean…you come back into my life and out she goes. I made it seem like I kept her around to replace you and then when you are back I get rid of her…I know that does not explain it like I want, but it is how I feel."

"Yeah, I understand…and I really hope you did not break up with her because of me." She saw Sam shake her head, "Good…and remember Sam it took years for you to open up to me so don't beat yourself up about not opening up with her. You know, I used to be…still am I guess…jealous of her." Sam's eyes grew wide, "No silly not in that way," _Total lie! I was jealous of her in that way…thinking of her sharing your bed drove me crazy!_ Carly thought before she continued, "I was jealous of your closeness and that she was the one who spent time with you and…and…oh damn it's hard to explain too."

Sam laughed, "No…I understand. I was jealous of your knew friends. I understand." _ Plus thinking of you dating those boys drove me insane!_

Carly stood up and looked down on her friend, "We _are_ going to be great again." She walked to the phone to order the pizza.

Twenty minutes later the two girls were sitting on the couch laughing and joking and just talking like best of friends. They decided to wait until they ate the pizza before watching the movie, Carly told Sam she did not think she could watch Saw while eating. The blonde got up to make some nachos to eat with the pizza and was standing in the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

"That has to be the pizza. I'm paying, Carls; you paid for all the snacks and drinks." Sam yelled from the kitchen as she was waiting for the cheese to melt, "My purse is on the table by the door and I have money in my wallet."

Carly giggled at the contents of Sam's purse. Most girls would have had things in her purse like makeup, a hair brush, maybe some nail polish, other feminine items, and some assorted junk. Not Sam; all she had in her purse were a set of keys and her wallet. _Typical Sam_, Carly thought with a smile as she withdrew the wallet. The tall brunette opened the wallet and took out a two twenty dollar bills and paused. In the wallet were some pictures enclosed in the plastic cases that come with most wallets. Carly lay the wallet down and answered the door. She paid the pizza boy, got her change, tipped him, and thought perv when he kept giving her a lecherous stare. She then placed the pizza on the table and picked the wallet up again. "Sam, do you mind if I look at the pictures in your wallet?"

"No…not at all…but first bring me the pizza…I am starving!" Sam replied as she was pouring melted cheese over the nacho chips. Carly chuckled; _one thing had not changed about her…she still eats a lot. I wish I could eat that much and have the hot body she does_, Carly thought and took the pizza in the kitchen and handed it to Sam. She then sat down on the couch and opened the wallet to flip through the pictures.

Carly saw the first picture was of Sam's mother and a nice looking but balding man. Carly held the picture up, "You mom looks good. She seems happy. Do you talk to her much?"

"Yeah," Sam replied as she sat down next to Carly with a bowl of nachos and two plates that held three slices of pizza each. She handed one of the plates to Carly. "I talk to her about once a week. She is happy and I am happy for her. She deserves to be happy after…well after my father," Sam grinned and had cheese on her teeth, "and all the shit I put her through. I'm glad for her and the guy she married is good to her. We...we actually got closer lately."

"Sam! You are gross…you have cheese all in your teeth!" Carly laughed and so did Sam. Carly was happy for Sam's mother. She was not the best mother in the world, but Sam loved her and the woman loved Sam. Life dealt Sam's mother a very bad hand of cards. Carly flipped the next one and took a bite of her pizza. She did not look at it long since it was a picture of Sam and Amber taken in one of those cheap photo booths. She flipped the next three and they were all of Amber and Sam looking happy and Amber clinging all over the blonde. _Damn…she sure is beautiful…I'll give the bitch that, and those eyes! They have to be contacts no one has eyes that brilliant color green! _ Carly thought and then laughed at the next one. It was one of Sam and Amber, but Amber looked like hell…still very pretty but exhausted. The small girl was wearing shorts and a tee shirt and hiking boots on her feet. She had circles under her eyes and her hair was all disheveled and…well…she looked a mess. Sam looked amazing in the picture. All smiles and so cute holding Amber up so she would not fall. Carly held the picture up.

"This one is funny…where was it taken? And now that you and her aren't dating…tell me the truth, she wears contacts, right?"

Sam swallowed her bite of pizza and looked at it, "Oh…we went camping. She was not very suited for the outdoors." Sam chuckled as she thought about some of the incidents the Goth girl got herself into while on the camping trip. She wanted to share them with Carly, but the time was not right. "And nope, those are her real eyes…I thought the same thing when we started dating. Everyone does."

_Bitch!_ Carly frowned and flipped to the next picture and saw it was of Amber and some boy…well young man. He looked older. When she first saw Amber she was just going to skip the picture and go to the next one but she paused when she saw the young man. He was taller than Amber…_most people are_, Carly thought with a smirk, he seemed to stand about six feet two or a little more. He had light brown hair that was cut in a professional short hair style and was a little unkempt as if on purpose. Carly thought he had a very dazzling boyish smile and deep penetrating blue eyes. He was dressed in khaki shorts and no shirt. He was well built. Not bulging like a body builder but well a well defined build like a swimmer. She was reminded of Brad Pitt's body in the movie _Troy_. He skin was lightly tanned and she noticed he had a tattoo over his left breast. She could not make out all the details, she could make out an ace of spades being covered in flames and over the ace of spades was a skull with a knife going downward through the top. Over the skull were some words and below were some more she could not make out. Carly thought he was the most handsome person she had ever seen. Hugging him was Amber. She had both arms wrapped around him and a large smile on her face. _Lucky girl_, she thought, _I wonder why Sam has a picture of Amber and some guy._ She held the picture up to Sam.

"Who's this?" She asked and tried to be nonchalant.

Sam looked and grinned, "Oh…that's Patrick. He's Amber's brother. Works on oil rigs in Australia right now. That was taken over the summer about a week before he left."

"I…I did not know she has a brother? He must be a lot older, huh?"

Sam just kept eating her pizza, "Eight years I think…something like that…not too much older really."

"Huh…well they don't look alike…not at all. He is tall and has darker skin and light brown hair, while she is short and…well you know." She was not going to rip on Amber's alabaster skin since she had a very similar skin tone and found nothing wrong with it, but she would take a shot at the Goth girl's height.

Sam finally looked up and smiled. She knew why Carly was interested. She decided to play along, "Well from what I understand she favors her mother…a lot from the pictures I've seen. Her mom was very beautiful. And Patrick favors his dad. Why so interested?" Sam teased.

Carly glanced at the photo, "Who says I'm interested. So it is a picture of your ex and her brother…big deal. I just wanted who he was. I could really care less! Plus I hate tattoos so he would not be my type anyway!" She sounded defensive and Sam laughed.

"Carls, its ok…he's hot! Hell _I'm_ not into guys and I think he's a major hottie. I kinda…well…don't tell anyone this," Carly nodded, "I kinda had a crush one him…don't look at me like that…I mean a different kind of crush if that is even the right word…not a sexual one or anything. Just…well I like him. He is so cool and laid back and seems to know what to say about everything. It was like a big brother feeling."

Carly looked at the picture and chuckled, "Yeah he is hot…that's for sure. Was he ok with you and Amber? I mean…with your relationship?"

Sam took a sip of her Peppi Cola, "Oh yeah he was cool with it. I think he liked me, Amber said he did…and…well…he spoiled her. She could do no wrong in his eyes. They had a great relationship…kind of like you and Spencer…but…and no offense, Carls, you and Spencer are very close. But theirs is deeper or something…nothing perverted…God you are gross!" Carly was looking at Sam with one eye brow raised; both girls laughed, "But…I don't know…hard to explain."

Carly looked at the photo again, "Did he go to our school?"

Sam smiled, "Yeah…I guess. From what Amber told me he was best friends with Jason's bother…they were in the Marines together and he was there when he got killed…so I think he did. Why?"

"Just thought Spencer may know him, that's all." Carly said defensively again.

Sam laughed and started eating her last slice of pizza, "Well Carls…I think you can forget it with him. Do you think Amber would let you of all people date her brother…yeah I could see that one. Plus he's engaged…not wait he broke that off. Anyway, not a chance, girl, not a chance…plus he's across the world." Sam laughed again. She felt a little jealous that Carly took such interest in another person, but just a little. Sam wondered if it was because she knew there was no way the two would ever meet. She did wish the tall brunette looked at her like that.

"Sam...You are terrible! I am not interested! He is too old anyway! Plus like you said he is Amber's brother so he must have some freaky thing wrong with him like she does and I would not be caught dead dating anyone related to _Amber St. Claire_! I was just curious how someone that good looking could be related to _her_!" Carly snapped and Sam laughed.

Carly sat in a huff and tossed the wallet on the coffee table without looking at the last picture. Sam, still laughing, got up and went to the kitchen to get another drink and more pizza. She turned her head.

"Stop pouting, Carls…I was just teasing you. Do you want more pizza or anything?"

Carly looked up and stuck out her tongue, "Yeah…pizza and another Peppi cola…and I'm not talking to you for…oh…one hour…so there!" She reached and grabbed Sam's wallet again and flipped to the last picture. She saw it and took a deep breath and smiled happily. Carly felt tears in her eyes as she jumped up and ran into the kitchen and grabbed Sam in a tight hug from behind, causing the blonde to drop her cola on the floor.

"Damn, Carly…what are you doing. I thought you were not talking to me?"

"Hugging is not talking…and I am now…I am just glad we are friends again." Carly let go of her friend and the two cleaned up the spilt Peppi Cola.

On the coffee table, Sam's wallet was laying open to the last picture. It was a picture of Sam and Carly taken when they were both fifteen. They were hugging one another and laughing. Written under the picture were the words **"Best Friends 4ever, I luv you Sam, Carls!"** Carly gave that to Sam years ago and Sam told her then she would treasure it always.

**Amber and Ran**

Amber and Ran watched television waiting for Mr. Isuel to arrive from work while Mrs. Isuel finished dinner. After a few minutes the two girls set the table per her instructions. They would be eating in the formal dining room as the family did every Friday night. When Mr. Isuel arrives the two girls groaned in disappointment. He was on time and they would not able to see Mrs. Isuel scolding her husband in Korean.

After a pleasant dinner the two girls left to go to their high school football game. Amber dressed in the same outfit she wore to school with the exception of her thigh highs. She replaces her stocking with a pair of long black thick cotton socks that she borrowed from Ran. The socks came up above her knees to the bottom of her thighs. She thought it was cute. Ran were a pair of black skinny designer jeans and a yellow sweater. Amber noticed Ran was carrying a blanket in the school's colors (black and yellow) and the school mascot, a large tiger, was emblazed on the front. Then Amber realized Ran's choice of colors in her outfit matched the school colors. She rolled her eyes but kept her mouth closed.

"Why are you bringing that? If you think I am going to sit in the car while you and Jason find some secluded spot to make out and have sex you're crazy." Amber said when they got into Ran's car. Ran laughed.

"God, are you that naive? It's going to get cold tonight and we may need it. The games are played outside you know. And if I wanted to find a spot and do Jason all night long, I'd just leave your skinny little ass some where on the road. I would not take the chance of you watching or anything. You'd like that too much." Ran said with a huge grin and Amber gave her a harsh look.

"You would too? Leave me abandoned on the road, I mean. And like I would want to watch you doing it with Jason." Amber replied and added softly, "And I don't have a skinny ass…I have a cute butt."

"Yeah you have a skinny ass, girl, it is not as nice and firm and shapely like mine. And Jason and I know you would watch…you're a freak." Ran said with a huge grin.

"Well better to be a freak than a Chinese prostitute…I swear I thought I saw your picture on TV when they did that special about sex slaves…poor Asian girl's being sold into slavery and forced to do all kind of terrible things to hundreds of men a day. Ran…honey, if you need to talk about things they did to you, I'm here for you, baby." Amber said in a mock tone of concern at the last part

"At least I got paid for doing those things…how do you think mom and dad afford that big house…you give up your tail for free." Ran giggled and Amber laughed.

"Whore." Amber said laughing

"Freak." Replied Ran also laughing.

As they drove to the game and stopped laughing Amber sighed, it was good to have a best friend like Ran. They were total opposites. Ran was tall, beautiful, athletic, loved sports, the outdoors, exercising, was not fond of parties or shopping, and lived for anything that was a competition. While Amber was a prissy girl who was clumsy in sports (except ballet, which a lot of people she knew did not consider a sport. Amber always told them they should try dancing on their toes and putting their body in positions that were not considered physically possible), stood only 5' 3"' like to shop, loved fashion, go to the spa for a makeover, have her nails done, hated anything that made her exert herself physically (besides sex and dance, she loved to exert herself when it came to sex and dancing), and she loved raves. No one really understood why they were such good friends and would just comment they were friends because they knew each other for so long, which was only partially true.

They met on the first day in kindergarten when Ran stopped a boy who was bullying Amber and had best friends ever since with Ran always protecting the Goth girl all these years. The two girls had a bond at times they could not even explain. They had the same quirky sense of humor at times; they could banter back and forth with insults and never once take it the wrong way. They just were and never questioned it.

When they pulled up to the parking lot, Amber was surprised at the crowd and saw most of the people were dressed in yellow and black. She never knew this many people went to the high school games. Every time she went to see Ran play volleyball there were only about sixty or seventy people watching. They consisted mostly of the parents and siblings. Ran saw her face and laughed.

"Ams, it's a big deal. Haven't you seen the banners and posters at school? Or paid attention during assembly? Our team is undefeated this year and a good chance for the state championship. And Jason is ranked the number one quarterback in the state. God, girl, are you that clueless?" Ran mocked her friend.

"No I am not clueless. I saw the posters and stuff…I just did not care." Amber said in a pouting voice. She really had not idea. She did not know what all it meant and was a little afraid to ask Ran. She hated feeling ignorant about something. "Umm…Ran, is umm…Jason good then? And where is he? I want to wish him luck." She asked timidly and Ran burst out laughing.

"Well like I said, he is number one in the state and that means he is fucking great! And we cannot see him until after the game; he is with the team in the locker room. Come on, silly, I'll explain things…or try." Ran grabbed her hand and dragged her to the admittance line.

While waiting in the line, Amber felt a pair of strong hands grab her from behind and she jumped in fear and let out a small scream or shock and fear. Ran, who was in front of her, spun around in anger and saw Freddie Benson holding Amber gently. Amber turned and let out a small smile.

"Damn, Freddie, you scared me. S…so how are you?" She asked in a shaky voice. Ran glared at Freddie. Sure Ran knew Freddie did not know Amber was a little jumpy when it came to things like that, but she was still mad at him regardless.

"God, Benson, can't you just say hello, you scared her to death!" Ran yelled but instantly calmed down when Amber touched her arm.

"Please, Ran, he did not know and was just messing around." She turned back to Freddie, "So, what you up to tonight and what brings you here?"

"Nothing much and you know I would not miss this game. It's a big one. Eastside is a huge rival and next week we have a bye week and then the next game is our homecoming game and that is going to be a cake walk so tonight is the big one. Plus I never miss one!" Freddie said excitedly. Amber did not know Freddie well before she started dating Sam. What she did know was he used to be a tech nerd but now he was very into sports. He was cool with Sam being gay and seemed to like Amber. He even told the Goth girl she was good for Sam. She also knew he was very good friends with Carly Shay and dated Tiffany. _Yeah I like him and he is super nice, but has terrible taste in girls_, Amber thought. Then it hit Amber another reason he came to the games.

"And you are here to watch Tiffany cheer." She said with a sly grin.

Freddie smiled, "Actually…we broke up."

Amber looked a little surprised, "Oh…sorry I did not know."

Freddie laughed, "Don't be. She is a bitch and I got tired of her. All she cared about was herself. And umm…sorry to hear about you and Sam. I'm real sorry, Amber and her loss." He said sincerely.

Amber frowned, _God it was only this morning! Does the whole school know_, she thought. She looked at Freddie, "It's OK…but thanks." She looked at Ran as they gave their tickets to the lady at the gate. "Are there ushers that show us to our seats or do we have to find them ourselves?"

Ran and Freddie busted out laughing, "God, Amber you are priceless, I swear. This is not a ballet recital and we are not on Broadway, we have to find some place to sit." Ran laughed and put her arm through Ambers, "Let's go. See ya, Freddie."

Freddie stood there for a moment and shouted after them, "Hey…umm can I sit with you two?" Both girls turned and said yes at the same time. Freddie smiled and put his hands in his pockets and walked behind them not saying much. Amber thought it was strange he seemed so uncomfortable. _I bet he likes Ran_, she thought. They made their way through the crowd and up the bleachers and found some space to sit down. Amber pulled some tissues from her small clutch purse and wiped her area before she sat down. Ran giggled and rolled her eyes and looked at Freddie.

Freddie was staring at Amber, the Goth girl did not see it but Ran did. He had a strange smile on his face. He looked amused and impressed at the same time. _Oh no…he can't?_ Ran thought as she wrapped the blanket around her and Amber and pulled the small girl close. It was starting to get cold and the wind was picking up and it whipped around the football stadium. Amber was shivering and moaned her thanks to her friend as she placed her head on Ran's shoulder. The move would have been one lovers use and the students sitting close even committed that way, but Ran did not care. This was her best friend and they could all fuck off in her opinion.

Amber watched as some members of both teams walked to the middle of the field and both Freddie and Ran explained it was to toss a coin to see which team gets the ball first. She thought it was silly and asked Ran what number was Jason. Ran told her number 7 and she looked at the payers and tried to find him. She noticed several strange actions from the players. Some were bumping helmets and others beating each other's shoulders.

When she asked Ran what they were doing her and Freddie laughed again. Freddie explained they were trying to motivate one another. Amber mumbled how stupid boys were and kept trying to find Jason. She saw him standing away from the others throwing the ball to two other players. When one of the two caught the ball he would throw it back to another boy standing next to Jason. That boy would then hand the ball to Jason and he would throw it again. Amber leaned into Ran's ear and whispered so Freddie would not hear her.

"Does Jason not know how to catch?" Ran looked at her confused and then looked in the direction Amber was focused on. She laughed again.

"I swear, Ams, if I knew going to a game with you was so much fun I would have dragged your skinny ass with me years ago. Yes he can catch…but he is the quarterback and does not want to risk hurting his hand."

Amber muttered, "And they call me prissy." Freddie and Ran chuckled and Amber decided she was not going to ask another question about the silly game.

After about ten minutes, Amber had no clue what was going on and decided she wanted some coffee. She was getting colder and the man and woman in front of her had some and it smelt good. She unwrapped herself and told Ran she was going to get coffee and Freddie jumped up quickly, which startled Amber and Ran.

"Umm…sorry…I'll go get it. No need for you to stand in the line, Amber." He announced and asked Ran if she wanted anything. She glared at him and said no a little too harshly than she intended. She did not know why she was mad at him when he kept looking at Amber like a love sick cow.

Freddie shrugged and left to get the coffee after Amber mentioned she like cream and sugar. Amber looked at Ran as she placed the blanket back around her. She was glad Ran thought of it. Wearing a skirt to a cold windy football game was not the best thing to do. She was also glad she wore the socks. _See looking cute can be a benefit too_, she thought.

"Why are you being so mean to him? He is a sweet guy."

"I know…just…Amber you can't tell?"

"Yeah, I can tell. Just because he likes you does not mean you have to be rude to him. God, Ran no wonder you don't date much or have a _real_ boyfriend. You run them all off. I'm surprised Jason had lasted this long. Just be nice and let him down easy."

Ran laughed, "Silly, Amber…he does not like _me_. He is crushing on you…and big time. Can't you see that? He has stared at you all night and laughed at your silly comments and you did not notice how fast he jumped up to run and get your coffee? Come on, you are smarter than that and I know you know how to play the game. You used to be the master at it. You are the only girl I know to be called a slut and tease in the same sentence.

Amber frowned at Ran. "No…he can't be…Ran, there is no way. He is Sam and Carly's friend…I don't believe you. And if he did have a crush on me why are you so mad at him for it? Plus I have no clue what you are talking about, I am not a tease…I'm just nice. "

Ran shrugged, "I'm not mad he has a crush on you, but mad because he using this time to show it and flirt with you and it _just_ is not right. One of his best friend's dumps your butt and his other one can't stand you and he just broke up with his girlfriend…he just wants to tap your skinny ass. That's why I am pissed!"

Amber hit Ran's shoulder, "Freddie is not like that. He is a sweet guy. And what about you and Jason, huh? All summer you and him have been sneaking around Maria's back doing it and then he dumps her and is begging to date you. Of course she did deserve it. But no, all you just want to do is fool around. So don't preach to me about someone's morals."

Ran sighed and knew she was not going to win this disagreement. Not that she was not right but because Amber was being to naïve. Her Goth friend knew how to flirt and play the game when she was the hunter, but when she was the prey she was totally clueless. The Korean girl was really worried Amber would do something foolish to feel wanted and desired after he break up.

Freddie came back with the hot drink and handed it to Amber. When he sat down the Goth girl scooted closer to him and thanked him for the coffee. Amber took a sip and mentioned it was too hot right now and put it down by her feet.

"Freddie, my hands are cold…mind if I put them in your jacket pocket?" Amber asked and leaned up to him.

"Umm…sure." Freddie muttered and Ran placed both of her small hands in one of Freddie's leather jacket pockets and even leaned closer to him, which caused the blanket her and Ran were sharing to slip off her some. She pulled the blanket to her and felt some resistance. She looked at her friend and Ran was giving her a look and mouthed "Don't you dare."

Amber frowned and gave her a harsh look with pursed lips and shook her head fast to tell Ran to leave her alone. Ran sighed and slide over to allow Amber to fit under the blanket again. Freddie was clueless to the exchange as he appeared to be watching the football game, but his mind was on the wonderful smell of lilacs coming from Amber's hair and the faint scent of her perfume. He liked that she did not wear much perfume and he had to turn his head a certain way to even catch the smell of it. Tiffany always wore too much for him. He shifted a little as his penis started to grow erect. He then felt Amber let out a small squeal and jump. Freddie at first thought she noticed his erection, but she pulled her hand from his pocket and place the delicate hand on his arm.

"Sorry, Ran pinched me…for some reason." She turned and glared at her friend. Ran just gave her an evil half smirk.

Freddie just chuckled at the exchange between the two girls and thought if he would ever understand the other sex and tried to focus back on the game. He was having little luck since Amber smelled so good and even put her head against him mentioning she was cold and the scent of lilacs flooded his nostrils again. Then the girl became bored with the game and kept talking to him. He did not mind, he had always been fond of Amber and held a small crush on the girl, but now with her constant flirting with either her words or movements of her body, that crush was getting stronger and to make matters worse he was getting sexually excited. He could not control his actions or feelings. The sound of her soft musical voice, her scent, and the way she pressed against him or whispered something silly or funny in his ear was driving him crazy. To his credit he controlled himself and not just because of the glares of hate coming from Ran, he wondered what that was about; but because he was not that guy. He liked Amber and even knew…or thought…she liked boys as well as girls, but she just got dumped by someone she was obviously so in love with, which happened to be one of his best friends, and Freddie was not going to take advantage of that. He would flirt with her and even try to get to know her better, but he would not cross that line and secretly hope she would not be looking at him as a rebound, because there is no way he could control himself if the sexy beautiful small girl decided she wanted sex to help get over Sam. Give her time and then maybe ask her out.

The game ended and as the three made their way to the exit, Amber would fawn all over Freddie. She would ask him to hold her hand while they walked down the bleaches so she would not slip and walk with her arm hooked around his and her head to his side so she would not get separated in the crowd. Ran walked a few feet in front of them and told Amber she would meet her in front of the locker rooms so they could talk to Jason. She did not look happy. Other students who noticed whispered and more rumors started to get spread about Amber. Amber did whisper in Freddie's ear a question that to him made her even more adorable, "Don't tell Ran, but who won?" Freddie laughed and said we did and Amber smiled up at him, _damn she is beautiful…and those eyes…_, he thought as they walked to catch up with Ran.

The three of them waited a while as Jason came from the locker room. He came out showered and changed into a pair of jeans, black tee shirt, and a brown leather jacket. They stood back as he did an interview for a local radio sports show and the local news channel. After he was done he made his way to Ran and picked her up and hugged her. Ran was tall at 5'8", but Jason stood a little over six feet. As he started to kiss Ran she turned her head and his kiss landed on her cheek. He frowned and put her on the ground and looked at Amber wrapped together with Freddie and gave them a look curious look for a moment and smiled.

"Amber…I cannot believe it. This was the first time we beat Eastside in twelve years but the bigger shocker is you are at a football game! I am shocked and extremely honored!" He bowed mockingly and Amber giggled and Freddie smiled. Ran rolled her eyes at Amber's giggle. She knew the other girl well enough to know her fake giggle to her real one.

"Well maybe I am your good luck charm, Jason, and congratulations! You played very well."

"How would you know how he played? You could not even understand the coin toss." Ran commented

Amber glared at her friend, who was holding Jason's hand, "Well he looked like he did a good job and he won…so he must have played well." Amber snapped back.

Jason looked at Freddie, who shrugged, and back at Ran and then Amber. The two girls were glaring at one another. He sighed, _girls are strange sometimes_. He then smiled at Amber.

"Thanks…so are we going to Wesley's party tonight, Ran? I need to relax…they beat me up pretty bad tonight. Those linemen were brutes."

Ran still glaring at Amber, "No, we just are going home. Amber's staying with me for a while and she is…"

"Sure, I'll go!" Amber said and surprised Ran. The Goth girl turned and looked up at Freddie, her arm still hooked around his, "So, Freddie, want to go with?"

Freddie looked at his watch, "Amber, I wish I could…but I umm…I promised Carly I would hang out with her and Sam. She is spending the night with Carly and…" He stopped talking as Amber unwrapped herself from him.

"She…Sam is…she…Sam is with Carly tonight? I…" Amber took a deep breath as her eyes got watery and looked at Ran and the other girl let go of Jason's hand and walked over to her and hugged her. While she hugged Amber, Ran looked at Freddie and gave him one of her glares she had been giving him all night.

"Way to go, dumb ass." Freddie looked stunned and felt terrible. He should have known not to tell Amber, but it slipped out.

To Amber's credit she did not break down but gently pushed Ran away, "It's not his fault, Ran. He…he was just telling me why he could not go. Sam can do what she wants and see who she wants…now. And so can I. I want to go to the party." She said the last with such finality that Ran did not argue.

"Ok, baby, but whenever you want to leave let me know and we will leave."


	14. Chapter 14

**Wow…long chapter but a good one if I say so myself…read all of it!**

**Chapter 14 – Movie Night and the Party**

The two girls and the two boys walked to Ran's car. They decided to take just the one and leave Jason's at school. Ran could drive him back later or if he drank too much or any at all according to Ran, she would take him home to his house and he could get his car the next day. Jason was not a big drinker but he did partake on occasion. He did not drink when he went to parties with Ran since she frowned at it and after he drank with her around she would not have sex with him; her punishment for him drinking. But tonight he knew he was not going to get any anyway since Amber was with them so he figured he could do a little drinking tonight and worry about Ran's nagging later. He looked at the Asian girl as they walked and smiled. He liked her…more than she liked him…and hoped one day she would let down her guard and admit they were dating instead of just fooling around.

As they got to Ran's car, Freddie opened the passenger side door, after Ran unlocked it using her remote, and motioned for Amber to get in. Amber smiled sweetly.

"Thanks, Freddie. You are a gentleman." She then surprised him when she stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek. She then hugged him and got into the car.

Freddie was a stunned and muttered out it was no problem and hoped he would see her later. Ran rolled her eyes and jerked Jason's hand out of the way when he tried to open her car door, "Just get in." She snapped. Jason got in the back seat behind Ran smiling. One thing he liked about Ran was her feistiness. They drove away and Freddie walked to his car to visit Carly.

He was a little excited to go see Carly knowing Sam was going to be there and smiled as he walked to his car. It had been a long time since the three of them hung out and he missed that. Sam tormented him at times, but they both knew it was how she showed her affection to him. His mind then turned to Amber. _Oh God what a mess…ok yeah I had a small crush on her…but it was a small one and no big deal. Hell, I have small crushes on every pretty girl I see, but she was flirting with me…I know she just broke up with Sam…well Sam dumped her, and she is in rebound mode. Still…God…it was great the way her hair smelled and her perfume and…hell everything about her! I never would have thought Amber St. Claire would show interest in me! Yeah she has a reputation, but that is bullshit! She is not like that! Freddie, Freddie, Freddie…chill out. Just take it slow. Maybe ask her out and be her friend. She needs that more than anything right now. Yeah, but I was just friends with Carly all these years hoping it would lead to more and look where that got me? Of course Carly was always up front with me and never led me on. I know, I know, Amber is not leading me on…she is just upset. She needs a friend and I will be that for her. And then there is Sam. How would she feel if I started going out with Amber as friends or as dating…Oh, Freddie, why did you decide to sit with her at the game! What did I get myself into?_ Freddie questioned himself as himself drove home and to Carly's place. They were still neighbors after all these years. Freddie turned his head and smelled his jacket and caught a small hint of Amber's hair. He smiled and hoped his erection would go down before he walked into Carly's apartment.

**Sam, Carly, Freddie** –

Carly's door bell rang and she got up to answer the door. She had been sitting close to Sam while the horror/slasher movie played. Sam even had her arm around her and at times Carly would hide her head on Sam's shoulder and close her eyes when the gory scenes played. Both girls really like the seating arrangement, but they were both to afraid to tell each other they did. Carly felt safe in Sam's arms and Sam felt very excited to have her friend so close. Sam picked up the remote and was going to pause the movie but Carly shook her head. "Its cool…you don't have to." She grinned as she walked to the door. Sam laughed.

"Yeah you never did like these kinds of movies. We didn't have to watch it, you know"

"Hush…my house my rules and tonight my rule is cater to Sam Puckett's every whim."

Sam grinned and wanted to badly to ask her how she would cater to her whims and desires she was thinking when they were sitting on the couch so close, but of course she kept her mouth shut. _Was it possible she was flirting with me…naw…that's just Carly_.

"Freddie! About damn time!" Carly shouted as she opened the door. "We started without you and you missed all the wonderful blood and guts of the Jigsaw Man. What a shame."

Freddie grinned, "Damn…I missed Saw…which one?"

Sam looked up, "Five. And took you long enough, Benson, I thought you were going to be a no show! Hell I was hoping you would be."

"Well hello to you too, Puckett. I really debated coming over here knowing you would be sitting on the couch and eating all of Carly's food…just like the old days." Freddie said as he removed his jacket and hung it on the coat hanger by the door.

"Yeah, whatever, Benson. Just sit as far away from me as possible so I can have a nice evening." Freddie smiled when he saw Sam look back at the television and tried to prevent her mouth from smiling. She was not successful. She tried to cover it up by stuffing popcorn in her mouth, but both Freddie and Carly noticed her smile. They looked at one another and grinned. _Yeah like the old days_, Freddie thought, _the __**good**__ old days_.

"I've got to pee…Freddie make yourself at home…you always do." Carly said and she ran up the stairs to the bathroom.

Freddie sat on the couch next to Sam, who did pause the movie when Carly got up to answer the door. He was sitting on the far corner and she was on the other one. Both were quite for about five minutes and Sam finally spoke first. "So…ummm…who won?" She said still looking at the paused scene on the television.

Freddie answered while looking at the same scene, "We did. Good game through. Jason took a real beating, but played great. He is going to feel it in the morning through." He debated if he should tell her about Amber and decide not yet. "So…umm…what's been going on tonight? Do anything exciting or just hang out?"

"Just hang out…it has been fun. We talked, ate, talked, and started the movie." She glanced at Freddie and turned her head quickly as he glanced at her. _Oh, fuck it! Get it over with before Carly comes back_, she thought as she glanced back at him again.

"Ok…this is crazy! Scoot over here and give me a hug and let's get it over with and that will be it!" She snapped at him. Freddie grinned and scooted over and hugged Sam.

"I did miss you." He whispered in her ear. Sam smiled.

"Yeah me too…but if you tell anyone I'll kill you. And you can let go now." She whispered back. She felt his body jerk as he chuckled.

"Deal." He gave her a tight squeeze and let go and scooted back to his corner. Both were grinning when a voice behind them spoke out.

"Damn…about freaking time! I thought I was going to have to fake pee for ever!" They heard Carly shout behind them. "Carly!" Both Sam and Freddie yelled and all three burst out laughing. Carly sat down between the two, which made her sit close to Sam and her legs were touching hers. Carly felt a rush if excitement and blushed, she quickly turned to Freddie. "We have left over pizza and snacks it you want something to eat. And tell me about the game…I kinds missed it…the cheering part." She felt Sam's hand on her thigh, maybe a little far up than it needed to be. She blushed again and felt another charge of excitement.

"I'm sorry, Carls." The blonde said.

"It's ok…that was one fun thing I did when I hung out with…what does Amber call us…The Queen of Diamonds and her court…I liked cheerleading."

Freddie jerked involuntarily at the mention of Amber's name, "Umm…why did she call then that? I never could figure that one out." He asked Sam.

Sam grinned, "Well, you have to understand her and her quirky brilliant mind. It was something she thought of that only she would understand and of course she told me. Ok, here it goes. One of her favorite movies was Breakfast at Tiffany's…and what is Tiffany's? A jewelry store that specializes on diamonds so that is part of the connection with Tiffany. Then Tiffany always wears those diamond ear rings, that tennis bracelet, and that diamond pendent …so another one…and her family has a lot of money and diamonds is associated with wealth…so one more. And her court were Keisha, Maria, …and Carly." Sam smiled as she thought of her ex and her quirky mind. Only she would think of something that complex to come up with a nick name. "And of course she even named three four of you after the other cards. Maria is the king because she is the biggest bitch, Keisha is the joker because she...well something happened between her and Amber last fall that I really cannot mention, so don't ask. Tiffany is the queen as I mentioned, and Carly is the ace. Simple huh?" Sam laughed with Freddie and Sam because it was really a thought out nickname for the group. Carly did not smile.

"That is the most ridicules way to come of with a nick name I've ever heard", Carly snapped, "and why was I the ace?" Carly asked curiously.

Sam grinned, "Because she thought you were the…well…the highest quality of the group, the classiest and the prettiest." Sam then grinned, "Don't get me wrong, Carls, she dislikes you a lot…while she thought those things she still does not like you."

Carly crossed her arms on her chest, "Who cares what that freak thinks anyway. She is weird! I never did understand of all people you could have dated you picked her! You are so pretty and anyone would have been happy to date you…if they were…well…you know." Carly stammered when she realized her mistake. "Hell, you should have let Maria bash her brains out all over the cafeteria last spring!" Both Sam and Freddie looked shocked at Carly's comment. She said it with such force and venom.

Sam laughed, "Damn, Carls, a little harsh don't ya think? Well…first I did not pick her, she asked me out. Second, there really is not a vast number of lesbians or bi sexual girls at school…or that admit they are," Sam noticed Carly flinched at that, "I mean I could cruise the college and maybe get lucky, but that is not me. And third, there was no way I could stand by and watch what Maria was doing to her. No one else was helping…well that one kid…Wesley, that burner kid, but a Troy and some other jocks stopped him. Ran was out that day…she would have helped of course, but no one stepped up…I guess they were scared. Anyway, I thought she was going to seriously hurt Amber and that was wrong. Hell, she gave the girl a concussion and I remember when I took her to the nurse she was so out of it. She kept saying, "Its ok mom, I'm fine over and over again."

Carly was still made, "Why her…I mean hell, Sam, you have done things to hurt people seriously and never thought twice about it. I heard about the incident last year at the skateboard park. What made that day and her different? Hell she started it anyway!"

Sam shrugged, "I don't know…I mean seeing it. Maria is stronger and taller and seeing her jump on top of such a little person like Amber…I don't know…let's just drop it…ok." Sam could not explain in front of Freddie that it reminded her of her dad. Seeing a larger person beating up a small person like that reminded her of watching her dad beat her mom or even herself. Carly nodded, she understood.

Freddie shifted and felt uncomfortable and decided to change the subject. He asked the first question that popped in his mind, "So you mentioned Amber likes old movies? Which ones?" He could have kicked his self for asking that. _Why did I? Because I want to know what interests her, that's why!_

Sam shrugged, "Just older ones like _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, _Sabrina, Roman Holiday_; _Street Car Named Desire_, _Gone with the Wind_; anything with Audrey Hepburn and Vivian Leigh. And Paul Newman movies, I like some of those like _Cool Hand Luke_, _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_, and _The Sting_…those were cool. A lot I thought were boring." She started to get a little uncomfortable talking about Amber and she could sense Carly was too. She was hoping Carly would change the subject, but the brunette looked lost in thought.

Carly was thinking about something Sam said about Amber's choice of movies. _Gone with the Wind _made her remember that she read that book and saw the movie a couple of years ago. She read the book because she loved the movie. It hit her that something about the character Scarlet O'Hara reminded her of Amber. It was…well her looks…the book mentioned Scarlet had brilliant green eyes…maybe that was it and she was small and petite so that could be part of it to, and she had a great deal of charm. The book mentioned that while Scarlet was not a beautiful girl in the conventional sense, but she had a charm that made her appear more beautiful than she was. That was one thing Amber and the fictional character did not have in common, Amber was beautiful. Scarlet was vain and Amber could be as well. She cared a lot about how she looked. Another thing they did not have in common was the fictional girl was strong willed, could be cruel, and selfish. Regardless of her feelings for Amber, Carly could not say the girl was selfish or cruel. She could be devious through. Carly also had to admit the girl had the charm and the manners of the southern belles in the book.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Freddie asked another question, "I heard she scored almost perfect on the SATs?"

Sam replied without thinking, "Yeah…she missed a perfect score by three questions, one in the Verbal section and two in the Math. I understand on Misty did better than her on the SATs. Hell, she almost took the again to find out which ones she may have missed." Sam chuckled, "She almost did until I told her she would be so freaked out thinking of which questions she missed she would score worse. She didn't retake them. She can be a drama queen at times." Sam glanced at Carly and saw her friend was uncomfortable with the conversation. "So why the interest, Freddie?"

Freddie shrugged, "Just curious…she was at the game and I sat with her and Ran."

Sam sat up straight on the couch and glared at Freddie, "She went to a _football game_? With Ran! Well that was convenient, huh? I knew she was a little whore!"

Freddie straightened his self. "Oh, come on, Sam, they're friends. They have been friends for a long time! About as long as you and Carly!"

Sam just snorted her reply, "Yeah…well…maybe, but I…wait! You sat with her? Please don't tell me you are making a move on her! I can't believe you, Benson! You want to fuck her? You think you have a shot with her? Trust me, Benson, you could not handle her in the sack!" Sam jumped off the couch and stood with her fist clenched.

Freddie jumped up and so did Carly, who moved between the two. "Sam! Freddie! Both of you calm down! I am not going to sit here and listen to the two of you fight over that freaky bitch!"

Freddie glared at Sam, "Yeah me either. I am leaving. And for your information, Sam, you dumped her! So don't get all jealous and upset because she may or may not be interested in someone else!" Freddie stormed to the door, grabbed his coat, and left.

Carly glared at Sam, "Samantha Puckett! I cannot believe you! You know Freddie would never do that! And he is right; you did break up with her so if she wants to find someone else that is not your business!" Carly was mad because Sam blew up at Freddie but even madder because she got jealous over Amber.

Sam glared back, "Yeah…well…I do not need this shit!" The blonde made her way to the door.

"Where are you going? You are just leaving?" Carly shouted, but her voice was shaky with emotion. Sam turned.

"Yeah I am!" And she walked out of the door.

Carly fell back to the couch and started to cry. _It is entirely that whore's fault! I hate her! Amber St. Claire, I hate you! You ruined a perfect night! _She thought as tears fell from her eyes.

Sam closed the door and paused in the hallway. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She muttered and made her way to the elevator. She pressed the button and waited. "Fucking elevator!" she cursed at the slowness of the machine and made her way down the stairs. She stopped in the lobby and sat on the waiting couch. She put her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands and started to cry. After a moment she sniffled and made her way back up the stairs and paused at Carly's door. She waited a minute and rang the bell. She heard Carly's shaky voice.

"It's…*sniffle*…open…*sniffle…Freddie."

Sam opened the door and Carly looked up, "Sam…*sniffle*…I'm…*sniffle…sorry."

Sam sniffled again, "Yeah…me too…I was wrong. I was out of line." She did not move. Carly ran to her and hugged her and the two girls cried. After a moment Sam pried herself from Carly and smiled at her. "She…I told you we had some glitches we would work through."

"I'm just glad you came back. Promise we won't talk about _her_ anymore…k"

Sam laughed, "Ok…I'll try. You know you could've ran after me." Carly laughed and the two hugged again.

"You know…you need to apologize to Freddie. That was uncalled for you know."

"Yeah…I know…but umm give me a moment. I…I don't want him to see me cry or know I have been crying. He would think it was about him."

Carly laughed, "Ok…but in a moment you are going to march your cute butt next door and tell him to come back over and apologize."

Sam smiled, "Yes m'am…and since when did you start thinking I had a cute butt?"

Carly blushed, "I…I…did not mean…I...sorry it was just…Oh damn it, stop messing with me! You know what I meant!" Sam chuckled.

"Well you have a cute butt too, Carly." Both girls laughed and ten minutes later Freddie was back and the three were on the couch watching the rest of Saw V and once again Carly would huddle close to Sam and close her eyes at the gory part.

Later that night, Freddie left and Sam nudged Carly to wake her up. She fell asleep with her head on Sam's lap and her feet on Freddie's during their third movie. "Carls…Carls…we need to go to bed, baby."

"Umm…five more minutes…I don't want to go to school…please." Carly muttered. Sam looked at her and gently brushed her thick black hair from her face. _God, you are so beautiful. You look so sweet and peaceful_, the blonde thought. She shook her again, "Come on, Carls…my leg fell asleep. Get up." She whispered and felt Carly stir.

"Ok…ok…I'm awake. What time is it?"

Sam glanced at the clock, "It's after three. We can sleep late in the morning. I need to let Amber know she can pick up her stuff tomorrow…maybe we could go to the moves or something so I won't be there." She was still running her hand through Carly's hair.

Carly gave Sam a sleepy smile, "Umm…ok, or shopping…that feels nice…please don't stop. Umm…yeah that feels good. You are so sweet, Sam, and a great friend. I didn't mean to make your leg fall asleep." She turned her head to look up at Sam and smiled. Sam glanced down and thought she had never seen such a more beautiful sight than the girl in front of her. She leaned closer and Carly timidly raised her head. As Sam leaned in to kiss her friend and her friend raised up to kiss her, Sam cell phone rang loudly. Carly jumped up and Sam fell back to the couch. _Oh, what was I doing! I can't do this. She is going to freak_!

"Umm…maybe you should umm...get that. It's late and…well it may be an emergency." Carly stammered as she turned off the television.

Sam got up, "Yeah…I guess." Sam walked to the kitchen table and picked up her phone, which had stopped ringing. The caller ID read Private Caller. She waited a few minutes too see if the called left a voice mail. They did not.

"Must be a wrong number…I guess we should go to bed. I'll take the couch."

Carly frowned, "Sam…since when did you sleep on the couch. I have a king sized bed and…you can…umm..sleep with me."

"You sure?"

"Of course, silly, you always sleep with me when you spent the night. Come on." Both girls went up to Carly's room and Sam went to the bathroom to pee and change into her pajamas, which were only a pair of loose gray cotton shorts and a light blue tee shirt with the name a skate shop across the front. She walked back into the room and saw Carly folding down the sheets of bed. The brunette was wearing a light blue pajama top and matching short pajama bottoms. Sam could not help but admire her butt as she bent over the bed. The shorts rode up her a little and exposed her butt even more. Sam could tell her friend was not wearing any panties.

Carly turned and smiled, "I like to sleep on the left, remember."

"Sure," Sam replied and moved to the bed and Carly grabbed her arm. "Hey…what's the matter?"

"Just tired…nothing really," Sam replied but could not hide it in her voice. Carly gave her a hard look and Sam sighed, "Ok…I…I'm sorry about what…we…what I almost did downstairs…I didn't mean it."

"Did not mean it? Well, Sam, I am happy to hear that. I am so glad you find me repulsive and don't want to kiss me, but I sure as hell wanted to kiss you! You sure know how to make a girl feel good." Carly sat on the edge of the bed in mock anger.

"You…you wanted to? To kiss me, right? Carly…I…I don't…yes I meant that I wanted to, but thought you would freak…and…God of course I wanted to…you are so beautiful." Sam replied confused and took Carly's hand as she held it out to her. Carly gently pulled Sam so she would sit next to her on the bed.

"Sam…I wanted to…real bad…but I have to be honest with you. I…I am confused, Sam. I love you, but I don't know if that love is friendship love or romantic love. I am so glad we are friends again and I am confused if I wanted to kiss you because of that or…or if…if I like you as more than a friend. I really can't say truthfully if I am into girls like that. Maybe I am curious and just want to see what it would be like. And then you are confused to. I know you are still a little confused about Amber...please don't deny it…I can tell. You proved that when you got jealous of her and Ran and then her and Freddie. I am not saying you are still in love with her, but the two of you just broke up today and you need time. I…I do not want to be the girl you rebound with. And then there is the fact I have never done it…I have never had sex and I want it to be special with someone I have no doubt or confusion about regarding my feelings and I what that person to have no doubts either. I…I don't have much experience in things like that you know…well none. I mean I only kissed guys…and had one touch my breasts, but that is it. Did you know around the popular group I am known as a tease? I used to go to parties over the summer and mack on cute guys but never let them do anything. I was not meaning to be a tease…just did not want to have sex just to have sex. I'm sorry…I don't want you to feel like I led you on or teased _you, _Sam. Do you understand? And…I don't want to ruin our friendship until I know one hundred percent how I feel about you and about love and girls in general."

Sam smiled a little, "Yeah I do. And I do appreciate what you said and agree with some of it. Funny, any other girl I would be all over right now trying to seduce and have sex with, but I can't do that to you. And I don't feel you are leading me on. I respect you for being honest with me. I love you to, Carly, and if it is in a romantic way then I am patient and I will wait for you. If it is not we will always have a close friendship. If it plays out that I do love you more than a friend I will still be your best friend. Nothing can or will ever change that again." Sam kissed Carly on the forehead and crawled to the other side of the bed and covered up. Carly crawled under the sheets herself.

"Thanks, Sam…I am very happy you are here. I have not been this happy in a long time."

Sam yawned, "Mmm glad to be here too. Night, Carls."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure…anything."

"Why are you so far away? Scoot over and I'll meet you in the middle." Both girls scooted over and Carly turned her back to Sam, "Hug me, Sam…I would like that." Sam smiled and put her arms around Carly.

"Umm…feels good…night, Sam." Carly closed her eyes but she did not drift off to sleep even if she was tired. _Well I did not really lie to her. I mean some of the things were true. I meant what I said about her and Amber and worried I would be a rebound. She needs a friend more than a lover…so yeah that was true. But damn it! I wanted her so bad! If her phone would not have rang would we be having sex right now? Damn, I want her to be my first! Do you hear me Sam Puckett, I want you to kiss me all over, I want to kiss you all over, I want to feel your fingers and tongue inside me! I want you to take my virginity! I want you to know without a doubt that you love me! I am not confused! I love you Sam Puckett! You are so lovely! And Amber was wrong, you are the prettiest girl in school not me…hell the whole state…hell the whole world!_ Carly thought and hoped she would develop instant ESP and Sam could read her thoughts. The thoughts she was too afraid to speak out loud. She pressed her butt into Sam's pelvic area and thought Sam must already be asleep. She almost gasped out loud in excitement as Sam pulled her tighter to her. _God I am so horny! I need to…to do that thing I do sometimes…I need to…to get myself off, _she thought and wondered if she could sneak out of bed and go to the bathroom with her little vibrator she kept in a secret hiding place. She was glad it was dark and Sam was asleep so her blonde friend could not see her blush. She was also glad she wore this pajama bottoms since the area between her legs were extremely wet. She yawned and finally drifted to a restless sleep.

Carly was wrong, Sam was not asleep. She held onto Carly and smelled her friend's hair. It smelled like rose pedals. _God, I hope she does not know I am sniffing her. What the hell was I thinking about when I tried to kiss her? That was stupid! Or was it…she wanted me to…but then gave her speech about being confused and me being confused. Well Carly, I am not confused! I want you in the worst way. I want to do things to you with my tongue and fingers! I want to taste your lips, your breasts, and you sweet pussy! But she is a virgin…God how do I handle that? Amber was not and well…face it, Sam, Carly is not Amber. She would not be willing to do the things Amber did when I fucked her. Things that excited me like never before. But that would be fine…hell it would be great! Just being able to make love to you would be ever so satisfying_. Sam felt herself get wet and turned on, _Give her time, Sam, she is your best friend and that trumps her being a lover. Plus things may work out that she does love you and you can spend hours introducing her to making love…I do love you, Am…I mean Carly! What the fuck was that? Ok, chill, Amber is just on your mind because you did get a little jealous of her tonight. I need to get over that…she needs to move on and so do I. She will make someone very happy, but that someone is not me! _ Sam held in a moan as Carly's butt pressed into her pelvic, _Oh God that felt good…I know she is not meaning too…but damn she can tease_. Sam pulled her friend closer and finally fell into a restless sleep.

**Amber and Ran and the Party.**

Ran drove to the party at Wesley Mitchell's house. His parents were out of town for a week and he had the home to himself. The Asian girl relaxed some after Freddie left. She looked in the rear view and winked at Jason. The boy smiled and winked back. Ran glanced at Amber and noticed the girl was still pouting. She sat without saying a word the entire thirty minute drive to Wesley's house the petite brunette never once messed with the radio. Ran knew something was wrong, the girl never missed a chance to flip the stations over and over again or change CD's mentioning a song she wanted to listen to and in the middle of a that particular song change CD's again saying she wanted a different song. It was very annoying and one of her little quirks. Ran was thankful she never had to go on a road trip where Amber had access to the radio. Ran grinned when she thought of one of her gifts to the other girl last year for Christmas. It was a mixed CD of her favorite songs that would start one song and after about ten seconds go to another and then another. Ran thought it was hilarious but Amber pouted for about an hour until Ran gave the girl her real gift. Ran did notice the girl kept that CD and she actually had it put in a clear glass box in her bedroom. Amber then had a small engraving on a small brass plate attached to the bottom of the box that read – **In case of a road trip with Ran, break glass…Ran Xmas 2007**. Ran was very touched when she first saw it. But right now she was kind of pissed.

She was pissed a little at Freddie and a lot pissed at Amber. Freddie was a boy who thought he may get lucky and that was how boys are so her anger was more directed to Amber. She knew better than to lead the boy on! Ran knew her friend was hurting and she worried that Amber would jump into the bed with the first boy or girl who showed an interest. Not that Amber was promiscuous or a slut, but she did have some issues and the pain of being rejected by someone she truly loved hurt her and may cause her to do something stupid. And they were going to be predators there tonight looking for someone like her and from what Jason told her, a lot of people knew Sam dumped Amber. Ran at first was pissed at Sam for telling everyone, but Jason assured her Sam skipped school with Carly so they had no idea who spread it around, but it was high school after all and they found these things out fast.

They pulled up to Wesley's house and Ran was glad to see the closest neighbor was about a half a mile away because it was loud and crowded. Wesley Mitchell was a burner and skater. Meaning he was a pot fiend who loved skate boarding. He smoked a lot of marijuana…a lot. He was not typically someone Ran would hang out with because he lived for getting high and riding his board, which he was very good at. But he was an ok guy and straight forward and honest. Ran did think he gave other skaters a bad reputation and stereo type. Wesley referred to everyone as dude and listen to hard core heavy meal music (which was blaring from inside the house) and his parties were a legend to the skaters and other burners. Of course the popular kids shied away since it was a haven for the "out casts". Ran knew the two reasons why Jason chose Wesley's party. He could have gone to any student party in town. One, Amber would feel more comfortable and she would not be tormented at all and two Jason and Wesley went way back. They used to be close when Wesley played JV ball with Jason, but he changed in high school. Jason still liked him through. That was one thing Ran liked about Jason, he was loyal to his long term friends. Amber knew him a little and had no problem with him or his ways. Wesley thought Sam was cool, they got to know one another in a lot of detentions over the years. He was very nice to Amber in a friendly way and non flirty way, he thought she was hot but his type of girl was more the skanky stripper type. Of course Amber made it a habit in the last four years to get to know almost every freak and outcast in the school.

Ran once referred to her as St. Amber of the Freaks and would tease the girl that she must be campaigning for Queen of the Freaks. They all liked her because she was nice, caring, and well hot _and_ not afraid of being an outsider or freak and even promoting it to a degree. She mingled with the burners (did not partake through), the skaters, the Goths, the nerds, or just the students who were average but did not fit in with the "in crowd" or the jocks. Of course that would not stop one of these predator boys to try and use Amber's pain to get laid. Ran was thankful the girl did not drink. Ran and Jason and Freddie were the only three jocks Amber really hung out with. Of course Freddie's status was now going to be in jeopardy since he broke up with Tiffany. She is going to make it tough on him until baseball season starts and he can show his skill and get write ups in the paper and be the hero again. Jason…well he was not the average jock. He was the super jock. He was a football star and quarterback to boot. He had seven colleges recruiting him right now. Plus he played football and that trumped baseball any day so he would always be the top boy at school. Then there was Ran. She was a jock, but did not care for the status. She hung out with the jocks on occasion and the skaters. She did tend to shy away from the burners and hard core Goths but knew most of them because of her friendship with Amber.

They got out of the car and made their way inside, pausing a few times to talk to the kids that were hanging outside the house. A few whistled at Amber and ogled her but quickly averted the gaze from her when Jason and Ran stared them down. They walked in the door and were blasted by the music and Ran grabbed Amber's arm and pulled her closer.

"Stay close to me…I want to be able to see where you are all night and let me know if you want to leave. And be careful." She whispered. Amber jerked her arm away.

"I can take care of myself." She replied harshly

"Since when?"

"You are _not_ my mother, so let me have fun!"

"Whatever…but I am going to keep an eye on you!" Ran said in a protecting manner.

"I don't need you to protect me. I am seventeen and not the same five year old you first met. Go and have fun with Jason. I'm going to get a Coke or something." Amber said less harshly but still in a cold voice. She did feel good Ran wanted to look after her, but she was still annoyed with her friend.

"Fine." Ran said just as coldly and when Amber started to walk to the kitchen Ran once again grabbed her arm, a little more gentle this time. "Ams…please…be careful, ok." She said in a calm voice.

Amber smiled, "I will, Ran, and…well…go have fun with Jason. He does not want to baby sit me all night. I'll be fine. And be nice to him…he likes you a lot."

Ran grinned and made a kissing gesture with her mouth and Amber replied in kind. "And show him some fun tonight! He won a big game and deserves to at least cop a feel." She yelled as the couple walked away. She immediately started to blush as the kids around her turned and started to laugh. Ran just turned, grinned at her, grabbed Jason, and gave him a very long passionate kiss. Amber smiled and walked to the kitchen.

She was there for about two hours and glanced at her designer watch. It was twelve thirty and she was bored and the music was giving her a head ache and it was hot. She took her jacket off an hour ago. She was sitting on the couch alone and watching Ran and Jason dance. She danced with Jason and Ran and then both Jason and Ran at the same time a little but the music playing was not what she liked and neither was she really in the mood. Metallica blared from the CD player speakers. She was not overly fond of the metal band and worse it was their old garage band sound. Very hard core thrash metal. She stifled a yawn and grabbed her Sprite on the table next to her. She took a sip and smiled at Ran and Jason. They really are good with one another. _I hope Ran would finally see that. She never had a serious boy friend and they are both totally hot_, she thought. Amber then drifted her thoughts to Sam. She felt her eyes water and choked down a sob. She promised she was not going to cry about it anymore. Then she thought of where Sam was and that made her feel worse as thoughts about what her ex girlfriend and Carly were doing filled her mind. She tried to calm herself and jumped slightly as a hand touched her bare arm. She sighed in disgust. She already had to tell seven other boys no she would not go out with them to four, no she did not want to go someplace private and talk about her breakup to two, and no when the last one asked her straight out to go with him to his car and they could have sex in the back seat and then never speak again. Amber gave that one a little credit, at least he was honest with her. She turned and was about to once again give her rejection speech when she looked into a beautiful pair of sky blue eyes.

"Sorry, I did not mean to startle you, but I have been asking you for about a minute if I could sit here. You did not answer so I thought it was cool." Blue eyes told her in a very pleasant soft voice. Amber shook her head and took a moment to look the girl over. She was blonde, very blonde with that wheat color blonde hair little girls have until they get older and it darkens some. Her hair was straight and parted in the middle and came down a little past her shoulders. Amber could tell she even through her hair was neat and combed; she wore no hair products like gel or spray. She had dreamy soft blue eyes, soft high cheek bones, the bridge of her nose was slightly sunburned, slightly pink lips, and she wore no makeup at all. Not even lipstick. Amber thought she did not need any and for some reason knew if this girl wore makeup it would make her look less pretty. Her skin was slightly tanned but not too tan and looked as if she knew just the right amount of sun to get to have the perfect complexion. She looked very wholesome and girl next door type. Amber was instantly reminded of a surfer girl and the beauty in front of her looked like she just stepped off the cover of some surfer magazine. She even smelled like the beach. A nice smell.

"Does that head shake mean no the seat is not taken or no I cannot sit here?" Blue eyes asked and flashed a smile to reveal perfect teeth.

"Uhhh…sorry…I was thinking of something. Sure you can sit here." Amber replied and tried not to stare and took another sip of her Sprite.

"Great…I am sooo bored. You looked both bored and deep in thought. So…are you as bored as me?"

"Yeah…I guess."

"Do you know a lot of people here?" Blue eyes asked.

Amber smiled, "Yeah I do…I go to school with about ninety nine percent of them. You? I've never seen you at school."

Surfer Girl smile back, "Wow you _can_ smile…you should do it more often. You have a pretty smile. And I love your hair. I like the two red braids. Looks sexy. And to answer your question, no I do not go to your school. I am a sophomore in college at Santa Monica College in Malibu for one more year, need to pull my grades up, and then off to either USC or UCLA. I'm not dumb or anything by the way, I just like surfing a little too much…hence why I choose Santa Monica College…I'm from Malibu."

Amber frowned, "I did not think you were stupid or anything. That never crossed my mind. So why is a surfer girl from California here? At this party I mean…not that it matters if you are here…I did not mean to accuse…Oh damn!" Sorry." Amber was getting flustered and did not know why.

Surfer girl laughed and it was a pleasant sound. Like a musical instrument. "Sorry about the stupid thing, I just feel I have to defend myself sometimes. I was addicted to surfing…better than other things huh? And it caused my grades to slip a little…well a lot. Do you like to surf or the beach? And to answer your question…" She paused and scanned the crowd and pointed, "See that guy over there." Amber saw a good looking boy who she did not know talking to a bunch of girls she did know. "That is Wesley's cousin Brad and I am kind of dating him. An on and off thing since he still lives here in Washington and I'm in California…hard to keep things interesting you know with the distance so we date other people sometimes. But he called and asked if I would come up and see him this weekend. I figured what the hell. They were expecting some heavy rain and bad storms along the coast and I could not surf anyway. He did not tell me it was so freaking cold here and this state has the highest average rain fall per year than any other state. So anyway here I am, bored and he is more interested in those high school girls than me tonight…so I and sat down with you." She smiled again.

Amber was at a lost. The girl had a strange way of conversing. It was scattered but not in a scatter brained way. Amber thought it was cute. She raked her brain for the question the girl asked her…_oh yeah surfing and the beach_.

"To answer your question…I have never been surfing…would not be a good idea for me, kind of a klutz when it comes to anything sporty…but I do like the beach…well the ocean. I like the smell of the fresh clean salt water and the way the wind blows your hair and the feel of the salt air on your skin. But I tend to stay away from the beach and ocean."

The blonde frowned, "Why if you like it so much?"

Amber giggled and held up her arm and pointed to her skin, "Umm…white skin…bright hot sun…does not mix well and normally ends in me being as red as a tomato and in a lot of pain."

The blonde giggled and it was a sweet sound to Amber. "You're cute…very cute. So did you come here with anybody?"

Amber pointed to Ran and Jason, "Yeah those two. Ran, she's my best friend, and Jason…kind of her boyfriend. He likes her a lot but she does not want anything serious…just fooling around."

Surfer girl smiled, "They make a cute couple…and he is that hot shot football guy, right? Yeah Brad…my umm date I guess he would be…bragged all about him. Very dull talk, but I am not a football fan. Oh, by the way, my name is Bridgette."

The blonde stuck her hand out and Amber shook it. Amber noticed her nails were not long, but nicely cut short and painted a powder blue. "That figures…I mean nice to meet you Bridgette, I'm Amber." Bridgette smiled and pulled Ambers hand closer to her face.

"Wow…perfect nails…I love them. The blood red polish is sexy…a little dark and scary...but sexy. Are they yours or fake? And your eyes…I must tell you Amber, you have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen and so green. I have to know…contacts or real? Oh…I did not mean to offend you. And what did you mean by 'that figures'?"

Amber blushed for a number of reasons, one was the compliments, two for being asked if her eyes and nails were real, and three for being caught for the slip of the tongue. "I…well I said it figures because of your name. I mean nothing bad or anything…but well…a beautiful surfer girl named Bridgette…it just fits perfectly. And yes the nails and eyes are all mine. No fakes and thank you."

Bridgette smiled and stared in Amber's eyes, "Your sexy when you blush…and thank you for telling me I was beautiful…you are too...very much so. And my name…yeah I guess mom and dad knew when I was born. It does fit huh?" Bridgette kept staring and Amber started blushing more and looked away.

"Sorry, Amber…I just could not get enough of your eyes. I did not…well…you get a little uncomfortable when a girl flirts with you huh?"

"Is that what you were doing? Flirting?" Amber asked softly and still looked down and her feet.

"Yeah I was…sorry…I can go if you want me too. I just can't help but flirt with a beautiful girl…sorry. I need to keep my mouth shut at times…I mean I can tell you are not used to it and it makes you feel weird when another girl is attracted to you. I'll leave you alone and my sincere apology." Bridgette said and stood up. Amber saw she was wearing a short jean skirt that was pleated all around and flared out below her butt, no stockings, she did not need any with those perfect tanned legs, and a blue polo shirt she had untucked. She stood about five five and had an awesome body. Bridgette had a perfect looking butt, thin waist and breasts that were large but not to large. Amber looked at her own chest and sighed; she then grabbed the blonde's arm.

"No please…I was not offended…sit down, please. This is first time since I've been here I was not bored."

Bridgette smiled and sat back down, "I'll tone down the flirtation. Or try to." She winked at Amber who blushed again. _If she only knew_, Amber thought, _but it may be fun to play her game_, Amber smiled and noticed the girl did sit closer than before. The two talked, as best they could with the loud music blaring, and giggled and laughed. Amber thought she was sweet and it was nice to talk to someone who did not know her. The surfer girl took a sip of her drink and Amber asked her what she was drinking.

"Oh…just a wine cooler, I'm pretty much of a light weight when it comes to drinking and I hate the taste so this is perfect for me. Not much alcohol in it and it tastes like a fruit drink. Want a sip?"

Amber shook her head, "I don't drink…I don't like the taste and the feeling and stuff."

Bridgette smiled, "I know what you mean…that's why I drink this stuff. I'm not a huge drinker or anything...usually about three of these I am stop. Here…try it." She held the cup to Amber's mouth and Amber felt she had to take a sip to be polite. The Goth girl sipped a small amount and was pleasantly surprised with the taste. It was fruity taste and no taste if alcohol. It was actually good. She smiled at Bridgette.

"That was actually yummy…can…can I have another sip?"

"Sure, baby…here take mine. I'll get another in a minute." Bridgette handed Amber her cup, which was full.

Amber took another sip and then a bigger one. She was surprised it tasted like juice. She then gulped about half the drink down and smiled.

"Whoa…slow down, Amber…just because it doesn't taste like it does not mean it doesn't have a kick especially if you are not used to drinking."

Amber smiled, "Oh…it's fine…can't feel anything…whoa…ok that was something." Amber felt a warm rush over her body and her face felt flushed and her she felt a little light headed. It was not a bad feeling…it actually felt pleasant. She took another big gulp and emptied the cup in her mouth. Amber was very knowledgeable about a lot of things, but drinking alcohol was not one of them.

"Umm…can I have some more?" She asked like a child asking for more candy. Bridgette laughed.

"Sure…but promise me you will not gulp this one down and no more after this cup. You are small and not used to it. I'm telling you, Amber, it will sneak up on you…ok?"

Amber nodded and Bridgette left to get another drink for her and Amber. Amber waited and thought it was not a big deal, drinking. She felt fine, a little light headed, but fine. _Well, better than fine. It made me feel good. Plus it was just one cup and there is not way two will make me drunk_. She decided to sip the second one slowly and she would be fine. Bridgette came back shortly with two cups. She handed Amber hers and sat back down.

The two girls talked some more and Amber giggled more than she did before and even asked for a third cup of the wine cooler. Bridgette told her ok but this was the last one. Amber shrugged and thought one more would be ok. She was positive she was not drunk and her normal self as she sipped her third wine cooler and thought she was feeling good…real good. Bridgette finally got around to the question Amber was dreading.

"So…you were deep in thought earlier. Mind if I ask what about? You looked kind of sad."

"Umm…well I just broke up with my…with Sam and was thinking of that."

Bridgette placed a hand on Amber's thigh. Amber noticed she touched the portion of her thigh that was not covered by the black socks. She did not move away of flinch and felt a rush of warmth in her face that was not from the drink. "I'm sorry. Did the two of you date long? And of course I don't know the whole story, but any guy who would break up with someone as pretty and sweet and funny as you must be crazy. If you want to talk about it…you can."

Amber noticed how Bridgette assumed Sam was a boy based on the name. It was as Amber planned. _Yeah, Ran was right, I can play the game when I want_. "Well…I don't know…it is complicated I guess. You know the deal…in love with someone else and getting dumped so Sam could be that that person…the classic story to sum it up." Amber reached for her drink, which only had one more swallow in it. She was disappointed because she wanted more. Amber put it to her lips when Bridgette replied.

"You know…this may sound weird and all…but my dad once told me that talking to a stranger about your problems is sometimes better than talking to a friend."

Amber spewed her mouth full of wine cooler out of her mouth and all over her blouse. That was very similar to what her mom used to say. "Oh, God…I am so sorry. I cannot believe I just did that…I made a mess huh? Damn I can be such a dork at times." Amber said quickly as she looked around for something to wipe herself off with. Not finding anything, she stood up and sat back down very quickly. Her head was spinning, "I…whoa…I…I'd better go clean up."

Bridgette stood up with her and giggled, "I'll help…and being dorky can be cute." She grabbed Amber's hand, "Come on…the bathroom down stairs is too crowded and the kitchen is full of people," Bridgette looked at Amber chest, "And well…umm we do not want anyone to see…well your shirt is wet and your bra is thin…and well…Amber, you can see right through both. Let's not give the boys a free show. We can go to the master bedroom. There is a bathroom up there that should not be crowded." Amber looked down and saw Bridgette was right. She could see through the blouse and bra and her small breasts could be seen. She blushed and let the surfer girl lead her through crowd and up the stairs. She glanced back and saw Ran and Jason dancing to a slow song and their lips locked together. Her friend did not see her leave, which was perfectly fine by Amber.

Once they got into the bedroom Amber saw Bridgette was wrong, the bathroom was occupied by a couple on the verge of having sex. Bridgette motioned for Amber to sit on the bed, which the Goth girl was happy to do since her head was still spinning, and the blonde walked into the bathroom. "Sorry, guys, but I need to be in here right now…I…umm…I just got my period and have no tampons." The boy gave her a look that read "who cares" but the girl smiled sadly in understanding and led the boy out of the room. Amber giggled at Bridgette's deception. Bridgette shut the door to the bedroom and went into the bathroom. She came back a moment later with a wet cloth and started to wipe Amber's chest.

Amber let a moan slip out when Bridgette's hand touched her breasts and her nipples grew erect. She leaned back a little and then the blonde stopped. "Oh shit…sorry…umm maybe you should do it. I did not mean to…I was not thinking. We are going to need to find you another shirt. I have some in the guest room in my bag. It may be too big but better than flashing everyone tonight." Bridgette smiled down at Amber, who smiled back. "Umm…I do have another bra…but well…I…"

Amber giggled, "Yeah it would not fit…you can say it you know. I know I have small boobs."

Bridgette smiled and started to wipe Amber's chest again, "Yeah…but small does not mean bad. I mean…you're a small girl and your boobs are perfect for your body. And…and I think you are very pretty and sexy." Amber closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip to stop herself from moaning again in pleasure. Instead of a moan she let out a little involuntary squeak. Bridgette stopped.

"Oh damn…sorry I forgot…I did not mean to…here you had better do it." Bridgette held out the cloth for Amber to take. Amber did not open her eyes and shook her head, "Umm…no…it's ok…I…I want you to do it."

She did not see Bridgette's devious smile but did feel the blonde wipe her shirt again and the surfer girl paid very close attention to her breasts and nipples. Amber's head was spinning from both the alcohol and the way Bridgette used the cloth to massage her breasts. She moaned again and leaned back on the bed on her elbows. She felt herself getting aroused. She then opened her eyes and let out a gasp of surprise and pleasure as Bridgette started to pull the blouse over her head.

"We need to get this off so we can put it in the dryer. I'll run get you another shirt and you can wait here. Oh…I need your bra as well." Bridgette said nonchalantly and Amber wondered if Bridgette's caresses were innocent. She then gasped in pleasure as Bridgette's hands finished removing her shirt and while she did the blonde's hands lightly ran up Amber's stomach and paused at her breasts. Bridgette then unhooked the Goth's bra, which clasped in the front, and her fingers started to caress her nipples. Amber leaned back again and let out a loud moan of pleasure. It felt so wonderful to have the girl tease her nipples. It had been to long since she had sex and she felt herself get wet between her legs. She then felt Bridgette's warm breath close to her mouth.

"Umm…Amber…would you mind if I kissed you?" Bridgette whispered.

"N…no…please…ohm…yes…kiss me…please…ohhhh that feeeeels goood." Amber moaned out as the surfer girl played with her nipples harder. Bridgette gently pushed Amber down on the bed and straddled her. The blonde looked first in the other girl's eyes and then at her breasts and spread her bra further apart.

"God…you are _so beautiful_…and you _do_ have nice breasts." She said and leaned her face to Amber's and her lips lightly brushed against The Goth's. Bridgette teased her with her lips and Amber wanted to pull her closer. The Goth leaned up and forced her lips onto the blondes. Bridgette pressed against her harder and soon their tongues touched and explored each other's mouths with passion. Both girls moaned and soon Bridgette's hands found their way under Amber's butt and the surfer girl lifted the other girl's skirt and started massaging her butt cheeks. Amber gasped loudly in pleasure when Bridgette started kissing her neck. She started to thrust her hips and rub her pelvic against Bridgette's. She wanted to beg this lovely blonde girl to kiss her more, to fuck her, to tell her how much she wanted her, but Amber still played the game of the virgin to girl on girl sex and that game turned her on more. Soon she pulled Bridgette's head up and looked into those wonderful blue eyes.

"Can…can…I see…can I see yours?" She asked timidly. Bridgette smiled and rolled off Amber and sat the girl up. Both girls were sitting side by side with Amber's blouse off and her bra hanging open on her chest. Bridgette pulled off her shirt and then slowly unclasped her bra. Amber took in a loud gasp of breath as she looked at the blonde's naked top. Her breasts her perfectly shaped and larger than hers and tipped by brown nipples and she did not have tan lines. Amber started at them and felt Bridgette's hand on her chin and allowed the other girl to pull her head up to look at her.

"Would you like to touch them?" She asked.

"Oh God yes." Amber replied and gently placed her hands on the perfect breasts. She caressed them and played with the nipples gently. They were wonderful and firm.

"Suck them, Amber, I want to feel your mouth on them." Bridgette told her. Amber took a large gulp and leaned down and sucked the blonde's nipples. She teased them with her tongue and fingers and lightly bit them. Bridgette grabbed her head and pulled her harder into her chest and let out moans and gasps of pleasure. After a moment she brought Amber's head up and the girl's were kissing again. As they kissed Amber felt the blonde touch her thigh and pull her legs apart. She gasped as Bridgette lightly ran her fingers over her thighs teasing her. Amber kissed her harder and allowed her legs to be spread further apart. Soon Amber felt Bridgette brush against her pussy and she let out a loud moan. It felt so wonderful and she knew her panties were soaked where Bridgette's fingers now explored. Amber stiffened a little as she thought she heard a noise from the door and she turned her head to look, but Bridgette pulled her back and kissed her deeper and her finger found the Goth girl's clit. Amber let out a high pitched squeal of pleasure and thrust her hips against Bridgette's finger; she forgot all about the noise she thought she heard.

"Ohhh…please, Bridgette…please…more…ohhhhh God moooore." Amber gasped out. Bridgette then broke the kiss and started sucking her nipples again while she teased the other girl's clit. Amber was lost in the pleasure and the teasing. She closed her eyes and moaned and gasped and begged Bridgette not to stop. Suddenly Amber felt her head being turned and another set of lips pressed against her lips. It was different than kissing Bridgette. I was more forceful and she could feel stubble around her lips. She pulled back and opened her eyes and saw Brad, Bridgette's boyfriend, sitting next to her on the bed. Amber was shocked and about to pull away when she felt Bridgette's finger work it's way under her panties and penetrate her wet pussy. She let out a loud husky moan of pleasure and pressed her lips back to the boys. His tongue entered her mouth willingly and hers wrapped around it. Amber felt Bridgette's hands go under the waste band of her panties and pull them off. The Goth lifted her hips to help her. Brad then started sucking her nipples and biting them and Amber held his head tight against her breasts as Bridgette teased her pussy.

"God…you have a beautiful pussy, Amber." Bridgette commented as she spread the wet lips apart and inserted her tongue inside the other girl which caused Amber to let out a long high pitched moan of pleasure. She wanted to fall on the bed and allow herself to be used, but she was held up by Brad and then vaguely felt her right hand being pulled from his head and guided to his lap. She felt the hardness of his erect penis through his jeans and Amber started to run her fingers over the shaft lightly at first and then with more force. Brad groaned as he still sucked her nipples.

"You like that…don't you Amber. You want this. Look at me!" She heard order her and looked down and saw the blonde looking up at her with those sky blue eyes.

"I…Ohhhh…I…no…no…please…I can't…ohhhh God that feels good…I…yes…ohhhh God yes…I want it..moooore…of that…moooore." Amber started to protest until Bridgette touched her clit and Brad inserted two large fingers in inside her pussy and commented how tight and wet she was and started thrusting his finger in and out hard and Amber fell back on the bed withering and moaning in pleasure. She felt Bridgette place her hands under her butt and lift her legs up. She jerked in surprise and pleasure as the blondes tongue teased and then plunged into her ass. Amber groaned and begged them not to stop. She was still rubbing Brad's erect penis and rubbed it harder and harder. He groaned and continued to thrust his large fingers in and out of her. She felt Bridgette remove her tongue from her.

"You want to suck his dick, don't you? You want to feel it inside your mouth, don't you?" She teased.

"I…no…I…yes…oh God yeeees!" Amber moaned out.

"Tell him…tell him what you want!" Bridgette ordered.

"I…no…I…ohhhh fuuuuck…that feels good….I…I want him in my mouth…I want to feel it in my mouth." Amber screamed out. "Please…please make me cum…I…I…need it." She begged and heard Bridgette chuckle.

"Oh, you get to cum…a lot…we are going to fuck you, Amber. Brad is going to fuck your mouth and you are going to swallow his cum. Then you are going to please me and then he is going to fuck your sweet tight pussy while you lick and suck mine." Bridgette teased as her fingers rubbed Amber's clit.

"Yeeesss…just please…don't stop!...Pleeeeaaase don't stop. Anything…I'll….awwwww yess…I'll do anything you…want…just don't…stoooop!" Amber whined her pleas and begging.

Amber felt her orgasm building when she heard a bang of the door being opened and people yelling.

"What the fuck are you doing to her? I should kick your fucking ass!" A female voice screamed and another one yelled out in pain and started cursing. Amber also heard two boys yelling and cursing. Amber opened her eyes and saw Ran pulling Bridgette to her feet by her arm and in the corner saw Jason and Brad squared off getting ready to fight.

Amber quickly got up and grabbed her shirt and panties from the floor and ran into the bathroom. As she got dressed she heard more cursing and yelling and words like whore, bitch, cunt, asshole, motherfucker, she wanted it, she was doing it willingly, she never said stop, and finally get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass. She heard the door being slammed shut and then heard Ran ask Jason to leave. Amber heard the door slam shut again and she slowly walked out of the bathroom. She kept her head down low and would not look up but she knew Ran was still in the room. She refused to look up. She was angry and ashamed. Angry Ran was trying to watch over her every move and ashamed of what she almost very willing did and wanted, and ashamed both Ran and Jason saw it. She felt sick to her stomach and wanted to throw up. Her head was spinning and she felt very sluggish. The alcohol was getting her. She slipped on her heels and stood there looking at her feet.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Look at me, Amber! I can't believe you!" Ran was screaming at her but Amber could tell she was crying as well.

"No…I…I want to go home! Just let me go home!" Amber yelled back without looking up and tears welled in her eyes.

"Damn it Amber…I…this was fucked up! I cannot believe you! Oh were are going home right now! We are not done talking about this! I…damn you, Amber! Do you now how fucking scared I was! Do you know what I thought when I saw what you were doing! I thought they were…you did…I thought they were fucking raping you! And then to find out you were doing it willingly…and…and you have been drinking! You don't fucking drink! Come on, we are leaving!" Ran screamed through her tears and grabbed Amber's arm. Amber jerked her arm away, she still refused to look up.

"No! I want to go to my home not yours! And…and if you won't take me, I'll walk!" Amber yelled back and ran out the door.

"Amber…Ams…come back here!" Ran screamed after her.

Amber ran from the house, ignored Wesley when he asked if she was ok, and ran through the yard. She tripped once and fell flat on her face in the dark dirt. She got up and started walking fast down the street. Soon she heard a car horn behind her honk but she refused to turn around. The car pulled up next to her and she heard Jason's voice and looked up and saw him leaning out the passenger side window.

"Come on Amber, it's at least a twenty five or thirty mile walk back to your house and we are not in the best neighborhood. You may get mugged or worse. Please get in the car."

"No! I am walking. And…and maybe I want to get raped! Hell, maybe I would like it…you know me 'Amber the freaky slut whore'! I am walking! I want to go home…I am not going to that fucking bitch's house! She is…is not a real true friend anyway and…just leave me alone!" Amber pointed at Ran. Amber heard the breaks of Ran's car squeal as the Asian slammed her car to a stop, and the Goth started walking faster and almost tripped again. She heard footsteps running behind her and soon felt her arm being grabbed hard and she was spun around; she would have fell if not for the arm holding her up. She looked up at Ran and saw anger in the Asian's face she never saw before and something worse. She saw hurt. Amber never called Ran a bitch in her anger before; sure she did when they teased one another but never the way she just said it. Ran was still crying. Amber was scared and tried to back away.

"Ran…I'm sorry…I did not mean to call you a bitch…I'm sorry." Amber pleaded as she backed up and fell on the ground.

Ran looked down at her, "Fuck you, Amber! You want to walk…fucking walk! Do you think I care if you called me a bitch? I have been called that and worse! No…it is the other thing you said…not a true friend! Well fuck you! That is all I have ever been to you…and…and…the hell with you! If this is the way you are going to act because you got dumped then act this fucking way! If you want to fuck every thing that walks go ahead. Will it make you feel better to fuck me? Hell lets go back in the car and you can fuck me! Then Jason can have a turn! If that is how you want to be from now one…then fine! Be a whore! You are not the first person to get dumped! You are not the first person to have a broken heart! Grow up Amber! But if you are going to be so fucked up in the head about it, then do it! But I will tell you one thing, we are done! We are no longer friends! I have tried…ohhhh…fuck you! I have tried…I did my best…I have protected you and took care of you in all your fucking drama for twelve fucking years and never once not _fucking once_ did I ask for anything in return! I never wanted anything in return but your friendship and love! And do you know why! Because I fucking love you, Amber! You are like a sister…not closer than a sister to me! You are like a part of me! But no fucking more! If you are going to treat me…tell me I am not a true friend after all I have done for you, then we are done! Go to your fucking home and be stupid and slit your fucking wrists over a girl who dumped you…who is not worth it by the way…see if I care or even come to the fucking funeral! I'm tired Amber…I'm so tired of your drama! We are done Amber…as of now I do not have a best friend! You just broke my heart, Ams." Ran was crying hard and sobbing and looking down at Amber. She did not even attempt to help the other girl up. Jason was standing by the car with a shocked look on his face and Amber was stunned. Ran waited a few seconds and turned around and got back in the car, told Jason to get in or stay she did not care, and started it. Jason looked at Amber and then the car and got in. Ran drove away.

Amber rolled over to her ands and knees and tried to get up, but she did not have the strength. She sobbed hard and got the hiccups due to her crying. "Raaann! *hiccup* Please…please don't leave me! Raaann *hiccup*…please *hiccup* come back! *hiccup* Raaannn I am *hiccup* sooo sorry! Please not *hiccup* you too!" Amber cried and yelled at the top of her lungs. "Raaaa…blaaaahh…" The Goth girl threw up on the ground several times and then started dry heaving. She was crying as if her heart has been ripped from her chest, hiccupping, and vomiting. She had vomit all over her clothes and in her hair but she did not care, she just cried louder.

Ran drove about a mile before Jason said anything. "Ran, turn the fucking car around or stop and let me out! You cannot leave her!" Jason yelled at Ran as the Asian girl drove and cried. "Ran, I swear I'll jump out!"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Ran said through her tears. She drove about another half mile and pulled into the parking lot of a closed strip mall. She then slammed her fists on the steering wheel and cried. After beating the car several times she laid her head on the steering wheel and cried. "Fuck her! How…damn her…I…Fuck!" She tossed her cell phone at Jason. "Call Wesley and have someone pick her up and take her home…_to her home_. _I don't want her at my house!_ And make sure the person who takes her home is sober."

Jason dialed Wesley's number and was surprised it got picked up. After a brief hold he got Wesley on the phone. Jason explained about Amber, leaving a lot of the details out, and hung up the phone chuckling.

"What is so funny?" Ran demanded through her tears.

"Nothing…just…he got about twenty volunteers to go pick her up…he decided on his little sister. She just got her license and does not drink or anything. She was in the basement watching TV so she would be ok with it." Ran nodded. Wesley's little sister went to a Catholic private school and was a sweet girl.

"Ran…I know what she did was…it was terrible and I am really glad we were there to stop her from making a huge mistake…but what you said…I…she does not need that from you of all people. It was harsh…very harsh. She is hurting Ran…bad."

"Fuck her! She's hurting…what about me? What about my mom and dad who took her skinny ass in after her mom and dad died? Ever since I have known her I have protected her and helped her and never asked for anything in return…and she has the fucking nerve to tell me I am not a true friend…well fuck her!"

"Ran…you may be right about trying to protect her all the time, but that does not mean you cannot be her friend…I mean…I like and care about her and we go back…not like you and her…but ever since we were like eleven. We only became friends because of our brothers and I found out I liked her as a friend. But…yeah you have to give it up. She needs to grow up and you won't be there for her forever. You go off to college next year and she does too and you can't be there then. I never did understand why you did…look after her like you do…I mean…it's like…well…like she is your child or something. Anyway, you can let her go partially and still be her best friend."

Jason expected her to blow up and even prepared himself for the yelling and screaming. He never saw Ran cry and knew she was upset and knew an argument was coming but the girl surprised him. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with her right hand and then reached for Jason's hand to hold. She was still crying but calmed down a little. Ran took a deep breath.

"Jason, it is hard to explain…I mean…you are going to think this is so stupid and silly…but…" Ran took a deep breath, "ok here goes and please don't laugh. We met the first day at kindergarten…and some jerk of a boy singled her out and began to bully her. Maybe because she was so small…I don't know…hell we were only five…anyway I knocked him on his ass and told her…this is silly I know…but I told her she was my best friend from now on and he would never hurt her again. And that was it…we were best friends and inseparable ever since. And then…when her mom and dad died…ok this is silly…hell I was only fourteen what did I know…anyway my mom and dad are devout Catholics and all…very devout…anyway when she moved in with us I was pissed…not at her…I was pissed at God. I was pissed her took her parents from her and even me. I loved them…but I was more angry at the pain she was going through…it was terrible, Jason, to see her like that. It was the one time I could not protect her from being hurt. So…anyway…I made a promise to a God I no longer believed in that no one…not even Him would ever hurt that girl again. I promised Him if he tried he would have to kill me first to get to her. I have not been to Mass ever since. Crazy I know, but I think God is finally punishing me…punishing me through her. Allowing her to be hurt in so many ways to take revenge on me." She looked in Jason's eyes and kissed his hand again.

Jason leaned over and kissed her cheek. "No baby not silly…Ran, maybe a little superstitious but not silly. Superstition is something I can understand. Hell we have guys on our team when we are on wining streak that wear the same underwear or socks and some don't even wash them." He grinned his charming grin and Ran could not help but laugh.

"Ewww, that's gross. Jason, I'm glad you broke up with Maria…very glad…but I want to let you know why I don't want to get serious…of course we basically are. I mean…I am not dating anyone else…anyway; we are both going to college next year and I am most likely going to UCLA and you USC and it would not be…I could not handle you dumping me for some sexy coed or something. But…I do like you…a lot."

Jason smiled, "Yeah I know…and I like you more than a lot. But still…that was bad what you did to Amber."

"Jason…I'm tired of it. I love her, God knows I love her so much, but I'm exhausted, honey, I'm so tired of taking care of her and her drama. Do you know that over the summer it was kind of nice that she was dating Sam, which I never thought was a good idea. I like Sam...or did…but she…well you know how she is. I worried she would hurt Amber physically…but hell, Amber has been in love with her since freshman year. Anyway, I felt like I could relax and not worry so much about her and…well…it was a relief. I missed her…a lot…but it was peaceful." Ran let go of Jason's hand and wiped her eyes again and grabbed his hand once more. "I…I know it was harsh…but I can't take it anymore. I…I…" Ran started crying harder again, "I just can't handle it…I love her, Jason, but I cannot take care of her anymore. I'm worn out with it. I'm not her mother and my mother is not her mother as much as she tries to be. Amber has some serious issues…and…I can't take staying up all night worrying about her. Maybe…maybe I love her too much and it is partly my fault that I try and protect her so much. I know I do that…but I can't help it." Ran once again wiped her eyes. "Someone else needs to look after her or she needs to take car of herself for a change. Her brother spoils her too much and hell he is across the world anyway. And mom and dad…well…they still treat her like her parents just died and would never give her the strength she needs. Hell, her problem is that she is just too damn charming and does not realize she uses it and people who get to know her just fall in love with her. God forbid if she knew how to use it…we would all be in trouble then. Anyway, I cannot be that person anymore…I just can't! Maybe she…she needs help…professional help."

Jason nodded and but did not really agree but now was not the time for that. He thought Amber was just a screwed up seventeen year old teenage girl who has experienced some tragic events in her life and does not know how to deal it them. _Hell, maybe she does need help._

"Do me a favor, Jason, call her tomorrow and help her move her stuff…ok"

"Sure, baby…I'll get Freddie to help." Jason sighed and they remained silent until they got to Jason's car. They kissed passionately for a few minutes and he got out and Ran drove home. She cried all the way home and fell asleep with a broken heart and hoping she did the right thing.

Bristol, Wesley's sister, picked Amber up and drove her to Ran's house per the Goth's instructions. Bristol felt sorry for the other girl and kept quite. Amber thought she was a sweet polite girl and thanked her and offered her some gas money, which she was thankful she declined because she did not have any money on her. She left her purse in Ran's car. Amber walked up to Ran's home and saw her bedroom light was out. She sighed and realized she did not have her cell phone to call Ran's private line. There was no way she could ring the bell and wake up Mr. and Mrs. Isuel. They would freak seeing her looking like she did. Bristol was long gone and she had no where to go and no way to call anyone. She looked at her watch and it was almost three in the morning. She looked and saw Ran's car was not in he garage and preyed it would be unlocked. Luck…or God was with her as she opened the door and dug around the back seat and found her purse. She pulled out her cell and flipped it open and groaned. The window picture was of her and Sam. She pressed *67 to block her number and dialed Sam's cell. She hung up after it went to voice mail. She cursed herself for being stupid and dialed Ran's private phone.

"'Ello," the sleepy voice answered.

"Ran…it's me…Amber…I…"

"Are you safe?"

"Yes…Wesley's sister drove me…Ran…I…" Amber started but Ran cut her off.

"Why did you call? I made myself very clear or thought I did. _Don't call me_!" Ran said harshly.

"Oh…ok…" Amber hung up her phone. A minute later she dialed Ran's number again.

"Amber, I told you…"

"Ran…I…I'm at your house…outside. Please let me in…I…just please let me in and you don't have to talk to me. I'm cold…I left my jacket at the party." Amber sobbed out.

"Fuck…ok be down in a second. Go to the back. I need to turn off the alarm…and don't wake my mom. God I would hate to try and explain anything to her tonight."

"Ok…Ran…I…"

"Just hang the phone up Amber…I'm on my way down."

Three minutes later Ran opened the back door and saw Amber waiting on the porch swing. It was dark on that side of the porch and Ran could only make out the shadow if the girl swinging and hear her crying.

"Amber…Amber come on…its cold." Ran whispered

When she stepped into the light Ran's heart melted. Amber's face was spotted with dirt, he knees were skinned a little, her mascara was running down her cheeks, her skirt was ripped, and the black socks were rolled down to her ankles. Her hair was wild looking and one braid hung loose and she had vomit over her mouth, chin, and in her hair. She stood there shivering from the cold.

"Ohhh…poor, baby…what happened? You look pitiful." She asked as tears came to her eyes again at the sight. Amber's clothes were a mess along with her hair and makeup. "I…I got sick." She replied and started to cry harder as she bit her bottom lip.

"Ohhh…sweetie…come in and let's get you cleaned up. You need a shower…you smell bad." Ran opened the door wider and let Amber walk in the house. They made it to the Asian girl's room and Ran took off Amber's clothes and put her in the shower. As Amber showered, Ran laid out one of her tee shirts for the girl to wear to bed. She waited and soon Amber walked out of the bathroom that was attached to Ran's room. She was wrapped in a green towel. She kept looking down at her feet and Ran tossed her the tee shirt. Amber put it on and it came down to her knees. It was too big for Ran and huge for her. She was glad it was long since she did not have any underwear one. The panties she had on earlier were filthy and she was not going to put them back on her now clean body.

"T…thanks…guess I'll go to bed. I'll leave in the morning if you can give me a ride home…or maybe your mom can." Amber said softly, still not looking up.

"Oh fuck no! You don't get off that easy. First get you ass in bed and get some sleep. Then tomorrow we have a heart to heart." Ran replied harshly, but her face showed no anger, only sadness.

Amber smiled a little, "You sure…I…I don't want to be a problem to you Ran. I…I never wanted to be a problem for you, Ran. I love you and…and I never wanted to cause you of all people problems. I'm so sorry I did. If you would have told me a long time ago I was a problem to you I would have changed…I promise you that. I love you and cannot stand not having you in my life. I'm very sorry I'm a burden to you and for the thing I said tonight. I did not mean it. I…I never meant to break your heart." Amber said and to Ran it was sincere. Ran believed…no she knew the girl meant it, but she was not going to get off with flashing that adoring smile and charm and everything will be perfect again.

"Just get in bed, Ams, I'm tired…and…I love you to. But you hurt me, girl, you hurt me bad. And…I'm…I don't know how long I can handle it…you…I'm tired, baby, tired of the drama and of the fear I feel when it comes to you. No get in the damn bed and go to sleep."

Amber smiled and crawled in the bed and got under the covers. Ran sighed…_Fuck_! D_amn her charm_…and got in bed as well. She turned her back to Amber and tried to go to sleep but felt Amber poke her back twice.

"Ran…does this mean we are friends again?" The girl asked softly.

"Yes, Ams, now go to sleep…I'm tired."

A few moments later she got poked twice in the back again. "What now."

"Does that mean you still love me?"

"Ughhhh…yes, baby, I love you…I never stopped…now go to sleep."

A few moments later another two pokes in her back. "Ams…what"

"Does this mean you would come to my funeral?"

"Awwww…yes, honey, I would be the first one there and not leave you until everyone else left. They would have to drag me away by force. Now one last time…_go to sleep_."

Ran closed her eyes and was just about asleep in that feel good limbo mode when another two pokes in her back. "What!"

"Can I cuddle with you while we sleep?"

Ran turned around and chuckled and hugged her friend. _Damn I hate her charm_, she thought, _she wins all the time with it!_ She pushed the girl back a little, "Ams, I love you girl…and yes we can cuddle…but you owe me…I meant what I said tonight…some things. I meant when I said I have never asked for anything in our friendship…I just wanted your love and that was enough and I was…am…willing to give you anything in return…well not that…But I am asking for two things now Amber. One…we…no you…sit down with mom and dad and you talk to them about getting you some help. Professional help. You terrified me tonight…what you did…it was…I am still shocked and scared for you. Amber…sex is not love you know that. What you would have done was fucked up. And you did it because you felt you wanted or needed to feel loved…that hurt me…can't you see I love you and don't want anything in return. It hurt because my love was not enough…or felt that way. And to see you willing to have sex with some skank and her boyfriend just to feel needed and wanted was…was terrible for me. I know our love is not a romantic one and God knows I don't want it to be, but I always thought it was deeper than that…more special than that. I have never been in romantic love and right now I think I love Jason and what I feel for him is nothing like the love I have for you. It's different of course. It has lust and desire and all that I don't feel with you…but…but…what I feel for you is more special. I'm worried for you. So you talk to them…you don't have to give them all the details…but you talk to them and get help."

Amber sniffled, "Ok…but…Ran…will you be in the room with me when I talk to them?"

Ran ran her hand through Amber's wet hair, "Of course, baby. Now the next thing…you call Patrick tomorrow and you explain some things to him. Please don't give him the details about tonight at the party…God, he would kill everyone that was there…but…Ams…he needs to come home. He needs to be here. And I know he would be if you asked him…or if he knew what was going on in that pretty little head of yours. Those are it…I will never ask anything of you again. And I will tell you this, Ams…if you don't do these two things I mean what I said earlier…that I can't be your friend. It would break my heart to where it would never heal, but I can't do it anymore, baby. I'm tired of it and exhausted by it. I love you, girl, and if I mean anything to you then you will do it those two things."

Amber sniffed again, "Ok…I will…I promise. I can't lose you Ran. You of all people I could not stand to lose. Am sorry I broke your heart."

"Well you did…and…it hurt, Amber, bad and I will tell you…I am not over it yet…it will take some time. Now lets get some sleep…I'm tired and Jason is going to help us get your things from Sam's and he is going to get Freddie to help. With two strong boys there we can just sit back and relax while they move everything. Hell I may even let you do my nails. No go to sleep." She kissed Amber lips is a very loving but friendly way and rolled over. Soon she felt Amber's arms wrap around her and she smiled. Amber suddenly hugged her tight and whispered in her ear, "You said you love Jason…that is wonderful!"

"Ams…go to sleep!" Amber giggled and the two girls drifted to sleep.

**A/N – I do not intend to insult the band Metllica. Please do not take it as me putting them down. This is Amber point of view of the band. Well mine to, but just because I do not like their music I do respect what they have accomplished. Thank you.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – The Morning After

The next morning Ran woke up and looked outside her window. It was already light outside and she glanced at her clock and noticed it was ten o'clock. She cursed and untangled Amber's arms from her body and got out of bed. She hated sleeping past seven in the morning. It made her feel she wasted the day. She glanced at Amber and smiled at the sleeping girl. She looked so peaceful and cute. Ran ran her fingers through the girl's hair and sighed sadly.

"Poor, girl…but I mean it, Ams...to me our friendship has always been unconditional, but you owe me this time." She muttered and started to feel guilty about what she said and then she heard those words Amber told her last night about not being a true friend. She felt the pain in her heart again and that pushed the guilt away. Ran got off the bed and heard Amber stir.

"R…Ran…I want to sleep more…do I have to get up?" The other girl said in a sleepy voice.

Ran turned, "No, Ams, you sleep. I am going for a jog anyway…helps me think and I need to do some serious thinking right now."

Amber's suddenly sat up in the bed, "Think…umm…about…?" She still sounded tired but scared as well.

"Ams, baby, go back to sleep…I should be back in an hour or so…and…we'll talk later over a brunch…we'll make mom cook for us."

Amber looked at her feet under the blanket, "R…Ran…should I be worried? I…I thought we talked last night…and…and I promised I would talk to your mom and dad and call Patrick…through I don't know if he would come home. He hates it here you know. I…Ran…I'm scared."

Ran looked at her friend sadly, _yeah, baby, I'm scared of what may happen between us too. I'll always love you…but it scares me as well,_ she thought but said out loud, "Stop being silly…I just need to clear my head. Things got crazy last night and the Jason thing is driving me nuts…so just go back to sleep, Ams, I'll be back soon to wake you."

Amber smiled sadly, "Ok," and she lay back down, turned her back to Ran, and pulled the blanket and sheets back over her head. She did not want Ran to see her cry…she wanted to prove to her best friend she could be strong.

Ran changed into her running clothes, put on her running shoes, and left the room. She walked out of the house, going out the front door so she would not have to run into her mom and dad who would be sitting in the kitchen drinking their tea and reading the paper and talking. A Saturday ritual for them. Once outside she stretched out her muscles and started her morning run. Ran loved the time she spent running. It cleared her head, gave her time to think, and she made a lot of good choices because of running. She also loved the pain and burning of her lungs and muscles when she pushed herself to almost collapse. She thrived on trying to beat her body. Running to her was a competition between her willpower and body and she wanted the willpower to win every time. She normally ran six or seven miles every morning, but today she was going to push it further. She needed to push it today. To think and determine if she was going to make the right choice today. She never listened to music when she ran, it distracted her from her thoughts. Last night she was to full of emotion, she hated emotions. They made her lose control of herself and she hated to lose control. Today she could think clearer. Ran started her run, started as a jog, and then picked up the pace. Her "jogs" were not jogs, they were runs. She ran the familiar route and saw some people she knew from her daily running and they gave her a friendly wave and she waved back more from instinct than from seeing who it was and a few times she vaguely heard the whistles, cat calls, or comments from boys and young men she ran past or who drove past her in their cars. She ignored it all as her mind pushed into gear to drive her body and her thoughts worked about Amber. Eight miles later, Ran sprinted the three hundred yards to her house and as soon as she hit the drive way she slowed to a walk. Walking around to the back of the house she glanced at her watch. She was breathing hard and the cold air burned her lungs, her muscles were tired and burned as well, and her heart was beating as if it was going to explode. Ran loved this feeling in her body.

_Fifty two minutes…not bad…almost seven minutes a mile…decent but I can do better_, she thought and walked into the back door and into the kitchen. Her mother was standing over the island cutting carrots. She looked up when she saw her daughter enter.

"Have a nice run, Hu-Ran?" Mrs. Isuel asked her daughter in Korean. She never understood her only child's need to push herself so hard when she ran or to exercise in general. Mrs. Isuel looked at her lovely daughter and smiled. She loved her daughter very much and they got along better than most teenage girls and their mothers. She had a very open relationship with Hu-Ran and her child knew she could talk to her about anything…something she did often. She loved those times spent with just her and her daughter talking about subjects from everyday things to more serious issues. When they first took Amber into their home, Mrs. Isuel thought Ran would be jealous, but the girl loved her best friend so much and jealousy never entered her thought. She just wished Hu-Ran was not so…cold…at times. She was not mean or cruel or unfeeling…she was just cold and the only people she ever showed emotions to was her, her husband, and Amber. Now she showed interest in a boy…oh she dated boys before, but she was always unemotional to them and they did not last long. Either they got tired of the fact she did not show them affection or open up to them or she got tired of them…quickly. But this boy Jason was different. Mrs. Isuel saw that and it made her happy. The only other boy Ran ever showed she actually liked was Amber's brother Patrick. Her daughter has had a crush on the boy for a long time.

"Yeah…good one today." Ran replied in English and walked over the refrigerator and grabbed a bottled water and then grabbed a carrot off the island and stood there eating it and drinking her water.

"Those are for your father's lunch…are you hungry, dear?" Mrs. Isuel asked in English this time.

"Yeah…and Ams should be up soon. I was hoping you would be a _wonderful_ mother and fix us something...maybe some breakfast food?" Ran asked hopefully.

Mrs. Isuel smiled, "I am a _wonderful_ mother if I cook for you or not…but yes I will cook you some breakfast food…I know I know…no pork for you…I believe Amber is up already. I heard your shower running as soon as you left for your run but she has yet to come down. Are the two of you going to be home for dinner tonight? I need to know so I can prepare something. You father and I are going out. He has a formal dinner party for his work tonight. Their fiscal year end ceremony or some such nonsense."

Ran smiled at her mom. She hated getting dressed up and going to these functions. Ran thought the only time her mother liked going out was when her parents used to go out with Amber's. They would stay out almost all night or either come home early and stay up all night talking and laughing. She knew her mom and dad missed their friends a great deal. Ran smiled as she thought how her and Amber would spend the night with one another on these occasions and drive their baby sitters insane. And then when their parents would stay in together or when the would come home and stay up talking, the two young girls would sneak out of bed and just listen to them and giggle at them. Ran frowned. _This is going to be hard…on both of us, _she thought and looked at her mother.

"Don't know…we are moving her stuff this afternoon and Jason and his friend Freddie are going to help and I thought it would be nice if I took them out for pizza…or maybe come here and order some since you won't be here. I just think I should be good and pay for their dinner at least."

Her mother smiled, "Wow, you can be nice. I am surprised. I am glad your young boy friend will help. Your father and I can finally meet him when he brings her things over here."

Ran shrugged and grabbed another carrot, which earned her a sharp look from her mother, "Maybe…if she decides to stay here. She may not."

"Well of course she is staying here, at least for a while. Why would she not? She knows she is always welcome in this home as if it were her own."

Ran shrugged and finished her second carrot, "Don't know…she just may…well she just may not want to, that's all."

Ran's mother, who started cutting up another carrot to replace the ones Ran took, put down her knife and looked at her daughter sternly. "Hu-Ran, what happened. Did the two of you have a falling out?"

"Mom…it is not that easy…I promise we'll talk… I promise…just right now I need to deal with some things. Please, give me time on this…ok." Mrs. Isuel saw the pain in her daughter's eyes and nodded. She always trusted her daughter to do the right thing and make the right decisions.

"Well I still want to meet that young man. What is his name again, Jack…yes I want to meet this Jack." Her mother teased.

"Mother…you know perfectly well his name is Jason…gesh…and if you do meet him, promise me you will not embarrass me...I kind of like this one and I may keep him for a while." Ran pleaded.

"Hu-Ran when did I ever embarrass you?" Her mother asked and smiled. She was happy her daughter finally found a boy she liked.

Ran turned and walked out of the kitchen, "Well let me go prepare a list of the times you and dad shattered all my hopes and dreams and desires." She yelled over her shoulder with a grin. She heard her mother laugh behind her.

Ran walked into her room and saw Amber sitting on the bed, which was made, still wearing the long tee shirt and looking at a white plastic garbage bag on the floor. Her hair was still wet and Ran knew her mom was right. She had been awake for a while. Amber looked up and smiled her charming smile…_God, I do not know why she wears makeup…she is lovely without it. Hell, I wish I looked that good…well at least I have a better body. Ok…don't fall for it this time, do not let her charm and those damn soul stealing eyes stop you from doing what you know is the best…for you if not her. Think about yourself for a change. You can't take care of her your whole life!_ Ran thought and smiled back and looked into those eyes again and sighed.

"Heard you been up for a while. Why didn't you go downstairs?" Ran asked.

Amber shrugged, "I don't have anything to wear. Those clothes," she kicked the plastic bag, "are ruined…so I don't have anything."

Ran chuckled, "Yeah…sorry about that, but they really smelled so I put them in there. The skirt was ripped and I didn't want mom to see them."

Amber looked up with worry on her face, "Oh…I didn't mean to say that you ruined them. I was not implying…"

"Calm down…God…we can run by your place and you can wear those jeans and you have underwear there and some tee shirts…you'll be fine."

"I can't wear those…yeah that would be great. Those jeans would be fine. Ran, can I use your makeup. I saw the stuff I brought you for Christmas last year…unused by the way…and…can I use some?"

"Sure…but…well…Ams, you look great without it. You really don't need to use any."

"Well…if you say so…ok…I won't wear any since you think I shouldn't." Amber said and Ran could since the concern in her voice.

"Damn, Amber, if you want to wear makeup then fucking wear it…God…would you stop acting like you have something to prove to me and stop agreeing with everything I say."

Tears welled up in Amber's eyes once again, "I…I'm sorry…please don't be mad at me…I…am trying, Ran. I just don't know how to act with you right now. I feel…well…do you know how it feels when you are walking into a room and you know someone is going to jump out and scare you but now when? That is how I feel. Knowing you are going to jump out but not when."

Ran sat down next to her friend and put her arm around her, "Ams, honey, act like Amber. And remember no matter what ever happens…today, tomorrow, next year, or whenever…I love you and will never stop loving you and your will always be my best friend. Now I need a shower and go down stairs and talk to mom, she's worried about you. By the way I did not say anything about last night but I know she knows we got home late. Don't say anything and she won't bring it up until we are together anyway." She kissed Amber forehead and got up and went into the bathroom while Amber went downstairs thinking about what Ran said…no matter what happens. That scared the girl.

Ran got downstairs after her shower and saw her mom and Amber cooking breakfast and laughing. Amber turned to her and smiled and told her it should be ready soon. When the brunch was ready Amber and Ran sat down and enjoyed the good food while Mrs. Isuel sat with them drinking her tea.

"So, girls, did you two have fun last night?" She asked and looked at each one.

"Yeah…it was ok…nothing exciting. Right, Ams?" Ran answered and Amber nodded with a mouth full of toast.

"Well, the two of you got home very late and I noticed you did not get home together. I trust you…both of you…and I am sure neither of you did anything wrong, but I do not approve of the time you two got home. I will not lecture either of you. You are both two old and Hu-Ran will be eighteen next month and, Amber, you will be in four months so both of you are young ladies and both of you know right from wrong; I just hope you two are careful. There are so many temptations for young people out there and worse for young ladies. Also when you do certain things your judgment can get impaired and you end up doing things you regret later. Just be careful."

"Wow, mom, nice way not to lecture us there…we…neither of us…did anything bad. Now of course I saw Amber shooting heroin in the corner, but she assured me she had it under control and it was not a habit." Amber choked on her tea and Mrs. Isuel gave Ran a sharp look and said something harshly in Korean to which Ran responded back in the same language and rolled her eyes to Amber. Amber could not help but giggle. Mrs. Isuel stood up and walked to the sink and started rinsing dishes to put them in the dishwasher. Ran looked at Amber with a grin and nodded and the two went back upstairs to Ran's room. When they got to the foot of the stairs Ran turned and shouted.

"Hey, mom, thanks…for well…being you."

"I should ground both of you…but your father would ask too many questions and best he is kept in the dark about some things." Mrs. Isuel shouted back and Ran and Amber laughed and went to Ran's room. When they got there, Amber sat on the bed while Ran changed from her pajamas to a pair of jeans with bell bottoms, at which Amber rolled her eyes in disapproval, and a tee shirt with UCLA across the chest. When she was dressed she sat on the bed next to her friend and grabbed her hand. Amber took a deep breath, she knew something was up.

"Ams, I want to explain something to you…about last night and well…the way I reacted and please do not interrupt…ok." Amber nodded, "When I saw you talking to that girl and then went up stairs with her, I did not care…really I didn't…hell I thought it would be good for you. Maybe get laid and forget about Sam for a while. And before you ask…the difference between her and Freddie is that Freddie is a friend and someone you know and a good friend of Sam's and it would cause some huge issues…anyway, I did not really care. But then a few minutes later, Wesley came up to us and said his cousin followed the two of you and explained his cousin is well…an asshole who likes to get girls drunk and then have sex with them even if they don't want to. I got worried and so did Jason and we went upstairs and when we saw you and them…well…Ams, I thought they were raping you. That was why I freaked and then when I found out you were…well…willing I got…well…I got disgusted with you. I know you are hurting, baby, but that is not the way. Sam is not worth it…she never has been."

Amber looked at her friend and had tears in her eyes, "I…I am sorry I disgust you…I never…"

"Amber, you don't disgust me; just that one thing made me disgusted with you…so hush. Then what I asked you last night about your brother and getting help…I think you should but I had no right to tell you I would not be your friend if you did not and to ask your brother to quit his job was…well it was wrong."

Amber gripped Ran's hand tighter, "I will…I told you…I will, Ran."

Ran looked at her, "Why? Tell me why you will?"

"B…because you want me to."

Ran sighed, "See that is what I am talking about. I want you to do it for you…not me. You are almost eighteen and it is time to grow up. You need to get over Sam…who again is not worth this drama…and start…start…just grow up Amber. I can't be there for you all the time anymore. I want to live my life without having to baby-sit you all the time. I want to go out with Jason and not worry about where you are or what drama you got into. Yeah, I put myself in that position I know, but I am not doing it anymore. I like Jason…a lot…and next year we go to different colleges and I can't be there anymore. I love you and you are my best friend, but things are going to be different. I…I am not going to be there every time you break a nail or cannot find an outfit to wear…I just can't anymore."

Amber let go of Ran's hand and stood up. She was feeling hurt. "I thought you and Sam were friends and twice you told me she is not worth it…well she is! She is…I love her and she is worth it!"

Ran remained calm and sighed, "Amber…Sam and I have never been really friends. Yeah I liked her but the only reason I really talked to her was because of you. We never hung out before her and you dated. True I saw her at the skate park and around, but I never talked to her. She…well…she was Sam. Tough, mean, used to bully people…until she grew up some…and a little scary at times. She hung around the kids who caused trouble and well…she was like their ring leader at times. So no…we really were not friends."

Amber glared at Ran, "She…Sam is a good person. She is not mean or cruel or…or…she is a sweet person! I…fine…if that is what you want then I guess…fine…I don't need your stupid help today! I can move my stuff by myself and I never asked you to baby sit me. As a matter of fact I did not like it! I am leaving and maybe I'll see you around or call you later. Go and live your life and don't worry about me anymore. I can take care of myself!" Amber stormed from the room and slammed the door behind her.

"Amber! Ams…come back…I…we are still friends…best friends…Amber!" Ran yelled and jumped off the bed to run after the girl and opened the door. Standing in the hallway with tears on her eyes was Amber. The Goth girl looked up and tried to smile.

"My…my car is at my house. I need a ride." She said childlike.

Ran laughed and told her she would give her a ride. They left the house and Amber was still wearing just a tee shirt. On the ride over they did not talk much and both girls could feel the tension between them. When they pulled up to the high rise apartment building Amber lived at, she got out and turned to Ran as the Asian girl opened her door.

"No…I told you I didn't need your help…and you don't want to give it anyway. I can do this alone."

"Are you going to move your things to my house or here?" Ran asked.

"Here of course! I don't want to live where I am not wanted or get in the way of you living your life!" Amber shouted and went into the building.

Ran shrugged and told her friend she would call her later, but Amber did not even turn around. Ran sighed, _well…it went as expected…I should go talk to her…no…no…no! I can't…I need this. I love her but I need to keep my word and let it go. _Ran picked up her phone and called Jason and told him she was not going to help Amber but if he would please call Freddie and then call Amber and help her. She just had clothes and a few other things to move so it should not take long and not to tell Amber she asked him to help. Jason said he would and he would call her later. Ran told him her mom and dad were going out and would be home later and he told her he would make sure to call her later. Ran giggled and drove home feeling sad but knowing she did the right thing and to make sure she gives Jason a night to remember.

Amber walked into her home and sat on the couch. She wanted to cry but stopped herself_, I'll show her! I'll show her I don't need her anymore! I don't need anyone_! Amber pulled her phone from her purse and found Sam's name and sent her a text – **Sam, going to be over about 2 to get my things…is that ok? **Amber had to wait for about ten minutes for a reply – **OK. I won't be home so that is good. **Amber frowned at the brief text and sent a reply – **k…miss you. **About another five minutes passed and the reply – **umm…ok…just leave your key on the table. See u around. Bye**. Amber looked at the message and read it four times. "Fuck!" She yelled and threw the phone across the room and luckily it landed on the couch and did not break. She got up and went to her room and pulled her jeans from the draw and clean panties, bra, and a tee shirt. The tee shirt was black and in purple was written "Lords of Acid" one of the techno bands she liked. Amber got dressed and looked in the mirror and frowned. She hated wearing jeans or pants in general. If she would not have been so against wearing the jeans the girl would have seen they fit her form perfectly and looked very good on her and gave her small butt a nice shape. But Amber did not see that, all she saw was her wearing jeans. She sat on the bed and put her head in her hands and started to cry. She felt her world was falling apart. First the girl she loved with a passion broke up with her and then her best friend who she loved more than anyone in the world told her they would not be good friends anymore. Truthfully Ran did not tell her that, but in her confused mind that was what Amber heard.

She was crying for about ten minutes when she heard her cell ringing. Thinking it was either Sam or Ran; she jumped up and ran to answer it. Amber flipped it open without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello." She answered sounding excited and her heart fell to her stomach when she heard the male voice.

"Hey, Amber. I just called to see what time Fredo and I need to be over to help you get your things." Jason said.

"Oh…ummm…I can do it. I don't need any help."

Jason laughed, "Yeah you do…so what time. Freddie is looking forward to it." Jason teased.

"Ok…ok…pick me up around two. I'm going to take a nap. Bye."

Amber flipped the phone closed and took off her jeans and crawled into her bed and feel asleep quickly.

**Carly and Sam** -

Sam woke with someone shaking her, "Sam…Sam…get up sleepy head. Breakfast is ready." At first she thought it was Amber waking her up and she rolled over and pulled the blanket over her head.

"No…a few more minutes, baby…I'm sleepy." She groaned. She then felt someone crawl into bed with her and expected Amber to wrap her arms around her. She smiled; she loved that, when her girlfriend would crawl back into bed while she was half asleep and cuddle a few minutes before she got out of bed. Suddenly the blonde felt the bed shake hard and her eyes popped open and she saw Carly jumping up and down on the bed laughing.

"Get up! Get up, Sam!" The brunette girl yelled as she laughed.

"Carlyyyy! Stooop!" Sam yelled and threw her pillow at the girl. Carly laughed and jumped off the bed.

"Come on…it's after ten and I cooked and I am starving…up and atem…up…up…up!"

"Arggggh! I'm up, I'm up…gesh, I forgot how damn cheerful you are in the morning!"

Carly laughed, "Yeah…well I remembered how grumpy you were…up now before breakfast gets cold." She walked out of the room.

Sam got up and sat on the edge of the bed and smiled, _I'll get you for this one Carly_…she grinned wickedly and got up and walked downstairs. Carly was standing by the sink and reaching up into the kitchen cabinet for something and when she did her tee shirt rode up to reveal her skimpy pajama bottoms that had rode up her butt. Sam stared at her friend's almost totally exposed butt, _damn you are so sexy…you have the best ass I have ever seen_. Carly turned and saw her friend and grinned.

"Whatcha starin at?" She asked in a teasing voice and actually pulled her tee shirt up higher in a sexy way. Sam adverted her eyes and blushed and muttered nothing and sat down.

"Hey, Sam…its ok…I…I didn't mean anything by it. I was just teasing."

"Yeah…well maybe you shouldn't. I mean…after what you said last night and I agreed to give you time to figure things out…well…walking around showing your ass would not be a good thing for me…ok."

"Oh…yeah I'm sorry, Sam…I was just playing. I guess I over stepped the line. Won't happen again." Carly said and placed the sugar bowl she was getting out of the cabinet on the table. _Ok…she…she is attracted to me physically…that's a start…stop being a coward Carly and go over there and do something! Kiss her or at least tell her you feel the same way! But…what would Spencer say? How would my dad act? I would be teased at school like…like Amber. Hell Sam never gets teased since last year when she got into that fight…people are too scared of her…but they would me. Relax, Carly, take it slow…what a fucking coward you are, Shay!_ Carly thought as she got dishes out of the cabinet and set the table motioning for Sam to stay seated.

After they ate a large breakfast of waffles, eggs, bacon, and toast the girls made plans for the day. The girls giggled and laughed threw breakfast and made plans for the day. They decided to hang around the mall and then just do spur of the moment things. Both girls did not care what they did, as long as they did it together. Sam asked Carly if she wanted to invite Freddie and Carly told her no; she just wanted it to be them today. Sam smiled.

"Go take a shower, Carls, and I'll clean up the kitchen and then take one when you get out."

"Ok…you can use Spencer's if you want."

"Naw…I don't want to walk around in his pubic hairs." Sam said with a grin.

"Eww….you are still gross." Carly laughed

"Go take your shower, princess." Sam laughed and got up to clean the kitchen. She was happy to be here and to be friends with Carly. After last night things started to seem less tense between them.

The girls went to the mall and around noon Sam heard her phone announce she had a text. Sam read it and replied a while longer, she was having too much fun teasing Carly about the jeans she was trying on and watching the brunette fuss at the sales clerk over the misadvertisment on the price. Sam replied and immediately got the next one and rolled her eyes. God, Amber it's only been one day since I saw you…I told you I wanted space, she thought and replied after helping Carly with her argument. She got the jeans at the discounted price and the girls left the store mocking the lady. It was a good day so far for them.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N – I was very unhappy with the last chapter and need more interaction with Sam and Carly and develop their renewed friendship more as well as their feelings to one another. Also we get to see Amber at her worst playing the seductive Siren. **

Chapter 16 – The Move and the Seductions

Amber woke to the sound of the door buzzer going off repeatedly. She sat up in bed and looked at her clock and saw it read two twenty-three. She muttered a few words she always found repulsive and got up and pressed the button of the speaker.

"Sorry, Jason…I was taking a nap and over slept. I'll buzz you up." Amber said into the speaker.

"Uhhh…ok, but its Freddie. Jason said he would meet us there."

"Oh…ok…give me a second, I'm not dressed." Amber thought and then smiled evilly, "Well…come on up…you don't mind waiting while I change do you?"

"Umm…no…I'll wait." Freddie Benson replied and opened the downstairs door when he heard it buzz open.

Amber ran into the bathroom and brushed her hair and quickly put on some lipstick. "Yeah, I'm cute enough for now", she muttered and heard the doorbell. Amber opened the door and greeted Freddie wearing only her panties and the "Lords of Acid" shirt. The shirt came down to her waist line and Freddie could see she had on a pair of purple French cut panties (Amber liked either French cut or regular panties. She hated thongs). Freddie was dressed in a plain blue tee shirt and tan shorts. It was not too cold today and the sun was shining. Amber smiled and told him to sit down while she got dressed. Freddie stared at her cute small butt as she walked to her bedroom and could have sworn she swayed her ass more than normal. He adjusted his pants and hoped his erection would go away before she came back into the room.

"Where's Jason?" He heard that sweet musical voice call from the bedroom after he had been waiting for ten or fifteen minutes or so.

"Umm…he said he had something to do first and would meet us there. He…umm…called already and said he was on the way. I told him we may be late since…well…since you were not ready yet."

Amber laughed, "Its ok…you could have told him I was being lazy and was sleeping. He knows me well enough."

"Oh…ok…I…"

"Relax, Freddie, you act like you never been alone with a girl in her apartment before." Amber chuckled as she walked in the room. Freddie looked at her as he stood up and swallowed hard. He had never seen Amber in jeans or even slacks before and thought she looked good…damn good! Her hair was pulled up in two pony tails on the side of her head and the two red streaks came down on each side of her cheeks. She still had the same tee shirt on that she tucked into her jeans and the jeans were low cut and shaped her butt very well. Of course she fixed her makeup and around her eyes she put on her typical black mascara and she wore emerald colored eye shadow that made her green eyes jump out at him. Freddie saw she wore a pair of sandals and could not help but notice her perfectly pedicure toes with the crimson polish matching her finger nails. She wore a very charming smile on her lips that made Freddie heart skip a beat and when he looked onto her green eyes he felt hypnotized. _God, I thought Tiffany was sexy…but Jesus she cannot compare to Amber…she looks…well…better than even Carly…and I thought no one could look better than Carly_, Freddie thought and cleared his throat and saw Amber frown.

"Yeah…I know I hate jeans and look terrible in them…but it is all I had to wear…sorry." The girl pouted and swayed her body back and forth childlike but also with a hint of seduction.

"No…ummm…damn, Amber, you look…well…youlookgreat," He said the last part quickly and blushed.

"Aww…your sweet, but I hate them. Well, you ready?" Freddie nodded and followed Amber to the door. Amber let Freddie walk past her to set the alarm and lock the door and when he did he smelt that seductive hint of her perfume. He turned to her when she touched his arm. "By the way, Freddie, you look great too…I never knew you had such great legs." She whispered in his ear since they were standing close and leaned into him and Freddie took a deep breath when Amber's lips _innocently_ brushed his ear lobe. Freddie blushed and silently prayed for this day to end quickly. He did not know if he could take it or control himself much longer. _Thank God Jason's going to be there_ and _God please give me strength,_ he thought as the two walked to Freddie's car.

The drive to Sam's took about twenty minutes and Freddie never thought Amber talked so much…not that it bothered him; he liked it. She chatted on and on about nonsense things like school, her brother, etc. When he normally saw her it was with Sam around and she would just sit close to her girlfriend and smile so charming and sweetly and whisper in her ear and say occasional things, but now she chatted on and on. He liked it a lot…the sound of her musical voice. He also found out she had a habit of playing with the radio. She looked through his CD's and choose some she liked and would listen to half a song and then change it.

"Lets me guess, you've never listened to an entire sound before have you?" He teased and chuckled when Amber sunk down in her seat and pouted. He thought she looked adorable. They got to Sam's and Jason was waiting for them already and made some comment about her being late and Amber grabbed Freddie's arm and looked at Jason.

"Hush…I was enjoying the company to much." She said without looking at Jason, she was embarrassed to look her friend in the eyes after last night, and walked Freddie to the door. The boy looked at Jason with a confused look and Jason just shook his head.

They moved her clothes and the few other items she had in the house and Amber just smiled and blushed when Jason commented on the number of outfits and shoes she had. It did not take long and when they were done, Amber placed her key on the kitchen table with a sad smile and debated if she should leave a note or not. She decided not too and walked from the house feeling sad but determined not to cry in front of Jason and Freddie.

"So…are we taking your stuff to Ran's?" Jason said hopefully at the chance to see the Asian girl.

"No…I'm…I'm not staying there…I'm going home." Amber replied sadly. Jason sighed and knew the two girls must have had a fight. After the previous night, Jason had a good idea what was said.

"Jason…I'll ride with Freddie…you don't mind do you, Freddie?" Freddie shook his head. Jason nodded and hoped the girl was not trying to do what he thought she was trying. Jason basically grew up with Amber and their brothers had been very close and he knew the girl to well. He was very fond of her…real fond of her like a sister…and of course he knew she was not a slut like all the rumors at school and he knew she was needy at times, more so since her parents died, and he knew she was normally a very submissive girl when it came to her relationships. Almost always deferring to the person she was dating. But Jason also knew she could be a heavy flirt, most of the time without knowing it, but when she knowingly flirted and went after something regardless of what it was, Jason knew even the devil himself could not resist her. He did not know her intentions with Freddie right now, if she was just flirting to feel wanted and needed, but after what she did last night, Jason hoped she was not looking for anything else. He would stay out of it since she was old enough to do what she wanted, but he hoped she knew the outcome of her actions if she was flirting with the other boy to seduce him. It would cause some major issues with Sam and Carly and Freddie as well as Amber. Jason sighed as he got into his car and thought he should call Ran. Of all people, she could control Amber. He picked up his cell and dialed her number.

"Hey…how is my sexy quarterback doing?" Ran answered. "Get the girl all moved that quick?"

"Umm…yeah…taking her stuff to her place now…Ran…she is…well how do I tell you…?"

"Is she ok…is she hurt! Damn it, Jason, tell me right now…what happened?" Sudden panic in Ran's voice.

"Oh…no…I mean she is sad about the Sam thing of course…but she is really messing with Freddie…has the poor boy all worked up." Jason chuckled.

"So? What's it to me?" Ran asked after a big sigh of relief when she knew Amber was not hurt.

"I…well…I thought you may…you know after last night…you…"

"She can do what she wants; she's not my problem anymore. Unless it is serious I would prefer if we did not waste our time talking about her. If she wants to get laid then let her. She's a grown girl and needs to start acting like it. Speaking of getting laid…you coming over tonight? Mom and dad are leaving around five and won't be home until late. You know…we never had sex in my house before…maybe we could try out every room…including the hot tub." Ran said in a seductive voice and all of Jason's worries about Amber left his head.

"Umm…sounds great…maybe you could wear that little outfit for me…you know with the garters."

"You naughty boy…and would love to. Make sure you buy a new box of condoms…a big box…I think we are going need them."

Jason chuckled and said ok and Ran told him she had to shower and shave…everywhere, and hung up. Jason put the phone down with a huge grin and decided not to worry about Amber anymore. His mind was on the vision of Ran's naked wonderful body.

Amber was playing with the radio again and grinned at Freddie when he chuckled because she kept changing the songs. Freddie looked at her and sighed.

"Am…ummm…Amber; would you…would you like to go to homecoming with me?" Freddie blurted out. Amber looked at him in surprise.

"Well…I don't know. I mean…what about Sam and Carly? How would they take it…I mean…you are one of their best friends and Sam may get jealous if you dated her ex," Freddie could not help but notice the sound of hope in her voice at that, "and…well Carly would chastise you to no end since she hates me. I…I don't know, Freddie. I would…well I would like to go. I wanted to go."

"Well…I know I would hear it from Carly about why I should not go with you, but she does not choose who I date and as far as Sam…I think she would not mind…I mean…it would be just as friends…she would not care."

Amber felt her heart drop when Freddie said Sam would not care. She wanted Sam to care! She wanted Sam to get jealous! She quickly recovered and smiled at Freddie seductively. "Just friends huh? Is that how you want to take me…just friends? You know Freddie…you can _take_ me anyway you want."

The pun was not lost on Freddie and he blushed. Freddie never knew Amber could be such a flirt. She never really hung out with her unless Sam was around and she always seemed so…well reserved and…well…non flirty. Oh she was always sexy without even meaning to be, but never this…forward. "Well…ummm…maybe…well…maybe we should go as friends…you know…just to…ummm…" He stammered and shut up when he heard Amber giggle.

"Tell you what, we'll talk about it later…maybe we could have dinner tonight…order a pizza or something and talk why I put my stuff away. That is if you don't have any other plans. Plus…well…this will be the first time I have been alone at night for a while and I would love to have someone hang out with me to keep me company."

"Yeah…ok…I mean yes I could hang out. I don't have anything to do." Freddie said with a smile. He would like to get to know Amber better.

After they brought Amber's things to her place she told the boys just to place them anywhere and she would sort them out later. Amber looked at her watch and saw it was a little before five and told Jason her and Freddie's plans and asked if he wanted to hang and eat pizza with them. Jason mentioned she had plans and Amber knew he was going to see her _ex_ best friend. Jason left and Amber ordered a pizza after asking what kind Freddie liked. She gave Freddie a tour of the large apartment and he commented how nice it was and found himself very uncomfortable when she showed him her room. Amber told Freddie to sit and relax as she started putting her clothes in the closet and her underwear in the drawers of her room. She placed a picture of her and Sam on her nightstand next to a picture of her and her parents. She smiled sadly at both when the buzzer went off announcing the arrival of the pizza and drinks. She told Freddie she would pay since she owed him for the help and he agreed after a short protest. After paying and tipping the delivery boy, who leered at her and grinned knowingly when he saw Freddie, Amber placed the pizza on the table and got some plates and napkins.

"Sorry I don't have much around here…I need to go to the store tomorrow." Amber apologized.

"Its cool…this is enough." Freddie replied and the two sat and ate. During the dinner Freddie noticed Amber did not eat much. They talked during dinner and after they were done Amber cleared the table and asked if he wanted to watch a movie. He said sure and she picked out a horror movie and Amber sat on the coach and Freddie sat in the large recliner. Half way through the movie Amber asked if she could sit with him since it was a scary movie about a baby sitter alone in a home with a crazed psychopath stalking her. He swallowed hard and nodded. Amber squeezed herself in the chair and put her arms around Freddie.

"I like these movies, but they scare me." She said and snuggled close to him for protection

"Its…its ok…I…like them too." He stammered and caught the faint scent of her perfume and the smell of her hair.

After a few more minutes, Freddie was surprised when Amber used the remote to stop the movie and said she had to pee. He nodded and she got up. A few minutes latter she came back in the room wearing the same tee shirt but her jeans were replaced by a pair of tight skimpy black pajama bottoms. Amber grinned.

"I hate jeans and I was so uncomfortable…don't mind do you?" She asked and he nodded no. Freddie picked up the remote to start the movie when Amber grabbed it from his hand and tossed it on the couch. She straddled him and smiled seductively and started kissing him. Freddie responded and soon his tongue was inside her mouth and hers was dancing around his. Freddie thought she was the best kisser he ever kissed and did magical things with her tongue. Amber kissed him passionately and pushed her pelvic area closer to his. Freddie reached down and grabbed her butt and pulled her closer. He liked how small her butt was and was pleased to find it very firm. Amber moaned and kissed him harder and then shocked the boy as her hand reached down and started to massage his erection through his jeans. Freddie groaned in pleasure and Amber started kissing his neck.

"Ohh…Amber…damn that's feels good…Amber…we really shouldn't do this…shiiiitt…that's good." He stammered as she kissed his neck and rubbed his hard penis.

"Why…I…want…to…I…want….you." Amber said in between kisses on the boy's neck and she took his hand and placed it under her shirt and he started fondling her erect nipple and got a moan of pleasure from her as she threw her head back. He was happily surprised at the size of her breasts. It was small but not as small as he thought it would be and very firm.

"Ohhh…God…Freddie…that feels good…suck them…please…I…need you to suck them." Amber moaned and caressed his erection harder. Freddie lifted the girl's shirt and stared at her breasts and loved how they were slightly upturned and tipped by beautiful pink nipples. He took one in his mouth and heard Amber let out another moan and pressed her self harder to him. Freddie felt her small hands unbuckling his shorts and suddenly he pushed her hands away and his mouth left her nipple.

"Am…Amber…we…I…we can't do this! I…I'm sorry, but I can't. We can't!"

He saw Amber poke out her bottom lip and pout, "Don't you think I'm cute? I thought you liked me?"

"Oh, God, Amber…you are so fucking sexy and beautiful…but it's wrong. I mean…God I want you in the worse way…but it's wrong. I…we just can't."

Amber smiled and leaned into Freddie and placed her hand on his erection again and started kissing his neck once more. "Yes…we…can." She said between kisses on his neck again and then leaned back and looked him in the eyes, "I'll put it in my mouth if you want me to…I'll let you do anything to me…anything, Freddie." She whispered in a sexy small voice and then grabbed his hand and placed it under her skimpy pajama bottoms and Freddie discovered she was not wearing underwear and Amber started kissing his lips again. He fought to keep his hand away from her pussy.

"Oh...shit!" Freddie groaned and somehow found the strength to push her way. He pushed her a little too hard and she fell on the floor on her butt. Freddie stood up and his erection was very prominently showing through his shorts.

"I'm sorry, Amber…really…sorry…but…but…I should leave." Freddie left the apartment quickly.

Amber got off the floor, "FUUUCK! HOW HARD IS IT FOR A CUTE GIRL TO LAID IN THIS CITY?" She screamed and turned off the DVD player and the movie. "AND I FUCKING HATE HORROR MOVIES!" She screamed at the television and stomped off to her room. She lay down on the bed and her hand found itself under her pajama bottoms and touching her clit. Amber masturbated to thoughts of her and Freddie, her and the blonde surfer girl Bridgette and her boyfriend, and thoughts of Sam. She even had thoughts of her and Ran. She came with force as she pinched her nipples hard to make them hurt and then rolled over in the bed, pulled the blanket and sheets to her shoulders, and started to cry. "What is wrong with me?" She cried and asked herself and finally drifted off to a restless sleep.

**Sam and Carly** –

Sam had a wonderful time spending the day with Carly. She forgot how much fun the two had together. They talked and laughed and did silly things she had not done in a long time. The teased one another; Carly would tease Sam when the blonde would look at hot girls and Sam would tease Carly about being a virgin and tease her about not knowing who she liked, boys or girls. Neither girl took it personal and both realized they were going to be very close best friends again. It was a little after seven when Carly dropped Sam off at her place and the two made plans to hang out again tomorrow. Sam was walking to the door of her building when she heard Carly call out.

"Hey, Sam…I had a wonderful time! And thanks…thanks for being my best friend."

Sam turned and smiled, "Same to you, Shay, now drive before you cause an accident." Carly laughed and drove away. Sam stood there staring at Carly's car until it turned a corner and she could not see it anymore. She smiled happily as she walked to her apartment. Sam opened the door and noticed something was different. The apartment was missing something. Nothing big, just something was missing. She glanced around and saw the key on the kitchen table.

"Oh yeah…Amber moved her stuff." She said and walked to her bedroom. Sam looked around and it was so different. The few kick knacks and pictures Amber had were gone and her closet door was open. Sam looked at the empty closet and felt sad. She knew she made the right choice, but it made her a little sad to find the place so…so empty. She felt lonely. Sam walked back to the kitchen and grabbed her cell and dialed the number.

"Gosh, Puckett, I just left you…miss me that much?" Carly said cheerfully.

"Yeah…Carly could you spend the night…I…would like that."

"Sure, Sam…hey you ok?"

"Yeah…just…well…Amber moved her stuff and guess I'm…yeah I fine it was stupid of me. See you tomorrow."

"Hey…I'm hungry; we had so much fun today we forgot to eat lunch. How 'bout I go home, get some clothes, pick up some Chinese food and spend the night. Be there in about an hour and half?"

"I could eat…I can always eat…and thanks, Carls."

"Not a problem…see you soon." Carly giggled and hung up.

Sam sighed and looked around and smiled wickedly. She got up and pulled some white candles and crystal candle holders from the cabinet and set the table with dishes, the candles, and cloth napkins. She even put some fake flowers on the table. She stood back and smiled. Sam checked the clock and figured she had time. She took a shower, dried her long curly blonde hair, brushed it, and styled it where some was pinned up and some hung loose. Next she went to the closet and pulled out the blue sundress out and put on some sexy panties and the dress. She looked at herself and smiled. "Damn I look pretty decent." The door bell rang two minutes later. Sam took a deep breath and walked to the door and opened it.

Carly stood there with her hands full of food and her mouth open. "Wow…for a minute I thought I had the wrong apartment. The door man let me up…he remembered me…Wow…you look…damn Sam, you look hot! Did you call someone else? I mean…should I leave?" Carly said and did not take her eyes off her beautiful friend.

Sam laughed, "Get in her silly. Here let me get that." Sam said and took the bags from Carly. The brunette still did not move and stared at her friend. Sam looked over her shoulder and grinned, "God…come in, Carls."

Carly smiled shyly and walked into the apartment, "Hey, Sam, it looks the same…well…cleaner, but still the same."

"Yeah…well Amber was…is kind of a neat freak…she kept it clean." The blonde said as she placed the food on the table.

Carly noticed the table for the first time and eyed the candles and flowers, "Hey…what is the occasion. Candles, flowers, you all dressed up…looking great by the way…anything I should know about?"

"No…just wanted to do something special that's all. Sit and I'll get the drinks." Carly sat down and glanced at Sam. _Oh God…what is going on…what is she up to? She…she wouldn't do this would she? And if she did what would I do…please, Sam, I'm not ready yet…please don't ruin what we just got back_, _but damn she looks hot and this is…this is so romantic!_ She thought and shifted nervously in her chair.

Sam came back with two glasses of soft drinks and sat down. They ate and Carly avoided the way Sam was dressed and the way the table was set and made small talk. She did notice the dress was low cut and Sam was not wearing a bra. Carly kept glancing at the cleavage all through dinner and loved the little peaks she got at her friends nice breasts. After dinner they moved to the living room and sat down to watch television.

"Umm…Sam…want to change into something more…well comfortable." Carly asked and then blushed, "I…mean…well…you know…oh shit! Sam, what are you doing…I…I am freaking out."

Sam looked at her friend sitting next to her on the couch. "Why? I don't know why you would be freaking out…I thought we had a nice dinner and now we are going to watch television. That's all." She smiled and Carly knew it was Sam's dazzling smile she gave when she wanted something.

"Sam…go change…I mean…damn, please…you look so hot and…please go change."

Sam chuckled, "Ok, Carls…relax…I'll change for you." Sam got up and heard Carly shout behind her, "And mess up your damn hair…it looks too good that way." Sam laughed and walked into her room. "Why don't you change into your jamies as well?" Sam shouted from the bedroom.

Carly changed into her lavender silk pajamas, which were thin and the bottoms low cut but long, and waited for Sam.

Carly waited five minutes and Sam came back in the room with her hair messed up and in a change of clothes. It was the change of clothes that made Carly stare at her friend. Sam was wearing a tight blue tee shirt with some skate board company logo on it and it was obvious she was not wearing a bra. Her bottoms were matching very short blue cotton and showed her well tanned legs. She sat down and looked at Carly.

"Better?"

"Umm…no…but…damn it…lets just watch the move." It was the latest thriller released on DVD and all during the movie at the exciting parts like car chases, gunfights, and hand to hand fights; Sam would place her hand on Carly's leg. Each time her hand got higher and higher up the brunettes thigh. The last time Sam's hand was placed on Carly's inner thigh close to her private area. Carly felt excitement, fear, and some anger and turned her head to Sam's. She did not notice during the movie, but Sam moved very close to her. Sam turned her head and leaned in as her hand caressed Carly's thigh. Carly whimpered and moved her own head toward her friend and tilted it slightly and closed her eyes. As soon as she felt Sam's warm breath on her face she pushed the blonde away and jumped off the couch breathing heavily.

"Sam…what…oh God…I told you…what were you doing?" She asked in anger and placed her hands on her hips.

Sam just looked at her and smiled, "Well I was going to kiss you and you were going to kiss me back until you jumped up and stopped."

"Well of course I did…stop you I mean not going to kiss…oh damn it, Sam…we talked about this! I…I am just not ready yet! I told you I was confused and did not know…damn you! Why did you ruin it?"

Sam chuckled, "Well I thought maybe a little push was what you needed."

"How can you laugh at it…I am so pissed at you. You should be…well…Sam Puckett, you should be ashamed of yourself! Maybe I should just go home!"

Sam stopped chuckling and looked at her friend, "No…please don't go, Carls. I am ashamed of what I did…the dinner, the clothes, all of it. But…I don't now what I was thinking…hell I wasn't thinking. I like you Carly, you know that. I like you as a friend and as something more. I…hell…I guess I was lonely and…"

"So you thought I could be a peace of ass for you to help you get over a girl who is not worth it and who the hell is sure not worth you! You deserve so much better than that bitch! I am not here to help you get laid to get over her. I am here as your best friend!"

"Carls, I'm sorry…really I am. I don't want to fuck up our friendship. I did not mean to say I just wanted you because I was lonely. I'm sorry Carly…really I am…" Sam started to cry and Carly sat next to her and put her arm around her, "and I hate fucking crying!" Sam yelled and Carly chuckled. "Carls, I swear it was not like that. I do like and care about you…and if I can only be your friend then that is still a wonderful gift from you. I'm sorry."

Carly hugged the blonde tighter, "It's ok Sam…I…just promise you will give me time to figure things out. I need that. It scares me and I am your friend, your best friend…never forget that…ok."

Sam nodded, "I will and I promise I won't forget."

"You miss her huh? Amber I mean; you really miss her. See that is another reason, Sam, I am not going to be a rebound."

Sam smiled, "Oh, Carls, you would never be a rebound…never! And I kind of miss her in someways. You remember that cat my mom had what…three years ago?"

Carly chuckled, "Yeah you hated that thing. You were so mean to it."

Sam laughed, "Yeah I was…anyway, it ran away, remember. Well I missed it. I mean I did hate it and I was so glad it was gone, but I missed it anyway."

Carly giggled, "Well I am glad to hear it ran away, I thought you killed it."

Sam laughed, "No! Well that is the way I feel about Amber…not that I ever hated Amber and I won't hate her…but I miss her…well…something. I mean I don't miss her really…just her not being here and I am glad she is gone…hell I don't know what I am saying."

"I do. I know how you feel. It's a change, Sam. You'll get over it and you have me for anything you need…no not that! Gesh…but I am here for you. You…you really loved her huh?"

Sam shrugged, "I guess…in a way I mean. I cared about her…still do as far as I don't won't to see her get hurt and I feel bad for hurting her too…but I don't know if I ever had that out of control passionate love for her that she felt for me."

Carly smiled, "Well, Sam, I think you are so much better than her. She is trash and you deserve better than trash. And she did not love you…she was obsessed with you and obsession is not love. It is scary. You did the right thing in kicking her out."

Sam shrugged, "Carls…maybe she was obsessed with me to an extent…but that was Amber…I mean…she is difficult to figure out…hell it took me months to figure her out and in a lot of ways I never did. Ran is the only one that fully understands her…like how you fully understand me. Well I don't want to spend all night talking about her and all…we are done anyway, but I will say this…she is a good person and kind. She is the kindest person I ever met and I hate to say it…that includes you. And she is not trash…please don't call her that. She…well…she is a good person and you tell me I deserve better than her…well she deserves better than me. I hurt her Carly…more than emotional I mean. I…I told you…I hit her that time and there were other times when I would…well…I would do things like twist her arm when I got mad or push her against a wall. I…she deserves better than that and I knew if I did not end it; one because I did not love her anymore or realized I never was in love with her and two because I did not want things to get worse with me hurting her. I…I did not want to be like my dad. And she would have stayed. She told me that, you know, when I broke up with her she told me she would take being slapped every night if…if I loved her." Sam was crying again and Carly lay the blonde in her lap. "I don't want to be like my dad; Carly…I'm scared I am going to be like him."

"That is what I meant, Sam, about her being obsessed. Look at you mom, God knows I like her and think she is great…I always did…she made me laugh. Anyway, with her and your dad…she stayed with him and while I do not condone what he did or what you did to Amber, she accepted it because she was obsessed with him like Amber was obsessed with you. I mean hell if a guy…or girl…I was dating every hit me I would leave so fast and make sure they never hit me again. Regardless of my feeling for them…and you are not like your dad and stop saying that! You are a sweet person, Sam. You would not be my friend if I thought you could be like that. And I won't call her trash again, but she is still a freak and a bitch."

Sam chuckled and sat up, "Ok, enough sappy things…lets finish the movie. I was really into it until you tried to seduce me…and lets watch another one and eat ice cream all night."

"I tried to seduce you…Ohhhh, Sam!" Carly laughed and hit Sam with a pillow and they settled back on the couch to watch the movie.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – Sad Weeks at School and Plan Gone Wrong

For the next week at school Amber avoided three people as best she could, Freddie, Ran, and Sam. Freddie and Sam were easy. She did not have any classes with them and she ate in the cafeteria for lunch. Ran was harder since she has gym class with her former friend. Each day for the next three days, Ran would sit next to her on the bleaches before class started and try and talk to Amber. The Asian girl did not apologize or even attempt to, she would just ask how her friend was doing and ask why she had not called and would sincerely try and talk to her. Amber just gave her the cold shoulder and soon Ran stopped talking to her friend and stopped picking her to be on her team when she was chosen as a captain (the class was now playing basketball). Ran figured Amber would talk when she was ready, but the Asian was still sad.

Amber heard through the high school gossip line that Sam and Carly ate lunch together everyday and Amber hated to hear that. Another thing that happened was word about her actions at Wesley's party got out. The exact details were unknown but it was heard she went to a bedroom with a girl and a guy and later she was found on the side of the street throwing up and needing a ride home. Rumors flew from her being raped to her being the willing participant in a gang bang by almost every boy at the party. Those rumors worried Ran a lot and she wished Amber would talk to her. Amber soon got an even worse reputation as being the school whore and got nasty notes shoved into her locker from boys asking to meet her behind the school for a quickie or to be gang banged by them and their friends. Amber never showed it at school, but when she got home she would curl up in bed and cry. She would cry over Sam, over Ran, and over the rumors about her. She ate very little and slept a lot. The only comfort she got was when she was alone in the dark room developing pictures for the year book or printing them from the digital cameras. She also found comfort from Mrs. Pendleton and her mentoring. She liked the beautiful teacher and they seemed to develop a bond with one another. Amber was so full of self pity she failed to see when other people treated her kindly. She had made a lot of friends within her social click and they would offer to eat lunch with her, talk with her, invited her with them for after school social functions, or just hang out with her. But Amber did not recognize their kindly gestures and after a while they left her alone assuming she just wanted to be alone for a while after her breakup with Sam.

On the fourth day back that week she ran into Freddie literally. She turned a corner and bumped into him and started to apologize before she saw who it was.

"Amber…hey it's ok." Amber looked up and groaned when she heard his voice. She started to turn and leave when she noticed his eye. It was bruised.

"What happened? To your eye?" She asked.

"Oh…nothing…rough housing…you know guys." She could tell he was lying.

"Freddie…tell me! It looks…well like it hurts."

"Yeah a little…or did…I…I got into a fight yesterday. Some jerk. Nothing serious." He replied and smiled and Amber stomped her foot. She wanted more of an explanation. "Ok…some guy…a junior…was talking about you in the locker room and heard I helped you move and asked if…well…he asked if I was lucky enough to get into your pants."

"So you fought him? Freddie…that was…I'm not worth it…you shouldn't have."

Freddie smiled, "First of all, yes you are and second I ignored it until he said he sure wish her could get into your pants and said something I did not appreciate about you…so we got into a fight."

Amber smiled, "Well…thank you for defending my honor…but no I am not worth it. You need to be more careful. I…just don't Freddie, please…I'm…I'm no good."

"The hell you aren't…sorry…you are a good person and I felt like you are worth it. It was my choice." He said with a smile.

Amber smiled a little and thanked him again and mentioned she should get to class. As she turned and took two steps she heard him call her name. Amber turned and Freddie took two steps to stand in front of the girl.

"You know, you never did give me an answer." The boy asked.

Amber looked at him confused, "Answer? To what?"

"About going with me to homecoming…remember I asked you and you said you would think about it."

Amber looked at her feet, "You still want to go with me…after…well what I did?"

"Yes…as friends. I do like you, but you need a friend right now…and it would be fun. You have a good sense of humor, your sweet, your one of the prettiest girls in the school…I would have fun and I think you would too. So will you?"

Amber did not look up at him, "Well…you forgot to mention I am the school whore and a freak…are you sure you want to be seen with me? It could hurt your reputation."

Freddie laughed, "You are not a whore or a freak and as far as my reputation goes…Amber I had no reputation before I started playing baseball and suddenly, because I am good, I have all these friends that never would have talked to me in the past and hanging out with people I really never liked anyway…so I think I'll survive. So again, will you go to homecoming with me?"

"I…I don't know. Aren't you worried I may act like a slut again and try to…well…I may do something stupid."

Freddie laughed, "No…you were upset about Sam and moving from her place that day. I knew that…that was why I left. It wasn't because I did not…well…I did not want you. God, you are so pretty and sexy…and ummm…you are the best kisser I have every kissed." He grinned and Amber chuckled.

She looked up at him and smiled, "Sure…I'll go with you…as friends." Freddie smiled and Amber gave him her cell phone number and home phone number and walked to class with a slight smile on her face.

The rest of the week went about the same as the previous days for Amber, she ate alone, she listened to the rumors, and ignored Ran and her phone calls (she called at least twenty times a day), and she went home and cried. The only change was that Amber would talk to Freddie on occasion. He wanted to eat lunch with her almost everyday, but Amber would not let him. He did eat with her on occasion but the girl seemed she wanted to sulk in her self pity. She was planning on going shopping for a dress to wear to the dance and that gave her a little excitement, until she realized she would have to go alone.

On that Friday Sam and Carly were eating lunch at the Dingo, Carly brought Sam a steak that Spencer grilled the previous night. They were enjoying the outside knowing it would be too cold soon to eat outdoors. It was a little chilly and Carly had on a sweater and Sam a light jacket. The blonde saw Carly go tense. Sam looked at her friend and then in the direction where Carly was staring. Walking toward them were Tiffany, Maria, and Keisha. The three girls were not wearing their cheerleading uniforms since there was not football game that night. Sam grinned and turned to Carly.

"Do they always walk like that?" The three girls were walking in side by side with Tiffany in the middle, on her right was Maria, and on her left was Keshia.

Carly grinned, "Yeah…they do huh?" She said and the three girls stopped at the table.

"Well aren't you slumming now, Carly." Tiffany said with a cruel smile. Carly just glared and Sam started eating her steak again. She ignored the girls. Sam was not afraid of them of course and she just thought they were a waste of her time anyway.

After a few seconds when Tiffany knew Carly was not going to rise to her insult she turned to Sam, "I heard you and Amber broke up…that is sooo sad." She said in mock sympathy, "I guess Shay is your new girlfriend now. Carly, Carly, Carly, you can do so much better and to turn dyke…so unlike you. I thought you had class." She smiled and Sam still ignored her. "Poor little Amber…tsk tsk…she no longer has Sam Puckett to protect her. You know we have an old score to settle with her…I guess you would not care if we," The girl made a sweeping gesture with her hand at her two friends, "decided to _talk_ to her. You know, to see if we can _reconcile_ all the differences between us. Since the two of you are not dating anymore."

"Yeah…she and I have a lot to umm…_talk_ about." Maria added with a grin.

Sam stood up and placed the steak knife in the palm of her hand with the blade against her wrist to hide it. The three girls did not see it but Carly did and she let out a little gasp. Sam stared at Maria and her eyes turned a cold blue. Maria took a step back involuntarily. The Cuban girl was tough as well as beautiful, but she feared Sam Puckett…she knew her reputation was well earned. Maria was dating the boy whose jaw she broke last year with her skateboard at the time of the fight.

Sam smiled harshly, "If I hear that any one of you _talk_ to Amber you will have to deal with me. And trust me; you do not want to deal with me. I suggest you leave her alone." Sam noticed that Ran and Jason were now at the table but she ignored them. "If you hurt that girl I will fucking end each one of you…is that clear?" She stared each one down and Tiffany glared at Ran and then Jason. She decided to turn her attention elsewhere since Sam scared the hell out of her.

"I see you are still dating the Asian whore, Jason. I thought you would get over your fetish quicker than that." She sneered. Jason was about to say something when Ran grabbed his arm and whispered to him, "She's not worth it, babe, let it go."

Carly also grabbed Sam's arm, "Sam…put the knife down…please." She then turned to Tiffany, who looked shocked and stared at the knife Sam threw on the table. "I suggest you leave…all three of you…before things get out of hand."

They three girls turned as one and walked away and after they went a few feet Tiffany turned around, "We still are going to chat with Amber…she deserves our…_chat_." She sneered and they walked away.

Sam stood there breathing hard and Carly saw that look in her eyes, the look that normally ended in Sam hurting someone. She gently pulled Sam down to her seat, "Sam…please…they are not worth it. They…they are not going to do anything. She is all talk…please…calm down ok…she had been talking trash like that for years and nothing happened. The just want to get under your skin, baby…please, Sam, calm down." Carly whispered in her friend's ear and caressed her back. Sam took several deep breaths and the look in her eyes disappeared and she smiled at Carly.

"I'm fine…but they better not hurt her." She said and looked at Ran without saying anything. Sam and Ran had not spoken since she broke up with Amber and Sam did not expect them too. She never had a problem with the other girl but they really were not friends and only got to know one another through Amber. Ran surprised her when she sat down at the table.

"Sam…I need to ask you…have you talked to Amber lately?" The Asian asked.

Sam sighed; she did not want to deal with this right now.

"I don't think she needs to talk to her. They broke up and it is none of your business, Ran." Carly said sharply and Ran glared at her.

"Carly…I asked her not you…and you are right about it not being my business and that is between them not me…or you for that matter…but I am asking not because of that." Ran looked at Sam again, "Sam…have you…I…we…she and I had a fight and she is not talking to me and…well…I am worried about her. With the rumors and the way she just walks around school like she is in a trance and now those bitches…I just want to know."

Sam shrugged, "No…I haven't tried to be honest. I heard those rumors too…what did happen that night Ran…I mean…did she…" Sam asked and Carly could not help pick up on a small tone of worry and jealousy.

Ran glanced at Jason and then back at Sam, "Not what they say…nothing happened really. She umm…well she decided to try and drink for the first time in her life, I got mad at her, she got sick and got a ride home with Wesley's sister…no big deal."

"Yeah well what about her in the room upstairs…something must have happened for people to start spreading rumors…I mean there has to be some truth behind what they say about that slut." Carly snapped at Ran.

"Well there's not, Shay, so why don't you just mind you own fucking business and quit listening to stupid rumors. She has been dealing with this shit for a long time…and _you_ were the cause of some of them in the past…so just mind you own fucking business. And never…never call her a slut when I'm around!" Ran glared at Carly and then looked at Sam, who did not rise to defend her friend. Sam felt Ran was right and Carly was wrong.

Ran got up and walked away with Jason following her. Carly glared at Sam, "Well thanks a lot for jumping in there, Sam."

Sam shrugged, "She was right, Carls…it is none of your or my business what she does. And I don't believe what they say about Amber…you know that."

Carly crossed her arms and pouted, "See if I bring you another steak again!" Sam laughed and after few seconds Carly did too. After they stopped laughing Carly looked at her blonde friend, "Sam, would you have used that knife…I mean really used it."

Sam shrugged, "Well there were three of them…so yeah I guess."

Carly gave her friend a worried look and they got up to go back to school.

Amber did find a dress to wear to the dance, but shopping was not as fun for her when she was alone. She actually brought the first dress she tried on in the first and only store she went to. She knew she would have ended up with that one anyway, but she used to love to go shopping and try on almost every dress in every store, but that was when she had friends to go with. So she choose a beautiful emerald green one to match her eyes. It looked pretty and was sleeveless with a very low cut back…almost down to her butt…and small spaghetti straps. She thought she looked cute in it and of course had to buy a new strapless bra and matching panties and well…shoes of course had to be purchased. She hated shopping without Ran; she missed the Asian girl complaining about how many stores they had to go to and asking when they were going to eat. She missed her friend a great deal. Ran made more attempts to talk to Amber, but the Goth girl was stubborn and after a while her calls became less and less. Amber hung out with Freddie on occasion and got over her embarrassment being around him; he never brought up the night when Amber threw herself naked at the boy. She liked Freddie as a friend, but it was not the same. She just could not get close to him and while she enjoyed his company it was just not the same as it was with Ran. But Freddie spent more of his time hanging out with his friends Sam and Carly. He had yet to tell Sam he was taking Amber to homecoming.

Amber also missed Sam a great deal. She was still heartbroken and thought of the blonde all the time. She was very hurt Sam never once called her just to say hi or see how she was doing and knew when her ex mentioned a break it was a break up like she said. The week after Freddie invited her to homecoming, Amber had a terrible idea to make Sam jealous. It worked but not the way she wanted it to. The following Wednesday she was in her apartment alone and sent Sam a text –

**Samantha…do you mind if I use the HC tickets to go with someone else? Someone invited me…A. **

She was surprised she got an answer in about two minutes and figured Sam was alone and not with Carly.

**Who invited you?** Read the reply. Amber smiled evilly.

**Just someone…can I use them?**

Sam **- Who?**

Amber – **none of ur business…yes or no?**

Amber waited for the reply and was pleasantly surprised she got a phone call instead. She knew who it was by the caller ID but acted nonchalantly, "Hello?" She answered cheerfully.

"Who are you fucking going with?"

"Oh…hi, Samantha, how have you been?" She smiled at her working plan.

"Who, Amber…who are you going with?" Sam's voice sounded jealous.

"Oh…just a boy, we may double with Ran and Jason." Amber lied. "So can I use them? I can buy more…but I hate to see them go to waste…unless you want them back to take someone."

"No I do not fucking want them back…and what boy?" Sam sounded angrier.

"Samantha…it really is none of your business…"

"Where are you?" Sam interrupted.

"Home…so can I use them…" Amber frowned when the phone hung up. She decided to take a bath…it always made her feel a little better. Amber got a book to read, ran her bathwater, put in her lilac scented bath beads, took her clothes off, and sank her body into the tub. She read for about five minutes and then her mind drifted to her failed plan and Sam. Soon she started thinking about sex with Sam and how incredible it was and her fingers started playing between her legs. Amber found her clit and played with her nipples and soon found herself lost in self pleasure thinking of Sam and the way the blonde used to roughly use her most willing body. Amber moaned and was interrupted by the sound of her door buzzer. "Damn!" She exclaimed and got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around herself, and walked to the speaker dripping water on the hard wood floors.

"What!" She said irritated into the speaker.

"Let me up!" Said a harsh voice Amber knew all too well.

"S…Samantha…what are you doing here…I just got out of the tub and…"

"Let me up, Amber!" Sam said sharply.

Amber felt a little fear grip her body but buzzed Sam in. A minute later she heard knocking at her door and opened it still wearing nothing but her towel. She smiled and then frowned as Sam stared at her with her cold blue eyes.

"Samantha…if…if you are hear to yell at me…or…or h…hit me…or…hurt me…you can leave!" Amber said with fear. She knew that look in her ex's eyes all too well.

Sam pushed herself passed Amber and looked around the room, "Who's here! Is he here! Answer me!" She yelled at Amber. Amber walked passed the blonde and stood in the kitchen by the sink. Sam followed her.

"Why should you care? If I did have company…which I don't…it is none of your business." Amber said bravely but had a fearful look on her face.

Sam walked closer to the Goth girl and Amber cursed herself as she tried to back away but could not go any where as her back pressed against the sink. She should have given herself a way to escape. Sam stood very close to her now and her eyes were glaring with anger.

"Who is taking you to fucking homecoming? Tell me Amber! Who the fuck is it?" Sam yelled.

N…n…none of your business…I…y…you should leave now." Amber answered in a weak scared voice. This was not how she wanted her plan to unfold. She wanted Sam to come over and beg her to take her back. Amber really knew better, Sam did not beg for anything, but she was not thinking clearly. Amber let out a cry of pain as Sam grabbed her thin wrists and pinned both arms behind her back and then grabbed her wet hair with her other hand and pulled her head back. Amber did not struggle but looked the girl in the eyes.

"S…Samantha…it hurts…please…no…and…and it is none of your business who I go out with…you…please, Samantha, it hurts…let go." Amber whimpered out her pleas. Sam stared at her beautiful ex girlfriend and pulled her hair back harder and then she started kissing Amber's neck. Amber started to struggle but Sam was stronger and had her pinned.

"Please…no…no, Samantha…stop…I…don't…ohhhhh God…don't stop….I…I love you…please more…please...Love me, Samantha…I love you so much…tell me you love me...please love me!" Amber's pleas for the girl to stop turned into begging for her to continue as the blonde kissed her neck and pulled her towel off her. Sam let go of Amber's arms and the Goth girl wrapped them around the blonde as Sam spread her legs apart and found her pussy, which was wet. Amber got sexually excited as soon as Sam pushed her against the sink and pinned her arms behind her. Sam inserted a finger inside the brunette and Amber let out a loud moan of pleasure and dug her perfectly manicured nails in Sam's back.

"Ohhhh….please…ohhhh, Samantha…please…I want you…I love you…please tell me you love me….please!" Amber moaned out and Sam leaned down and kissed her breasts and took the pink erect nipple in her mouth and bit down; not to hard but with just the right about of pressure to make Amber give a very loud scream of pleasure. Amber was lost in passion as Sam bit and sucked her nipples and when the blonde's finger found her clit. She moaned and whimpered in the pleasure and pain the girl was causing her. Amber begged and pleaded Sam for more pleasure and for the blonde to love her. Sam soon brought Amber to a blissful orgasm and the brunette screamed out as she came and dug her nails deeper into Sam's back. After she came she laid her head on the blondes shoulder and smelled the wonderful scent of her hair. The scent she missed so much. Amber started to cry from the pleasure she was just given as well as having Sam back. Sam pushed Amber back to the sink and stepped back and pulled off her jeans and then panties. The blonde then grabbed Amber's hair and pulled her down to her knees. Amber knew what the other girl wanted and fell to her knees willingly. She kissed Sam's inner thighs and inhaled the wonderful scent of the blonde's pussy. Amber looked up at Sam.

"Let's go into the bedroom." She said as her fingers teased Sam's wet pussy causing the gasp of pleasure to escape her lips.

Sam looked down and grabbed Amber's head and pushed it to her pussy, "Make me come, Amber, like only you know how to do." She commanded and Amber smiled and spread the blonde's lips apart and inserted her tongue inside the girl. Sam grabbed Amber's hair and twisted it and pushed the girl deeper inside her. She soon started moaning and let out a loud gasp of pleasure as Amber's tongue found the blonde's clit. After a few moments of bliss Sam pulled amber up and led her to the couch without a word. Once on the couch she lat on her back and spread her legs. Amber tried to get on top of her and kiss her beautiful lips but Sam pushed her head down back to her spread thighs. Amber grinned and knew there would be plenty of time to worship the blonde's beautiful body later in the bed. Amber once again started to lick and suck and finger Sam and got pleasure as she heard the blonde moan and gasp in pleasure. As Amber's finger rubber her clit and her tongue drove inside her wet pussy, Sam brought her legs up higher and Amber knew her lover well enough to know what she wanted. The Goth licked around the other girl's ass and soon inserted her tongue deep in the small tight hole as her fingers expertly caressed the swollen clit. Soon Sam screamed in orgasm and pushed Amber's head deeper into her. After her pleasure slated, Amber kissed the blonde's inner thighs and crawled her way up Sam's body. She tried again to kiss the other girl, but Sam turned her head and pushed the Goth girl off her. Sam got off the couch and picked up her jeans and panties from the kitchen floor and put them back on.

"W…what…where…what…Samantha…where are you going…I…don't…aren't you going to spend the night?" Amber asked hopefully.

Sam looked at the naked girl and walked to the door. She opened the door and turned, "You can use the tickets…I don't care." She left the apartment and heard Amber screaming behind her.

"Noooo…Samantha….come back…I…I hate you…I FUCKING HATE YOU, SAMANTHA PUCKETT!" Sam heard Amber scream. Sam made her way to the bus stop and caught the next bus that arrived soon and made her way to the back and sat down. She sighed, _Sam…what did you just do? I…I could not help it_! She argued with her conscience, something she was not used to. _I…Oh fuck I am sorry Amber…I did not mean for that to happen. You…you just looked to damn sexy!_ She hated herself for what she did and hated herself for feeling so guilty about it and hated herself for hurting the girl again. She sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek. _AND I HATE FUCKING CRYING! _ She screamed in her head

Amber yelled she hated Sam and curled up on the couch and sobbed. She cried herself to sleep still naked and cold on the couch.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N – warning! Violence in this chapter**

**Chapter 18 – The Chat with the Queen of Diamonds**

The week after Sam's booty call was almost the same for Amber as the previous two. The only thing that changed for Amber was her mood, after Sam came over and had sex with her and left (after telling her she did not care if she went to homecoming with some one else); Amber felt more depressed than before. Amber would cry herself to sleep and tell herself she hated Samantha Puckett after the girl used her. But she knew she did not, she knew she loved as much as she ever did. It was just easier to tell herself she hated her than to tell herself she loved her. Amber fell deeper into her own pity and even stopped hanging around Freddie as much. The boy seemed concerned but she would just smile her charming smile, he did not know her well enough to know it was her fake smile, and tell him how excited she was about Saturday night and the dance. She even agreed to go with him Friday to the homecoming football game. Amber wanted desperately to talk to someone but Ran was gone to her now. Her former best friend had not called in days and Amber began to skip gym class to avoid her. She felt a deep lose over Ran…just as worse as she felt about losing Sam…just different. Amber even failed two tests this week, the first time she ever failed a test, and her school counselor picked up on her depression and even suggested she seek professional help. Amber blew him off and just asked how it would affect her college choices, if she decided to even go. He told her with her SAT scores her college future would most likely be in jeopardy, but she could not let her grades slip anymore. He then asked her what she meant about "if she went to college". Amber just told him she may not go to college right away and that things happen and she may not even be alive next fall. He expressed concern over her comment but she just shrugged and left his office muttering she only meant no one can predict the future. Another small tragic event happened Tuesday on her drive home from school. Amber was not paying attention and hit the car in front of her. It was a minor accident and no one was hurt, but she dented her brother's car and she panicked about how mad he was going to be. Amber asked Freddie what to do and he handled talking to the insurance company and took it to the body shop to get fixed. Amber did not tell her brother because she could not live if another person she loved hated her.

Freddie picked her up Wednesday morning for school and told her she could not give her a ride home since he had plans with his mother. Amber teased him a little and told him it was fine since she was going to meet Mrs. Pendleton after school for their extra curricular work and she was sure the teacher would give her a ride. During her Creative Writing class, Amber had moved to the back of the room with permission weeks ago after her and Sam broke up. She could not sit behind Carly and seriously not stab the girl in the back of the head with a pen or pencil. Troy Nichols was still in the class, but he stopped teasing her or making obscene comments and gestures to her two weeks ago. He just did not think it was fun anymore since the normally spunky girl would always have some smart mouthed retort, but now she just shrugged and ignored it. Amber was shocked at some of Troy's stories she heard when they had to read them in front of the class. They were pretty good. Mostly about football and girls, but not bad. She still did not like the pig of a boy through. Amber was pissed that Carly's stories and writing were perfect just like the rest of her. She hated that she loved the girl's stories. They were so full of life and funny and sometimes sad in the right places. Amber hated the girl more and more everyday_. Maybe I should have stabbed her in the head_, Amber thought as the beautiful brunette made her way to the front of the class to read their newest short story. Amber's thought of her story as Carly read hers to the class. Her stories lately were getting dark and gloomy, like her mood. She knew hers was not good and did not want to read it. It was so full of hate and suicidal thoughts and self mutilation. She knew Ms. Pendleton would not like it. Carly was done and people clapped, _fucking figures_, Amber thought and drifted back into her self pity. Another small change in Amber was her language. She normally hated using the F bomb, but lately she has been using it more and more.

"Ms. St. Claire…Ms. St. Claire…Amber! Would you please read yours now?" Amber straightened in her desk and sighed as some of the other students chuckled at her.

"Ummm…well…I'm sorry, Ms. Pendleton, but I did not finish. I…well…I did not even start." Amber lied.

"Ms. St. Claire, you were clear that is was due today, correct?"

"Yeah."

"'Yes, m'am', well I expect it tomorrow and no excuses. I am disappointed in you, Amber."

"Yeah…join the fucking club, lady." Amber muttered and saw the look Ms. Pendleton gave her. She knew the teacher heard her and she felt guilty. This lady showed her nothing but kindness and they formed a bond and Amber felt terrible about her comment.

Ms. Pendleton just ignored her and moved on to the next student. After class as Amber was leaving the room the teacher asked to see her a moment. Amber sighed and walked to her desk.

"Amber, first I did not appreciate the comment and that is all that is going to be said about that. Second, when we meet tonight…and we are meeting…you and I are going to talk. I know you finished your story and I want to read it. You may go." She said sternly.

"Yes, m'am…and I'm really sorry…I…" Amber stopped as the teacher held up her hand.

"I told you, dear, we are done with that."

"Yes, m'am. Umm…Ms. Pendleton…can you give me a ride home tonight. I wrecked my car and I…"

The teacher smiled, "Of course, dear, would be delighted to give you a ride." She said pleasantly and Amber could have sworn the way she said it was in a flirtatious tone. Amber always thought the beautiful black teacher flirted with her in the past…but wow, she was pretty obvious just then. Amber smiled and left the room.

Amber skipped gym again that afternoon and spent the period sulking in the photo lab. After school she made her way to Ms. Pendleton's classroom and sat in a desk up front while she waited. The teacher came back soon and smiled at Amber as she shut the door. _First time she ever shut the door_, Amber thought and smiled back.

"Sorry I was late…had a meeting with some other teachers…_your_ other teachers." She said as she sat down and motioned Amber up to her desk. Amber sat down in the chair next to her desk and looked confused.

"Umm…my teachers? I don't understand, Ms. Pendleton." Amber asked.

The teacher wagged a finger, "No, Natasha when we are alone, remember. I met with your teachers because your grades are slipping a little. I…we…agreed something was wrong, Amber. You failed two tests this week alone and your in class work and homework, which I understand you failed to even complete for several classes, has been under par for a student of your caliber. You counselor had mentioned this to you and said you seemed unconcerned and…well…made a comment he found troubling. Of course you know my feelings about his ability…but I am worried. Just in my class alone your stories have gotten very troubling. I would like to read the story you wrote last night…and do not insult me with that look…I know you wrote one. So, do we act like teacher/student or can we talk as two people who have had a bond of trust grow between them?"

Amber looked at the teacher and her first reaction was her typical defensive mechanism, make some smart mouth remark. But she saw the kindness in her beautiful brown eyes and broke. She decided to talk to her. "I…I don't know where to start, Natasha. I mean…well…simply put, my world came to a crashing stop all in two days…." Amber explained about her and Sam and her and Ran and their ended relationships and about the unfounded rumors of her and everything, only leaving out what she did at the party, her failed seduction of Freddie, and the night she was a simple booty call for her ex. By the time she ended she was crying in the teachers arms. "…and then yesterday I wrecked my brother's car…and…and now he is going to hate me too." Amber cried and Natasha held her and stroked her hair in a seductive way, or Amber thought.

"Shhh…its ok, Amber…shhh. I know it seems a tragic last several weeks, but do you know how well you have it. I use to counsel children your age who were pregnant, on their way to jail for selling drugs, and recovering from being shot all at the same time. You'll be fine, dear…shhh…" Amber cried harder, she did not care about the other kids. She cared about her life and pain. "It will get better…trust me. I do not know of one person over sixteen that has not had a broken heart and they heal. And your friend Ran, you need to talk to her. If you are as close as you said then a simple conversation can heal that wound. And I doubt your brother will hate you for wreaking his car. He may be mad, but he won't hate you. Now if it was my brother…well I would be moving to Canada right now. He was one mean SOB. One time I shot him in the back with a BB gun and had to hide at my Aunt's house for three weeks before I thought it was safe to come home." Natasha chuckled and Amber did too. Amber pulled back and looked at the beautiful teacher. She felt a little better. She was not going to have her wounds healed by one simple talk, but maybe she should talk to Ran…clear the air and try to get her friend back. Sam was a different story. Her blonde ex would be more difficult…or she could just move on. Amber had that thought as she looked at the sexy lips of Natasha. Amber leaned in and kissed her teacher and tried to place he tongue in that sexy mouth, but it was stopped and she was pushed back gently.

"Amber…what…I…" Natasha stammered and quickly regained control of herself, "What was that, dear. Why did you do that?"

Amber gave her a shocked look, "I…I thought you…you wanted me too. I mean…you have been flirting with me and…I…"

Natasha smiled, "Amber, if I gave you the wrong signals, I am sorry. I never flirted with you. Amber, I am engaged dear and have two children. And also, I could lose my job and go to jail. You are only seventeen." She took hold of Amber's hand, "dear child, I understand you are confused right now and hurting emotionally…more than I thought. I find you a very intelligent and intriguing young girl, but…well…I am straight and even if I was not I would not ever use my position to seduce a child."

Amber pulled her hand away and stood up mortified and tears ran down her cheeks mixed with her mascara. "I…I…oh God…I…ohhhhh…" She grabbed her purse and ran from the room leaving her books behind.

"Amber!...Amber!...I…you…you need a ride…" Natasha got up and knocked Amber's books off her desk and sighed. She saw some papers fall out of her notebook and picked it up. It was the story the girl wrote for her class. The teacher sat down and started to read it. She decided not to chase after the girl knowing Amber was to embarrassed at this time to talk to her. After she read the very well written story, one of the girl's best so far, Natasha put it down and sighed, "Oh dear." She said aloud and called her husband, who was a physiologist.

Amber ran to her car and when she got to the parking lot realized she did not have her car. She was crying and needed a ride home. She looked at her watch and saw it was a little after five PM. The city busses stopped running to and from the school at five and the closet bus stop that ran until nine was about three miles away. She called Freddie and got voice mail and remembered he was with his mother. Next she called Sam, she hated to but felt she had no choice. Again voice mail but this time she left a message asking her to call back and she needed a ride home from school. The she remembered Sam does not have a car. _Yeah like you didn't remember…you did…you just wanted to talk to her…and maybe she would do you again like she did last week…you are such a fucking whore, Amber_, she thought of herself with disgust and then called one person she could. There was no way in hell she was going to ask Natas…Ms. Pendleton for a ride. Amber dialed the number and it picked up and the person on the other side was giggling.

"Hello?" The familiar female voice said.

"Ran…its…me…Amber. I…I need some help…" Amber broke down crying again.

"Amber! Are you ok? Ams, where are you!" The voice sounded worried.

"I…I'm fine and I'm at school…I…I need a ride home." She said with desperation.

"What? Is that why you are crying…because you need a ride? Oh my God! Ok…ok…I'll come get you. God forbid you walk a mile or so to the closest bus station and actually ride a city bus." Ran replied and then regretted it when the girl on the other side of the phone started crying again.

"I…I'm sorry…I should…I should not have called…I'm sorry. I…never mind…I should have known better."

"Ams…hey what's wrong…you sure you're ok?" Ran asked more kindly.

"Yeah…just a bad day…sorry…I'll walk or something…maybe hitch."

"God! Don't be such a drama queen. I'll come get you. Stay in the gym. The football players will be lifting weights until around eight so it will be unlocked. I'll come get you."

"O…ok…thanks Ran…and maybe…maybe we can talk." Amber sniffled

She heard Ran giggle and doubted the other girl heard her but that was fine; she would talk to her later. "Sure, baby, whatever…see you soon." The phone hung up with Ran shouting "Jason, stop!" and more giggling.

Ran made her way to the gym and sat on the bleachers. She saw the football players lifting weights in the weight room and the cheerleaders practicing on the gym floors. She did notice Tiffany, Maria, and Keisha glare at her. Maria gave her an obscene finger gesture. Amber just turned her head and waited.

Ran hung up the phone as Jason started tickling her stomach with his mouth and was working his way up to her naked breasts. She was at her house in her room and her parents would be gone until around nine.

"So is she ok?" Jason asked

"Yeah…needs a ride from school. I told her I would come get her." Ran said as she threw a willing Jason on his back and started kissing his neck. He pushed her off of him.

"Hey…we should go get her. I could hear her crying through the phone."

Ran pulled his arms off her and started kissing his neck again, "No…she…is…fine…just…broke…a…nail…most…likely…she's…fine." Ran said as she kissed his neck. Jason pushed her off again.

"Ran…she sounded upset…maybe we should go and get her now."

Ran gave him a pouting look, which looked silly for someone who never pouted, "She's ok…we have plenty of time. The gym closes later because of you football jocks lifting weights…why I'll never know since you all take steroids anyway. Hey…speaking of lifting weights…how come you don't."

Jason laughed and flexed his muscles, which were well defined, "I don't need to…plus I _am_ the QB and we can't get all muscle bound and stuff. We are the smart ones."

Ran laughed and started kissing Jason's exposed chest and licking his nipples. Jason groaned in pleasure and looked down at Ran. "Ran, you sure? We should go."

Ran started kissing her boyfriend's stomach and then pulled down the waist band of his boxer briefs. Jason's erect penis popped out and Ran started kissing it, "Umm…I think we have time." Jason did not mention going to get Amber again as Ran put the penis in her mouth.

Sam and Carly were watching television and Sam's place. They were more talking and laughing than watching he TV. Sam heard her phone ring and Carly picked it up since it was on the table by her side of the couch. She handed it to Sam while looking at the caller ID. She frowned.

"Guess who?" She said as Sam took the phone. Sam did not tell Carly what she did to Amber several nights ago and was not planning on it. Carly may hate the Goth girl, but even she would agree it was a terrible thing to do. Sam pressed the ignore button and placed the phone on the couch.

A few minutes later Carly went to the bathroom and Sam sighed and picked up her phone. She was curious since Amber did not call or "stalk" her after their breakup. She listened to the voice mail of a crying Amber asking her for a ride. She sounded upset and it worried Sam a little until the girl mentioned in her message that she was ok and just needed a ride from school. Sam was staring out the phone when Carly got her attention after calling her name several times.

"Sorry…was just thinking."

"What did she want?" Carly asked a little sharply than she wanted it to sound.

"Oh…a ride…she was upset."

Carly looked at her best friend, a friend she do anything in the world for, even help her help help someone she hated, "Sam…do you want to borrow my car to go get her." Carly asked.

Sam looked at Carly and smiled. The other girl showed just how much she cared about her. She was willing to help Sam take care of someone the brunette hated. "No…she'll be ok. She just needed a ride and was all upset because she probably got a run in her stocking or something. But thanks, Carls, that meant a lot."

Carly shrugged, "Well I was going to cut the break line…the driver side had an air bag and the passenger side doesn't."

Sam laughed and they went back to talking.

Amber looked at her watch and groaned; it had been forty five minutes since she called Ran. The cheerleaders were gone but the weight room was still full of the football players. She watched them a while and noted how stupid boys were as she saw them interact with one another. The Goth girl stood up, she had to pee very badly and held it as long as she could; expecting Ran to pick her up by now. She made her way to the girl's locker room. Amber entered and cursed under her breath. Standing by the sinks and putting on makeup were Tiffany, Maria, and Kiesha. The girls had changed out of their shorts and tee shirts they practiced in and were in street clothes. All three girls turned when Amber walked in and Tiffany showed a cruel smile. Amber ignored her and made her way to one of the stalls, only to be blocked by Maria. The pretty Cuban held the door closed.

"Well…look who it is? Is the little dyke trying to sneak a peek at girls changing?" Tiffany sneered.

Amber took a deep breath, she really had to pee. She ignored the comment and made her way to the next stall and Maria stepped in front of her and held that door shut as well. "Look, Maria, I have to pee very bad. Let me pee and then the three of you can insult me all you want."

"Awww…the dyke has to piss. I'll tell you what, freak, lick my boots and then you can pee." Maria said. Amber looked down and saw the Cuban was wearing a very nice pair of black boots that came to her knees and had pointy toes, a red skirt with a large black belt with metal studs on it, and a black blouse. She looked very pretty as her long dark hair spilled past her shoulders.

"Please, Maria…I have to pee." Amber pleaded. The three girls only laughed at her.

"Then lick her boots, dyke." Tiffany said and walked behind the Goth girl. She grabbed Amber's hair and pulled and then grabbed the other girl's arms and forced them behind her back. They were brought up beyind her joints ans muscles could extend and hurt. She then forced Amber to her knees. Amber whimpered and complained it hurt but they ignored her. Tiffany then pushed her head down lower and Maria brought her right foot up in front of her face.

"Lick them, bitch!"

"Please…you're hurting me…Please…let me pee…what have I ever done…ohhhh…that hurts…what have I ever done to you." Amber begged as she tried to look up, but her head was held tight by Tiffany. Amber let out a cry of pain as Maria's foot connected with bottom lip hard. The toe of the girl's boot split her lip and Amber could taste the blood and then see it splatter on the bathroom tile floor. Amber started to get really scared now. She was used to their verbal torments but this and the incident in the parking lot several weeks ago was the first time they got physical with her.

Tiffany pulled her head back by her hair. "Didn't do anything? Why you little bitch, Freddie broke up with me because of you. He did not like the way I treated you and now I heard he is going with you to homecoming! Why he wants to go with a little dyke whore like you is beyond me. And then Jason broke up with Maria for the same reason and now he is fucking that Asian whore friend of yours!"

Maria stuck her boot on Amber's face again, "Plus I did not get to finish kicking your ass last year so I intend on doing it today." She then rubbed her boot on Amber's face. "And you got blood on my boots…lick them whore…lick them clean!" The Cuban shoved her boot close to Amber's mouth. Amber tried to turn her head but it was held tight by Tiffany. Her lip was bleeding badly and her blood flowed into her mouth, on the floor, and on the boot. She was very frightened and hurting and placed her tongue on the other girl's boot and licked. She was humiliated to do so, but her fear was greater. Amber started to cry. Of course the more she licked the more blood she got on the boot and Maria finally nudged the Goth's girl's face with her toe and went to the sink and washed the blood off the leather.

"Please…please…you are hurting me…I…I won't go with him…please." Amber begged but the sight of her blood sent the girls into a frenzy like a school of sharks. Tiffany tried to pull her up by her hair, but Amber went limp as she cried put in pain. Kiesha came over and grabbed her arm and helped Tiffany pull her to her feet. Maria came back over and opened the bathroom stall door and it slammed into Amber's left eye. The force of the blow stunned her and she saw stars dance around her vision. She tried to cry out but was stopped when Maria's fist slammed into her already throbbing eye. Amber fell to the dirty bathroom floor next to the toilet. She felt her head being pulled up and then her face falling into the bowl of the toilet and the water hitting her face. Amber heard the girls laugh and make a comment that is was a shame the toilet was clean.

Amber cried out and heard Kiesha yell to shut her up and she felt finger nails rake across her cheek as one of the girl's tried to grab her head, which she was thrashing from side to side. Again the Goth girl felt a fist slam into her face, this time the right side of her cheek. Amber begged and pleaded and sobbed but the girl's did not heed her cries. She tried to look around and noticed for the first time since being hit twice in the eye, she could not see out of her left side. She cried more and felt her legs being spread apart and a hand reach up and grab her panties.

"No…no…God please…noooo…don't…I'll…I'll do anything…pleaaaseeee noooo!" Amber begged and sobbed and felt her panties being ripped from her body and then stuffed in her mouth. She could taste the blood from her busted lip as it soaked her panties. Her face was dunked into the toilet bowl and one of the girls lifted her skirt. Amber thrashed about in fear and pain. She thought they would drown her and do things to her she was too afraid to think about. Kiesha, who held her face in the toilet, lifted her head and slammed it against the edge of the seat with such force Amber thought she would loose consciousness. After what happened next she wished she would have.

She muffled pleas through her gag and then muffled a scream as she felt searing pain on her buttocks. Maria took off her metal studded belt and struck her hard on her butt. Amber tried to bed for them to stop and almost choked on her underwear as she felt the pain again and again as the belt struck her butt. After about ten to fifteen times she finally lost control of her bladder and urinated on herself and the floor. The three girls taunted her and teased her verbally.

"Ewww…the whore pissed herself." Tiffany laughed. Amber felt her head and body pulled from the toilet and thrown to the floor in her own urine. The girls laughed as Tiffany rolled her around in it and then stuck her face in the puddle causing the liquid to soak her hair.

"Lick it up, cunt! Lick up your piss." Amber felt her face being rubbed in the urine and her gagged removed right before her mouth was placed in the puddle. She gasped for breath which caused her urine to enter her mouth. Tiffany held her head down and Amber was forced to lick the floor at the puddle. Amber licked it willingly in hopes the girls would stop beating her. She sobbed in pain and humiliation and heard their taunts and laughter. The Goth girl felt a sharp pain in her side and saw out of the corner of her right eye Maria draw back her foot again and felt the pain once more as the girl kicked her stomach and side. Amber then vomited on the floor and on her self and felt her head dropped in her stomach bile.

"Gross…" Kiesha laughed. Amber felt Tiffany pick her head up by her hair and lean down to her ear.

"You stink, cunt! If you tell anyone about this we will make it worse. Do you understand me, skanky whore?"

Amber whimpered out a yes and a promise she would not tell anyone and gave another cry of pain as booted foot slammed into her side again. The Goth girl then saw stars once more and again almost lost consciousness as another foot connected with her head. Amber heard more laughter and the sound of the three girl's footsteps as they left the bathroom. She curled up in her own vomit and urine and sobbed in pain and humiliation.

The beaten girl did not know how long she lay there, but she finally found the strength to move. Her eye and lip throbbed and her head was pulsing in pain. When she tried to stand she felt dizzy and a sharp pain in her side that caused her to fall back to the floor. Amber cried and whimpered and crawled from the bathroom. She almost passed out twice before she made it crawling out the door. She crawled to the gym and the pain and dizziness finally claimed her and she stopped and lay on the cold floor. She did not know how long she lay there until she heard shouts and male voices and felt her head being gently picked off the floor.

"Some one fucking call 911!" A male voice yelled out and Amber whimpered in pain as strong but gentle hands lifted her up. She looked up and out of her right eye she saw a tall big figure take her in his arms. Her left eye was swollen shut and her right eye focused on the boy. It was Troy Nichols.

"H…help me…please." Amber whimpered out.

"I got you…I got you…I am taking you to the nurses station." He said gently, "Get the fuck out of the way and I told you to fucking call 911!" He shouted at figures Amber could not see. She painfully lifted her arms and placed them around his neck and sobbed. The pain in her side hurt terribly as she cried but she could not control herself. The boy whispered as he carried her, "I got you…it'll be ok…I got you." Amber passed out as he carried her to the nurse's station.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N – I would like to thank everyone for the reviews. I appreciate it, guys and girls!!! Also an error correction from the last chapter. The teacher Mrs. Pendleton I first mentioned she is engaged and then a little later I mention her husband. She is married. Sorry about that.**

**Chapter 19 – The Hospital**

Amber regained consciousness in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and lost it again due to the intense pain in her head while being rolled into the emergency room on the gurney. She came to as the doctors woke her and started to examine her. They asked her several times if she was raped. They asked her for her nearest relative and she gave them Mr. and Mrs. Isuel's name but could not remember the number due to her head spinning out of control. One doctor asked her if it was the Isuel that owned the sporting good stores, Amber said yes, and the doctor told her they could find the number since he donates a lot to the hospital for charity. Amber was crying and the doctors gave her a sedative to help her sleep and rolled her to a room. They said the needed to keep her a few days for observation since she had a severe concussion and they wanted to get a specialist to look at her eye since she still could not see out of it.

Amber woke the next morning and at first did not know where she was at. As soon as she turned to her side her ribs gave her a shooting pain and it all came back to her. She glanced around the room and saw the IV's running from her arms and she had a terrible head ache. She suddenly noticed she could not see out of her left eye and brought her hand to her face and felt a bandage over her eye and one over her bottom lip on the right side. It all came back to her, waiting for Ran, going to the bathroom, being beaten and humiliated. They made her role around in her own urine and lick it up, and worse she licked her urine off the floor willingly if it made the girls stop beating her. Then she got sick and they made her role around in her vomit. She remembered it all and wished she couldn't. _Funny…I don't feel like crying_, she thought, _how strange_…_I feel nothing…just numbness_. Her throat hurt when she swallowed and remembered one of the girls choking her, she forgot which one.

"Morning sleepy head." A vaguely familiar voice said and Amber looked in that direction.

""amanfa," Amber said and it came out as a croaking whisper and she could not form the correct words due to her lip. She smiled at the blonde who got up from her chair next to the bed and picked up a white paper cup "wha are ou oing ere?"

Sam smiled and placed the cup's straw to Amber's lip and the brunette girl took a long sip. The cold water felt good on her throat. After she was done, she pulled her head back and looked at her ex-girlfriend. Sam looked tired as if she had not slept and she was wearing the same clothes she wore to school. _Ok…ok so I stalk her a little…just to get a glimpse of her everyday_, Amber thought when she saw the clothes Sam had on. A pair of yellow and tan plaid Capri pants and a long sleeve yellow and black striped Rugby shirt. Sam smiled and brushed the other girl's hair away from her face on her right side.

"Ran called me last night and told me. I came over as soon as I heard."

Amber looked around and frowned, "ere is she?" Sam knew she was talking about Ran.

"Umm…she left. The nurse called her parents last night, but they weren't home and told Ran. She called their cell and Ran and Jason came right over and she left when her parents came and the doctors told us you would be ok and just need to recover for a few days. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel left about an hour ago. They've been here all night and said they'll be back later." Sam did not mention the Asian girl did not stay to see Amber after the doctors allowed her visitors and that the girl was acting strange.

"Oh…guess she ill e ack ater." Amber said and then it hit her. _The hospital called Ran's home and she was there. She was supposed to pick me up…and Jason came in with her…so that meant she was at home with Jason instead of picking me up! That bitch! I knew she was mad at me…but to lie to me and…and…she was not even going to come get me! That lying bitch_! _I…I thought she was just angry with me….not that she really hated me as to lie to me! That lying bitch!_ Amber thought and turned her head away from Sam. Her thoughts made her head hurt worse. She took a deep breath and regretted it as it hurt her side and looked at Sam. _Samantha said she got here last night, she is wearing the same clothes as yesterday…she stayed all night with me! Ohhhh Samantha…you do care!_ Amber smiled at the tired looking blonde.

"'amanfa, i are oo ere? 'oo ould e at oohl." Amber asked.

Sam smiled, "I figured I could skip a few days. I haven't got into trouble all year and the teachers were getting nervous. Figured I was planning something huge. So if I lay out of school a few days then they can relax."

Amber giggled and her lip hurt along with her side. She shifted herself in the bed trying to sit up and discovered her butt burned in pain. She gently lay back down. Amber touched the bandages on her face again, "'amanfa, ow…ow am I oing?"

Sam sighed, "You have a concussion, a pretty bad one from what the doc said, six stitches in your lip, one cracked rib and some bruised ones, and your eye is…pretty bad. And…well…you have some very bad cuts and bruises on you butt." Sam said as she brushed Amber's hair again. The girl let out a small moan of pleasure from the caress.

"I an't ee out of i eye." Amber said sadly.

Sam frowned, "Yeah, the doc said…well…baby, your retina is damaged and that is why." Sam did not tell her the doctor mentioned there was a chance she would not regain the sight. A thirty percent chance, but that was still a chance. A specialist was going to look at it later. Sam also did not tell her she was still in shock. Which would explain how calm she was acting…very un-Amber like.

"Mr. Isuel called your brother and he should be here tomorrow night. He caught the first flight he could and it is a long way from Australia." Amber frowned. She did not want him to see her like this. Sam continued, "Also there are two policemen waiting for you. They've been here for about an hour waiting to talk to you. They want to ask you a few questions…about what happened and who did it. Amber, I want to know. I want to know who did it before you tell them." Sam said calmly but Amber saw the dangerous glare in her eyes.

"O'nt ember." Amber lied. She remembered almost every detail and more kept coming back to her. She lied because she was afraid if she told the girls would come back and do the same to her or worse, but she the main reason she lied is that she did not want to talk or think about the pain and humiliation she suffered.

Sam looked at her and knew she was lying, but did not press the issue. Now was not the time. She knew who did it even if Amber would not tell her. "Well, let me get the detectives…you have to talk to them."

"'amamfa, I ove you."

Sam bent down and kissed the girl's forehead, "I know, baby, I know. Just tell them the truth…ok."

"oo I ook ok?" She asked and Sam smiled, _typical Amber_, she thought, "You look beautiful." She said.

"Oo you ave a irror?" She asked Sam and the blonde shook her head. She did have one in her purse, but she was not going to give it to Amber because she did not want her to freak out if she saw herself. In truth she looked like what happened to her. Cuts, scratches, and bruises on her face and around her neck, her lip black and swollen, and even with the bandage on her eye it still looked swollen and the horrible black bruise extended below the bandage. Her long thick hair was wild looking since the nurses bathed her last night and washed her hair but did not brush it out.

"You look fine, Amber…as pretty as ever."

Amber smiled and it hurt her lip and nodded. Sam walked out the door and opened it and Amber heard her say "she's awake." The blonde waited until two detectives came in the room, both young and dressed in suits and ties, and she winked at Amber and started to leave the room. One of the detectives looked at Sam.

"Don't I know you?" He asked.

Sam grinned at him, "Yeah…we met once or twice." He smiled unkindly and nodded.

"I remember. The incident at the skateboard park last year when those two boys got beat up."

Sam smiled wickedly, "That would be it." She said and left the room.

Both detectives stood over Amber and asked her questions about what happened, any enemies who would do this, etc and every reply the girl said as "I don't remember". After getting the same reply over and over the older one told her that unless she could give them an answer they could not get conviction even if they found the person or people involved. They told her they would continue the investigation, but would not be able to prosecute if she did not help. Amber again said she did not remember and they left knowing she was lying but gave her a card and told her if they did remember to call them.

Sam came back in as soon as they left and Amber mentioned she was hurting and the blonde told her about her morphine drip pump and Amber clicked it and in a few moments she was feeling better and tired. She fell asleep with Sam standing over her brushing back with her hand the girl's un-combed hair from her face.

Amber woke later that afternoon and found not only Sam still in the room but Ran's mom and dad but no Ran. The Isuel's doted on her and made sure she had anything she needed. They tried to get her to eat some soup, but Amber was not hungry. She asked where Ran was and Mrs. Isuel frowned and said she was at home. She told Amber Ran seemed sick and did not go to school and was still sleeping when they left the house. Amber thought it was very unlike Ran to sleep late and she felt a great deal of sadness that her best friend was not there. Sam remained in the room but out of the way to let Ran's mom and dad talk to the girl who was like a second daughter to them. Mrs. Isuel cried a great deal and her husband had tears in his eyes as he talked to the damaged girl. No one asked Amber if she remembered anything about the attack; they figured she would talk about it when she was ready to. It surprised them all how calm she acted and did not cry once. They all three knew Amber very well and it was so unlike her. When Mr. Isuel asked the doctor he said it was a mixture of the morphine and she was still in shock until something would snap her out of it.

The Isuel's stayed a long time and were still there when Amber started to get visitors. The first was Freddie and Jason together and Amber apologized to Freddie that she would not be able to go to homecoming with him. Freddie glanced at Sam, who had yet to know who Amber was going with, and the blonde just smiled at him to the relief of the others. Sam somehow knew it was just a friendship date. Amber did not speak to Jason much except to ask him how come Ran was not there. He just shrugged and said she was not feeling well but when he tried to call her she would not answer her phone and told her mom and dad she did not want to talk to him. Amber did not ask him why Ran lied to her about picking her up. That was something she needed to deal with Ran about alone. For the first time since she met her best friend she felt true anger at the Asian girl. She felt even hate for the girl. Other than that she acted cold to Jason and he picked up on the tension and told Freddie he would met him downstairs and left. Sam followed him.

Jason got on the elevator and just as the doors were closing a hand caught the doors and they sprang open. Jason saw Sam standing there and sighed when she got in the elevator.

"So where are you running to?" She asked in a clam but threatening voice.

"Umm…just going to get a drink and wait for Freddie in the car." Jason answered but avoided Sam's glare.

"I see. Jason, where's Ran?" Sam asked again in a cold voice.

"I…I don't know, Sam. Home I am sure. She's not returning my calls."

"Well if you do talk to her, let her know that her best fucking friend is asking for her. And tell her…fucking tell her it is a shitty thing she is doing. Mad at her or not she should fucking be here! I don't know what is going on with her and Amber, but tell her now is not the fucking time to act like a bitch to her best friend. Tell her I fucking said that and if she had a problem with it to come see me. No press the fucking third floor so I can get off." Jason did not say a word but pressed the button for the number three and Sam got off.

The biggest surprise Amber got that day, besides Ran not being there, was when Troy Nichols showed up with a hand full of almost dead looking flowers. He came into the room after knocking and looked embarrassed to even be there. Amber smiled at him and he gave her the flowers. Amber told him they were lovely and asked Sam to put them some water for her. She thanked Troy for helping her and he gave a sheepish grin and muttered out how sorry he was. Amber knew his "sorry" was not just for what happened to her but for all the crude things he said about her and did to her in the past. Amber took his hand when he was going to leave and surprised the boy when she pulled him close and kissed his cheek and asked him to stay for a moment. Troy smiled and nodded and told Amber he might as well stay for a few moments since he skipped football practice to come see her. Amber was very touched by his gesture and they chatted for about thirty minutes and Amber even told him his stories in the writing class were pretty good. Troy gave her an embarrassed smile again and thanked her. After he left Sam made a sarcastic comment about the way the flowers looked and Amber smiled but did not say a word. Sam was not as forgiving as she was. To her they were some of the prettiest flowers she ever got. She knew they would never be friends but she finally saw the boy as he was. He was a big strong boy who was afraid of girls and interacted with the opposite sex the only way he knew how; through crude comments and remarks. Amber saw in him a follower who was afraid to be a leader so he went with the crowd he hung around with, afraid to act on his own but he had a very kind and gentle heart deep down.

Mrs. Pendleton came to visit and stayed a while and brought her husband. Amber was very embarrassed to see her at first until the teacher just talked to her like nothing happened and Amber relaxed. Mr. Pendleton was kind and asked her some strange questions. Reminded Amber of her school counselor.

Amber felt tired and in pain, she hated the way the morphine made her feel and tried to avoid using it but the pain finally got to bad she and she used the drip. After a few moments of feeling high and not herself she fell asleep. Before she drifted off she told Sam she should go home and go to school the next day. Sam said ok and watched Amber fall asleep. Amber woke the next morning and saw the television was on but the volume was muted. She looked at the couch and saw Sam curled up asleep and shivering. The blonde was still in the same clothes as the previous day. Amber smiled and took the blanket off her bed and did her best to try and toss it over the sleeping girl. She was not successful and just ended up waking Sam. He blonde looked at her and smiled and yawned. She then wrapped the blanket around her.

"Thanks, I was cold."

"I told you to go home." Amber said and noticed she could talk better this morning but still could not see out of her eye. The specialist was coming today to look at it and she was going to be released tomorrow. She was happy to be getting out of the hospital but she did not know where she was going to go. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel told her she would stay with them, but Amber could not be in that house with Ran right now. She needed to talk to her friend, but right now was not the time. But soon she would confront her and find out how come she hated her so much that she lied about picking her up and allowed this to happen to her. But that would be later. Amber knew she could not go home alone right now. She needed some care of course and she did not want to be alone. She had a nightmare last night and somehow knew it was going to get worse. She looked at Sam and smiled as the blonde got up and sat in the chair next to the bed.

"Samantha…can…when I leave tomorrow…can…can I stay with you…just for a few days until I get better."

"Of course you can…I was hoping you would come back and you can stay as long as you want."

Amber smiled, "I thought you were going home last night?"

Sam shrugged, "Well I was going to but then I realized I did not have money for the bus."

Amber giggled and her ribs hurt some, "Liar." She reached and grabbed Sam's hand, "Samantha…thank you. You being here means so much to me. It makes happy…very happy. I…I love you."

Sam opened her mouth but Amber placed a finger on her lips, "Shhh…no…I don't want you to lie and say you love me back…just know I love you so much and…thank you."

Sam gently took Amber's finger from her mouth and smiled, "I love you to, Amber. Now how about breakfast…and no hospital food. There is a place around the corner. I'll go get us some food. The nurse will be in here in a moment to take blood and all anyway and I'll just be in the way."

Amber smiled, "Yeah go get you something. I'm not hungry…but you need to eat."

Sam stood and kissed her forehead, put on her jacket and went to the diner on the corner. She felt her phone vibrate and pulled it from her jacket pocket. She flipped it open.

"Hey, Carls."

"Hey, Sam, ummm…how is she?" Carly asked. Sam explained and heard Carly groan. Her friend always told her that while she hated Amber she never wanted her to get hurt.

"So are you going to be in school today?"

"No…I'm staying with her. She gets out tomorrow and she is going to stay with me for a while. Something is going on with her and Ran and she doesn't want to stay there."

"Why your place? I…I don't think that would be a good idea!" Carly snapped. "I mean…I feel sorry for her but it is not your fault. I know why you are there with her and why you want her to stay with you. You feel guilty, Sam, about what happened. It is not your fault. You could not have known!"

"Carly…yeah it is. If I had borrowed your car like you offered and went to get her then this would not have happened."

"You do not know that! You have no idea if she would not have been hurt."

"Yeah I do, Carly. It is my fault. I should have picked her up…hell I should not have broken up with her and none of this would have happened."

"Bullshit! You do not know that…you…damn it, Sam, answer this…do you love her?"

"Carly, it is not that simple."

"It is very simple, Sam. Do you love her?"

Sam sighed, "Yeah I do…I care about her…and…yeah I love her." Sam said but Carly heard doubt in her voice.

"That is a bunch of shit! Remember this Sam Puckett, guilt is not love! And neither is obsession! She does not love you either, she is obsessed with you! Just remember that…and…and I hope you are damn happy with her." Carly hung up the phone.

Sam cursed and felt sad. She just became friends with Carly again and now it was ending again. She took three steps and cursed again, _Fuck this…it is not going to be easy for her this time! _Sam dialed Carly's number.

"What!"

"Let me tell you this, Shay. Who I date or don't date is none of your business and if me dating Amber is going to stop us from being friends, then you are not a good best friend! And I am not going to let her tell me who I can and can't be friends with! So you had better…"

"Sam, Shut up! I am still you best friend and I love you! Just don't ask me to like her…I can never do that. I can tolerate her for you, but that is it."

Sam took a deep breath and felt better when Carly said they were still friends. "Well…I am sure when the two of you get to know one another then you would see her like other people do and she will see you like other people do. By the time of Spencer's wedding you will not care if I bring her."

Carly laughed, "Oh…I'm not worried about you bringing her to Spencer's wedding. You won't be dating her that long. I know you better than she does Sam. I know your guilt only takes you so far. You'll dump her in two weeks. I just hate to see you waste two weeks on her and watch her manipulate the guilt you feel so she can be with you. I love you, Sam, but I have to go to school…call me later."

Sam looked at her phone after Carly hung up, _No…I do love her! It is not guilt! I do love her, right? I am not doing this out of guilt am I?_

Amber waited for Sam to return after the nurse took more blood, changed her bandages, and took her blood pressure. She still could not see out of her eye and that worried her. She thought of Sam and was very happy the blonde still loved her, but felt a deep sadness over Ran. Sadness mixed with anger and blame. She started to blame Ran for what happened. If the girl would not have lied to her then she could have called someone else to come get her or walk to the bus stop. If Ran would not have lied to her about picking her up instead of fucking Jason, Amber never would have had to go into that bathroom. Amber felt hate for Ran burn inside her and she felt sadness over the end of what used to be a wonderful trusting friendship. She also felt sadness over what she knew would be a loss of Ran's parents. There was no way in hell she would ever go back to that house with Ran there. She tried to cry but strangely the tears would not come. No tears over Ran, not tears over what had happened to her, and not even tears of happiness over Sam. Amber just could not cry.

Sam came back with some food for her self and a little soft breakfast consisting of a boiled egg and toast for Amber. Amber smiled and thanked her girlfriend and put the food aside. It would go untouched all day. That day went like the previous one. Sam stayed with her and the Isuel's came back to visit without Ran, they made their excuses about Ran still not feeling well and how their daughter stayed in her room all day yesterday and slept most of the time. She must be very sick, Mrs. Isuel commented. Amber smiled politely at the two people she loved a great deal, but knew she did not care if Ran came or not. The detectives came back and told her the investigation was coming to a halt and they had a few suspects but unless Amber could remember anything they had no case. Amber again lied and said she could not. Before they left, Sam asked who they suspected and they told the blonde they could not say. Sam smiled evilly and said that was ok, she could figure it out. Amber begged Sam not to do anything and after a while Sam promised she wouldn't, but Amber could tell by the dangerous look in the girl's eyes it was an empty promise. Amber worried what her girlfriend would do. Amber had a lot of other visitors from her social click was touched by the people that came to see her. A few of the boys and even several of the girls promised her those bitches would pay, but Amber assured them it was not who they thought. Most believed her lie, but a few did not.

It was around eight in the evening and Amber was chatting with Sam, the brunette was not tired since she slept on and off all day, when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in." Sam said and looked at Amber and winked. Amber made a comment about it being her room and smiled at Sam.

The only light in the room was from the television and now from the hallway through the open door. Amber looked and saw a tall figure fill the doorway as the door opened.

"Amber…sis…you awake." A masculine voice said quietly.

"PATRICK!" Amber squealed in delight and wished she could have jumped out of the bed. The figure walked into the room and Sam turned on the overhead light and smiled. She always liked Amber's brother. She looked at him when he walked in the room. He was tall, about six three, and very physically fit. Sam knew that under the jeans and loose button down shirt he wore untucked were muscles as hard as steel. He physique was not like an overly muscled body builder, but leaner and taunt like a well muscled swimmer. Sam remembered when they went to the beach before he left how girls stared at him when he walked the beach shirtless. He also had a face to match his body. He was very handsome with a boyish smile, which he did not show at this moment, and clear sky blue eyes that turned icy when angry. His light brown hair was cut short in a professional style and he kept it in a little unkempt look on purpose. It looked as if her just ran his fingers through it to keep it combed, which is what he did. Sam thought he was just gorgeous and if she was straight she would be all over him in a minute. His normally clean shaven face had a growth of stubble and it looked as if he had not slept in a while. His eyes were tired looking and bloodshot.

Patrick walked into the lit room and looked at his sister, "Oh, poor baby…you poor baby." He said when he saw her battered and bruised face. Amber noticed he had watery eyes. She thought he must be very tired.

"Well, silly, don't just stand there, you big oaf, come hug me. I may be sore but I won't break." Amber said gleefully as she used the button and raised the bed and tossed the fashion magazine she had been reading earlier off her lap.

Patrick walked to her and bent over and hugged her gently, afraid she _may_ just break. It hurt Amber at first but she did not care and hugged him back tighter. Then she noticed his body shook several times and she pushed him away. Amber saw he was crying. That shocked her. She never saw Patrick cry a day in her life. When their parents died he just stood there in his uniform with a stone cold look on his face and shed not one tear. But now he was crying. He hugged her back again and whispered in her ear.

"Oh, God…when they called…I thought I lost you too…I could not bear to lose you, Amber." Patrick said as his tears fell on Amber's cheek. That snapped her out of her shock. Seeing her brother cry for the first time in her life gave her a jolt of reality. Of all people to shed tears over her, her strong invincible brother was afraid he would lose her and it upset him to tears. Amber started sobbing and gripping her brother tighter and ignored the pain in her ribs and face and buttocks. Patrick started stoking her hair gently and kissed her forehead and tried to pry away but Amber held him tight and would not let go. She was afraid to let go.

"Oh…Amber…shhh…its ok, baby sis…I'm here…I'm so sorry for leaving you…I'll never leave again. I promise." Amber cried harder and held him harder and muttered it was not his fault. She held him hard. She was now shocked back to the reality of what happened to her.

"Patrick…I…I want my mommy!" She cried. The cry was so full of heart wrenching anguish it made Sam's heart break to hear it.

Patrick stoked her hair and kissed her cheek, "I know, baby, I know…shhh…it's going to be fine. I am not leaving you…I promise….shhh…it's going to be ok." He comforted her as she sobbed in her arms. All the tears and emotion from the past two days poured out of her.

Sam felt tears well up in her eyes at the scene and knew to leave them alone for a while. She quietly left the room as the brother and sister hugged.

Sam came back to the room about thirty minutes later and saw Patrick sitting in the chair next to her bed holding Amber's hand. Amber had the bed up and was wiping tears from her eyes but she was giggling softly and Patrick was laughing.

"Stop…Patrick; I swear if you don't stop I am going to die. Your making my ribs hurt." Amber said through her giggles.

"Well you asked me what it was like…so I told you." Patrick looked at Sam as she came into the room. He smiled at her and it made her feel good. She wished she had an older brother like him. When Sam was walking around the hospital and finally settled in the cafeteria for a cup of coffee, she compared Patrick and Spencer. She liked them both and felt closer to Spencer since she knew him the longest. But if she had to choose an older brother it would have been Patrick. Spencer was sweet, funny, and caring while Patrick was strong, sweet, caring, and funny in a non goofy way (unlike Spencer) and just knew what to say all the time. Patrick also commanded any room he was in. People were drawn to him naturally and he was a born leader. One thing Sam did not like about him was the way he intimidated her. He was the only person she ever met that made her feel intimidated. He never tried to and was never mean or unkind to her; just the opposite. He was nothing but kind and nice to her. But she just felt intimidated in his presence and she hated that feeling. But she respected him and looked up to him.

"Here, Sam, I took you seat. Sorry." Patrick said as he started to get up. Sam waved him off and sat on the couch.

"So, what was so funny?" Sam asked.

"Oh…Patrick was telling me about Australia. Oh, he said he got me a baby kangaroo but they would not let him take it on the plane. I don't believe him, through." Amber mock pouted at Sam. Sam chuckled, _yeah but if he could I am sure he would have,_ she thought. Patrick spoiled his sister.

"Yeah and I was going to get you a croc, Sam, but they would not let me bring it either. I figured it would fit your personality better than a kangaroo. Of course I would hate to see if you got mad at it…you would be wearing crocodile skin shoes the next day." He winked at Sam who smiled and knew it was a compliment. Patrick always liked Sam. She was tough, extremely pretty, took care of herself and did not take shit from anyone. She reminded him of his boot camp drill instructors…except for the pretty part. He liked talking to her and also trying to push her buttons. He would chuckle when she got made at him and told him to fuck off. He also saw over the summer before he left how she was around Amber. Patrick saw how his sister loved the girl and it was so obvious she was in love with Sam, a feeling he could not comprehend since he had never been in love; even with his ex fiancé. While he knew Sam was tough, he also saw the softer side in Sam when Amber was around. She cared for his sister and that was important to him. She was the first person Amber dated he liked.

Due to Amber's encouragement, Patrick told other stories about living in Australia and made the two girls laugh, much to Amber's delight and pain, as he told stories of the outback when he went camping and tried to impersonate the accent and the way the people talked. Sam, much to Amber's embarrassment, told of their own camping trip. Patrick laughed hard when Sam described Amber and some of the more comical incidents that happened to her. Amber lay in the bed with her arms crossed and pouted, but her heart was filled with affection and love for both of the two other people in the room. She did not realize how much she missed him…missed _her_ family until he walked through that door.

"So…did you meet any nice girls?" Amber asked her brother.

Patrick yawned, "Umm…some…met a lot of nice girls. Now if you are asking if I meant anyone special. No."

"Why? You need to find a nice girl and settle down. I mean you are _reasonably_ attractive so I am sure there is some girl out the for you." Sam gave a snort when Amber said "reasonably attractive" and chuckled. Patrick was not a player or womanizer; he just had a fear of commitment, or so Amber always told him. Sam just thought he got bored with the girls he dated. Patrick liked excitement and to live on the edge. He did not drink or do drugs but got his rush through danger. He was not reckless, Iraq and Afghanistan made him get over that quickly and so did the death of Christopher, his best friend and Jason's older brother. But he liked the extreme. When he joined the Marines it was not good enough so he volunteered, got accepted, and qualified for the Recon Unit. Marine Recon is to the marines what the SEALS are to the navy. Their special forces unit. Patrick always had to go to the edge. Sam did not know Jason's bother, but Amber always told her they were cut from the same mold and that was why they were good friends.

Amber yawned herself and gave a moan of pain and Patrick told her to hit the morphine pump button and get some sleep. She pouted but did what he told her. He kissed her forehead and held her hand until she went to sleep. When Amber was asleep he asked Sam to step outside with him.

"Sam, I have to ask…was she…well…" He asked the blonde girl when they were outside. His eyes were the icy blue color.

"No…they did one of those rape kits and no."

Patrick sighed, "Any idea who did this and why?"

"Well…she is not saying, says she can't remember."

Patrick frowned, "I can tell you don't believe her, so do you know who did it?"

Sam nodded, "I've got a good idea." Sam explained the three girls and their torments of Amber and even some of the other things and rumors about his sister at school. Patrick frowned. Sam knew since it was girls involved he would not do anything to take matters in his own hands. She knew if it was males involved he would do something about it, but he had a code of honor and chivalry that prevented him from hurting anyone of the opposite sex. Sam saw the cold look in his eyes and shivered. She knew Patrick had seen the horrors of war in both Iraq and Afghanistan but what she did not know and could never know was what he had seen and done. Sure, Sam knew he had killed or assumed he did, but she did not know how he had to kill sometimes. He was involved in a number of covert operations that required him to kill up close and personal. Sam did not know Patrick had to kill with a knife or his bare hands.

"I never knew it was so bad for her."

"Well…she handled it well and never let it get to her…or acted like it did. I think it hurt her…the rumors and all…but she never let it show to me. Ran knew and talked to her about it I think."

"How is she doing with this? Her and Amber are very close. I surprised she is not here."

Sam looked uncomfortable, "Well…she…ummm…she had not been here. They had a falling out a few weeks ago…and…I think she is real sick too." Sam knew that was not her place.

Patrick's eyes went from the cold blue back to the sky blue quickly, "Sam, go home and get some sleep. You look terrible…cute as ever…but terrible. Come back in the morning. You need to sleep."

Sam smiled and was about to protest but for some reason she could not argue with that commanding voice, "Ok…but you need sleep as well…you look terrible…hot as ever…but terrible."

Patrick laughed and hugged the blonde and kissed her on the forehead, "Thanks, Sam, for being here. I understand the too of you well…broke up or something…but it was very kind of you to be here for her. I am glad you care for her."

Patrick handed her a set of keys, "My rental car…use it and bring it back in the morning. I guess my car is at the school." Sam took the keys and smiled. They went back into the room and she got her purse, kissed the sleeping Amber on the forehead, smiled at Patrick, and left the room. On the way down to the car guilt struck her hard. First there was the guilt with Amber and now the guilt with Patrick telling her she was kind and that he was glad she cared for his sister. _God damn it, Sam, I hope Carly is wrong and you are not doing this out of guilt but love for Amber_. She thought and could not say one hundred percent that she loved Amber.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 –** **Remember, Sam, Guilt is not Love!**

Sam heard her alarm clock buzzing for her to wake up and threw a pillow at it. _ARGH!_ _Why was it going off so early? It's Saturday!_ She thought and rolled over in her bed and fell asleep with the buzzing of her alarm still in her ears. _Fuck! Amber, the hospital, getting out today, staying with me for a while…or longer! _Sam screamed in her head as she remembered why the clock went off so early on a Saturday. She sat up in bed and looked to see what time it was but her clock was on the floor still buzzing. She rolled out of bed and looked at her clock on the floor. _Shit! I'm running late! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _ Sam quickly got dressed in a pair of jeans and long sleeve tee shirt. She took a shower when she got home last night so did not need one this morning. Sam brushed her hair and cursed that it would not do as she wanted and cursed when her stomach growled. The blonde was hungry but did not have time to eat and figured she could get something at the hospital cafeteria. Sam cursed again as she looked for the keys of Patrick's rental car and then once more as her cell phone started ringing. She grabbed her phone without looking at the caller ID and flipped it open.

"What!"

"Well good morning to you too. Let me guess, you just woke up." Said the cheerful morning voice on the other side of the phone line.

"Oh…hey, Carls, sorry I'm running late. So what's up?"

"It's ok…I know your grumpy in the morning. I know I should not have called so early, but just wanted to remind you about dinner with my dad tonight. His plane comes in today and he is only going to be in town for today and tomorrow before he gets shipped back out. Annnnd, wanted to know if you wanted to hang out and go with me to the airport to pick up dad."

_FUCK! I forgot! Double FUCK!_ Sam cursed once again in her head. "Well…I can't hang today…umm…Amber gets out of the hospital today and well, you know, she is staying here…I think…her brother came back last night…anyway I think I can make the dinner but can't go to the airport with you. Yeah…I am sure I can make the dinner. Patrick can look after Amber for a while." There was a long silence on the other end of the phone.

"Carls…Carly, you there."

"Yeah…I'm here *sniff*. You know *sniff*, don't worry about *sniff* dinner…or *sniff*…or…*sniff*…I have to go. Bye, Sam…and…and *sniff*…have fun babysitting the freak!" Carly hung up. Sam knew she was crying.

"FUUUUUUCK!" Sam yelled at the phone. She felt guilty again, but this time the guilt came from someone else. She did promise Carly weeks ago she would go to dinner with her and her dad. It was important for her and Sam wanted to be there for Carly…all the time, but guilt for Amber ate at her. "I'll just have to tell Amber I am going…I have to…Carly wants me there", Sam said aloud as she found the car keys. "Please just don't let her cry…I'll tell her with Patrick in the room…yeah. He'll calm her down."

Sam walked into the hospital room and saw Patrick was sitting on the couch watching CNN and Amber was sitting up in her bed with a tray of her breakfast in front of her. Sam was glad to see most of it was gone. Her stomach growled in hunger; Amber gave her a sad smile.

"Samantha…Patrick is being mean to me! He won't let me stay with you!" Amber pouted and glared at her brother. Sam felt a rush of relief and then guilt. Patrick looked over at Sam and then Amber

"Sorry, Sam, but I think she needs to stay at home." He said while looking at his sister. Amber huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, gave a small wince of pain, and continued pouting.

"Samantha…tell him it will be fine. Hell, I lived with you for months and you took care of me then…please tell him." Amber begged.

Sam looked at the sister and then the brother and then the sister again, "Well…maybe he is right, Amber. I mean…yeah I want you to stay with me…but I have to go back to school Monday and who will watch you while I'm at school?"

"I…I'll be fine while your at school and Patrick has to look for a job anyway…since her still will not take the job Mr. Isuel has offered again and again…and he won't be home while he is looking…please…please…let me stay with her Patrick." Amber then turned back to Sam, "Please, Samantha…I…I need _you_ to be there for me."

_FUCK!_ Sam screamed in her head as the last words got to her…_fuck! I hate guilt!_

Sam was about to give in to the guilt and back Amber's side when Patrick saved her, "Amber…no. That is final. Plus I have a job lined up already…you and I will talk about it later."

Amber pouted again, which normally worked on her brother all too well, "But…please…plus you can't make me! I'm staying with her! You can't stop me!"

Patrick smiled, "Yes I can. You are seventeen and I am your legal guardian until you are eighteen and even after you turn eighteen I am still your older brother and you will do as I tell you. Sam can visit as much as she likes and even spend the night as much as she wants…in the guest bedroom." Amber gave him a harsh look, "Now finish your breakfast, that cute nurse…Carrie…told me last night you haven't been eating." He added with a smug grin.

"Yeah she told on me just because she likes you…before you showed up _they_ _all liked me_. And for your information, Patrick, when Samantha and I lived together we did not sleep in separate bedrooms but shared a bed every night and the things we did in that bed…"

"AMBER!" Sam screamed and turned red.

"Well…he thinks I am a nun or something and…and…he is just being mean! I wish…I wish you would have never come back!" Amber screamed at her brother.

Patrick gave his boyish grin, "Yeah, yeah, yeah…finish your breakfast. Hopefully the doctor will be here soon to release you. And I want him to look at your eye again since you still can't see out of it. The other doctor said you should get sight back in a few days, but it worries me. And when we get home, you have to tell me exactly how you wrecked my car. I can't believe you thought I would be that mad at you for that." Amber's comment about him coming back did not bother him. He knew his sister all too well (even if people did not think he did) and knew she did not mean it. She could be very spoiled and was used to getting her way but he held firm.

Amber picked up a piece of bacon, "You are seventeen and I am your legal guardian until you are eighteen and even after you turn eighteen I am still your older brother and you will do as I tell you." Amber mocked her brother's voice and tone under her breath as she pouted and Sam giggled.

"Sam, you did you eat breakfast?" Patrick asked the blonde. Sam shook her head and her stomach growled. Patrick pulled out his wallet and handed her some money, "Why don't you run to that diner on the corner and get us something. I haven't eaten either. I would go but I want to be here in case doctor shows up."

Sam nodded and took the money and heard Amber fussing behind her, "That's not fair! I have to eat this awful hospital food and the two of you get g_ood_ food!" Sam laughed as she walked to the elevator. She was relieved…very relieved…that Amber was not staying with her. She did not know why she was so relieved, but she was.

Sam brought the food back and gave Patrick his breakfast and the change and sat to eat. She did not talk much and just listened and would giggle when Amber would pout and fuss at Patrick for this or that. Sam knew she was still upset about her brother not letting her stay at her house. They were waiting for the doctor; Patrick watching CNN with interest as they were reporting on the Middle East, Amber loudly flipping pages of a fashion magazine to annoy her brother, and Sam staring at the television but not really watching it. She found the news boring and suddenly realized Patrick's intense interest in the reporting. He had friends still there. Sam was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of a magazine hitting Patrick in the back of his head.

"What the hell, Amber!" He turned to his sister.

Amber glared at him, "I'm staying with Samantha! You can't stop me. I don't care if you are my _legal guardian_…you are not dad and you can't stop me!" Amber screamed at her brother.

Sam sank herself in her chair; she did not want to get in the middle of this argument even if it did concern her as well. She'd accept either decision. Her guilt told her to choose Amber's side but her heart told her to choose Patrick's. So she just sat low in her chair and waited for Amber to call her name to choose her side. Sam knew Patrick would not ask her for help. He did not need it. Plus she really wanted to spend the day with Carly and go out to dinner with her and her dad. She had not seen Carly in two days and missed her best friend already.

"Amber, we are done talking about this. You _are_ coming home." Patrick said calmly but with a commanding tone.

Amber knew she was not going to win alone and needed and ally, "Samantha, tell him. Tell him it would be better if I stayed with you. It would be better for me…to help me get better." Amber looked at Sam and the blonde looked into those green eyes and almost gave in…almost.

"Amber, you know I would love for you to stay with me, but maybe he is right. Plus I have dinner plans tonight I made weeks ago. After dinner I'll come over and…I'll stay the night."

Amber looked as if she was going to cry, "What plans? Who are you going…like I have to ask! I cannot believe you are…"

There was a knock on the door and Ran's parents walked into the room. Sam whispered a thank you to the gods for the rescue as Mr. and Mrs. Isuel walked into the room. They both saw Patrick and told him they were so happy to see him and Mrs. Isuel hugged him tight and her husband shook his hand with enthusiasm and then gave him a manly embrace.

Mrs. Isuel looked at Amber and gave her a disapproving look, "We heard the arguing in the hall. Amber, you should not fight with your brother. He came home to see you and look after you."

Amber gave Patrick a look that read, _you think you always win, but I am not done yet_. She then looked at Ran's mother with tears in her eyes and held her arms out for a hug.

"He is being mean to me. He…he…he won't let me stay with Samantha. It's just for a few days and…and she can take care of me and she wants me there. Tell them, Samantha." Amber whined as Mrs. Isuel gave her a hug. Sam noticed that Amber gave her brother a look over woman's shoulder that read, _ha…I win!_ That look changed to defeat quickly and more tears with the Korean woman's reply.

"Oh, Amber…you need to be home with your brother. Patrick is right. I am sure Sam understands."

"You always did like him better than me. You always take his side." Amber whined as she pried herself from the woman's arms.

"That is not true, dear, and you know it. You are just upset. I am glad he is home…about time…and glad he is here to take care of you. He has strength most people don't. It is good he is here."

Amber knew she lost but she had one last card to play, not to win but for revenge. "How is Ran…she is not with you?" Amber truly did not care if her former best friend was there…she did not want Ran there…or she told herself…she knew the comment would hurt Mrs. Isuel. Amber knew Ran's mother and knew the lady would be fussing with Ran to visit her friend. Just as expected Mrs. Isuel frowned and gave Amber a sad look.

"Amber, I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you what is going on with that daughter of mine, but she won't talk and hardly leaves her room and sleeps too much. I don't think she has eaten more than a nibble here and there for days. And that poor boy Jason…he keeps calling and she refuses to talk to him. He stopped by yesterday after school, Ran had yet to go back, and I allowed him to go to her room. I know it was improper, but I am worried about her, and thought it could help. I just heard her screaming at him. She said he disgusted her and never wanted to see him again and used language I never knew she could use. I thought he…well…made her do something she did not want to do." She looked at her husband and then leaned closer to Amber and whispered in her ear, "But I know Ran is not a virgin so it could not be that." She leaned back, "I am worried about her."

Amber gave Mrs. Isuel another hug to show her concern for Ran but she was smiling on the inside about Ran's suffering. _Ok…I feel guilty about hurting Mrs. Isuel…but damn Ran!_

Mr. Isuel said something to his wife in Korean and she replied in the same language. Patrick surprised Sam when he answered back in the same language. Mrs. Isuel smiled at him and said in English, "That would be very kind of you. She always looked up to you."

Amber rolled her eyes, she did not understand what was said, but somehow she knew they asked Patrick to try and talk to their daughter. _Like hell he will! He is my brother, not that fucking bitch's!_ Amber thought with a fake sad smile of sympathy on her face for Ran. She almost forgot Patrick spoke Korean…and Spanish, French, German, and could work his way through a conversation in Italian and Farsi. He had a knack with languages. Amber never did understand why he choose the military over college. He was very intelligent and could have gone to a number of colleges. He didn't make outstanding grades in high school like she did; he made average grades. He could have done a lot better but he said school bored him and so did studying. When she was packing some of their parents things weeks after they died, Amber came across her brother's SAT scores and they were very high, not as high as hers but close. Amber asked him how come he scored so well on them but not regular school tests. Patrick just gave her his boyish grin and said with his SAT's he had something to prove to someone and in school her could car less how her was graded by his teachers. He did not have to prove anything to them. He spent most of his time in detention with Christopher. They were infamous for the pranks they pulled. Their pranks and jokes were not cruel or hurtful, like some of Sam's had been her first year or two…or three, but more in fun. The two boys even had more than a few teachers laughing and admiring their pranks…after they gave the boys detention of course. Amber could remember Patrick and her dad arguing when she was little. They would fight over his grades and his detention and his pranks. To Amber they got along fine and had a lot of father and son bonding camping trips, but their dad really wanted him to grow up and go to college. He had been hard on Patrick.

After Amber sighed and agreed to go home instead of Sam's, Patrick asked Sam to give the Isuel's time with Amber and wanted to know if he could by her a cup of coffee. Sam agreed, she wanted to get out of the room and hoped Amber would forget about where the conversation was going before Ran's parents showed up. Patrick and Sam made some small talk on the way to the hospital cafeteria and he got them both some coffee and cream for her and they found a table. Sam smiled when she saw some of the nurses look at Patrick add frown at her in envy. Patrick surprised her with the conversation he started after they sat down.

"Look, Sam, I like you…a lot, but don't let Amber manipulate you." Sam gave him a curious look and he chuckled, "I love my sister a great deal…maybe too much…but I also know her a great deal. She is very charming and sweet and a great person, but she can use that charm to get what she wants. I…well…I could tell you were relieved when I told her she was going home and not to your house."

Sam sank into her chair, _Great…just fucking great! I am going to get lectured by Amber's brother_, "Patrick, it is not that I did not want her to stay with me…I just promised a friend…my best friend Carly Shay…I would meet her and her dad for dinner tonight. He's in the navy and this is the first time she had seen him in years. And well…I like him and it would be great to see him."

Patrick smiled, "You should have told Amber. I am sure she'll understand."

Sam fidgeted in her chair, "Well…ummm…the problem is that Amber and Carly just don't get along that well. Hell, they can't stand one another. Patrick, Carly and I have been best friends for years…a lot of years…and I can't just throw that away. I care for Amber, a lot, but Carly also means a lot to me. I…" She stopped when Patrick held up his hands and chuckled.

"Its ok…calm down, girl…I understand. I would not choose a girl over my best friend either and I hope my sister would not make anyone choose her over a best friend. But, Sam, you need to tell her…not just about your plans with Carly, but about the other thing…don't give me that look…you know what I am talking about. I know you care about Amber, but, Sam, you don't love her do you?"

Sam sighed, "I…I don't know and it's driving me crazy. Patrick…I…I feel terrible. The night this happened to Amber, well…she called me and left a voice mail asking me to pick her up. Amber and I were not dating…we kind of broke up…and…I…I…was with Carly, and no Carly is not gay…we are just friends. Anyway after I checked the voice mail Carly said I could borrow her car to get Amber and I…," Sam started to cry at this point. Not sobbing but just tears running down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes and looked embarrassed, "Sorry…I hate crying and hate it worse when people see me…anyway, I didn't go get her. If I did…this would not have happened to her. It…it's my fault and I feel so fucking guilty. I care about your sister and maybe I do love her…but I am not one hundred percent sure."

Patrick took her hand and held it, "Sam, you listen to me…it is not your fault. It happened and you could not change that. I am not a religious man but I will tell you this, when God wants something bad to happen it is going to happen. So if it did not happen that night it would have been another. Don't let the guilt eat at you, Sam…trust me…_I know_ how guilt can eat at you and make you try to put things right all to well. That can drive you mad…don't let it eat at you, ok. No one blames you."

Sam let it sink in and she appreciated his words but she still did not know what to do with Amber or her feelings for the girl.

"Sam, you know I'm fond of you…but don't hurt my sister." It was not a threat, "I love her a great deal, and I just ask you to be honest with her. I am not asking you to love her or not talk to her again or not see her anymore. That is between you and her. Just be honest with her. She deserves that. She is not like us, Sam. She is not strong like you and I." Having Patrick compare her to him made her feel…well…proud, "Amber did not take the death of out parents very well and I think she still has yet to let go of them or that pain. She thinks if she lets go she will forget them. She was much closer to them than I was…She was especially close to our mother. Dad spoiled her and adored her of course, but her and mom had something special. It was amazing to see them together. Don't get me wrong, when she had to mom could lay down the law, but her and Amber were very close. All I am asking is just be honest…ok?" Sam nodded, "And don't let her manipulate you. She knows how and sometimes she does it without even knowing she does it. My mom used to do the same to me when she wanted me to stop fighting with dad." He added with a chuckle, "She was a master of it and Amber learned from her." He stood up. Sam followed his motion and him back to Amber's room. When they got on the elevator he shocked her again.

"Sam, your friend Carly…is her father Commander Charles Shay?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah…how did you know?"

Patrick smiled as the elevator doors opened, "When you see him tonight, tell him that Marine Staff Sergeant who pulled him and his men's asses out of that mess they got themselves into in the Kunar Province in Afghanistan said hello." He stepped off the elevator and Sam wondered just what the hell did Patrick do while in the Marines.

Amber was still pouting when they got back into the room and two doctors were with her now. One was checking her eye and the other was filling out her release papers and writing her prescriptions for antibiotics and pain killers. The eye doctor checked he latest x-rays and looked at her eye and told her she should start to get her normal sight back in a week at the latest. It would come back blurry at first and then slowly get back to normal. They released her and wheeled her down to Patrick's rental car an hour later. Mrs. Isuel stopped by Amber and Patrick's home before they got to the hospital and got her some clothes to wear for when she got released. Patrick picked her up and placed her in the car like a child and Sam got in the back seat. The first thing Amber did when she got in the car was look at the vanity mirror on the visor. She had not seen herself in days. She looked and burst into tears.

Her eyes was still covered by the bandage but the bruise still showed ugly and black around the bandage, her lip was still swollen and also bandaged and still stitched. Her face had three long finger nail scratches on her right side that ran from her cheek to her chin and she had other bruises and marks on her face and neck. On her forehead was a large purple and black bruise when her head was slammed into the toilet seat. The doctors assured her she would not have any permanent scares and Patrick and Sam told her they would go away, but to Amber she would always look the way he did now. Sam reached up and placed her hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her. Amber grabbed it and held it tight the entire ride home. When they got home, Patrick carried her to her room and gently laid her on the bed. Sam sat on the edge of the bed next to her and Amber grabbed her and hugged her tight.

"Stay with me, Samantha…please don't leave me. I love you so much…I need you. I…I…I'm not cute anymore."

Sam stoked her hair and avoided Patrick's sad stare, "I'm here, baby, I'm here and you are beautiful."

Amber smiled at Sam, "Please stay with me…hold me and never let me go."

Patrick cleared his throat, "Sam could you stay with her while I go get her prescriptions. Also my car is ready and I need to pick it up and I need to call Byung to take me to drop off the rental and pick up my car. It should not be long."

Sam nodded and was about to tell Patrick it was not a problem but Amber spoke first, "She'll stay and she is spending the night…in my bed…hell I can't do anything anyway…as much as I want to…right, Samantha?"

Patrick spoke first, "Just watch her for me, Sam, I appreciate it. You know you can stay as long as you want to…you are always welcome here…but if you have important plans tonight you don't have to stay. I'll be home."

Sam was getting pissed people were making her mind up for her; "I'll stay and go to dinner and come back." She glanced at Amber who gave her a sad look. Patrick smiled and left the room after he gave Sam his cell number just in case.

"So you are ummm…going out with Carly?" She asked the blonde.

"Look, Amber…I promised her weeks ago. Her dad is going to be in town and hell…I like him and want to see him. So yeah I am going. I'll stay with you for a while and some back tonight."

"You don't have to come back if you don't want to. I…I just need you. Patrick can't be here for me like you can. I need you to help me…I…I have terrible nightmares about what happened…and…please come back to sleep with me." Amber begged. She was having nightmares, but she did not know Sam knew about them. Sam would hear her begging in her sleep. Begging unnamed people to stop beating her and willing to do anything for them to stop hurting her. Amber did not know Sam knew, all she wanted was for Sam to love her and she would do anything to get her to love her again.

"I promise." Sam said and leaned down and kissed Amber's forehead but Amber grabbed her shoulders and kissed her lips gently. Her bottom lip hurt when she did, but she did not care. She had to feel those wonderful soft lips on hers. Sam kissed her back gently and she felt herself being pulled down.

"Samantha…I'm kind of sleepy…lay with me and hold me…not to tight…until I fall asleep. Please…I want to feel you next to me."

Sam lay next to her and hugged her carefully and felt Amber grab her hand and pull it to her chest, "I love you, Samantha. Tell me you love me…please."

"I love you Amber…Amber…I need to tell you I'm sorry about what happened that night I came over when I…well you know."

Amber smiled, "Its ok, baby, I…well…it _was_ great sex…and…you can always use me like that…just love me too. Samantha am I still cute…I mean now…do you think I'm cute?"

Sam kissed the back of her head, "You are so beautiful, Amber."

Amber smiled and quickly fell asleep due to the pain killer the doctor gave her before they left the hospital.

Sam got up and called Carly and left her a voice mail asking to call her back and she would really like meet her for dinner. She hoped Carly was not ignoring her call. Ten minutes later her phone rang and it was Carly.

"Hey, Carls…ummm…is that invite still good?"

"Of course silly, want me to pick you up or meet us there?"

"Pick me up…umm…at Amber's. Here let me give you the address." Sam gave Carly the address.

"So I take it she is home? How is the little whore…I mean slut…I mean girl." Carly asked sarcastically.

"Carly, please don't. I don't like it when you call her names, so please stop...for me. As far as how she is doing I will tell you. She had a severe concussion, a cracked rib and several bruised ones, six stitches in her lip, and an eye so fucking busted up she can't see out of and it is going to take a week or so for her to get her sight back. So that is how she is doing and if you are the person _I know you_ to be you would have some fucking compassion for her. They did not just kick the shit out her pretty bad, they tortured her, Carly. They made her do things she won't even talk about but I heard the nurses talking the first night. They made her do terrible things and when she sleeps I hear her begging them to stop. She is so afraid of them and that they may come after her again she refuses to tell the police who did it and she knows…I know she knows who did it and so do I. And I am going to get justice for her…trust me. So that is how she if fucking doing and I am serious, not another word like that about her. If you truly care then ask, but if you are just asking to be mean, stop!"

There was a pause before she replied, "Sam…I didn't know it was that bad…I…well…I'm sorry for her…I really am. And I'm sorry for the way I acted. And don't you do anything stupid! I mean it!"

"Well you know now. Hmm…what time are you going to pick me up and where are we going?"

"Oh…six thirty, our reservation are at seven thirty at "Natalia's" so dress nice." "Natalia's" was a very upscale expensive restaurant in the city.

"Oh shit! I don't have anything to wear? You got my house key right? Do me a favor and pick up that blue dress for me."

"Oh I like that one…the one you used when you tried to seduce me." Carly giggled.

"Carly! Stop!" Sam chuckled.

"I'll get it and a sweater and some shoes to. See ya later…and Sam…if she…well…if _you_ need anything let me know. Seriously, k."

"Ok, Carls…see ya later."

Sam closed her cell and walked back into Amber's room and saw the girl twitching in her sleep and mumbling. Sam listened to her mumbles were pleas; pleas like "Please no more. Please it hurts. Please not that. Please I'll do anything just don't hurt me anymore." Sam sighed sadly and took off her jeans and lay in the bed. She put her arms gently around Amber and the girl stopped twitching and mumbling her pleas. Instead she mumbled, "I love you Samantha…please never leave me again." Sam sighed, _Oh fuck…what am I doing! She needs me but God help me…I don't think I love her._

Carly hung up the phone and seriously felt bad about what she said about Amber. She truly had not realized how bad Amber got beat up. Of course Carly knew who did it, hell the whole school knew but they needed proof and Amber was the only proof they had and from what Sam said she is not talking. Carly could not blame her, she would be scared too and she thought another reason Amber was not saying anything is because she did not want to relive the incident. Carly wouldn't have. Sam was different than her and Amber. Sam was emotionally and physically tougher and while she would not have told the police, she would have gotten justice her own way. That worried Carly as well. Sam would want justice for Amber and it scared Carly what she would do. Carly loved her best friend a great deal…she was still confused on how, but loved her nevertheless; but she also knew Sam better than anyone including Amber. Carly knew Sam could be mean and do terrible things and seriously hurt someone if she wanted to and not feel guilty about it for one second. Carly was afraid Sam would do something drastic, she knew the girl's temper, and she would get kicked out of school or even put in jail.

Yeah, the school knew who beat up Amber in the bathroom that evening and Carly had proof...in a way. She found out at school the previous day when Maria was laughing and making fun of Amber getting beat up, Carly actually approached her in the bathroom and the Cuban girl laughed at Carly and said yes she and Tiffany and Kiesha did it and "the little dyke cunt better be glad we didn't do worse and if you tell anyone your next." Carly was not really afraid of the girl until Sam explained what they did to Amber in more detail. She had a decision to make and it revolved around protecting herself or helping a girl she hated. Carly was glad her father was home, he would know what to do.

**A/N -Most readers love the character Amber, as I do, but the next few chapters will show she also can manipulate (very well) and even hate with the best of them. She is a seventeen year old girl after all.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 20 –** **The tale of Two loves, by Sam Puckett**

Carly dropped Sam off at Amber's apartment around one in the morning and the blonde thought of how much fun she had at dinner and then just hanging out at Carly's place afterwards with her best friend and her best friend's dad as she rode the elevator to Amber's top floor unit. Dinner was very nice and of course Sam liked Carly's dad the few times she met him. He looked very handsome in his white naval uniform and Sam wondered why he never remarried after Carly's mom died and even asked him. He just laughed and said his career made it almost impossible to meet woman. Carly pouted and said she should have a step mother and the two girls spent a good portion of the night teasing Captain Shay about women they could introduce him to. Carly even mentioned it was a shame Sam's mother was remarried and Sam laughed and said she liked Carly's dad too much to do that to him. It was a fun time. Sam did remember to tell him about Patrick's hello and comment right before she left. Captain Shay chuckled, mentioned it was a small world, told Sam in a mock haughty tone to let that Marine Staff Sergeant know that the Commander was now a Captain, and he and his men were doing just fine before the marines showed up. He asked Sam how he knew the man and she told him about how she knew Patrick. Mr. Shay told her he did recall the man mentioning he was from Seattle and they talked a little about each other. The Captain mentioned he would clean up the mess they made with their ice cream and cake while Carly drove Sam home. Sam sighed as she got to the door of Amber's place. _Please let her be asleep…please let her be asleep_, she begged in her mind and unlocked the door and walked in.

Carly dropped Sam off and felt anger and jealousy as she thought Sam should be spending the night with her and not that bitch. Sure Carly felt pity for Amber after what happened, but that does not mean she still has to like the girl. She was going to talk to her dad about what she needed to do. Carly was happy her dad was home, even for just a short period. She got excited he mentioned he would retire in a couple of years. She then remembered Sam's comment about Amber's brother knowing her father and was determined to find out about that. The tall pretty brunette thought about the young man in the picture that Sam had in her wallet at times. Carly felt herself blush a little as she thought how she thought of Patrick when she used her small vibrator on herself at night. Her thoughts would flash to him and then Sam and then sometimes the two of them ravishing her at the same time. She always felt guilty over that particular fantasy…after her orgasm.

Carly got home as was glad to see her dad still up. He was sitting on the couch waiting to make sure she got home safe.

"Well, now that you are home safe and sound, I'm off to bed." He said and kissed his daughter's forehead.

"Umm…dad, got a minute? I need to ask you something…really important." Carly said as she sat down.

"Sure, kiddo, what is it?" He asked and sat next to her and pulled her close to him.

"Well…two things…how do you know Amber St. Claire's brother…Patrick…right? How do you know him?" She asked with interest.

"Well that is a long story and some things I can't tell you, but I will tell you what I can. I never really told you what I did in the navy…I never wanted to because I did not want you to worry. But with me retiring in a couple of years and me getting to old to do those things again I am going to be stationed on a nice safe base in Europe so I can tell you without you worrying. Spencer knew but he promised to never tell you. Anyway…I was part of a SEAL Team…the Team Leader…for a while and we had to pull missions that…well you've seen the movies. While not very realistic you get the idea of what the SEALS do." Carly nodded and looked at her dad. She had no idea his life was so dangerous. Her dad continued, "My team was on a mission in the Kunar Province and we ran into some trouble…a lot of trouble. We were badly outnumbered and getting our asses handed to us…forgive the language. We called for air support but due to the mission being covert we could not get it. They said they were going to send in another team to pull was out. Well it ended up being a Marine Recon Team…similar to the SEALS…and apparently the team leader was Sam's friend's brother. He and his team got to us after they…well I don't want to go into all the terrible details, let's just say they made the enemy retreat and pulled us out of a mess. He even took some shrapnel from a RPG and I went to see him in the hospital to thank him and his men and we talked and found out we were both from Seattle. Like I said…small world." He sighed and smiled, "Yeah…he saved our bacons that day."

He turned to Carly and she was looking at him like she never had before. A mixture of pride and fear, "Dad…I guess I'm glad you never told me…I would have been terrified for you all this time. A little pissed as well…but…I'm glad. I had no idea. I thought you just got to ride around on boats all these years."

Her dad laughed, "They're called ships, honey, and I am glad to see you thought so highly of my job. So what was the next thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well…it's kind of a dilemma I am in…" Carly explained the entire situation and even included her hate relationship with Amber.

"Well, honey, I can't tell you what to do, but I know you. You will do the right thing. And you and this girl…Amber…don't get along huh? And she is dating Sam…well that's tough."

Carly made a mean face, "We hate one another…goes way back and she is just…Sam does not love her and Amber is just manipulating her to make her love her. That is wrong!" Carly said with venom.

Her dad laughed, "Well Sam is a grown girl and can figure it out her self…but the choice is yours and again, I know my daughter and know she is a good person. Well I'm off to bed. My flight leaves at ten. And no do not need a ride, I am taking a shuttle. Night, hun." He kissed his daughter on her cheek and went to bed.

Carly sat on the couch after he went to bed, _Damn! Double Damn!_ She cursed in her mind and knew what she was going to do.

Sam walked into the apartment and heard the television and knew it would be Patrick. She walked into the living room and saw him sitting on the couch watching an old black and white movie and drinking a beer. He glanced up when he saw her and gave a small jump.

"Damn, girl, scared me. How did you get in anyway? And you look nice…never seen you in a dress before." He asked and put the beer on the coffee table.

Sam dangled a set of keys and smiled, "Amber gave me a key a while back. So she asleep and thanks." Sam said and sat next to Patrick.

"Yeah…been asleep…thank God…I was getting tired of her complaining about you and your dinner. Thank the doctor for the pain pills…they knock her out. So have fun?"

Sam chuckled, "Yeah…had a great time. Hope you weren't waiting up for me." She picked up his beer and took long sip. "Thought you did not drink?"

Patrick gave her a look and took the beer from her hands and placed it back on the table, "Well I don't. Just a beer now and again when I like to relax. Never more than one or two. And _you_ are too young to drink so hands off. And no I was not waiting up for you. I have better things to do with my time."

Sam smiled at him, "Yeah, yeah, yeah…I don't really...drink. Just like the taste sometimes. So what we watchin?"

Patrick gave her another look, "I am watching an old movie…one of my favorites…I don't know what you are watching or doing besides annoying me."

Sam smiled and picked up the beer again only to have Patrick take it from her hands and give her another annoying look. Sam chuckled again, "Hey Patrick…can I ask you something?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No! It is kind of silly and well…maybe stupid…so can I?"

Patrick sighed, "Go ahead since I don't have a choice."

Sam started shifting her dress and looking uncomfortable, "Well…umm..Patrick, do you think I am pretty?"

Patrick looked at her with shock on hic face, "Well…damn Sam…I…look maybe…"

Sam laughed, "Relax, dude, I'm not flirting with you…but if I had known it would make you uncomfortable I would have done it a long time again…you should see your face! Anyway…do you. I mean…well…Carly tells me I am and Amber always tells me but they…well…Amber is very biased and Carly is my best friend so she does not count. I…I want to know how guys see me. Ran's dad said I was and Carly's dad tells me the same…but do regular guys…like you I mean."

Patrick smiled, "Sam, I think you are a very lovely girl. You are very pretty…and 'regular boys' think the same way. Yeah, you are a very pretty girl. Why ask? You seem like it never bothered you before what people thought of you."

"Just curious…well…look, Patrick…I am not used to talking about shit like this, but…fuck…sorry…it's just that…"

Patrick chuckled, "Relax, Sam, you can ask me almost anything. So why so concerned now?"

Sam sighed, "It is not just now…I mean…*sigh*…Ok, sometimes I wonder how other people see me. I know what they think of me, you know, Sam Puckett…mean, tough, likes to fight and wins, bad ass bitch…stuff like that…oh yeah butch dyke thrown in there as well. I just wonder how people who don't know me see me. Do they look at me and know right away about me or do they see something…well…sometimes I want people to see me as a girl…God I can't believe I said that! But…I don't know…look at your sister. I mean, damn she is so beautiful…I know you're her brother, but even you have to admit that…and she is so graceful…as long as sports are not involved…and…I don't know…she is so girlie and classy…that's it…she has class. And my friend Carly is the same way…not as girlie as Amber but has class. And…well…I don't and it bugs me sometimes. I ask myself why would a girl like Amber would want to date me. Hell she asked me out! And then why a girl like Carly would want to be my best friend. Sure we met when we were like six, but she stayed by my side and my best friend all theses years. Yeah we had some differences but I always thought of her as my best friend. Fuuuuck…I don't know…maybe I am just so sleepy I am rambling on."

Patrick put his arm around Sam and pulled her to him, "Sam its ok if you want to be more feminine at times. I'll tell you what I saw when I first met you…I saw a very beautiful blonde _girl_. And yeah I know Amber is well…Amber. She is pretty, feminine, and charming…but that is her. Plus my mom had a lot to do with it. My mom was one of those classic Southern ladies. Pretty, feminine, charming, and graceful…just like Amber. Except she was emotionally tough…like you…and she gave and taught Amber those things, except her toughness…and Amber learned from her and well…she has always been a girlie girl as you put it. I remember when she was like four or five and we would be constantly late for places because she insisted on trying to do her own hair and it would not turn out right…or so she thought." He smiled and Sam found herself snuggling close to him in a sisterly way. She liked the feeling of pretending he was her older brother. Patrick even held her tighter, "Sam, I don't know your friend Carly, but I know Amber and you mentioned why they choose to either date you or be your friend, well ask yourself that same question but in a different way. Why did they choose you? They see something in you that you don't see in yourself. Don't change you for other people. If you want to change for you then by all means do so, but not for somebody who does not truly give a damn for you. And, Sam, you do have class…a lot of class."

Sam pried herself from Patrick's arms and kissed his cheek, "Thanks…I…well…thanks. Guess I'm going to bed…unless you want to sit up and get drunk…no?...Well night then." She grinned at him and then gave her a questioning look.

"Yeah, go ahead. I was just teasing about sleeping in her bed anyway."

Sam gave him an evil smile over her shoulder as she walked up the small flight of stairs to Amber's room, "Hey, Patrick?"

"Yeah." He answered without looking at her.

"I like me the way I am and just asked you that to find something out."

"What was that?"

"Oh…I just knew you had the hots for me all this time and wanted you to admit it…but I am just not into boys…sorry." She laughed when she heard him chuckle and quietly walked into Amber's room, took off her clothes, and got into bed. She felt Amber scoot closer to her as she fell asleep still not knowing what she was going to do about the girl next to her.

Around two the next Afternoon, Sam told Amber she had to go home and do some things around her house. Not a total lie. She did want to clean up a little and get some clothes; she got used to the place being clean when Amber lived there, and get her mail. Truth was, she was getting annoyed with Amber. First she had a major pouting fit when she saw Sam had worn the blue dress out with Carly. A dress she brought the blonde and never wore when she asked her to. Sam tried to explain they went to a fancy restaurant and had to dress up, but Amber would just go on and on in her passive aggressive way about it. Then there was the fact Amber kept telling Sam how much she loved her and asking the blonde over and over to tell her she loved her to. It was driving Sam crazy and she had to get out of there before she snapped and jumped out the window. Amber of course pouted when Sam told her she was leaving, but Patrick stepped in when he got back from the store and told Amber to give the other girl a break to which Amber screamed at her brother asking why he ever had to come back. It got so bad Patrick even asked Sam to take him with her. Sam laughed and took the bus home.

Patrick was in the kitchen marinating some pork chops for his and Amber…and maybe Sam if she came back…dinner he was going to grill when the door buzzer went off. He knew it was not Sam since she had a key and _obviously _felt she could come and go as she pleased. Amber was taking one of her pain pill induced naps and he was looking for a little bit of piece from her. He loved his little sister dearly and knew how she could be at times, but lately it was so much worse. She never acted this spoiled, this needy, this manipulative in the past. He felt it had to do with Sam being there out of guilt. He could see through it and knew the blonde girl no longer loved his sister. He was sad for Amber but also knew she was wrong to try and guilt Sam into loving her. He also thought it was wrong that Sam would not step up and get over her guilt and tell Amber the truth before it got to out of control. He sighed, _yeah and this from someone who has never been in love and has no fucking clue what those two are going through relationship wise_. _Hell girls are hard enough to figure out alone and God help us when we have two that are dating one another._ Patrick washed his hands and went to get the intercom and told the person to come on up without asking who it was. Two minutes later the doorbell rang and the young man opened it to find an extremely beautiful girl of seventeen or eighteen standing there fidgeting. She was taller than most girls her age and had long thick black hair and healthy ivory colored skin. She looked at Patrick and he noticed how lovely her dark eyes were. So haunting and mysterious looking; he liked those eyes. _Nice legs too_, he noted when he saw her long legs sticking out from under her short jean skirt.

"Umm…hey…yeah…Hi…I'm Carly…Carly Shay. Your Amber's brother right?" She asked in a very pleasant voice and stuck out her hand while she stared at him.

Patrick grinned and thought it was very cute and shook it, "Yes, Patrick St. Claire. Nice to meet you, Carly, your Sam's friend, right?"

Carly held her breath when he took her hand and felt like she was going to melt. The man who entered her sexual fantasies on occasion…well more than occasional…was staring at her with a very adorable boyish grin on his face. Carly stood the frozen for a moment as she looked into those wonderful blue eyes and stood there smiling like a village idiot. She was snapped out of it when he cleared his throat.

"Umm…can I have my hand back now?"

"Oh…damn sorry. Umm yeah, I'm Carly…damn I said that huh…nice to meet you, Patrick." She could have kicked herself a dozen times. She was so nervous about being there. First she was there to talk to a girl she hated and second her super hot brother had to be there as well. And to top it all off this man in front of her could possibly have saved her fathers life.

"Sam's not here. She left a while ago and went home for a bit. She may be back later…I was going to call her in a few."

"Oh…well…I'm here to see Amber. If I may, I would like to speak with her for a moment." Carly said very formally and finally got a hold of her self.

"Sure, I think she may be asleep through. I can check and…"

"Paaaatriick! Who is it? If it's one of my friends you be nice to them! If it is one of my girlfriends I hope you are wearing a shirt…I hate when they act all stupid and drool over you." Patrick smiled at the voice screaming from the bedroom. Carly smiled and blushed…_apparently_ _I'm not the only one who thinks he's hot_.

"Well guess she's awake. Come in and excuse me while I yell back." He smiled and motioned for her to come in the house.

"It's Carly…Carly Shay! She said she needs to talk to you!" Carly giggled.

"Oh shit! Wait a minute!" Carly and Patrick heard Amber yell back and then heard a loud thump from the room as if someone fell. Carly giggled again but sobered up when she saw a look of concern flash across Patrick's face. She was glad he did not see her giggle. Then they heard from the room, "Damn, damn, damn…I'm ok…just give me a minute!"

Patrick smiled at Carly, "She needs a minute. Care for something to drink?"

Amber was in bed awake from her nap for about an hour and idly listening to Patrick rummage around the kitchen humming some stupid song. She was still mad at him for taking Sam's side about the blonde leaving. She wanted Sam to stay with her. She even told her girlfriend her brother would go get her clothes and other essentials. Sam laughed and said there was no way he was going to touch her panties, plus she knew she was going to get her period soon and needed to get her more feminine things. Amber gave in, she had no choice, but she was not happy with her brother. Or her self. She knew what she was doing. She was trying to guilt Sam into staying with her. She was manipulating the blonde to love her again. Amber knew it was wrong, but she felt it would make Sam love her again so it would be ok. She knew if Sam stayed she would love her like she used to and if she had to use guilt or manipulation she would. She was going to get Sam back and soon Sam would forget about that bitch Carly Shay. Amber felt she could live with the guilt of her actions when Sam loved her once more. She heard the door buzzer and a few minutes later she heard the door bell and Patrick talking to someone…someone female. She knew it was not Sam because Sam had the door code and a key and would just walk in. At first she thought it was Ran and excitement ran through her and it was soon replaced with hate. She did not want to see her former friend…or so she told herself. She sat up in the bed.

"Paaaatriick! Who is it? If it's one of my friends you be nice to them! If it is one of my girlfriends I hope you are wearing a shirt…I hate when they act al stupid and drool over you." Amber giggled, she liked embarrassing her friends when it came to her brother, plus it embarrassed him as well and she was still mad at him.

"It's Carly…Carly Shay! She said she needs to talk to you!" Amber's good eye went wide. "Oh shit! Wait a minute!" She threw the blanket off her. _What is that bitch doing here to see me? Oh God…I look like hell…of all people to come see me looking like this it has to be her! Hell…my legs are not even shaved…thank God she can't see that!_ Amber thought as she got out of bed slowly. She was going to try and make it to the bathroom and at least brush her hair and put on some type of makeup. _Oh God, Oh God…why her_! Anyone else and she would not have cared this much…or none at all. Normally she would but she had a wonderful excuse to look bad but…_but Carly Shay…dear God…why her?" _Even looking her best, Amber thought she could never look as good as Carly did when that girl looked her worse. She was the only person that made Amber feel inferior. Amber got out of bed to fast and tripped over her blanket. It hurt her ribs when she fell, but she did not care. She had to make herself look better when Carly came into the room. _And knowing my mean brother, he'll bring her in just so he can see me squirm. _

"Damn, damn, damn…I'm ok…just give me a minute!" She yelled and winced in pain as she got up. She made it to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and brushed her hair, yelping in pain as the brush hit the still swollen knot where Maria kicked her, which caused her concussion, and then threw the brush into the sink. _ARRRRGH! Why does it matter…she is going to walk in all perfect and smug anyway!_ She crawled back into bed and brought the covers up to her chin. "Patrick…she can come in!" She yelled.

A few seconds Carly entered the room and Amber sighed, _Yeah…perfect! _She took note of how Carly's hair naturally fell across her shoulders and a few locks fell across her front to slightly cover her breasts in a sexy way. She was wearing a short jean skirt and simple light red sweater and a pair of black boots. _I HATE HER! _Amber screamed in her head but gave her most charming smile, which hurt her lip terribly, as Patrick led Carly into the room. He gave her a look that read _be nice_ and left the two girls alone. Amber smiled smugly as she noticed Patrick did not give Carly a second look but Carly's eyes followed her brother's form until her was out of her vision. _Ha! And he did not even look twice at you, bitch…not as perfect as you thought you were huh? _She giggled in her head.

Carly brought her attention back to Amber and noticed her look and blushed, "Your ummm…brother seems umm nice."

"Yeah I real peach." Amber replied sarcastically, "To many girlfriends through…God I get tired of them calling me and crying about how he broke their hearts or used them just for sex…all the time." Amber lied…_there was no way you are going to get your claws in my brother, bitch!_

Carly frowned a little at that and Amber laughed manically in her mind, "So…what brings you to the devils den, Carly Shay?"

Carly looked at Amber and got her first real look at the girl. _Oh my God…what did they do to her? That poor girl…that poor poor girl!_ She knew for the first time she was making the right choice in why she came to see her rival. Amber saw the look on her face.

"Yeah…looks bad…but I'll live so don't get your hopes up. Again, what brings you here? Come to make fun of the freak? Maybe take a few pictures and pass them around at school so you jerk friends can laugh at me too?"

Carly looked at the floor. "Look, Amber…you know as well as I do it wasn't easy for me to come here but I did come here for a reason..."

"Well that reason is not here. She may be back later, but not now." Amber interrupted. _Yeah I can be a bitch…but better to start than allow her to get the upper hand. My house, my rules, bitch!_

"Damn it, Amber…this is not about Sam! Please listen to me…ok?"

Amber heard the tome of Carly's voice and her bitchy attitude melted a little. The girl sounded a little upset and sincere. She nodded.

"Ok…sorry about that…anyway first I am sorry about what happened…real sorry. I never wanted to see you hurt…like this…and sorry. Second is…Amber…you have to tell the police! I know you know, Sam knows, and so do I. I know who did it…hell the whole school knows…" Carly explained her bathroom encounter with Maria. "…so you have to. I called them…the police…and they told me without your testimony there was nothing they could do. It would be just hearsay with me. But if you and I both tell them, there is a great chance they could convict them. Amber, you have to. Don't let them get away with it."

Amber turned her head, "I don't remember anything. I told the police. Sorry and thank you…but I don't remember. You can leave now."

"Amber…please…they cannot get away with it…"

"Why do you fucking care? Why? Does it make you feel noble to come into the room of a girl you hate and who hates you and act like St. Carly Shay of Seattle? Does it? I said I don't remember!" Amber yelled and started to cry.

"Amber…I'm sorry. I was not acting noble or saintly. It was…is the right thing to do. If you don't say something, Sam is going to take matters in her own hands…you know that." Amber looked back at Carly with tears in her eyes. "I have known Sam a lot longer than you…"

"Well I know her intimately." Amber shot back.

Carly sighed, not going the way she wanted, "Amber, I am not here to discuss who she likes better or who she loves more. Yeah, you know her in ways I never will, but I know her in a way you never will either. I know what she is capable of even if you refuse to believe it. If the police don't arrest those girls, Sam will do something terrible to them. Something so bad she could get arrested for. I know you don't want that."

Amber wiped her good eye, "No…but…sorry, Carly, I don't remember."

"Damn it, Amber, why? Why are you being so stubborn about it!"

Amber's eyes flashed in anger and she sat up in the bed, "What do you know? Where you in that bathroom that night? Did they…whoever they were…beat you to the point you thought they were going to kill you or to the point you wished they would just to make the pain and humiliation stop? Were you the one they…they…they made do things willingly just hoping they would stop? Were you the one begging them and telling them you would do anything if they would please just stop hurting you? No! I said I don't remember! Even if I did, what good would it do? They would hire a hotshot attorney and get off on some legal bullshit and then they would come back for me! And all I get out of it is having to relive what they did to me in front of a room full of strangers! I can't do that!" Amber lay back on her pillow and turned her head, "I'll talk to Samantha…and you too…she won't do anything if we both talk to her. Now I'm getting tired so could you please leave."

Carly sighed, "Sure…we'll talk to her and I hope she listens." She opened the door and turned around one more time to face Amber, "Why do you hate me so much? We never liked one another for a number of reasons. But when did that turn into such hate between us?"

Amber looked at her, "When you tried to take Samantha away from me. When did you start hating me so much?"

Carly looked at her, "Amber guilt is not love…remember that and to answer your question, I started hating you when you _did_ take Sam away from me." She left the room and gently closed the door behind her. Carly was so mad she did not even stop and say goodbye to Amber's brother and left the apartment. She got into her car and slammed her hands on the steering wheel. "GOD I HATE THAT BITCH!" She screamed aloud.

Amber lay in her bed after Carly left and threw her pillow at the door. Amber knew Carly was right about two things, Sam would want revenge and she could go to drastic measures and second…guilt was not love and Amber knew what she had to do…and it took Carly Shay to make her see it. "GOD I HATE THAT BITCH!" She screamed at the door. She looked at her pain pills debated if she should take one. She decided not to since she was not in much pain and she hated the way they made her feel loopy and tired. "Paaatrick! Could you bring me a Tylenol?" She called out to her brother.

Sam showed up for dinner and thought the pork chops were great and complimented Patrick on his grilling. Later that night the three sat in the living room watching a movie Sam rented and brought over, well Patrick and Sam trying to watch and Amber chatting away with Sam. The Goth girl got tired of being told to be quite by both her brother and girlfriend and went to take a shower. Amber was in the shower and as she washed her small body she frowned has she soaped her private area around her crotch. _Damn I need a wax. I need to get Patrick to drive me to the saloon._ She looked at her finger nails and decided she would include a manicure as well. Amber shaved her legs with a razor she stole from Patrick and trimmed her pubic area as best she could, she much preferred waxing since it did not have stubble the next day, and washed her hair. _I wonder if I can have sex tonight? God I am sooo horny! And…it could be…no not now…later, think of it later…not now!_

Amber finished her shower and got put on her pink pajama pants and a plain blue tee shirt. When she got back to the living room she saw her brother and Sam were watching the movie intensely and frowned. She hated this face paced unbelievable action movies. She sat down and picked up a fashion magazine and looked through it until the movie was over. When the closing credits were rolling on the television screen Amber faked a yawn and looked at Sam.

"Umm…I'm tired…guess I'll go to bed. Aren't you tired too Samantha?" Sam knew that look in Amber's eye and she glanced at Patrick. He did not seem to notice as he started picking up the used glasses and bowls that contained popcorn kernels.

"Yeah…guess so…I need to brush my teeth first since I have popcorn stuck in them." Sam was horny as well; she had not had sex since that night almost two weeks ago when she used Amber as her booty call. She doubted Amber could do anything…much…but both girls always did enjoy watching one another masturbate on occasions…Sam smiled.

The two girls lay in the bed facing one another. Both girls were naked and Amber gently kissed Sam, "I can't do much…but maybe we could try to full around…I am so horny."

Sam grinned, "Me too…I'll go easy and if it hurts stop me…ok." Amber nodded with a smile and then a moaned as Sam's hand touched her inner thigh and gently spread her legs. Amber rolled to her back and let Sam continue to please her with her fingers as she place her own hand on Sam's belly and caressed it down to her pubic area. After a while Amber gasped out a pleasing orgasm and Sam soon followed. It was not as mind blowing as their normal ones and left them both wanting more, but Amber said her ribs were hurting after breathing so hard. She brought her hand to her lips and licked the fingers that had been inside the blonde.

"I'm sorry, Samantha…I wish I could do more for you. I know you are not satisfied." Amber said sadly.

"It's ok, Amber, it is going to take a while for you to heal…it was nice…don't worry about it. I know how well you can please me. We'll wait until you feel better." Sam kissed Amber's lips and tasted herself and it aroused her even more.

"I love you Samantha…you know that don't you? Do you know when I fell in love with you?"

Sam shook her head. She really did not want to do this right now with her conflicted feelings so she would let Amber talk.

"Well…I always had a crush on you from the first time a friend of mine told me to watch ICarly. I used to try to watch every episode just to see you. I was crushing bad. But I truly fell in love with you when I first had the nerve to approach you in the coffee shop that day…remember. I saw you and had to beg another waitress to let me take your table. We were so slow that day and I had to promise her my tips for the next five days for her to swap." Amber smiled and Sam could not help but smile as well as affection for Amber rushed through her and she brushed locks of hair away from the Goth's face. "Then you were acting so grumpy…of course I did not know why then…and I was so scared."

Sam chuckled, "You didn't act like it. I thought, 'who is this crazy girl sitting at my table', and you just kept talking. I thought it was cute the way you did that. Oh, I was pissed and wishing you would have minded your own business, but I found you strange and I was intrigued by you as well. I also remember when you walked away I thought you had a hot ass."

Amber blushed, "Well I was terrified. I hear about your reputation and everything but I just had to meet you officially. I did not know you were gay then…no one did…but I just had to talk to you. So I sat down and just started rambling…anyway that was the day I truly fell in love with you." Amber kissed Sam on the cheek and Sam noticed she had a tear running down her right eye.

"Amber, baby it's ok…don't cry."

Amber sniffled, "No Samantha…it's not ok…Carly came to see me today…" Amber explained what was said …"and I can't go to the police, Samantha, please don't make me. I would go if you tell me to…but please don't make me. I…I'm scared…real scared of them. You know who did it…I know who did it…and I…they scare me, Samantha, and then I cannot relive what they did to me. I…I am not going back to that school. I can't go back. Patrick and I talked about it after Carly left…by the way I acted terrible to her so please tell her it was kind of her to do what she did….anyway, I am going to another school and…well we made other decisions as well. So make me two promises, that is all I ask of you…and…and I will make a deal with you if you promise me." Amber said as another tear ran down her cheek. She was not sobbing but crying softly.

Sam nodded and brushed the tear away from Amber, "First, Promise me you won't tell anyone I remember and know who it was…not even Patrick…promise me. And second…promise me you won't do anything to them…just let it go, Samantha. I don't want you to get in trouble. They are not worth it and neither am I…promise me these two things and…and…I'll…I'll…let you go." Tears started running down Amber's cheeks harder and she gave a small choking sob. Sam opened her mouth to protest.

"Shhh…no Samantha, please let me finish. When we first started dating people came to me and asked why. They told me things like 'yeah she's one of the hottest girls in school, but she is so mean and tough' and they told me of your temper…which I have seen." Amber placed her finger on Sam's lip when she was going to talk, "Shhh…please don't apologize…I…I did things to make you mad on purpose…of course that was no excuse…anyway people told me those things and more, but I saw in you something different…something more. Remember when we went camping and I got bit by that stupid snake and freaked out and you told me it was just a little non poison one and I would be ok…but I still freaked. I expected you to tease me and make fun of me, but you just held me all night and whispered in my ear I was going to be ok and you took care of me. And when you drug me to the beach over the summer and I got stung by that jelly fish and got that horrible sunburn and you took care of me and comforted me for that week. You put medicine on me and…you were there for me. And now…oh, Samantha, I have been so terrible and…and…I have tried to get you to love me…to make you love me…and you have been nothing but kind and nice to me. Patrick told me you think it is your fault…it is not…it is no one's fault. Those girls would have jumped me another time. Anyway, that is what I tell people who ask why I am dating you. I tell them you are kind, caring, sweet, and a wonderful person. I see that in you even when others don't. So…Samantha give me those two promises and…and I will let you go. I love you, God I love you so much…but I know…I know you don't love me. I see it in your eyes. I thought I could guilt you or manipulate you into loving me and that is so wrong. I know you care for me…but that is not love. So promise me, Samantha, and you are free of me. I love you, baby, and…and it is breaking my heart to let you go…but…but…Samantha, if I kept on and on and tried to get you to love me, you would grow to hate me…and…and I could not live with your hate. So please promise me. And don't ever hate me. And…don't start dating right away…that would kill me too." Amber had tears running down her check. Sam knew the girl was referring to Carly

Sam felt sad and relieved. She felt she did not love Amber, but she cared for the girl a great deal, "Amber…I…don't act so silly…first…I promise I will not do anything to those bitches. I want to kill them…I mean really kill them, but I promise I won't. And I won't tell anyone either…that is between us. Just stop being silly and go to sleep. I have school in the morning and we'll talk more later." Sam kissed Amber forehead, "Now go to sleep."

Amber turned over and pressed herself to Sam and Sam gently wrapped her arms around the girl and she felt Amber's body twitch gently and knew she was crying. She wanted to say something…to try and comfort the other girl, but she couldn't. She knew as well as Amber there would be no talk tomorrow or no later between them. Sam knew when she left to go to school she would not be coming back unless it was as a friend. Sam also knew Amber knew. She felt Amber press harder against her.

"Just one more night, Samantha, just hold me one more night." Amber said quietly through her tears. Sam felt her hand being brought up to Amber's lips and kissed gently, "I love you Samantha…I will always love you." Amber whispered to herself, but Sam heard her. Sam pressed her head into Amber's back and felt tears of her own run down her cheeks.

Sam got up the next morning, took a shower, and got dressed without waking Amber. Sam kissed the girl on her forehead, "You are a lovely, beautiful, remarkable, girl, Amber…and in a way I will always love you too." She whispered and snuck downstairs and quietly left the apartment without waking Patrick either. The previous night he told her he would give her a ride to school, but she left earlier to catch the bus. Sam was about to sneak out the door when she stopped and looked around the large apartment. She smiled sadly since she knew this would be her last time there. She sighed, promised not to cry, prayed Patrick would not hate her, and left. Sam rode to school with mixed feelings. She felt sad about Amber but happy she could finally tell Carly how she felt. She was determined to tell Carly how she loved her. Sam knew her friend knew she was attracted to her, but she was going to confess her love today. She also hoped she would not see Tiffany, Kiesha, or Maria at school and hoped she could keep her promise to Amber.

At lunch Sam was sitting at the Dingo with Carly and they were chatting happily. Sam had yet to tell her friend about her and Amber or her true feelings; she would do so when Carly took her home. Sam looked up as a shadow fell across the table.

"Hey, Sam…Carly…umm…got a second." It was Jason.

"Sure, Jason, sit." Sam said.

Jason sat down, "Umm…how's Amber doing?"

"Good…a lot better. Umm…Jason, how come Ran has yet to come visit her? Hell she did not even show up in the hospital. I heard she has not been in school most of last week and she is not here today. Is she that sick?" Sam asked.

Jason shrugged, "Hell I don't know…she won't talk to me. I have tried to call and visit and she refuses to see me. I…I guess she feels guilty about Amber."

Carly glanced at Sam and back at Jason, "Why…why would she?"

Jason explained about that night to the two girls, leaving out the sex portion. "Jason, tell her it is not her fault…I felt the same way…but Amber told me…well…I can't tell you what she told me, but she knew it was no ones fault." Sam said when Jason finished his tale. "Look, dude, you have got to talk to her…hell I'll try…Amber…well…Amber needs her, man. She and I…well we decided…very calmly by the way…to not date and just be friends...after a while when we can be. So you see Amber needs Ran at this moment. She is still shaken up and said she was not coming back here to school but going to another one."

Jason stood, "I'll try, but she won't talk to me…but I'll try. Anyway, glad Amber's doing good and I would like to see her…if she wants to see me. See ya." He walked away.

Carly stared at Sam with a shocked look on her face, "Sam, you did not tell me the two of you broke up. I…well…I'm surprised."

Sam gave Carly a cold look and then softened, "Please, Carls, not now. We'll talk later after school."

Carly smiled, "Great…I want to tell you something too."

Amber woke to find her bed empty and looked at her clock. It was a little after ten. She got up and put her pink pajama bottoms on and her tee shirt. She walked from her bedroom and smelled coffee from the kitchen. She knew Patrick would be up…he never slept late. She walked past the kitchen and saw him sitting at the dinning room table reading the paper. Amber frowned at his need to follow the news everyday. He looked up and smiled at her.

"Well, good morning, sleeping beauty, want some breakfast?"

Amber walked over to him, pulled the paper from his hands and tossed it on the floor, grabbed his hand, and led him to the couch in the living room without a single word. Patrick gave her an odd look but did not say anything and Amber pushed him to the couch, sat on his lap, placed her arms around his neck, buried her head in his chest, and started sobbing. Patrick put one arm around her gently, careful not to squeeze her ribs, and placed the other on her head.

"Oh…poor baby, I am so sorry, Amber…so sorry." Patrick knew Sam left for good. He could sense it.

Amber cried for twenty more minutes and neither said a word. Patrick knew his sister would talk when she wanted to. Now she just needed him to hold her. After a while Amber pulled back and looked up at him, "Patrick…she…she didn't love me anymore…I…I had to let her go. She…she didn't love me anymore." Amber cried in such anguish Patrick felt a deep sadness in his heart for his sister.

"Shhh…she still cares about you, Amber, a great deal or she would not have been here or stayed with you in the hospital. Shhh…its ok baby…she may not be _in love _with you, but she loves you."

"But…but I wanted her to be _in love_ with me…I love her, Patrick…I love her so much and it hurts…it hurts worse than anything. It hurts like when mommy and daddy died. It hurts like that Ran does…well…it fucking hurts so bad."

Patrick stoked her hair, "I wish I could tell you how I understand or how you feel…but I can't. I've never been in love like that. But you will get past it. It takes time. It will go away."

"But…but I don't want it to…I mean…I want the pain to stop…but I don't want the love to go away." Amber cried and placed her head back in his chest.

"I'm sorry, baby, I am so sorry."

Amber looked up at him and smiled weakly, "Well don't ever fall in love…love sucks!" Patrick chuckled, "Patrick, thank you for coming home…I have been a brat lately…but thank you for coming home to me." Patrick kissed her forehead, "Do you…am I going to like living in Savannah, Georgia?"

Patrick smiled, "Yeah…it's a great city and I have a great job there with that plant I told you about. They are going to hire me as the assistant plant foreman…thanks to a buddy of mine from the marines…and we already have a nice townhouse rented in the historical district…you'll love it. The school is great to. Byung is going to place our apartment on the market and since mom and dad had made arrangements for it to be paid off after they died we can buy you your own car. You'll like it…just have to get used to the way they talk…I find it sexy in the girls. But we will be fine. I can be home all the time now."

"C…c…could we go visit some of the places mommy grew up around? I would like to see them. I know we don't have any relatives there since grandpa and grandma died before I was born…but maybe we could look up some of mommy's old friends she used to stay in touch with. I…I would like that…to see the places she did when she was my age and to know what kind of friends she had when she was a girl."

Patrick smiled, "Of course, baby, we can. It would be fun."

Amber smiled and wiped her eyes, "Well…we are leaving in what…four days? Boy, we got a lot of packing to do." She kissed his cheek and placed her head back in his chest, "Patrick…do you love me?"

"Oh, Amber…of course I do…I love you very much. You are…well…you are my world, sis."

Amber looked up at him and gave him her most charming smile, "Good…then cook me some breakfast…I'm hungry."

Patrick laughed and picked her up and placed her on the couch and went to fix his sister some breakfast. He looked over his shoulder, "God…you are just like mom!" Amber smiled and knew it was one of the greatest compliments he ever gave her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 21 –** **Sam and Carly's Realization and Ran's Confession.**

Carly and Sam rode to Sam's place in silence. Both girls were deep in thought. Carly was trying not to act to happy Sam and Amber broke up. She did not want Sam to see how happy she was. Carly knew that while Sam did not love Amber anymore, she still cared about the girl and was a little sad. Carly had to respect that. Sam was not thinking about Amber as Carly thought she was. She was trying to think of the best way to tell Carly she loved her…as more than a friend. Her thoughts drifted to almost panic as she remembered how Carly acted when she told her she was gay. Of course things were better now, but she could not lose Carly as a friend. Sam had very few…well none…close friends and even if she never admitted it she needed a friend. Amber was gone from her now even if they agreed to "just be friends". Regardless of how Amber told her she never knew how much she loved the blonde, Sam knew. Sam knew Amber loved her to the point of the "cannot live without you" feeling. She also knew the sacrifice Amber made to let her go. The blonde also knew she could not turn to Amber again for friendship for a long time. It was not fair to the Goth girl to have Sam around her as a friend. Sam hoped one day they could be close again, but that would not be soon. Sam did feel deep sadness with the loss of her relationship with Amber, but her desire and love for Carly was stronger. With all her doubts, Sam was determined to let Carly know how she felt.

After the girls got to the apartment building Sam checked the mail box and saw some bills, a Gothic fashion magazine addressed to Amber, a letter from her mom, and another envelope with just her name across the front "Samantha". Sam knew the hand writing as Ambers. They got inside and she tossed the mail on the kitchen counter and sat on the couch and Carly sat in the arm chair. Carly picked up a fashion magazine from the coffee table and thumbed threw it.

"How could she like these things? These clothes are horrible." She tossed the magazine on the table and Sam saw it was a Gothic fashion magazine.

"Carly…stop ok…that was Amber and you know she got out of that hard core Goth stage a long time ago. She was…well…come on you even know she was pretty and looked good in her outfits and had perfect fashion sense."

Carly smiled, "Yeah…have to give the girl that…she did look great. She was…is…very pretty. I used to envy her you know. I used to envy how pretty she is. Always looking perfect. When I went to see her yesterday and she was in bed and all…well…beat up…I got jealous. I thought I wish I could look that good at my best."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah she used to say the same about you. Funny…the two of you have so much in common but hate one another."

Carly glared at Sam, "I have nothing in common with that bitch!"

Sam glared back, "Carly…God…you…and her…what is it with the two of you! Both of you just go nuts over the mere mention of each other's name! Do you know what she told me…in the middle of breaking up with me…the girl was crying and heart broken and she told me…told me, 'tell Carly I am sorry about how I acted when she came to talk to me. That was very kind of her.' She told me to tell you that."

Carly jumped out of the chair, "Well wasn't that just fucking grand of her…didn't that just let you know how nicer of a person she is of me? Did she tell you other things she said! Did she tell you as I left her house I could hear her shout 'I hate that bitch'? Of course not…poor hurt sweet kind Amber! That's want you thought! Well I am glad she got a little bit of a conscience and decided to be honest with you and tell you she was just using you…manipulating you to love her."

Sam stayed on the couch and her temper flared. Not just at Carly but Amber as well. These two girls held each other in such content it was so hard for her to believe. "Why, Carls…why do you and her hate each other so much! So you two never got along, but that dislike grew into hate! Why? What is it with you two? Damn it, Carls, tell me! She is out of my life now…for good or bad…so why?" Sam sounded like she was almost pleading now.

Carly stepped closer to the couch and then anger in her eyes softened as she stared at her friend, "Sam…oh, Sam…you mean you really don't know do you? God…I…we…have been so stupid with you. Sam, we hate one another because of _you_. Our whole hate relationship is built around who is better for you. Who does she love more. Who loves _you_ more. Can't you see…I love you Sam Puckett! I love you in…in more than a friendship way! When you stay with me and sleep with me all I wanted to do is grab you, kiss you, and…and have…have sex with you!" Carly straddled Sam's legs and hugged her, "Oh…poor Sam…we put you through so much trying to be the referee in a fight you should not have been involved in…I am so sorry…God I am so sorry for being a bitch when it came to _her_…but…I love you, Sam, and the thought of her having you drove me crazy! I love you, Sam Puckett!"

Sam was stunned, she knew there was jealousy between Amber and Carly, but never knew Carly actually loved her like that. She held Carly tight and her heart soured and thoughts of Amber left her mind. "What…what about those things you told me. You needed time, you were confused, and you did not know…what about that and all your doubts?"

Carly pulled herself away, "I am…was…hell I may be confused but one thing I know is I love you and would love you if you were a boy or a girl. I…don't just freaking just sit there…kiss me, Sam…oh God please kiss me!"

And Sam did…she kissed the girl she loved. It was a kiss full of passion and desire and love. A kiss they denied one another of for so long. Sam heard Carly moan in pleasure and started kissing her neck and then back to her lips. The girls kissed for a long period of time and their tongues danced in each other's mouths. When they finally broke apart Carly fell off Sam's lap next to her on the couch. Sam sat back against the couch and slid her body down. Both girl's looked at one another and said "WOW" at the same time. They stared at each other and while they could not read each other's minds both girls knew one another well enough to read each other's emotions. After another ten to fifteen seconds of just staring at one another with awestruck expressions they both burst out laughing. They laughed to where their sides ached. After a while Sam spoke first.

"Hell, Carls, no wonder your still a virgin…you kiss like shit."

Carly threw the sofa pillow at Sam, "Ohhh you are so terrible. I kiss great…just boys not perverted girls like you. I cannot believe you tried to seduce me…you terrible terrible evil girl. What would you have done if I wanted to keep going and you didn't?"

"Hell, Carls, you're a fine piece of ass…I would have fucked you anyway…I mean think about my reputation at school…the person who finally popped the beautiful, perfect Carly Shay's cherry."

"Ohhh…you are soooo mean…you would have to, huh?" Sam nodded at her with a grin in her face. Both girls laughed again.

Carly sighed after the laughter subsided, "So what now…want to watch a movie or go shopping or what? I'm kind of hungry." Carly noticed the look on Sam's face, "Hey, Sam…you know I was just kidding about you being terrible and I knew you were teasing about having sex with me…I mean…we are ok right. I mean…you don't love me and I am not into girls…your scarring me, hun."

Sam looked at her and shook her head, "Yeah…seriously, Carls, we are the best of friends and nothing is ever going to change that…_ever_! But…but…well…Carly…I…I love her, Carly! I love Amber! Oh God…I have been such a fucking idiot! When we kissed…all I could think about was her. Kissing her, holding her, making love to her. I could only think about her…the way she dresses and always has to try to look perfect and…and her quirks that I found so adorable and then hated…they are so fucking adorable and…and I miss them. Oh fuck, Carly, do you think it's too late."

Carly smiled and for the first time since Sam started dating Amber she did not feel hate or jealousy for the Goth girl. She doubted they would ever be friends, but she was no longer jealous of Amber St Claire when it came to Sam. "Sam…she loves you. Just go see her and talk to her. She will come back to you. I know she will. And…well…I hope she does for you."

Sam smiled and then jumped up, "The letter…the fucking letter. I…I got a letter in the mail from her. I…where is it." Sam started throwing things off the coffee table in a panic and Carly calmly walked to the kitchen and took the envelope addressed simply to Samantha off the counter and handed it to Sam with a smug smile. Sam tore it open and read it.

When she was done she handed it back to Carly with tears in her eyes. "Its…its…its to late…oh, Carls, she's moving away and…and said she does not want me to call or try to get in touch with her…Oh, Carls…what did I do?" Carly dropped the letter and took friend in her arms and Sam cried. Carly never saw her cry like this before. She realized for the first time Sam was truly in love with Amber St. Claire and all issues she had with the girl regarding Sam from the past vanished. If she was good enough for Sam to love then she sure as hell was good enough for Carly to accept it. Later, when Sam was laying on the couch with a dazed look on her face and the occasional tear slipping down her cheek, Carly picked the letter up from the floor and read it.

My dearest Samantha,

I had to write this letter to tell you one thing I did not tell you last night. I was afraid to tell you because I know you. I know how you see yourself as this hard case girl with no emotions and a bad ass, but I know you for the love and kindness you give others when you care for them. And I know you for you sense of honor, misguided as it may be sometimes. Like when you were always ready to beat up Tiffany or Maria or Kiesha or anyone else who was mean to me. That is honor, Sam, something to be proud of…just be careful with it and don't do anything to get yourself hurt…you are a noble person and I love you for that…and about a hundred million other reasons. I knew if I told you last night your sense of honor would once again be misguided and you would deny you don't love me anymore. I was also afraid if you denied it one more time I would go running back to you…I can't do that Samantha…I can't as much as I want to…I don't have the strength to fight myself again and let you go again…please understand, my love, please.

Anyway…we are moving, Patrick and I. We are moving to Savannah Georgia. Patrick got a job there and…funny I was going to say he is making me go, but he is not. I have to leave here, Samantha, please understand. I have too many memories here…a lot good thanks to you…and a lot bad. My mom and dad died here, what happened to me at school haunts me here, losing my friendship with Ran, and you. Patrick said I will like it in Savannah and did you know that was where my mom was born and raised…that is pretty exciting to me; to see where she grew up. And it will be good for me.

I will never forget you, Samantha…never! I know people tell other people how they will always love them and don't mean it…but I will always love you and I do mean it! But you deserve better than to be with someone out of guilt or pity. You deserve to be with someone you love. I know you love her…I have always known. She knows it to. I see it when I look at her and when she looks at you or us together; and you have seen that look as well. Don't ask me to be happy for her. I never will be!…Yeah I know but I can't help it, I will never be happy for the person who took you from me. But I will be happy for you always. I mean that as well. I just like to think and hope if it was not for Carly Shay you would be with me. I love you enough to be second in your life and your second choice.

I have three more promises I would like add to the list from last night for you to make to me. One is when you think of me in the future…and I hope you do think of me because there will not be a day that goes by I will not think of you at least a thousand times…please think of me kindly and fondly. Second – go to college! You are so smart and you can go to college…please do that for me and for yourself. And third…and this is the hardest one I am asking you…Samantha, please don't call me or try and contact me. I told Patrick not to take your calls and…just please don't. It is so hard for me to ask you this…but please Samantha…I can't take seeing you again or hearing your voice. If I did all this new found courage I have would go away and I would…please Samantha just don't. If you every did love me…which I like to think you did and I do believe you did at one time…if you every loved me then honor this wish. I do not ask you with a light heart…but a broken heart. I do not blame you…please never think that! You are wonderful, kind, caring, and noble. Please see that in yourself. Know that is why I fell in love with you and why Carly loves you as well. Her and I do have two things in common I guess…you always said we were alike in many ways…one is our love for you and the other is we both see you for what you are. A truly wonderful girl…I do have to add…hot as hell as well!

I ask once more, please do not try and contact me…we are leaving in four days so it should not be too hard. We said our goodbyes last night. Again, I do not have the strength to turn you away again…so please respect that!

My love always and forever and wishing you happiness forever,

Amber

P.S. Samantha…thank you for the happiness you gave me for the short period of time…too short...we were together. I was truly honored to be called your girlfriend. And when you go to college, wear a dress your first day! You look so beautiful in a dress!

Carly read the letter twice and for the second time in her life she felt pity for Amber St. Claire. She looked at Sam sadly and sat on the couch and her friend immediately fell back into her arms and cried. _Damn…she really loved Sam_, Carly thought and held her friend.

**Ran**

For a almost a full week Ran Isuel stayed in her room except to briefly talk to her mom and dad and get just enough food to curb what little hunger she felt. Ran knew her parents were concerned but she just shut them out like she did everyone else. She did not go to school or even for her daily runs. It was the first time in fours years she missed a day with her runs. He mom cried and begged her to come out, but Ran shut her out. He dad used anger, but she shut him out as well. They even tried guilt saying how much she was scaring them. Ran laughed at their guilt like a mad woman. _What do they know about guilt! I damned my soul with a promise to help and protect someone I love more than my own life and I failed that person…that is guilt! _She would think as she laughed at their attempts. Ran cried in her room alone until she could cry no more for days. Her emotions, that she kept hidden and bottled up ever since she was a child, finally came out of her. She could only remember crying three times in her life over emotional pain and only a few more over physical pain. Once over the death of Amber's mom and dad and crying more for the pain it caused her best friend. Again not long ago when she flipped out over her concern for that same friend, and now…the worse of them all…over the guilt she felt for allowing the same best friend to be hurt like she was. Her parents even tried to use Jason…HA! That was almost as big a laugh as the guilt. Jason, the boy she thought she loved at one time, the boy who gave her wonderful sex, the boy she was with the night Amber got hurt. Use him! He disgusted her now. Everything about him disgusted her and when he came over that night she told him and she got physically sick at the sound of his voice. Yes, Ran knew her mom and dad were desperate, but they could not help her.

No one could help her, but she could seek one thing. To seek forgiveness from one of the few people she truly cared for. Amber got hurt all because she decided that she could not keep a promise anymore to protect her best friend because it interfered in her own social life. She broke a promise she made when she was thirteen to a friend she loved and adored…the only true friend she had or allowed to get close to her or even wanted to have. Worse than failing to be there for her friend so she could have physical pleasure from Jason was the fact Ran knew why it happened. She knew why Amber got hurt. Amber got hurt because Ran made a deal…a contract…with the devil and she failed that contract and it caused Amber to get hurt…and soon…one day soon…he would come for her and take her. Ran was ready for that. She was ready to meet him with her soul in hand and give it to him willingly. But she was not prepared for what he did to Amber. Ran knew her God could not save her now. She turned her back on Him years ago when she made her hellish pact. She knew He would never forgive her and damn her and she could live with that. She could live without His forgiveness, she could live with her guilt, she could live with never forgiving her self, but she could not live with Amber's blame or without her forgiveness. She needed the girl to forgive her…not love her anymore. Ran knew she lost that, and it saddened her deeply, but she needed forgiveness from Amber before she spent eternity in hell for her crime.

Ran was thirteen and raised to be a devout Catholic like her mom and dad…mom more so than dad. She went to mass every Sunday. She was taught in the Sunday Schools by the strict nuns. She was taught to honor God but to fear him as well. Ran was taught to trust in him and she did. She had to fight her mom and dad to go to a public kindergarten instead of starting the private catholic school. Her mom and dad gave in and she met Amber…one of the happiest days of her life. She loved Amber from the first day she met her and did her best to protect her smaller and weaker friend from that day on. Ran once again had to fight her mom and dad when it came to middle school. Her mom thought she should attend the catholic school but she wanted to go to school with Amber. Ran hugged and thanked Amber's mom…Lilly…over and over for helping convince her mother to allow her to go to the public school. She felt had to be there to protect Amber and to be with her friend; Ran thought if they went to different schools she would lose the only friend she had or even wanted. There was never a question about her attending the public high school; Amber's mom and dad recently died and Ran's mom thought it would be better for her to go with Amber. But up until high school Ran went to Mass and practiced the religion and its rituals and she honored God and feared him as she was taught. Then tragedy struck.

Amber's mom and dad…Ran's second mom and dad…were killed. This God who Ran honored and loved and feared struck then down at a young age. Ran was devastated and she slowly turned on her God and for the first time in her life she questioned her God. Then she saw Amber and the pain her best friend and girl she adored more than a sister suffer in her pain. Ran could not bear it. It was one thing she could not protect Amber from. She prayed for God to take away the pain Amber had. She even told God she herself will suffer in anyway her saw fit…short of taking her own mom and dad…if it took away Amber's pain. He did not and Amber still suffered after her prayers and pleas. Then Ran made a promise right then and there. She promised she would never ever let Amber be hurt again. She would protect her at all costs and if she ever turned her back on Amber or failed to protect her then she herself would suffer a hundred times worse. It was a promise she never told anyone and never would. It was also a promise she did not make to God, who failed her in her eyes, it was a promise made to hell and she included in that promise if she ever failed Amber she would give her soul to the devil. And she did fail and Ran knew soon he would come for her. Maybe next week, maybe a year, or maybe fifty years, but he would come to claim what was his. Ran knew her soul was damned. But that was fine, she would suffer the consequences. Ran was not a sore loser but a strong competitor and she lost. She played a good game and just got cocky and made a mistake and lost the game. So she would gladly pay what was owed. What she could not live with was Amber not forgiving her…she needed that...she could not live without that!

It was the Tuesday morning after Amber's attack the week before and Ran pulled herself from her bed and looked at her clock. It was after ten in the morning. Her stomach growled but she was not hungry. She smelled herself and thought maybe today she would shower. _It's been five days since I showered_. The last time was to wash that disgusting scent of Jason off her. She looked around and saw her running shoes and decided she needed a run to think how to ask…beg forgiveness from Amber. The Asian girl put on her sweat pants, sports bra, shirt, and shoes. Ran snuck out the garage door to avoid her mother and saw her dad walking to their outside storage building. He waved and she ignored him. Ran jogged for about a half mile and stopped. She could not run or think. She turned and walked home.

Ran entered the kitchen for some water and saw her mother sitting down drinking her tea. He mom smiled up at her. "That was a quick run, Hu-Ran, your father saw you and we thought you may be feeling better. Maybe you could go to school tomorrow."

Ran shrugged her shoulders and got a bottle of water from the refrigerator and walked to the sink and looked out the window as she took a swallow. She saw her father raking leaves. She felt a little sadness by that. Ran used to help her dad with the yard work at times; it was a bonding time for her and her father. She was brought out of her thoughts by her mom.

"Hu-Ran…Hu-Ran…Ran! I am talking to you, dear." Her mother said calmly.

"Huh?" Ran said without turning around.

"I said would you like something to eat. I know you have not eaten much in days and you must be hungry."

"No…not hungry." Ran replied and without turning around.

"Ran, I need to ask you something and please be truthful with me." Ran heard the concern in her mom's voice and knew when her mother used the shortened version of her name, she was concerned. Ran just shrugged her shoulders.

Mrs. Isuel switched to Korean, "Hu-Ran, are you pregnant?"

"No!" Ran replied in English without turning around.

"Well, if you are you could tell me. I would not approve of course, but you know you can tell me anything. So…are you?" Her mother asked again in English.

Still looking out the window Ran felt anger rise up in her. "No, mother, I am not fucking pregnant! I am not that fucking stupid!"

"Do not use that word with me, young lady! I am just trying to determine what is wrong with you! I am worried and you dad is worried about you. You have not left the house in days, you do not eat, and when your best friend was in the hospital you did not even go see her! You have not even called her! I will tell you this, young lady, Thursday evening you will shower, get dressed in a nice outfit, and you are going to dinner with your parents! We are taking Patrick and Amber out to eat before they move! I will not take no for answer! Do you understand me?"

Ran heard the anger in her mother's voice and she heard about Amber moving. Still she did not turn around, "Where are they moving to?" Ran asked as she brought the water bottle up to her mouth. She thought the brother and sister may be selling the apartment and moving out of the city.

"They are moving to Savannah Georgia and you will be there to say goodbye. I do not know why you and Amber had a falling out, but I am sure she would like to see you before they moved. Patrick got a job…"

The water bottle fell from Ran's hands and bounced off the edge of the sink and onto the floor; spilling water as it fell. Ran spun around to face her mother for the first time this morning. "What…what…why…no…no! She is not moving! Why…she can't! Why are you telling me lies for! Amber is not moving!" Ran screamed at her mother.

"Ran…child, yes they are. If you would have talked to us we would have told you. I tried to tell you, but all you do is tell me to leave you alone. We are taking them out for dinner and your father is going to sell the apartment for them. They are leaving Friday. I know you want to say goodbye to them…to Amber…_Ran…Ran…oh, child, what is wrong?"_ Mrs. Isuel asked when she saw her daughter start to cry. Her daughter did not cry often, even when she was a little girl, and she had not seen her child cry since she was fourteen. It scared her. She was caught off guard when Ran ran to her and wrapped her arms around her and buried her face in her neck.

"Mommy…I…oh, mommy, I did a terrible thing! I…I…mommy…I need you!" Ran cried and her mother wrapped her arms around her daughter and tried to understand what her little girl could have done to make her sob like a baby.

**A/N – some may think Ran's thoughts on her promise and deal is a little superstitious, but I have a friend who is a very devout catholic and my own parents are and they can be like this at times. It may be a little mid-evil in thoughts, but to some people so powerful is their belief or upbringing it is possible.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N – sorry no apologies for the last chapter…too bad, my story. Sam and Carly were confused. They have such love in their friendship that they were confused on the type of love until they kissed…for the firs time by the way. Carly did explain she was confused about liking girls or not…and it was not. Ever kissed someone you thought you liked…were very attracted to…and then kissed and then…blah! Nothing! Nada! I have and it happens…same with Carly and Sam. Again I do not apologize.**

**Chapter 21 – Begging for Forgiveness**

Ran drove to Amber's apartment in a hurry. She told her mother, or tried to, why she had to go see her friend right that moment. Ran did not tell her mother everything; she did not tell her of the hellish pact she made. She just said she had to beg Amber to forgive her since God never would. He mother tried to tell her God would forgive all things, but Ran knew that was not true. She knew God would not forgive and she did not care, she just hoped Amber would. She would beg on her hands and knees if she had to. She would do anything to have the other girl forgive her. Ran knew they would not be friends again…that was over…but she hoped at least for forgiveness. She parked her car across the street from Amber's apartment building and sighed. She got out of the car and walked to see the girl she felt she betrayed. It took her a good five minutes to ring the door buzzer, she knew the code but felt it was no longer her place just to walk up. A male voice sounded over the speaker.

"Yeah."

Ran swallowed, she had not seen Patrick in months and for the first time since she met Amber's brother she did not think of the crush she held for him for years. "P…Patrick…it's Ran…may…may I come up? I…I need to talk to Amber"

"Sure…you know you do not need to ask. Come on up."

Ran got to the door and Patrick opened it before she even rang the bell. He was wearing shorts and a tee shirt, both wet from sweat. Normally Ran would have swooned with desire, but today she just needed to see…to beg…Amber.

"Sorry…just got back from the gym downstairs. Amber's in her room…packing…or supposed to be. I am sure she is shirking her duties." Patrick gave his boyish grin, "I'll tell her you're here." Ran stood in the doorway as Patrick went to get his sister.

Amber was in her bed lying on her back reading a fashion magazine. She was getting her sight back and she hurt less and less everyday. She was still bruised and looked like what had happened, but she was feeling better physically. Amber heard the buzz announcing they had company. She sighed_, must be someone wanting to look at the apartment. God, please don't let them come in my room…it's a mess._ She thought and looked around her room. She had boxes and unpacked things strewn across the room and a box full of pictures in the bed next to her. She did not want to open the box since she knew what they were. They were photos of her and Ran throughout the years. She knew she could not look at them without crying and she was tired of crying. She had been crying for days over Sam and she did not need to cry over Ran. She heard the door bell, Patrick talking to someone, and a few moments later a knock on her door.

"Yeah…it's open."

Patrick opened the door and frowned, "You are supposed to be packing. Have you done anything?"

Amber smiled at him, "A little…just taking a break." She nudged the box of photos with her foot. "Can you take these to the incinerator when whoever is here leaves…I…I don't need them anymore."

"Sure," Patrick had no idea what was in the box, "the whoever is Ran and she wants to see you."

Amber sat up quickly, which caused her side to hurt. "Tell her I don't want to…wait…yeah go get her. I'll talk to her. I want to give her something." Amber said and got off the bed and opened the box of photos.

Ran walked into the room a few moments later and saw Amber with her back turned going through a box and some pictures strewn across the bed. She glanced around the room and saw the boxes and it hit her…she was moving. Ran stood in the doorway, "Amber…Ams…I…I…"

"Why hello, Ran, sweet of you to drop in to tell me goodbye. I'm real busy…packing and all. But I did want to give you some stuff I have no use for anymore." Amber said in a very pleasantly fake voice.

"Ams…I…can we…"

Ran was once again interrupted by Amber when the girl held up a photograph in a frame over her shoulder to show Ran. The photo was of two girls of sixteen and both were dressed in long elegant cocktail dresses. Amber in a light green one and Ran in a body shaping white one. Amber still did not turn around.

"Remember this one? It was my sixteenth birthday. Remember your mom wanted to throw me a huge party…like you had…but I just wanted it to be me and you. Oh, I begged your mom and told her the only person I wanted to be with on my sixteenth birthday was you. Your mom surprised us with a four day trip to New York City…even took us out of school. I made you dress all up and we went to the Russian Tea Room. You mom even sat at a different table so it could be just me and you on my birthday…remember, Ran?"

Ran had tears running down her cheek and managed to choke out a "Yes" and Amber continued, "Remember on the flight back, we were sitting in first class and pretending we were such fancy people…and you told me something…what was it…oh yes. You said, 'Ams, thank you for letting it be just us on your birthday.' And I told you I could not have gotten a better gift than being your friend. Remember?" Amber threw the picture over her shoulder on the floor next to Ran's feet. "I should have had the fucking party and gotten better gifts!" Amber's voice turned harsh.

Ran looked at the picture in the now cracked frame. "Amber…I…please…I…"

Amber ignored her and held another picture over her shoulder. This one larger and also in a frame. It was two young girls of nine or ten and between the two friends was a beautiful young lady dressed as Snow White. "And this one…we were what? Nine…no ten…yeah ten. Our parents took us to Disney Land and remember how in love with Snow White I was. Remember I made you watch the movie over and over and you would get sick of it, but you watched it anyway…you said because I liked it. And when we met her and had our picture taken with her I would not stop hugging her and telling her I loved her. And then…what did you tell me after we met her…oh yeah, 'Ams, you look just as beautiful as her. You look just like her with your black hair and white skin and red lips' Remember, Ran? You told me I was as pretty as she was and looked just like her. Remember how I begged mom to let me get my hair cut like Snow White just because _you_ said I was as pretty as she was and cried when mom said no…God I was so foolish then. Let me ask you, Ran, am I still as beautiful as Snow White?" Amber said with venom in her voice and turned around.

Ran let out a gasp of horror when she saw her friend for the first time since she was beaten. Ran saw the swollen left eye, now uncovered, and the terrible swollen bruise and blood red eye of her friend. Ran saw the healing ugly yellow and purple bruises on Amber's face and neck, the healing scratches where finger nails raked down Amber's cheek, and the swollen stitched lip of the girl. She looked down at her feet not being able to look at her friend any longer and burst in a choking sob.

"A-A-Amber…I…Oh God what did they do to you…I…Oh God I am sooo sorry! I…please, Ams, please forgive me…I…please…Oh God I am so sorry…"

"What did they do to me?" Amber screamed now at the other girl, "Forgive you? I will tell you what they fucking did to me! Look at me, Ran! Fucking look at me!" Ran looked up with tears running down her face. "You don't get to stand there and not look at what I have to see every fucking day! You want to know what they did to me…they fucking beat me, Ran…Look at me! They beat me and choked me and pushed my head in the toilet and almost drowned me! And you know what else?" Amber turned back around and pulled her pajama bottoms down along with her panties. Ran gasped in horror again when she saw the bruised welts and small cuts on Amber's buttocks. "See my ass, Ran! Look at it…it _was_ a cute ass…now look at it! They fucking beat me with a belt! They beat my ass until it bled…and…and they are going to leave scars, Ran! Scars on my cute butt!" Amber turned back around.

"Amber…oh God…I…I didn't know…please…I…I need you to forgive me. I…ohhh…Ams…I didn't know!" Ran begged and took a step to her friend but was stopped by the look in Amber's eyes. Ran never saw such hate in those spectacular green eyes.

"Oh no! You _do not_ get to touch me! You ask me to forgive you…let me tell you what else, Ran, let me tell you what else they did to me. Do you know why I went into that bathroom? I had to pee…and they were in there and they…they…they started beating me and put my own fucking panties in my mouth to stop my screams before I had a chance to pee." Amber started crying now, "I…as they…as they beat me…I…I peed myself, Ran, I fucking pissed myself and on the floor! Then do you know what they did then? They threw me in my own urine and…and made me lick it up! And…And I fucking did so _willingly _if it got them to stop hurting me! I licked my own piss off that disgusting bathroom floor so they would stop beating me! I gladly licked my own urine, Ran! I did it because I was scared they were going to beat me more and more if I didn't. I thought it would…would make them stop! But they didn't! They didn't stop until I got sick all over myself…I guess even that was to disgusting for them. I don't know how long I lay there in my own urine and vomit until I finally got the strength to move…I have no idea! And then…then you did not even visit me in the hospital! You did not even come and fucking see me! And here you are asking me to forgive you! It's all your fault! If you had came and got me like you promised! If you would have been there to protect me like _you promised_! If…if you would not have been fucking Jason then this never would have happened to me! How fucking dare you ask me to forgive you! Why didn't you fucking come see me in the hospital! Why, Ran! What did I ever do you to you to make you hate me so much! To make you lie to me! You lied to me, Ran! _You promised you would protect me and you didn't!_ You promised to come get me…you lied to me so you could suck Jason's cock!"

Ran dropped to her knees and sobbed. She never saw Amber so angry and never heard the other girl use the language she used. "Please…please, Amber…I…I can never forgive myself…God will never forgive me…but…but I need you to forgive me…I cannot live without that forgiveness! Please, Ams, please…I know you don't love me anymore and…and we are no longer friends…I don't deserve to be your friend anymore…but I beg you…I plead you…I will do anything, just forgive me!" Ran begged on her knees to her friend as she sobbed and tears ran down her cheeks.

Amber threw the picture she was holding of her and Ran and Snow White at Ran. The glass on the frame shattered. Amber then picked up the box of photos and threw them at the other girl as well.

"I will never forgive you! And you are right! We are not friends anymore! I hate you! _I fucking hate you!_ Get out of my house! Take these pictures and get out! I don't want anything to remind me of you or your lies! Of all the bad things I have ever done in my life…_I_ _have never lied to you!" _Amber screamed and threw herself on her bed face down and cried.

Ran was sobbing and trying to pick up the scattered pictures and cut her finger on some glass. She did not care or feel the pain. As she was putting some of the pictures back in the box, Patrick, who heard the screaming from downstairs, walked in and gently pulled Ran to her feet and she wrapped her arms around him. He held her tight.

"Ran…lets go downstairs for a minute. It's going to ok…shhh…come on." He said and picked up the box and walked Ran out of the room with one arm wrapped around her and the other carrying the box of pictures.

"_Stop being nice to that lying whore!_ I want her out of my fucking house!" They heard Amber scream as they walked from the room. Patrick walked the Asian girl to the couch and sat her down and placed the box of pictures on the coffee table. He looked at her bleeding finger, removed the small shard of glass from it, and put a band aid on her finger. Ran placed her head in his chest and cried. He stroked her hair and did his best to sooth her. This was Ran's fantasy for ten years; to have Patrick hold her like he was now, but she did not care. All she wanted right now was for Amber to forgive her.

"I'll talk to her, Ran. Just stay here and I'll talk to her…shhh…it's ok…just wait here. She did not mean those words. She had a terrible week…with what happened, with Sam, and us moving…shhh…it'll be ok." Patrick had to pry Ran's arms away since she did not want to let go and he walked into Amber's room. His sister had her face buried in her pillow and was crying. She looked up when she heard him into the room.

"Is she gone! _Did you tell that lying fucking whore to leave my house!_ I want her fucking gone!" Amber yelled loud enough for Ran to hear her…which was intended.

Patrick sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his sister up, "Amber…She is your best friend and you…"

"_I hate her!_ She was never my friend!" Again Amber said it loud enough for Ran to hear her. She hugged her brother, "She promised me, Patrick, she promised me she would not ever allow me to get hurt…and I did. She lied to me!"

"Amber, listen to me." Patrick said with more command in his voice. "She should not have made such a promise. It was one she could never keep. You know that. I know she is your friend and I know you love her still. If you didn't then you would not be acting this way. Do not throw that friendship away over something that is not her fault. If you are looking for someone to blame…hell blame me. I was not here and if I was then it may not have happened. If you would not have wrecked my car then it would not have happened. If you would not have stayed late after school it would not have happened…see…you could blame a hundred different things. Don't blame her. Of all people, don't blame Ran. She loves you…and you love her. Do not throw that friendship away. Now I am going to ask you again…do you blame her?"

Amber looked at her brother and bit her lower lip on the right side and shook her head, "No…not…not really…I…I never really blamed her. I…she should have came to visit me in the hospital. That is why I am mad at her. I'm angry for that."

"Then tell her that. Do not blame her for the other thing. Amber, she is too special of a friend for you to lose. Trust me, friends like that are hard to come by…I lost one…don't you lose one either."

Amber nodded and was about to say something when they both heard the screeching of brakes and tires from outside. Amber got up and looked out the window. At first all she could see was people gathering around in the middle of the street and then she saw papers flying around in the wind and then her heart froze. She saw a figure lying in the street. A figure with long silky black hair, wearing jeans and a blue tee shirt. The same clothes Ran had on.

"Ran! Ohhh God noooo! Not her too!" Amber screamed and ran out the door with Patrick behind her. They ran out the apartment and Patrick took the stairs and Amber waited for the elevator. Her side hurt from her bruised and broken ribs so she could not run down the stairs.

Ran was sitting on the couch crying and heard Amber call her a lying whore and telling her to leave. She picked up the box of pictures and left the apartment while Patrick was talking to his sister. Ran was sobbing as she walked across the street to her car and was not paying attention and did not see the car but heard its breaks and tires screech and looked up just as it hit her. The car knocked her down even through it was not going fast and Ran felt herself being helped up by the man driving the car. Her knee hurt when it got twisted but other than that she was fine but allowed the man to walk her to the curb and sit her down on a bus stop bench. She looked up as the man dialed 911 and saw Patrick running across the street. He got to her and she was about to tell him she was ok when she saw Amber running across the street barefoot. Amber crashed into her and hugged her tight as she sat down next to her friend. She cried as she hugged the Asian girl. Ran looked up and saw Patrick talking to the man who hit her.

"Ran…I…I'm so sorry…I did not mean any of those terrible things I said! I don't blame you…its not your fault…I'm sorry I was so mean to you…please forgive me. You are not…you are not a lying whore…and…and I don't hate you. I love you…please be ok." Amber cried.

"Ams…I…I'm ok…just twisted my knee a little…and…please don't cry. You have every right to hate me. I…I'm the one who is sorry…you don't need to apologize…I do…I need you to forgive me…please tell me you forgive me." Ran also cried as she hugged Amber.

"I do…I…anything…just be ok. I forgive you. And…and…it's not your fault. I was just mad you did not come see me in the hospital…I…don't hate you."

Patrick looked at the two girls after he talked to the driver of the car and shook his head. Both were crying and begging one another for forgiveness. _God…I'll never understand women! If it had been me and my best friend I would have punched him and broke his jaw and we would have been friends again. Women are too dramatic for me_. He smiled through at the girls. An ambulance and paramedic showed up and looked at Ran and said she was fine, just a twisted knee and to put some ice on it tonight. Patrick then had to help the two girls limp back to the apartment. One on each side. He thought both of them were faking their soreness just to make his life miserable.

Amber and Ran lay on their backs in Amber's bed with their heads touching. Amber's feet were at the head board and Ran's at the foot board and their heads met in the middle. Amber held a small blue stuffed bear that was her security when she was small. She simply named it Bear. Ran clutched a pillow to her chest. Both girls were done crying and apologizing and forgiving. Ran told Amber about her feelings and her guilt and what she did to Jason and Amber explained what happened with her and Sam. Ran was impressed with her friend and the strength she showed. Both girls sniffled occasional from the crying and sobbing they did. Amber told Ran who did it and the reason why she was not going to the police. Ran understood and promised her Goth friend the same thing Sam did. She would not seek her vengeance.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know you love her." Ran said when Amber was finished talking about Sam. Amber shrugged.

"Yeah…I do…just she did not love me anymore and I could not stand if she grew to hate me." Amber sniffed and rolled over on her non painful side and pushed Ran's hair out of her face and over her ears. She liked when Ran's pretty face was visible and thought her friend had the prettiest ears and should show them more. They were perfectly shaped and the perfect size. "Now…about you and Jason…you need to call him…like now! He is a good person."

Ram sighed and pushed her hair back over her ears only to have Amber brush it back. "I know, Ams…but I…well…I was a bitch to him and called him things I should not have…in Korean so he could not understand", both girls giggled, "I'll call him later…after you move…I…I want this to be me and you and no one else."

Amber smiled and nodded. Ran turned on her side and started braiding Amber's red locks. "Ams…do you have to move? I don't want you to go. You could live with us again. You…you are the only true friend I have."

Amber smiled sadly, "I can't, Ran, I can't go back to that school."

"You could go to a different school…we both could. Mom would love if I transferred to the Catholic school…and dad would pay your tuition."

"Ran, I could not ask your dad to do that…I have too…it will be good for me. I'm going to miss you so much, but…I have to. Plus you are going to visit over the summer. I mean it! I will not take no for an answer. And I will come visit you for Christmas. Plus you can't go to another school. They don't have a volleyball team and you would lose your scholarship and remember you got that invitation to try out in July for the Olympic Volleyball Team. I'll come to your try outs. Plus Patrick enrolled me in this private school in Savannah and they wear the cutest uniforms. Blue plaid skirts and white shirts and blue sweaters…I'll look so cute in them. "

Ran chuckled, "Ok…but we had all these plans. Remember when we were freshman and we made a deal we would travel down the coast after we graduated?"

Amber giggled, "We can…just a different coast. Come visit and we will go to Florida."

Ran laughed, "You hate the beach. But I will come visit. Nothing can keep me away from you."

Amber smiled and both girls lay there playing with each others hair for a while until Amber broke the silence, "Ran…I…I wish you were gay."

Ran looked at her friend with shock and sorrow, "Ams…honey…you don't love me that way…you know that."

"I know…but think how perfect we would be together. I mean…we would be wonderful dating."

Ran smiled, "Yeah…we could be in a relationship and all…but, Ams, I love you very much…but…well there is no way in hell I am going to go down on you. I hate that taste. Hell, you know how guys will try and make you lick your fingers after they finger you?"

Amber smiled, "Ummm…yeah I love that."

Ran chuckled, "Well, you're a freak. I hate it. One guy tried to get me to taste myself one time and I about bit his finger off. I could marry you but I could not have sex with you. Baby, you are so beautiful…but there is no way I could make love to you…I'm sorry.

Amber giggled, "Well…to be truthful, right now I could not go down on you. Ran…you smell…when was the last time you showered?"

Ran laughed, "Ohhh…you are so mean…I will when I go home…but right now I am starving. Lets get something to eat."

Amber smiled, "I have a better idea. Patrick! Patrick!" Amber called out and a few moments Patrick opened the door wearing a pair of jeans and no shirt. His hair was wet.

"What…God I just got out of the shower." He asked.

Amber smiled her sweetest charming smile, "Ran and I are hungry…can you fix us something or go get us something."

"Damn…want to go out? I would like to get out for a while. Some of us are actually packing and I could use a break."

"Argh! Do I look like I can go out dressed like this. It would take me an hour at lease to get dressed and Ran had not showered in…ouch! Stop pinching me, Ran! Anyway we are not dressed to go out."

Ran pinched Amber as she stared…ogled…the girl's brother. Patrick was shirtless and Ran felt strong desire and lust for the man. She stared at what she felt was a perfect body and her eyes focused on his tattoo on his left breast. It was a skull with a knife going through the top of the skull inside a black triangle. Surrounding the triangle starting on the right side and working clockwise was a word on each side of the triangle. Swift, Silent, Deadly and over the top was the words U.S. Marines and under the word deadly was the word Recon. Ran had seen that tattoo plenty of times in the past and never got tired of looking at it. It was so masculine and she thought maybe she should ask Jason to get a tattoo. Her eyes then drifted to what she felt was the body of an Adonis and was snapped out of her gaze and dirty thoughts of this man doing things to her by Amber's voice.

"…and please…please get us something to eat. We're hungry and my ribs hurt and Ran just got hit by a car…so we are to beat up and sore to go anywhere." Amber looked at her friend for support and noticed the Asian girl was staring at her brother with lust in her eyes. "And for God's sake…put a shirt on. Ran is drooling and she just told me she has not had sex in several days and I am scared she is going to jump you…so please get dressed. I can't control her for long. You know better than to walk around half dressed around her. She's been in love with you since the first day she met you."

"Oh God! Ambeeeer!" Ran screamed and placed the pillow over her face.

Patrick blushed, "God…I never will figure you two out." He muttered and left the room.

Amber looked at her friend and even if she could not see the Asian's face she could tell the girl was blushing from the color of her arms. Amber got off the bed to go to the bathroom and gave Ran an evil grin. "Now we are even for you not coming to see me in the hospital." Amber laughed and shut the door to the bathroom.

Over the next few days until Amber moved, Ran skipped school and stayed with her friend and spent the night with her. She helped Amber finish packing…well start packing…and Patrick would hear the two laughing at times and crying at others. He was glad Ran was back in Amber's life; she needed her friend. On the Friday of the move they all got up early and the moving company came and packed their furniture in the van while Patrick moved a number of the boxes with some clothes and other things into a rented moving truck. They were going to drive to Georgia (something Amber complained about) and tow his car behind them. Jason showed up to help Patrick and see Amber off. Ran called him and they made up.

Patrick shook Jason's hand when he arrived and commented on how he had been reading about the teenager in the news papers' sports page. Jason shrugged, "Yeah, but I heard you were pretty good yourself."

Patrick smiled, "Well…I liked playing defense…got to hurt people that way. You brother was better through. He was good but both of us combined did not have your skill. He…well…he would have been proud of you, Jason. Hell he was when you played JV ball. He used to read me the news paper clippings your dad sent about you even then. He would brag that his little brother was going to play for USC and go pro. I think you should have chosen Notre Dame…but I guess we all have our faults." Jason chuckled and beamed with pride. He never knew his older brother was proud of him or liked anything he did.

Mr. and Mrs. Isuel also showed up to help the brother and sister move and when everything was finished goodbyes were said and Mrs. Isuel cried when she hugged Patrick and Amber goodbye. When Patrick hugged Ran the Asian girl gave him a tight squeeze and was shocked and pleasantly pleased when he kissed her on the lips even if it was in a brotherly fashion. Everyone left the apartment to leave Amber and Ran alone, each giving some made up excuse so the girls could have their time together. It was a tearful and heart wrenching scene as the girls hugged and made promises to visit one another and Patrick finally had to pry his sister from Ran's arms so they could leave. Neither girl wanted to break their embrace, because they knew when they did Amber would have to leave. Amber got in the rented moving van and stuck her head out the window and watched Ran standing on the sidewalk waving as they drove off. Ran stood there with tears in her eyes until the van turned a corner and vanished from her vision. Amber kept her head out the window waving to her friend and crying until the van turned the corner and Ran vanished from her sight. She wiped her eyes and grabbed Patrick's hand and squeezed it tight. The girl took a large breath and let it out slowly.

"Ok…I'm ready." She said and smiled at her brother. "Now tell me again about Savannah."


	24. Chapter 24

**Life goes on **

**Sam and Carly**

Weeks after Amber moved Sam tried to live her life as if she never met the Goth girl. The blonde cried her heart out in Carly's arms that day when she discovered she loved Amber and then read the letter, but the next day she got out of bed and went back to her life. Sam cried and got it out of her system and thought life goes on. She was still in love with Amber and still thought of the girl all the time and was even heart broken, but Sam Puckett did not dwell on the past. To everyone at school it was the same old Sam with some exceptions. The only person who knew what the blonde felt and was going through was her best friend Carly. The two were always together and rumors started they were dating. Both Sam and Carly ignored the rumors but did nothing to contradict them. They did not care what was said about them. They were friends again and that was what mattered. Sam would comment that the rumors would hurt Carly when it came to dating and Carly would laugh and tell her friend there weren't any boys in the school she wanted to date anyway. At times Carly would see her friend get a sad day dream look on her face and it made her sad. She knew Sam was thinking of Amber at those times and it hurt her to see her friend heartbroken. She did her best to try and get Sam to ask Ran or Jason how to get in touch with Amber and talk to her, but Sam would sadly tell Carly she hurt Amber enough and would honor that promise to her and then mutter it was too late anyway. People who were brave enough approached Sam and asked about Amber and which rumor was true and there were plenty. Sam would ignore most of them but some she felt she had to deny too protect the girl's reputation, like the one where Amber was raped and got pregnant and had to leave town to have the baby.

The few changes people did notice about Sam was her school work started to improve. She did her homework, made B's on her tests. She did struggle a little with her advanced math class, but she still improved and the teacher told her he as proud of her efforts. Sam was very pleased with herself when she started getting C's in the class. She even started behaving in school and stopped getting into trouble and fights. The teachers were surprised and fearful at first. They thought she was building up to pull a grand prank and just bidding her time before she graduated, but with the improvement of her class work they finally relaxed and smiled with pride when the blonde girls name came up in conversation in the teachers lounge or in conferences. They seemed proud of the change in Sam Puckett. Another change was her relationship with her mother. Sam called her more and more and her mother was a great comfort to her about Amber. Sam found out her mom could be a good listener and she even got to visit her mom and step father over the Thanksgiving break. Sam was surprised she liked the man a great deal and had to even protest when he suggested she move in with them and finish school in California. Sam had to do dome fast talking to get her mom to let her go back to Seattle and she promised to come back for Christmas. Some people would question why she changed or what made her change and others would just say she finally grew up, but Carly knew why. Sam changed because Amber asked her to.

It was the week after their Thanksgiving break and Sam was sitting in the cafeteria with Carly, they were having pizza in the cafeteria that day and Sam was craving pizza so they decided to eat at school. The girls were chit chatting and making plans for the weekend when Sam looked up and saw Tiffany Ambrose walking in the cafeteria toward the girl's restroom. Carly followed Sam's stare and grabbed her friend's hand.

"Sam, no…don't. You promised her and _me._ Don't do anything." The brunette pleaded.

Sam gave a cruel grin, "Yeah…but some promises I just can't keep…sorry, Carls." She stood up and walked to the bathroom. Carly felt a chill run over her body at the look in Sam's eyes. She knew that look from their years of friendship and that look scared her. Carly hated that look.

Tiffany, Maria, and Kiesha's life changed after their attack on Amber. The girls never knew Amber had so many people who liked her in the "freak" click. Everyone at school knew they attacked the girl in the bathroom even if the police dropped the investigation due to Amber not willing to testify. The three girls would find their lockers spray painted with words like bitch, cunt, whore, etc on some days. The lockers would be repainted but the next day the words where there again. They got threatening notes and emails almost everyday. To make matters worse in their minds, they lost their popularity with the "in crowd". They went too far and the popular kids disliked them for it. It was one thing to make fun of Amber but to do what they did was terrible. All three were kicked off the cheerleading squad by their teammates for trumped up reasons. Maria could not take the loss of popularity and transferred to a private school but still felt no remorse over what she did. Kiesha stopped hanging around Tiffany and focused her energies by joining the track team and did her best to make amends by being sincerely nice to the unpopular kids. She found solace in her guilt by volunteering for charity fund raisers and other activities she normally would not have done. She was still outcast by most of the school, but she did not care like Tiffany and Maria did. Tiffany was still a bitch and even if she lost her status she was not going to change and like Maria she felt no remorse over her part in Amber's beating but unlike Maria, they were not going to run her out of school. That was what made Sam so angry that day. She had seen the girls over the weeks and did nothing, but the smug look on Tiffany's face that day made her snap.

Sam walked into the bathroom and noticed two junior girls chatting by the sinks and mirrors while they fixed their makeup and saw Tiffany's feet in one of the stalls. No one else was in the bathroom. She walked up to the two girls.

"Leave…now." She whispered harshly and the girls knew Sam Puckett's reputation. Regardless if the blonde changed over the past weeks, she was still a bad ass and they wanted no part of her. They quickly left the bathroom and Sam pulled herself up to sit on the sink and waited. She smiled when she heard the toilet flush and a few moments later Tiffany walked out of the stall. She froze when she saw Sam sitting on the sink smiling. Tiffany looked around hoping someone else would be in the bathroom but she was alone with Sam.

"What's up, Tiffany?" Sam asked calmly and had a large smile on her lips.

"Oh…ummm…h-h-hey, Sam…ummm…so…how are...look, Sam…ummm…you…what do you want?" Tiffany stammered with fear in her voice. She was alone had no one to back her up and her cowardice came out.

Sam jumped off the sink and walked over to the other girl. Tiffany was taller than Sam by about two inches but it was not important. Tiffany's eyes followed the blonde in fear as Sam walked around her.

"Oh…just miss talking to you. You remember our little chats we used to have. Remember how much fun they were? Remember the funny names you would call me and Amber? God, I miss those times." Normally Sam did not taunt people when she was going to fight. She would just act and thought talking was a waste of time, but she was enjoying the taunting quite a bit this time. She was like a wild animal sensing fear in an opponent and it thrilled her.

"S-S-Sam…I…look…I'm sorry…ok…I'm sorry for the names I called you and…and please…what do you want?" Tiffany stammered and did not take her eyes off the blonde girl. Tiffany was used to being the bully who never had to actual back up her bullying in a fight. She relied on other people to fight for her.

"Umm…what do I want…Gosh, Tiff…good question. Well to put it simply…_I want to hurt you._ You hurt Amber pretty bad that night after school and well…I'm very fond of that girl and so…I have to hurt you...bad…very bad. Amber spent two days in the hospital…I figure when I am done with you…oh…maybe four or five days for you. I would tell you I don't want to hurt you, but hell we know that would be a lie. I'm going to enjoy it." Sam felt exhilarated over the look of fear on the red head's face.

"I-I-I don't know what you are talking about. I-I…please, Sam, I-I didn't do anything to her. It…it was Maria and Kiesha…not me. Please, Sam…don't…I…ooff." Tiffany doubled over in pain and gasped for breath after Sam punched her in the stomach. She fell to her knees and started to cry. Sam walked around her again and then pulled her head up by her hair.

"Lying, bitch! Tell me whore…tell me how Amber begged you to stop!" Sam slapped her face and Tiffany cried out and her head tried to snap to the left, but she was held tight by her hair. "Tell me how the girl pleaded for you to stop!" Sam slapped her other cheek. "I want to know, whore! I want to hear you beg like she did!" Sam pulled Tiffany by her long red hair into the stall and Tiffany cried out in pain and begged and pleaded as she was half dragged by her hair and half crawled. Sam smiled cruelly, she was having fun.

"Ohh…that's a start...but more, cunt! Beg more like _she_ did." Sam pushed the other girl's head down on the bathroom floor and held it tight to the tiles and Tiffany continued her sobbing and pleading.

"Did you know she could not see out of her eye for weeks? Did you know she had nightmares over what you did to her…maybe still does…well I am going to make sure you have fucking nightmares the rest of your life, bitch!" Sam kicked the girl in the stomach. "You pushed her head in the toilet…let's see how you like it, cunt!" Sam picked up Tiffany's head and shoved the pleading red head's head in the toilet. She held her head underwater as the girl kicked her feet. Sam mentally counted to ten and pulled the other girl's head up by her hair. Tiffany gasped for breath and once again started her pleas for Sam to stop. Sam ignored them.

"She bled, bitch, you made her bleed…I want to see you bleed now." Sam made a fist and raised her hand and pulled Tiffany's head up by her wet hair so she could look in the girl's eyes when she punched her. Sam wanted to see the blood splat and feel the bones of the other girl shatter when she punched her in the face to break her nose. Sam raised her fist higher and hesitated as she looked in the red head's tear filled eyes and heard the girl pleading. Two images flashed in Sam's mind. The first was of her father and mother in almost in the same position. Sam's father holding her mother's face up by her hair and her mother pleading with him not to hurt her anymore and Sam, who was five at the time, watched and cried as her father beat her mother badly that night and then turned his anger on his daughter. Sam remembered that night was the worse beating she ever got from her father. The next image was of two lovely tear filled green eyes and the owner of those remarkable eyes making her promise not to do anything to the girls who beat the Goth girl. Sam looked at the red head girl again and let go of her hair and pushed her head back to the dirty tile floor. "FUCK!" The blonde screamed and bent down to Tiffany's face. "You got lucky, bitch, and if you ever tell anyone about this…I will come back and kick your ass until you are half dead." The red head nodded and grabbed Sam's feet and thanked the blonde through her tears. Sam kicked her away and walked out of the bathroom to find Carly standing by the door with tears in her eyes.

"What? What are you doing?" Sam asked harshly.

Carly stepped closer to her friend, "I…I was making sure no one went in the bathroom. Is she…did you…Sam…is she…" the brunette pleaded for an answer to what happened.

Sam sighed, "Yeah…she's ok. Her pride may be hurt…but she's fine. I couldn't…I just…I was about to and…fuck! Come on, Carls, I'm starving and didn't get finish my pizza." Sam walked back to her table and sat down and finished her lunch as if nothing happened.

Later that night at Carly's house Sam told Carly what had happened and why she could not beat Tiffany like she wanted to. "I just kept thinking of my dad and then my promise to Amber…and I couldn't, Carls, I just couldn't. I wanted to…God I wanted to beat her and almost kill her…seriously…but I kept seeing _them _in my mind."

Carly hugged her blonde friend, "I'm proud of you, Sam, I am so proud of you."

Sam pushed Carly back, "Proud? Why? I should have beat her and then gone after the other two! That was what I wanted. I wanted to make them suffer and feel pain and see them bleed. Carly, I wanted to feel their bones break. I wanted it so bad…but I couldn't. How can you be proud of me for having feelings like that? How can you be proud of me for chickening out and not doing what I wanted? I…see, Carls, I told you I was like my father…and God I don't want to be…but I am." Sam started crying now, "Can't you see that, Carly? It's good that Amber left and I am not involved with her anymore…I would just hurt her more but physical this time…any girl I date it would be the same. I would hurt them and I couldn't live with myself if I did that. I don't want to be that person anymore, Carls. I see it. People who don't know me but know about me are scared to talk to me. And…my friends…I can see it…when they talk to me or when I'm around they get tense and are afraid to even disagree with me. Hell, I see it in you and Freddie sometimes…and you two are my best friends. I see when we argue or tease one another the looks you and him give each other. You look at each other to see if you've gone too far. I…I don't want to be like my dad. One day I want…I want to be able to love someone and not hurt them. To have a normal relationship with someone and not worry if I will hit them or beat them, but…but I can't love, Carls…I can never love anyone without hurting them too!"

Carly hugged her friend again, "Sam…don't you see why I am proud of you…you could have hurt Tiffany bad…but you didn't. You stopped yourself. That is why I am proud of you. Don't worry about wanting to hurt her…hell I even want to hurt people at times, but I don't. Everyone does at one time or another. The thing is you stopped yourself. I am proud of that. You are not your dad. You never will be! I know you Sam Puckett! You can love without hurting someone…you love me and never hurt me! Hell, you would never hurt me! I know that and damn it, Sam, so do you! You are not your dad and never will be!"

Sam gently pushed Carly away again and wiped her eyes, "Really? Do you mean that?" Carly nodded and Sam smiled, "Well…I am done being that person. I am finished being the person people are afraid of. I mean that…and I am tired of crying all the time! I hate crying!" Sam grinned and stood up. "I'm hungry…got any ham or other meat around here?"

Carly laughed and pointed to the refrigerator.

Tiffany did not show up for school the next day and it was later discovered she transferred to the east side public school. The incident in the bathroom was never discovered. Sam visited her mom and stepfather for Christmas and took Carly with her. Spencer had to go to Oregon with his fiancée to see her parents for the holidays and Sam did not want Carly to be alone. Carly thought it was nice to see Sam's mom again and liked her friend's stepfather as well. Sam's stepfather surprised her with a car for Christmas. It was a used two door Japanese coupe only a year old and very suitable for Sam. The blonde could not think him enough and told her mom before her and Carly drove back to Seattle she did good by marrying the man and she was proud of her. Sam's mother broke down crying and told Sam it was the first time her daughter told her she was proud of her. Sam left the house with a renewed love for her mom.

The weeks passed and Sam continued to make good grades and stay out of trouble at school as her eighteenth birthday approached. Carly wanted to have a huge party for her, like Sam had for her a month earlier, but Sam told her friend she just wanted a quite time with just them two and Freddie. Carly agreed and she took Sam, Freddie, and Nicole (Freddie's new girlfriend) to a club that allowed eighteen and over in but no drinking unless you were twenty one. Sam agreed and was not having a good time as she watched Carly dance with Freddie and an assortment of other boys (mostly college students) or Freddie dance with Nicole. Sam did really enjoy dancing but was not in the mood so she sat there bored and sipping her coke. She had to tell a number of boys she was not interested in dancing or accepting their drinks.

"Not having fun?" A voice asked her over the loud music and Sam turned to see a beautiful, tall girl of Latino decent. She had dark skin and long thick black hair. She was dressed in designer low cut jeans and a very stylish white blouse that was unbuttoned at the bottom and revealed a flat stomach and a belly button ring.

Sam shrugged, "Not really my type of place…but my best friend's idea for my eighteenth birthday." Sam pointed at Carly who was dancing with a nice looking college boy.

"Mind if I sit?" The girl asked and Sam nodded it was ok. "My name is Felicisima but my friends call me Felicia for short." She held out her hand and Sam took it and looked into a pair of sexy brown bedroom eyes.

"I'm Samantha but preferred to be called Sam…actually want to be called Sam. No one calls me Samantha…anymore. Nice to meet you."

"You friend is very pretty, Sam…and so are you. I'm kind of bored to and if you don't mind maybe we could chat. I normally don't hang out here, but like you I got dragged here by some friends." The girl pointed at a loud group of girls and boys at a table. They obviously were drinking quite a bit. "Guess I am the one taking them home huh?" Felicia laughed. "I normally hang out at the Willow downtown…" Felicia paused to see Sam's reaction. The Willow was a well know gay club that was a hot spot for the lesbian crowd.

Sam chuckled, "Never been there before. Have to be twenty one to get in…so you must be at least twenty one then?"

Felicia laughed again, "Good try…but if you know people…like I do…you can get in if you are not twenty one. But all you had to do was ask. I am twenty two and going to UW and a senior…and very glad to see you are not ashamed to talk to someone who goes to the Willow on occasion. "

Sam laughed, "Well…I am a senior too…in high school and I am glad to see you are not ashamed to be talking to a high school student. Plus just because you go to the Willow does not mean you are gay. Just like coming here does not mean you are straight." Felicia gave her a curious look and laughed.

"Yes you are right…I like you Sam, you have an attitude and I like that. Plus you are very pretty." Felicia said with a seductive grin. Sam rolled her eyes and glanced at Carly. She was dancing to a slow song and making out with the college boy. _Poor boy…he is going home horny and very unsatisfied tonight_, Sam smiled at her friend. She knew Carly was still a virgin but Sam liked to refer to her as a tease of kiss whore. She liked to kiss but that was all.

"Felicia, my friend Carly over there is my best friend in the world and I love her, but she can be a tease and ice queen when it goes further than making out. If anyone ever hurt her I would kill them. I am telling you this because I need to make sure that guy does not try anything with her she is not willing to do. So I have to keep an eye on her tonight plus drive her home since she had four drinks and she is not used to drinking and you have to drive your friends home."

Felicia nodded, "That's sweet you look after her…but umm…why tell me all that?"

Sam smiled, "Well I am gay and I assume you are gay or at least bi and I would like to go home with you or you me but I can't while I baby sit. So maybe since we are both bored we can go out side, get in my car, and fool around some." Sam figured what the hell. She was very horny and tired of masturbating to get off and this girl was gorgeous. If she got offended or said no…well fuck her.

Felicia smiled, "Wow…you are forceful huh? I like that as well. So…umm…do your seats drop all the way down?"

Sam grinned and stood up and took the older girl's hand and led her to her car. She stopped and whispered to Freddie to watch after Carly for a while and she will be back. Freddie looked Felicia up and down, got a punch on his shoulder by Nicole, and nodded. Sam and Felicia made out and Sam fingered the girl, who she found out was from Brazil, and made her cum. The blonde then dropped her seat back, took off her jeans and panties, and pushed the sexy college girls head down and told Felicia to go down on her until she came herself. Felicia commented she loved dominant girls and dropped her head to Sam's spread thighs. Thirty minutes later Sam, very satisfied but wanting more, walked back in the club holding Felicia's hand and saw Carly sitting at the table with Freddie and Nicole. Carly did not look to good. Sam kissed Felicia, gave the girl her cell number, told her to call her, and sat down next to Carly.

"Hey…you ok?"

"Sam…I don't feel good and that jerk I was dancing with tried to get me to go back to his dorm with him and told me all these terrible gross things he wanted to do to me or make me do to him. After I told him no he got mad and left. Plus…I think I'm going to be sick."

Sam chuckled and took Carly's hand and gently pulled her up and grinned. "Well if you would stop teasing them they would stop asking you…but come on Ice Princess…time to go home. Please just don't get sick in my car." The four left the club with Carly being helped by Sam and Freddie to the car. Carly did not get sick until she got to Sam's house. _Not a bad birthday…got to see Carls get a little drunk and had a sexy girl go down on me…not too bad, Sam Puckett._ Sam thought as she lay in bed with a slightly snoring Carly next to her.

Felicia surprised Sam the next day when she called and the two met for coffee later that afternoon. They started dating after Sam took the older girl back to her place after coffee and they spent the rest afternoon in bed. Sam liked the girl and she was very sexy, beautiful, and sexually submissive like she liked. Plus she liked dating an older girl it made other people at school jealous when a college girl as hot as Felicia would meet her after school sometimes. They dated for about two months before Sam broke it off. They really did not have much in common but sex and that was all they did when together, not that Sam complained since the sex was great and Felicia liked Sam to be dominant. But they never talked much. Sam got bored with her and broke it off. Felicia did not seem to upset and Sam figured she had another girlfriend or boyfriend anyway and just liked the novelty of dating a high school girl.

The weeks passed and Sam and Carly were excited spring break was coming soon. All the studying Sam was doing to get B's was very stressful for her. She had to work hard to get her B's. The girl's planned on going to visit Sam's mom and stepfather and he was going to take them on his sailboat for the four days. Sam hoped she would not get sea sick. The boat had two cabins and full amenities. Sam parked her car and caressed the steering wheel. She loved the car and thought she would never own one until she got out of school and got job and had to get a loan to buy one. _Yeah, mom you did good with Richard_, she thought and got out. She picked up her mail and walked into her house and started going through her mail and stopped at one letter. Sam read the return address and took a deep breath. _Oh shit! Ok calm down Sam…calm down…just your life in this letter. No big deal! _ The blonde slowly opened the envelope, unfolded the letter, and read it slowly focusing on every word. When she finished reading it she placed it carefully on the kitchen counter as if it would disappear if she did not handle it carefully. She stared at the letter one more time and started jumping up and down and screaming in excitement. The letter was from the University of Washington accepting her application for enrollment in the fall. Sam jumped around her kitchen and had to call someone. She picked up her cell phone and dialed the first number she that came to her mind. _She would want to hear from me over this_, Sam thought, _Amber would have to take my phone call for this news, right? I'll just tell her about it and that is all. We don't have to talk long. I just know she would want to hear about it. _The phone rang once and went to a recorded message saying this number was no longer an active number. Sam pressed the end button on her phone and gave the cell a sad look. _Wow…that was unexpected; she even changed her number so she would not have to talk to me…I…I guess it really is over. _Deep down Sam always thought just maybe…just a small hope…Amber would want to talk to her again. The blonde sighed sadly and dialed the next person she thought of. Somebody she really needed to discuss her going to college with.

"Hello?" The female voice answered.

"Mom…it's me…Sam…I…I need to tell you something…and well…I have to ask you something."

"Sure, Sam, I guess it could not wait 'till next week. Are you ok? And please do not tell me you are not coming. Richard already has the boat ready to go…he is so excited. I'm not through…I hate sailing."

"Mom…I…I…" Sam started to cry in her happiness, "I…mom…I…"

"Sam, honey, are you ok? Why are you crying?"

"Mom…I…I got into college! Into UW…the University of Washington! I…I got in and I want to go!"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone; a long pause. "Mom…mom…I know it's going to be expensive but I can get a job this summer and get some loans…I…I want this mom, please…I want to go." Sam pleaded her case.

"Samantha, honey…of *sniff* of course you *sniff* you are going! I *sniff* I would not hear *sniff* otherwise. We *sniff* we will worry about the *sniff* money latter. Ohhhh…Sam…*sniff* I am so proud of you, baby, so proud of you!"

Sam's mother broke down in sobbing tears and that made Sam cry more as a rush of deep love for her mother washed over her. The two females finally calmed down and made plans to discuss Sam going to college when she came down for spring break. After an hour phone call Sam hung up and called Carly. Carly was so happy for her friend and hung up telling Sam she was on her way over with Freddie and Spencer and they were going out to celebrate and to dress nice. Sam once more felt the feeling of deep affection wash over her when she thought of her friends. She was smiling wide as she went into her closet and pulled out a simple black skirt and the white blouse that went with the skirt. Sam changed and brushed her long hair while looking in the mirror. She frowned and removed the price tags from the dress and blouse. _God…I forgot Amber brought these for me and I never wore them…damn I miss her._ Carly showed up a little later and they all went out for a nice dinner to celebrate Sam going to UW. They were sitting at the table after they ate and talking and laughing when Sam thought of something.

"Hey, Carls…how come we didn't go out when you got into about the million schools you applied for? And you to Freddie? Hell, you even got a baseball scholarship and we did not celebrate then?" Sam questioned the two and Carly and Freddie exchanged worried looks.

"Umm…well, Sam, I…well…we did not…umm…"

"Oh for God's sake, Freddie, spit it out. We did not really know if you would get accepted or even want to go. That is why we are celebrating and why we are so damn happy for you!" Carly exclaimed and looked at Sam.

Sam just smiled in smug satisfaction and thought how funny her two best friends and even her self doubted her, but one person never did doubt her at anytime. Sam held her glass up, "To college." Spencer, Carly and Freddie clicked their glasses to Sam's and repeated, "To college."


	25. Chapter 25

**Life goes on continued**

**Amber**

It had been three weeks since Amber settled down in Savannah. So far she really liked the city and was happy there was no snow. Amber hated the snow and she giggled and teased Ran over the phone when her friend told her it was already snowing in Seattle. Amber talked to Ran at least four or five times a week and was filled in on the latest gossip. She laughed until her side hurt when Ran told her people thought the Goth girl had to move away because she was pregnant. Amber told Ran to tell people she was expecting triplets. Amber stopped having nightmares about her attack and she healed mentally and physically. Amber would always end the conversation asking if her friend had seen Sam. Ran avoided the subject and talked about something else and Amber let it go which she knew was best. She missed Ran so much…and Sam. Amber still had a few crying fits at night when she was in bed over Sam, but it was getting better. She would never forget her first love as promised but she hoped one day she would get over the pain.

Amber enjoyed the city and history behind it. She loved how old it was and visiting the sites and places that were hundreds of years old. She even went on some of the tours on weekends and loved the ghost tour and the tour of the plantation homes. Amber could vision herself sitting on the large wrap around front pouches, wearing a hoop dress, and talking with her friends. The girl even connected with two of her mother's best friends and the ladies had a fit over Amber. They kept telling her how scary it was how much she looked like her mother at seventeen. Amber would smile at their politeness, she knew she didn't. That was another thing she found charming with the city, everyone was so polite. She had people twice her age calling her m'am or honey or dear. Amber loved it. She also found the accent of the people wonderful. After three weeks she would still giggle when she heard _y'all_ or other local dialect words. She also adored their townhouse in the historical district. The home was over a hundred years old and at night she could hear the creaks of the old house, but she loved it. It was in fantastic shape and within walking distance to the river front and one of the town square parks the city was famous for. Amber even liked it that Patrick was home most nights unless he had to work the late shift on occasion, but even then he would still come home. Amber would always have either his dinner or breakfast waiting for him. Her brother did make the mistake of giving Amber a tour of the plant he worked at and if he was not one of the bosses he would have beaten more than a dozen young men up due to their ogling of his sister and some of their comments. Amber just flashed her flirty charming smile at the boys when they would fall over themselves to introduce themselves to her while Patrick made mental notes on which ones to talk to and discuss the rules of work place behavior with. Amber found the older men more charming than the younger ones due to their politeness and how they acted like gentleman. Overall she liked it…she just missed her friend Ran and of course Sam was always in her thoughts.

After they had been in their new place for a week, Mr. Isuel called and told Patrick that their apartment sold and the money from the sell was deposited in Patrick's bank account. Patrick took most of the money and put it in Amber's college fund and decided it was time to get Amber a car. After visiting all the car dealerships in the city, Patrick was about to go crazy. Amber took the same approach to picking out a car like shopping for a dress. Patrick was exhausted and had to tell Amber no several times when she wanted certain cars like a supped up Mustang. Finally Amber looked at her brother.

"I want a truck."

Patrick was shocked, "A truck! What in the hell are you going to do with a truck?"

"Well…we live in Georgia and I see a lot of girls drive trucks. I want a big truck with those knobby tires and…what do they call it…wheel drive. Yeah a wheel drive truck."

Patrick laughed, "First it is called four wheel drive and you do not need a big truck. It you really want a truck we can get you one of those small ones."

"Nope. I want a big one…with four wheel drive." Amber pouted. It took her five days, but her pouting and charm finally wore Patrick down and they got Amber a big four wheel drive truck. Amber had to let Patrick drive it off the lot to their house while she drove Patrick's car since it was so big and she was afraid to drive it. For the next week Amber had to use Patrick's car while he drove the truck since Amber could not drive something that big to well. Patrick actually liked the truck and driving it and one day finally asked Amber if she would prefer to have his car and he will keep the truck.

"Well…I guess…I mean…do you really think I can't learn to drive it?" Amber asked in a disappointed voice.

"Yeah, Amber…it's just too big for you. I know my car is old, but it is in great shape…real great shape…and runs perfect. I put a lot of work and money in that car. Hell, most of the parts for the engine are only two or three years old. It's safer for you. Plus it suites a cute girl more than a truck does."

Amber sighed sadly, "I guess…but can I drive the truck every now and then? Maybe even in the mud?"

Patrick smiled, "Sure…I'll teach you how."

Amber walked to her room that night with a huge smile on her face. It took Patrick a full week to realize he had been manipulated and Amber always wanted his car from the first time they went looking for cars and could not stand the truck and knew he would love it.

Amber started her new school a week after they got to Savannah and was so nervous her first day. One thing she did get right, she thought she looked so cute in her uniform when she admired herself in the mirror her first day. She was going to pay attention to the other girls and see if she could maybe shorten the length without getting into trouble. She wore her blue plaid and pleated skirt and opted for white thigh highs instead of the knee high socks. She decided to wear a tie with the white blouse. She wore her top button undone and the tie loose from her neck. The girl wore her thick black hair up the first day and braided the two red locks and they hung down so they framed her face. Her bruises looked so much better and she could see out of her eye again. Amber decided she would tell people who asked that she was in a car accident. Amber looked at herself and then put on her stylish reading glasses she decided to try and wear all day until they made her head hurt. She applied her black makeup around her eyes and decided on crimson lipstick to match her nail polish. She again smiled at how cute she looked and frowned. _Funny, I am going to school dressed like how Sam liked me to dress when we used to play our games before…no, no, no…not now…do not think of her now_.

Amber drove to school thinking she looked very cute but to other people the small brunette was very sexy. It took her a couple of weeks, but she got used to the school and even met a few girls to be friends with. It was a small school and her senior class only had forty two students and none of them teased her or made fun of her semi-Goth makeup. She found the classes wonderful and even challenging at times. Amber was soon the top of her class and got a reputation of being a very intelligent girl and brainiac. She liked that reputation compared to the reputation at her former school. She also had to decline a number of boys when they asked her out, stating she just got out of a relationship and was not ready to date yet. Yes Amber liked her new school and was even invited to a sleep over party by one of her new friends, Brittany. Most of the other students, especially the boys, found Amber charming and very pretty and she seemed to fit right in. When Amber first started the school she was afraid it would be full of rich snobby kids and was happy to be proven wrong. There were a few rich kids, but they did not seem snobby at all. Most of the other students were from middle class families where both parents worked and struggled to afford for their children to go to a private school. Amber found out the private schools in Georgia were different than the ones she knew of in Seattle. In Seattle the private schools were for the rich kids while here they were for parents who worked hard so their children could get a better education. Amber discovered the public school system in Georgia was not the best in the world. She thought most of the other students were adorable and friendly and loved the way they talked and not at all like she expected them to be.

Amber arrived at Brittany's home in the suburb area of the city and told Ran she had to go. The Goth girl had been talking to her friend on the phone and asking advice on how to act and to help calm her nerves. Amber was very nervous. Ran just teased her and kept reminding her friend to just be herself and she would have the other people eating out of her hand in no time. Amber checked her make makeup in the vanity mirror and smiled. She had to look her best if she was going to meet Brittany's mother. Brittany invited her to dinner and the other girls would arrive later. Amber's new friend seemed excited her mother was actually going to cook since she worked all the time. Amber got out of the car and smoothed her short black and red pleaded skirt and took a deep breath. She checked her makeup one more time in the side view mirror just in case. Amber jumped when she heard a voice behind her.

"Yeah…you look good so no need to check yourself…you look damn good."

Amber turned and saw a very good looking young man with long hair of about twenty staring at her. He was dressed in tight jeans and black tee shirt with "Guns N Roses" on the front and a light tan leather jacket he wore unzipped. In his left hand was a motorcycle helmet. Amber gave him a charming smile, "Hello, I'm Amber St. Claire. A friend of Brittany's." She held out her hand as the boy approached her. He took her hand and gently shook it.

"I'm Burr…Burr Davis, Brit's sister. Nice to meet you Amber." Amber giggled at the name.

The boy smiled, "Yeah…I know…I got stuck with my grandfather's name. You must be a new friend of Brit's. Most of her friends are not as pretty as you and dress more conservative."

Amber blushed and adjusted her skirt subconsciously. Burr laughed, "Oh…I like it…a lot. I was about to take a ride on my bike before dinner and just had a brilliant thought. Want to go for a ride. I have an extra helmet. "

Amber blushed and thanked him but declined and was glad to hear Brittany's voice behind her. "Burr, leave my friends alone. God…can I have at least one friend you don't hit one? Stephanie would not like it!"

The boy looked past Amber's shoulder and smiled, "Well, Britt, if your friends weren't as pretty as Amber here I would not hit on them. And for your information, little sister, what my girl friend does not know will not hurt her." He turned around and took a few steps and looked over his shoulder at Amber and smiled, "The invite always stands, Amber, just let me know if you want a ride…on my bike."

"God, Burr, you are so disgusting!" His sister yelled and the boy just laughed and walked away.

Amber turned to face Brittany; she stood about five five and little over weight, not fat but a little chubby. The girl had short straight blonde hair she wore a little above her shoulders and a very cute face and naturally tan skin. Amber liked her. She had a very bubbly personality, a great sense of humor and was full of confidence. Brittany was very popular and everyone at school liked her and she had a habit of talking fast and a little scattered at times to where people would assume she was a classic blonde air head, but she was very smart in her school work. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a long sleeve tee shirt. She smiled at Amber and took her hand.

"Come on…let's get inside. It's chilly out here today. And sorry about my brother…he's a pig. Hey, I didn't know tonight was going to be so formal…and did you bring your jamies?"

Amber got her over night bag from her car and allowed the girl to lead her in the house. Amber was introduced to the blonde girl's mother who was almost a carbon copy of her daughter.

"Mom, this is Amber. Amber, my mom."

Amber stuck out her small hand, "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Davis."

The woman smiled and wiped her hand on a hand towel and shook Amber's hand. "Oh please…call me Susan and I gave up the Mrs. when I got rid of Mr. Davis. A pleasure to meet you, dear, Britt told me all about you. You are her knew Yankee friend."

Amber blushed at the insult, "Gesh, mom, she thanks you insulted her…Amber, she did not mean it in a bad way. These old Southern women call everyone born north of South Carolina a Yankee…she did not mean anything by it."

"Oh…ok…well…nice to meet you, Susan." Amber said softly and Susan Davis took her hand in both of hers.

"Oh, honey, I am sorry…it really was not an insult. Please…forgive me." She smiled at Amber in such a friendly way that made Amber smile.

"It's ok…really…and my mom was born here in Savannah."

Susan laughed, "See, Britt, I knew she was a good girl." Brittany rolled her eyes and Amber giggled. "Oh by the way, dear, you father called and cancelled his plans for dinner next week…as usual."

"No biggie…I was not looking forward to it anyway…'Brittany, you have gained weight, Brittany you should let your hair grow, Brittany you need to wear a dress more, Brittany you are just a poor excuse for a daughter and I am so ashamed of you!' I could do without all that." Amber noticed a little sadness in the girl's voice.

The girl's mother sighed, "Yeah…well I was married to him for twelve years…so I got you beat." Brittany laughed as Mrs. Davis turned to Amber, "So, dear, are your parents still married?"

Amber looked down at her feet and felt very uncomfortable. Not at the particular question, she had no problem telling people her mom and dad died. She was uncomfortable with the entire scene. Apparently this family was very open and had no secrets.

"Umm…my mom and dad died when I was thirteen…but yeah they were married."

"See, mom, God you and your big mouth!" Brittany yelled at her mother.

"Oh, Amber…I am so sorry…I…I...damn, I do have a big mouth sometimes. Trust me I am normally not like this. It's just my ex gets me so angry at the way he treats his daughter. I wish he would jump all over his son for a change…may straighten that boy up a little. But no, God forbid if he has to yell at his precious boy…see there I go again. Amber dear, we really are not this crazy…I promise. So do you live with relatives?"

Amber smiled, "It's ok, really…and I live with my older brother. We moved here because he got a job here."

"You should see her brother, mom, a total hottie…sorry, Amber; saw him when he used to come pick you up sometimes. All the girl's talk about him. God, mom, he is beyond fine."

Amber blushed and said it was ok and she was used to it. She mentioned Burr was cute and Brittany laughed and her mom chuckled, "Amber, you seem like a very sweet girl so a warning. I love my son dearly, but stay away…he is no good. I hope you don't have a bad boy fetish."

"Yeah, ask Melissa tonight about him…she dated him for a few weeks…she can tell you all about my brother and to stay away."

Amber blushed, she did have a bad boy or bad girl fetish, "Umm…no I was just commenting on him…that's all."

Both mother and daughter laughed and Brittany told her mom they would be in her room until dinner. Brittany took Amber to her room and they talked and chatted for a while and Amber gave Brittany a semi makeover when the blonde girl begged her to fix her makeup like hers. When she was done, Amber gave the girl a mirror and they both laughed. The look did not suite the blonde at all. They ate and had a nice dinner and Amber relaxed more as the conversation went back to normal and she discovered she really like Brittany's mom and got a little jealous over the relationship between mother and daughter. Not angry jealous, just jealous she wished she had a mom and would wonder briefly if her and her mother would laugh and joke and tease another like these two or would it be more like Ran and her mom. They were very close, but it was more Ran teasing her mom on purpose just to irritate the women. After dinner their two other friends arrived, Melissa and Kathy. Melissa was a very pretty light skin black girl with a fantastic body that made Amber wish her boobs were bigger. Melissa was popular with the boys and was the type of girl who used her looks to get by in life. She was a shameless flirt but very charming. Amber liked her for her confidence and even if she used her body and knew she looked great she was anything but stuck up. Kathy was a mousy girl who Amber liked the most. Kathy was thin and had short dark brown hair that always looked uncombed and she never wore makeup and wore a thick pair of glasses. She was well like by the girls at school, but the boys ignored her. Kathy was very political and very liberal in her views and she would say or do things at school like try to organize some form of protest and constantly got in trouble for her actions. Amber smiled when she remembered first seeing the girl. It was her first day at the new school and she was waiting to meet her advisor and heard Kathy in the advisors office yelling and screaming it was her right of free speech to protest the right to choose on the abortion issue and the advisor mentioning yes it was but she should not have used some of the language on her signs and since this was a private school she was not entitled to free speech. Amber remembered the girl storming out of the office after she was given a three day suspension. Amber thought she was very cute and thought the boys were missing out not getting to know her because she was very funny and smart and a little wild if what she said about some of the things she did was true.

The girls set up in the living room for their spend the night party and had plenty of junk food and various movies for the night. The girls changed into their pajamas and settled in. Brittany's mom left them alone for the night and Burr went out and told his mom he would not be home until the next day. He gave Amber a leer and a wink, which made Melissa huff, and left. Amber knew it was silly and childish, but she was having fun. Besides sleeping at Ran's or Ran at her house she never had a real spend the night party and was enjoying herself. The talk soon turned to boys and who at school was cute and who they liked; typical teenage girl subjects. All three of them of course mentioned Amber's brother and how hot he was. Amber just rolled her eyes. The conversation started to get more personal as the night went along.

"Ok…who was the worse boy you dated?" Kathy asked the group.

"Worse how…with sex or the way you were treated?" Brittany asked.

Amber blushed a little and Melissa chimed in, "Both…I'll go first…worse in sex was Steve…God he sucked...and not in a good way. Worse in the way he treated me would have to be…" "Burr" the other two girls said before Melissa could.

"Yeah, a real jerk."

Brittany laughed, "Yeah, but you kept dating him for a while. If he was that bad…and I know he is…why?"

Melissa grinned and held her hands apart about a foot and a half, "Because he is so huge…that's why."

"Oh gross!" Brittany yelled and Kathy smiled with interest, "Really…umm…" They all laughed except Amber who blushed. She never did like discussing her sex life with other people. She was not a prude by any means as her sexual partners could attest to, but to her sex was between her and her partner. Plus she did not want it to slip she was bi sexual. She had no idea how the girls would react.

"What about you, Amber…any dark secrets about your boyfriends?" Melissa asked her.

Amber shrugged, "Well…I guess this guy named Wynn would be the worse in both categories." She said plainly hoping they would move on to another subject.

"Was he a boyfriend of just a hook up?" Kathy asked.

"Well…I… not a boyfriend. I thought I wanted him to be…but later was glad he wasn't."

"So did you leave any broken hearts back in Seattle?" Kathy asked.

Amber smiled sadly, "Well…umm…no broken hearts in Seattle…can we just change the subject."

Kathy scooted over to her and placed an arm around her, "Awww…can't you see girls…she did not leave a broken heart but had hers broken. Poor girl…this calls for chocolate why you tell us all about the jerk!" They other two girls agreed and Melissa handed Amber some chocolate candy, "Cheer up, Amber, they are plenty of boys at school who are interested in you…I finally have some competition and glad about that…I could not handle them all myself."

Kathy snorted, "Yeah you could…you're a whore." The girls laughed and even Amber chuckled. She did not want to talk about Sam but Kathy was persistent. "So tell us all, Amber, we are here to help."

The three girls wanted details and Amber did not want to give them, "Well…it was the classic I loved…Sam…and Sam loved another girl…that's about it."

"No way, not that easy…we want more." Brittany said, "I mean…did y'all date or was it you being in love and he did not know you even existed. Did he cheat on you? Spill it girl!"

Amber told them a little as possible and they seemed satisfied but she did notice Kathy giving her an odd look. Later that night Kathy said she wanted more popcorn and asked Amber to go with her to the kitchen. Amber said ok and left Melissa and Brittany watching some slasher movie she was not enjoying anyway.

"So…you ex, Sam, she did a number on you huh?" Kathy asked when they were in the kitchen.

Amber shrugged, "Yeah…I guess…I mean she was…is a wonderful person and we got along great except for…well…I could not compete with a girl named Carly. You know the type…like Melissa, prettiest girl in the school, perfect in everyway and to make things worse Samantha had been in love with Carly for a long time and…"

"I knew it!" Kathy exclaimed in a whisper, "I knew it…Sam was a she and her name is Samantha. So are you bi or a lesbian?"

Amber took a step back with a look of horror on her face, "I…that was not fair! You tricked me!" Amber was angry at the other girl.

Kathy chuckled, "Yeah…I did…and for that I'm sorry. But after listening to you I kind of figured it out. Don't worry, Amber…God…like I care if you are gay or not. I am Miss. Liberal remember, and an active supporter of gay rights, etc, etc."

Amber smiled, "What about Brittany and Melissa…you won't tell them will you? I…I…well I went through a tough time…a very tough time…at my old school because of it and other things."

Kathy smiled sadly, "The umm…bruises on your face, huh? Yeah I know a beating when I see it…been there on the receiving end before. Hun, I have known both of them since we were five. Neither will care…I know that for a fact. True some kids at school are not open minded as us…and Britt's mom may freak a little. I know Britt would be cool with it and hell Melissa would flirt with you…I love her but she's a whore and flirts with anybody just to flirt. But I did have an ulterior motive when I suspected you were into girls."

Amber gave the girl a shocked look, "Kathy…look…I think you are cute and I like you…but…well…I just got my heart broken and…"

Kathy laughed, "God, Amber…not me…I not into girls. But well…I…we…have a friend we have known for years and she goes to Temple…a very conservative religious private school…anyway…she is gay and well…maybe we could introduce you to her and you can talk to her. Her mom and dad are real strict and conservative and don't know. They would disown the poor girl. I don't mean to date her…even is she is a doll…but be a friend to her. Neither of us can understand what she is going through and we can tell she needs someone her own age to talk to. So…umm…maybe just meet her?"

Amber smiled at the other girl's loyalty and concern for a friend and that was what made up Amber's mind. "Sure…we can meet. I mean…I am no counselor or anything, but talking would not be a problem."

Kathy smiled, "Thanks, Amber…I know it is weird, but she does need someone and we can tell she hurts sometimes. The four of us grew up with one another and her dad sent her to Temple because he felt it was better for her. They are so fucking strict there. Hell…the girls have to wear dresses or skirts that can't go above the knees and the boys have to have short hair…very religious school. And…well…don't take this the wrong way and it is meant as a very high compliment…I don't think you are very conservative."

Amber laughed, "Yeah…well…true…so umm…popcorn is done. By the way…I do like boys too…more into girls, but I have dated boys and not opposed to it."

Kathy got the popcorn from the microwave and the girls went back to the living room. Kathy told the other two that Amber wanted to meet Dahlia (the girl's name) and they both gave the Goth girl a curious look and Brittany smiled at her and Melissa actually winked and moved to sit next to Amber.

"God, Melissa…you are such a slut! You are not even into girls!" Kathy said and gave Amber a look that read "I told you so."

Melissa laughed, "Yeah…but I find lesbians so sexy…and Amber is very sexy if she was straight and now she is even more so."

Amber blushed but actually enjoyed Melissa's flirtations the rest of the night. She liked it because it made her feel attractive and knew they were harmless plus Melissa knew not to overstep the line. Amber thought the pretty black was a pro at flirting. She knew how to make herself sexy but not go overboard. As she settled down to sleep, with Melissa getting closer, Amber was glad she made some new friends.

The next Saturday Amber met her knew friends at a coffee shop on the river front and she met Dahlia. Amber was shocked when she first met the girl. She really did not know what to expect but the beautiful girl sitting next to Kathy was a surprise to her. Dahlia looked as if she was Indian decent (Amber later found out her family was from Sri Lanka) and had very dark black straight hair, sexy dark eyes, and beautiful dark skin. She was taller than Amber, as most people her age were, and had a sexy voluptuous body. But her face was what drew Amber in. She was very pretty and looked exotic and had beautiful natural red lips and the bottom one stuck out a little that gave her a very adorable pouting look. Dahlia wore just a pair of faded jeans and plain red blouse and light red leather jacket. For the first time since Sam, Amber felt herself physically attracted to another girl. She did not include the blonde surfer girl she met at that party. That was not a normal night for her. Amber wished she would have dressed more…sexy instead of the plain white sundress and vanilla colored sweater. _No…no…calm down…you just have not had sex in a long time…hell you even got a little horny last week when Melissa was flirting with you…you love Samantha…but she's gone to you forever…no! Just friends, Amber…just friends_, Amber scolded herself for her thoughts as she walked to greet the girls.

Kathy introduced the girls and when Dahlia commented how nice Amber was dressed Melissa laughed and said they learned Amber never wore anything but dresses and skirts. Kathy told Amber her and the other two girls were going to walk up and down River Street to meet guys and left Amber alone with the other girl. As soon as they left Dahlia's name was called that her coffee was ready and asked Amber if she wanted anything, Amber declined and watched the other girl walk away. _God…she does have a nice butt…it looks…well…big and firm…but not too big….stop it, Amber…stop it…you are not ready for this! Yeah but you are so tired of masturbating and it would feel so nice to feel another person's arms around you and to actually make love to a girl instead of yourself….no! no! no! Not ready_! Amber argued with herself until the other girl came back with an iced latte. The girl sat down and looked around nervously. Amber sighed; she was nervous as well and realized she was set up. Her new friends were setting her up on a blind date.

"So…ummm…how long…damn…sorry…ok…I am nervous about this." Amber stammered.

Dahlia smiled and Amber thought it was a wonderful smile, "God…me too…I am…well…I think Kathy did not tell you the whole truth huh? You did not expect a date did you?"

Amber shook her head, "No…she said…well…God I suck at this…she said that you…well…you needed someone to talk to about…ummm…being gay."

Dahlia laughed, "Well she got that right. She told me that and did tell me it was a blond date. Sorry if you were not expecting it. I can leave if you like."

Again Amber shook her head, "No…we can talk, but I have to be honest…I just got out of a relationship a while back and it did not end well. I don't know if I am ready for anything."

"Amber, I am not going to try and seduce you. Kathy was right when she told you about me…I have…well…I have never been with a girl before…so…ummm…don't worry about me trying to get you in bed. I…well…I don't really have many people to talk to about my feelings…I mean…none at all really…no one who understands."

Amber stood up and looked at the stunned girl who thought she was leaving, "I decided I do want coffee…and to talk with you if that is ok." Amber felt sorry for the girl. She never had to worry about her feelings or any type of personal struggle. She just accepted who she was and that was it. But she knew Sam had a hard time at first when Carly rejected her and she knew other girls and boys did to. Amber decided she would be the girl's friend.

Dahlia smiled, "I would like that…and Kathy said you were pretty…but she did not tell me how pretty you are."

Amber blushed and ordered her coffee and sat back down. The two girls talked for hours and Amber really liked the other girl. Both girls agreed to be friends not to get into personal discussions about sex since they both felt that was private, but Amber did ask Dahlia how she knew she was gay and the other girl told her she had been with a boy sexually and could not stand it but she truly just knew. She thought of girls sexually all the time and was attracted to girls and not boys. Amber explained she was bi and even told Dahlia a little about Sam and talked a lot about her friendship with Ran. Dahlia explained she was adopted and loved her mom and dad very much but they were very strict religiously and was afraid to tell them she was gay. Amber told her parents can be a surprise but to tell them only when she was ready to. After a few hours and several cups of coffee Dahlia said she had to go and the girls exchanged phone numbers and agreed to a second date. Dahlia mentioned she had a lacrosse game next Saturday and hoped they could go out afterwards. Amber agreed and even suggested she come to the game and Dahlia said that would be great since Kathy, Melissa and Brittany come to a lot of them and her parents would not suspect anything. Dahlia laughed and told Amber she was adorable when the Goth girl had to ask what lacrosse was. Amber admitted she was not into sports. Dahlia said it was fine and even told Amber she at least hoped she was into people who play sports. Amber sighed, _God if you only knew!_

Amber and Dahlia went out three more times as friends over the next couple of weeks and got closer and talked more and more. Amber liked the girl…too much and had to fight herself from making advances on her new friend. Dahlia seemed to consider Amber only as a friend and admitted she had a huge crush on a girl at her school but of course that girl was straight. On their third "date" Amber met Dahlia at her last lacrosse game of the year and while she did not understand the game or sports in general, Amber did come to the conclusion Dahlia's team was really terrible, but the Sri Lankan was good herself. Their team lost and after the game Dahlia walked up to Amber with a smile and did not seem too concerned they lost. Totally opposite than Ran, when she lost Amber discovered a long time ago not to talk to her best friend for at least an hour or two or would get her head bit off.

"Hey, Amber…glad you came. So I can go take a shower and talk to mom and dad for a minute and we can leave. I…well…would you like to meet them?"

Amber shook her head, "No…I'm sorry…but I don't think they would like me from the things you said about them. Plus they way I am dressed…well…they may freak or something." Amber was wearing a simple pleated black dress that fanned out and came just above her knees, a black and red striped corset that was low cut and pushed her small breasts up to give her a little cleavage and a short black leather jacket over that. She wore her hair down and black thigh highs and on her hands were fingerless black lace gloves that ended at her elbows.

Dahlia grinned, "Well you look great…wish I could wear clothes that sexy…but seriously…my mom and dad are not that bad. Come on; they want to meet you anyway."

Amber followed her friend reluctantly and met the girl's parents. Dahlia was right they were not as bad as she said. They did seem very conservative and made sure their daughter understood her curfew, but they were polite to Amber. The mother even complemented Amber on her skirt but did frown at the corset. Dahlia got her clothes from the car and said she was going to the locker room to shower. Amber suggested she shower at her house and the girl agreed. Patrick was working a double shift as he did every other weekend and would not be home until the following morning.

Amber was sitting on her bed talking to Ran on the phone, her friend called as soon as they entered the house. Normally Amber would be polite enough to ask Ran if they could talk later, but Dahlia waved her to go ahead and talk. Amber talked to Ran as she got a clean towel from the closet and wash cloth and walked into the room to see Dahlia pulling off her shirt. Amber stared…she could not help herself. The other girl's stomach was flat and her chest large and her hips very curvy.

"…umm…sorry, Ran…did not hear what you said." Amber averted her gaze when she realized she was staring. She moved to the bed and tried to focus on her phone conversation but Dahlia, with her back turned, pulled down her shorts and Amber's heart jumped. _Oh…God…please…please…don't do this to me…_ "…what…no I am listening to you! God…I just got…well…something caught my attention." Amber said in the phone but stared at Dahlia's butt. It was larger than Sam's but not to large and Amber thought it was sexy. She averted her gaze and blushed when Dahlia turned around. "Ran…ummm…can I call you back later…love you to, bye." Amber hung the phone up and shifted on the bed uncomfortably. She was embarrassed she got caught staring. Dahlia walked closer to her and stopped when she stood in front of Amber and used her knees to spread the Goth girl's legs apart. Amber let out a small whimper and bit her lower lip.

"Amber…can…I know we are friends…but I want to kiss you…can I." Amber bit her lower lip harder and looked up at the girl and nodded as he let out another small whimper.

Dahlia leaned down and her lips pressed against Amber's and soon her tongue slid into Amber's slightly opened mouth. Amber whimpered again and let out a moan of pleasure when Dahlia moved her mouth to her neck. Amber tried to reach up and grab the other girl but found her hands only touched air and she let out another whimper this time in disappointment as the other girl pulled her mouth from her neck. Amber opened her eyes and panted as she looked at her friend.

"Amber…I…well…I told you I never been with a girl…and…I…I'm sorry…I know we agreed to be friends, but you are so damn beautiful and when you look at me with those eyes…God such green eyes…I…I can't help it. I'm sorry if I stepped over the line."

Amber smiled, "Dahlia…its ok. I wanted you to kiss me…God I wanted to you to kiss me from the first day I saw you…but…I…I…"

"You are still in love with this Samantha girl…I understand. I appreciate your honesty…but…well how long are you going to…ohhh…never mind." Dahlia picked the towel and wash cloth off the bed and felt Amber grab her arm. She looked at the other girl with a curious look in her beautiful brown eyes.

"Dahlia…I…well…I don't know how long…but right now I do know I want you to kiss me again." Amber looked up nervously and relaxed when the other girl smiled and their lips met once more. This kiss was more passionate and Amber let out a squeaky moan of pleasure when Dahlia started kissing her ear. Amber lay back and pulled the other girl on top of her and wrapped her arms around her and slipped her hand under the girl's panties to feel her naked butt. Dahlia moaned but lifted her head and looked into those amazing green eyes_. Damn…she is so irresistible and so sexy! S_he thought and smiled shyly.

"Amber…I've never done it with a girl…are you sure you want to? I…what if I am not…well…I don't know things and stuff."

_GOD! JUST STOP TALKING AND TAKE ME! CAN'T YOU SEE I AM SO DAMN HORNY_! Amber screamed in her head but smiled at the girl, "Its ok, Dahlia, we don't have to do anything you don't want to." Amber said as she kissed the other girls neck getting a moan of pleasure in response. Amber started sucking and kissing the girl's neck with a passion and relished in the taste if her sweat.

Dahlia moaned and ground her hips into Amber and pulled back panting. "Am…Amber…wow…ummm…shit…I need to at least shower. I'm all sweaty, baby."

Amber pulled her down and started kissing her again and nibbled on her ear, "No…I like it...I like the taste of you like this. It…is…so…hot…and…sexy…I…want…you." Amber whispered between her nibbles on the other girl's ear. Dahlia just moaned in her pleasure and finally found the strength to role off the Goth girl and on her back. She was panting and Amber rolled on top of her and started kissing her neck. She was not giving the other girl a chance to stop her. Amber kissed down the girl's chest and pulled her bra aside and gasper at the breasts. They were large and firm and had dark almost black nipples. Amber took one in her mouth and sucked it. Dahlia moaned and held the Goth girl's head down to make her suck it harder and Amber did, biting the nipples gently and loving the gasps of pleasure that escaped the other girl's red lips. Amber kissed her way down the girl's stomach and inched her hand inside the waist line of her panties and looked up at the girl for a sign she should stop. Amber saw the other girl had her eyes closed and her mouth shaped in an O as she took in a gasp of breath and continued. Amber pulled the panties down and saw Dahlia trimmed her pubic area very neat and pressed her finger on the girl's clit. Dahlia let out a very loud moan of pleasure. Amber played with the other girl's clit and stared at the beautiful sex. Her dark brown skin got darker and black around her pussy and when Amber spread Dahlia's lips apart she took a deep breath at the lovely very pink inside. Amber thought it was beautiful.

"OOHHHH…Amber…please…more…make me cum!" Amber smiled and did as she was told. She used her mouth and fingers on the other girl's private area until she felt her head being pushed into the girl's pussy and felt her hips start to grind into her face. Dahlia came in a loud screaming moan and Amber continued to use her tongue on the girl's clit until she was pulled up and felt Dahlia's lips crash into hers. The other girl licked Amber's lips and sucked her tongue to taste herself. After a short moment later, Amber lay on top of the girl while she was panting and kissing her face.

"Wow! Ok…I am defiantly a lesbian…oh God…that was…was…damn…that was amazing. I never came like that before." She said as she kissed Amber's face. She pulled back and smiled.

"What happened to 'we won't do anything you don't want to.'?"

Amber pouted, "I didn't hear you try to stop me."

Dahlia laughed, "Amber…I…I want to do the same to you…ummm…and I am about to rip your clothes off so maybe you better take them off. I want…I want to do everything with you." Amber started to take her gloves off and Dahlia stopped her and asked her to leave them on. She said she found them very sexy.

Amber smiled seductively and sat up while still straddling Dahlia and placed her hands under her thick black hair and pushed it up to pile on top of her head and arched her back. She smiled very seductively down at the other girl.

"I want you to take them off for me." Dahlia looked up at the sexy little Goth girl, smiled and started unlacing Amber's corset. She stared at Amber's small but well formed breasts before she reached up and started caressing the rose colored nipples. Amber gasped in pleasure and begged the other girl to suck them. Dahlia was happy to do as she asked and sucked each nipple and felt her head being pressed harder into the smaller girl's chest.

"Bite them…ohhhhh yeeess…harder….make them hurt…awwww….Gooood….moooore….Haaaarder!" Amber screamed out and Dahlia bit the pink nipples until Amber screamed out in plain mixed with pleasure.

Later they two girls were lying in bed with Dahlia on her back and Amber had her head on the girl's chest using her fingers to trace lines on the girl's naked stomach. They had sex two more times and did almost everything. Amber came three times and thought for a beginner Dahlia was very good. She felt Dahlia kiss the top of her head and give her a gentle squeeze. Amber moaned softly. It was nice to be lying in somebody's arms again.

"Amber, can I ask you something?"

"Umm…sure, baby, what is it…if you ask if it was any good or not I am going to _scream_…after you made me cum three times I think that should tell you how much I enjoyed it." Amber giggled

"No…it…well…when we were you know…when you were between my legs and your butt was in my face and we were…well…you know."

Amber giggled, "Yeah…I remember very fondly. So? Did I do something you didn't like? You should have told me."

Dahlia giggled, "No silly…I love that…it was great…and when you tuck you tongue in my…well…shocked my at first, but it felt so good and I really liked it. But…well…I just noticed…well…your butt had these little thin pink scars on it…and…well."

Amber sat up, "I know…they are disgusting! I hate them! I'm…I'm sorry…I used to have a cute little butt. The doctor said they will fade in time."

Dahlia laughed, "Oh, baby, you still do. I think your little butt is fucking sexy…but…and you don't have to tell me…but how did you get them. Kathy told me you were in a car accident right before you moved and your face was all bruised…but that is…well…you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry I asked."

Amber bit her lower lip and looked at the other girl, "It's ok…really. Umm…I was hurt, Dahlia, pretty bad. I was not in a car accident like I told people. I was…well…at my school in Seattle there were these girls and…and they hurt me…I really don't want to talk about it right now." Amber was surprised it still bothered her to talk about the incident. She stopped having nightmares about it a several weeks ago, but she still could not bring herself to discuss it. She just blocked it from her mind and did not even want to think about what happened.

Dahlia hugged her, "Oh, baby, that is terrible. I am so sorry. I did not…I'm sorry."

Amber smiled, "Its ok…maybe one day I can…but right now it…well…I don't want to." Dahlia hugged Amber and kissed her lips gently. Amber pulled back and smiled, "You know what would really make me feel better?"

"What's that?" The other girl said while stoking Amber's hair.

Amber looked up and smiled, "you could kiss them and make them better."

Dahlia laughed, "Amber, God you are insatiable…I need to take a shower and I am hungry…and…"

She was cut off as Amber climbed on top of her and started kissing her neck as her fingers played with her dark brown nipples. Dahlia moaned in pleasure and consisted to the other girl. Amber squealed in delight when Dahlia tossed her off her body and spread her legs and her fingers fondled between her legs.

"Ummm…God…that's good…Dahlia…you…you don't have to be so gentle with me…I…sometimes I…I like it rough." Amber moaned out and blushed. Dahlia smiled as her head moved down between Amber's parted thighs.

Amber and Dahlia started dating and while Amber liked the other girl, she knew she did not love her. She could not love her until she got over Sam. Dahlia seemed to see that as well and they argued a few times over it, but nothing too serious and they always made up. Amber hated that they had to sneak around and had to act as just friends in public, but she respected Dahlia position and played along. Dahlia was introduced to more sexual activities including the use of toys by Amber and at times was shocked, but very satisfied, by what Amber liked to do sexually. She did come to the conclusion that Amber was "freaky" sexually and like to be the submissive sexually as well. Dahlia also thought how interesting Amber was. She was a total perfectly mannered lady in public and she completely charmed her parents to where they thought she was adorable, even if she did dress strange. But in the bedroom she was such a freak and liked things that Dahlia never even would have considered to do. Dahlia did not complain at all since she found she enjoyed most of the things very much. The only thing that worried Dahlia was the fact she was falling in love with Amber and knew her girlfriend was not going to love her as long as she loved someone else so Dahlia never did admit she loved Amber.

Amber and Patrick visited Ran and her parents for Christmas and Amber loved seeing her best friend again. She cried tears of joy when she ran and jumped in the Korean girl's arms at the airport and tears of sorrow when her brother had to pry her from Ran at the airport so they would not miss their flight. Amber enjoyed the visit very much and even thought it was funny Ran got jealous when Amber told her about her knew friends in Georgia. Amber teased her friend about it just to see Ran get mad but she finally admitted to her friend no one could ever replace her as her best friend. The only down side to the trip was when Amber mentioned she should visit Sam, telling Ran that she was ready to be just friends with her ex girlfriend. Ran saw through the ruse and would not let Amber visit Sam to save the girl from another broken heart. Amber persisted and Ran finally had to tell Amber that Sam was dating Carly now (Ran did not know the truth and believed the rumors about the two) and from what she heard the two girls went to visit Sam's mother and stepfather in California. Amber was crushed even if she knew deep down that Sam and Carly would be dating but she would not let Ran see how hurt she was and only cried when she was alone.

The months passed and Amber dated Dahlia and did try to make herself love the other girl, but she just couldn't. She was very fond of her girlfriend but could not love her. She admitted to Ran over the phone her feelings and knew the best thing to do was to break up with the girl since she felt she was just using her as a rebound and for sex. Ran told her she should be honest with the girl and tell her the truth. Two months into the New Year Amber was cooking a nice dinner for Dahlia and planning on a nice evening of watching a movie and hopefully sex. Dahlia had to be home by midnight due to her curfew and she could not spend the night with her, which made Amber very disappointed. Dahlia's parents would not let their daughter spend the night at a friend's unless that friend's parents were home and they had met that friend's parents. Besides Patrick not being home that night due to work, Dahlia's mom and dad still would not let their daughter spend the night anyway since Patrick was not a parent. Since Amber did not have any parents, Dahlia could never spend the night. Another problem Amber had with her new girlfriend. She was not used to having to act just as a friend in public and having to sneak around was getting old. At first she found excitement in it, but now it was tiresome for her. She knew Ran was right, she had to stop leading the other girl on, but the problem was she did not want to hurt Dahlia and the sex was very good once she introduced the other girl to a variety of ways to have sex including toys and role play games.

They evening did not go very well at all for Amber. Dahlia left after dinner and Amber sat on the couch very angry and a little sad. She grabbed her phone and dialed Ran.

"Ams baby, you have the worse timing. I am about to go out with Jason. He'll be here in about five minutes." Ran said as she answered the phone.

Amber ignored her, "Ran…she…she dumped me! Can you believe she broke up with me?"

Ran laughed, "Well, you wanted to break up with her anyway…so what's the big deal?"

"Yeah…but she dumped me. That was not supposed to happen. God, she said she met someone else…can you freaking believe that? The girl was a virgin with girls and never dated a girl in her life and did not even know another girl to date…and then she meets someone else just like that! Hell, two days ago she was all into me and we had wonderful sex and now…Gesh…she gave me the whole 'we can be friends and it is me not you' speech! And I am soo horny too." Amber whined. Ran was the only person besides her partner Amber felt comfortable talking about sex with.

Ran laughed again, "Girl, you are _always_ horny…and speaking of which, I really need to finish getting dressed. I just got over my period and have not had sex in a week and a half….so…"

Amber laughed, "You are so silly, and I never did understand why you always waited so long after to have sex. God…do it anyway…Jason loves you plus he is a boy and boys could care less if you bleed or not." Amber giggled.

"Ohhh…gross…you are sick. God, I knew you were a freak…but that is gross. I like to be clean…anyway…I've got to go. Call you tomorrow so we can talk about the summer. I think I'll be able to stay the whole summer with you…at least until July."

"Yaaay! Love you, Ran…and talk tomorrow. And give Jason a big sloppy kiss for me."

"No! You leave my boyfriend alone, you whore! Hey, Ams…Love you to, you sick freak…by, babe." Ran hung up and Amber smiled. She loved her friend. Amber thought it was ironic that they seemed to grow even closer since she moved, if that was even possible. When she visited Ran over Christmas the two girls were always together and only left one another to shower or go to the bathroom. Amber got up and stated cleaning the kitchen and sighed. _Well it was fun while it lasted and at least she did not love me._ That would have hard for me, Amber thought as she loaded some dishes in the dishwasher.

Dahlia drove about two blocks after she left Amber's house and had to pull over. She sat in her car and placed her head on her steering wheel and cried. She sobbed with a broken heart. She knew it was the best; Amber never would have loved her since she was still in love with that Samantha girl. Dahlia knew she did the right thing, but thought…_does it have to hurt so fucking much! God…I love her and it hurts so much!_


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N – this chapter is longer than intended and will be continued it a shorter next chapter. Story is almost wrapped up…**

**People Change - **

**Sam and Carly**

Over the last few weeks of school, Sam was felling good about herself. She was going to graduate with a solid B average, going to live with her mom and stepfather to work for the summer in California at a surf/skate shop on the beach, and she was going to college in the fall. Her mom and step dad were going to help her pay for college and with her job and saving money she would not have to take out too much for loans and she even got some money the state offered for lower income people to help with college as long as they stayed in the state. Of course she had to lie a little on the application, but she did not care. The only draw back about the summer was she would miss Carly a great deal. Carly was going to spend some time with her over the summer but she also had to make arrangements for college as well. Carly decided to go to Berkeley.

The summer passed quickly for Sam due to work, which she loved. How could she not? She was working at a surf/skate shop and it was right up her alley. She was surprised with herself that she could actually save money, but she did. She saved more than she planned and was very pleased with herself. She thought of Amber often at first but as time passed it got better and she thought she was finally getting over her love for the Goth girl. Sam met several girls over the summer either at the beach or at her work and dated some or had one night stands. The girl's she dated she did not date for more than a week or two and got the reputation of being a player and other girls would warn their friends against Sam, but the blonde never had a shortage of girls wanting to date her or have sex with her. She was very in demand in the lesbian community the city. Carly worried about Sam a little and while she knew while Sam went from girl to girl she never told her friend how displeased she was in her. Another thing that worried Carly was that Sam seemed to be cruel to the girls she dated. She did not hit them or beat them; at least Carly prayed she didn't. In truth she didn't know since Sam never talked to her about the girls she dated.

One weekend over the summer, Carly flew down to visit Sam and arrived earlier than planned since she had a chance to catch an earlier flight. Carly thought it would be fun to surprise her friend. She took a cab from the airport and knocked on Sam's door. The blonde's mom and step dad were gone for the weekend and Sam answered the door with a sheet wrapped around her. Sam hugged Carly in surprise and the tall brunette was about to tell her how sorry she was for waking her up as the two went into the living room. A moment later a very cute heavy set blonde girl walked out of the bedroom also with a sheet wrapped around her and cleared her throat. Sam looked up at her.

"Oh…yeah forgot…I'm done with you for now…just get dressed and leave. I'll call you in a few days. It was fun and I may want to see you again."

The girl glared at Carly with jealousy and whimpered out an "ok" to Sam and walked back to the bedroom. Sam ignored Carly's questioning look and started chatting and a few minutes later the girl, now dressed, walked back into the room and tried to kiss Sam. Sam just pushed her away and again told her to leave. She never told Carly who the girl was or introduce the two. She just acted like the girl was never there.

Sam was looking for something she was not going to find again. Something she lost months ago and can never get back. So Sam went through girl after girl in her dating life looking for something but finding only sex. Carly thought it was sad but kept her mouth shut. She confronted Sam once about it and they got into an argument that ended with Sam calling her a fridged Ice Princess and a cock teaser and what would she know anyway since she was still a virgin and Carly calling Sam a whore. Carly was really hurt that Sam brought up the fact she was still a virgin even after the two girls made up the next day it still stung her deeply. Sam knew how Carly worried over it. Not that she was a virgin, but about how she did seem to be fridged and it worried her. She often thought she would never be able to have sex and find someone she desired and would grow to be an old prune.

Carly dated several boys over the summer, but none of them excited her to the point where she wanted to have sex with them or do anything but kiss them. Carly loved kissing but that was as far as she would go. Some of the boys told her to at least give them oral sex, but Carly thought that was disgusting and refused. The thought of her putting her mouth on a man's penis disgusted her, but she was not gay either. She had not idea what she was. After a while of rebuking their advances they would break up with her. Carly just was not going to do anything she did not want to do. She knew she had very puritan views on sex, except in her fantasies when she masturbated. She always felt guilty about those fantasies afterwards especially when the majority of the time they involved the brother of that stupid girl Amber. At first Carly no longer hated Amber or felt the Goth girl was no longer a rival for Sam's love when she discovered her love for Sam was not romantic. While she did love Sam, she loved her blonde friend more than anyone else including her brother, it was strictly as a friend and after kissing Sam she realized she was not gay or into women. Which she thought was a shame sometimes since Sam was an awesome kisser. But her dislike for Amber came back when she saw how much it hurt Sam. Carly knew why Amber broke up with Sam and moved…hell she herself had a huge part in that break up…but she felt it was wrong for the Goth girl to refuse to even talk to Sam and even changed her phone number. Sam told Carly about when she tried to call Amber after she learned she got into college and found out her cell number was changed. Sam tried not to show it, but Carly saw how much it hurt her. Carly even tried to ask Ran how to get in touch with the girl, but Ran refused to give her the number stating it was Amber's wish. So Carly's dislike for the other girl came back. It was not hate like before, but she did not like the girl for at least not wanting to talk to Sam.

The summer went by quickly for the two friends and they had a tearful parting when they met one last time for dinner. They of course invited Freddie, who would be going to Texas A.M. on a baseball scholarship and the three stayed up all night at Carly's place talking and laughing and to Carly and Freddie's surprise, Sam even cried in front of the boy for the first time in her life when she gave him a long tight hug and kiss on the cheek. Freddie left the two girls alone stating he had to get some things together before he left, but they knew and appreciated he was leaving them alone so they could say goodbye to one another. Sam and Carly hugged and cried and made promises to stay in touch everyday. They held onto one another until Carly had to leave to catch her flight. Sam was of course staying in the city but opted to live in the dorm and not her mother's apartment. She wanted the full college experience and thought the dorm would help give it to her.

Two weeks after she started school, Carly got a letter from Sam in a large envelope. They talked almost every day on the phone or emails, Sam finally got a lap top and started actually using her email. The letter worried Carly at first since they never communicated via regular mail. She opened it and read the brief letter after she took out another sealed envelope with a name written across the front. She sighed in relief when she read the letter.

Carls,

In the envelope is something I want you to give…well…please do…please for me! College is fun and I actually like some of my classes, can you believe that! I have to take remedial math but not English…surprised the fuck out of me on that one! I have no idea why I am writing all this to you since I am sure I have told you this a million times already and by the time you read this letter I am sure I have talked to you on the phone at least a three times today. Anyway…please do me the favor and DON'T tell me how sappy or pathetic I am! I already know how pathetic I am…I can't help it! Just do me the favor when you get a chance.

Love you always, Carls, and talk to you soon.

Sam.

Carly smiled and put the sealed envelope in her purse and called Sam and left her a voice mail telling her she got the letter and would do as she asked.

**Amber**

By the end of the school year Amber did not like the person she had become. She did things she was not proud of, mostly to poor Dahlia, and her future plans were not what she dreamed they would be. She was in a relationship with someone she really disliked a great deal and who was just using her and the worse thing was her relationship with her brother, her only family, was terrible by the time she graduated high school. They argued all the time, mostly about money and her spending habits, but also about her current relationship and her plans of what she wanted to do in her life. Amber hated the person she had become.

During the remainder of the school year Amber hung out with her new friends and was surprised they did not blame her for the break up with Dahlia. They did not blame the other girl either and all three of them refused to take sides but they did make sure that Amber and Dahlia did not see each other. They knew Dahlia was hurting and in love with Amber. Neither of them could blame Amber through. She was always kind and caring to their friend and honest with her about the relationship and her feelings. Amber did learn that Dahlia was not seeing anyone else but just said that to make an excuse to break up with her and not admit she loved the petite Goth girl. But what Amber did next was one of the reasons she started to dislike the girl she was becoming. She used Dahlia's love for her for just sex not just once but twice. For the first time in her life Amber used another person as she had been used by others in her past. Amber felt a little remorse…but just a little. She figured other people used her in the past so now it was her turn.

It had been three weeks since she and Dahlia broke up and she was getting very horny and needed to feel someone and masturbating was no longer satisfying her so she called Dahlia on the pretense of maybe going out as friends and she told the other girl she missed her company very much. Dahlia, being in love for the first time in her young life, jumped at the chance to see Amber again and spend time with her even if it was just as friends. Dahlia arrived at Amber's house to find the Goth girl dressed in a very sexy outfit not at all appropriate for a shopping trip. Amber wore a very short black cotton Tudor Cross Micro Mini that had two white ribbons down each side tied in bows at the bottom. The skirt flared out at the bottom and was only an inch or two long. On her body she wore a black wrap around lacy black and white corset that did not go past her belly. Amber wore white thigh highs with seams running up the back of her legs and very stylish black high heels. Her hair was piled on top of her head and the two red locks were braided and came down to frame her face. Dahlia notices her eye make up was darker and applied heavier than normal and she wore crimson lipstick. Her nails were perfectly manicured and painted crimson as well. Poor Dahlia did not stand a chance when Amber started her seduction. Dahlia, and very few people, could have resisted Amber as she used her charm, flirtation, and "innocent" touching and caressing to get the other girl in her bed. Plus Dahlia was deeply in love with Amber and she soon found herself naked in the Goth's girl's bed while Amber played her game of teasing and playing the naughty girl who needed to be punished. The two girls spent the entire day in bed and Dahlia left the house with promises from Amber of calling and even talking about dating again. Amber ignored the other girl's calls for the next three weeks and did not see Dahlia again until she was horny and needed sex once more.

The second time was different, Amber at first had no intention of seeing Dahlia again or hooking up with the other girl until she saw her at a party at Melissa's house. Amber just turned eighteen three days before and had a very terrible birthday. She did not do anything but go out with Patrick for dinner and the two got into an argument over where she was going to college. Amber went to her room and called Ran after they got home and complained about her brother for hours. Melissa's parents were out of town and the pretty black girl had a party and at first Amber was not going to go, but it was one of the times Patrick was working the day shift and she did want to be with him all night since they had not spoken in two days so she went. Amber was once again feeling horny but did not call Dahlia since she did feel some remorse over what she did, but when she saw the other girl at the party she had a change of mind. After a period of time, Amber saw Dahlia go to the bathroom and decided to make her move. She waited a few moments and walked in the bathroom and acted surprised when Dahlia looked at her with anger in her eyes.

"Oh…sorry….ummm…how have you been?" Amber asked in feigned nervousness. She closed the door and locked it behind her.

Dahlia glared at the girl, "You would fucking know if you returned a phone call…or a hundred! Why are you even here anyway! You knew I was going to be here…so did you come just to torture me some more?"

Amber put her hands behind her back and shifted her feet nervously and looked down, "I…I'm sorry, baby, but…well…I did not know you felt the way you did. I thought…well…I just assumed..."

"Yeah, you thought you could fuck me and use me and toss me aside. Well…damn you, Amber! I…I loved you…I…I still do…do you know that? Never mind…don't answer that…how could you _not_ know and I would hate to make you lie to me…again!"

Amber looked up and bit her lower lip, "I…I…I'm sorry…but I…Dahlia…I am really sorry, but you knew I could not be in love with you and how I feel about someone else. I…I am sorry…and I never did lead you on." Amber took a step to the other girl and reached her hand out to touch Dahlia's cheek. Dahlia grabbed Amber's arm and held it. She did not hold it tight but just enough to stop Amber from touching her. She looked down at the smaller girl and into those brilliant green eyes and lovely face like an angel and felt anger, love, and strong lust all at once.

"D-d-don't…don't touch me." Dahlia managed to say in a horse voice.

Amber smiled weakly, "I…I…sorry, baby, but I could not help it. You are so pretty and I…I really did not mean to hurt you. I thought you enjoyed it as well...umm…what we did the last time I saw you." Amber brought her other hand up to the girl's face and caressed her cheek and this time Dahlia did not stop her but flinched a little, Amber smiled seductively, "remember what we did…and what you did to me when you tied me to the bed and…ohhhh…what are you doing?" Amber screamed as Dahlia finally did grab her other arm and spun the smaller girl around and pushed her against the wall with her body. Amber felt her arms go above her head and Dahlia pinned them against the wall with her right hand and Amber felt the other girl's left hand slid up the front of her skirt. Amber always loved the strength of the bigger girl and she felt herself get more aroused as Dahlia used her knees to pry her legs further apart. The Goth girl played along…this was what she wanted after all.

"Dahlia…please…no…not here…please don't!" Amber whimpered.

She felt the stronger girl press lips against her ear, "Why…this is what you want. You like it like this…to be used like a slut. Isn't this what you taught me to do with you?" Amber felt her panties being pulled aside and a finger slide into her wet pussy. She let out a moan of pleasure.

"Yes…but…but not here…please, baby…ohhhh God…that feels good!" Amber moaned out. She felt Dahlia thrust in her harder, her hands let go, and the other girl's other hand slide up her blouse. Dahlia started kissing Amber's neck and pulled her bra down to uncover the pink nipples. She thrust another finger in the smaller girl's pussy and pinched her erect nipple hard. Amber let out a cry of pain and pleasure. Dahlia continued to pinch the nipple harder and then had three and then four fingers inside Amber's tight hole. Amber cried out in pain again when the other girl inserted the fourth finger and then pleasure as her pussy got accustomed to the width of the fingers inside her. She came in a few more moments as Dahlia bit her neck, pinched her nipple hard, and thrust her fingers in and out of the girl harder and harder. Amber's legs shook as she cried out when her orgasm hit her and she almost fell down due to the pleasure. She fell against the wall panting and whimpering and let out squeal when Dahlia withdrew her hand from her pussy. Her mouth was forced opened as Dahlia placed her fingers in Amber's mouth and the Goth girl greedily sucked her own taste off the girl's hand. Amber then felt herself being turned around and saw the other girl was taking off her jeans and panties. Dahlia sat on the edge of the bathtub and spread her legs.

"Get over here, slut, and eat my pussy so I come!"

Amber hesitated, "Please…not here…let's go someplace…I…I will do anything you want…just…please not here." She fake pleaded.

"Just get on your knees and make me cum!" Amber obeyed and licked and fingered and sucked the other girl to orgasm. After she came Dahlia stood up and put her panties and jeans back on and looked down at Amber. Amber looked up with desire in her eyes and saw Dahlia was crying.

"I'm…I…oh God…I'm sorry, Amber…I…I am so sorry."

Amber stood up and wrapped her arms around the girl, "Its ok…I…shhh…its ok, baby." She stood on her toes to kiss the girl but was gently pushed away.

"No…I…just stay away from me…please! I do love you…but I can't do this anymore. I can't treat you like that anymore! I…I never wanted to treat you like that…I love you to much. And…and…I can't be there just for sex. I…I want more and I deserve more. Please just stay away and don't call me or talk to me anymore." Dahlia cried and left the bathroom.

Amber shrugged, looked in the mirror, adjusted her clothes, and fixed her makeup. _Well…not where you wanted to have sex with her, but it was damn good,_ she thought as she left the bathroom to rejoin the party with no feeling of guilt.

Amber then found herself dating the worse person she could ever imagine, Burr Davis. She did not mean to date him and it just started because she needed a date to the prom. No other guy at school would ask her since they had been rejected all year by the beautiful new girl and felt they would be rejected once more. Melissa suggested she go with him even after Brittany and Kathy warned her off. She thought it was not big deal since it was just prom and she was not going to have sex with him or kiss him. It was just a friendship date. At prom Burr was actually very sweet and a gentleman and did not try anything. He soon started hanging out at the coffee shop on River Street Amber got a part time job at on weekends and after school. She got the job to stop Patrick from arguing with her about spending money and was planning on to quit when Ran came for the summer, but she liked it. Amber never disliked working. Burr was nice and of course very good looking and he would come and flirt with her. She also had to admit she was drawn to his bad boy looks and attitude and loved his motorcycle even if she was too afraid to ride on it with him. Sometimes he would show up with his friends and Amber really saw the bad boy in him then. His friends were what Brittany would term – just plan white trash pond scum – and Amber had to agree. They were rude, mean, and very crude to people. Burr would yell at them but Amber knew he was probably just like them when she was not around. She grew very attracted to him. They started dating and Amber discovered two things her friends were right about the young man. One was he was a jerk. When they started dating and after they had sex for the first time he changed and started treating Amber poorly. He never hit the girl of got physical with her, Amber knew if he did her brother would kill him…truly kill him. Burr was frightened of Patrick and rarely came to her house when he was there. He just did not respect her. He was always late for their dates, he used terrible language around her even when she asked him not to, and he was rude to her in public. He was just like his sister said he was…an asshole. The second thing she found out about what was true Melissa said was he was very well endowed. He was huge! When she first saw his manhood, Amber was fascinated by it and could not take her eyes off it or keep her hands of it. Her small hand would not even fit around the shaft. But it scared her as well. She knew it was going to hurt when he penetrated her. He made her suck it and her small mouth had a hard time fitting around it and when he did penetrate her she begged him to go slow at first. Of course he didn't and it hurt for a good five minutes until she got accustomed to the size. After the third time of him having sex with her that first time she had to beg him to stop and she could not take anymore. He didn't stop until he had an orgasm. Amber did cum several times herself but she was very sore the next day. After the sex he just got cruder to her, but she could not pull herself away from him. She did not like him but still continued to date him. Patrick hated the boy and Amber never told Ran how he really was. Her best friend would just give her a hard time about dating him.

One morning during the first days if summer Amber woke to the sound of a loud motorcycle outside her window and she looked at the clock and frowned. It was a little past seven and she wanted to sleep late. Amber knew who it was and the knock on her door confirmed her knowledge. She got up and slipped on her pink pajama bottoms and a tee shirt over her naked body. Patrick was still at work and would not be home for another hour or so_. Ok…I break up with him today! Ran is coming next week and I can see her and Burr together. She would kill him when she saw how he treats me. And he would most likely hit on her as well. Plus I am getting real tired of it and him…he is such a pig! _ Amber thought as she walked to the door. She opened the door and saw Burr standing there with a huge grin on his face.

"What's up, sexy…I was on my way to work and have a few moments and thought I would stop in and wake you."

Amber yawned and opened the door and stepped aside to let him in. "Well you did…so umm…why?"

Burr smiled as he looked her up and down. _Damn, even when she first gets up, this bitch is so fucking sexy. She is one hot piece of ass! _He thought as he leered at her. He stepped to her and put his arms around her and tried to kiss her. Amber turned her head.

"Sorry…morning breath...again…why?"

"Well, I'm horny and thought we could have a little morning sex. Send me to work off right with a good fuck."

Amber frowned and wrinkled her nose at the language. "Umm…sorry, baby, but just got my period last night." Amber lied. She tried to pry herself from his arms, but he held her tight.

"Well…wait…you had it two weeks ago…so you can't have it know."

"Well…I changed birth control prescriptions and they can mess up my cycle…so…sorry." Amber lies again. She was not even on birth control.

"Oh…ok." Burr said and let her go. _Boys are so fucking stupid sometimes_, Amber thought.

Burr walked upstairs to Amber's bedroom without her permission and Amber sighed and followed. She found Burr lying on her bed with his black motorcycle boots off and was unbuttoning his pants. Amber looked at him with a shocked look. He just smiled at her.

"You mouth don't bleed and I'm horny…come give me some love and suck me off."

Amber frowned, "Burr…I…we need to talk…I…"

"Hey…how come if you are on the pill I still have to wear a rubber?" He interrupted as he pulled down his boxers and released he very large and very erect penis. Amber stared at it and swallowed hard. She moved to the bed and sat down on the edge.

"Because the pill is not a hundred percent and it does not stop the spread of STD's…that's why." She felt him grab her hand and place it on his huge erect manhood. Amber started stroking it as she stared at it. Burr let out a moan.

"I ain't got no diseases, baby…ohhh yeah…that feels good…put your mouth on it, baby."

Amber sighed and place her mouth closer to him, "Yeah…but those skanks you have sex with may and I don't want to take the chance."

"Oh…well…suck me, baby, suck me good." He said and Amber grunted. She suspected he was cheating on her and he did not even have the decency to deny it. She looked up at him.

"Take you shirt off…I want to see and play with your tits when I fuck your mouth." Burr said and Amber took off her tee shirt and then placed her head back down to his penis.

"O…ok…but please…before you…well before it happens…just…don't do it in my mouth…ok..please." Amber asked

"Just make it feel good, baby." Burr said and put his hand on the back of her head and forced his manhood in her mouth. Amber had a hard time making it fit, but after a while it did.

Ten minutes later, Amber was in the bathroom spitting in the sink and then brushing her teeth. Burr did not let her pull away when she felt his body tighten and just grabbed her head and made her suck him harder. She was almost choking when his orgasm hit and she felt the hot sticky liquid spray her inside her mouth. She finished brushing her teeth and gargling and worked her mouth. I was sore due to his size. Amber looked in the mirror and wanted to cry. _Oh…what has happened to me? I used to be a better person than this! What have I become and why?_ She asked herself and walked back into her bedroom hoping to find Burr gone. She sighed when she saw him still on the bed but this time naked and penis was still erect and he was holding some type of small bottle in his hand.

"I…I thought you had to get to work?"

He smiled, "I can be late. I'm still horny. I was thinking…I could fuck your ass."

Amber gave him a hard look, "I don't think so. That thing would rip me apart. No…and you should leave anyway. Patrick will be home soon."

Burr smiled and opened his hand to reveal a small bottle of lubricant. "I'll lube you up good, baby, and it would only hurt for a moment. Come on, baby, you like it when I finger your ass…I know you're a freak and you'll like it." Burr got up and walked to Amber and she backed away until her back hit the closed bathroom door. He put his arms around her and held her tight. His massive manhood was pressing against her stomach. "I'll go slow…come on, sexy, just this once.

Amber looked at him, "P…please, Burr, no…I can't…don't make me do this…please." Amber looked up at him with pleading eyes and that just turned the boy on more. He liked it when she begged and pleaded. He moved her to the bed gently but with a tight grip and lay her down on her back. He then pulled her pajama bottoms off. Amber looked up at him and begged with her eyes again. Burr lifted the bottom of her tee shirt to expose her breasts.

"Please…no…I can't, Burr…please…not there…I'll…I'll suck it again or use my hand…not that. You…you can even…oh God…no please, Baby. It…it will hurt. I…I don't want to do this…please." Amber pleaded and also hoped he did not find out she was not using a tampon and not really on her period. She did not struggle or kick or fight she just lay there quietly pleading. By her not struggling, Burr assumed she really wanted it but was playing on of her games he found very exciting. He kissed her lips and Amber did not return the kiss and let out an involuntarily moan as the boy started playing with her nipples. He turned her over and placed a pillow under her pelvic area and prompted her butt up. Amber gripped the sheets of the bed tight and put her face down and put her other pillow in her mouth to stifle her screams. Amber whimpered and waited for the pain she knew was going to come but she could not stop him. She felt no control to stop him.

Burr looked down at the small butt he loved. He liked how small she was and how tight and how she squealed and whimpered when he would first enter her tight pussy. He loved the look on her face when he fucked her and how she would beg after a period of time for him to stop. He liked how freaky she when it came to sex and could never get enough of her. Yeah, he saw other girls, but he always came back to this girl with a face of an angel but had sex like a succubus. Burr spread her butt cheeks apart and relished in her whimpers. He stared at her tight butt hole and thought how good it was going to feel and how much it was going to hurt her at first. But he new this freak would like it…after a while. He dripped some of the lube on her butt crack and spread some on his fingers. Burr pressed his fingers to her butt and pushed one and then a second inside her tight hole.

Amber grunted and whimpered in slight pain as she felt Burr slide one and then two fingers inside her. She gripped the bed sheets tighter and whimpered in her pillow. Tears started leaking down her cheeks as she thought of the whore she was becoming. True she always did like freaky sex and to be dominated, but this was too much. She may have liked certain things sexually, but it was always with someone she cared for or thought she did and it was always with her consent. But now she was going to let this jerk enter her from behind and she did not want it. _Oh, God…what am I becomin_g! _How can I let this happen to me!_ She screamed in her head and then screamed aloud as she felt the gigantic manhood press against her anus. Amber found the strength to jump up and twist away from the boy. She jumped off the bed and grabbed her pajama bottoms.

"No! Get the fuck out of here! I am not going to let you do that or anything else to me anymore! Get out you fucking asshole! Get out of my house!"

Burr just laughed as Amber put on her pajama bottoms and fell to the ground as she lost her balance. He walked over to her and tried to pick her up but she crawled away from him slipping her pajama's on. She made it to the corner and curled up with her knees to her chin and her arms wrapped around her knees staring at him.

"Oh, come on, baby, you know you wanted it. I know you are a freak, Amber. Hell I even know you like to eat pussy. I heard my sister talking about you. If you be nice and let me fuck your ass I'll even hook up a threesome for us. Come on, babe, you know you want it."

"No…get out…leave me alone! I…I don't want to see you anymore!" Amber screamed and stated crying harder. Burr took one step to her and then froze.

"Amber…Amber you ok! Amber, I'm coming up!" They both heard a voice from downstairs and Burr franticly started getting dressed as Amber got up and shot out of the room and down the stairs. Burr was not normally afraid of anyone, but Amber's brother scared him. He walked down the stairs to see Amber hiding behind her brother. Patrick was staring daggers at him.

"What the hell is going on?" Patrick demanded.

"He…he tried to get me to do something I did not want to do." Amber said as she clutched her brother's arm.

Burr looked at Patrick and grinned, "Come on, man…we were fooling around, you know, and she just got upset because I was seeing another girl. No big deal. You understand how girls are. One minute they can't keep their hands off you begging for it and the next they are screaming no. We're both men here and I am sure you understand about…"

Patrick looked him and his blue eyes went ice cold. "Boy, are you _that_ fucking stupid? First this is my sister you are talking about! Second when a girl says no you back off…no questions! Third there is only one man in the room and it is not you!"

Burr lifted his hands in a defensive manner, "Hey, man, calm down…we were just fooling around…tell him, Amber. Tell him we were just messing around…ok." Burr pleaded with the girl. Patrick looked at his sister and Amber smiled sweetly and ever so lovingly up at her brother as she let go of his arm.

"Kick his ass, Patrick." Amber said simply and walked into the kitchen. All she heard as she walked to the kitchen was a horrible crunching sound and something hitting the floor with a loud thud. Amber sat at the kitchen table wiping her eyes when Patrick walked into the room a very short period later. He was shaking his hand. He sat down at the table and Amber avoided his gaze. She was ashamed of herself and could not look at him.

"Hey…Amber…you ok?"

Amber just nodded. "What happened? Did he do something you did not want?" Amber again just nodded and sniffled. Patrick reached out and took her hand in his. Amber looked and saw his hand was starting to swell a little.

"Umm…look…ummm…Amber…I am not good at this with you and truthfully I…well…I should not be talking about this with you…but…damn…Amber, I know you are not…well…I know you are not a vir…I mean…"

Amber looked up and giggled, "Patrick…stop…you are going to say something to embarrass yourself. No I am not a virgin and have had sex with both girls and boys…not a lot…I am not a whore…but I did tell him to stop and I did not want him to do it and he was anyway…so thank you."

Patrick blushed and sighed, "Ok…glad I hit him for a reason then…damn it felt good too."

Amber looked around, "Did he leave? I didn't hear his motorcycle."

Patrick shrugged, "No…he's lying on the floor...we should get him out of here through." Patrick stood and Amber followed. She walked in the foyer and saw Burr lying at the foot of the stairs in a very awkward position, his eyes were closed, and his bottom jaw hung in a very horrible angle. Blood was coming from his lip. Amber's eyes went wide in fear and she looked at Patrick.

"Oh God…you've killed him…Patrick what…I…oh God…you killed him!"

Patrick chuckled, "No he is not dead…I tried…but I just broke his jaw and knocked him out. Guess we should take him to the hospital or something. Maybe call his mom or sister to let them now where he is."

Amber turned around; she could not look at him lying on the floor. Not that she was concerned, but she just did not like the site of blood. "Just dump his ass in the street…it's what he deserves."

Patrick chuckled, "Yeah he does…but we can't." Patrick picked him up and slung him across his shoulders and carried him to his truck. He dumped the unconscious boy in the bed of the truck and walked back in the house to get his keys. He saw Amber walking up the stairs.

"Amber, your coming…you know his mom and sister and I've never met them. You have to come."

Amber turned, "Oh I know…I just need a shower, put makeup on, and get dressed…give me about an hour or more…k."

Patrick laughed, "No…come on it's just the hospital and no one will care what you look like…but if it makes you feel better go change clothes."

Amber smiled and put on a long white cotton dress with a lot of lace and applied some makeup and put her hair up on top of her head. On the way to the hospital, Amber called Brittany and told her what happened. She coldly told Amber she would see her there with her mom. The doctors looked at Burr and confirmed he had a broken jaw and a very mild concussion but nothing serious. Patrick and Amber waited for Brittany and her mom in the waiting room. A cute nurse was looking at Patrick's hand and telling him it was just bruised and not broken. Patrick knew that but the nurse insisted she look at it anyway. Amber thought she sure spent a lot of time touching his hand and did not see why she had to lift his shirt and check his heart beat. She rolled her eyes at the nurse…hell she even had a wedding band on. Brittany and her mom finally showed up and the doctor told them Burr would be ok and released now that they were there. He was conscience and his jaw had been wired shut. Patrick and Amber took the time to quietly leave the hospital to avoid an argument with the boy's mother and sister. On the way home, Patrick scared Amber when calmly he told her that Burr could press charges against him for assault and if he did they would arrest him. He also mentioned she could press her own charges against him for sexual assault. Amber tried to tell him the police would not arrest him after what Burr tried to do to her and she would tell the police if they arrested Patrick. Patrick sighed and told his sister it did not work just like that. If the boy did press charges he would be arrested and then have to be bailed out of jail. Amber got scared

They had been home for two hours when Amber's cell phone rang. She picked it up and saw the caller I.D. was Brittany. She sighed and flipped it open.

"Hello."

"Hey, Amber…it's Brittany…are you ok, girl? You didn't stay at the hospital and mom and I were worried about you."

Amber blinked in her confusion, "I…you mean…you're not mad? Is your mom mad?"

Brittany laughed, "Mad? Girl, don't be crazy. I could kiss your brother for what he did...well I could do that anytime if he wanted…and mom said if she was ten years younger she could too…of course I think she would have to be fifteen years younger…but mad…fuck no! Oh yeah…mom told me to tell you I was right…she agrees Patrick is…as she put it, 'a very strikingly handsome young gentleman'…hell I just told her he is hot as fuck!"

Amber smiled, "I…I was worried Burr would have Patrick arrested…I was scared."

"Damn, Amber…he deserved it. Mom and I know what he did…or tried to. We are not stupid and we know Burr better than anyone. Mom and I are pretty sure he tried to…well…he tried something or did something you did not want and Patrick popped him good." Brittany laughed, "Hell…I wish I could have seen it! He deserved it! He had deserved it for years. Mom is packing his shit up tomorrow and making him move in with dad. She said they are just alike and deserve one another. The only reason I'm mad at you is because I damn warned you not to date him, but you did not listen to me or Melissa or Kathy…no you had to find out yourself. Hold on Melissa is here and wants to tell you something. She could not resist seeing Burr with a broken jaw and came right over. "

"Hey, sweetie, you ok?"

"Yeah…thanks…I should have listened to you, huh?"

"Yeah….but I know…you had to find out the hard way…I did too…ummm…" Melissa lowered her voice, "At least you had an older brother there to stop him…I wish I did when he…" her voice volume picked up again, "Anyway…I also wanted to tell you…well we all did…Me, Britt, and Kathy…Amber, we are real sorry we did not invite you to go with us to Florida next week…it is well…Dahlia's going and it is something we do every year for the past five when my mom and dad would take all of us when we were kids. We just continued it as we got older…and this is the first time Dahlia's mom and dad are going to let her go with no parents going…we…we feel bad…but well…"

Amber smiled, "Hey…it's cool…I understand. You have known her longer than me and she is you guys' best friend. I never even thought about going or getting an invite…plus my friend Ran is coming down for the summer and we have plans…but…well…that was very sweet of you to tell me that. It means a lot. I really thought you guys were mad at me about her. So…umm…how is she?"

Melissa giggled, "She's cool…asks about you every once in a while…but she actually started dating someone…a cute girl and nice. Of course not as hot as you are…but she is sweet. And we never blamed you, Amber…never…we don't get involved in each other's love life like that. Plus Kathy and I did throw the two of you together…Britt did not want to…and we should not have…anyway…got to go and hopefully we can hook up when we get back so we can meet this friend you always talk about…y'all be safe and tell your brother, great job in kicking Burr's ass, but next time maybe break his nose too. Bye, dear."

Amber smiled at the phone and put it back on the table. She got up and took a shower now that she did not have to wait around for the police to come arrest her brother. She would be glad to get rid of the sticky lubricant still inside her. She smiled mischievously and decided to tell Patrick that no charges would be filed against him after her shower…or maybe after dinner tonight. She was going to the store later and going to fix her brother something special to thank him for what he did for her.


	27. Chapter 27

Amber was in the kitchen in the late afternoon reading a receipt from a piece of paper. The kitchen was a mess with vegetable peelings on one part of the counter, bottles of spices and seasonings on another part, and on the counter in front of her was a half bag of flour and a bowl she was stirring hard. She added two eggs and stirred again. Amber turned when she heard a chuckle behind her and saw Patrick standing in the kitchen entrance laughing and wearing a pair of jean shorts and no shirt. His hair was wet and Amber could smell the soap across the room. She assumed he must have just got out of the shower.

"God…will you please put a shirt on. It is unsanitary for you to walk around without a shirt on when I am cooking." She said in a teasing voice. "And why you ever got that stupid tattoo is beyond me! It is gross!"

Patrick laughed and pulled a tee shirt from behind his back and put it on, "I was getting dressed and heard you cursing and yelling and thought something was wrong. By the way you have flour on your nose…and well everywhere including your glasses. What are you doing?"

Amber took off her glasses and cleaned them and then wiped her nose, "I am cooking you a nice dinner and a coconut cake…like mom used to make. I remember it was your favorite."

"Why…and so far the dinner smells good. What are we having." Patrick knew what ever it was it would be good since his sister was a great cook. She spent many years helping and observing her mother cooking and later she loved to do the same with Ran's mother. The cake would be something new for her so he would have to wait before he made that judgment. She was right, it was his favorite and something their mother made for him every year for his birthday. He had not had one in years. The last one was when he came home for Christmas the year before their parents died.

Amber turned back around and started stirring the bowl again. "Because I have been a brat lately and to thank you…once again…and we are having pot roast with all the fixins…as they say down here in the South…and the cake for desert. I found mom's old receipt book in some things in my closet the other day. I did not remember I kept it…anyway go relax until dinner is ready or whatever…just stay away from the kitchen…and no snacking before dinner! I mean it!"

Patrick laughed, "Yes, m'am." Patrick looked at her one more time and thought how much she looked and acted like their mother and even more so at that moment. He remembered how their mom would leave the kitchen a mess when she cooked as well. He just wished his sister had the inner strength his mom had. Patrick sat on the couch and turned it to ESPN and saw a baseball game was on and turned it to CNN. He was not a huge fan of baseball. It was too slow for him. His thoughts drifted to his mom again and smiled fondly. Yeah she may look just like her but Amber lacked what his mom had. He remembered the many times his mother would come between his father and his self when they would argue. It if was not for her, Patrick would have left home when he was fourteen or fifteen instead of seventeen. Patrick left home a month before his birthday due to a huge fight he had with his dad about college and him wanting to join the Marines instead. His dad kicked him out and was so mad that even his mom could not intervene that time. Patrick lived on the streets or with friends or one girl or another for a month and on his eighteenth birthday he and Christopher signed up and three days later were headed to Marine Corps Boot Camp. Patrick sighed, he loved his dad of course, but their mother…she was real class and he missed her the most. Amber reminded him a lot of her for the most part, especially physically, she just needed to grow up and find her strength he knows she has. Patrick hoped one day she would. She could not depend on people for ever. First it was their parents and him, then Ran after their parents died, then Sam, and now him again. Not that he begrudged her being depended on him. But soon that was going to change. He loved his sister a great deal and thought he was to blame for her dependency as well. He tended to spoil her and be over protective but it was just to easy to want to watch over her. Most everyone saw that in Amber and wanted to take her and protect her and treat her like she was made of fragile glass. People wanted to either protect her or take advantage of her. Patrick's thoughts left his mind as he fell asleep on the couch. He had not slept in about thirty hours since her worked a double shift.

Dinner was good as expected as the brother and sister enjoyed the meal. The cake looked good and Patrick was hoping it tasted as good as it looked. After making small talk Patrick decided it was time to ask once again what his sister wanted to do with her life and what school she was going to. The girl got so many acceptance letters and had a huge choice.

"Amber, you know you only have about a week left to get your information and payment in for school. You need to decide where you are going. I put the information you need on the coffee table for most of the schools you wanted to go to."

Amber dropped her fork on her plate and swallowed her food, "We were having a nice dinner and you had to ruin it! It is either 'Amber, what school are you going to?' or 'Amber, you are spending way to much money' or 'blah, blah, blah'! Why ruin it…I…I…I decided not to go to college this year. I am going to…I don't know…go to Paris or Rome or somewhere for a while and then go to school!"

Patrick laughed, "First, your boney ass is going to college this year and let's just pretend I allow you to go to Europe. How are you going to live? How are you going to afford to go?"

I…do…not…have…a…boney…ass!" Amber said slowly, "It's a cute ass…and I can use the money we have in my college fund and the money mom and dad left…and...I am to going! You said you were no longer my legal guardian once I turned eighteen and I am eighteen! I am too going!" Amber yelled like a five year old child being told she could not have a piece of candy.

"Amber, God girl…you are so clueless…first of all I told you once…I am your older brother and regardless of you being eighteen or not you are going to listen to me…until you fucking grow up! Second…the money we got from mom and dad was not a lot after we had to pay off their debts, the funeral, and other expenses. The life insurance policy I used to pay off the apartment and when we sold it I put most of the money in your college fund…which is for college not some stupid idea to travel the globe! Amber, mom and dad…God love them…but well…dad invested in some stocks that really crashed after he died and we lost the majority of the money we had. Why do you think I worked all these years on those stupid oil rigs? Working fifteen hour shifts and half way around the world? I will tell you why…I did it to help save money for your college! I even had Byong investing some of the money for me…for us. That is why I have been hard on you spending money lately…God you have got clothes and shoes in you closet I am sure you haven't even worn yet. And your _boney ass_ is going to college! That is final! I did not bust my ass in a job I fucking hated and one I fucking hate now for you to not go! Plus…since you are now eighteen and going to college…I'm going back into the Marines and I have already talked to a recruiter and can go back in at my old rank and even back into recon."

Amber started at him hard, "Do not use that language with me! Do not curse to me! And…and what about you…you did not go to college and…"

Patrick interrupted her, "Amber…what I did and the choice I made is not in question. You are the smart one! I never and will never have your brains or intelligence! God, girl, you are the smartest person I have ever met! About some things…about others you are a complete idiot! I am not going to let you waste your life dating people who are not worth you or see you waste your life over a girl that does not love you! I am sorry, Amber…I really am…but you need to get over Sam! I know it hurts but she is gone. You need to get over her and stop jumping into relationships with the first guy or girl who shows and interest in you. Look at that asshole Burr and then there was Dahlia. She is a sweet girl, but you did not care for her and just used her. That is not you! You need to let people go, Amber. I know it hurts, baby, but let you need to let them go. Sam is gone…let her go. Mom and dad are dead but you still hang on to them and it makes it hurt worse. You won't forget them if you let them go, Amber…I promise you that! You will remember the good and the bad, but it will make the pain less if you just let them go."

Amber stood up and threw her napkin at her brother, "How dare you! How dare you talk about my relationships! Look at you…hell Mona called me today crying because you broke up with her yesterday for no reason but you…you got bored with her! I liked her…she was nice! And then there was Ashley back home. You broke off your engagement with her and I had to listen to her crying when she kept calling me for days! Did you get bored with her as well? You have no right to judge me and who I date! And…and never…never talk about Samantha! You have no right! She…what she means to me…and my love for her…you…ARGH! Just _never_ talk about her again! You don't even know how to love anyone! And…and how dare you lecture me on mom and dad! I…" Amber started crying, "I…where the hell were _you_? Where were you when…when I was younger? You left home to join the damn marines and were not around! Mom used to cry you know! She would watch the news and cry when they would talk about the war! And when they would mention marines or soldiers getting killed…she would…mom would come…she would come in my bed and hold me all night and cry about her _precious son_ and she would have me pray with her for you. How dare you, Patrick! Where were you when…when they died? I was the one the police told! I was the one at home that night! I was the one who had to hear it from a total stranger! You were not even there! And…no! _No!_ You have no right to tell me to let them go! You had your time with them! I…I didn't! I was only thirteen when they died! I got cheated of them!…I will never let them go! I love them and…and…you are not going back into the…the…the fucking marines either! I refuse to let you! I am not going to…to wait for some man wearing a uniform to come and tell me you got your stupid ass shot off and…and I am not going to another damn funeral for someone I love! Do you hear me! I will not let you! I…I…" Amber sank back into her chair and started sobbing. Patrick got up and walked over and got on his knees and tried to hug her. Amber tried to fight and struggle but after a moment she fell into his arms and her body racked with sobs.

"I…I love them so much and I miss them, Patrick…Oh God I miss them every day!" Amber cried. "I…I want my mommy to talk to about things. I…and all I have is you! I love you…but it…it's not the same. I have Ran, who I love so much and tell everything to…but it's not the same. I…I want her some times, Patrick…can you see that. I needed her growing up! You had them…I didn't! I had Mrs. Isuel and she is a wonderful person and I love her…but she is not my mommy!…and sometimes…God help me…but I hate her and…and dad for leaving me! I cannot let them go…because…because what if I let them go during one of my hate periods…I…I would hate them forever if that happened!"

Patrick started stroking her hair, "Shhh…you could never hate them…even if you think it you could…you can get angry with their deaths…hell I do, but that is not hate, Amber…that is not hate for them. I know how close you were to them…a lot closer than I was…dad and I did not get along much when I turned fifteen. I now that he loved me and I loved him…but we had a lot of differences. I know you heard us argue a lot…and he was very disappointed in me for joining the marines and not going to college. I miss them Amber…but I learned to let them go and I have not forgotten them and I could never hate them like I know you couldn't. Even…even after dad kicked me out…" Patrick chuckled as Amber pulled away and stared at him, "Didn't know that huh? You were at Ran's that night. Yeah we got in huge fight about me going to college and I told him I was joining the marines and we fought until finally he told me I was a disappointment to him and told me to leave. Mom begged him and me of course and cried…God I remember how much she cried…and mom did not cry much…and yeah I know if I would have left for just the night and came back it would have been ok…but I was too stubborn. So I lived here and there and joined the marines. You were the one that was special to them. Never forget that, Amber…they loved you so much. You were their princess and I was the outcast."

Amber hugged him again, "Your wrong, Patrick." Amber whispered in his ear, "You are so wrong about dad. He loved you and he was proud of you. He used to carry a picture of you in his wallet. One of you in that blue uniform and you look so handsome in. He would show it to everyone and smile proudly and tell them his son was a U.S. Marine. God…I can hear him now…I used to get so tired of it. I would roll my eyes and ask mom to make him stop and she would tell me tell me 'hush, Amber, let your father have this moment. He is proud of your brother as you should be.' I would pout and whine because I wanted the attention until she would get mad at me. And God forbid if we saw one of those marine bumper stickers on a car," Amber chuckled, "he would almost stop traffic just to tell the person his son was a Marine in Iraq or Afghanistan. I used to get so embarrassed when it seemed he would talk for hours in the parking lot of one store or another with some total stranger who also had a son or grandson or husband in the marines in the war. He would give them our phone number and tell them to call if they needed anything. It used to drive me nuts…you are so wrong. He was very proud of you, Patrick."

Patrick smiled, "I never knew…mom told me but I thought that was mom just being the peace keeper…huh."

Amber leaned back from his arms, "And…and when Christopher got killed and we went to the funeral of course. He was your best friend and I was friends with Jason…anyway later that night I wanted some ice cream. It was way past two in the morning and I had not eaten all day and was starving…and remember how much I loved ice cream when I was smaller. I got up and went into the kitchen and saw dad sitting at the little table and he was staring at something in his hand. He looked up and I saw tears in his eyes. It was the only time I ever saw dad cry. He waved me to come sit in his lap and he held me so tight I couldn't breath and I looked and saw he was holding that picture of you. He did not say a word but held me and cried. I got scared…I mean he never cried…like you…and I started crying. Mom came in and took me to her bed and I asked her if dad was ok and then if you were. Mom told me dad was crying because he could not bare the thought of burying his son…that's how she put it…not your brother or not our son…_but his son_…like they buried Christopher...and…and I never did get my damn ice cream that night. He loved you and was proud of you…please don't think any different…ok. I think you and him argued most of the time because you and him are so much alike. I mean it…you are just like him. So strong, so caring, so loving, so honest, and…so damn stubborn."

Patrick hugged his sister again and she let go of him and wiped her red swollen eyes, "Patrick…I want to look at those college forms…just to make sure you don't have me going to some school in some third world country." She smiled and Patrick chuckled, "But…if…sorry…_when_ I go…promise me…promise me that I go to college you don't go back into the marines. That is my deal. Promise me or I don't go."

"Amber…I can't…I hate what I do and love the marines. I hated the killing…got used to it where it did not keep me up at night anymore…but hated it and only did so when I had to, but I loved the excitement and the rush of being there. I…I can't promise you, but I can promise I will strongly consider something else...deal?"

Amber nodded, "Ok…but please give me the summer to talk you out of it. Patrick, I…I was serious…I can't go to another funeral of someone I love! I can't bare it. You are the only family I have left…please…I don't want you to die. And you can go to college…you are smart…very smart. I see the books you read and the things you know…think about it…ok."

Patrick stood up and nodded, "Lets go look at those college forms and then we will talk more about it over some of that great looking cake. It looks like mom's and I bet it tastes as good."

Amber stood and smiled, "Tastes as good? It is better!"

After looking over the college information Amber was torn between Vanderbilt and Berkeley. She always wanted to go to Berkeley but her mom went to Vanderbilt and the more she looked at the information the more she liked the school. It was a great school and she thought she would like it. After a long thought she completed the enrollment information and enclosed the required check and put a stamp on the envelope. She started to get excited about college once more. She went back into the kitchen and scolded Patrick for using a spoon to scrape some of the icing off the cake and then the two enjoyed a piece of cake and a cup of coffee and Amber rattled on about the school she choose. She avoided the subject of her brother going back into the marines. The thought of it was something she could not stand and would make her cry again and she was tired of crying for that day.

Later that night Amber was in her room and called Ran to tell her about the college she decided to go to and asking Ran what time her flight would be in next week and what day. Amber knew the exact information since she had it memorized for months after Ran told her after she booked her flight, but she did not want Ran to know she was that excited. Amber did not tell her friend about Burr since she knew the Asian girl would get on the next flight and come to Georgia and kill the boy. Amber then told Ran what Patrick said about going back into the marines.

"I don't fucking think so!" Ran exclaimed simply.

"He is…he is talking about it when I go to college in the fall. We have to stop him! We need a plan."

"We will…we'll think of something…mom and dad are coming for the first week…"

"Yaaaay!" Amber said with a smile.

"No not yay! They are going to ruin my chances of hooking up with some southern gentleman stud," Both girls laughed and Amber knew she was just teasing. Even if she did not admit it, Amber knew Ran was in love with Jason. "but they can help and talk Patrick out of it. Hell dad talks about him and treats him like a son anyway so he will be willing to help and no one manipulates my mom like you do. She can't so no to anything you ask her."

"How does your dad talk about me?" Amber teased and pouted.

"Oh…Ams…you know he loves you like a daughter and talks about you like one," Amber smiled and Ran continued, "He is always referring to you like the mentally challenged daughter he keeps chained in the basement."

"Ohhh…bitch! He does not! He loves me more than he loves you! Who would love a silly freakishly tall Chinese girl they found being raised by a pack of wild dingo's?" Both girls laughed and Ran sobered up first.

"Seriously, Ams, he can't go back…what…what if something happened?"

"I know…it scares me…we will think of something. There is no way he can resist both of us."

Ran giggled, "Yeah and if I have to…well…I guess I will offer my luscious body to him and let him do all kinds of perverted things to me if he promises not to go back. I guess I will make that sacrifice."

Amber giggled as well, "You wish! Umm…Ran, have you…ummm…have you seen Samantha?"

Ran sighed, "Well…I heard she moved to California. Moved in with her mom…that's all I know…so please don't pressure me…ok. Baby, it's late and I have practice early so I am going to go to bed now…don't worry we will think of something."

"Ok…I trust you…and Ran?"

"Yeah."

"I love, Ran."

Ran caught the tone of Amber's voice, "Hey…I love you too…you ok?"

Amber smiled, "Yeah…yeah I am…I am very much ok…just wanted you to know."

"God you are such a freak! I love you to…night, babe." Ran hung up and Amber placed her phone on her bed side table and smiled. _Yeah I am very much ok_, she thought and rolled over to go to sleep. The last thoughts she had before she drifted off was of Samantha Puckett. That night Amber dreamed of Sam and the blonde girl kissing her, making love to her, loving her, and caring for her like she used to. When Amber woke the next morning she tried to force herself to go back to sleep hoping she would have the same dream again.

The summer was one of the best Amber had, not including the previous summer she spent when she was dating Sam. Ran flew in with her parents, who stayed for a week. After they left Amber and Ran drove up the coast…Amber actually asking permission from Patrick if she could spend the money. She truly respected what he did for her to have money for college. They decided to drive north and not to Florida. They visited Hilton Head, Charleston, and made their way to the outer banks in North Carolina. Both girls agreed Charleston was their favorite and both pouted since the military school The Citadel was not in session since they would have liked to see the cute boys in their uniforms. Where ever they went both girls were very popular with boys and they flirted shamelessly. It was a wonderful trip. When they got back to Savannah, Amber introduced Ran to her friends and the Asian thought they were very nice and thought Brittany was just charming and acted like a Southern Belle she heard so much about. Ran of course continued her drooling over Patrick and would pout at her failed attempts of flirtation. Amber would just laugh at how nervous she got around him and how she sometimes made a fool of herself when he was home. It was a great summer. It was a few days from the day in July Ran had to leave to go to Arizona to try out for the Olympic Volleyball Team and Amber was going with her and then coming back to pack for college. Ran was in the shower that morning and Patrick told Amber he wanted to talk to her about something. Amber got scared because she knew he was going to tell her he was going back into the marines. They were sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"Amber, I need to tell you something, but you can't tell Ran. I know you tell her everything…but her dad asked me not to let her know…or you for that matter, but I feel I should tell you."

Amber looked at him with fear in her eyes and promised.

"Well…Byung's business it not doing well and he said he needs my help. He wants me to come to work for him and help open his California expansion stores in a couple of years. He said he will pay for me to go to night school while I learn the business in Washington and then open the stores in California. I…well…I…we owe him a great deal and I think I should do it. But I want your opinion as well."

Amber sighed in relief and quickly recovered and got a worried look on her face, "Is…is he ok? I…is it that bad?"

"Well…not yet…he said it depends on the expansion and needs someone he can trust. He thinks I am that person."

Amber took his hand, "But…well…what about you? I mean you like excitement and it may be boring…would you like it."

Patrick shrugged, "Yeah…maybe…I mean I would get to travel some and try out all the new sporting good equipment and he said the marketing departments from the suppliers are always taking him on trips that include white water rafting and rock climbing and stuff like that…and he said he is getting to old for those things and needs someone…me he said…who can handle it. So what do you think? We do owe him a great deal."

Amber stood up and kissed his head, "Yeah…I think so…for him. Like you said, we owe him and Mrs. Isuel a lot. I can't pay them back for what they did…but maybe this is a good chance for you to pay them back for me."

"Ok…I'll have to think about it through...it's a big decision. Now go get that silly friend of yours so we can go get some breakfast. Natalie said she would meet us there."

Amber ran upstairs to her room, tripping over the last step on the stairs, and ran in her room. Ran was still in the bathroom but Amber did not here the water running and assumed her friend was finished with her shower. Amber could not wait so she grabbed the door knob and found it locked. She knocked on the door.

"Ran! Why is the door locked? Ran, open up…it worked! He fell for it!" Amber yelled through the door.

"What worked…and give me a minute…I just got out of the shower and I'm still naked."

Amber just knocked on the door again, "Like I've never seen you naked before…open the door. I want to tell you what he said!"

"No! I…I…just tell me while I dry off and dry my hair."

Amber sat on the bed, "Well he believed your dad…" Ran told her friend about the conversation. "Ran, do you think we may have gone over board…we lied to him and made your dad lie to him as well. I feel bad about that."

"Shit! Sorry…well yeah and dad was very upset with us…and I am sure he will tell Patrick the truth of our scheme soon…and I did kind of feel bad until I rationalized it. It was either lie to him or he goes and gets killed. I don't see the problem…ouch…ouch…ouch…fuck that burns!"

"Ran! What are you doing"? Amber stood up and went to the door again, "Open the door now! What are you doing in there?"

"Nothing! Leave me alone…I'll be ready soon!"

Amber stomped her foot, "No! Open the door!"

The door opened and Ran was standing in the doorway naked and Amber saw her face. Amber busted out laughing. Ran had a good deal of makeup on her face and looked terrible. Her lipstick and mascara were applied to heavy.

"Ran, you look like a whore!" Amber laughed.

"Shut up!" Ran said in an angry voice and then frowned, "Ams, I need your help…make me look pretty like you."

"Oh Ran, you are so beautiful...why? Why the concern now? I…wait…oh no, please don't tell me! Ran, no! You can't be…it…ohhhh, Ran…" Amber hugged her friend, "I am so sorry."

Ran pushed Amber back, "Amber, I'm naked…and I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you going to help or not?"

Amber looked her fiend up and down, not in lust but admiration. "God…you got a great body. Now don't play dumb with me. You know what I am talking about…you…you actually love him don't you? I always thought it was just a crush…but you love him! God I should have seen it. Ran, honey…you can't…he won't…oh, poor girl. I am so sorry."

Ran went back into the bathroom, wrapped a towel around her body and started washing her face, "I have no idea what you are talking about! I just…just wanted to look nice that is all!"

Amber grabbed her arm and pulled her to the bed and sat her down. "Sit here and let's fix you up." Amber went into the bathroom and came back with an assortment of makeup. "First you put way too much on and then what you had on did not go with your skin tone…now close your eyes…ok…" Amber started to apply the makeup to Ran and after several minutes Amber stood back and smiled. "All done…let me get a mirror." Amber got a makeup mirror from the bathroom and handed it to her friend. Ran looked and smiled.

"Wow…I…damn…I look good!" She smiled and Amber sat down next to her and took her hand.

"I only used a little…you don't need much since you are so pretty without it…just highlighted your natural beauty. Now we are going to talk before we go."

"I still have no idea…"

"Shut up and listen. Ran, he sees you like a sister…and loves you like one. I just don't want to see you get hurt. I mean…what about Jason? I thought you loved him."

Ran frowned, "I do…I love Jason a lot, but I swear I would dump him in a minute for Patrick. I have always loved him! Ever since I was nine or ten. I…and don't you give me any shit about it or we will have to bring up Sam."

Amber flinched a little as if stung by a bee, "I…that is over…and it is not…ohhh…this is about you not me and that was mean!"

"Yeah…over my ass…you always ask about her and…ok…ok…sorry. Ams, I can't help it! I do love him! And now we have to go meet his new girlfriend and I want him to see me as more than a sister…I want him to see me as a girl." Ran got up and walked to the closet and pulled out a jean skirt and red tank top. She put on her panties and bra and then her skirt and tank top. The skirt was short but not slutty. Amber thought she looked great.

"Ran…ok…ok…not another word about it…just…damn…just don't get your hopes up."

Ran smiled, "I won't…I promise. I have been living with this for years and you know I can bury my emotions. So what is this girl like?"

Amber sighed, "Well…the truth huh?" Amber got up and picked up a copy of Vogue Magazine from her night stand and tossed it on the bed, "See that girl on the cover?" On the cover was a very beautiful tall brunette model, "Natalie blows her away and is a hundred times better looking. And she is nice and sweet and classy and she adores Patrick. Sorry, Ran, you asked."

Ran looked at Amber with sadness and anger, "Well…at least she's not Carly Shay, huh?" She regretted as soon as she said it. Amber took a step back and had a defeated look on her face.

"Ran…that…that was…that was mean…I…you asked, baby…I'm sorry he does not love you and if I could make him I would…really I would…but I can't just like I could never make Samantha love me…I learned it does not work that way…I learned it the hard way. I am sorry, baby, but he won't…he never will."

Ran smiled weakly, "Sorry, Ams, that was a low blow and maybe he never will see me that way, but I can make it fun anyway. Now let's go meet this bitch…what's her name…Nat."

"She does not like to be called Nat. She prefers Natalie." Amber commented as the girls left the room.

Ran smiled evilly, "Is that right?"

"Oh boy…this is not going to be fun." Amber muttered under her breath.

Ran and Amber left for Arizona a few days later. Amber only stayed a few days since the try outs lasted for weeks and Ran kept advancing and soon the try outs became closed. Amber was glad to leave since she kept getting mad at the coaches for yelling at her friend, as well as the other players, and telling her she was not doing well enough to make the team. Ran would just laugh and tell her friend it was the way it was and she did not take it personally. Amber got back to Savannah and started making arrangements to go to college and got a call from a very excited Ran a few weeks later telling her she made the team. Amber cried in happiness for her friend. September came and Amber arrived at the University of California at Berkley and started her freshman year of college. Patrick decided to take the job with Mr. Isuel even after he discovered it was all a rouse. He was very angry at Amber for weeks until she left to go to school. They made up and she cried in his arms when they said goodbye and he told her how proud he was of her.

Amber was laying in her bed in her dorm room looking over her class schedule. She was a little overwhelmed as all freshmen were but so far she liked it. True she only had been at school for two days, but it was an exciting two days. She talked to Ran often, who was attending UCLA and they were going to make plans to meet in a couple of weeks. Amber's roommate was lying in her bed looking at her class schedule as well. She was a nice girl but very timid and afraid of everything. Amber found out she was from Minnesota and this was her first time away from home. Amber decided to be friends with Tammy and hang out with her so she would get accustomed to being away from home. Amber put her schedule down and picked up the freshman directory and flipped to her picture.

"God…I look horrible! Hey, Tammy…yours is cute." Amber called to her roommate. The heavy set brown haired girl smiled at her.

"Yeah…it's ok…I thought you looked good in yours."

Amber frowned as she looked at it again and then started looking over the other photos. She froze when she saw a familiar face. Amber checked the name to verify it. She knew who it was but she just had to make sure. She read the name aloud.

"Carly Shay…oh damn! I cannot believe this! You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Tammy glanced over at her.

"What's wrong, Amber." She said as she pushed her glasses up on her face.

"I just can't believe it!" Amber shouted again and got off the bed and showed the other girl the book and pointed to the picture.

"Wow…she's pretty. Do you know her?"

"Yeah…we went to high school together." Amber said in a harsh whisper.

"That's cool...you know someone here. I wish one of my friends from back home was here. It would make things easier."

"Well…we are not friends…I actually can't stand her or her me. I just can't believe it!" Amber said and threw the book on her bed. "Oh well…big campus so I can avoid her. Hey…want to walk around some? Try and find some of the classes we have before tomorrow so we won't be totally lost."

Tammy smiled, "Would love to…I am so confused about where anything is. I got lost today trying to find the cafeteria."

Amber laughed and put her arm around her roommate, "Yeah me too…I didn't eat at all…maybe we can find a place off campus to get some food. I'm starving."

Tammy laughed, "Amber…thanks…well…for being nice. I was afraid I would get a total bitch for a roommate."

Amber smiled, "Yeah me too…just be glad you didn't get Carly Shay for one. She would have stolen your boyfriend away from you. So put some shoes on and let's go, girl, I'm starving."

It only took four days for Amber to run into Carly Shay. Amber was walking with Tammy to their dorm one Saturday afternoon when she saw Carly talking with a very pretty blonde girl. The first thought Amber had was the bitch was cheating on Sam and the second thought was…run! Turn around before she sees you. Amber grabbed Tammy and turned around and took three steps when she heard her name being called.

"Amber! Amber St. Claire! Amber!" Amber stopped and turned around and saw Carly waving at her like they were friends. Carly said something to the girl she was with and the blonde laughed and walked away. _Probably said something about me like…oh look there's the school whore from my high school…let me go say hello and torment her…by the way, I fucked her girlfriend and stole her away from her…like she could compete with me…the silly slut_, Amber thought as Carly walked to her with a smile on her lips. Her mouth was dry and she was nervous.

"Hey, Amber, I was wondering if I would run into you. So…ummm…how are you?" Carly said sweetly.

Amber looked her over and thought she was looking perfect as always in her low cut jeans and white top. _God I hate her! _"Fine…I'm fine…I…well…nice seeing you. Tammy and I have to go. We are late already." Amber said hastily.

"Late to where? Where are we going, Amber? I thought we were just going back to the dorm and then later going to cruise the town." Tammy asked and Amber could have killed her.

Carly smiled, "Well since you are not in a rush…maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee."

Amber thought of a million reasons not to and only one why she should, to find out if Carly and Sam were still dating. The one won, "Sure…I guess." Amber turned to Tammy, "See you in a few, Tammy." Tammy nodded and walked away.

The two girls were sitting in the school coffee shop and neither said a word for about a half of cup of coffee. Amber sighed and finally broke the ice.

"So…ummm…cute girl…the one you were with. Roommate?"

Carly smiled, "Oh…Jennifer. Yeah nice…and no. I have a class with her. She is trying to get me to go out with a friend of hers so she can go out with a friend of his. But I don't think so. He's kind of a jerk from what I have been told. What about you? How are things going with school? I…well I am so damn lost…it is a big change."

Amber frowned, _who the hell does she think she is? Acting like we are such pals? Maybe she is cheating on Sam…or…or they are no longer dating._ "Yeah it is over whelming and all…but I am adjusting. So…ummm…oh the hell with it. Why, Carly Shay? Why?"

Carly blinked in surprise, "Why what?"

Amber sighed, "Why playing nicey nice with me? I found out you came her a several days ago and did my best to avoid you and hope I did not run into you. I would have thought you would have done the same."

Carly sighed, "I…maybe I just thought it would be nice to have someone from home to talk to on occasion…I did not know you still hated me. My mistake."

Amber gave her a harsh look, "Yeah it was…your mistake. I'll always hate you Carly. I could forgive everything you've done or every name you called me and every rumor you passed along or help spread about me. Hell, I was not totally innocent either. I did things to get under your skin as well. But I will never forgive you for stealing Samantha away from me. Never! You won, Carly! I let her go because she loved you more than me! Why do you have to rub it in now?"

"Oh, please Amber. You know I used to think you took her away from me, but I was wrong. You never took her way from me…I pushed her away. I pushed my best friend away and it hurt…it broke my heart and I will never forgive myself for it even if she has. I love her and we are best friends again and yeah I thought…well I thought I loved her more than a friend and she thought the same…but we didn't. I am not here to rub anything in. I was glad I saw you hoping to make some sort of amends with you. Sam always told me how sweet and caring you are and I wanted to see it for myself. Maybe you are to other people but I guess I will never see it. I knew we would never be friends, but I thought we could at least be civil to one another. It would have been nice to have someone I could occasionally talk to from home when I get homesick. Guess I was wrong." Carly shocked Amber when she snatched up the small brunette's cell phone from the table and started punching on the keys. "There, I programmed my number in there and if you ever need anything call me. I doubt I'll hear from you, but what the hell, right." Carly stood up and reached in her purse and tossed a white photo envelope on the table. "Here, Sam wanted you to have this. I told her I saw you were going to school here and she sent this to me to give to you. And for your information…she's hurting over you even if she won't admit it. We never dated, Amber…I know you think we did…but we didn't. I love her…but as a sister and nothing else. I am not gay or bi or into girls. I'll tell her you said hello." Carly walked away and Amber fondled the envelope and looked up as Carly got to the door.

"Carly…don't tell her I said hello…we…what we had is gone…I'm sorry…I really am…but…just tell her you gave me the envelope and let it go. She and I were…well…it's the past. Whatever we had is over." Amber lied. She wanted to tell Carly to tell Sam to call her and she would beg Sam to love her again. She never let the beautiful blonde go, but the pain was almost gone and she never wanted that to come back.

Carly smiled tightly and turned around, _lying little bitch! She loves Sam…and Sam loves her. God I am glad I am not in love…it sucks! I just wish those two would stop being stupid! Of course Sam could do so much better…even if Amber did look good…damn good…oh well…I tried_. Carly walked away with every intention of never speaking to Amber again. She was sure she would see her now and then but a nod of the head or even a wave would be good enough.

Amber pulled her glasses from her purse and opened the envelope. It was one of those envelopes used to send photographs. She pulled out a letter and a picture. Amber did not glance at the picture as she unfolded the letter. Her hands were shaking.

Dear Amber,

Before you read this look at the picture…stop reading right now! Stop! I know you…you are reading! Look at the picture now!

Amber grinned and looked at the photo. It was of Sam and Amber thought she looked so beautiful. She was wearing a red and black plaid dress that was very form fitting at the top and flared out at the bottom hem. Her long blonde curly hair spilled naturally over her shoulders and she was smiling. Sam was standing next to a stature of some man and a plague that read "The University of Washington" in large letters and below it were other words that could not be made out. Amber stared at Sam for a long time. At first she thought she had forgotten how beautiful Sam was…but that was a lie, she never forgot. Amber then picked up the letter and finished reading it.

Like the picture! Well it is me of course and on my first day of class at UW! That's right, I got in and I am going! I even wore a dress like a girl I think fondly of quite often asked me to. Can you believe it! I am actually going to fucking college…sorry I know how you hate words like that…but I am going! I love it here so far! Another shock huh? Me liking school…wow hard to believe!

I wanted you to know, Amber, because it is all because of you! I mean that! Everyone doubted me…including me…except you. You never doubted me…ever…and pushed me to go. I am very grateful for that. I am grateful for the pushing and the faith you had in me. Thank you Amber…thank you for everything.

I hope you are doing well…you deserve it…and you are going after your dreams to. I was glad to hear you are going to Berkeley…you deserve it! Well…I'll let you go now. I have included my phone number at the bottom and email address if you ever feel you want to say hello or something well I would like that, but understand if you can't or don't want to. But I was hoping we could be at least friends one day.

I wish you happiness, Amber…and I do think of you fondly and with kindness,

Samantha

Amber read the letter again and again before she put it back in the envelope. She wiped her eyes which had become watery and looked at the picture for a long time and placed it back in the envelope as well. She sighed, picked up her cell phone and thought about deleting Carly's number but decided what the hell. She did change the name to read "Bitch" instead of Carly. She got up and walked back to her dorm and decided not to call Sam or email her. She was very proud of her ex girlfriend and very happy for her, but she could not be just her friend. It may be selfish but Amber could never be just Sam's friend and she felt sad about that, but it still hurt.


	28. Chapter 28

Two years later.

Amber was a sophomore in college at Berkeley and she was having a wonderful time. The school was everything she hoped for and thought it would be. She met so many great people and had new friends and talked to Ran constantly. The two girls remained very close and saw one another as much as possible, except for the last month. Ran was so busy with her volleyball and had little time to visit and she made the U.S. Olympic Volley Ball Team that was going to Korea for the games in July. The two girls talked over the phone all the time and were meeting up for spring break next week. Amber got rid of her Goth look the end of last year and her hair was long and her natural black color with no red streaks. She toned down the use of her makeup, especially her mascara and lipstick. Everyone who knew her in the past told her she looked better since she let her natural beauty show. She was still a prissy girlie girl and had the same perfect fashion sense and still had perfect manicured finger nails and still refused to wear jeans and pants. She also discovered she could be less needy of people and did not have to be in a relationship to be happy. She had not dated anyone her entire freshman year, did not have random sex (no sex at all) and did not date anyone until the middle of her sophomore year. When she met Liz. At first she turned the other girl down several times but she was persistent and Amber finally agreed to a date.

Amber was had been dating the girl for about three months. Elizabeth or Liz was a beautiful red head from South Carolina and a junior. Amber loved her accent. Amber liked her and was very fond of her. Liz was tall standing five ten and thin and very sexy. The red head was a domineering girl and Amber like that a lot. One thing that did not change for Amber was her attraction to more dominating people and people who liked to take care of her. She would sometimes ask herself if she loved the girl and that answer was always no. She liked her a lot and had fun with her and loved her company, but she did not love her.

Amber had not spoken to Cary Shay since that day last year when they had coffee and she had not spoken to Samantha Puckett in over two years. She and Carly even had a class together this semester and Amber would either ignore the girl or just nod her head. Regardless of what she told Amber last year, Amber still did not like her. She often thought of her ex girlfriend and kept her picture (the one she sent to let her know she got into college) on her cork board with the pictures of her other friends. Amber would take it down often and look at it for a long time and smile when she thought of Sam. But she did not cry. Amber had not cried over Sam in a long time. Her brother was working back in Seattle, finally taking Mr. Isuel up on his job offer and going to school at night.

Amber was in her dorm studying when her phone rang. She looked at the clock and saw it was a little before eleven in the evening. She groaned because she had a huge test in the morning. She looked at the caller ID of her dorm room phone and saw it was Patrick. She took off her glasses and picked up the phone.

"Yeah…not to be a terrible person, but I have a gruesome test tomorrow and…"

"Why don't you answer your cell?" Patrick said harshly and Amber could tell something was wrong by the shaky sound of his voice. She got frightened.

"Patrick…what's wrong. I turned my cell off to study and just forgot to turn the ringer down on my…"

"We have been calling for hours. Amber, you need to get to Seattle. Now and I mean right now."

"P…Patrick…I…what's going on…I'm scared." Amber said in a shaky voice.

"It's…it's Ran…Amber you need to come here…she…just come now."

"Patrick…is she dead…tell me…Oh God please don't let her be dead?" Amber screamed in the phone and started crying.

"No…but…she's in the hospital and you don't…you can't wait…get here. Go to the airport and get on the first flight to Seattle. I'll meet you at the airport. Do you have money for the ticket?"

"Yeah…I got my card…Patrick, I'm freaking out…what is going on." Amber said as tears leaked down her cheeks. It was a strange feeling. She had not cried in over a year. She was much stronger than she had been in the past.

"She's sick, Amber, real sick and…just come here. I have to go." Patrick said and hung up the phone.

Amber jumped up and started grabbing things to take like a change of clothes and some small essentials. She stuffed them in a suit case and then quickly put on a red silk skirt and black blouse. She grabbed the first thing in her closet. Next she sat on her bed and grabbed her laptop to book a plane ticket. Her internet connection was down and she slammed the laptop shut. _How could she be sick…I just talked to her a week ago…hell we talk at least once a week on the phone and most of the time seven or eight times a week. We even had plans to go on spring break next week, me, her, Jason, and Liz. I don't understand_, Amber thought and then the whirlwind hit her. She broke down. She sat on her bed and cried for about ten minutes and finally got up and grabbed her keys, cell phone, and suitcase. She was shaking badly as she made her way to her car.

Amber shoved the suitcase in the trunk, opened her door, and got in. She tried to start her car but her hands were shaking to bad and she could not even put the key in the ignition. She could not control herself. Amber knew right then she could not drive and make it to the airport alive. She grabbed her cell phone off the passenger seat and dialed her current girlfriend Liz. She hung up right away as she remembered Liz was in South Carolina, she left school early for spring break and went home for a couple of days before she was going to meet Amber in Cancun next week. Amber then tried her friend Tammy but got no answer. Then her friend Steve and again no answer. Tomorrow was Friday and the next week was spring break and the students who did not have class on Friday already left for the break. She called three other people and got no one. She started panicking worse and shaking worse and crying harder. She looked at her phone contacts and saw one more name she could call. She never called that number even through it was put in her phone over a year ago. Amber took a deep breath and pressed the call button. She knew this person would be in town since she had the same test Amber was studying for. It was answered after only three rings.

"Why hello…this is a surprise, Amber St. Claire." The pleasant but sleepy sounding female voice said with a hint of sarcasm. It hit Amber the girl put her name and number in her phone as well. "I thought you have forgotten about me. So what…"

"Ummm…Carly…it's Amber…Amber St. Claire…well you know…Carly…sorry to wake you…I…I…I need your help…I hate to ask…Its…its…please Carly I need you to help me." Amber choked and started sobbing again.

"Amber…are you ok…where are you? Tell me where you are and I am on my way over right now!" Carly said in genuine worry.

Amber explained she was in her dorms parking lot and she needed Carly to give her a ride to the airport. Carly hung up and then fifteen minutes later she was there. Her dorm was not far. She had quickly put on a pair of jeans and a green shirt and Amber briefly thought in jealousy only she could look that good just that fast after she just got out of bed but it passed quickly when Amber realized she came to help. Amber explained again what she needed and Carly, seeing how upset Amber was, walked the girl to her car, helped her in the passenger seat, got her luggage and placed it in her car's trunk, and drove Amber to the airport. Amber, through her sobs, explained all she knew and Carly realized it was serious. Carly tried calling ahead of time to book a flight but she was placed on hold too many times and gave up.

They got to the airport, the closet one offering flights to Seattle, and Carly walked with Amber to the ticket counter rolling Ambers bag behind her. It was not crowded and they were soon at the counter. Carly told the airline clerk what they needed and luckily there was a flight in thirty minutes with plenty of room. The clerk told them the price and Amber went to grab her purse to get her credit card and realized she left her purse in her dorm room. She almost lost it again and Carly pulled out her wallet from her purse and her credit card and paid for _two_ tickets. Amber looked at her incredibly and Carly just said she was in no condition to fly alone. Amber protested of course about Carly coming with her and paying for the ticket, but the tall beautiful brunette would have none of it and reminded Amber if they did not hurry they would miss the flight.

They got to the airport in Seattle with no delays and met Patrick at the gate. Carly turned over the crying girl to her brother, who hugged her very tight and acted like he did not want to let go. He then looked at Carly and his blue eyes lit up. Carly smiled at him and blushed. It had been over two years since she last saw Amber's brother when she went to Amber's house that day to talk to the girl but Carly thought about him on occasion.

"Thank you for bringing her." He said and Carly blushed deeper.

Amber broke the hug and noticed how tired he looked. She then held Patrick's hands. "Patrick, this is Carly Shay. Carly, this is my brother Patrick. Carly…Carly is…she's a friend of mine. Oh, sorry, I forgot the two of you met once." Amber smiled through her tears at Carly, who smiled back. Patrick, who knew who Carly was and the past the girl and his sister shared from Amber's stories, stuck his hand out and shook the brunette's hand. Carly felt like a jolt of electricity went through her body. It was a feeling she never experienced before, and all from a simple hand shake just like the first time she met him and shook his hand. She blushed again when she realized after ten seconds she was still holding this beautiful man's hand. Amber gave her a strange look but said nothing.

Patrick cleared his throat, "Amber we had better go, I parked out front and I don't want them to tow the car. I paid the baggage handler a fifty to watch it for me but I don't want to get him in trouble." He tried to pry Amber off him to get her bag, but his sister would not let go.

"I'll take it….you just look after her." Carly said and gave the man a dazzling smile and was happy to see him smile back as he nodded.

Patrick half carried and half walked Amber to the car while Carly followed behind with the suitcase. When they got to the car, her picked his sister up and placed her in the passenger seat like she was a child and then put the suitcase in the trunk. He looked at Carly, who was standing on the curb looking lost, "You coming?"

Carly looked stunned for a moment, she had planned on trying to either get a flight back to California tonight or call Spencer to pick her up. She knew this was not her place, but Amber rolled down her window and leaned her head out.

"Come on, Carly, I doubt you could get a flight anyway…and…no sense staying here by yourself. I am sure Patrick could take you wherever you wanted to go." She said through her tears.

Carly smiled softly and got in the passenger seat of the car. The thought of Amber's brother driving her anywhere excited her. Once in the car and after they drove a little over a mile, Amber finally found her voice and the courage to speak. She took a deep breath.

"Ok, Patrick, tell me what is going on…I'm scared…real scared." She choked out.

Patrick took a deep breath and kept his eyes on the rode, "A little over eight months ago, Ran was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. She has been taking chemo and radiation treatments…but…two weeks ago it got worse and she had been in the hospital for the last eight days."

Amber looked at him in shock and heard a small "Oh, God" whispered from the back seat, "W…what…eight months ago…in the hospital for ten d…days…I…I don't understand! I talked to her six days ago and we made…made plans to go to Mexico…I…saw her a little over a month and she looked…well she lost a lot of weight and…told me she had been working out hard…I…Why didn't anyone fucking tell me! How long have you known? How long has Jason known…does he know? Why…why didn't her mom and dad say something? Hell I talked to them two weeks ago! Why didn't she tell me?" Amber screamed and felt a hand on her shoulder from the back seat. She shook it off, "No! No! I…I want answers! Fucking tell me Patrick…why didn't someone tell me?" Amber screamed at her brother.

"Amber…honey…we wanted to…we all did including Jason…but Ran made us promise…she said that if we…she wanted us to honor this one request she had. You know how she is…she saw this as a competition. Her body versus a disease that she would fight and beat and overcome this, she saw it as a contest she could win. Anyway, she told us not to tell you until it was time…and…and it's time." Patrick said in his calm soothing voice. "She knew…well she knew you would have dropped out of school to be with her and…you would have a hard time…anyway, she made us promise her and we all did. It was hard for us, baby, real hard."

"What do you mean…until it was time and…and it's time? I…I don't understand!"

Patrick looked at his sister as they stopped at a traffic light. Amber saw his eyes were watery and that scared her even more, Patrick did not cry often. She saw him cry only once in her life and that was when she was in the hospital that time she got beat up. Not even at their parent's funeral. "Am…Amber…oh baby, Ran is…she's dying, baby, she…" Patrick swallowed hard, "She doesn't have…she's dying." Another "Oh God" from the back seat.

"No! No! She…no, it's not true! She…she is playing a joke and a very terrible one at that! I am going to tell her off for this one. I have a test tomorrow and…and so does Carly and I dragged her in the joke…this is not funny!" Amber looked at her brother and saw the look on his face, "No…not her…Oh God please tell me she is…it's a joke!" Amber placed her head in her hands and started to sob and repeated "no" over and over again. The hand fell on her shoulder again and this time she did not push it off. She knew it was no joke.

The car started moving again, "Amber…listen to me…you have to listen. She…she told us to call you and she wants to see you…badly…its all she wants right now, to see you…but you have to listen to me." Amber nodded through her sobbing and Patrick continued, "Ran is…she…I don't want you to be shocked…she…well, she does not look the same. I want you to be prepared. She lost so much weight and she lost her hair due to the radiation…just don't act shocked. I want…no, Ran needs you to be strong. You have to be in front of her."

"Ok." Amber choked out. The rest of the ride to the hospital was quite except for Amber's crying. When they got to the hospital, Patrick drove up front and dropped Amber off and she was met by a nurse. Carly started to get out, but Patrick asked her kindly if she would go with him to park the car to give Amber time. Carly nodded and mentally kicked herself for being stupid. She wondered why she was even there…it was not her place to be there.

The nurse held her hand and led Amber to the elevator and through the wide hallways if the hospital and finally to a door. The nurse let go of her hand and smiled kindly and opened the door. Amber took a deep breath to calm her self and walked in. She saw Mr. and Mrs. Isuel and Jason crowding the room. The nurse reminded them only three visitors in the room at one time and Jason nodded and walked out. As he walked by Amber he hugged the crying girl tight. Amber looked into his eyes and saw they were swollen and blood shot. He left the room and muttered he had to go but would be back in the morning. She got more frightened. She hugged Ran's parents without a word, they all knew now was not the time to talk. That would be later. Amber had to struggle to lift her eyes to the bed. She let out a loud croak of pain and quickly silenced herself. In the bed Ran laid with her eyes closed; she seemed asleep.

At first Amber did not recognize the girl. Her cheeks were sunken in and her face had a hallow look to it and her beautiful lips were dry and flaky with dead skin. Her arm that was laid across her chest had tubes running out of it and was so thin. Amber could not believe those were the same strong muscle toned arms that held her many times in the past. Her head was bald as she had lost all her hair due to the treatment. Amber noticed that the blanket on the bed was covering something that could not be her best friend. It was too small, too thin, to sickly…it could not have been Ran. This could not be the tall, beautiful, sexy, Asian girl she loved. This thin…thing…in the bed could not be her best friend who was so strong and had a perfectly toned female body. At the sound of her small cry the girl in the bed opened her eyes and Amber saw the wonderful brown eyes that used to be so full of life of her friend somewhere in those now dull ovals. The girl looked around and her eyes locked with Ambers and she smiled weekly.

"A…Ams…is that you, baby." The voice said weekly. Amber stood there frozen in fear. She nodded her head.

"Well…come over here and give me a hug…I…I missed you, silly." The weak voice said again and Amber ran to the bed and gently hugged the sick girl. "Harder, Ams, I…I need to feel you now…I…hug me and don't let go…please. I…I…need you, baby, never let me go." The girl whispered in her ear. Amber hugged her friend as tight as she dared and heard Ran let out a small moan of pleasure. The sick girl raised her arm and stroked Amber's hair weakly and lifted her head and kissed the girl's cheek and then pressed her mouth to Amber's ear.

"I…I guess I forgot to tell you something huh?"

Amber let out a short choking chuckle and then broke down. Her tears soaked her friends face, "R…Ran…no…you can't…please…please Ran…not you…please…don't leave me…I…I can't…no…not you…please Ran…you…you can fight this…you can get better…I know you…please fight it Ran…please don't leave me…I…I can't be without you, Ran…please…don't do this to me…noooo!" Amber sobbed in the sick girl's arms. Mrs. Isuel led the other people from the room to give the two girls this precious time alone.

Ran felt sadness for her friend, but she had no tears left. She had cried over and over again for the past eight months. She cried not because she was sick, she did not cry when the doctor gave her only a few months, she did not cry eight days ago when she passed out and woke up in the hospital and knew she would not be going home. No, all her tears were for the girl hugging her right now. When she first got diagnosed she fought, but she knew this was one competition she was not going to win. She knew the disease would win and claim its victory. She knew why it would win…it would win because of a deal she made with the devil when she was fourteen. She cried because of the pain her death would cause a girl she made a promise and a deal with hell she would never allow to be hurt again. She failed that promise twice in her life and one of those times was when she turned her back on her friend and that promise, and this beautiful wonderful girl got terribly hurt as a result. Her best friend, a girl she held so much love for, forgave her and forgot the betrayal; but the devil never forgives or forgets. Now he was claiming what was his. But that did not frighten her. No, what scared her was who would take care of this wonderful precious girl hugging her now. The girl she made a deal with the devil and cursed God to protect and promise she would never allow to be hurt again. That was why Ran cried over the past eight months. She was not afraid of death, she was afraid to leave her friend alone.

Ran chuckled weekly, "Ams, baby…you are priceless…only you of all people would sit on the death bed of her best friend and make it all about you. I…I have to leave, baby, I'm so tired, Ams, so sleepy…I tried you know…I tried to win, but…I was fighting something stronger than I was. I love you, my silly Caucasian friend…I love you more than I loved anyone in my life. B…but it hurts, baby…it hurts so bad and I'm so tired."

Amber, still crying, kissed the sick girl's sunken cheek, "I…I love you too, my beautiful Korean friend."

"Finally got it right after all these years, huh?" Ran said in a weak but stronger voice than before. "Look at the bright side, Ams."

Amber still hugging her friend and crying softly now whispered sadly, "Bright side…what could bright about this."

Ran gently pushed her friend away and looked into her eyes and smiled weakly, "Patrick has been here every night for the past eight days, refusing to leave me. He even spent almost all his free time with me over the past three months. He said he owed me for when I hung around him and bugged him to no end after your mom and dad died, but I think he is secretly and madly in love with me. It was…it was great. We did not talk about death or disease or dying and there was no crying…we just hung out and laughed and…he was so sweet to me, Ams, so sweet to me."

Amber smiled through her tears, "Yes, Ran baby, he loves you. He loves you so much." She said with sincerity.

Ran smiled and still staring out her friend she reached up and tried to braid the locks of her hair that framed her face, "I miss the red streaks. You are so beautiful, Amber, so beautiful. Have I ever told you that? You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." Amber bit her lower lip and nodded, she could not speak. "I…I…I'm sorry for not telling you. It hurt not to…but I did not want you to be sad. I…I could not stand to see you sad again…it would have crushed me." Amber nodded and whispered it was ok and Ran continued, "And of course I don't think I could have taken it with you constantly huddling over me." Amber chuckled against her will, "Ams…Ams, I'm scared. I…I haven't admitted that to anyone, not even Jason…but I'm afraid, baby. Promise me you won't tell anyone…ok…promise me that one thing."

Amber sobbed again and hugged Ran again, "I…I promise, Ran…I promise." Ran finally felt the first tears since she saw her friend run down her cheek. The two girls spent the next ten minutes crying without breaking their hug until the door opened and Amber heard Mrs. Isuel whisper her name and she looked up. Standing next to Ran's mother was an Asian man…a Catholic priest. Amber was raised protestant by her mom and dad when she was younger and even went to church with her mom every Sunday, but she still knew what the presence of the priest meant. She looked at Mrs. Isuel and then Ran and then glared at the priest with pure hate in her green eyes.

"No! No!" She screamed at him, "No! You cannot have her! She's mine! You cannot take her! Leave…leave her alone!"

"Amber, please, dear, he needs to talk to Hu-Ran." Mrs. Isuel said softly as she moved to the girl and gently took her hand. "They need to be alone."

Amber jerked her hand away, "No! He can't take her from me! I won't let him have her! No! Nooo! She belongs to me!" She glared at the priest again, "You hear me! You or your God cannot take her like He took my mommy and daddy! Wasn't that enough for _your _God! She's mine not His…Nooo! I won't let you have her!" Amber screamed and Mrs. Isuel stepped away from Amber as she saw Ran nod to her. Ran pulled Amber close to her and whispered in her ear.

"Ams, I…I asked to see him…I…I need to see him. It'll be ok, baby." She whispered calmly in her friend's ear. Amber held Ran tight.

"No, Ran, no…don't let him near you! Don't let him take you…please Ran…send him away! Make him leave! Please…please, Ran. Make him leave!" She begged the sick girl.

Ran ran her fingers through the girl's thick black hair, "Amber, please listen to me honey…I asked him to come. I…I need to talk to him. I need…I…need to do something…to…to…atone for something bad I did…please Amber, I am not leaving today…I promise you. Just let me talk to him…please."

Amber nodded and looked at the priest again with fierce hatred still blazing in her green eyes, "I hate you! She's mine and you are not taking her from me! I hate you and your God. Damn you and Damn Him for wanting to take her from me! She…she's to good for you and your God! I…I won't let Him have her…I…I…tell Him…tell Him to take _me_ instead! Tell Him He can have me but not her! Do it! Work your fucking magic and take me! What are you waiting for! Do it, damn you…get on your fucking knees and pray! Tell your God to _murder me_ like he murdered my parents and to leave Ran alone! She is too good to die!" Amber screamed at the priest and Mrs. Isuel made the sign of the cross over herself while the priest lowered his head sadly. Amber felt Ran pull her to her again, this time with strength. The sick girl held Amber in a tight hug and placed her lips to her ear and whispered harshly.

"Amber Camille St. Claire, you listen to me! You take that back…you take that back right now! You…you don't…you can't…no…no…you don't say things like that! You…you…no…no…I won't have it! You tell him…you tell him you did not mean that! I…I will not allow it! Do you hear me! I will not allow it!" Both girls cried harder and Ran looked at the priest as Amber buried her head in her chest, "She didn't mean. Please forgive her. She's just hurting."

The priest gently pulled Amber away from her friend and held the girl in his strong arms. At first she tried to break free and run back to her friend, but he held her tight and after a few seconds she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed. He placed his hand on her head and Amber looked up and for the first time saw his face clearly. He was a kindly looking man about fifty years of age and had soothing dark brown eyes. "I'm…I…I'm sorry…I did not mean what I said…I…I'm sorry, sir." Amber whispered to the Priest. He looked down and smiled at her. It was a kind smile.

"I know child…I know…and so does God. Now may I have _your_ permission to talk to your friend alone? She asked me to come and it would be a nice favor for her." He said kindly.

Amber smiled sadly at him and allowed Mrs. Isuel to walk her from the room. She glanced at Ran one last time and the Asian girl smiled and mouthed "thank you." Amber quickly ran back to her friend and hugged her again and whispered in her ear, "You are beautiful as well, Ran…very beautiful. You are the most beautiful girl_ I_ have ever seen." She let go and grabbed Mrs. Isuel hand and the two walked from the room and left Ran alone with the priest.

Mrs. Isuel led Amber to a private waiting room and Amber saw Ran's dad in a corner crying softly and talking to Patrick and she noticed Carly was still there. The tall lovely brunette was standing alone by the window. Amber felt she should go over and think the girl…to do something for her, but she could not. All she could do was let Mrs. Isuel sit her down on a couch and place herself next to her. Amber laid her head down in the woman's lap and cried as Mrs. Isuel stroked her hair.

"She loves you, Amber. She loves you more than I could ever understand." She paused as Amber whispered "I know" and decided to remain silent and let the woman talk. She knew Ran's mother needed this. Needed to talk to her and tell her things she could not tell anyone else even her husband. Amber knew she had to be a daughter to the woman who cared for her. It was time. Mrs. Isuel continued, "She is my daughter and we have a bound and share a love only a mother and daughter can have. Like you had with your mother. But the love she has for you is deeper and stronger. I never understood it. I had childhood friends I loved and cared for and I loved you mother dearly. She was my best friend in my adult years. But with Hu-Ran and you…I…I never had a love like that. Ran, told me she loves Jason," That was the first time in her life Amber ever heard Ran's mother use her nick name, "and I was happy. He is a good boy and so kind to her and us during this terrible time. But she loves you more…sometimes I think more than she loves us, her own parents. No…no…child, please I do not mean that in a jealous way. I was happy she could love someone besides her mother and father."

"Ran was…well she was cold growing up. Not mean or cruel, just did not show emotions much. Oh, She would show them with me and her father, but no ones else. But she hated to let her emotions control her…until she met you. She never had friends when she was little and never needed them... She had a few boys or girls she played with, but she did not care for them much. To her they were convenient when she wanted a play mate and when she did not, she sent them home. She treated them like a toy for her to play with. Don't misunderstand me, Amber, Ran was a sweet child and never cruel or a bully. She was just…well she did her own thing. Then she met you." Mrs. Isuel chuckled as she stroked Amber's hair, "I remember that day so clearly. I was worried about her in school. I was worried she would isolate herself and not have friends. I was so wrong. I picked her up on that first day and asked how her day was and she told me about you. She told me she helped you when a boy was picking on you and then she told me she had a best friend named Amber. I of course smiled and said it was sweet, thinking she would treat her new friend like her others. She would get bored and that would be it. But all the way home she chatted on and on about her friend Amber. Then when her father came home she told him all about you as well. For that entire week every night she would tell us all about things you and her did and talk all about you. I was so happy she found a friend and realized she may have truly found a best friend she actually liked. The next week I was determined to meet you and your parents. That Monday when I went to pick Ran up I waited and met you and your mother and we set a play date for the two of you that Saturday." Mrs. Isuel sniffled and Amber realized for the first time during the story she had been quietly crying softly.

"We, your mother and I, took you and Ran to a park to play…your fathers talked on the phone earlier that week and made plans to play golf that day. At the park the two of you played so well together and Ran would not let you out of her sight. I remember a little boy came up to you and wanted to play with you and Ran pushed him away and told him you were her friend. I was mortified and went to scold her, but your mother placed her hand on my knee and shook her head telling me to let the two of you play. I was so happy to see her with you and knew that day you would be a friend to her she would never grow bored with. It also started another beautiful friendship between your parents and my husband and I. Funny how you mother knew then. When Ran pushed that boy down and told me to let the two of you play your mother told me…what were her words…oh yes, 'Hei, we are witnessing the start of a unique friendship that will last a lifetime. One that may be tested but will weather any storm. Let them be, friendships like that are very rare and do not come along everyday.' She was so correct."

"I never understood her love for you or what drew her to you. Of course you were a charming child and oh so beautiful like you are now…just like your mother. But why you? I would ask myself. Why did she choose you? What made her choose you? I never could determine that and finally stopped asking because you made her so happy. As the two of you got older and developed different personalities I thought you would grow apart. You and her were so different. She was into sports and being a tom boy and you were into clothes and makeup and being a young lady. But the two of you still remained close…closer…and I was glad. At one time I thought the two of you were lovers…after…well…when you…you know." Amber looked up.

"No, ma'm…we never…well…we never…It was never like that between us…it was more." Mrs. Isuel chuckled.

"I know, dear, the love she had for you was deeper than that." Amber smiled as Ran's mother took a deep breath and continued, "Well…I just wanted you to know how much she loves you, Amber."

Amber sat up and hugged Mrs. Isuel tight, "I love her too…I love her so much and…and I know what she means to me and what I mean to her. I hope you know that."

"I know, dear, I never doubted that and neither did she. I think God sent you to her to be her friend. And speaking of God, what you said in there to Father Hue…"

Amber leaned back from the woman's arms, "I…I am sorry. I know it was very disrespectful…and…I'm sorry."

Mrs. Isuel smiled, "It was blasphemy, child, but I think it was the sweetest thing you ever said…willing to take her place."

"I meant it! I would…but...but she would not let me would she? Ran would never let me do that, would she?"

Mrs. Isuel smiled, "No dear, she would not. She loves you more than she loves her own life…she would not allow you to trade with her."

Amber hugged her best friend's mother again and started to cry harder, "Hei…what am I going to do? What am I going to do without her? I…I can't…I love her so much and I don't know what I am going to do…" Amber cried and it was one of the few times she used the woman's first name.

Hei Isuel hugged the girl tight, "I will tell you what you…what we all will do…we will show my daughter we are strong like her. We will not shed a tear in front of her. We will show her we are brave…and you, dear, you will show her you can live without her protection. She is tired, Amber, so tired of the pain and the sickness. She is suffering, honey, she is suffering terribly. I…I think she suffers and lives with the pain because of you. She is afraid to leave this world because she is afraid to leave you alone to face it by yourself and afraid she has to be here to protect you. She is willing to take the pain and torment for you, Amber. But we cannot allow her to suffer anymore. So we will show her how strong we can be. _You _will show her how strong _you_ can be. We will morn and shed our tears…as many as we want and for as long as we need…away from her. But when we go into that room, Ran will see us as brave and we will show her courage."

Amber looked into the woman's eyes, "Yes, m'am, I promise."

"Good…now you must go talk to my husband. He is not as strong. You brother has been a Godsend to him…to us…he has such strength we do not and he has been so kind to my little girl over the past months. They are so much alike your brother and my daughter." Amber stared at her brother and realized Ran's mother was right. Ran and Patrick were very similar. She wondered why she never saw it before. Mrs. Isuel gently pushed Amber to her feet and watched as the girl hugged her husband and they both broke down in sobs as they hugged and Patrick walked away. The woman looked up and crossed herself, "God…I have prayed to you a hundred times a day. I have prayed for my daughter, my husband, and for myself. I have prayed my thanks for my friends and family during this terrible time. I have prayed to heal my precious child and never lost my faith when your will decided to take her from us. I now pray for that wonderful child and while no one can replace my Hu-Ran I will continue to love her as I have loved my daughter. Please protect her, Lord, and watch over her. We all have had time to prepare for the next few days, but she has not. Give her strength, Lord, to make it through this difficult time. And thank you, Lord, thank you for the love she has for and gave my baby girl. Amen." She crossed herself and looked around and saw a lovely brunette girl standing alone by the window and decided to speak to her.

Carly stood by the window for a long time. She had not idea why she even stayed. It was not that she did not like Ran, the two got along ok in school. They were not best friends but they were friendly to one another. No, she knew this was not her place. She did not belong here with them. They were a family and she was not a member. She had no idea why she went so far in helping Amber. She had every intention of driving the girl to the airport and seeing her on the plane and telling her she hoped all would be alright, but seeing the girl like that was sad and she decided to go further. _Spencer is going to kill me when he sees the credit card bill with those tickets on it_, she thought. And then when they landed she was going to call Spencer, explain everything, have him pick her up, and then call the airline and have her plane ticket changed to leave from Seattle for her spring break. She was meeting her current boy friend and going to spend the week with him and his family in Cape Cod. She really was not looking forward to that and hoped he did not expect anything but good company. _Damn…twenty-one years old and still a virgin…I am pathetic. Sam tells me to go ahead and just do it…but I can't. I have tried but always stop. I am just not ready. Sam calls me the Ice Queen…ha! Look at her she has not dated anyone seriously since Amber and no one at all in the past nine months. I may be the Ice Queen, but at least I have a chance to have my castle melted. She is like a nun now_, Carly smiled as she thought of her friend. _Yes I was going to call Spencer but then I saw him. Amber's brother standing there and looking so damn hot and...ummm yummy! And when he touched me…God I wanted him right then. I never wanted anyone like that…or in anyway. God, Carly, you are sick! This is not the time_! Carly frowned when she saw Amber. The poor girl looked like she was having a breakdown. _Apparently she really wigged out in the room with Ran, hell a doctor came and asked me if he should get her a sedative_…Carly then thought what if it was Sam in the room. Then it hit her why she did so much for Amber. She would have hoped someone would have done the same for her if it was Sam in that room. That is why she did it. _Sam…oh hell Sam! That's it! That's it!_ Carly grabbed her cell phone and watched Patrick walk to the elevator and kicked herself for the dirty thoughts and dialed a number.

Amber talked a little to Ran's father and saw Carly out of the corner of her eye talking on her cell phone. Amber cried and hugged Mr. Isuel and the two shared some stories about Ran and she saw Ran's mother speak briefly to Carly and then saw the priest go talk to Mrs. Isuel and the two walked toward her.

"Amber, I need my husband. We must go talk to Hu-Ran now. We have things to talk about. We have to make plans."

"What…what plans? What…" Amber asked and then she knew. They had to make funeral plans. Amber did not want to think of that or even ask if she could be there. She did not want to hear about it. "Oh…ok…can…when you are done…can I go back in and see her…I…"

Mrs. Isuel smiled, "She needs her sleep, Amber. She got too excited in seeing you and the doctor told us she needs some rest. I do not think she even got this excited when Patrick would visit with her every night." Ran's mother smiled, "Come home with us tonight and we can visit tomorrow."

"I…I…no…I thought I could stay here…I mean…I…I want to be with her." Amber whispered.

The priest spoke up for the girl, "You know, Hei, after talking to your daughter…I think having this young lady here would be the best thing for Ran." He looked at Amber and winked, "If you promise not to curse God that is."

Amber blushed, "I…I promise…and again I'm sorry."

Mrs. Isuel smiled, "Ok…I will clear it with the doctors…it they agree it is ok."

Mr. Isuel looked at his wife, "Damn right they will agree. If she wants to stay and keep my little girl company, then by hell she will. As much money as I give this hospital for charity they should give us a damn suite and let us all stay." He smiled and winked at Amber, "You stay, dear, the doctors be damned."

Amber chuckled and thanked him and the three left to go to Ran's room leaving her alone with Carly. Patrick went to the cafeteria to get some coffee and said he wanted to be alone for a while. Amber never knew he cared that much for Ran and felt a sudden rush of deep love for her brother who had been so kind to her best friend. Amber sat down on a plush couch and tried to think of happy things with Ran, but they still made her sad. She started to cry again. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and looked up. Carly was in front of her offering her a bottle of water. Amber smiled and took it and drank a large swallow and saw Carly sit down next to her and felt Amber's hand grab for hers. Carly allowed the girl to take her hand and hold it. After about ten minutes of silence Carly turned to Amber.

"Did you know the doctor paid me a very high compliment a while back?" Amber looked at her confused. The she realized what Carly was doing. She was trying to get Amber to talk about anything but Ran.

Amber smiled, "No…I didn't know…but let me guess. He told you that you are the prettiest girl he ever saw." There was no malice in the voice only a little teasing.

Carly smiled, "No…close…but no. He asked me if you needed a sedative and I told him he should ask your brother since I was just…I told him I was a…a…a friend. And he told me we looked like we could be sisters. And I thought it was a compliment to be compared to a girl as pretty as you."

Amber smiled at her, "Your sweet…and Carly, you are so kind for what you did. I am sorry I have not thanked you yet…and I'm sorry, Carly…I…I'm so sorry."

Carly looked at her and knew she did not mean she was sorry for asking for her help but something else. "Sorry…for what?"

Amber swallowed another large gulp of water, "I'm sorry for hating you so much. Not just in high school but also after. Even when you offered me friendship last year and explained things…I still hated you and was jealous of you. I've always been jealous of you. I was jealous of your looks, your class, your grace, and even…jealous of you and Samantha. I hated you Carly and you showed me nothing but kindness tonight…I'm sorry I ever hated you. You are a good person and even now I am jealous of that kindness."

Carly held up her hand, "Amber, I am not that kind…really…I...you would have done the same and even more. Sam always told me you were the kindest person she ever knew…and she was right. I hope one day I can be as kind as you. I'm not, Amber. Trust me, I am not that kind. You had a right to hate me. I did try and take Sam from you, remember? It was not until after the fact I realized I was not gay. And…well I hated you and was jealous of you…until last year…for the same reasons you hated me. I always thought you were so beautiful and graceful and sweet and kind…funny all we would have had to do was talk and things may have been different. And yes you would have done the same for me…I know it."

Amber sighed, "Yeah I would have done it for you…but the reason would have been different. I would have done it for you because your best friend is Samantha and I would have done it more for her than you. Maybe I would have not helped you or gone as far as you did it your best friend was someone else."

Carly smiled, "Yeah, Amber, you would have because I know Sam better than anyone and she is right about you…you are a kind person. Again, much kinder than me and now is not the time to hash out old arguments or try to…well be friends. There's someone who wants to see you." Carly then pointed to something behind Amber's back.

Amber turned around and getting off the elevator was a very pretty blonde girl with straight blonde hair that ran a little past her shoulders. She was dressed in jean Capri pants and a blue long sleeve tee shirt. She smiled shyly at Amber.

"Samantha." Amber whispered and only Carly heard her. She then stood up, "Samantha! Ohh, Samantha!" Amber screamed and ran and jumped in the blonde's arms with such force it knocked the blonde girl against the now closed elevator doors. Sam did not care or say a word, she just hugged Amber tight and stoked her hair as the girl cried in her arms.

"They…they say she's dying Samantha…she…she is so sick. I…" Amber broke down again and sobbed in her ex girlfriend's arms.

"I know, baby, I know." Sam just whispered and held her. She also had tears in her eyes. After a few minutes Amber took a shaky breath and pulled apart. She looked in those wonderful blue eyes.

"Samantha…I…I need you…I need you as a friend…please…please be my friend again." Amber asked the girl.

Sam smiled, "You never lost it, silly."

Amber smiled, "How did you know? How come you are here?"

Sam looked past Amber shoulders, "Carls called me. She told me…well…she told be you needed me to be here. Amber, I'm so sorry…I had no idea she was sick. I mean…I…oh, baby I'm sorry."

Amber sniffled, "I know you did not know…after…after we broke up you and her never talked…so…ummm…can we sit down? Will you stay for a while? Mr. Isuel is going to ask the doctor if I can stay with her, but for now…will you just sit and hold my hand? I…I need you, Samantha. And your hair looks great by the way."

Sam smiled, "I would like to see anyone trying to make me leave."

They made their way to the couch and Carly mentioned she was going to get some coffee and maybe see if Patrick needed anything. She got on the elevator and before the doors closed she found Amber suddenly hugging her tight. Carly hesitated for about two seconds and hugged the girl back. Amber broke the hug and looked up at the tall brunette.

"Thank you, Carly, thank you for everything you have done. And…and you are wrong…you are a kind person. I very kind person." Amber leaned up and kissed her check and got off the elevator before the doors closed. On the ride down to the cafeteria, Carly touched her cheek where Amber kissed it and smiled_. Well…you did good Carly Shay. You did good._

Carly made her way to the cafeteria, which was closed expect for coffee and vending machines snacks. She saw Amber's brother sitting at a table alone drinking coffee from a paper cup. No one else was around this late at night but a few nurses giggling and eyeing Patrick with interest. Carly took a deep breath and walked over to him, and noticed the disappointed looks from the three nurses.

"Hey…umm mind if I sit?" She asked. He looked up and she almost melted from those blue eyes.

"Sure…I was just thinking anyway."

"I'm sorry about Ran."

"Yeah me too…she's a good girl." He chuckled, "When my mom and dad died she bugged the hell out of me. Followed me around, begged to come with me when I went somewhere…annoyed the hell out of me…but I liked it. She told me I needed someone to talk, but I always thought it was for another reason."

Carly smiled, "Yeah, I am sure she had a crush on you."

Patrick smiled at the beautiful brunette and thought he never saw eyes like hers before. So dark and mysterious looking and haunting but in a good way, "Well…yeah I guess she did. Amber always told me she had a crush on me since she was like seven or eight…but no. She hung around with me because it hurt her to see Amber in such pain. Ran loves my sister a great deal. And well…Amber took out parent's death very hard. She was much closer to them than I was. I am sure you understand, your mom…well…died so you can understand."

Carly nodded and was surprised he knew that, "Yeah, but my mom died when I was young. I was two. I never could determine if it was better or worse. I mean…I miss my mom, but would it have been worse to have her die when I was older. I…to get to know her and have a close relationship with her and all or was it worse not to know her."

Patrick nodded in understanding, "So your dad…he is in the Navy right? Seals? Captain Charles Shay, Right?

Carly looked surprised again, "Yeah…he is in Europe right now…or so I am told…sometimes I have no clue where he is. He is retiring next year. So…umm…how did you know?" She was glad he knew about her. It made her feel…warm all over.

Patrick leaned back and stretched and Carly started at his muscular arms and chest through his tee shirt. _Oh, God he is so beautiful_, she thought. Patrick smiled, "I met him…a couple of times in Iraq and Afghanistan. We…umm…let's say we worked together several times…that's all I can say. But he found out I was from Seattle and told me about you and your brother. I remembered him, Spencer right, from school. He was…odd…but a nice guy and funny…in a good way. I liked him."

Carly smiled and for some reason felt good this man liked and remembered her brother as she stared at those muscles and had very inappropriate thoughts…very inappropriate. She was brought back from her fantasies by his next question.

"So, Carly Shay, why are you here…not that I don't appreciate it and am very grateful, but why? You and Amber are not the best of friends…yeah I know…she tells me a lot. It was a long drive from Washington to Georgia and my sister can talk a lot…to much sometimes." Patrick forced a chuckle. "You and Sam are good friends, right?"

Carly blushed, "I…I...hell…I really do not know why I did it. She called me all upset and at first I thought she was hurt and I knew she needed help…she would not have called me of all people if she did not need help…" Carly explained how she drove Amber to the airport and had to buy her ticket and just oddly ended up in the hospital with her. She then told this beautiful man…and he was that…she called Sam and she was now upstairs with Amber. Patrick frowned over that. He did not seem happy. Carly questioned him about it.

"Look…I never had a problem with Sam…and to let you know, I never had a problem with Amber being gay. But Sam…and you for that matter…hurt my sister. I don't like anyone who hurts my sister. She told me all about what happened…wait let me finish…and of course she told me when you saw her a year ago and that you and Sam were just friends. But Amber was crushed. My sister is not a strong person, Carly, and she takes loss and rejection very…well badly. She is better now, much stronger than she was. It took some doing to get there, but she did. With Ran…dying…it is going to be horrible for her and now with Sam here it may be worse. Regardless of what she admits, Amber still loves her. I love my sister, Carly, maybe a little too much and I spoil her a great deal, I'm sure Spencer would feel the same as me when it came to you, and right know she is going to be hurting in a way I cannot help her. That drives me crazy…not being able to help her…so I don't think I can stand idly by and watch when some girl who hurt her deeply and that she is still love with show up and expect…whatever she expects."

Carly felt like crawling under the table, this Greek god she just told her he did not like her and for some reason she felt terrible and sad. "I…well…I…well that was…I…I guess I'll go." She stood and turned to walk away but stopped when she heard his voice.

"Sit down." She froze at the command in his tone and had to secretly admit it gave her a shiver of excitement. "Please…sit down." To her surprise she sat back down even through she did not want to. She did not care how hot he was, she did not like being with people who did not like her and who dissed her best friend.

He took a sip of his coffee, "But what you did…not only getting Amber here but staying with her on the plane was a big deal and very kind of you. I am not happy you called Sam, I'll deal with that later, but I owe you, Carly. I owe you for the kindness you showed my sister. First I would like to buy you a cup of this terrible coffee and then I would like to ask for the pleasure of your company for a while, before we go upstairs and see to the Sam thing…then you are going to call your brother and let him know where you are and I will take you home, and then I am going to make arrangements to pay you back for the airline tickets. So, Carly Shay, may I buy you a cup of coffee?" Patrick asked with a kind charming smile Carly could not resist.

"Patrick, by the way, Sam is a good person…a very good person." Carly said in defense of her best friend as Patrick stood, "And if you think _I am_ going to stand idly by and watch you yell at her then _you_ are mistaken. And as far as what she expects…Sam is not like that at all! She has her faults like we all do, but that is not one of them. She came here to comfort Amber and nothing else. And for your information, Patrick, she still has feelings for Amber. I don't know if she still loves her, but she cares for her. Maybe that is what Amber does need! Maybe she needs Sam to talk to, to hold her, to have her shoulder to cry on. She certainly does not need some big overgrown oaf of an older brother telling her who she can and who she can't talk to!" She said in a strong tone.

Patrick smiled at her fierceness, "See you are getting me to like you, Carly Shay, first for what you did for Amber…and me…and then sticking up for your friend. Loyalty to a friend is a very positive thing. Hell, I may actually be in love with you after our conversation if you keep this up." He grinned and went to get her coffee. Carly felt a thrill in her body again when he said the last part. Of course she knew he was teasing her, but it sounded great to her.

Amber walked back to sit next to Sam on the couch and as soon as she sat down, Sam wrapped her arm around her and pulled her tight. The sat in silence for about ten minutes and both girls knew they had a lot to talk about but now was not the time. Amber lay down and put her head in Sam's lap and purred as the blonde started stoking her hair. She cried softly. Sam cleared her throat.

"I think Carly went chasing after your brother for more than just to keep him company." The blonde said with a smile.

Amber looked up at Sam with a look of horror on her face, "Oh…no…you really don't think she would…she is going to…no, she can't, Samantha…she can't. No…not Patrick…she is dating that guy…oh shoot…what is his name…Derrick…anyway. Plus she can have anyone guy she wants…so she would not. It would not be a good idea. I would not want that."

Sam sighed at her mistake and mentally cursed herself. She should have known not to say anything. Some wounds are just too deep to be healed even with acts of such kindness Carly showed tonight. "Amber, first of all, your brother is a very handsome man. And second, Carly is not that bad…I am not going to go on and on and now is really not the time for it, but baby she is not that bad of a person."

"Oh…Samantha…I…I did not mean it that way. I did not want_ Carly_ to get hurt! I can't tell you how many phone calls I got the summer we lived in Savannah after…well you know…when we moved…from girls he dated and broke up with. Ok…two that was all, but he has a fear of committing to a girl and I just hope he is not interested in her. She may get her heart broken."

Sam hugged the girl, "You are so sweet to worry. But relax, I don't think now is a time to worry about you brother's love life and I don't think he would even consider meeting a girl for that reason right now either."

"By the way, you look great. I…I…I never forgot how beautiful you are and I love your straight hair. Makes you look more…well…more…I like it, Samantha." Amber whispered.

Sam smiled and told Amber how beautiful she was as well and commented on her change and told her it made it look even prettier than she did when they dated.

After a while Patrick and Carly returned from the cafeteria and each sat down in one of the plush chairs in the family waiting room. No one spoke and Amber laid her head in Sam's lap again and cried quietly as the blonde stroked her thick black hair. Sam noticed Patrick would frown at her and figured she would have to deal with him later. She felt sad when he gave her that look. She had not seen him since they moved, but having someone she really liked and looked up to and admired a great deal mad at her made her sad. After another ten minutes Mr. and Mrs. Isuel returned with the priest and a doctor. Amber got up and met them and Sam followed a little behind. The Isuel's hugged Sam and thanked her for coming.

"So…can I stay with her…please." Amber asked Mrs. Isuel. Ran's mother frowned.

"The doctor said he would allow it but I still do not think it is a good idea. Amber, she needs her rest and I think you being with her would only excite her."

"Please…please let me stay. She…she needs me." Amber begged and turned to the doctor. "Please tell her it is ok. Please."

He smiled at this beautiful small girl and turned to Ran's mother, "Hei, I think it would be a good thing. I can have some blankets and pillows brought up for her. It…well…it cannot hurt anything now and I think it would give Ran some comfort for her…well…until."

Amber looked at the doctor, "What…what does that mean, until? Until what? And what did you mean it could not hurt now? No…no…she is going to get better…you'll see…all of you…she is going to get better…I am going to take care of her. She is going to get better and in July I am…am…going with her to Korea…and I am going to watch every game she wins…and…and I am going to watch and be there when they…when they put that gold metal around her neck…you…she is going to get better; you'll see! All of you will see!" Amber started sobbing again and taking deep shaky breaths. Patrick walked to her.

"Amber, baby, you have to…" Amber started backing away from him.

"No…no…no…I won't listen…she…she is going to get better…and I am going to take care of her. I won't listen!" She put her hands over her ears as she backed up. She bumped into Sam and turned and threw her arms around the blonde's neck.

"You believe me don't you Samantha, you know she is going to get better. Please tell me she is. Please believe me, Samantha." Amber cried. Sam stroked her hair and whispered in the other girl's ear that she did believe her. She looked over Amber's shoulder and gave Patrick a look of apology. He stared at her coldly.

"I'll have some stuff moved to Ran's room. Let her stay, Hei, it would be good…for the both of them." The doctor said. Mrs. Isuel looked at Amber sadly and nodded.

"Ok…she can stay with her."

Amber left Sam's arms and hugged Ran's mother and whispered her thanks. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel mentioned they should be getting home and told Amber they would see her in the morning. Mr. Isuel asked if she needed anything like clothes, toothbrush, etc. Amber said she had them in her suitcase and she did not need anything else. Patrick pulled Sam away and walked her to a corner where they could talk alone. Carly mentioned she should call her brother in a worried tone and Amber walked to her.

"Patrick can give you a ride. I'm sure he can help explain things. And…I'll pay you back for the plane tickets." Amber looked at Patrick walking Sam away, "Patrick…Patrick…Carly needs a ride! Can you give her one?" She called after him. He turned and held up his hand for her to wait a moment. "No…she can't wait…she needs to go now and you need to explain to Spencer why she is here and everything so he won't be mad at her. Hurry up!" She yelled in answer to his gesture. Amber looked at Carly who smiled.

"Nice one…saved her."

Amber smiled back, "Yeah well…I know how to control him. I always felt like a line tamer with him. Everyone else was afraid of him but me. I knew when to crack the whip."

Carly giggled, "Maybe you could teach me that trick…I…I…shit…I meant for men in general…not him…oh damn…I…"

Amber laughed for the first time that night, "Hey…calm down…it's ok…they all react that way to him. _ God_, knows why but they do."

"Amber…my God are you serious? He is…well…hot…I'm sorry, Amber. I know he is your brother…but damn!" Carly blushed and giggled.

They were interrupted when Patrick walked up with Sam behind him. Sam gave Amber a grateful look and Patrick and Carly walked to the elevator with Carly on her cell phone dialing her brother. Sam and Amber sat back down on the couch.

"Thanks, Amber, I…I was not looking forward to that. I guess I'll give them a minute to leave. It's late and you look tired and you need some sleep. Classes start for us again Monday…your spring break is next week, right? Where were you going?"

"Don't worry about Patrick, I'll handle him. And yeah…we were going to Mexico…I was not looking forward to it…you know me and the beaches. I was going to pack a ton of sunscreen. Liz, Jason, and R-R-Ran…sorry…out voted me. We planned this trip months ago. About five…wait…no…that son of a bitch…both of them. Ran knew eight months ago she was sick and she still made plans to go with us. Oh how stupid I was…God I'm an idiot. When we did the airline tickets and hotel rooms, she told me she would book hers and Jason's and meet us there. I…I never thought she…know wonder she wanted to…she never planned on coming." Amber muttered to herself.

"So Liz is…the umm girl you're dating now?" Sam asked nonchalantly after a long pause.

"Yeah…she's sweet and of course pretty with long straight red hair. I…oh damn! Liz! I need to call her. She is catching a plane to Cancun tomorrow…or today…hell I hate the times zones! I need to call. She is going to insist on being here…she is fond of Ran." Amber sat up and looked for her purse and remembered she left it in her dorm room and her cell in her car. "I don't even have my cell."

Sam pulled her out of her front pocket. "I could call her…if you want."

Amber laughed, "Yeah that would go over very well. My ex girlfriend who I constantly talk abo…umm…no I should do it." She took Sam's cell phone and Sam was polite enough to mumble she wanted a coke and walked away. She got to the vending machine in the family waiting room and looked Amber and smiled, _Damn she still is so beautiful…more so._ Sam thought as she placed her hand in the machine to get her drink and never took her eyes off the girl, _two years and I think I still in love with her or could fall in love with her again. Damn, this is going to be hard but she does not need this right now…be a friend and nothing more. I am just glad to be here for her. I owe her for the pain I caused her in the past._

When Sam saw Amber hang up, she walked back over to her and smiled as the girl handed her the phone back, "Well…she may come visit next week. I told her to go to Mexico anyway…we had a bunch of friends going…she may go but feels she needs to be here."

"That's sweet." Sam said not meaning it.

Amber did not pick up on her friends tone, "Yeah…she is…very sweet."

"Do…do you lo…love her?" Sam dared to ask.

Amber smiled at her, "I don't know…I like her…a lot. But love…well…Samantha…I…God, I can't do this now…please. I can't think of who I do and don't love. I like her, yes, but my mind is going nuts…I need to focus on getting Ran better." She asked with tears in her eyes.

Sam smiled, "I'm sorry, Amber, I was not thinking. I was trying to get your mind off…off Ran. Look, here comes the nurse…I should go now anyway. I'll come visit tomorrow." Amber looked over her shoulder and saw the nurse walking to her with her suitcase rolling behind her. She told Amber that the room was made up for a visitor, basically sheets and blankets on the couch in the room, and gave her, her suitcase her brother asked to be brought up. Amber thanked her and was about to follow her to Ran's room and stopped. She turned and ran to Samantha, who was waiting for the elevator and hugged her hard again. She then kissed the blonde on the lips. Not passionate, just a brush on those wonderful lips.

"Thank you for coming, Samantha, it means a lot to me…and…I have only been truly in love once in my life." Amber broke the hug when the elevator 'dinged' and walked to Ran's room without looking back. Sam got on the elevator, touched her lips, and smiled, _Yeah me to Amber…me too._

Over the next five days, Amber stayed with Ran and only left the room one time when Ran asked her if she could talk to Jason alone for a moment.

After Amber left Ran grabbed Jason's hand and held it tight, "I love you Jason…I never told you enough and for that I am sorry very sorry…but I do love you. You…you have been so good to me and not just recently but always. I…I never deserved that."

Jason smiled through his watery eyes, "I know, babe, you never had to tell me. I love you too Ran. And you did deserve it. You are a wonderful caring person."

Ran smiled, "Jason, look after her…she needs it…promise me you will. I…I trust you to."

Jason nodded and kissed her forehead, "I will…I promise."

The two talked longer and shared more tears until Ran asked Jason get Amber again. Amber never knew what was said between the two and she never asked. That was between them, but she suspected Ran wanted to let Jason know how much she cared for the boy.

Amber got very little sleep and would stay up just watching her friend sleep or talk to her while she slept. People that knew Amber were amazed how she took care of the sick Asian. Amber spoon fed her soup (the only thing she would eat the rare times she did eat), washed her body with a cloth, gave her water, fed her ice chips, and put moisturizer on her chapped lips and gently rubbed Ran's vanilla scented lotion on her legs and arms. Besides the doctors, nurses, her parents and Patrick, Amber controlled who saw Ran and how many people the girl was allowed to see in a day. She became very protective of her friend and when friends did come to visit, Amber timed them and when she saw Ran was getting tired she would push them from the room. Ran would smile at her and chuckle when she saw this small petite girl push and shove people from her room. The girl completely charmed the doctors and nursing staff and they would make sure Amber was well provided for with food and some even brought her home cooked meals and treats, although she ate very little. One of Ran's doctors even had his wife bake her some cookies. During those five days Amber would talk to Ran and they would laugh, cry, and make plans what they were going to do when Ran got better or talk about the funny things they did while growing up. They never mentioned sad subjects or Ran dying, another rule of the room Amber initiated. Amber would tell the nurses and doctors of their plans and they would laugh with the girl and tell her that was a good plan, but behind her back they would sigh and mutter or talk to themselves about the poor girl. Through it all Amber showed courage she never thought she had. She would never cry in front of Ran unless the sick girl cried first. When she felt the need to cry she would excuse herself and go to the bathroom to shed her tears, which was often. The few times Amber did doze off, she would always wake and listen for the beeping of the medical machines to make sure Ran was still alive. She had a terrible vision Ran would just fall asleep and never wake up. She took care of Ran those last days like Ran had taken care of her for sixteen years.

Sam came to visit every evening and even brought her school books to study. Amber was amazed how the blonde would actually do her school work. Sam would join in their conversations at times, but mostly kept quiet. She knew this was Amber and Ran's time not hers. Carly came by on occasion to visit, she opted to stay home during spring break. Amber told her she was sorry she made the girl cancel her plans, but Carly laughed and said it was not a big deal; she didn't like the guy that much anyway. Amber did notice whenever Patrick and Carly were there together; Carly would always suggest she walk Patrick to his car after he would end his visit. Amber would sigh and look at Sam who gave her a knowing look. _Poor girl_, Amber would mutter. Sunday evening Sam was there writing a paper for school and Amber was standing by Ran's bed talking quietly. It was a good day for Ran and she was alert and cheerful. Ran looked over at Sam and smiled.

"Hey, Sam, why do you like college so much? I never knew you to like school at all, but when you come here you study all the time and you act like enjoy going to classes." Ran asked.

Sam looked up and grinned. "Hell…it's the only time I get to argue with the teachers and not get into trouble. Back in high school if you disagreed with them they kicked you out of class. In college they actually want you to argue with them and they don't make you sound stupid for the most part." Ran chuckled and Amber giggled. There was some truth behind those words. Sam put her work down and stood up. She mentioned she was going to get a drink and asked if the other two wanted anything. Both girls declined. Ran looked at Amber and read the look in the girl's eyes. She saw it often when Amber would stare at Sam when she thought no one was looking.

"Oh no…" Ran muttered but Amber heard her.

"What…are you ok?" Amber asked concerned and Ran shook her head.

"Ams, please tell me it's not so? Please."

"What? Stop looking at me like that…I…I have no idea what you are talking about." Amber said firmly and picked up the paper cup full of ice chips to feed them to Ran.

Ran just stared at her and Amber got an embarrassed look on her face, "I can't help it, Ran…I have tried but I can't help it." Ran grabbed Amber's hand and squeezed it.

"Well…at least we know she cares for you. She is here every night."

Amber smiled, "Yeah…she is very fond of you."

Ran chuckled, "Oh, Amber, you can be so naïve sometimes. She is not here for me, yeah she may have came and visited me once or maybe twice, but she is here for _you_, silly."

Amber smiled, "She is…she is so different isn't she. I mean…she has changed. Not just her hair and well…she is so much more beautiful but…she…she is…well…grown up I guess you could call it. Much more than me and well…she is way out of my league now."

Ran chuckled, "Hell, Amber, she had always been out of your league. I never knew how you got a girl as hot as Sam Puckett to began with."

"Ohhh…you are so mean…here eat some ice chips!" Amber said and pushed a spoon full of ice chips in Ran's mouth making the Asian girl spit them out due to the coldness of them in her mouth.

"See…be nice, I control you now." Amber grinned.

Ran grabbed Amber's hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it, "I'm going to miss you so much, Ams."

Amber's bottom lip started to quiver, "Stop! You know my rule! No talking like that..." Amber took a deep breath, "One more word like that I am going to poor this ice down your chest." The small brunette smiled weakly.

Ran smiled, _yeah, baby_, _Sam has grown up but so have you…I am not as afraid to leave you as I was before._

Sam came back in the room with a Coke and Sprite and a candy bar. She handed Amber the Sprite and candy bar and muttered she should eat something and sat back down and started her class work again. Both Ran and Amber smiled at the beautiful blonde girl. Amber opened the candy bar wrapper and absently ate it while she watched Sam do her work.

Liz came to visit that Monday to comfort her girlfriend and to see Ran. When Sam first met the girl she hated her. She was jealous of her in everyway. The redhead was tall and beautiful and she hovered over Amber constantly. Sam could tell it annoyed Amber quite a bit. The two had an exchange of angry words when Liz went to get her and Amber a drink, even when Amber said she did not want one, and Sam followed her out of the room. Amber did not seem to notice, but Carly (who happened to be there at the time) noticed and groaned and followed the girls. Carly was pissed at both of them. Amber did not need this right now and she was even angry at Sam for the blonde acting jealous. Carly felt Sam had no right to get mad at Amber's girlfriend.

Liz was bending over and getting her drink from the machine when she heard a voice behind her. "You know, she does not need you to hover over her all the fucking time." Sam said.

Liz turned, "Yeah…well you do not need to tell me what she needs and does not need…you gave that right up a long time ago when you broke her heart."

Sam's eyes glared in anger, "Maybe I did…but you are going about this all wrong, can't you see it is getting on her nerves. She does not need the stress right now…so just chill out and let her handle this her way. She is doing a great job as it is."

Liz smiled coldly and walked closer to Sam, "Let me tell you something, you little bitch, I know what she wants and doesn't want and as far as stressing her out, I think you being here is doing that enough. You should just leave."

Carly walked into the snack room just in time to hear Liz's last words. She saw Sam tense up and realized Liz did not know who she just called a bitch. "Oh, dear." She muttered and ran between them, "Both of you stop it! I mean stop it right now! That poor girl in there does not need this from either of you! If both of you cannot at least act civil to one another then you should_ both_ leave now! I don't care if you to beat the hell out of one another next week, but for now you two will act like fucking best friends for Amber! Do you understand me!" She turned to Liz, "And for your information, Amber wants Sam to be here! She asked Sam to be here…as a friend! So stop acting like a jealous girlfriend and respect her right now! And buy her a Sprite…she liked Sprites and get her a candy bar or something…she needs to eat! She had not eaten since yesterday!"

Liz nodded in shock at this angry brunette and got a Sprite and candy bar and left the snack room.

Sam smiled, "Thanks, Carls, I…I was about to kick her ass…I appreciate you sticking up…"

Carly turned to Sam and Sam saw the anger still in her eyes, "And you! If…if…if you cannot control you jealousy you can just leave! Amber needs you as a friend and not a jealous ex lover! If you still love her then fine but now is not the time! You have no right to act like you are acting! Liz is right, you gave that right up a long time ago…and yes I know I am to blame a hell of a lot to…but deal with it later not now! Do you understand me! Be her friend, Sam, be her friend!"

Sam took a step back and smiled, "Sure, Carls."

"Fine! Now I have to go soon and we are going to march back in that room and I had better see you and Liz play nice before I leave or I swear neither of you will be allowed to come back…understand?"

Sam smiled, "Yeah…I understand." The two started to walk back to the room when Sam felt Carly's arms around her from behind. Sam turned and her friend hugged her tight and started to cry.

"Hey…its ok I promised I would behave." Sam said as she hugged her friend and patted her back. Carly pulled her head back but still hugged the blonde.

"No…it's not that…its…God help me, Sam…but…I keep thanking God it is not you in that room dying. Oh God, Sam…I know it is terrible and I am a terrible person for thinking that…I…I don't know how I could handle it. And seeing Amber…she is acting brave I know…but the first night before you got here…it…it was terrible. I…I love you Sam…and I…" Carly cried.

"I know, baby, I know. And if thinking that makes you a terrible person than so am I. I thought the same thing." Sam hugged Carly tighter and the two girls wiped their eyes and walked back to the room.

When they got back to Ran's room Liz and Sam played nice from now on. Amber smiled at Carly and mouthed the words "Thank you" and Carly blushed. She did not know the girl knew what was going on.

Amber thought when Ran died (deep down she knew her friend would not get better) she would just go to a peaceful sleep and not wake up, but the world is a cruel place. On the night after her fifth day staying with her friend, Amber drifted into one of her few times sleeping. She woke to the sounds of the machines beeping loudly and erratically. She sat up on the couch in time for the nurses and doctors to push her from the room. She took one look at her friend and saw the intense agony and struggle in her face and heard one nurse shout for a crash cart. Amber was rushed in the hallway and leaned against the wall. She started sobbing and bent over and grabbed her stomach as if it would stop the pain in her heart. She knew Ran was leaving her. As she cried out a _No_ loudly when she heard one of the doctors in the room tell another one to "Call it". Amber knew what that meant. She slid down the wall and fell to her butt and started sobbing uncontrollably with her hands gripping her knees that she pulled up to her chin while she rocked back and forth on the floor. After about ten minutes a nurse came out and led her to the waiting room and sat her down. The nurse was crying and explained the doctor was calling Ran's parents and that Ran had passed away. Amber sobbed ever harder at those words and the nurse held her tight and cried with the girl she came to like over the last five days.

Ran's memorial service was a small affair for family and close friends only and followed by a gravesite service on a beautiful sunny day. Sam was there and surprisingly so was Carly. Amber was brave and Patrick was surprised and proud of his little sister at the courage she showed during the ceremony and the grave site service. He realized his little sister was more like their mom than just in looks. She shed tears as expected, but she did not lose control of herself and stood at the grave site holding Ran's mother's hand. The grip was so tight it hurt Amber's hand but she did not say a word. Her other hand was being held by Sam, per Amber's wish. Liz stood behind her girlfriend and glared at Sam through out the ceremony. Jason took it very hard and sobbed and cried like a child, but no one thought less of him. Amber knew he loved Ran, but did not know the extinct of that love until that day. After the gravesite ceremony, the priest asked Amber to walk with him a moment. The girl looked at Mrs. Isuel and she nodded and Amber took the priests outstretched hand and walked with him a little away from the others and stopped. He turned to the girl and smiled sadly. It was the same priests she cursed in the hospital.

"I would ask how you are, but that would be a stupid question, would it not? You showed courage and Hu-Ran would have been proud. Did you know I knew Ran ever since she was a baby? I christened her when she was two months old."

Amber shook her head and smiled at him with tears in her eyes, "I…I…I almost lost it when they put her in the ground. I…she deserves better than to be put in the cold, cold ground. She doesn't deserve that; she deserves better than to be in the ground."

"She is not in the ground, child, her true self and soul is in heaven. What is in the ground is not Ran."

Amber nodded and was glad to hear that, "Is…is she at peace? Is she in heaven? She said she…she did something terrible and that is why she needed to talk to you. I…she never told me what it was. I don't believe she could have done anything terrible. She is...was a good person…a very good person. What…what did she do that was so bad?"

The priest smiled, "I cannot tell you what she did, Amber. I am sorry, but that is a sacred thing between her and God. I am not allowed to tell you what is said in confession…for one of the few times I wish I could, but I can't. I will tell you this…she was forgiven by God and yes…yes she is in heaven." He reached inside his robes and pulled out a white envelope from his breast pocket and handed it to the girl.

"The day before she left us, Ran gave this to me when I came to visit her with instructions for me to hand it to you on this day. I did not read it; that is for you. She told me you were a great comfort to her in her last days with us, child…a great comfort. Would you mind if I blessed you, Amber. I know you are not catholic…no one is perfect," He smiled at her and she actually chuckled a little, "but it could not hurt."

Amber clutched the envelope tight and nodded her head and the priest placed a hand on her forehead, said a few words in Latin, and made the sign of the cross over her head. When done he smiled at Amber and she hugged him tight and the priest placed his arms around the girl and patted her back.

Later that day, the family and friends gathered at Mr. and Mrs. Isuel's home. Amber was a perfect hostess and made sure everyone had what they needed and made sure there was plenty of food out and drinks available. She ran around the house making sure it was perfect. She took care of the things that were required so Ran's parents could grieve with their friends and family. Later that evening most people left and the only ones at the house were the Isuel's, Patrick, Sam, Liz, Jason, and Amber. They all gathered in the family room and Amber was sitting in a plush chair and next to her was Liz holding her hand. Amber was getting annoyed at her girlfriend trying to get her to eat or asking constantly if she needed anything. Sam, who understood Amber much better, would just smile at her ex girlfriend on occasion and roll her eyes at Liz. Amber could not help but smile back or giggle at the blonde. Patrick sat next to Mr. Isuel on the couch comforting the man. Soon the conversation turned to Ran and they all started talking about her and funny things she did when younger and growing up. Amber did not want to join in and would only smile sadly when someone would ask her if she remembered when Ran did this or that or when the two girls did that or this. After a while she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. At that Sam mentioned she should go home now but would stop by later to see her and Liz excused herself and left to her hotel. Mrs. Isuel wanted to offer one of the guest rooms to Liz and asked Amber if it was ok, but Amber did not want her to sleep there. For some reason Amber felt she had no right to stay in the house she knew with Ran. Amber walked the redhead to her rental car and kissed her and said she would see her tomorrow. When Amber got back in the house she said she was going to bed, she still had not slept much over the few days since Ran died. When she did she just caught the occasional nap on the couch. Mrs. Isuel smiled at her.

"I made the guest room up for you, dear." She said. Amber gave her a shocked look and before she could ask Mrs. Isuel smiled wider, "Of course you can. I would not expect anything else…old habits are hard to break." Amber smiled and went to Ran's room to sleep.

Amber entered the room for the first time since Ran died. She could not bring herself to go in there until now. She walked through the room and touched almost every nick knack or poster the girl had. Amber placed the unopened envelope on the bed and took off her clothes and pulled one of Ran's tee shirts from the drawer and sniffed it. She was disappointed it was clean and did not smell of her friend. Amber put the tee shirt on and got into the bed and smiled like a child as she caught the scent of Ran on the pillow and sheets. It smelled of her friend's vanilla scented shampoo and lotion. A scent that was so familiar and Amber always loved to smell when she spent the night with the girl and would curl up close to her as they slept. She grabbed the envelope and opened it. She pulled out the letter and a silver ring with Korean writing on it. Amber remembered the ring; it was the only piece of jewelry Ran wore all the time. The Asian never did like to wear rings or necklaces and would only occasionally wear ear rings. Amber learned a long time ago not to buy Ran jewelry as a gift. She brought the girl a beautiful diamond pendant necklace for her sixteenth birthday and Ran wore it for a couple of months for her friend's sake, but then put it in her jewelry box. Amber placed the ring on her index finger, her other fingers being to small for the ring, and unfolded the letter. She let out a big sigh and read it. While reading the letter she giggled at some parts and shed tears at others. She read it ten times and finally placed it back in the envelope, looked at the ring, smiled sadly, and lay down in the bed. She curled up holding the pillow close to her nose and started to sob uncontrollably and shed all the tears that she had been holding back over the last few days. She would whisper her friends name over and over again and telling her she loved her. Amber eventually fell asleep and sleep for almost eighteen hours.

Amber woke to someone softly shaking her. "Amber…Ams, get up, baby…you need to eat and my plane leaves back to school later this evening. Come on, Ams…you need to eat."

Amber shot up in the bed and looked around, not seeing who was shaking her yet. "Oh, Ran…I…I had the worse dream…I…oh, Ran." She cried and then saw Liz's beautiful face. Liz smiled sadly and went to hug her girlfriend but Amber pushed her way.

"It…it…it wasn't a dream…" Amber said aloud.

"No, honey… it was not a dream. Ams, baby you need to eat." Liz said softly.

"What did you call me? You do not get to call me that! Only R…Ran called me that! You…you have no right!" Amber yelled at Liz, who took a step back. Ran was the only one who ever called Amber by Ams and Amber was not going to let anyone else start. To her it was one of those special things for her and Ran only.

"Sorry…well you should get up…I have to leave today…and…I'll see you downstairs." Liz said and turned.

"Liz, I'm sorry…I…I just…I'm sorry." Amber apologized and started to get out of bed.

"It's ok, baby, I understand. I did not think." She smiled and started to leave the room when she felt Amber grab her arm and pull her close. Amber hugged the red head for a moment and then stood on her tip toes and kissed the girl on her lips. They kissed for several seconds and Amber pulled away.

"Liz…I'm sorry. You have been so good to me and…thank you. I did not mean to act like a bitch…it's just…just…" Liz placed her fingers on Amber's mouth.

"Shhh…its ok, baby, I understand. Now lets get you something to eat…you really need to you know?"

After breakfast, where Amber ate very little, Amber walked Liz to the limousine waiting for her, Mr. Isuel called a service for her, and kissed her and told the red head she would see her in a couple of weeks.

Amber stayed with the Isuel's for two more weeks and spent a lot of time with them. All three were glad to have one another to help them cope. Sam would visit almost every night and Amber enjoyed the blonde's company. Patrick of course was over every night as well. After two weeks she decided it was time to go back to school. She had called her advisor and explained to him weeks ago and he worked it out that she could make up some of the work but she would have to attend summer classes for a couple of courses. Amber did not mind and thanked him. Patrick told her he would drive her to the airport but she secretly hoped Sam would and her brother picked up on the hints and said goodbye to his sister. Sam picked her up to take her to the airport and complained in a good humored fashion about how heavy her two bags were. Mrs. Isuel had taken Amber shopping for a dress for her to wear to the funeral since the girl came with just one extra change of clothes and ended up buying her a number of outfits and undergarments. Amber wanted to protest it was too much, but she knew Mrs. Isuel needed the trip as much as she did. Sam walked her to the gate after they checked the bags and waited with her. They did not have to wait long before Amber had to go catch her flight at the terminal. She hugged Sam.

"Samantha…I…I don't know what to say. Thank you of course…but…I feel I need to say more...much more." Amber whispered in her ear.

"Oh…Amber, you don't need to say anything…and thank you for letting me be there for you. I…I…still care a great deal for you. I never stopped." Sam whispered back.

Amber pushed the blonde away a little and smiled wanting to say something, but Sam spoke first. "Amber, promise me we will stay in touch…I mean it. Phone calls, visits, everything. Promise me."

"Of course we will." She broke the hug, "Well…Samantha…I better go. I will call…I promise." She gave Sam a quick kiss on the cheek, turned, and walked away. Sam felt a hole open in her heart and felt she was given an empty promise as she saw Amber walk around a corner without looking back. _Oh well…it was good to see her again…real good and glad I could be there fore her,_ she thought and turned to walk back to her car feeling sad. Sam walked through the baggage claim department with her hand in her pockets when she heard someone shouting behind her.

"Samantha! Samantha! Samaaaaantha Puckett…for God's sake would _you_ freaking STOP!" Sam turned around and saw Amber running to her. Sam quickly prayed the girl, not known for her grace when doing anything as simple as running, would not slip. She didn't and threw herself once again in Sam's arms and kissed her lips passionately. They kissed for a long time with a fierce passion. After a while, Amber broke the kiss and pulled back.

"I think we have some things to work out, but I am going to tell you, Samantha Puckett, I do not want you out of my life and I never, never stopped loving you! We need to do some serious talking and have some issues we need to discuss and I need time to get over….well I need time and…and…and don't just stand there! Say something, damn it!"

Sam smiled, "I never stopped loving you either and I don't want you out of my life. If things go like I hope then great, but if it ends up we are just friends, then I will be happy to have that. Now go get one your plane or your brother will kill me. We just got things decent again between us. I could not stand to think he hates me again…hell he scared me when mad. I never had him mad at me before and he can give you a cold dead stare."

Amber smiled and twisted her fingers around the gold necklace Sam wore, "Awww…poor Samantha, finally scared of someone. You can thank Carly for him making up with you…I think he likes her…God help us!" She giggled and kissed Sam once quickly more and went to catch flight with a smile on her lips.

Three weeks passed since Amber got back to school and it had been almost six weeks since Ran died. Not a day or even an hour went by without the petite girl thinking of her friend. Amber started hanging out with Carly more and more and the two soon realized how much they had in common and while never spoken between them, they both knew that if pride and jealousy would not have gotten in their way they could have been good friends back in high school. They met for dinners, movies, coffee, shopping, and Amber dragged Carly to her first rave. Amber did not have a good time since she was still grieving the loss of her friend, but she did admit it was fun to see Carly having a blast. Amber was glad to have Carly as a friend when she cried for the loss of Ran. The taller brunette would comfort her. There were still times when alone in her dorm at night she would pull out the pillow she "stole" from Ran's room and lay in bed and smell it to smell the scent of her friend and cry herself to sleep. Amber was afraid to let it go since she was afraid she would forget her friend. Carly reassured her she would never forget Ran and talk to her and Amber always felt better when she talked to Carly. Carly started dating her brother for about a week after she got back to school and Amber did not approve at first, but when she saw the two when Patrick took her and Carly to dinner she relented. They seemed perfect together and the only thing Amber told Carly was not to tell Patrick anything about what she does at college. Carly laughed and assured the girl that while she liked Patrick a lot…her and Amber were girls and friends and some things are better left a secret. It was a secret Carly found easy to keep since Amber did very little that Patrick would disapprove of.

Carly discovered after her first official date with Patrick what love was. She fell in love head over heels and had an urges she never truly had before. She wanted to jump his body when he kissed her after that first date. She also mentally cursed him for being such a gentleman and not trying anything but a deep passionate kiss. She would have allowed him to do anything to her that night. After their third date she hinted very strongly she wanted to go back to his hotel room for the night and she was glad to see that while a gentleman he was not stupid…or weak. He was gentle at first when she admitted she was a virgin, but he knew when to be gentle and when to be more forceful. Carly never knew that blissful orgasms ever existed until that night. After her seventh one and sixth time having sex she had to beg him no more but promised him other nights of pleasure. She was madly in love for the first time in her life and surprised herself that she very willingly did things she never thought she would do. The self proclaimed Ice Queen discovered what passion was. Carly did things with Patrick she heard other girls talking about and thought were disgusting, but she did them most willingly and without being asked or pressured. The next morning she even felt a little embarrassed that she actually begged him to do those things to her or her to him. Before they fell asleep, she kissed his scars and tattoo very lovingly. Carly Shay finally understood the pain Sam and Amber and other people went through when they felt heart broken because she finally understood what it was like feel like she could not live if the person she loved did not love her back. Carly Shay was in love for the first time in her life.

Carly was surprised when she got a thank you card in the mail one day from Mr. and Mrs. Isuel. Enclosed in the card was a check for the airline tickets and quite a bit of additional money for "expenses". Carly called them to thank them but also to decline the extra money and the reimbursement of her ticket. They were insistent she accept it and after a while of talking to them she found out they were not going to refuse. Carly paid her credit card bill and used some of the money to take Amber shopping, on a spa day, and out to dinner at an expensive restaurant. The two girls dressed up in their new very fashionable dresses and had a grand time. Both of the beautiful girls were ogled all night by a variety of men…and some woman. Later that night, the girls were walking in a well lit park and Amber suddenly sat down on a bench and started crying. Carly, used to the outburst sat next to her and put her arm around her. Amber pulled away and looked over at the girl.

"C…Carly…I can't smell her on the pillow anymore. I…she is not there anymore…I…don't want to forget her." Amber cried and twisted a silver ring on her index finger. A ring she never took off.

Carly had no idea what she meant by smelling the pillow, but it did not matter, "Shhh…you won't, Amber. There is no way you could ever forget her. I know that. She will always be there for you."

Amber wiped her eyes and stared at her new friend, "Carly, I am…am glad we are friends. You are a good friend, but I…I think sometimes…I don't want you to replace Ran. I know that is mean but I…you can't replace her. Carly...sometimes I feel like I am only your friend because…I was trying to replace Ran. I can't do that and you can't be that replacement. No one can replace her and…and I don't want you to."

Carly smiled, "Amber dear, I would never even try and I would never want to. Ran was…is…to you what Sam is to me. No one could replace Sam in my life. I know how you feel…I would not do that."

Amber smiled and hugged Carly. "She loves you, Amber." Amber knew who Carly was talking about. She stood and pulled Carly up and they started walking back to Carly's car.

They walked holding hands and Amber leaned in close, "She does? I love her too…but we need things to work out. Remember when you told me obsession is not love…you were right. I was obsessed with her…to a point it drove me crazy. But I know the difference now and I know I love her. I…we…just need to give it time. I am not ready for that yet."

Carly stopped and looked at Amber, "My, Amber St. Claire, you have grown up…I am glad to see that."

"Shut up!" Amber laughed and they continued their walk to the car.

Amber kept in touch with Sam as promised and they talked almost every day and Sam wanted to visit, but Amber was not ready. She was still morning and Sam understood. She did break up with Liz and the redhead took it very well and even told Amber she expected it when she came back to school. After being back for four weeks Amber invited Sam down for the coming weekend. It was the Saturday morning of the day Sam was to arrive and Amber looked at her clock and saw it was only nine in the morning. She had been up since seven because she could not sleep. She was excited about the visit. Of course Amber told Sam they were going to seriously talk about what they both wanted and the type of relationship they both wanted. Whether if it was going to be romantic or strictly friends. Amber made it very clear she was not going to be a booty call for Sam when she came to visit Carly. Carly assured her new friend that while Sam was her best friend in the world; she would not let Sam take advantage like that. Sam would just laugh and call Amber silly and make some sarcastic comment about how terrible it was now that Carly and Amber were friends and how much easier life was when the two girls hated one another.

Amber groaned out how slow time was going by and lay on the bed and pulled her lap top out and checked the arrival time of Sam's plane again. "Damn…one twelve! ARGH!!!! I can't stand it!" She yelled out loud and rolled over on her bed. She was dressed in a long tee shirt that came down about three inches above her knees and on the front was the UCLA logo and under it was the word volleyball. On the back of the shirt was the number 7. The tee shirt was Ran's UCLA practice jersey that Amber slept in every night. Underneath the shirt she wore a pair of plain white cotton panties. She had plenty of time to get dressed.

Amber decided to do some homework after she brushed her teeth. She just got finished eating some potato chips and her teeth felt nasty. While she was in the small bathroom of her dorm room she heard a knock on her door. _Damn…I wish Kathy would do her own Lit homework for a change,_ she thought and then yelled he door was open.

"On the desk, Kathy…but I swear it won't do you any good this time. I think Professor Dodd is smart enough to know you can't have the same feelings on Hemmingway I do." Amber shouted with a mouth full of toothpaste. She heard Kathy grunt in response and rinsed her mouth out. Amber heard the door being closed and shrugged, _hmm guess she is in a pissy mood today; _Amber thought and walked back into her room wiping her mouth on a towel. She looked on the bed and let out a frightful scream and threw her towel at the person sitting on her bed grinning ear to ear.

"Damn it, Samantha, you fucking scared me!" Amber yelled. The blonde tossed the towel on the floor and laughed.

"Wow…college sure taught you a lot. You used to never curse like that." Sam teased.

"See…you scared me so bad and made me say words I don't like. What are you doing here? Your plane was not supposed to be in until this afternoon. I had a sexy new outfit to wear to pick you up in." Amber pouted. "I look terrible."

Sam looked at her and smiled, "Amber, you look so beautiful right now. I always thought you looked your best like that." Amber saw Sam was wearing a red tee shirt and tan and brown plaid cargo shorts and had her hair in a pony tail. Amber thought she was so beautiful as well. "If you want…wear it tonight. I got an early flight so we could talk like you wanted. Plus…well…I was anxious to see you."

Amber smiled and reached under her shirt and pulled her panties down. She twirled them around her fingers for a sexy gesture but they just got tangled in her hand. She frowned and then pulled her tee shirt off. Amber grinned at Sam, "So do you think I am still beautiful?"

Sam took a sharp intake of breath and opened her mouth as she admired Amber's naked body. "God, Amber…you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

Amber giggled and walked to the bed and straddled Sam and kissed her passionately on the lips. Their tongues soon found the inside of one another's mouths and Sam grabbed Amber's butt and pulled her harder into her. Amber let out a gasp of pleasure and started kissing her Sam's neck and undid the other girl's ponytail to let her hair fall loose. Sam moaned and had a hard time finding the strength to gently push Amber away. Amber let out a moan of disappointment but still straddled the blonde.

"I…wow…I thought…damn that was great…I thought we were going to talk." Sam gasped out.

Amber smiled, "Umm…talk later…kiss now." She tried to kiss Sam again, but the blonde held her away.

"Amber…I told you…you were not going to be a my booty call…remember?"

Amber smiled and pushed Sam's arms down, "Silly, Samantha, I'm not your booty call…right now you are mine." She started kissing Sam's neck again and got another moan of pleasure from the blonde.

"Now…take…off…your…clothes…and…get…in…bed…and…fuck…me." Amber said between kisses. Sam laughed.

"Wow…ohhh damn that's good…when did…ohhh shit, Amber, that feels good…when did you get so forceful. And if you keep saying that word like a bad girl I may have to spank you." Sam said between gasps.

Amber stopped kissing the girl's neck and leaned back. "Oh don't get used to it. I plan on letting you do anything your devious perverted mind can think of to me…anything." Amber leaned back in and started kissing Sam's ears and between kisses would whisper, "fuck, fuck, fuck." Amber suddenly let out a gasp of surprise as Sam tossed her on the bed and stood up and started taking her clothes off telling Amber she would definitely get a spanking now. Amber giggled in delight and looked up at Sam, "Just promise one thing."

Sam, who was down to just her panties nodded. "Just promise me you will stop using my body for your wicked pleasure in time for me to shower and get dressed before we go tonight. I haven't forgotten how insatiable you are. Now…please get your sexy butt in bed and ravage me…over and over again!"

Sam pulled down her panties and crawled into bed and Amber snaked herself around her. "God I love you, Samantha." She said and then let Samantha take her. Samantha kept one promise, she spanked a willing Amber for cursing but she did not keep the other one. Amber got out of bed playfully yelling at Sam for not giving her enough time to get "properly" dressed for dinner.

**A/N – yeah I know…it was a very hard chapter for me to write. I had planned on Ran dying and had so many options, but I like this one the best since it was a good way to bring everyone together and to show Amber had grown and had finally gotten strength to take care of herself and others. It was very heart wrenching for me and did include some tears on my part. I was a huge fan of Ran and her character. **


	29. Chapter 29

Epilogue – Eight years later

Amber St. Claire pushed her lap top away with a sigh, "Finally…I cannot believe that article was so hard to write; at least they'll be happy about it. One of my best if I do say so myself, I just hope they get the photo spread right this time." She said aloud. Amber just finished the article for Vogue Magazine that covered a New York Fashion show featuring the latest hot shot designer. Amber was picked personally by the designer for an exclusive interview. The young girl told her she picked Amber because she loved her past articles for the magazine. The twenty six year old was very flattered and impressed with the twenty one year old fashion genius. Amber even came out of the interview with two one of a kind dresses.

The young lady stood up as the phone rang; she had changed over the past eight years as expected. She no longer wore the Goth look she liked when in high school and changed the look after her first year in college. She was still very fashion conscience, of course in her job she had to be, and still dressed in the latest fashions. Her hair was black hair was shorter and she wore it in the newest style about two inches past her shoulders. Those who knew the girl in high school would have seen a very pretty young girl that grew into a truly breathtaking and lovely young lady. Unknown to her, some of the top super models were envious of her natural beauty, grace, and charm. The few nice ones told her if she was taller she could be on the run way with them while the others would just snarl at her and in their jealousy of her natural beauty and make fun of her stature, of course out of her hearing range since Amber had the power in her writing to make or break a model new to the scene, not that she would ever use her power that way. Hell, some even tried their hardest to seduce the fashion writer over the years. But Amber still kept her caring and kind personality over the years. She used her power of one of the worlds top fashion writers only to get the latest fashions for free and not to ruin a career, although sometimes she wrote the truth and it ended a new designer's dreams. She felt getting free designer clothes was the least of her perks she could use to her benefit. Even through older and more mature, Amber still always looked her best when she left the house, some habits were hard to break. But this late morning she was still wearing her pink pajama bottoms and a long light blue tee shirt with UCLA across the front, the word volleyball below the college logo, and the number 7 on the back. She was not planning on going out until later this evening. The pajama bottoms were faded and frayed around the hem and holes had been patched or sewn closed. They were old but she could not part with them or the shirt due to the meaning they both held for her.

Amber answered the phone after the third ring and smiled when she saw the caller ID, "Hey, baby, how goes your day?...uh huh….I just finished it…uh huh…Well you are _not_ working late tonight and that is final." She stomped her small bare foot. "No…Patrick and his _wonderful wife_ will be here tonight…as a matter of fact their plane arrives at four forty five….No they are taking a cab…No that was not _sarcasm_…I do like my sister in law, I really do, I was just teasing. You know I love her a great deal and just adore my wonderful nephew." Amber said with a giggle, "Speaking of which we still have to get him another present for Christmas...I don't care if we already got him some I want to get him another one. Uh huh…I am not spoiling him…am not…am not and what if I was? I am the _cool_ aunt remember? One more and that is it…yeah I promise. I was thinking of that one we saw at…yeah that one… I like that too…his mom will _hate it _since it makes all that noise." The young lady again gave a mischievous giggle. "Our party is tomorrow night and I think everyone is coming. Let's see…Jason is coming and Freddie's plane gets in tomorrow morning…umm…Mr. and Mrs. Isuel will be there. Oh…your mom called and she is going to make it…cool huh? Yeah I knew you would like that one. She sounded better…. Yeah he was a good guy and I was sorry to hear he died. Let's see…people from our work…yes I know just a few…gesh, I plan this every year, I think I know who to invite and by the way I am_ not_ inviting any models for you to ogle and drool over all night long…awww that's sweet…a lie but sweet." Amber rolled her eyes, "Umm…no of course I did not role my eyes…uh huh…ok…umm just going to finish the tree…I did but I have my special ones to put on and the angel and I am done…yes I am putting that one on and it is not tacky!...No I can do the angel myself…yes I can…I can do it myself. Can too…can too…I am!" Amber stamped her foot again. "Ok…ok…I will not do it myself, I'll wait until you get home…God I am not going to fall off the ladder…I am not a klutz…am not…I am not…ok, ok…I'll wait. Love you too, sweetie and remember no working late, our reservations for dinner are at seven thirty…no you will _not_ meet us there, we are going as a family and together and you are coming home to change first. Yes you are; I picked out your clothes already…you are…yes…are too, I have better fashion sense than you that's why." The young woman rolled her eyes again, "Yes, baby I got some snacks for Sean…of course I know what a three year old likes to snack on…no I did not get any weird health food for him like last time...uh huh…Arrrghh…that was _not_ what made him sick…yes I did get him some normal cookies. Hey, don't you have to get back to work, for an important person there you sure have a lot of free time to harass your wonderful, charming, lovely wife…uh huh…I love you to…have a great day…bye baby…and no working late, be home at six! No not six thirty…six…if you get home at six I promise you a night to remember when we get home after dinner…yup…ummm…that sounds like fun…deal…maybe you should sneak home for lunch and we can practice it. Ohhh…you are such a tease…ok bye and love you." Amber beamed a smile when she hung up the phone. She loved being married.

The young woman made her way to the family room of their three bedroom apartment located in Upper Manhattan. They paid a great deal for it, but hell they both made very high income and could afford it. Amber loved the apartment, it was stylish, had hard wood floors, a loft area, a nice kitchen, large closets for her clothes and shoes…she needed that…and very spacious to entertain in. As she walked to the family room to finish decorating the Christmas tree, she paused by a full length mirror and looked at her profile. Amber smiled when she looked at her stomach, it was getting bigger and she liked that. Amber loved being pregnant…for the most part. It not only gave her skin a healthy glow and made her breasts larger; she just loved it in general. She was six months pregnant with their first child and Amber adored the thought of being a mother. She giggled happily and danced her way into the family room doing perfect pirouette when she twirled. She was a very happy young lady. She was married and had a spouse she adored and who adored her back, a child on the way, a wonderful dream job, and a wonderful family which not only included her brother and sister in law and nephew, but people while not related by blood were just as close. True there were people missing she wished were still alive, but she was happy. She pulled a plastic container from under the coffee table and placed it on top of the hand carved wood. This was her ritual every year, one she did alone. She started it when she was fourteen when given the first one as a gift. Of course then it was not her own tree like now. The number of the ornaments grew as the years went by. The ritual started with just one and now there were six of them.

Amber sat down and opened the plastic container that held her "special" ornaments. She placed these on the tree last every year, some people thought were tacky or did not go with the theme of her other decorations, but to her they were the most important ones and held so much meaning to her. Each ornament represented her family, best friends or special people in her past and present. The young woman pulled out the first one from the container. She smiled at the ornament; it was a mixture of a happy smile and a sad smile. The Christmas tree ornament was very basic and the oldest Amber had; it was a very simple ornament Ran made for her when they were fourteen and well…it looked like it was made by a fourteen year old girl with no talent for arts and crafts. It was shaped like a gingerbread man and in the center was a picture of Amber's parents and her and her brother. It was a family Christmas photo taken the Christmas before her parents died. Amber looked at her mother and thought how beautiful the woman was. She had been told over and over she looked just like her mother, but she felt there was not a chance. Her mother was an absolute beautiful lady. _Hell no wonder I had so many friends who were boys growing up, they just wanted to come and see my mom, _she thought with a grin_._ She then looked at her dad and smiled at how so much her brother looked her father. She placed the ornament on the tree and pulled out the next one.

She had no particular order to put them on the tree except the first one and then the last two. That was part of her ritual. She smiled at the next one. It was a Los Angeles Dodger ornament that looked like a baseball. It represented Freddie Benson.

Freddie went to Texas A.M on a baseball scholarship and then was drafted by the Dodgers. He played two years in the major league until he hurt his knee. He was now an assistant coach for the Longhorns baseball team and married to a wonderful young lady. Amber placed it on the tree and pulled the next one from her container. It was a football shaped one with Jason's name on it.

Jason went to UCLA on a football scholarship and was drafted in the NFL as the third pick of the draft by the Oakland Raiders. He played three seasons as their backup quarterback and one as their starting QB, but gave it up when his dad died of a heart attack, stating football was his dad's dream not his. Jason was now a successful sports caster for ESPN specializing in college football. He lives in New York and Amber saw him often. Jason never did get married…yet…as much as Amber tried to marry him off…but had dated some of the models Amber introduced him too. He still carried a love for someone he could never have and Amber thought that very sad. She placed that one on the tree.

She pulled out the next one. It was the largest and somewhat tacky but so special to her. It did not start out tacky, but twice she had to take it to a special jeweler to have it added to. The original ornament was the symbol of the U.S. Marine Corps and in the middle where the world globe is an old picture of her brother, Patrick, in his marine uniform and standing next to him was Jason's bother Christopher also in his uniform. The photo was of them in Iraq. Two weeks after it was taken Christopher was killed. What Amber had to get added to the ornament was a gold stem branching off to include another picture. It was of Patrick and his wife on their wedding day and then branching from that was a picture of Patrick, his wife, and their son Sean, named after Amber and Patrick's father. Amber looked at the photos and smiled. Patrick's wife, Carly Shay…well Carly St. Claire now was still so beautiful and charming as she had been in high school and college. Amber looked at the photo of them when Sean was born. It was taken two hours after Carly gave birth, _God…I hate her…I hope I look that beautiful after I give birth,_ she thought with a giggle. She really did not hate Carly anymore. She truly loved her sister in law and the two became close friends in their second year of college and closer when she and Patrick got married. It shocked Amber when Carly and Patrick started dating, but when Amber saw them together for the first time she knew the two were so in love and knew Carly was the girl Patrick was going to marry. Patrick finally gave up his plans to rejoin the marines and took Mr. Isuel up on his offer, went to college while working, got his masters in business, and was appointed vice president of the stores west coast operations. Under Patrick's control the stores grew to a national chain and were extremely successful and Patrick was named by Mr. Isuel to be the heir apparent of the stores. Carly was a successful author of a young teen fiction series. Her books were very popular and were based on characters who are not the most popular kids and deals with issues such as sexual confusion, dating, romance, the want to be in the cool crowd, and teen bullying. Amber read the books and really enjoyed them. Amber would sometimes tease her older brother about giving up the excitement and rush he craved when he was in he marines and in combat and his desire for danger and adventure. He would tell her being married to Carly and having a son was the most excitement and biggest rush he ever had in his life. He would then wink at her and tell his sister that being married to Carly was the most dangerous thing her ever did in his life. That of course would get him a slap in the back of his head by his lovely wife.

Amber smiled as she pulled out the next one. It was a simple and very expensive Swarovski Crystal heart about the size of a small apple. Inside the crystal was a picture. The picture was of a beautiful girl with long curly blonde hair dressed in a red and black plaid dress standing in front of a statute and a plaque that read The University of Washington. The girl was Samantha Puckett and the photo was the one given to Amber in a letter the girl wrote her to let her know she got into college. Amber loved the photo and the girl meant so much to her. Samantha was her first true love and the beautiful blonde always held a special secret place in Amber's heart no one else could ever have access to.

Samantha graduated UW with a degree in business marketing and even stayed and worked on her Masters Degree while working for a small marketing firm in Seattle, and for some strange reason the girl loved college. Not just the college experience of meeting new people and partying, but she loved the classes and the learning. Sam's big break came when she was pitching an idea to Zoo York, a well known company that manufactures skateboards and fashion apparel. The CEO of the company was so impressed with Sam he offered her a job two weeks later and the girl had been working for the company for the last three years. It was a dream job for Sam and she worked hard and worked her way up the company ladder until she became head of their East Coast division. She was perfect for the job, she knew skateboarding and the fashion the skater kids enjoyed and she could relate to their needs and wants. During her first year the profits for her division soared through the roof. It also helped that she approached her position at the company like she did things when she was in high school. She did not take shit from anyone and when she wanted something done it got done.

There was one more ornament and then the angel left in the container. This was always the last one and the hardest for her to put on the tree. The pain was still to new to her even after eight years. Amber pulled out a small silver box and opened it. Inside was the ornament, a newspaper clipping, and folded paper. She set the clipping, and paper aside, and lovingly caressed the ornament with her fingers. She then held it to her heart with tears in her eyes, "I love you, Ran. I miss you so much. I…no one…could have asked for a better best friend than you." She said and hung the ornament on the front of the tree. The ornament was a simple fourteen karat gold Korean character for the name "Hu-Ran". Amber wiped her eyes and sighed to control her emotions and then picked up the news paper clipping to read it as she did for the past six years when she first hung that ornament on her tree. She knew what it said by heart, but read it anyway. Another part of her ritual.

_**Hu- Ran Isuel, Future Olympic Star, Succumbs to Leukemia at 21 **_

_Hu-Ran Isuel, known to her friends as Ran, passed away early this morning after a short battle with Acute Leukemia. Diagnosed only eight months before she died, the disease claimed her life quickly._

_Described by her friends and family as very lovely young girl with a wonderful sense of humor, Ran, a college sophomore at UCLA, was co-captain of the school's girl volleyball team(the first sophomore captain on the team) and had earned a spot on the U.S.A Olympic Girl's Volleyball Team for the Summer Olympics being held in Seoul Korea. Ran, being a American born Korean, was reported to be very excited about playing for the U.S in her family's country of origin and planned to visit her family, which she never met, in Korea while there. The 21 year old girl is survived by her Parents Byung and Hei. Her father is the owner of a well known sporting good store chain. The funeral is going to be a small memorial for family and close friends only. Please do not send flowers but the family is accepting donations to the Leukemia Association in Ran's name._

_During high school Ran Isuel lead her team to three state championships and four district championships. She was a starting player her freshman year at UCLA that won the NCAA National Championship._

_Francis Dermont, the coach of the Olympic Team, named Ran honorary team Captain and the team will wear black arm bands during the Olympics games to honor their fallen teammate and all the U.S. Olympic athletes will honor Ran during the opening ceremonies. It is also rumored South Korea will have a special ceremony to honor a "daughter" of their country and Mr. and Mrs. Isuel received a special invitation from the South Korean Government to attend the ceremony as honored guests. They have not yet decided if they will attend._

_The coach and team are saddened by their loss and reported Ran was not only an outstanding player, a fierce competitor, but a pure joy to be around and true champion._

Amber, still with tears in her eyes, placed the newspaper clipping back in the silver box and pulled out the folded paper. She sighed sadly as she unfolded the paper and started to read the hand written note on hospital stationary. Again, something she did every year at this time. She used to read the note almost everyday at least twenty times, but she made a promise to her best friend she would one day stop grieving and move on. Amber inhaled a shaky breath and read.

My dear Amber…no that is not right is it? Not good enough! Lets try again - My dear, wonderful, sweet, beautiful, charming, lovely, darling, drama queen, manipulative, bestest, greatest friend, Amber Camille St. Claire,

I have asked the priest to give you this note after I am gone.

I am writing this note while I watch you sleep, yeah there are times when I am awake and your sleeping, not many but there are. You look so beautiful curled up on the couch. God, you are such a lovely young woman, inside and out. You look just like your mother. I know, I know, you hate that…but Ams, you do. I see your mother in you, baby, a lot of her in you. Which is a complement by the way since I adored your mom and thought she was a true lady.

I really don't know what to say…I am not going to go on and on about how much I love you…you know I do…and I don't have enough paper. But I will tell you this…Amber, I love you more than anything including my own life. What I am going to write is to help you. To help you move on. Amber, I'm dying, baby. I don't have long now I can tell. I know we have talked over the last few days about how I will get better and the things we will do when I get out of here, but you know as well as I do it is not going to happen. I am sorry…I am sorry for leaving you! But, baby, I am so tired and it hurts so much. The pain is unbearable sometimes and I…I need to go, Ams. I cannot fight it anymore. But I am scared to move on. I am not scared to die. I made my peace with God and I am forgiven and I have had time to prepare, but I am afraid to die because of you. Ams, I am so afraid my death is going to hurt you so bad and I have seen that type of pain in you when your mom and dad died and I never never wanted to be the cause of it! For that I am so sorry. And then I am afraid to leave you because who will look after you? Who will protect you from this evil world? That scares me! Be strong, Ams, show the strength you have shown in the last four days. Do not obsess over my death, yes you can be obsessive. Cry over me, grieve over me, morn over me, (Hell you better morn me, because if you don't I will come back and haunt your skinny white ass!), but do not let it obsess you. Show me that strength I know you have inside you. Promise me that!

Take care of mom and dad for me as well. Be a daughter to them now. They need you! Mom is a strong person, but she needs you, Amber. And dad…he does not show it now, but he is taking this very hard. Be good to them and care for them. They love you so much. Enclosed is a ring my mom and dad gave to me when I turned thirteen. I am giving it to you. It is a special ring that has been in my mom's family for generations and is traditional passed to the oldest daughter on their thirteenth birthday. Mom said it goes way back, I think she got it from a cereal box but humor her anyway…but seriously, I am giving it to you since you are now their oldest daughter. Pass it on to your daughter and then hers and so one. The writing on it are the Korean symbols for: Love, Kindness, and Honor. It is yours now. Mom has a special jeweler that sizes it and all. Think of me when you wear it, but think only of the good things we did and my love for you. Do not think of these terrible last four days. Promise me that! Never think of this awful days and me being sick! I do not want you to remember me this way!

Did you know I used to have a vision of our futures? A vision of when we would be older and married and have kids of our own. I would picture you and me sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea in the afternoon while our husbands (or wife for you) were at work and we would be watching our daughters play outside like we use to do. They would be as close as you and I are. Silly…but I liked it. I will not have a daughter to watch grow up, but you will. Tell her about me sometimes…I would like that.

Well, I am getting sleepy now and I will see you in the morning…thank you, Ams, think you for coming into my life and thank you for being my friend and for your love! I needed you in my life as much as you needed me. Did you know that? I know I was the stronger one and took care of you, but you gave me something in return. You gave me unconditional love! I did need you, Ams, more than you ever knew. Your friendship and love meant more to me than I can ever express or put into words so I will not even try. You are the writer anyway.

I love you so much and it was an honor, privilege, and blessing to be your best friend. My life was so much fuller with you in it! I am not going to tell you not to ever forget me, I know you won't. I will watch over you, trust me! I will be your guardian Angel…I promise you that!

I love you, baby, and I will miss you,

Ran

P.S. Tell your brother he should have married me when he had the chance!

P.S.S. One more thing – The first thing I want you to do when your leave the hospital is take a shower…after four days without leaving the room…well…Ams, you stink, sweetie!

Love you, baby…so much,

Ran

Amber folded the note, place it back in the box, and wiped her eyes. She smiled when she saw the silver ring on her finger and took a deep breath. Amber hung the ornament on the tree.

After the death of Ran, Amber and Patrick repaid the kindness the girl's mother and father gave them when their parents died. Kindness and love. Amber became a segregate daughter for the couple and Patrick of course was always like a son to the two. Ran's parents had a tendency to spoil Amber and also Patrick's son Sean, who they called their own grandson at times. Sean even called the two his grandparents. Amber grinned and touched her stomach, "Baby you are going to be sooo spoiled." Ran's mother was so excited when Amber told her she was having a girl. She smiled sadly. She often wondered if it was wrong to love Mr. and Mrs. Isuel as much as she loved her own mom and dad. Sometimes it made her feel guilty, but when she would ask Patrick at times he would smile, call her silly, and remind her their parents would be happy the two of them had someone as great as the Isuel's to care for them. Amber knew also her mom and dad would have done the same for Ran. She also knew it was something Ran's mom and dad needed as well.

Amber let out a small moan as she felt the baby kick and she placed a hand on her stomach. "Calm down, Lilly, Samantha will be home soon." She said aloud. They found out the baby was a girl four days ago and agreed to name it Lillian Ran St. Claire Puckett. Lillian for Ambers mother, Ran for well…Ran, and of course Amber and her wife's last names. Amber and Sam were married two years ago when New York passed the same sex marriage law and last year decided to have a baby. They considered adoption but then settled on in vitro. They also agreed they would adopt their next child. They reconnected after Ran's death and stayed very close friends while they finished college. They dated on and off over their college years but both girls decided on nothing serious since their career plans would keep them apart and at times on opposite sides of the world. One week Amber would be in Paris covering a fashion show and Sam would be in Tokyo introducing a new board or fashion line to the Asian market, but they always talked at least once a week without ever missing a week. True it may have been a brief phone call due to a hectic schedule, but it was still a phone call to say hi or ask how the other was doing. They agreed to date other people, but neither one did and when they did have a chance to see one another, even for one night, it was a night of passionate bliss for the both of them. They also spent hours laying in bed talking after their desires were slated. Amber would cry and hold a sobbing Sam in her arms as the blonde would talk about her father and the abuse she suffered. Sam would cry and laugh alongside Amber when the girl talked about her mom and dad. They shared their lives, past and present, with no secrets. They soon decided to date exclusively, moved in together, and then got married. Amber loved Sam with all her heart, but it was true love and not obsessive love as it was when she was younger.

Amber smiled and got up to fix herself some herb tea before she had to get dressed before Patrick and Carly arrived. She thought how happy her life was and how blessed she was to have Sam in her life and a baby on the way. She considered herself to be the luckiest person in the world, but one person would always disagree with her, Samantha always told her it was _she_ that was blessed and lucky to have a wife like Amber in her life and a child on the way. Who was more blessed was something the two never could agree on.

End


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